Sometimes I find it difficult to relate when people suggest that you "just" do this or that, in order to be awakened or spiritual.

Even if it's coming from a masterful person and even if it makes total sense and even if its deeply simple and pure and lovely, I can't relate to it or use it.

Expressions coming from a certain 'level 'of consciousness can only really be related to by people who are also AT that level of consciousness. Those broadcasts are NOT helpful for people at a lower level, except as perhaps an inspiration. There's a big difference between an expression of "this is what it is like here" versus "this is how you come up to this level".

The reason is because the 'level' that I'm currently at, I need ways to remove the blocks to awareness in order to become aware of a truth/love/experience that "already is".

I don't need to work on learning how to 'do' what is already done. I don't need to practice 'being'. I don't need to TRY to be still or quiet or meditative or whatever.

The Course tells us that we need to focus on simply removing the blocks to love. This is akin to severing the anchors which keep us attached to the bottom of the ocean, dragging us down. Once let go, we naturally float back to the surface.

This to me can be a problem with teachings coming from a higher level. They can be impractical and not really helpful. They sound fantastic. They're beautiful. And they're truthful expressions from a greater perspective. But they're not always relatable for people who are stuck down in the quagmire of illusions and delusions.

We don't need to construct reality, or make things heavenly, or spend heaps of time trying to produce some kind of skill or ability to be what we naturally already are underneath our disguises. We just need to learn to take our disguises off. And that process is a practical one in the application of forgiveness or other methods to undo delusions.

I could say, well, just be still, be at peace, stop thinking. But that's not going to last. You're not going to be able to do it. And then it will just be annoying and you'll feel like you're inferior for not being able to just flip spirituality on like a switch.

This can be why the spiritual quotathon can produce not only a sense of confusion and impossible expectation, but also attempts to give to students things they are not ready for and which don't really help them to get out of their confusion. If things are too abstract, the only way you can really relate to that abstraction is to be experiencing it. There needs to be more of a middle ground.

This is why often you get teachers who are perhaps awakened on like "level 3" or whatever but they don't have a practical "level 2" teaching platform that helps people to go from where they are actually at to their next steps. To move them forward. And then the things they say which are so beautiful and lofty sort of make them into a mysterious yet inaccessible idol that becomes worshipped and followed in a state of confusion and misunderstanding.

If I go visit God and I come back and I say, well, hey, all you have to do is be with God. Easy right? Can you do it? Then you'll try to do it and you'll fail, then get frustrated and disappointed and believe separation is real and you'll beat yourself up and compare yourself and judge yourself as insufficient, unworthy or inferior, which is the perfect foundation for turning me into a spiritual idol that you worship. You don't need that.

You need guidance that you can relate to that works for you at the level you're at, in the language you currently are speaking, that nudges you forward just a little bit past your current reality, and leads you on to the next steps. That's how you gradually wake up. Not by hitting yourself over the head with a giant space mallet trying to digest things which your mind really cannot comprehend yet.

Trying to get ahead of yourself doesn't work. The ego likes to suggest you should do that, but then you end up just emphasizing how "far behind" you are from the special chosen ones. Not that the masters are in any way wrong or bad or whatever, just that if truly they're a helpful teacher they need to be recognizing where YOU are at and what YOU can currently understand and speak your language, not just sit on a throne and radiate abstract experiences as though this is "all you need to do". Yes its true, yes they're correct, but.... that advice is next to useless when your mind is fucked.

Gotta walk before you can run. Gotta learn to flap wings before you can fly. Gotta take steps to get to the temple before you can go in. You need help walking, not jumping off cliffs.

Holy Spirit is an expert teacher in this regard, He recognizes our illusions (as illusions) and doesn't believe them, but knows that we do, and is able to not only speak our language but support us at whatever level we're at with whatever guidance we're willing to accept and are ready for. One step at a time. Non-threatening, non-pressuring, just loving gentle awakening.

The truth is, while you value something and believe there is truth in it, you will not want to let it go. You're convinced other stuff is less true and is not what you want, and that you should protect what you have faith in. That's a reasonable attitude. Although what you believe might ultimately be false, Holy Spirit is not here to tell you "you can't have that" or that "you shouldn't do that".

What is asked of us is simply to be a little bit willing to return to the Light of Truth. We don't have to have to be willing, ever, to have stuff ripped away before we are ready. Nor do we need to feel guilty when we are not ready or when we want to keep stuff. The truth is you WILL NOT let go of stuff when you are not ready because you can't let go without being genuinely willing and ready. Holy Spirit knows that and that it would be a complete waste of time to 'force' you.

At some point, if we are to wake up to truth, we need to be willing to entertain the possibility that what we think is true might not be - and that something we denied or thought wasn't true might well be the truth. We've denied God and we need to reverse that. But to reverse it we have to question where we've put our sense of value, and we've put it into many things that aren't really the truth.

So maybe we value music. Most people do. Or nice sunsets. Or videos of puppies and kittens. If you go do those things, in light of what the Course says, the ego will say "if you do this you're not doing the Course, so you are guilty". The ego positions itself as Holy Spirit's right-hand man as if bestowing the punishment that allegedly would come from Holy Spirit for your failure to comply. Holy Spirit did not appoint the ego to do this, and you're not guilty. Being mistaken doesn't mean you're guilty or deserving punishment.

At some point though you might be willing to get closer to God, and that will mean opening up to a greater truth. And once you expose yourself to the greater truth, you're not going to be ABLE to go backwards. It will also show you, in light, that what you thought was true or valuable, is really actually not AS valuable as the real truth. It's not as meaningful. ONLY when you are able to see through what you thought was important and recognize it for what it really is - an illusion, nothing of value, a decoy, or a ridiculous ego scenario, you will then be ready and willing to let go of it. Stepping into the truth IS letting go of it.

There is no force involved. There is no coercion. There is no pressure. There is no guilt for not being ready. WHEN you are truly ready, there won't be anyone standing there telling its about goddam time you sacrificed already. You will, and can, only let go of stuff, when you AGREE that the stuff you're letting go of is NOT of value to you, and that what you've chosen instead IS of value (God's truth). When you can see clearly in LIGHT, it is obvious what is true and what is false - what is valuable and what is valueless. Then there is no struggle and no fight. Nobody's ripping stuff from you, and you're not having to just go cold-turkey on stuff you still feel attached to before you're ready.

So yes you can keep all your stuff and your behaviors and your beliefs and all of it as long as you want. Guilt free. AND, even when you realize that this stuff is not truly worthy of the Son of God, that doesn't mean anyone's going to say "see told you so" or try to make you stop doing those things. You can still watch TV if you want, or walk the dog, or eat food. But the important difference then is that you do not NEED to and you don't believe it is reality.

At some point, when you are ready, you WILL look at every stone and turn it over and realize the gifts the ego was offering versus the gifts God is offering, and you will gladly choose God's gifts, and you will gladly and effortlessly let go of the ego's gifts. This includes all of the ego's laws. It includes all of the things you think you NEED and WANT, other than GOD alone, in order to survive and exist and be happy. That includes needing to eat food, drink liquid, sleep, breathe air, or be a body at all. You might still do these things for a while, but a MASTER does not need any dependence on anything besides God.

To summarize, there is no guilt or punishment coming for your 'sinful' behavior of enjoying chocolate cake or watching movies. But your dependence on these things as your source of truth might be keeping you away from something far more magnificent, and eventually you might decide to change your mind about what you want. And when you're ready to do that, Holy Spirit is right there ready to take the opportunity to gently guide you forwards to see for yourself what it is you've been denying.

Ultimately because you are denying God you are denying yourself/depriving yourself of everything God offers, which is an absolutely huge blessing that you've rejected. Why deny yourself such magnificence and joy? Jesus might at this point prod us - "ask yourself, do you want your little trinkets the ego has to offer, or do you want the love of God?" And since is it GOD that you stand to GAIN when you let go of things of lesser meaning, YOU CAN'T LOSE.

I haven't been focusing on miracles for a while, but kind of accidentally lately I've been finding myself exposed to some statements about miracles. I seem to be seeing them in a different light. Which is funny because "seeing in the light" is a big part of it.

There is one thing ACIM says fairly clearly and it's that miracles are ONLY seen in light. It also says miracles and vision are completely connected to each other. At times it also suggests miracles are so high in terms of states of consciousness, as to be right up at the christ level. Such as that the eyes of christ deliver them to all they look upon.

It also tells us that miracles, seen in light, are all over the place. A miracle stands next to what seemed to be a false perception, and these miracles are even there when we don't see them. We can block awareness of the miracles but that doesn't mean they're not there. And that suggests they are "ways of seeing."

I also found in experience recently that in one instance where I was driving behind a car and was about to scapegoat and then chose not to, kind of "holding back" the projection of guilt, Jesus called it a miracle. So then that got me thinking, what is a miracle really? We're also told that miracles and grievances are opposites. Also that ego-projection and miracles are opposites. So that tells us a bit about the state of mind or the activities of mind.

We're also told that miracles don't "do" anything, although we're also told they UNDO the interference that the ego was DOING. They "correct" the mind and sort of straighten out perceptions. They're also described as the translation of denial into truth. Also that miracles merely remind the mind of who the dreamer is, ie putting your awareness back in touch with you being causal and not seeing yourself as a victim or as in a position to scapegoat.

Miracles appear to be tied into true perceptions, as though they are glimpses of an accurate perception of something. But we're also told that they are thought creations, that they can energize others, that they can supply a lack. And that they are expressions of love. In prayer love is received, and in miracles love is expressed.

The impression I'm getting is that the love is coming down from a higher level ie heaven, and we are the open door who has to extend them. This is a sort of cause-effect chain, where God gives us the miracles and then we transfer them to others. As in "Miracles are a universal blessing from God through me to all my brothers."

If we are in a state of christ mind where we're fully open to the truth, then we are fully able to extend and pass on these miracles, these parcels of love. It's almost like they reflect the idea of creations, in which we are co-creating with God, extending God and paying forward what we've received. This is why you can only give the miracles you've received.

On the one hand it seems that a miracle is like a gift of love, a form of healing, which corrects the mind and lifts it up out of false perceptions into true perception. As stated in terms of miracles "entailing" a sudden shift into vertical perception. At the same time this gift of love has power and healing in it, as all love does, and so while it corrects your sight and you "see with the miracle" or through the miracle-sight, you also extend that love and power and it can cause things to happen.

Jesus also refers to them as examples of right thinking. Right thinking is sanity and true perception. Accuracy of thought and mind. These moments of clarity and non-attack and non-judgement and non-projection, recognize sinlessness ie as in forgiveness, and broadcast that wholeness of mind to the whole sonship. They are thus also expressions of holy relationship ie total unconditional relationship.

Since Jesus refers to them as thought-creations, and that thoughts can create higher or lower realities, these miracles are clearly a function of mind and thought, which includes power and love, as kind of acts of "higher dreaming". These miracles lift up the mind and heal it, as in "interceding for your holiness". And as a result you see correctly, and your correct seeing has corrective properties which can shine light into other minds and correct them.

Thinking of someone like Jesus in a state of christ-mind, or near to it, he was so sided with heaven's laws that he could constantly radiate and pass on that miraculousness at will. He could use the mind, in combination of thought and belief, and with the power of God behind it, to cause things to happen. And each of these were love-based expressions. Including raising the dead and healing the sick and moving mountains. The mind is just naturally miraculous and powerful when it's in its healed state.

So miracles are definitely tied to mind, and to seeing, and to light, and to forgiveness, and to giving and receiving, and to extension of God and love. They are acts, performances, expressions, doings, which emit out of the mind and are given and shared, as part of the natural outgoing of love and its unlimitedness. Someone miraculous has the light of God in their eyes and just sees everything with sparkling light and can effortlessly bestow blessings of supernatural transformation everywhere they go.

"The miracle is the act of a Son of God who has laid aside all false gods, and who calls on his brothers to do likewise."

If a miracle can be as simple as a right-minded non-attacking non-scapegoating non-projecting opposite to a grievance, where you "look and wait and judge not", in which you are being closer in alignment to how the Holy Spirit sees, then we're asked to basically get our mind-seeing into the light where it can bestow miracles all the time. Seeing forgiveness given to everything. Meeting all things with heavenly blessing.

Or something like that.

The trend I see in ACIM is an unequivocal all-or-nothing "siding with God". A total commitment to his reality, truth, laws, and thought system. Being of God and not of this world.

If you imagine that this world doesn't exist at all, you live in heaven, you are identified with spirit, you are one with all brothers in Christ, you know yourself as God created you, and you have nothing that God hasn't given, then this is the natural state we are trying to return to.

But that also means, not believing a single thing about this world, having no identification with the body at all, not believing that sickness even EXISTS yet alone is happening, not believing that death is even POSSIBLE yet alone is happening, being not deceived by anything you see or anything the body senses, regarding yourself experientially as not being bound by the laws of physics whatsoever, and generally recognizing that there isn't even a world here!

It's a total complete shifting of allegiance and reality and location and identity to God's system, to such an extent that you completely forget about this world. You see yourself as under no laws but God's laws, created by His will, with our will in total alignment and agreement with his rather than having a separate will. Creating with God, extending perfect unconditional universal love to everyone equally, in relationship with everyone simultaneously.

Not to mention the ability to work miracles all the time naturally. For example, there is a guy in Europe who was called Bruno Groenig that worked a ton of miracles, and believed that not only did sickness not exist at all, but that it was also unwise to even speak of it. And because he believed ONLY in health and wholeness, he miraculously healed many people.

This is the goal that we're striving for. And we may not be able to relate to it, because right now we're probably somewhere in-between - committed to ego, sickness, suffering, fear, guilt and death. We think we are in a body in space time. We think stuff is really happening. We think we have real problems. That we can't escape and have no power.

We think the people we see as bodies have real sicknesses and that sickness and death are realities that exist. That we can suffer real loss and be deprived and unhappy. That we are still victims stuck in a prison world trying to find the way out, while being inundated with the ego's false advertising campaign.

So it seems a bit of a tall order to completely get out of all this, and I'm sure you recognize this too - a sense that there's still so much to seemingly do in order to get yourself into a state of being TOTALLY sided with God ONLY. In which ONLY God's truth is true and NOTHING else is true. In which you achieve the resurrection and ASSERT ONLY LIFE, with no trace of death or the belief in death whatsoever.

To live it and experience it, to see from it, to act based on it. Yet this is what we need to do - to completely give ourselves over to God in EVERY way, in EVERY area of life. To completely uproot our entire belief system about our life here and not for a second give this world even the slightest sense of belief or value. Only then are we ready to go home to heaven and to God.

"This is a very simple course. Perhaps you do not feel that a course which, in the end, teaches nothing more than that only reality is true is necessary. BUT DO YOU BELIEVE IT?"

"What God did not give you has no power over you, and the attraction of love for love remains irresistible."

"The world does nothing to him. He only thought it did. Nor does he do anything to the world, because he was mistaken about what it was. Herein is the release from guilt and sickness both, for they are one. Yet to accept this release, the insignificance of the body must be an acceptable idea."

"Here again is the paradox often referred to in the course. To say, "Of myself I can do nothing" is to gain all power. And yet it is but a seeming paradox. As God created you, you have all power. The image you made of yourself has none."

"Here is the perfect statement of my freedom. I am under no laws but God's. I am constantly tempted to make up other laws, and give them power over me. I suffer only because of my belief in them. They have no real effect on me at all. I am perfectly free of the effects of all laws save God's. And His are the laws of freedom."

"Loss is not loss when properly perceived. Pain is impossible. There is no grief with any cause at all and suffering of any kind is nothing but a dream. Such is the truth, at first to be but said, and then repeated many times, and next to be accepted as but partly true, with many reservations, then to be considered seriously more and more, and finally accepted as the truth."

"Miracles make time and tide wait for all men. They can heal the sick and raise the dead because man himself made both death and taxes, and can abolish both."

"The resurrection is the denial of death, being the assertion of life. Thus is all the thinking of the world reversed entirely. Life is now recognized as salvation, and pain and misery of any kind perceived as hell. Love is no longer feared but gladly welcomed. Idols have disappeared, and the remembrance of God shines unimpeded across the world. Christ's face is seen in every living thing, and nothing is held in darkness apart from the light of forgiveness. There is no sorrow still upon the earth. The joy of Heaven has come upon it."

"Thus does the miracle undo all things the world attests can never BE undone. And hopelessness and death MUST disappear before the ancient clarion call of life. This call has power FAR beyond the weak and miserable cry of death and guilt. The ancient Calling of the Father to His Son, and of the Son unto his own, will yet be the last trumpet that the world will ever hear. Brother, there is no death. And this you learn when you but wish to show your brother that you had no hurt of him. He thinks your blood is on his hands, and so he stands condemned. But it is given you to SHOW him, by your healing, that his guilt is but the fabric of a senseless dream."

He also says nothing can happen without your decision to make it happen, and what you choose to happen must happen, and nothing else can happen. There are no accidents or victims.

This completely flies in the face of the typical experience of most people, whose lives seem filled with cases of apparent victimhood, victimization, unfairness, accidents, things going "wrong", blame for responsibility, and all manner of lies which cannot be true.

But how is it possible that someone chooses death?

Imagine a perfectly happy, sane person who absolutely deliberately wants to die, just for fun. Imagine that this person very carefully orchestrates a plot, which allows them to seem to be killed by someone else, with absolutely no involvement of their own. This person puts on such a powerful "performance", like an actor in a play who pretends to die, that most bystanders believe wholeheartedly that the person died against their will.

But imagine that you know better, and that you know every single part of this person's death was chosen by themselves. That they literally did it to themselves. And there wasn't even the slightest bit of room for error, or mistakes, or other people being involved. And yet, this person very very cleverly painted a picture for the whole world to make it seem like they absolutely did not want this. "Poor me, woe is my, how could you do this, gasp etc".

And so this person puts on a spectacular show, for example entering into tremendous fear, getting down on their knees and begging for their life, when secretly they know exactly what they are doing and absolutely cannot be killed by anyone else. Yet they try to make it look like someone else is doing it to them. They will even hide their own tremendous power, they will shove all of their sense of responsibility under the carpet, trying to create the *illusion* that they are not choosing this at all. And the only part of themselves which they will allow the world to see is a tiny spec of identity represented as an innocent victim, who did not choose this terrible end.

So basically, this is someone faking their own death, or at least the circumstances of how or why they died. It's a huge story they made up, a lie, to cover up the fact that they themselves were the one who dealt the final blow to themselves. And yet, all these other people came to be blamed, all these other people became involved and falsely accused, and absolutely nobody suspected that this person made this happen on their own.

If everyone else involved were awake, they would not for a second buy this story, and would not be participating, and nobody would take this person's melodramatic self-destruction seriously. Nobody would become lost in the story of it, the illusion of it, and nobody would for a second be convinced that this person isn't doing it to themselves. All the facts would be out in the open for everyone to see.

Yet when other people are also asleep, and do not see the whole picture, and do not recognize how the person is making choices, and do not recognize freedom, they too will seem to "participate" in the story and make it seem much more plausible that the person is not the one destroying themselves. They believe that the person is a victim and is suffering death against their will, because THEY TOO believe in being victims who are destroyed against their own will, and do not want their own cover to be blown.

It is a cover-up, with accomplices. And so there are roles to be played and even contracts formed, by the person, to arrange a hitman so that nobody else suspects that they were arranging their own death. And at the last minute the hitman would be blamed and scapegoated and the person would be laughing all the way to the grave.

This is what happens, every single time that someone dies.

Death cannot happen if you do not choose it. But that choice is very extreme, as Jesus says, very absolute. It is not by half measures. Any choice for the ego is a choice for death. Any belief in illusions is a choice for death. And any belief that false lies are the truth, leads to death.

So if you are awake, let's say you are Jesus, looking upon a person who has gone through an extraordinary sequence of 'events' and transformations, to make themselves look like a terrible victim, on purpose, by choice, and yet at the end of this process most people are believing the person is a 'genuine victim',... Jesus would look and he would SEE the whole truth, he would RECOGNIZE the person's absolute freedom, and he would KNOW that every single step of everything that has happened has been by the person's choice. No matter how it seems on the surface. The person has created such an impressive illusion of death and victimhood that everyone falls for it and only the awakened can see through it.

And so if the person were to attempt to "die", or even if they seem to bring about their death, Jesus could be standing there taking none of it seriously, laughing at death, taking it as the con and the joke that it is, the deception and the lie that it is, believing it not even for a second. And then Jesus might say, as he did, "get up and live", or "Lazarus, stop being an idiot and pretending to be dead, come back to life. It's a lot easier".

And then the person would suddenly miraculously 'come back' to life. Or rather, they would own up to the fact they were doing this to themselves, AND that death is not FINAL because death is just denial of life not its removal... and would snap out of their silly mood and perk right up. And everyone would be like, well that's a miracle right there. Jesus raised the dead. Well, death is not permanent, and it is just a performance, underneath which is an immortal spirit pretending to be dead - an eternal unkillable being pretending that it can die. So yeah.

Death is not the end. It is not real. And you cannot seem to go through it unless you choose to. So you literally are faced with a life or death choice. Do you choose to live forever, or pretend to die (again)?

I found myself in a conversation with Jesus last night about whether or not it's okay to pray for someone if they have not 'given permission'. I wanted to pray for someone to attempt to help them and heal them, but I wondered, what if they did not want this?

I thought about how we're not meant to violate someone's free will and how maybe it would incur some kind of 'karma' if we try to do this. I also thought about ethics and about how everyone has 'rights' and that we're supposed to be respectful and all that.

I seemed to be getting hints from Jesus that it was still okay to pray, and in fact it had been Jesus who initially had suggested to me "pray". Jesus has been trying to get me to experiment more with 'true prayer', since prayer is the medium of miracles, and to learn more how to extend God's miracles to people. But I felt a bit awkward about 'doing a prayer to someone'.

I wondered if it was some kind of manipulation. But somehow it seemed plausible that maybe it was helpful, that maybe anything that truly comes from God is perhaps useful and uplifting and a blessing of some kind.

So then I started wondering about whether in the higher realms there might be some kind of special 'rules' or 'laws' in place which govern this kind of thing, whether I should ask Jesus or God or someone not only IF it's okay to pray for someone, but also what to pray for. It seems at least to make sense to ask for guidance as to what will be helpful, rather than just launch into an ego 'I think this should happen' sort of thing.

Then it started to occur to me that perhaps there is a difference between horizontal and vertical thinking, ie that most of our worries about violating someone's free will are to do with things we would 'do to someone' in a horizontal, ego-logical way, on the level of form and separation... and that perhaps when you go into 'vertical' mode (which is conducive to miracles), you are perhaps transcending that entire scenario... it occurred me to also that everything in this world is basically illusion and part of ego-world laws, and yet in truth, "I am under no laws but God's".

Having spun my wheels around all of this I then turned to Jesus and just asked, why or how is it okay to pray for someone when they haven't asked for it and maybe don't even want it?

In his becoming-increasingly-common fashion, he replied with a single short sentence which cut through absolutely all of the bullshit and confusion like a knife.

"Since when was it a crime to love someone?"

:-)

Praying with God and receiving God's love and extending God's love, which is the 'mechanics' of miracle working, is entirely within the realm of loving people. It's not really 'about' the miracle as such, or the outcome, but really just about loving people. The love that inspires the miracle is important, more than the miracle itself. The miracle is almost a side-effect of love. So with a focus on simply praying as a form of a) thanking God for love, b) receiving love, c) extending love to others, where's the possible harm in that? And if a miracle comes of it, that's fine too... because "miracles are natural expressions of love, when they aren't happening something has gone wrong".

So I focused on love. And I prayed for the person. And I even prayed for the person to receive healing, which may even entail changes in their body. But rather than it seem like an act of control, manipulation, non-acceptance or overstepping boundaries, it simply became an affirmation of truth, an exclamation of the lovability of the person, and a restoration of how God would have things be. In this sense it can only be a blessing. And this made me think of...

"Miracles are the maximal service you can render to another". So if a miracle is the absolute BEST that I can possibly offer to someone, as a natural component of love through prayer, than where is there room in there for doubt or ideas of 'not supposed to' or 'respecting separate will' or whatever. And I guess it boils down to this..... miracles from God's love are ALWAYS a blessing, are ALWAYS welcome, are ALWAYS justified, are ALWAYS allowed (per God's will), and are a kind of 'right' that we each have to bestow upon each other.

We are, in our miracle working, extending God's authority and using that authority to have authority over ILLUSIONS, not so much over the person. The person is NOT the illusion of sickness, the person is NOT the life challenge, the person is NOT what their ego is up to or the lessons they have. So we cannot really do anything TO the person anyway, because they already ARE perfect love in truth. And we are not really in fact healing the real person because the real person needs no healing. All we are doing is calling for love to come in and set a person free from illusions, which is a divine blessing.

Okay so I realize this may sound like potentially a lot of rationalization or justification... but really just clarity. Coming into awareness that we ARE extensions of God's authority, we DO have the ability to give love, Jesus DOES perform miracles as "intercessions for your holiness", and doing this IS allowed and normal and loving, regardless of whether someone asks to be helped or not. Divine help is TRULY HELPFUL. Ego help is the kind of help that has side-effects and boundary-violating properties. There is a difference. Provided we are putting God/Love first, all is well.

It's okay to work miracles for those who are not able to help themselves, and for those who are temporarily weaker, and for those who are temporarily more resistant to love. But you should probably still seek Spiritual guidance as to whether this is in accord with the Plan of Atonement. As Jesus says, indiscriminate miracles are not always helpful, and that you should consult with Him first. I guess that's as good a basis for 'what to do' as any.

It all comes back to that funny old adage ... "what would Jesus do?"

When you thought that you had hurt your relationship with God and done something really bad - sin - you didn't think you were worthy of love any more. You felt ashamed. You went off on your own feeling sad and unhappy and afraid.

Love was the most beautiful cherished thing you could possible have and you felt that you'd lost it. And since you lost it, you have not found anything anywhere near as valuable.

To substitute for it you made up all kinds of TOTAL SHIT to try to substitute for what you lost. All kinds of inferior, stupid, ridiculous stuff that isn't even valuable or worth anything. You tried your best to imbue it with some kind of 'value' or 'meaning' to justify why you wanted it, but you didn't want any of it. Not really. All you wanted was God's love again. Sin, guilt, fear, idols, sickness, death, you thought it would fill the hole in God's absence, but none of it is worth anything and you are deeply disappointed.

So now here you are feeling like you have sinned and are guilty and afraid and unworthy of any amount of love at all, feeling all terrible and sorry for yourself, like you only deserve to die and be shoved in the ground because you're so worthless. You surround yourself with all these bullshit trophies, trying to celebrate sin and guilt and fear and death, putting stuff on pedestals to try to idolize it like it's worthy of you or meaningful to you. It's all just crap. It's not worth SHIT in comparison to God's love, and you know it. You think you want the world, your money, your possessions, your toys, your relationships? It's all a substitute for God.

But you think this is all that you deserve. You think this is valuable to you. You think it's all you have left, some minute disgusting tiny little speck of light amidst and cold dark world. You think your nightmares are worthy of you and that you deserve to suffer and die. You feel so sad about how you rejected God and threw away Heaven and all the tremendous beauty and life and happiness that you once had. Now you've got stuck with this stupid ugly world that just continues to decay and die and proves that God isn't around any more. All your favorite things decay and die. You really just want to go Home.

The fact is, that what you think you did to God, was actually not successful. It's like you launched a missile and then turned your back believing it was certain to hits it target and destroy it. But you never actually saw it be destroyed, you just assumed it must be true. And off you went on your sorry little adventure all by yourself, lonely and afraid and feeling lost and abandoned, shameful of what you did and guilty as to be deserving terrible punishment. But you were wrong. You were terribly wrong. Here's the good news.

Your attack on God did not work. At all. Sorry if that's bad news, but God is totally unharmed. He wasn't even phased. He just laughed at your silly attempt and didn't take it seriously at all. All your upset is for nothing. All your suffering and guilt, you don't need it. All your sense of sin and horror and terrible justification for punishment, it's all completely uncalled for. You were MISTAKEN! Big time. Huge time. Massively mistaken.

You haven't hurt God whatsoever and God is not mad with you whatsoever. He is very very happy and still loves you just as much as He ever did. And you're just terrified that what you thought happened is so true and has had such a real effect that you can never go back and be loved again. You still think you deserve to die for what you think you did. But you don't. God WELCOMES you back to Him. He is EAGER to love you completely. He has waited all this time for the opportunity for you to acknowledge that he finds you completely innocent. COMPLETELY INNOCENT.

You can go Home. You can return to God. He's not mad at you. He's not going to punish you or make you suffer or reject you. He never did that the first time. You've just got the wrong end of the stick. Everything you thought was true that isn't true - it's not true at all. All of the sin and guilt and fear that you think you deserve to be burdened with, none of it is called for. It's all completely irrelevant. All that baggage, those huge swaths of darkness and despair, it's all unnecessary. YOU CAN BE LOVED!

God is waiting on you to just simply let go of all this shit. All these lies about how bad you are. All the bullshit about your sinfulness. All the crap about how guilty you are and how afraid you should be. And that death-wish, come on... its totally bullshit. You don't deserve to die whatsoever, not even close.

All this stupid stuff seems to stand in the way of you accepting God's love. It's not like God is waiting to forgive you. It's not that he's delaying until you confront him so you can hash it out in a thunderstorm and clear the air. He's already totally convinced of how much He loves you and how innocent you are. It's all on you now. You're the one delaying and suffering needlessly. It's all your own reluctance to surrender. All this story that you've devised to explain why you can't go back to God... all this baggage and resistance... it's totally unfounded and is just a big mistake. You don't need any of it, not even a bit of it. Let it all go! You're forgiven - you didn't do anything wrong!

God's waiting to give you a great big hug of love and joy and happiness! Right NOW! He's ready. What's stopping you? Why do you still believe you committed a sin when He clearly is totally convinced that you have DONE NOTHING? It's really quite silly. This whole entire world is all there based on your conviction that you sinned and can't be forgiven. Sort of a big waste of time. You can stop trying to convince yourself at any time.

Those silly toys you made - sin, guilt, fear, death, they aren't true. They aren't what you deserve. They don't prove anything. All you really want to know is this - God loves you now and always has and always will. Your relationship with God has not suffered! God just wants to love the crap out of you. He is willing and welcoming. Love is available. The doors are open. Come home, prodigal son! You have done nothing wrong. Let go of everything else that keeps you at bay. Trust you can be loved again. You deserve it. You are it.

You are the love of God. Everything is OKAY! Rejoice!

You think death is real, but you quickly forget that everything that ever 'died' is just part of a big DREAM you're having while you're asleep. This world is part of this dream and everything that happens in it is part of a dream.

All wars, all bodies, all old age, all sickness and disease, it's all just part of a giant dream. It's all happening inside a big bubble of unreality where nothing real happens at all.

There is a dream of death, there is imagined death, but there isn't any real death beyond it. Nothing permanent happens here. Nothing has any real effect on anything real. How can a dream affect reality? When bodies in this world 'die', that's still just a fictional event happening inside a giant dream. An imagined death is no death at all. That is why 'death' is reversible within the dream, because it's totally made-up and unreal, and resurrecting inside the dream is also unreal.

Outside of the dream, none of this happens. Outside the dream, you're still completely safe with God, just dreaming of exile and pretending that death is real. The you that is having the dream is completely unaffected by anything that happens inside the dream. You think you are affected as a 'figure' in the dream, while you're dreaming it, but this is just a nightmare that isn't real. The you that is outside the dream is immortal and is not inside the dream at all.

You are just asleep. As the course has said "...sleep is not death. What He created can sleep, but it CANNOT die." You as immortal spirit can have some sleep and dream about being in a world where people die and bodies suffer, but the entire thing is just a fantasy dream. It isn't real at all. It isn't really happening. And it has absolutely NO EFFECT on God or who you really are, outside the dream. All of the fallout and 'effects' of conflict in the dream, STAY in the dream. None of it touches or affects God or your Real Self whatsoever. God is absolutely unchanged by you being asleep and having a dream of something that isn't happening.

This is why you are immortal. What does it matter how many times fictional bodies die or live or suffer or have health or whatever. None of it is who you are really, none of it has any effect on your REALITY whatsoever, and none of it carries over when you fully awaken from sleeping. Where do dreams go when you awaken? They are recognized as having been just an unreal dream, they no longer exist, and nothing has happened. They didn't 'leak out' into reality and they don't have any side effects. They simply disappear.

You can play around with stuff inside the dream and you can become confused about what is appearing to happen, and you can think it is reality since you're out of touch with reality. You can think that serious stuff happens and that real people really die in horrible ways. You can think that making the body not die is important, and you can think that performing miracles is important. You can value healing over suffering. And you can value death over life. None of it is important at all, it's all an illusion. Everything inside the dream is not reality and anything happening in a DREAM has absolutely no real effects!

This is because the dream itself is just an effect. The dream is not a cause. You are the dreamer, dreaming it, and you are the only cause of it. The dream wouldn't exist at all if it weren't for you dreaming. It ALL comes from you. Every last bit of it. And that means there is NO part of it that comes from anywhere else, and there is NO part of it that has any power to 'cause' other dream-stuff to happen. If you didn't write it into the 'script' of the dream, it cannot happen in the dream! EVERY part of it is your dream and is the EFFECT of you dreaming. As an effect, everything that goes on in the dream is NOT a cause, and HAS NO EFFECT, and therefore CANNOT AFFECT YOUR REAL SELF.

One day you're going to stop dreaming and wake up to reality. And you're simply going to become aware of what REALLY exists, which is you as immortal spirit, being with an immortal God of love, forever. And you will know immediately, that there never has been any death, no wars, no sickness, no struggles or suffering, no problems, nothing. It was all just a really horrendous nightmare dream. And THANK GOD it was just a dream! All that's left is you hanging out with God in eternity, with eternal life, completely unchanged from the condition He created you in, absolutely safe from dreams of death, absolutely unaffected and unchanged. You will know - nothing that seemed to happen in the dream has happened at all. There are no real ghosts, there is no real war, there is no real suffering or sickness, there is no death, and there is no world! The whole world, wasn't real.

All that is left is God's Creation, which is all that really exists. What God Created lives and exists, and what He did not create does not exist.

Nothing real can be threatened. (Reality is unaffected by your dream)

Nothing unreal exists. (Dreams are DREAMS, they don't EXIST!)

Herein lies the peace of God. (God KNOWS there is only immortal reality, and that you are a part of it forever)

You're dreaming. You're dreaming of being inside a dream as a little body-identified self that is also a dream. This isn't reality. Nothing that happens here has any real consequences. It is all perfectly contained and not even really happening. The Kingdom of Heaven is perfectly protected from all illusions, and nothing can prevail against it.

You are safe with God and you always will be. This is why there is no need to be afraid - because there literally is nothing REAL to be afraid of. Everything you are afraid of DOES NOT EXIST and is just a dream/illusion. You need not be afraid because there is ONLY LOVE, and God has ensured your absolute safety in reality forever.

Attempting to take your self closer to the truth in any way, will be met with ego resistance.

The ego itself is nothing, just a "way of looking" which is the opposite to seeing the truth. It distorts everything and makes everything seem the opposite to what it is. It inverts reality. It changes God into death/evil/murderous. It sees Holy Spirit as an enemy. It sees the truth as a threat. And it does not want anything to do with this idea of "waking up and not having an ego."

The ego by itself doesn’t do anything. The problem is that YOU have taken it on AS IF it is your own Self. You regard IT as the same thing as your identity.

What that does is it causes you to perceive WITH it, through it’s eyes. You then will see things the way the ego sees them.

So if you are "tied to" an ego identity which wants absolutely nothing to do with truth, cannot exist in the truth, and sees the truth as proof that it does not exist, then "YOU" will become very threatened by approaching the truth.

If for example the truth says, there is no sin, and the ego believe that sin is real and true, and therefore sin is your *identity*, to your sense of self this will SEEM to say "I do not exist."

Regardless of the fact that you may have sided with an insane ego, you do not RECOGNIZE it is insane. You think it makes perfect sense. It seems logical, sensible, rational. You will also want to defend it as though to do so is defending "your" life, because you think it is you. Therefore it makes sense to you to AVOID the truth at all costs.

The ego sees the truth as attack, vengeance, evil, warring, deadly, hateful, loss, non-existence, etc. If you identify with the ego, you will also see the truth as meaning this.

So then, you will attempt to reach out to the truth, to become closer to God, to go into the light, but because part of you is STILL holding onto the ego and is using it to perceive, that part of you seeing with the ego will think you’re trying to kill yourself.

No-one in their "right mind" would go against what seems sensible and true, and expose themselves to what must be the END of themselves. The truth is the end of the ego, and if you believe it, it means it’s the end of your self. Approaching the truth WITH the ego, pulling it along with you, is nothing short of you SCARING THE CRAP out of yourself by exposing yourself to your worst enemy, complete with no defenses.

This is the sole cause of all ego rebounds and resistance - the mis-perception that welcoming the truth is welcoming your own death. No-one wants to do this. IT seems sensible to protect yourself and defend yourself against this. In spite of your best efforts to "become more spiritual" by opening up to the light of truth, or to love, the rest of you - still perceiving the opposite to the truth, will fear out when you try to do it.

What can even happen is your ego self will create DEFENSES AGAINST THE TRUTH, which it thinks are *needed* in order to protect your "self". Or to put it another way, you who are identified with the ego, interpret the truth as your mortal enemy, and do not want it, are threatened by it and want to "naturally" defend yourself. In the name of preserving your own life, you will erect DEFENSES psychologically.

The only ego defense is *separation*, attempting to create a gap or sense of "distance" between yourself and the threat. Implementing this is an attempt to shut out the truth, by implementing a BLOCK. The purpose of this block is to block your awareness of the threat, because if you are not aware of it, to you this is practically the same experience as though it does not exist. You use DENIAL to hide the perceived danger from yourself, so you can enter an *illusion of safety*. This illusion of safety, this block, made of guilt, shows up as SICKNESS. Sickness is a defense against the truth.

The purpose of sickness then is to defend you against what you think is going to hurt you. But to implement it, you actually HURT YOURSELF. It should be obvious why this is insane. Perceiving your best interests through the filter of the ego is insane, because it shows you the *opposite* of what will actually help you. What would really help you, and what is the UNDOING of sickness, is to correctly perceive WITHOUT the ego, that the truth is NOT a threat or hurtful, is FOR you not against you, is welcome, you want it, and it does NOT mean you will not exist.

When you can perceive correctly that you are not being threatened by the truth, you will UNDO the NEED for the defense, and this will make the sickness *disappear*. Literally. All symptoms will be dropped, because you have no further need for them. Sickness is always serving the PURPOSE of being a defense to keep you safe, even though it does the opposite. Without its purpose, it will not exist because you will withdraw your belief from it.

Essentially, approaching the truth is going to make your ego-identified self threatened. It will want to defend itself and it will be horrified, offended, upset and scared of the truth. This can lead people to BECOME SICK by doing the course. It can also cause peoples lives to turn upside down, as reactions to the misinterpretation of the truth.

Gradually the way to undo this is the development of trust and coming to perceive correctly WITHOUT the ego’s interpretation. This will naturally lead to a WILLINGNESS to accept the atonement, and accept God’s truth as true. And then you will have no resistance whatsoever. It is only your beliefs to the contrary that try to defend you against the truth.

So each time you have an ego rebound, don’t belittle yourself or judge yourself as failing to do the course right. I used to think I was making big mistakes when I had rebounds, like I was guilty for having them. But I had to learn to be gentle and acknowledge what they were saying, recognizing it was a part of my SELF that was afraid and offended by the truth I was opening up to. It’s perfectly okay to take a BREAK from pushing yourself towards the truth, to let your ego settle down a bit, and integrate what you’ve learned so that you can move forward with more willingness and less fear.

Forgiveness only seems to be needed, as a process, because you currently believe there are things that need to be forgiven.

In other words, you currently are experiencing unforgiveness, and therefore the world seems unforgiven and unforgiving. And therefore, you think that you need to forgive.

But this process of forgiveness, is supposed to take you from a state of unforgiveness - an unforgivingattitude, to a state of forgiveness - a forgiving attitude.

It's supposed to occur to you that the purpose of forgiving is to undo the perceived need to 'do forgiveness'. Because ultimately there is not anything that needs to be forgiven.

There is a forgiven world here. A world of innocence. A world with no guilt. But you don't perceive it because you have judged it as unforgiven and unforgivable, having judged yourself as such.

So it seems like you need to do some forgiveness. And as you do this forgiveness, what you're doing is re-accessing the awareness that whatever it was that you thought was unforgivable, is forgivable, and is in fact innocent. An ancient hatred has become a present love.

Whatever it was you thought was judged and hated, is innocent. Whatever it is you thought was really happening, is not happening and you don't even see it anymore.

So as you proceed with your forgiving, your practice, you should gradually come to realize, there is less and less to forgive, precisely because you're becoming aware of the real world. You're becoming aware that everything is forgivable and forgiven.

Forgiveness ultimately is not a process, but a state of awareness in which you see forgivingly, with a forgiving attitude, and this forgiving attitude does not show you things to forgive. It does not show you errors or mistakes. It only shows you innocence.

This attitude of being forgiving doesn't mean you are having to constantly forgive and forgive and do more work and counteract more crap that shows up. When you are in a forgiving attitude, you do not see crap. You do not see problems. You don't see enemies or things to forgive.

So its a bit of a paradox, that when you have a truly forgiving attitude, when you are in the Holy Spirit's mind, you see everything as forgiven already. You pro-actively fore-give, which means you give ahead of time, which means you extend love and you extend innocence and truth and therefore that is what you will perceive because that is your reality.

In your reality there isn't any 'thing' to forgive. All is forgiven.

So really, you think you need to do lots of forgiveness still. Yes, for a time. But only because you think forgiveness is needed. Only because you're not yet able to sustain a consistently forgiving attitude. Only because it hasn't yet dawned on you that everyone including you is completely innocent and calls only for love.

So as you work you way through this forgiveness 'process', this undoing, this purifying, you're really erasing the mistakes that you're making in your forgiveness, you're polishing up your attitude, you're getting ready to see with forgiving eyes. You're preparing to look upon the world with innocence in order to see only innocence.

This process is itself not forgiveness. This process is the way that you gradually wake up to forgiveness. It's a sorting out, of what is forgiveable and what is not forgivable. Eventually you will accept that everything is forgivable, and as such, will no longer seen anything as unforgiven.

A forgiving attitude shows you a forgiven world. A forgiving attitude doesn't give you lots of work to do trying to counteract illusions of judgement. A forgiving attitude is simply clarity. It's the clarity of truth, the clarity of awareness. A forgiving attitude shows your mind, clearly, that when you can see clearly and with truth, you are able to properly discern that THERE IS ONLY INNOCENCE.

All appearances of things not being innocent, only looks that way because you have blocks in your mind. All appearances that there is nasty dirty stuff and grievous enemies to overcome, is because of blocks in your mind. These things DO NOT REALLY EXIST.

You see them, you look upon them, precisely because your mind is distorted and is projecting images that aren't real. You see enemies because you are attacking your innocence. You see attack and threat and danger and victimhood because you don't realize that you can't be a victim. You see impossible things because you are not yet aware of how these things are impossible - you actually take them seriously and think they are possible.

So ultimately, this forgiveness process that we all undertake, it's really a transition away from "I need to forgive" towards "there is nothing to forgive". There is nothing to forgive because there is no sin, there is no guilt, there is no fear, there is no attack, there is no harm. There is nothing to forgive because nothing has gone wrong. Nothing has happened. Holy Spirit sees this. You need to learn to see it too. And then you will be done with the 'effort' of forgiving, which ultimately is not a 'doing', but a 'being'.