Using your persona signs an all-or-nothing deal with the ego

Tuesday, Nov 15, 2016 846 words 3 mins 45 secs
An A Course in Miracles Blog  © 2016 Paul West

When you decide to use your persona, you are actually striking a deal with the ego. The ego has an all-or-nothing clause, where if you want to use the persona, you have to also use the shadow right along with it. Usually you don't realize you're making this deal, because you focus on the parts of the deal you want and like - which is what the persona is all about. The shadow part is just a... technicality, we need not mention.

The ego offers you what seems like a lovely glowing possible answer to all your problems, and forgets to remind you about the steaming pile of shit that will be coming right along with it.

So as you enter into the persona, you're entering into a deal, where you are saying to the ego, okay, I'll take the risk of possibly getting what I want through your persona mechanism, knowing that I might not get it and I might have to deal with some pain instead. It's sort of a 50-50 chance. But you take the odds because you're desperate.

What then ends up happening is that in order to wear the persona mask, you have to now 'serve' the ego. You have to serve the persona itself which is part of the ego, by worshipping everything it values. You make it your idol, your goal, your cherished beloved artificial self.

This means you're now in a vulnerable position of being exposed to what seems to be coming at you from other people, who seem now to be able to affect you. You attempt to screen out their BS with your persona by relegating it to your shadow. But now you're also concerned that you may or may not 'get' what you were trying to get out of the deal.

Part of being in the persona means you will be very 'self conscious' about what other people think of you, because part of the use of this persona was to get other people to think 'good things' about you, which you seem to think are valuable opinions.... ego strokes. You want people to feed your ego, not detract from it. But this also means you have to put on a bit of a 'show' - a people pleasing performance - in order to 'get' that attention, that narcissistic adoration or that special love.

So now you're basically an 'entertainer' for other people, like some kind of ego puppet, dangling from the ego's strings, singing and dancing and trying to win people over in order to suck their energy. So while you're using the persona, it HAS to mean that you have accepted the ego's rules, you're playing the ego's agenda, you're doing what the ego wants, you're serving the ego's ultimate goals, and you're basically all caught up doing what you think everyone else wants you to do. You're not being yourself.

When you realize that the 'game' of playing with the ego persona, which seems to promise tremendous rewards but often brings suffering and sickness, always produces pain in some form eventually, you might eventually realize it is not worth playing it. And especially if you come to realize, that what the ego was offering you, you did not even NEED to begin with. You only thought you needed it because you bought into your own ego lie that you were somehow defective or lacking or separate from infinite supply.

So if you take off the ego mask, drop the persona and the shadow, and stop trying to 'get' the benefits of the persona's promises, you're going to find that you are much more empowered. You'll realize that you no longer 'serve' the ego, i.e. you're no longer tied to having to give 'other people' what they seem to want to 'get' from you. You no longer have to entertain people or put on a show that you don't want to provide. You no longer have to suffer underneath a fantasy life image that covers up all of the pain that this very same persona generated in the shadows. And you also no longer have to suck up and people-please anyone for any reason whatsoever. So now you find yourself somewhat empty-handed as to who exactly you are now going to serve.

Well... if you're not serving the ego... and the only other mind you can be part of is Holy Spirit//God mind, who are you going to be working with now? You're not going to be looking to the ego for 'what to do' or 'what to say' or 'how to present yourself' or 'what facade to put on' or 'what to write/publish' or whatever else. Instead, you now stand apart from the ego masses, essentially 'free', independent of the entire ego game, ready and willing to come empty handed to God. And then it's merely a matter of you saying, well, here I am God, I'm here 'alone', I don't want to work with the ego any more, what do you want me to do?

P.S why did every episode of Scooby Doo have to have someone in a costume? lol

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