It sounds counter-intuitive, but the more you try to rely on your own separate self, the more afraid you will become.
This means you are trusting the ego, and since the ego is completely unfounded and uncertain, it can only lead to a lack of reliability.
People the world over champion the idea of learning more, developing more skills, becoming moresuccessful, being independent, relying on yourself, gaining confidence, being a superhero, etc... but all of these are goals of the ego trying to bolster itself up to be a stronger ego.
What we really need is to let go of this and learn to trust Spirit/God. We don't have to tackle this life all on our own. We don't have to deal with the crap that happens all by ourselves. We are ill equipped. We are limited. We need help from beyond our 'self' - beyond our ego self.
And that means we're going to have to learn to trust God. Not just as an intellectual exercise, but actual real trust, openness, dependence on and teamwork with God.
When we share in God's power we are far more powerful and secure and confident than we can EVER be trusting the ego.