Yesterday I was somewhat excited about the idea, or maybe the 'clarity', that everything is happening INSIDE of myself.
The whole separation from God is 'self contained'. It doesn't do anything to God, who is 'outside' of it. And it also means there really is no 'other' involved - no other people who are 'out there' doing stuff to me.
I used to think the separation from God was all about an 'attack on God', but God has not been changed. I, however, believe that I have been changed - the Son of God - and that is where all of the problem lies.
In this "war with myself", all of this is happening inside me, and so it must be coming FROM me, and TO me, in every instance.
I feel this is significant because ALL of the ego's distractions including sin, guilt, fear, projection, victimhood, stories, death, etc are based on the idea that the problem is NOT inside of myself, is NOT being done by myself, and that a "separate alien will" has taken over.
If we are to be truly responsible and self-empowered then we have to recognize that, at its very CORE, the separation is entirely an internal scenario, being done by and to myself. I also am still 'inside' of God. But there is a lot to be responsible for.
I am the one who is trying to be separate.
I am the one who finds myself sinful.
I am the one who has decided this means I'm guilty.
I am the one who believes my guilt demands a punishment.
I am the one afraid of that punishment coming from myself.
I am the one who gives that punishment to myself.
In this, there is nobody else involved. It's not about my brother or my neighbor or family member or coworker or stranger. It's not about God. ****God did not participate in the separation****.
The reason that this is so IMPORTANT is that we need to VERY CLEARLY DISCERN exactly who is doing what to whom. And if we are to not be victims and not suffer, we really need to know where this suffering is coming from and who is doing it - REALLY - otherwise we will be stuck and helpless.
So the ego has really taken this and run with it. It has tried to project responsibility for separation and 'sin' onto God. It has tried to project the source of guilt and condemnation onto God and `other people`. It has tried to project the source of fear onto God and other people. It has tried to make out that other people are the source of punishment (or God). It has literally asked other people to seem to provide that punishment (or uncontrollable life circumstances). The ego is ALL about shifting the blame and the responsibility away from YOUR INTERNAL SELF, and `out` onto some `other` skapegoat. And that 'other' is none other than our OWN SELF - a portion of our own self that we have separated off.
If we can bring all of that back within, and take responsibility for all of it, there is a TREMENDOUS POWER here - a potential to reclaim the ability to recognize not only, that you have done this to yourself, but the very CLEAR DISTINCTION that nobody else has EVER, EVER, EVER had anything to do with doing this "to you". It is literally the end of victimhood and the end of suffering and the end of death (which is the ultimate form of skapegoating).
If we can clearly see, that everythinig that we're experiencing is FROM OURSELVES, TO OURSELVES, then we can do something about it. If we cannot see this, then we are totally stuck. It we are not willing to see this, we are totally stuck. We HAVE to be willing to admit to this truth. It is the key to salvation - recognizing that you have done this to yourself.
Perhaps this is ALL that you need to know. If you can clearly discern that you have but done this ALL to yourself, that it's YOU that finds you sinful, that it's YOU that finds you guilty, that it's YOU that is demanding your own punishment, that it's YOU that is making yourself afraid of your own punishment, that it's YOU that is literally punishing yourself, and that it's YOU who has a death wish, THEN ....... then there is hope because there is NOTHING ELSE STOPPING YOU from choosing again and reclaiming total innocence!
There is no separate self. There is no other.
Until you can see this clearly, you will see yourself as a victim who has no power to change anything. Yet, when you do see this clearly, you will realize you are NOT a victim and you have ALL of the power to change it.
This is all about you. Not God. Not other people. Not weird discarnate entities. You. You, from you, to you.
The secret to salvation is this: You are doing this TO YOURSELF. That's why this clarity is so exciting, if you can see it and accept it.
Will you allow you to love yourself? That's the question. Will you acknowledge the love that you already are? Will you let God love you?