Yesterday was quite a breakthrough. After making a video about immortality and writing a long post about how fear is self attack, Holy Spirit invited me to "practice" the ideas during a visit to a doctor. Usually at these visits (for another person) I pick up all kinds of anxiety and have reactions and fear thoughts.
So what I did was, remembered that every single fearful thought is in fact my attempt to attack myself, and attack others. Every fear thought is actually me trying to undermine my immortality. Every fearful idea or response, whether it's mine or not, is an attempt to get rid of, push away, attack, myself and others.
So as I sat there, and as fear thoughts started popping in, I instantly saw.... hey, that's me attacking myself. That's me trying to attack. And it completely diffused the thought in a split-second, made it disappear, and didn't allow it to "progress" or linger. I felt empowered because I realized that I was doing all of this fearing TO MYSELF, and I did not have to do that. It turned out to be the calmest, easiest, most relaxed visit ever. Total success.
Because you see, while I think that fear is "just fear" and it's justified or caused by external things, I'm not really being aware of what's happening. If I reframe it that fear is actually an attempt to attack (e.g. my attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability, and fear is an attack thought), then I'm much more compelled to not do that.
I mean, if you realize that fear is actually you attacking, yourself and others, and you don't want to attack yourself or others, perhaps even because you would feel guilty about doing so, and if you realize that your fearing is you attacking, then you become motivated in quite a different way. It's now about not wanting to be a murderous asshole towards yourself and others, instead of it seeming to be about you being just some victim that is entirely affected by others doing stuff to YOU, and not the other way around. When you are afraid, YOU are the one doing the attacking!
So it's a complete reversal of cause and effect. It acknowledges that fear is coming OUT of you, towards the situation, towards other people, and NOT that the fear is being caused from the outside in. And that really is the secret of salvation. Because it then suddenly becomes starkly obvious that you are doing the fear to yourself. You are literally attacking your invulnerability with your fearful thought. You are trying to undermine, weaken, overthrow, get rid of, diminish or destroy your immortality. And you don't want to do that.
The reframing of fear as "attack coming from me" is very very useful as a tool. Because it has truth in it. Fear actually IS coming from you. It IS your attempt to separate. It's your attempt to push things away (which is attack/murder). It's your attempt to stop things (which is attack/murder). It's your attempt to 'kill off' the thing that you perceive as a threat.
All of the sense you have that you are "afraid of" something and "want it to go away" or "want it to stop", if you look at it, is really you trying to destroy it. You want to get rid of it. That's murderous thinking. You want it to end. That's an attempt to end life. Resistance isn't passive, or a defense, it's an attack. And similarly, "if I defend myself I am attacked". Fear seems like a defense, a protective mechanism. It's not, it's totally a weapon.
And in fact you will hear stories from some people as to how 'fearing' caused someone else to suffer. How being anxious and doubtful and uncertain and concerned and worrying about someone, actually sends nasty psychic attack vibes to them. These kind of thoughts are actually attacks. They're attempts to picture someone as weak and suffering and vulnerable and threatened. It's a belief that there's something wrong with them, they're sinful, they're capable of being hurt, and this "fake concern" is entirely an ego thing. A weapon of attack disguised as "caring".
The opposite of being concerned about someone and telling them "be careful you don't...." or "try not to"... etc... is to EMPOWER them, to support their integrity and strength, to affirm why they are confident and fearless and will prevail. To focus on their strength, not their potential weakness. That's empowering, and it's totally the opposite of what can pass for "caring" in the form of worries and fears and "concerns". Concern is fear, full stop. Concern is seriousness. Seriousness is attack. And fear is an attempt NOT to acknowledge someone's immortality, but to deny it and make the person weak.
It's very eye opening. The way I felt lighter, brighter, stronger, fearless, and more tranquil after nipping all these self-attack fear thoughts in the bud, was a reward in itself. Definitely something to keep applying. I had like 10 fear-driven attack thoughts before breakfast this morning. I had to re-frame every one of them as attempts to attack myself, and to stop doing so. I had no idea just how many of my thoughts are attack thoughts. It seems that almost all of them are driven by fear. And every one of them is my attempt to prove I am not immortal.
Sometimes when less than happy, I will notice that probably some fear is present. I will look at the "fearing" itself and to some degree this shines a light on it and dispels it. Just even admitting to being afraid is helpful.
But what I recently discovered is that when I am less than happy, it is possible to actually notice that I'm believing not just in fear and guilt, but in sin. If I recognize this and look at the sense or feeling of "its a sin" or "sinfulness" or "I am sinful", which can express itself in any form of guilt or fear or emotional upset, I am quite surprised how rapidly a tremendous weight is lifted. It's like a dark veil is just lifted right up and all of those symptoms just disappear.
If sin isn't real, then everything that came from sin must go with it - all the guilt and all the fear and all of the unhappiness. It's like unplugging the problem at its core.
As I recently have been undoing my own belief in my own sinfulness, which is also the general belief that sin is real, I've been coming up against challenges. I had several days of some pretty heavy "release" which was overwhelming.
Holy Spirit was glad that I could realize I was only releasing because I had been willing to let go of some old belief in my sinfulness/guilt, but also advised that I should be gentle and slow down a bit. Trying too hard to undo all of it so quickly.
A major cornerstone of what was releasing, was the feeling and belief of not being lovable by God, because of sin and guilt that I still think is true of me. So I was trying to dig all of that out. Even though that's worthwhile and helpful, in the big picture, we do have to pace ourselves a bit.
What came after this release, though, was a feeling of self-love the likes of which I have never felt before. For about half a day I just felt really soft and loving toward myself and others. This proves to me that this undoing of beliefs is very worth pursuing.
I've also noticed, as I "push" myself or challenge myself to question ... do I REALLY believe I am sinless? ... it is pushing into my awareness various beliefs that I have that I'm going to have to look at. Here are some of the strong ones which have been coming up for me lately, and these might be the same for you. I think these beliefs are strong because they have a lot of social support and emphasis. Beliefs like:
Cancer
Evil
Death
Unworthiness
Being attacked
Loss of a loved one
etc...
I've quite often heard the word "cancer" come up from my ego, at stupid times, and I know it's a false belief but it still comes up driven entirely by fear. And it comes up because I still believe in it. There has been so much attention given to cancer, making it seem REAL, making it out to be a huge dangerous threat, an enemy, that everyone is trying to avoid and attack etc. That has seeped into and formed a belief in me - my own doing really, but I've created this belief that it has truth and reality to it. So now that shows me that I have the job of undoing my belief that cancer has ANY reality to it whatsoever.
Similarly, I have started to come up against questioning whether "evil" is real. I found myself for a few days getting lost again in trying to figure out what evil IS, how it operates, WHY it is doing what it appears to be doing etc. I've had some experiences that involve "evil spirits", if you can call them that. They're not friendly. I cast one out of me a few months ago kind of by accident when Jesus was helping me with a healing. I felt it leave. And I've had other encounters.
In the illusory dream world they "seem" to exist, and putting any amount of attention on them may attract them. But also, fearing them is just as bad. The "fear that evil is real" is a quite fundemanal ego belief. As a belief that "evil is real" it must produce fear, which is the suggestion you don't want it but the belief in it is a choice to want it. You become scared because of your OWN belief in it being real, which sort of pushes you into a confrontation with the thing you want to get away from.
Ultimately these things are illusions and love has no opposite. Jesus told me that they are "just fear". Just as this whole world is based on fear. And fearing it is not helpful. We have to be firm in Christ and in truth. Belief in sin being real produces the conditions for the ego to attack in all its ways, not just through hellish beings. We are not meant to fear these things or try to get into trying to understand or explain them too much, because it's really easy to get lost in that.
I found myself getting lost in the attempt to figure out what and how and why these things exist, only to find myself feeling more afraid and to be in a stronger mode of "questioning". Being in a mode of questioning is not a mode of answers OR answer-finding. Jesus's instruction to me again was "decide", which I've come to learn means I am not a victim and have the power to choose, and if I choose to believe that these things are not real and that they have no effect on me, then THAT WILL BE my experience. If I choose to believe in them, I will experience them as such. I get to decide. If I am in indecision, I'm actually unconsciously choosing to believe evil is real.
So I think we have these quite basic, quite strong beliefs we have to unearth and sort out. There is nothing about evil that is other than just another description of the ego. And the Holy Spirit knows that the ego does not really exist. That needs to become our belief also, and then we will be in celebration and joy and safety and fearlessness, knowing this truth. The truth shall set you free of evil because there IS no real evil. Evil is just as much an illusion as everything else the ego made.
It's a bit of a challenge though... confronting these beliefs and being in that place of "uncertainty" about whether it MIGHT be true and real. The sense of threat that comes from actually really considering it to be a real possibility. And then feeling unsure whether to believe it is real or not. That just means we're trusting the ego too much and are choosing to make it real. We just need to keep chipping away at these beliefs and keep undoing them to get to the point where we can truly accept the Atonement fully and recognize illusions for what they are.
When you move away from love, you move away from power. Love is power. God is love. God is power.
Moving away from love you move into fear. Fear is powerlessnses. It's the attempt to have no power. It's the attempt to be overpowered. It's the attempt to give your power away to someone or something else, who would otherwise have no power over you.In fear, you give your power to something in the world, asking it to have YOUR power OVER yourself. You ask it to attack, threaten, hurt, destroy and upset you. You give it the power to do this in your mind by framing it as an attacker. You want to be punished when you are afraid, and are asking the world to hurt you.
Fear seems to be saying that you do not want something to be happening, but it is DOING the opposite. It is requesting that there be suffering. It's a way for someone who is guilty to ask another to agree that they are guilty, deserving of punishment. As if to ask, please confirm that I am worthless and deserve suffering, and please make me suffer for me.
Being in fear is being away from love, and therefore away from life and resurrection. Fear produces death and sickness. "All forms of sickness even unto death are physical expressions of the FEAR of awakening." Suffering therefore arises from powerlessness, in which you appear to have no power to stop it because you believe falsely that you have no power.
Being afraid is a displacement of your total power onto the world. You give it your power and make it have power over you. You demand that it treat you a certain way, and usually in a destructive or threatening way. You fear in order to give your power away and to become powerless. Being powerless feels like weakness, it makes you freeze up, the life drains from you, you become paralyzed and eventually dead.
Death is a total power loss. It's like you are battery and all the life is drained out of you. It represents an unwillingness to live and an unwillingness to have power over the world. Truly you have power over death because nothing can overthrow your power unless you will to be powerless. "No one dies without their own consent."
"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No-one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are."
Giving your power away is also murder. It frames another person as an attacker and accuses them of sin. It associates cause with them while also believing in separation, and so they appear to be sinful to you - the cause of your suffering. While fearing them, you are attacking them. While feeling powerless against them, you are using your power to attack them. Seeking to destroy another destroys yourself. Seeking to disempower another strips you of your own power and gives it away. You cannot be powerful when you are taking power away from others - either you are both all-powerful or you are both dead.
To become powerful again you only need recognize that you still have total power to choose not to give your power away. You do it to yourself. No-one ever takes your power from you. No-one has power over your will and freedom. It is you who MUST consent to give your power, and you cannot "lose" it accidentally. Reclaiming entails recognizing the secret of salvation, that it is you who gives it away, and it's not the world that takes it from you.
All of your power is God's power. "To recognize that all power is of God is to gain all power." When you disown power you are disowning God, and are saying that you do not belong to God. It's an attempt to take yourself away from God and give yourself to someone else to be the author of you. Then you believe that the world is your cause. And when you believe that something evil and unlike God is causing you, you regard it as sinning against you.
There are no causes in the world. There is only cause in your mind. The world does not cause any kind of suffering. It does not cause sickness or disease or illness or damage or malfunction or death. Only your mind has the power to cause these things to show up in your dream. And it is in your mind that you have total power to undo and reverse and prevent all of these things. If you do not choose to give your power away, you cannot die. Who could see death who is powered by God?
Watch yourself as you give your power away to the world. Every time you believe it is doing something to you, you have given it power. You have framed it as having YOUR ability to cause. You are then afraid of your own power, seen dissociated and projected onto someone else. You accuse them of using your power against you. To believe that the world can overpower you, is to be afraid of power.
And to be afraid of power is an attempt to reject power. This is why fear feels like you're trying to stop something from happening.You cannot be disempowered unless you alone choose to disempower yourself. When you slip into this choice, you give power to the world and it gains the seeming ability to tempt you. But you gave it this ability by believing it has cause, power, mind, alien will, and ability of its own. It has NONE of its own, beyond what you have lent to it. Since you are disempowering yourself on a daily basis, you need to therefore recognize that you're doing this and stop doing it.
You need to take your power back, not from the world as such because it did not really take it from you. You gave it away freely. But you must freely reclaim it by realizing that in your mind there is an activity, an effort, a mechanism of thought, in which you are actively trying to get rid of your power. Every fear disowns power and assigns it to something else. You are fearing instead of loving, because you are trying to be a suffering victim. You are only ever doing this to yourself, and you can reclaim your power at any time.You have in you the ability to reclaim not only all power, but all power in heaven and earth. And then nothing has any power over you at all. When you are all powerful you are sharing in God's power, and nothing can oppose his will.
"God is seen as outside, fierce and powerful, eager to keep all power for Himself."
"It was only my DECISION that gave me all power in Heaven and earth. My only gift to you is to help you make the same decision FOR YOURSELF."
"All power in Heaven and earth is therefore given him and he will share it with you when you have completed yours."
"My father gives all power unto me."
"you are part of God, Who IS all power."
"By teaching the power of the Kingdom of God Himself, He teaches you that ALL POWER IS YOURS."
"He must HIMSELF withdraw that power, remembering that all power is of God."
"I am not helpless, but all powerful."
When you be afraid of something, you are attempting to increase a sense of separation between you and something. You hope that if you can separate yourself from it more, you will feel safer.
It doesn't work. It is the opposite.
The more you try to resist or push away or separate from what you think is the thing you do not want, the more intense it will become, the more threatening it will appear, and the more you will be magnetized to it.
It is as though, as you pull away from it, using a psychological 'force' of withdrawal, you simultaneously create a great 'pull' of equal and opposite effect, which draws that very scary thing to you.
Perhaps you've had a dream, where in the dream you are afraid and are running away from someone who is chasing you. It seems that the more you fight to get away, the more versatile they become at closing in on you. Eventually, however, you might find (if you chose well) that you surrender the fight, and you stop running. What happens when you stop running? The person stops chasing. And not only do they stop chasing, but they stop seeming like they even wanted to catch up to you, and they don't even attack you. How about that? This is the mind symbolizing what is happening in the psyche when you become afraid - what you resist persists, until you stop resisting and then it literally becomes your friend instead of your enemy.
It is hilarious that, therefore, the very thing you are trying to get rid of, you are intensely CAUSING to come after you. The very thing you try to separate yourself from, tries to come closer to you. The very thing you don't want, seems to show up even more as though you want it very much. This is the simple functioning of the mind. You are literally creating your own enemies because intensifying the sense of separation between you and your enemy simultaneously renders them appearing to be an even stronger enemy.
Surrender is the antidote of fear, whereby you stop fighting with yourself and give up the pursuit of freedom from enemies, which causes you to be free from enemies. A paradox it seems, but this is how the mind works. Stop fighting and your enemies stop fighting you back. Stop attacking and your enemies stop being attackers. Stop fearing and things stop seeming so fear-inducing.
Stop.
The ego thrives on two sides of a coin: desire and fear.
Desire is its attempt to "get", which really means to steal from another and deprive them of it.
Fear is its attempt to "not get" or to "get rid of", which means to be stolen from and deprived.
These are the two sides of the same horizontal axis in which some finite amount of something is transferred to or from another, to or from the separate self.
Fear is actually a form of attack which is an attempt to murder, and an attempt to "make it go away", or a rejection of something - typically to get rid of "only what is negative".
Greed, shall we say, is more a form of selfishness and an attempt to be given "only what is positive".
So the ego is always trying to get rid of/kill what it perceives as negative, through fear, and to get more of what it regards as positive through possession or attachment.
Everyone always tries to get rid of what they consider "false", while trying to get more of what they consider "true", whether it be on the level of spirit/reality or in illusions. The ego and the soul both want what they consider to be true, and what is true is always valuable.
However, attachment through getting, also leads to the potential for loss, because you can only seem to lose what you seem to have stolen. Believing it can be stolen from another is to believe it can be stolen from you.
And similarly fear can attract to you what you do not what, in the same vein as "what you resist persists". Fearing makes it real and, while saying you do not want it, is a choice to have more of it.
So in effect the ego attacks itself by making itself be threatened by the very things it says it does not want, so that they haunt it and pursue it relentlessly. Which is why fear also entails a sort of running away and being chased (especially in dreams).
And then on the flipside the ego causes itself to lose the very things it cherishes by trying to stop them leaving, which is a kind of push/pull energy that forces them away.
In other words, attraction and repulsion are the same thing. Since the ego also fears what it thinks it wants, this prevents it from gaining it, and so deprives itself.
What you try gain you lose. What you fear comes to you. Success is failure. Failure is success. Attachment becomes loss. Gain becomes the fear of loss. Loss becomes deprivation which inspires lack and wanting, which leads to trying to get, etc. The metaphysics/dynamics/logic here is quite interesting.
And on it goes, feeding upon its own madness.
"Depression is an inevitable consequence of separation. So are anxiety, worry, a deep sense of helplessness, misery, suffering, and intense fear of loss." UrW41L1
The funny thing with fear is, that while you are feeling it, it actually changes how reality looks to you .... so the world goes from appearing to be a place of safety and beauty, to a place of darkness and danger. And that's only because there is fear happening in your mind. You think you MUST be afraid if xyz is happening. That's not true.
So it's not as though you're actually having an objective, detached viewpoint. Every perspective of the ego always claims that it is being completely objective and capable of discerning what is true and false, when in fact it is always CONTRIBUTING to what it sees and experiences. As such ego thoughts are never neutral. "There are no neutral thoughts" - ACIM
You think that the amount of fear that you experience correlates exactly to how much of an 'actual' danger is out there. But fear distorts reality, and causes you to be incapable of seeing reality. So how do you know that there really is as much danger as you perceive?
And what if I were to tell you that "projection makes perception"? i.e. you are projecting fear onto the situation, which MAKES it look like there is a danger, so now you believe you are unsafe even if you are safe. You think there is such a thing as reliable fear, or discerning fear, or very carefully considered fear. There is no such thing. As in quantum physics, if you look with the ego you will change what you are looking at. You cannot be anything but subjective.
Outside of your fear, it is possible that there is a world that is not a threat to you, and is not a cause of fear. It is possible that the PRESENCE OF FEAR in you is actually the ONLY problem that needs to be dealt with. It's the mustard seed in your own eye the blocks you from perceiving truthfully, and as such you see blockages in the eyes of others, i.e. intentions to attack you. Your attack on them shows you this. Your fearing about them shows you a reason to be afraid.
This is the secret then to fear. Fear is its own problem. It tries to justify itself, and it changes how reality looks to you, and then shows you that altered reality as though claiming it is real. Therefore, the only things you are ever are afraid of are how reality looks when you are IN the fear, which paints a picture that's horrifying and threatening. You are not SEEING reality. You're seeing the mirror-reflection of fear itself. But when you are IN the fear, you really really believe that the threat is real. If you USE fear, which is a choice, you will find reasons to justify why you are afraid. And none of them are true. Fear is always false - a lie.
Outside of fear there is no reason or need to be afraid. Everything is safe. There is no danger or threat. Nothing can harm you. You are invulnerable. You are immortal spirit.
Because we don't realize how much power we have lost by following the ego, we might not realize just how much power is available to us.
Returning to God doesn't just mean we remain some kind of disempowered, barely able to do anything being that's nice and calm and unassuming. We've been so used to living in limitation and lack, spiritually starving ourselves, and so used to blocking the extension of God, that we may not anticipate the wealth that is on offer.
This wealth will return to us as we reclaim the Kingdom, and resurrect to our True Identity.
It is the difference between going from death, to being alive. Going from suffering to happiness. Going from loss to abundance. Going from fear to profound natural confidence.
It's as though we've taken God's power and presence and have tried to squeeze it and wring it out and drain all of the life out of it. We've become spiritually dry and barren.
As you awaken, your willingness to do God's will and your openness to RECEIVE, is going to open the floodgates to the extension of LOVE to flow and radiate through you. Love is power.
Quite literally, the absence of love is an absence of life-giving force, an absence of freedom, an absence of manifestational potential, and a breaking of causal power.
We're been preventing ourselves from wielding miracles, limiting and stopping or creative capabilities, and have placed ourselves in a prison with shackles on. Having bound ourselves to the ego and the body, we have shut down our unlimited power, and now thing there is no greater power to reclaim.
Your ability to cause anything has been reduced down to almost nothing by being in the ego. So much separation has come between cause and effect, to suggest they are disconnected. It's like the power cable is unplugged.
Returning to awareness of God's love WILL reconnect you with power. The power of the mind and heart. Causality will be hooked back up with effects to bring about immediate manifestations of God's will.
This power to cause and produce instant effects, where cause and effect are one, is your completely natural birthright. It is God-given and shared with God.
The potential of what can be accomplished in this power, compared to the almost complete powerlessness rendered by the ego, is staggering.
As you approach God, it is like stepping into the sun. The light radiates, warmth returns, everything becomes dynamic and alive, and life resurrects the dead. God is life and the giver of life which, by comparison, shows just how little and weak the ego is.
As you step out to express God's love, fulfill God's will, and extend God's power, miracles will become effortless and unlimited. Your word will become infused with Spirit, such that you can speak to mountains and force them to move, literally.
By reclaiming and owning up to your natural Christ Power, you will go from cowering and fearing, to certainty, authority, and complete power over all illusions. They will be nothing to you, both in truth and in expression.
You will become like Jesus, or Moses, or many other miracle workers, who share God's impressive might and powerful creative will. Going from a lifeless life to one infused with the living God is going to be night and day.
I get this feeling that deciding on my own is not the right thing to do, given everything that's said about choosing not to decide, not doing it all on your own, etc. So then I feel torn.
But what I then see is that really, when I am in a state of indecision, fear, doubt, etc I am really not in a state of decisiveness. I probably am trying to decide, but I am not being decisive. And my attempts to decide are really delaying mechanisms to avoid the certainty of decision. In this state, I'm not really making any decisions at all anyway.
Pretty much every time Jesus says "decide", I am in a state of fear and self-doubt. I recognize then that staying in this state is not going to bring about any kind of decision, and if I want to become decisive, I have to get out of the fear.
Sometimes then, I will remark to Jesus that I don't know what to decide, and He will say, "you know". As I pull myself out of the fear and become more dynamic, more certain, more sure of myself, I then automatically feel more decisive and knowing and sure of what it is that I will do.
Then I have to even put aside this idea that I don't already know - that I even need to decide, and stop for a minute to become aware of what it is that I know already.
If I already know, a decision is not needed. If I already know, then I don't need to even get into the fearful drama of "not knowing" what to do. Then, somewhere deep inside, I tune into what it is that I know, and in this there is an acceptance, a peace and a clarity that makes it much more obvious what to do.
Usually knowing is covered up by all kinds of faffing about, doubting, fearing, drama, control, thinking, etc. None of it is really needed because it's actually all a distraction away from knowing. I can't know what to do when I'm choosing to be in a state of not-knowing. Seems so simple, but easy to get lost in.
As I go forward, and as I embark on new endeavors led by trusting Jesus etc, I find myself coming up against fears and concerns I didn't have to face before. Yet each step of the way He guides me to trust, to know, to put aside fear, and to recognize the ways that I am undermining my own certainty and decisiveness. In other words, learning to claim and work in a more empowered state of confidence.
I am finding that the more I am willing to put aside the dishonest toys of fear and self-sabotage, the more I am growing in confidence and strength and certainty. Also fear is reducing, people are growing ever-more approachable, and procrastination is melting.
This is how we gradually move into action. This is how we get off the fence and become truly helpful. And this is how we let go of the dependency on the ego as our guide as to how we should waste time.
We need to learn to be truly decisive, certain, knowing and trusting, before we might become actually willing to allow God to guide and direct us in all that we do. This somehow is tied into becoming willing to do His Will, and to follow Jesus's direction. But in a partnership of mutual agreement.
Fear is really resistance to what is. It's an attack on what is. It's a desire to make what is go away. It's the feeling you have when you a refusing to receive something. Per the golden rule, giving and receiving are one. If you refuse to receive, you also refuse to give.
Not giving is hateful and separating and selfish. Fear becomes a repression of self and others, a murderous attempt to destroy. Fear is a desire to separate and hold back and hold extension within and not extend God. It's what it feels like to want to not give anything, in order to try to not get anything, and it results in a sense of emptiness and lack and weakness and frailty, of vulnerability and limitation and eventually paralysis. As if you have nothing left to stand up to anything with and are overpowered (by your projected power).
Fear is the opposite of love because it is what you get when you try to deny the golden rule. If you are not willing to give, you will get a lack of love back, and it will appear as danger and threat and something you do not want. By giving "I don't want to", you receive things that you do not want, and they seem to loom over you as something you don't want. And the more you don't want them the worse it gets.
Fear is the ego's problem solving solution, the way by which it says you are "protected" from what you're getting. But really it's an attempt to be protected from receiving God. Fear is a defence against God and against love. It is an attack on love and is vicious and victimising, which is why it also appears like a victim role. Giving and receiving are one. If you give victimisation you get victimisation. Ego is really a fearful idea and is very afraid.
The antidote to fear is always through trust development and giving love. Love has to be extended in order to be received. Its safety comes to you as you give it away. In the extension of love there is no fear because you are only giving love and so are only receiving love. It is the way out of hell.
Resisting what-is represses your being and your presence. Resistance is fear and what you resist persists, because what you give you receive. When you stop resisting what happens you are saying "yes" to it rather than "no". This yes embraces it with full attention and presence, which actually counter-intuitively makes you feel stronger and more safe. It's how you shine your light, and that light dispels darkness, makes fear go away, and heals.
Strangely enough, what you are afraid of you are not really letting happen. It's the resistance to it that makes it difficult to deal with. And it would seem insane to fully embrace it, because the ego would suggest if you do that you will get more of it and will be consumed by it - why would anyone in their right mind want to go towards the thing they are fearing?
But when you confront it head-on without resisting it and just sit with it and watch it, radiating your fuller presence toward it, it becomes transmuted into love. Because then you are giving love and seeing from love. The thing you are confronting then starts to disappear and is shone away, healed away, by the presence of your mind and the extension of power. Dropping resistance increases exposure and darkness cannot remain in the light.