You start off believing that you are not the one responsible for this, that you're not the one doing it, and you're not doing it to yourself.
You need to transition to realizing that you in fact DO have power to choose this, you HAVE chosen it, and you ARE doing it to yourself.
What you thought was being done to you outside of your will, is in fact being done BY you with your will.
It's a taking back of the ownership of being the CAUSE of everything.
While you believe that you are not the cause of something, you WILL perceive that it is being done to you against your will.
But realize this. The only reason it LOOKS LIKE it is being done against your will, is because you have not OWNED UP to being the one who is doing it.
So it's like, you have these two ways of perceiving:
1) They're doing it to me, I'm not the one doing this.
2) I'm doing this to me, they're not the ones doing this.
And the ONLY way for you to gain freedom from fear and suffering, is to simply CHOOSE that #2 is the truth. That YOU are the one doing this to yourself, therefore you are powerful, and therefore you can STOP IT.
Nothing about #1 will allude to a way out or a way to get others to stop terrorizing you. It will seem true that its their fault, their cause and their responsibility.
While you're in that perception, nothing will look like it suggests otherwise.
You have to take a leap. Regardless of how everything seems, regardless of appearances, and even if there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever to indicate that you are causing this or want this at all... even in spite of that, you MUST be willing to take a leap of faith into the POSSIBILITY that you may in fact be the cause of this.
It's like going from being underwater to being above water by just teleporting yourself there.
Only with a little willingness to question what SEEMS completely real and completely convincing, IN SPITE OF IT, can you have a hope of becoming free of it. You must be willing to QUESTION APPEARANCES. You must be willing to ask yourself, "is this real" or. .."is this true". ... or "do I REALLY have nothing to do with this?"
Only by questioning what, at the time, seems completely real and truth-filled, IN SPITE of it appearing real and truth-filled, do you have any hope of freeing yourself from the victim consciousness.
That willingness is an opening of awareness, a doorway into a higher realm of consciousness. It's the beginning of forgiveness. It's an act of faith in a POTENTIAL TRUTH beyond what you are currently experiencing. It's the beginning of a miracle.