In many areas of life at the moment, Holy Spirit's guidance to me is to "try".

I have seen in many ways how I stop myself or don't do something, on the basis of the ego's justifications, which basically goes like this:

"I don't think I know how to do that, so I won't"

However, the way Holy Spirit's mind works, the act of "attempting" to do something is actually an act of faith, which only needs to be a "little willingness" to START, to just TRY to do it.

The reason is that as you begin to try to do something, a FLOW starts to happen, Heaven comes to support you, you become receptive to guidance, and you get help. But you don't get the help UNTIL YOU TRY.

An insight here is that your WILLINGNESS TO TRY to represent God, is an invitation for God to enter and support you, to heal through you, and this is how you ASK or "PRAY" and how you receive what you asked for.

So you have to overcome the "I don't know how, so I won't", and turn that into "I don't know how, but I trust Holy Spirit to help me, so I will try".

This actually has a lot to do with learning to work miracles.

Miracles require that you be trusting God/Spirit to work through you, support you, guide you, direct you, in a very spontaneous state of trust/faith, where you simply show up to "do God's bidding"... .ie God's will. It requires you to make yourself available and just be empty and open to receive, and just go along with it, even if you have no idea what's going to happen.

So we have to learn this difficult lesson, of stopping relying on the ego's huge body of thought and learning and information, or the ability to intellectually "figure out on your own" everything you need. We have to shift into a mode of fluid, trust-based willingness to extend God's truth. And there is not really anything the ego can do to prepare you for this.

It takes a lot of BALLS, or guts, in a way, to have COURAGE, to have the confidence to just step up and "do it" with a sense of believing that it simply is going to work out WHEN you do, even if you have NO CLUE how that's going to happen up-front.

That sense of certainty, of dependency on Higher Help, to just go out there and step into the shoes or the role and just fly by the seat of your pants, not alone and frightened to hell (because you will fail if you try to do this with the ego), but based on a deep trust in being supported SUPERNATURALLY if you do so, will lead to miracles.

You have to show up and fulfill your function, in order for Heaven to help you to fulfill that function. It really does take a leap of faith, stepping into the UNKNOWN, stepping into the spontaneous state of trust and being in the moment and not premeditating or practicing or rehearsing or learning ahead of time. Just being flexible and free and WILLING to be used by God.

This is why you often see people doing miracles on the streets where they just go up to total strangers and offer a prayer and just start doing it and Jesus/Holy Spirit show up and people get healed. That takes some pretty major faith/trust that that supernatural help is going to be there. You can't fake it, either. It won't work if you don't "believe" ie have come to believe the truth of God.

The truth of God is that God wants to heal immediately right now and is totally ready to do so right now. It's only you not stepping into the ROLE of healer that is holding the miracles back. This is how Jesus was able to just go around and spontaneously "miracle the shit out of everything." - you can quote me on that ;-) He had no preparation, no reliance on ego skills, He just trusted God really strongly and the support was right there because he got into a flow and was of service.

But if we don't even try to do something, thinking that we are relying entirely on ourselves only, and that we don't have the knowledge or ability, we have already failed. We're in a state of failure. And we know we will fail if we keep trusting only in our own strength. Which is fear. Fear will block miracles because its an attempt to trust only what you know and not what God knows, believing you are the source of miracles or that something about how you perform them gives them their power. All power is from God and can only be SHARED AND EXTENDED by you, and you must learn to trust it.

Once we do learn to get over our ego objections and "I can't so I won't", we'll get more into the miracle-working mindset and miracles will flow naturally. When these miracles aren't flowing, something has gone wrong.

In the ego mind, the mind is split, and so is your will. You have willed against yourself. So now your mind has more than one will in it, seeming to act in contradiction. You are at war with yourself.

So what happens now is, your will attempts to still "cause", but then this other opposing will also attempts to "cause", and the two of them are opposite each other in every way so this "cancels out" all of the possible effects.

It's like being constipated, or a stalemate. We literally basically STOP ourselves from willing anything at all. This is why we do not produce and EFFECTS. This is also why, in a split mind, it seems like we cannot have any power over the world or use the mind's power to make anything happen directly. We're stuck in a body that seems to be cut off from the environment and our mind seems totally powerless.

When the will is reunited as whole and is not divided against itself (no ego), the mind no longer has opposition. It is able to now be single minded and to will consistently in one direction. This unopposed will has the Power of God, to CAUSE, AND to produce effects. This unleashes the power of the mind to manifest. It was in this state that we originally made the universe appear.

This is also a key in miracle working. Miracles don't work in a spirit of fear, and fear comes from separation, meaning that if you are afraid that "the miracle wont work" or "the symptoms aren't going away" or "I don't trust this power" or "I don't think I can do this etc"... the perceived "things that would oppose success" are actually other aspects of YOUR OWN WILL in your own mind, in conflict with what you're trying to achieve.

This is why when the mind and will are split, there are no miracles happening. Something has gone wrong. The mind is literally believing in an opposing will which it thinks is "out there" or is alien to it or external to it. It is not. It's inside your mind. So when you are "against yourself", you are literally stopping your will, against your will. And so you cancel out the effects of what you try to make happen.

A mind which is whole does not even regard the current state of the world, appearances, how severe a problem seems, how big the challenge, whether it's healing a headache or moving a mountain. When the mind is clearly aware that it has ONE WILL, and there is no opposing will (because nothing happens against your will, therefore everything happens BY your will).... it is more like... an artist painting new brushstrokes. The canvas does not resist the paint. There is nothing stopping an entirely new projection from happening. What was there before has NO POWER to stop the effects from showing up.

This is why in miracle working you do not "ask" stuff to go away or be healed. That is evidence that you believe there is a will opposing yours (physical matter? sickness? causes?) which has the power to stop you, therefore you have to "ask permission" for it to change. That's not how miracles happen.

Also you will find it's useful to "command" that something change. If you are certain and authoritative and whole-minded/loving enough, it must comply. But the fact is, you're ultimately not even commanding a "separate thing" to change. In your truest nature, you simply EXPRESS. You CREATE. Stuff just comes out of you joyfully and, if that means making forms, then the forms just instantly show up and materialize. Not because you asked them to, but because you simply created them.

To work miracles we must UNDO all belief that there is any cause in the world, any power over you, any alien will, any separate strength or reason or order of difficult that suggests "it might not work because" or "thats too big a challenge" or "it appears to much a problem."

I'm reminded of star wars, where Luke is being taught by Yoda, and believes he cannot lift the spaceship from the swamp because "its too big". That's the hierarchy of illusions. Yoda then demonstrated that size does not matter. Effectively he was demonstrating the miracle-working power of the mind.

In this world, everything which is held to be most true and cherished is actually the most false, fake thing imaginable.

It will be considered highly controversial and even insensitive and deranged to suggest, for example, that every victim wants to suffer. That even victim is an attacker, attempting to prove that others are sinful and who are using suffering as a way to condemn everyone else.

It would also be considered controversial to say that everyone who is sick is actually attacking everyone else with sickness and is using it to prove that others are sinful. That every sickness is a lie, and every sickness is an attempt to hurt other people.

It will especially be considered controversial to say that death is always chosen, that people who die apparently through absolutely no choice of their own, really really really wanted to be dead, want to destroy everyone else, and want God to be dead as well. How about that?

How about the fact that every victim is a victimizer who attacks others with their mind, or that people who are suffering the most are the most attacking of others? Or that people who complain are professional attackers? Or that people in fear and victimhood are the most toxic?

Those who are in the illusory position of being the LEAST likely to be thought of as vicious or a victimizer or the cause of anything bad whatsoever, are those who actually are the MOST murderous and the most "evil".

How about innocent babies who are victimized, surely they didn't come here to deny their unconscious guilt and portray themselves as completely innocent in order for nobody to ever suspect they are the one who attacked God?

The world would find these truths to be absolutely outrageous, even offensive, and downright upsetting to the average ego mind. People will react with ego defensiveness and denial and even hatred. You can lose friends and family over it.

We live in a world of tremendous illusion, a world filled with horrifying lies and PROFOUND pretense that those to whom bad things happen are the least likely to be the cause of those things happening. It is absolutely backwards to the truth of God. This is why the truth is so incredibly radical and often so difficult to accept.

What about people who are afraid, who are actually making an attempt to attack others and find them to be the cause of fear, so that they can have a great opportunity to justify anger and retaliation and murder?

What about people who seem to march for freedom and carry banners and go up again inhumane treatment and animal rights, who make suffering real and want to keep it in order to accuse others of being wrong, so that they will be assuaged of their hidden crime of killing God?

Or those who implement security measures in order to "protect freedom", while simultaneously implementing imprisonment on a a mass scale? Or people who create "antivirus" software who actively focus on and amplify the need to become a better hacker thus producing even more vicious viruses? Or how about all the so-called "treatments" that are applied through medicine and pharmacies which allegedly help but end up with worse side effects and increase the overall death rate because they don't really work?

Every thought and belief and value that your ego holds as truth and important is going to be completely overturned by the Real Truth of God, which is going to rub this world completely the wrong way. It goes entirely against the grain. It is not welcome here. And as you side with it, you may not be welcome here either.

Do you think Jesus had a lot of support? He really did not. People weren't ready or willing, not even most of the disciples. Their egos did not and could not accept the truth.

You might find yourself also at odds with what other people interpret the truth to be, and will constantly have to be pulling back from your ego allegiances in order to be true to yourself and true to the consistency of the Truth that is emerging in your mind. Eventually you may seem to stand alone against the entire world, with few willing to listen to anything you say. You are not likely to be popular with the ego mind's of this world.

But would you rather be ego, or be happy?

"Real choice is no illusion. But the world has none to offer."

Whenever you are presented with a choice in this world, you'll find it always entails an impossible situation. It's not "you" that is making choices difficult, it is the nature of the world.

"It is the world you see that is impossible."

Option A will offer something which seems to be mostly what you want, but it will lack something.

Option B may have what the other lacks, and offer something it doesn't have.

But in all cases, you will never find two choices which offer exactly everything. Or even one.

This fundamentally makes for an impossible situation, in which you are torn. You cannot feel a sense of total certainty regardless of which one you choose.

If you choose A, you know you'll be missing out on something. If you choose B, you know you'll be missing out on something.

The thing is, with our egos, we actually believe that there is a "perfect choice" in this world. That its possible to find the exact perfect something, be it an item you're buying, or a person to relate with, or a place to hang out, or a tv show to watch, or whatever.

But there is nothing perfect in this world. This world is based on separation, which requires that nothing be whole, nothing be perfect, and everything be only partially anything.

Often then you'll find that if you are seeking the perfect choice, you will feel flrustrated, uncertain, doubtful, mis-trusting, not sure whether to go with this or that.

Option A seems to tantilize you with its offferings, but you know it's flawed. And option B seems to offer something of its own. Even if you have both, they still would lack something. But you can't decide, because neither of them seems to "do it all".

Sometimes, depending on if you lower your standards, or are open to compromise, or don't mind some shortcomings, or can live with the absence of certain features etc, you'll allow yourself to use this adjustment of attitude as a way to "settle" for one of the options. And you might talk yourself into that being satisfactory. Even though you know deep down it is less than ideal.

This in a way seems to give you a sense of less stress or more sanity, but it's only an illusion. Settling for the fact that the situation is an impossible choice, and then trying to justify why its okay that it's impossible, and settling for a compromise, is not really attaining perfection. So you make do.

And so once again, the world comes up short, and it offers you less than what you want, and it can never please you fully, never totally satisfy you, and is always disappointing.

"All its roads but lead to disappointment, nothingness and death. There IS no choice in its alternatives."

Looking at this clearly, you can recognize that any choice to be made between illusions, will always be fundamentally impossible, incomplete and less than ideal. If you seek for the ideal you will be disappointed and lost and frustrated and disillusioned.

If you can accept that the world is fundamentally flawed and you cannot have everything here, accepting the fact that every option is less than whole, less than total life, and thus an idea of death, maybe you can choose on a more practical basis and just go with the devil you know, or the lesser of two evils.

There is no perfect choice in the world because the world was made in an effort to reject perfection and to offer no real choice. It is an assertion that you have no choice, that death is inevitable, and there is no alternative.

But there is a real choice. There is a perfect choice. That is, to choose NOT this world, and to instead choose the TRUE perfection of the Kingdom. God's world is the only world that offers you a total lack of compromise, total satisfaction, complete wholeness and perfect completion. There is no lack or frustration or impossibility or pointlessness in its offering.

To choose God again is to make a choice FOR perfection, which is a perfect choice. And it is the only choice that is perfect, when made. All other choosing is imperfect and unholy. And only a choice for holiness can bring you what you want.

"This world holds nothing that I want."

"It takes great learning to both recognize and accept that this world has nothing to give."

"What you find difficult to accept is the fact that, LIKE your Father, YOU are an idea. And like Him, YOU can give yourself COMPLETELY, wholly without loss, and ONLY WITH GAIN."

When giving and receiving are seen as separate, you will believe that your brother gives something to you without giving it to themselves. That they escape from the effects of what they cause.

You will also believe that you are receiving something that you did not give. This is perceived as an attack against your will. If you did not give it, you have not asked for it, and yet have received it, so you do not want it.

If we are in any kind of perception where it seems like we are receiving something - being at the effect of - others or anything in the world or body, it's because we believe there is a separation between giving and receiving.

You cannot receive without giving, in truth. But ego is the idea of separation between cause and effect, or father and creation. If cause escapes from its effects it does not receive what it gives, and so "gets away with murder" by being able to do something without experiencing the consequences.

The ego then really is nothing more than a logical premise that you are separate, and every other conclusion that you come to is based on that. If you are separate, what you give and receive are separate. And who you give and receive them to/from are separate.

If you are separate, it makes perfect logical sense that you should not give, otherwise you will fail to receive what you have given, and therefore will lose it. No-one would consider it to make sense to give when they see themselves as standing to lose in the deal.

The ego or "a sense of self based on the assumption that you are separate", only appears to be selfish, or having unshared self-interests, because it makes perfect sense to do so. If separation is true, you should and cannot share with anyone, and therefore must hoard everything, or you'll end up with nothing.

People being egotistical will therefore automatically and quite "naturally" attempt to keep everything for themselves, and will be unloving, only because it makes sense to them. They recognize that giving is a loss and a sacrifice, so it works against them to give anything away freely.

This simply means that such a person is mistaken, because what they believe about themselves - that they are separate - is false. It isn't a sin, therefore, to be selfish, it is just a mistake based on a false premise. ie it's completely understandable why we'd want to claim private possession of everything if it's true that we are fundamentally a non-shared identity.

All we then need to do, which sounds simple enough, is transition from a sense of being separate, to a sense of being joined. This is nothing more than a shift in premise from "I am separated off" to "I am one with". From what appears to be a state of selfishness, to a state of sharing. From inequality to equality.

If the premise is that we are shared, our identity is shared (Christ), and we are each other (one), then it will make perfect logical sense to say that we CAN give everything away and still end up with everything. To have all, we can give all to all. And to have all, we should give all to all. This then means that if you DON'T give everything, you will have nothing.

So now it becomes in your own best interests to give love unconditionally all the time to everyone, because you recognize that this IS the ONLY WAY that you can receive it. To be included in the receipt of the love, you must be one with the receivers. And giving must not be seen as loss or sacrifice or deprivation, or any kind of a cost. What is seen as a cost is seen as a punishment.

If we are one, then what is mine literally is yours, and what is yours literally is mine. And because we share everything, the same everything belongs to both of us. And now no-one can lose anything at all.

Forgiveness reflects this truth that everything belongs to everyone, and therefore everyone loves everyone in order to receive everything. This reflects the nature of heaven, in which everything literally belongs to everyone simultaneously, and everything is shared - even your self.

"You had everything when you were created, just as everyone did."

"To give and to receive are one in truth."

"Here are both giving and receiving seen as different aspects of one Thought Whose truth does not depend on which is seen as first, nor which appears to be in second place."

"The unforgiving mind does not believe that giving and receiving are the same. Yet we will try to learn today that they are one through practicing forgiving toward one whom you think of as an enemy and one whom you consider as a friend."

"No-one can lose, and everyone MUST benefit. Each miracle is an example of what justice can accomplish, when it is offered to everyone alike. It is received and GIVEN equally. It IS awareness that giving and receiving ARE the same."

"the RECIPROCAL relationship of giving and RECEIVING will be recognized"

When you are in a mindset that tries to make the world real, it is a mindset of attempting to "make true" what is not really true.

It's the mindset of a seeker, or someone who is in denial of reality and wants to escape it. Such a mind will try to GIVE truth to an illusory world, to explain it, to describe it, to profess why and how it is true or what the truth of it is. Such a mind attempts to give a sense of reality and factuality to what is inherently unreal and artificial. Such a mind is not interested in giving up the world.

In such a mindset, you will be addicted to being the one who makes things true. Who gives reality to illusions. You will claim to be seeking the truth, but really you are not seeking the truth. You are trying to give the truth away, trying to displace it and pass it off and allocate it to something that is not true, so that it will not be recognizable.

Everyone with an ego is attempting to give the truth away. Trying to hand it over to untruth so that it is meaningless, and yet all done in the name of fervently seeking the truth. Such a mind tries to disown and give reality away, turning unreality into reality, in an attempt to deny that reality is real.

Being a truth maker means you are hell-bent on defining what the truth is, deciding what it is, and always having to have the truth be verified by your egoic understanding. Your so-called precious "opinion" is not worth anything. You're not really interested in what the truth IS, only in what YOU make of it. And so you are not really willing to accept or know the truth, only to REPLACE it with an interpretation of your own.

When there is a lack of surrender to the truth, or a lack of acceptance of its inescapable, predefined, absolute, factual nature, a person will exhibit many signs of seeking EXTERNALLY for the truth, and also signs of both deciding what is true and attempting to form a "complete picture" of the truth composed of their understanding.

They will attempt to exalt their ego to spiritual heights, claiming that they are accumulating or accessing the highest of truths, when in fact it is really the spiritualized ego attempting to create an ILLUSION of truth. Such illusions of truth can be difficult traps to avoid.

Much surrendering is needed in order to let go of all of the ways that you are trying to MAKE the truth be what you think it should be. You are trying to tell God what God is, to redefine Him in YOUR likeness. Your idea about what the truth is may not be what the truth is. Your "best guess" is not fact.

God is the truth and the truth about God is the only truth there is. There is no other truth. You cannot change this fact. There is nothing you can ever do to change this. Your only choice is either to accept it and share in it, OR to go into denial and pretend that something else is more true. Even if you can demonstrate to yourself clearly that something else is true - such as bodies or worlds - it still won't change the fact that you are still in DENIAL. You will remain in denial forever until you choose to accept God's truth.

God's truth cannot be defeated. It is immortal. It is everlasting. It is not up for question. It has no properties that waver or are undecided. It is permanently real and absolutely immovable. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change God's mind about you, and there is nothing you can do to ACTUALLY undo or harm God's reality. It is FIXED like a rock.

This is also fortunate, for you, because it means that even though you're in denial, and don't want to accept God's truth, preferring your own version of reality, once you do finally surrender and accept God's unequivocal truth, God will still be just the same as He ever was. The love will still be unconditional, God will still see you the same, God will still welcome and accept you fully without rejection, and not a single note in heaven's song will have been skipped.

Heaven's song hasn't skipped a note because the illusory separation from God did not interrupt Heaven, it merely attempted to replace it through denial, and being denial it was not ACTUALLY replaced at all, but merely blocked from awareness. Heaven is the same as ever and always will be, because God Created it in order for YOU to have an eternal home to return to, when you're done with your insane game of separation.

Give up your truth. Let God in. Let yourself be loved. Surrender your false beliefs in sin and guilt and fear and death. Only the truth is true. And because only the truth is true, nothing else can have ever happened but the truth. All else must be an illusion and must not exist. The permanence of God proves there can be no separation from reality. Your attempts to make up your own idea of the truth is an attempt to separate yourself from reality.

Still God loves you.

People are all different. One of the most harmful aspects of this ego world is the attempt to make everyone the same and gloss over their differences. This is the ego's attempt to pretend that 'everything is ok' and 'we are all equal' as a form of denial and repression. It thus leads to people feeling like they have to 'pretend that they agree', when around individuals who are different.

For me, for example, I am an introverted person. That means I am more independent from society and social interactions and tend to be more sensitive and introspective. What seems 'natural' for me is quite different to what is natural for extroverted people. When the two worlds collide there is almost always a sense of tension and miscommunication and people-pleasing and dishonesty and lack of authenticity

For years and years I always felt compelled to have to try to 'be like others', or fit in, or just automatically accept sociable situations, as if not doing so was wrong and anti-social. This I think is largely because more extroverted people `push` sociability as though it is normal and exalted (especially with the whole idol worship/celebrity/hollywood ideals). But what is ideal for them is not ideal for me. Layers and layers of guilt and shame have had to be released and healed to come to feel that it is `ok` to be truer to my personality and my own standards and that I do not 'have to' just go along with other people.

The main area I experience this is in social interactions especially with strangers or where more sociable people are engaged. Just even the mere fact that people decide to suddenly stop and connect and converse is to me an uninvited intrusion, and due to my sensitivity I experience it as jumping ahead several steps in the amount of `trust` or depth of connection I would need to establish first. It's especially difficult around people that I think of as - social bloodsuckers - the people who suddenly decide to include themselves and involve themselves and start yacking on about themselves, especially filled with complaining and other forms of social attention-seeking, as a way to kind of `hold me hostage`. I want to tell them to shut the fuck up and leave me alone and stop invading my space.

So you can see that if you are different in some fundamental ways, whichever side of the fence you fall on, it can really produce a lot of tension and conflict, either externally or internally. That discomfort makes it feel like it's not okay to be the way you are or its not normal or its not acceptable, and that can lead to profound shame and emotional pain.

The term 'painfully shy' can arise for introverted people quite easily and the pain actually comes from social embarrassment, a lack of social prowess, troubles speaking (at all), troubles finding things to engage about conversationally (to even have the mental thoughts that lead to conversation), not belonging or fitting in, feeling inadequate socially and thus as a person, feeling lacking and insufficient and defective, feeling unheard (because more extroverted people actually don't connect at the same depth as introverted people - they are shallow and enjoy social-lies rather than truth), etc... this all can add up to a tremendous sense of 'being attacked' (either internally or by others) and that produces profound emotional pain. I suffered with that for years and years thinking it was not okay to be the way I am.

Gradually, and this is thanks in large part to A Course in Miracles and other healing and loving support, I've been learning two things - how to be more comfortable being the way I am - at least in terms of personality and needs - and consequently, being more comfortable to be around people and converse. The `opening up` of the Course has helped me to heal from 'social torture' to a large degree and to feel more confident in being `myself`. Even if that means just being my ego self more authentically. Because that authenticity is a doorway to my True Self.

Being true to yourself no matter what your `self` is, is empowering. And it also has helped me to learn healthier boundaries, that I don't have to people-please, that I can just walk away from people when I don't want to be social, that I'm not `held captive` by anyone's need for attention or domination, and generally an overall sense of ... greater peace, I suppose. These weren't necessarily goals I had with the Course but it has definitely healed to bring about healing in these areas, to remove fear and inhibitions, and to build a deeper connection of trust - and yet personal power - when interacting with others.

I don't know what kind of a moron I am in the eyes of extroverted people. I must come across as some kind of inept antisocial lifeless idiot or something. I have more to learn about how the majority of society functions. This is why it is very hard for me to envisage ever standing in front of some audience and giving a speech or being a highly visible public figure. Jesus has me doing things on a much lower-key and more behind closed doors, lol. Whatever your style is though, I'm just glad to finally be feeling a sense of RELIEF from years of torment and misery trying to be something I'm not, and I hope extroverted people can also learn they don't have to be like those annoying, antisocial, holier-than-thou, wimpy introverts ;-)

There is, as always, a paradox - the truer you are to yourself and to how you are different, not trying to pretend you are the same, actually allows you to become inter-dependent and open to true communication, understanding and compassion. And that is joining. Everyone has their gifts and talents. Let's celebrate how our differences can be acknowledged so that we can all experience peace. Political correctness out the window - we need to embrace who we are (even as an ego) in order to let others be who they are, in order to accept others and not be insensitive to their differences.

Thank you Jesus!

It is very important in the development of trust, that we learn to make room for SPIRIT in our lives and hand over the responsibility for decision making to the Holy Spirit. This means ASKING the Holy Spirit WHAT TO DO. And this includes even in small matters which seem very specific. Just because the matters are small does not mean that you are not advanced.

We are asked to hand over all decision with increasing frequency, allowing him "to decide for God for me." Which means we have to talk to him and we have to listen to his response. We have to open up to trusting and being willing to RECEIVE GUIDANCE. And we have to learn to TRUST this guidance, seeing that it works, seeing that it is always for the best, seeing that it is never harmful, and seeing that it CAN BE trusted. Thus we develop trust.

By giving him all decision making it also absolves us of guilt, because then we are simply following his WISER advice. Part of this is because our attempts to judge anything correctly are heavily flawed and ego-driven because we can't see the big picture and we don't have access to all the variables. We are meant to relinquish judgement, which means we then can't know what anything means, or what to do, or where to go, or how to act. And thus we have to ASK FOR HELP. And our egos really do not want to give up control.

This is an absolute vital and required practice as part of doing this course. We must learn to trust the Holy Spirit in ALL THINGS, and turn to his advice ESPECIALLY in serious and difficult decisions, decisions about health, about life and death even, as well as what's for dinner and which way to go on a walk or which item to buy at the store. ALL THINGS, ALL decisions. Deep trust and handing over of ego autonomy and trusting in your own strength.

It is not only perfectly acceptable AND curriculum-aligned to seek for spiritual guidance, it is in fact what Jesus WANTS us to do. And that includes getting guidance from Jesus and the Holy Spirit, using it, AND sharing it with others to help them. It is a sign of spiritual maturity to do this because it means you're having true humility and are willing to serve God's will.

My wife was in the ICU for the second time, having been oxygen deprived, and was being declared more or less brain dead by the doctor, who told me to my face that she would never recover. She wasn't breathing well and he said we might as well let her die. I however did not trust this advice. The man seemed like the devil incarnate to me, certainly skilled in his profession but still an ego.

I instead sought the Holy Spirit and Jesus to decide for me and tell me what to do, knowing that I myself COULD NOT. I trusted their advice MORE than anyone. Their advice was to "resurrect her". And because of that, I made the decision that she would NOT be terminated and that we would wait.

In the next few days I did my praying and affirming and attempts to heal and so on, whether it helped or not I do not know. But a few days later, she began to wake up. The doctor at first accused me of lying when I told him she'd been trying to communicate. He was rather arrogant that he knew better and that it was impossible. He was completely convinced she would never recover.

But when they tried leaving off the sedation she suddenly came around and was talking. And a couple weeks later she was back at home to continue living. Had I listened to the advanced educated human ego advice of the chief doctor, she would've been put to death. Because Jesus told me what to do, and because I trusted it, she lived.

"ALL miracles mean Life, and God is the giver of Life. He will direct you VERY specifically."

"Remembering this, let us devote the remainder of the extended practice period to asking God to reveal His plan to us. Ask Him very specifically:

"What would you have me do?" Where would You have me go? What would You have me say, and to whom?"

"There is another advantage,- and a very important one, - in referring decisions to the Holy Spirit with increasing frequency. Perhaps you have not thought of this aspect, but its centrality is obvious. To follow the Holy Spirit's guidance is to let yourself be absolved of guilt. It is the essence of the Atonement. It is the core of the curriculum. "

"Leave ALL decisions to the One Who speaks for God, and for your function as He KNOWS it. So will He teach you to remove the awful burden you have laid upon yourself, by loving not the Son of God, and trying to teach him guilt INSTEAD of love."

"When you have learned how to decide WITH God, ALL decisions become as easy and as right as breathing. There is no effort, and you will be led as gently, as if you were being carried along a quiet path in summer. "

"Make no decisions about what it is, or where it lies, but ask of the Holy Spirit EVERYTHING, and leave ALL decisions to His gentle counsel. The One Who knows the plan, of God which God would have you follow, can teach you what it IS. Only His wisdom is capable of guiding you to follow it. Every decision you undertake alone but signifies that you would define what Salvation is, and what you would be saved FROM. "

"You do not realize how much you hate each other. You will not get rid of this until you DO realize it, for UNTIL then, you will think you want to get rid of EACH OTHER and KEEP THE HATRED."

In the past couple of weeks, I've been having some hatred coming out for release. It's from deep in the past. But I did not recognize it as hatred. I was too "in it", feeling it. I had no idea what it was, only that everyone seemed responsible for it.

I kept flip-flopping between what it felt like and how it was making me perceive, and what was more of my "current" way of perceiving. But it was hard to maintain this. I kept falling back into it.

It felt like an intense form of separation, and of accusation. It seemed sharper and stronger than just anger. It felt vicious and hurt and blameful. It took several days of going through it before Jesus clued me in that it was even hate, because I couldn't tell what it was.

When you're angry at some person you're trying to make them guilty, yet there's some form of desiring that they stop being "wrong" mixed in with that. Hatred on the other hand is a bit more like just pure despising. It's almost like the reason why you were angry gets buried and all you're left with is a concentrated hatred of a person. It's almost like sin's reflection.

Each time that waves of this stuff came up, I would feel extremely scapegoaty. Just really convinced that the person was just evil and wrong and bad. Just like a passive observation, but quite strong in actively condemning them. This then started to overflow into how I was relating to everyone. There was just this constant forceful pushing of blame all the time regardless of who I was relating with.

You might have noticed that I made several posts recently where I was sounding fed up with people, accusing people, tired of people, resentful of idiots, annoyed at people not being willing to listen or learn, angry at their fixed nature and stubbornness etc. This isn't really like me, but I couldn't help but keep moving into blame because the feeling of hate coming up was so accusatory. It was making me see everyone as wrong.

The hate was seemingly based on what I saw as what someone did to me, seeming to inspire revenge or a justification for "why" I should hate them. A viciousness that seemed to make sense. It felt like an extreme form of dissociation and ego and specialness, as well. It was driven by unhealed "hurt" and a definite "you did this to me" kind of mentality of victimhood.

I'm glad to say that now that this is mostly cleared out, my perceptions and evaluations are returning to a much more forgiving place. But it was a pretty deep dip in the road. Jesus talks in the course about just how intense our "hidden hates" really are, how much we blame and accuse. What we don't realize is that it's really ourselves that we're hating, at the same time. I certainly found it extremely difficult to feel loving or forgiving while feeling hate. It is just not possible to remain in a peaceful or happy state of mind with such things going on.

"No-one who hates but is afraid of love, and therefore MUST he be afraid of God."

"Let me not think that I can find the way to God if I have hatred in my heart."

"Your hatred is not real, But it is real to you. IT HIDES WHAT YOU REALLY WANT."

"If hatred finds a place within your heart, you will perceive a fearful world, held cruelly in death's sharp-pointed, bony fingers."

"It is in the special relationship, born of the hidden wish for special love from God, that the ego's hatred triumphs. "Look once again upon your enemy, the one you chose to hate instead of love. For thus was hatred born into the world, and thus the rule of fear established here."

"When hatred rests upon a thing, it calls for death as surely as God's Voice proclaims there is no death."

"It fears and it attacks and hates itself, and darkness covers everything it sees, leaving it dreams as fearful as itself. No miracles are here, but only hate. It separates itself from what it sees, while light and strength perceive themselves as one."

"And thus will all the vestiges of hell, the secret sins and hidden hates be gone, and all the loveliness which they concealed appear like lawns of Heaven to our sight, to lift us high above the thorny roads we travelled on before the Christ appeared."

"This level cannot be attained until there is no hatred in your heart, and no desire to attack the Son of God."

"The holiest of all the spots on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love."

"What hatred has released to love becomes the brightest light in Heaven's radiance."

"Do not let your hatred stand in the way of love, for NOTHING can withstand the love of Christ for His Father, or His Father's love for Him."

"You have projected outward what IS antagonistic to what is inward, and therefore you would HAVE to perceive it this way. That is why you MUST realize that your hatred IS in your mind, and NOT OUTSIDE IT, before you can get rid of it. And why you MUST get rid of it, BEFORE you can perceive the world as it really is."

Denial itself is a defense, but it can be used positively or negatively. In its negative use it is used to deny God, reality, truth. In its positive use, it is used to deny the denial of truth, to deny ego, to deny illusions and unreality.

The entire separation from God is simple a misuse of denial. Blocks to awareness are denials of what is true in God. The ego is nothing but denial of reality. All sickness and death are denials. The world is the denial of heaven. Bodies are the denial of the soul. The opposite of denial is acceptance - ie the acceptance of the truth and reality of God - the atonement.

Here are some interesting quotes about how we use denial in the wrong way, in support of ego and in denying God, reality, and truth....

"Denial of Life perceives its opposite, as ALL forms of denial replace what IS, with what is NOT. No-one can really DO this, but that you can THINK you can, and BELIEVE YOU HAVE, is beyond dispute."

"It is the DENIAL of the spark that brings depression, and whenever you see your brothers WITHOUT it, you ARE denying God."

"Allegiance to the denial of God is the ego's religion. The god of sickness obviously demands the denial of health, because health is in direct opposition to its own survival."

"Arrogance is the denial of love, because love shares and arrogance withholds."

"What makes this world seem real except your own denial of the truth which lies beyond?"

"For the separation is only the DENIAL of union, and, correctly interpreted, attests to your eternal knowledge that union is true."

"Miracles are merely the translation of denial into truth. If to love oneself is to HEAL oneself, those who are sick do NOT love themselves. Therefore, they are asking for the love that would heal them, but which they are DENYING TO THEMSELVES. If they knew the truth about themselves, they could not be sick. The task of the miracle-worker thus becomes to DENY THE DENIAL OF TRUTH."

"Projection arises out of FALSE DENIAL."

"But in every hurtful thought you hold, wherever you perceive it, lies the denial of God's Fatherhood and your Sonship."

"Your denial made no change in what you are. But you have split your mind into what knows and does not know the truth."

"Accepting His Son as guilty is denial of the Father so complete, that knowledge is swept away from recognition, in the very mind where God Himself has placed it."

"YOUR denial of reality precludes ACCEPTANCE of God's gift, BECAUSE YOU HAVE ACCEPTED SOMETHING ELSE IN ITS PLACE."

"Guilt hides Christ from your sight, for it is the denial of the blamelessness of God's Son."

"Denial of light leads to failure to perceive it. Failure to perceive light is to perceive darkness."

"That is why the ego IS the denial of free will."

"Denial is NOT mere negation. It is a positive miscreation. While the miscreation is NECESSARILY believed in by its own creator, it does not exist at all at the level of true Creation."

"The mind can make the belief in Separation VERY real and VERY fearful. And this belief IS the devil. It is powerful, active, destructive, and clearly in opposition to God, because it literally denies His Fatherhood. Never underestimate the power of this denial. Look at your lives and see what the devil has made."

"Yet this is what denial DOES, for BY it you ACCEPT insanity, believing you can make a private world, AND RULE YOUR OWN PERCEPTION. But FOR this, light MUST be excluded."

"Being made out of the denial of the Father, the ego has no allegiance to its own Maker."

"In the darkness you have obscured the glory God gave you, and the power that He bestowed upon His guiltless Son. All that, lies hidden in every darkened place shrouded in guilt, and in the dark denial of innocence."

"For eternity is NOT regained by still one more denial of the Christ in him."

"And therefore those who look on sin ARE seeing the DENIAL of the real world."

"This is not difficult to realize in some forms which these self-deceptions take, for the denial of reality is very obvious."

"Can the ego teach truly, when it overlooks truth? Can it perceive what it has DENIED? Its witnesses DO attest to its DENIAL, but hardly to WHAT it has denied. The ego looks straight at the Father and does not see Him, for it has denied His Son."

"This is a very primitive solution, and has led to a denial of the spiritual eye, which always depends on light."

"DENIAL of the error results in projection."