In A Course in Miracles, in the beginning, you are safe in God, happily co-creating with Him. Then along comes the tiny mad idea. The authority problem forms, level confusion begins, you go into the separation and the idea of real sin is given belief.
Believing that sin is possible, has reality, has occurred producing real effects, and is irreversible, is an unforgiving attitude. If you were to be forgiving you'd recognize that sin is impossible and there is no sin - that you remain innocent. But without forgiveness you immediately enter into the belief that sin is real.
At this point, you are already attacking yourself. You have condemned yourself by believing that you really sinned against God. You now have an unwillingness to forgive yourself. This sets up a chain reaction whereby, since you sinned, and you did it, you must be guilty of it. And since you are guilty, you deserve punishment.
This is all a judgement that you are placing on yourself. It has nothing to do with other people. Just the simple belief that you really sinned is enough to condemn yourself to death. Actually death is a completely logical conclusion if sin is real, and until the sin is undone, you will seek to destroy yourself for what you did.
So the mere act of believing sin is real is actually an attack upon yourself, a condemnation. And this automatically is going to lead to you believing that you should be punished. It will even make sense to you that you should be punished. You will agree that punishment is called for, because of your guilty nature.
If you believe in your guilt you're going to continue the process of self attack. You will allow yourself to be hurt, because you will agree with punishment as if it should be happening. You won't resist it or defend yourself against it. You'll welcome suffering and want retribution against yourself. And when you arrange for others to seem to play the part of victimizer, punisher or abuser, you are secretly wanting to be the victim because you think you deserve it.
But the more dangerous aspect here is, it isn't really others or the world or God that are going to enact this vengeance for you and upon you. It's you. Your own belief that you sinned and are guilty will compel you to believe you should be hurt. You are starting to hate yourself and find yourself unworthy of love. And you will start trying to hurt yourself. It will make sense to you that you should suffer and you will actively try to make it happen because it seems justified.
As this develops you are becoming more and more suicidal. What is suicide other than self attack, self punishment, and an attempt to destroy yourself? We should make clear here that the entire ego thought system is an attempt to destroy your identity. It's an attack on God's Son, on His immortality. It's an attempt to deny that you exist and destroy yourself. So the whole ego thought system is suicidal and self-defeating from the beginning.
This essentially is the cause of all death. Every single death, no matter the seeming circumstances or appearances of causes, is solely the result of the belief that sin is real. And all forms of sickness are symptoms of the fear of God's wrath, the desire to suffer, and an attempt to project your sin onto others in a futile effort to deny that you believe you did it.
"The wages of sin is death."
"No one dies wihtout their own consent"
"You cannot die unless you choose to do so."
"You cannot be hurt unless you hurt yourself."
So anyone who believes they really sinned, is suicidal, and is choosing to die. They are consenting to punishment, because they believe they deserve it for what they did. Every single dead body in the history of the human race has been caused by the belief in sin. It's essentially a death wish, a wish for the death of yourself as consequence of your sinfulness.
If you consider the belief that you sinned against God, attacking Him against His will by usurping his power, playing God and having authority over Him, you will now believe that God is entirely justified in vengeance. In essence, you will believe that God wants you dead - that your death is God's will. And this will then lead to the belief that you cannot go home, you are not welcome in Heaven, sin cannot be undone, and there is no choice at all.
Based on this a death wish is formed, producing the sense of the inevitability of death. It's the belief that returning to Eternal Life is no longer an option, so the only thing you can do is suffer and die. This makes death the only path you can seemingly follow. And it's this belief that makes death seem inevitable. The driving force is your own belief that you really sinned, which is already a way to condemn yourself to death.
The good thing is, that in truth you did not really sin, God is unchanged and nothing has really happened. You have only dreamed of all this and there is no real sin at all. Nothing real can be threatened so the idea of sinning against something real is nonsense. This means that if you can recognize your sinlessness, which is accepting the Atonement truth, the belief in sin is uprooted at its core. There is no foundation for sin when innocence is recognized, and this is how the atonement cures you by proving sin doesn't exist.
"Only atonement can be said to cure."
The good thing then is, that if you are willing to forgive yourself and recognize you never sinned, you are not guilty, and you are still loved by God, this opens up to the door to option B. You can now CHOOSE whether or not to go towards death or towards eternal life. Death becomes OPTIONAL. You recognize you don't HAVE to be sick or die, and you actually can choose never to die again. To never commit suicide.
By acknowledging you are welcome to return back Home to God, because you are forgiven and have never sinned, Real Life is on the cards again and you can choose it. Which means you can choose not to die! You can choose to experience eternal life, and never have to die again. To never again torture yourself, make yourself unhappy, suffer or make yourself sick. That you deserve to live and not die, because there is no sin or death and you are free.
"There is no death, the Son of God is free."
"I am still as God created me."
"There is no sin."
The acceptance of the Atonement is the end of suicide because it is the end of death. It is the end of the sense of inevitability or "lack of another option". It's the reclaiming of the power to choose to accept the eternal life you already have. And it therefore signals the end of the need for sickness and death. Those who are innocent have not sinned, are not guilty, do not deserve to die, and thus death has no purpose.
The fact is then, that most of the people on this planet are suicidal. To varying degrees, we're all trying to die. And most believe death is inevitable because they have not forgiven the belief in sin entirely.
"This is the anti-Christ; the strange idea there is a power PAST omnipotence, a place BEYOND the infinite, a time transcending the eternal. Here the world of idols has been set by the idea this power and place and time are given form, and shape the world where the impossible has happened. Here the deathless come to die; the all-encompassing to suffer loss; the timeless to be made the slaves of time. Here does the changeless change; the peace of God, forever given to all living things, give way to chaos. And the Son of God, as perfect, sinless, and as loving as his Father, come to hate a little while; to suffer pain, and finally to die."
No-one deserves to die, and no-one needs to die. In truth no one CAN die, but we can confuse ourselves with things that seem to.
"You are immortal and you cannot die, but you can confuse yourself with things that do."
Given you cannot die and are permanently innocent, it is pointless to try to make death happen. This is why Jesus is asking you to "swear not to die, you holy Son of God." Only those who are committing suicide want death and thus choose it. Those who are awakening to truth, forgiving themselves and are preparing to go Home to God, MUST relinquish the attraction to and need for death. And this automatically melts away as the guilt and sin disappear. Without sin there is no death. And without death there is no world of sin.
"Without the idea of death there is no world."
If you have not sinned you are not guilty. If you are not guilty you do not need to be punished. If you do not need to be punished you have no basis for hurting yourself. If you stop hurting yourself you never have to suffer or die ever again. This is the secret of salvation.
This is a course in LIFE, in resurrection, and returning to your immortality. It is the end of all suicidal death and the restoration of eternal life. Death is a failure to forgive. And succeeding in forgiveness opens the gates of heaven.
There is no death, there is only immortal eternal life which lives forever through perfect unlimited extension. It is impossible to ever die or to cause death. Only life exists, and death is nothing.
All forms of sickness, unhappiness and suffering are forms of death. They are a denial of eternal life. They are attempts to assert that you or another can be changed through attack (sin), and made to be mortal.
We are all immortal permanent creations and this is our only reality. You have never changed nor have you ever been changed, nor have you ever changed another. We remain exactly as God created us as we will always remain forever.
"There is no death. The Son of God is free."
"There is no death, and we renounce it now in every form, for their salvation and our own as well. God made not death. Whatever form it takes must therefore be illusion. This the stand we take today. And it is given us to look past death and see the life beyond."
"His Word has promised peace. It has also promised that there is no death; that resurrection must occur, and that rebirth is man's inheritance."
"God says there is no death; your judgment sees but death as the inevitable end of life."
"There are not different kinds of life, for life is like the truth. It does not have degrees. It is the one condition in which all that God created share. Like all His Thoughts, it has no opposite. There is no death because what God created shares His Life. There is no death because an opposite to God does not exist. There is no death because the Father and the Son are One."
"There is no death, because the living share the Function their Creator gave to them. Life's function CANNOT be to die. It must be life's EXTENSION, that it be as One forever and forever, WITHOUT end."
"All living hearts are tranquil, with a stir of deep anticipation, for the time of everlasting things is now at hand. There is no death. The Son of God is free. And in His freedom is the end of fear."
"There is no death because the Son of God is like his Father. Nothing you can do can change Eternal Love. Forget your dreams of sin and guilt, and come with me instead to share the resurrection of God's Son. And bring with you all those whom He has sent to you to care for as I care for you."
"When hatred rests upon a thing, it calls for death as surely as God's Voice proclaims there is no death."
"Salvation seeks to prove there IS no death, and ONLY life exists."
"There IS no death, but there IS a belief in death."
"There is no death. This sword does not exist."
"In the dreams HE brings, there IS no murder, and there IS no death."
"Thus does the miracle undo all things the world attests can never BE undone. And hopelessness and death MUST disappear before the ancient clarion call of life. This call has power FAR beyond the weak and miserable cry of death and guilt. The ancient Calling of the Father to His Son, and of the Son unto his own, will yet be the last trumpet that the world will ever hear. Brother, there is no death. And this you learn when you but wish to show your brother that you had no hurt of him. He thinks your blood is on his hands, and so he stands condemned. But it is given you to SHOW him, by your healing, that his guilt is but the fabric of a senseless dream."
"Death is a human affirmation of a belief in hate. That is why the Bible says "There is no death," and that is why I demonstrated that death does not exist."
"The world attempts a thousand compromises, and will attempt a thousand more. Not one can be acceptable to God's teachers, because not one could be acceptable to God. He did not make death because He did not make fear. Both are equally meaningless to Him."
In the Course, Jesus talks about zombies!!
He says, "let the dead bury the dead".
People in the world in bodies are pretty much the "living dead". Also...
"Miracles fall like drops of healing rain from heaven, on a dry and dusty world, where starved and thirsty creatures come to die."
"Here the deathless come to die, the all-encompassing to suffer loss, the timeless to be made the slaves of time. Here does the changeless change; the peace of God, forever given to all living things, give way to chaos. And the Son of God, as perfect, sinless and as loving as his Father, come to hate a little while; to suffer pain and finally to die."
Being in a body at all, unless your mind is awake and you're about to get outta here, is a state of death. We might think that the physical world is "life", but it's really death. Or at the very least, it is stages of death and preparation for death.
Those whose mind is not with Heaven have chosen to believe in death to some degree, and therefore are identifying themselves as something which is made of death - the ego's idea of living.
This is why all objects and materials and plants and animals and humans and planets and stars all "die" in this universe, because they're already dying because they are FUNDEMANTALLY made of death (separation).
Physical birth IS actually the beginning of DEATH and is NOT the beginning of life. What changes is not alive and cannot be life at all.
So all those people out there, as bodies, and maybe "you" as a body also, are zombies. The living dead.
This is why RESURRECTION makes sense as a RETURN to life. The final resurrection is the complete exit from the "dream of death" (by TRUTH not death), but along the way as you are awakening to truth you are also COMING BACK TO LIFE.
This is why "raising the dead" is not just a matter of restoring life to what seems to be a corpse, which IS entirely possible, but it ALSO means the raising of all those who are in the process of dying, who are unconsciously dreaming, who identify themselves with "things that die", and who are not really fully alive.
Life is ONLY eternal life. Life is not partial living or partial death or fluctuations in-between. God is life and is the giver of life. Not physical forms, but life as Immortal Spirit. The Christ. Son of God. Your Real Self. That is living with God in the living Heaven. This world is not that, although it may come to REFLECT a vision of heaven prior to returning TO heaven.
Resurrection is the raising of the dead back to eternal life and the complete exiting of identification with or limitation by anything which is not of God - i.e. any kind of body. This applies to "dead bodies" as much as it applies to "living bodies", ALL of which are dead.
Life is forever.
If it were true that the dead could not be raised, this would HAVE to mean that those who have gone into unconsciousness and separation and denial and are therefore choosing death, could not be recovered. Those who have fallen asleep into a dream world could not be saved. And those who are the "living dead" walking around believing they are ACIM students could not possibly INCREASE their aliveness.
If it is true that you CAN resurrect, that you CAN awaken from this deadly dream, and that you CAN return to Life, then one way or another, death MUST be reversible. Each time you forgive and claim the atonement, you ARE returning to life and ARE RESURRECTING.
Either resurrection is possible and permanent, or death is possible and permanent. Either death has power over God's Son, or there is potential for God's Son to return to life.
Failing to believe that raising the dead is POSSIBLE, MUST be a belief that resurrection is IMPOSSIBLE. And if you do not believe in resurrection, you do not believe in forgiveness or the undoing of the ego. If you are an ACIM student, you SHOULD believe that raising the dead is entirely possible, otherwise there is no hope for you to return to God.
Only Eternal Life with God is reality.
"The first chaotic law is that the truth is different for everyone. 2 Like all these principles, this one maintains that each is separate and has a different set of thoughts that set him off from others. 3 This principle evolves from the belief there is a hierarchy of illusions; some are more valuable and therefore true. "
Basically the first law means that because you believe there is the absence of love/God within you, there are blocks to awareness, thus divisions, thus levels and hierarchies, and now everyone is separate and in competition. If love is not in you, you now have to find it outside of you.
"The second law of chaos, dear indeed to every worshipper of sin, is that each one must sin, and therefore deserves attack and death."
Since we're all separate and no-one apparently has love in them since it's been denied, we must all be sinners and therefore we all deserve attack and death. Another way to put this is that we now see "someone else" as having denied the love in us, its their fault, so we are justified in attacking them to get it back (even though we did this to ourselves).
"This leads directly to the third preposterous belief that seems to make chaos eternal. 6 For if God cannot be mistaken, He must accept His Son's belief in what he is, and hate him for it."
We then believe that God cannot be the source of love and therefore if God is not a source of love He must be evil and therefore is justified in hating us and wants us to be dead. So our own rejection of His love, creating the illusion of His absence, has rendered Him seemingly like an enemy, and we cannot "go there" to get love or salvation, so we have to find it elsewhere.
"The ego values only what it takes. 2 This leads to the fourth law of chaos, which, if the others are accepted, must be true. 3 This seeming law is the belief you have what you have taken. 4 By this, another's loss becomes your gain, and thus it fails to recognize that you can never take away save from yourself."
We now perceive that we must take from others in order to "get" what we are in need of, and that be taking from them, you can have it. This is a reversal of the fact that in order to have anything real you have to give it/extend it from God. The ego says you can "gain" or increase by accumulating from others against their will, so since all love is now considered "finite and limited" there is only so much to go around, taking it from others must cause them to have less, and so now you can gain by having more.
"But what is it you want that needs his death? 2 Can you be sure your murderous attack is justified unless you know what it is for? 3 And here a final principle of chaos comes to the "rescue." 4 It holds there is a substitute for love. 5 This is the magic that will cure all of your pain; the missing factor in your madness that makes it "sane."
In the fifth and final principle, basically we believe that this substitute for love - specialness - can be taken from others by force, causing in the most extreme cases for them to be drained of it thus murdered, and so their death has given you life, for which you are justified due to their sinfulness. We presume that this magical specialness will cure all of our pain and lack and needs and is what we are "lacking" and thus it will bring us salvation, make us sane, and take away all the emptiness. Except, it does not work.
The only solution to the emptiness is to return to awareness of love's presence within, by undoing all stages of separation and denial and becoming aware again that the truth is true - that we are already love, did not separate, have not lacked, and therefore need do nothing to be the love that we already are.
"This meant that man had no needs at all. If he had not deprived himself, he would never have experienced them. After the Separation, needs became the most powerful source of motivation for human action. All behavior is essentially motivated by needs, but behavior itself is not a Divine attribute. The body is the mechanism for behavior."
"Within HIMSELF he HAS no needs, for light needs nothing but to shine in peace, and from ITSELF, to let the rays extend in quiet to infinity."
"It is a recognition that you HAVE no needs which mean that something must be DONE."
"Father, in Heaven it is different, for there, there are no needs."
"I need do nothing".
If you do not believe you HAVE love, that you are love, and that you share love, you will see yourself as lacking love. This absence of love, emptiness, darkness (absence of light), will form a barrier against the love that is in you, blocking it from sight.
You will then "seek and not find" love FROM anywhere else, because you don't recognize that it is in you already. You'll see yourself as "in need", and DEPENDENT UPON, others, to supply the lack of love to you. This forms the foundation of "special love", in which you want to be loved by anyone BUT YOU, need to be loved, request to be loved, and try to coerce others into loving you. Self hate produces murderous desperation.
A healthy person does not need anyone to love them because not only is God loving them 100%, they are receiving that love and they ARE love. They can't experience the absence of love in themselves, and so have no "need to get love". And so they are now seeking special relationships in which to try to satisfy a gaping hole.
When you are needing love from others, you are believing that you are unworthy of love, so the seeking for love is not really genuine. On the surface is seems like you desperately want love but underneath it's based on the belief that you seriously are lacking it. And both contradictory beliefs are held in unison. So long as this is the case, love won't be received or deeply accepted within you. Nor can anyone give you what you really already have.
It's a myth that we are supposed to be "loved by others". Or rather, it is natural to be loved by everyone but it is unnatural to NEED to be. Love can be shared, but you share love not because you need it. You share it because you HAVE it, and because it brings you joy to increase it by sharing it, by giving it and receiving it equally. As soon as you enter into a lack of love for yourself, you will see love's absence and try in vain to find it somewhere else.
This inevitably is going to produce codependency because now you are in a position of trying to bargain for love, to coerce, to manipulate and control, while also being dependent on the source of that love. Addicted to getting the love from "somewhere else", or "someone else". Feeling like crap when you're not around them. Having an illusion of feeling somewhat better when they're giving you what your ego wants. Upset when they reject you. Unable to SUSTAIN a state of happiness regardless of what people are doing.
We have to be the love. We are the love. Love is our natural inheritance. If we block awareness of it we'll think we don't have it and won't give it. But by giving it you activate the flow and begin to acknowledge that you have it. It's natural to flow love when you are naturally unlimited and not blocked. It doesn't take effort. Being effortlessly loving is natural and miracles are natural expressions of love. But if we can't or are unwilling to acknowledge the perfection, lovability, divinity, holiness, innocence etc in ourselves, we aren't going to allow ourselves to recognize that we have the love already.
God put love in you, because God is love. You are permanently a host to God. Allow God to be in you and through you and you are already filled to overflowing. Reject God and you reject love and become needy. Accept God and you receive love and have no needs.
"The body is the symbol of WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE. It is clearly a separation device, and therefore does not exist."
The body is nothing. It's not something. It's not this or that or these states or conditions. It's not really well or sick. It's not alive or dead. It's actually nothing at all. It doesn't have a meaning or its own purpose. It doesn't have mind or will or causality or power. It doesn't really do anything. It's literally not really there.
When we believe that the body IS something, that it has reality, or has a mind or will, or causes things, or is doing something on its own, or has its own power, this is actually a distortion of the body. It's an attempt to force the body to comply with made up delusional rules and to be something it cannot be. This actually attacks the body and makes it sick. The mind is not accepting that the body is nothing, so instead it's really DENYING what the body is (ie nothing), which is a rejection of it, thus an attack.
To get the body to be healthy, the body has to be recognized as absolutely nothing. This is really forgiveness. The recognition of what is true. If the body is given any credit it does not have, in an attempt to defend it or keep it alive or make it be something, this actually destroys it. When its nothingness is recognized this actually takes all attack away and the body is restored to health. Trying to make the body out to be a real body, or a something body, or a working body, or a living body etc, actually brings about death.
The body is not supposed to be loved, OR hated. You're not supposed to have any real relation to it at all, because it's not there. It's not supposed to be given ANY meaning, either positive or negative. You don't hear this much in ACIM circles or spiritual disciplines. The idea that the body is actually nothing, neutral in a sense, and not biased positively OR negatively.
Jesus refers to the body in the course as not being able to BE sick. That's because it is NOTHING. It isn't a something, so it can't have properties of any kind. It's like an empty image of a body. It's the lack of the presence of spirit, shall we say.
It's the absence of God like a shadow on a wall. Its nothingness means it of itself cannot really be sick or healthy. But the mind that believes the body is real MAKES the body appear to be in sickened forms. Believing in bodies attacks them because it's an attempt to make them be something they're not.
We might think that spirituality is about only being positive, or only denying the negative. But Jesus isn't saying the world or body are fundamentally negative. He's saying they are NOTHINGNESS, pretending to be something. And that's very different from being negative. Their nothingness has to be recognized which means ALL attributes, positive OR negative, have to be taken away. That's why the body cannot be really endowed with attributes of Christ OR the ego. It is nothing at all.
"Sickness is a demand the body be a thing that it is not. Its NOTHINGNESS is guarantee that it can NOT be sick. In your demand that it be MORE than this lies the idea of sickness."
"The body that is asked to be a god WILL be attacked, because its nothingness has not been recognized. And so it seems to be a thing with power IN ITSELF. As something, it CAN be perceived, and thought to feel and act, and hold you in its grasp as prisoner to itself. And it CAN fail to be what you demanded it to be."
"As something, is the body asked to be God's enemy, replacing what He is with littleness and limit and despair. It is HIS loss you celebrate when you behold the body as a thing you love, or look upon it as a thing you hate"
"His body's nothingness releases yours from sickness and from death."
"To roll the stone away is to see beyond the tomb, beyond death, and to understand the body's nothingness. What is understood as nothing must disappear."
"For holiness is POSITIVE, and the body is merely neutral. It is NOT sinful, but neither is it sinless. As nothing, which it IS, the body cannot meaningfully be invested with attributes of Christ OR of the ego. EITHER must be an error, for both would place the attributes where they cannot BE. And BOTH must be undone, for purposes of truth."
"Whenever you question your value, say, "God Himself is incomplete without me."
"God is incomplete without you, simply because His grandeur is total, and you cannot BE missing from it."
"YOU are the work of God, and His Work is wholly loveable and wholly loving. This is how a man MUST think of himself in his heart, because this is what he IS."
Worth, is really a question of value, but even moreso a question of whether something QUALIFIES or "deserves". It's also related to appropriateness. Is it right, that you be loved. So we're also talking about your "rights", or what you are entitled to. Which also relates to what you are allowed, or what is yours, or what belongs to you inherently.
When we form any idea of having sinned, believing in separation, we are actually saying that we no longer qualify. If we have become sinful or guilty, instead of innocent, we have kind of "dropped out" of the running. We've positioned ourselves as not worthy or not capable or not of a quality sufficiently high or appropriate enough to meet the "requirements". By changing the premise to "I'm sinful", the logical conclusion is that you are no longer worthy. And the only sense of unworthiness is a sense of sinfulness against God.
Those who are innocent do meet the requirements of heaven, and so are entitled to heaven. They are entitled to the inheritance of God, and everything belongs to them. But when they attack themselves, they undermine their authority or "permission to access" the benefits which correlate to innocence. By stepping out of innocence we step out of deserving the love of God. At least, we believe this is the case.
If you believe you have sinned, are criminal, are evil or guilty, have done something wrong, messed up, or failed in some way, you will regard yourself as a failure. This is a view of yourself as weak and frail, powerless, hopeless, lost, alone, valueless, incapable, ineffective, not deserving freedom or love, and generally feeling horrible about yourself.
Feeling "unworthy" is kind of a logical conclusion based on the supposed evidence of what you think you did, or what you failed to do. If you see yourself as innocent you see yourself as deserving all of heaven. If you see yourself as guilty you see yourself as deserving all of hell.
This ties in very strongly to the victim role. If you feel unworthy, you will feel deflated, defective, lacking, having nothing much to offer, having very low "value", having no rights and no freedoms. You will feel like a prisoner, as though everyone else gets to decide your fate, as if you have no say in your own life. You'll feel like a kind of slave, undeserving of having any of your needs met, yet feeling very much in need.
Impoverished and empty, you'll regard yourself as not worth being given any attention, or anything. You'll also be afraid all the time because you'll see the whole world as defining your fate on a whim. Secretly this is an attempt to project self-blame onto the world, believing it is blaming you. The world will now seem like it's taking everything away from you and having power over you, because that's what YOU are doing to yourself.
If your value is so low, you will regard yourself as having failed, and therefore as being a failure. If you are a failure, you will feel like there is no point in trying to do anything, because not only do you see yourself as very likely to fail, you'll believe you have already failed before you even begin. This will stop you from doing many things on the basis that you "can't", rooted in some belief that "no-one wants me." Secretly this is your belief that YOU don't want you, projected and reflected back at you.
Of course, being unworthy, you have to believe no-one loves you. That everyone is against you and can "use you" for whatever purposes they see fit, for their own gains, with no regard for yours. This of course is a state that also results from such things as abuse, violence, attack, sexual assault, trauma and so on.
It can leave you feeling helpless and powerless and very "low", like you don't mean anything and have no value. That, even in your own eyes, you don't deserve anything because you aren't worth anything. Like something to be discarded and thrown away which no-one wants. Of course this is how YOU feel about yourself, because it's really you who has decided you are worthless. But by asserting "you're not worth anything" to the world, it reflects back to you from the outside in. A projection of self-hate.
Clearly when you're in such a state, although it feels unfair, and imposed from outside of you, much more likely you are actually the one who has decided that you are unworthy. You have in some way depleted your own idea of your own value. And we're not so much talking here about self-esteem as we are about God-esteem.
The only real value is the value God has of you, regarding your true nature. And so really the only thing in your mind that you care about is whether or not you qualify or meet God's "standards". Whether you are worthy of his love. Whether you deserve forgiveness or punishment. If you believe you are a weak and miseable valueless sinner who isn't worth anything and should be punished and hurt, then you are trying to decide for God what God thinks of you.
You'll do this on the basis of what you think you did. ie, which sins you think you committed, the reasons why you are guilty, the faults and lacks and insufficiencies of your personality or body or mind. The various value systems you yourself have invented and then judged yourself harshly by. Systems which God doesn't even use, because he simply ALWAYS finds you worthy of him.
If you are feeling unworthy, it's really kind of a severe case of a pity party. It's self-inflicted, just as the secret of salvation says. It might seem like it was induced or enforced by someone outside of you but really you went along with it and believed it. You allowed it to affect you and decided to comply with it, because deep down something far worse than other people condemning you is YOU condemning yourself. Only you can hurt yourself so deeply. And it's really just a matter of a lack of self-love.
We have to own up to this because really it's not God who is thinking of you as a miserable sinner or a worthless piece of shit. It's you. It's your self-talk and your self-attack. It's your self-destructiveness. Which when you think about it is quite weird because there you are, feeling utterly shit about yourself, while simultaneously having the total freedom and power to choose to feel that way. And you must've made a wrong decision because you're not at peace.
Taking ownership of your decision to reject God's evaluation of you, and your attempt to overthrow his will, and to ignore his unconditional love, is the only way out of it. You have to be willing to see that you are the one who has decided that your value is extremely low. That you're so worthless you pretty much just deserve to die, because no-one would want you. But hey, even if it seems true that no-one DOES want you, that's their problem and not yours. And it has nothing to do with whether YOU want you.
While you may think well, I can't do this or that because I am a failure and no-one would want me or anything I do, it's really you telling yourself this. It's you not wanting what you do. It's you being hard on yourself. And you shouldn't even be giving other people power over you to decide for you whether you are worthy or not. It's none of their business. God is the only one in the privileged position to determine your real value, and he finds you to be permanently worthy forever. It's not even really up to you.
You can't therefore really obliterate your value or worth, or decide that you deserve to die against God's will. You can pretend to do this, and you can believe in it, but even underneath your utter self-hate there is total self-love. You can't change what is really true of you, no matter how hard you try to destroy yourself. God has guaranteed your sinlessness forever. Your value is inestimable and infinite. And you are worthy and qualify for everything he has to offer. You qualified in your creation!
So if you're feeling low, down, bad about yourself, unworthy, not good enough, undeserving, a failure, weak, powerless, barely worth wiping a shoe on, recognize that this can't be true of you. It's absolutely not true in God's eyes. And it doesn't even matter what other people think of you or how they fail to properly value you. Everyone should be loving you, unless they themselves have failed to love themselves. It says nothing about your worth.
You have to decide to accept your perfection, your innocence, your value, your worth to God, your infinite credibility, your integrity, your divine honor, your holiness and your entitlement to the Kingdom of God. And that means you have to put aside all of the abuse and hurt and pain and misery and reasons "why" you deserve suffering. God does not will that you suffer, and nor should you.
"I who am host to God AM worthy of Him. He Who ESTABLISHED His dwelling-place in me created it as He would have it be."
"The truth about YOU is so lofty that nothing that is unworthy of God is worthy of you."
"But you COULD not make YOURSELF unworthy because YOU ARE THE TREASURE OF GOD. What HE values IS valuable. There CAN be no question of its worth, because its value lies in God's sharing Himself with it and ESTABLISHING ITS VALUE FOREVER."
"EVERY mind that God created is equally worthy of being healed because GOD CREATED IT WHOLE."
"You should know that all God's children are fully worthy of COMPLETE courtesy."
"He always teaches you the inestimable worth of EVERY Son of God, teaching it with infinite patience born of the Love of Him for whom He speaks."
"The Atonement is the only gift which is worthy of being offered to the Altar of God. This is because of the inestimable value of the Altar itself. It was created perfect, and is entirely worthy of receiving perfection. God IS lonely without His SOULS, and THEY are lonely without Him."
"A miracle is a service. It is the maximal service that one soul can render another. It is a way of loving your neighbor as yourself. The doer recognizes his own and his neighbor's inestimable value simultaneously."
If you're carrying around some guilt about something you did wrong, you need to let that shit go.
How long are you supposed to suffer before it's enough suffering to make up for your sin? Do you want a bit more suffering? How much do you deserve?
10 years? 50 years? The rest of your life? Are you so worthless that you don't ever deserve forgiveness? When is it enough suffering that you're done? And what is going to happen when you decide its enough?
Your offering of 'being guilty' is supposedly your GIFT to the world, in an attempt to ATONE or "make up for" the mistake you made. You think that if you walk around feeling guilty about it, that you're appropriately ashamed, and you actually agree that you're supposed to be shameful.
You think this gift of guilt is actually a helpful offering, something that is called for or wanted by everyone else. You think if you remain guilty and carry around your sob story about how awful you are, that you're making up for what you did. And if you be guilty long enough, you "pay back" the suffering that you think you caused someone else.
This is bullshit. Offering guilt to the world to make up for something you did wrong is a DOUBLE OFFENSE. You not only did something wrong, but then you followed it up with this righteous self-punishment agenda where you punish yourself, on behalf of everyone else, to try to make up for it. Like, as if you can atone through suffering. And you think this is your gift to the world but all you've done is a) committed some sin, and then b) followed it up with a prolonged period of moping around acting like a guilty asshole, as if this is helping the situation. So now the world is not only hurt by you, but it's also got to put up with your guilty portrayal of yourself which, while seeming to be self-correcting, is actually just pulling everyone down even more.
How do you compare being guilty to being loving? How is being guilty for doing some wrong BETTER for other people than REPENTING FROM THIS SIN, receiving CORRECTION WITHOUT PUNISHMENT, and then being restored to being LOVING? When you are restored to being loving - which includes loving yourself - you now are in a far better position to actually 'atone', if you will, to make up for what you did. You can now offer a true gift of love and support. You can be more present. You can be more truly helpful and more attentive and available. You can't do that if you're carrying around a big heavy weight of guilt strapped to your ankle.
IT IS BETTER FOR EVERYONE if you forgive yourself and let yourself off the fucking hook, and give yourself a frickin' break, and say hey, I made this mistake, ok... it was a mistake, but it calls only for loving, unconditionally loving compassion and correction, so that I can correct my position to one of LOVE rather than one of being heavy weight of guilt around everyone else's ankles. I need to DROP the guilt and be freed from the burden of sin and shame, otherwise what USE am I to anyone else? How can I actually give anyone anything of TRUE value - true hope, true blessing, true understanding, true love, if I'm totally captivated by my own guilt?
We have to stop believing that guilt IS love. We have to stop offering guilt to everyone as if we're blessing them with it, and especially not taking guilty actions to try to 'make up for' doing something wrong. Guilt-driven actions are further attacks! We have to stop having this stupid ego-driven "guilty conscience" which we seem to think is our judge and jury and which governs and justifies us being punished for making mistakes. Each time we listen to it, it will always say, yup, you did something wrong, you guilty fucker, you deserve to die. That's it. That's how it works. It never says well, you made this mistake, because you were wrong about yourself, because you attacked yourself, and ended up projecting it onto other people as well, but really you deserve LOVE and love is all you need. So throw the guilty conscience away. It paralyzes your entire life and it's purely an ego device!
If you're feeling guilty, you need correction and love, not punishment and hate and shame. When are you going to drop your guilt? When have you suffered enough, needlessly (ALL suffering is needless except to use it to learn that you need not suffer because you're innocence)? When will you stop listening to everyone else's bullshit ego that says, yup, you gotta suffer a really long time you guilty asshole? When will you stop your own agenda of self destruction, for which you ARRANGED events to turn sour, so that you'd have an excuse to chastise yourself? And then it's like, oh, poor me, I guess I do deserve to suffer because I did something wrong, you're right, go ahead and destroy me. Its bullshit.
You need to stop making yourself guilty for every little fucking thing you do whether it's a mistake or not. And you need to drop all of the guilt that you have accumulated which enforces your STORY about WHY you are justified in not being loved by God (which is the secret purpose of your guilt-hood to begin with), and CHOOSE AGAIN to RECLAIM YOUR INNOCENCE. It's the best thing you can do for yourself, for everyone else, even for anyone that you might've harmed in a moment of confusion. The BEST thing you can do for everyone concerned is to RETURN TO LOVE. And this is the best thing you can do even for people you might've hurt because even if THEY can't forgive you continue to project THEIR guilt and hate onto you, you MUST choose innocence for yourself otherwise you're just making the whole situation worse.
And if we're sane about this, we have to say, that we should be ENCOURAGING all of our enemies and attackers and abusers and everyone else to BECOME LOVE, to be forgiven, to be recognized as innocent and to become OUR SAVIOR. This is the only way that our brother becomes our savior and Jesus speaks on this at great length in ACIM. You brother isn't going to be your savior if you can't WANT for them to be restored to a state of perfect innocence. And you can't BE a brother to someone if you're not willing to FORGIVE YOURSELF and ALLOW YOURSELF to be innocent. It's in everyone's best interests for anyone making a mistake to be healed and loved so that they can return to equality and unconditionality, otherwise they will ONLY drag down the entire brotherhood. It is counter productive to keep enemies as enemies because it only ensures that YOU are more likely to be attacked again. You can't remove attackers by punishing them, only be healing them. Rehab!
You're useless to the world when you're guilty. Stop it. Stop playing the "poor me, I'm guilty and unworthy, you better not love me" card. The secret purpose of this card is to have an EXCUSE for why God should not love you. Your failure to forgive yourself requires you to justify it with explanations for why you SHOULD suffer. "He who would not forgive must judge, to justify his failure to forgive" - ACIM. Stop justifying why you need to be guilty, for anything. YOU DESERVE COMPLETE FORGIVENESS.
You are God's creation. You are God's child. You are INNOCENT FOREVER. Stop putting yourself down and stop using other people to put you down, and stop using your stories about your mistakes to enforce why you should be stepped all over or why God can't possibly love you. You implicitly DESERVE ALL OF THE LOVE IN THE WORLD. Period. Unconditionally. Right now. Your guilt facade isn't helping anyone, least of all you.
Nobody really cares if you're guilty or ashamed or not. If they really want you to be guilty, THEY have a problem with making themselves guilty. That's their game which they are projecting onto you. Fuck em. You need to take back your power and stop being a deliberate victim about the mistakes you made. They are just mistakes. There is not a single mistake in all of the history of the world that calls for punishment. All mistakes are a CALL FOR LOVE. God is not holding a single thing against you. You cannot sin. You haven't sinned. You will never sin. You're just having a case of mental illness and thinking that you're sane when you're confused, and making mistakes in error because you've lost touch with the truth. That's all. Nobody is to blame for this. All you need is HEALING. That's all. Mistakes call for healing and restoration and for your RETURN TO UNION AND ACCEPTANCE with everyone else.
Take your life back. Everyone else can fuck off with their judgements and shaming. You deserve to be forgiven.
Fail not in your function of loving in a loveless place, made out of darkness and deceit, for thus are darkness and deception UNdone.
This is something I think we've all struggled with. It seems the world is cruel, vicious, hateful, dangerous, murderous, and at times evil. It is filled with horros and torment and suffering and death. How can you love such a place?
It seems that when the world is being evil, you can't love it. More likely you will despise it, hate it, fear it, judge it as wrong, or consider it broken. How can you feel love in the face of atrocities and attack, or when you are witnessing war and destruction?
It then seems even insane to suggest that while the world is being evil, you can love it. Because this implies that somehow you love evil. If the evil is really happening, and it seems real to you, you logically HAVE to despise it. To love evil is itself unthinkable, and seems insane.
What occurred to me today, is that approaching the "how to love it" from this angle, is really looking at a special relationship. We're talking in terms of what the world is causing in us, how we are reacting to it, and how we are affected by it. What IT is doing to us and others, and whether or not IT is CAUSING US to love it. ie we JUDGE it to be lovable.
In specialness, we believe that something outside of us affects us. It can affect us positively or negatively. We believe it causes us and has power over us. We then seem to PREFER that it treat us well, and if it does, we will love it. And if it turns on us, we will hate it.
It's within that framework that we are stuck, when asking how we can love a cruel world. And it seems we can never love the world, because it is always messing up. If the world remains cruel, it is not going to inspire love. More likely it will inspire revoltion and bitterness.
If I allow my relationship with the world to be based on what the world "does to me", and if I'm waiting for the world to be RESPONSIBLE for causing me to love it, then chances are that how I feel about the world will waver by the minute.
Sometimes the world might seem loving, perhaps a lovely sunset or a pleasant smell. We then say that we love it, and become enamored with it. Then we see a car crash and are horrified, just as the smell of death wafts into our noses.
When we are worshipping idols, we are looking for those aspects of the world which "we like" or approve of, or prefer. We may even become obsessed with them, collectors or them, trying to gather them up to surround and immerse ourselves in them. The foods we like, our favorite color, the music we like, our favorite shows, toys and games we like to play with, etc. So long as we avoid the rest and pretend it's not there.
In this mindset we can only sporadically, conditionally, love the world. We love it when it seems to CAUSE us to love it. When it does something TO us that we prefer, we clap our hands. When it seems to meet our rules and does FOR us what we have assigned it responsibility to do.
Responsibility, however, also ties into the cause of sin. If we assign responsibility to the world, and it does not do what we want it to do, we consider it in violation of its duties. And now it has failed to act responsibly, or do what we wanted it to do, and it has now acted against our will, sinning against us.
We can't love the world like this. We can't love it on a basis of what it does to us or for us. In fact we can't love it on a basis of it doing anything at all. It can't be what the world IS that makes us love it. Nor can it be because of what it DOES, whether things we like or not. It can't be some effects we prefer, while despising others. Our love can't be based on the world being RESPONSIBLE for whether we love it or not.
What I'm learning is that a feeling of love or happiness is not supposed to be a REACTION to the world, or something the world causes in me. I shouldn't be feeling love for the world on the basis of what I GET from it or what IT is like. Love based on the world's CONDITIONS is conditional love - special love.
Love actually is supposed to be an outward expression FROM WITHIN, extended from the unconditionality and permanence of God. It is something I GIVE TO what is out there. And this giving should not happen as a reaction, or on the basis of adjusting to external conditions. Nor should I be doing it ONLY when the world lines up with my wishes. Expectation is not love.
The world should be loved, ONLY because YOU are loving, and not because OF the world. We're not loving it for its lovely scenery. We're not loving it's cute animals. And we're not loving it for the things it does for us. These are all special relationships.
We don't want to be getting lost in a state of idol worship or external dependency or only being happy based on worldly conditions. If we jump up and down when the world is in a certain configuration, or cower in fear and hate when it is in another, we are merely on a rollercoaster ride of fake happiness and despair.
The world, itself, is going to keep on being intermittently cruel and vicious and hateful and warring and decaying and deadly. It is going to continue operating within the laws which established it as a weapon against God.
It will try to delight you some of the time, and try to take away your peace at others. It will inspire guilt and fear and continue to attack itself in all its ways. You can't place your happiness or love on such unsure footing, or give the world the POWER to take it away from you when it wishes.
An inner love arises as you forgive yourself and love yourself, applying love at all times. This inner love has permanent qualities. It is unconditional. It is not a REACTION of love. It is not a love you only feel IF or WHEN certain conditions are met. It's a love you just feel, hopefully all the time, for "no seeming reason". "Happiness is a constant state."
It comes FROM WITHIN, and expresses outward. It shines ONTO the world. It is something you GIVE to the world. You PROJECT love onto it. And you then SEE the love you put there, mixed in with the world's cruelty. You enjoy it ONLY because you EN-JOY it, which means to GIVE IT JOY. Love is its own reward.
"Peace is impossible to those who look on war. Peace is inevitable to those who ***offer peace***. How easily, then, is your judgment of the world escaped. It is not the world which makes peace seem impossible. It is the world you see that is impossible."
The world IS a world of impossibilities. It cannot represent love or freedom. It cannot be real. It cannot be true. It is its nature to attack and destroy. That was what it was made to do. But to see only this is to judge it and hold it against itself. Only by GIVING peace and love TO it can you FEEL peace and love in relationship with it.
"Yet has God's Judgment on this distorted world redeemed it and made it fit to welcome peace. And peace descends on it in joyous answer. Peace now belongs here, because a Thought of God has entered. What else but a Thought of God turns hell to Heaven merely by being what it is?"
This projected love changes the framing of the world, and what it means. It shows you that the world's cruelty is not true or real. That it is just an illusion of sickness and suffering. That its images of death are not really death, because they are fake, and powerless to change you.
And at the same time, you look upon love IN SPITE OF the world, thus PUTTING LOVE THERE to see. This is the projection of the "real world", with which you OVERRIDE hell with heaven. And what you project you will perceive.
You OVERRIDE the world with your extension of happiness. You remain happy NO MATTER WHAT is happening, not because of some kind of "acceptance of it" but because of your REFUSAL to allow the world to come INTO you from the outside. You have power OVER it and dominate it with what you radiate. You are master of it. And you experience love because you chose to.
You really cannot love the world from the perspective of expecting the world to BE LOVABLE. The world is NOT lovable. No-one can make murder and death real and love it. That would be insane, to be in love with evil.
The only way to love is to recognize the evil is NOT REAL. It is not compatible with love. The world makes love IMPOSSIBLE. The only way TO love is to love it in spite of itself. And as such, you can love unconditionally precisely because you love IN SPITE OF the world being cruel. This also grants you the miraculous power to override its cruelty.
I find myself now, more often, smiling upon the world - upon subtle things, small objects, textures, colors. Feeling an inner sense of projected beauty. A sort of gentle happiness that bestows love, which shines upon, the world. And this is not because of what the world IS or what it DOES. It is because of what I am GIVING to it. Because I am staying IN MY LIGHT and shining it ONTO what I see, even if faced with a twisted hell.
It is more like an inner choice. A choice to love, regardless of what something is. To love something, even if it is a picture of brokenness or damage or malfunction. Not because IT is lovable, in its form or nature, but because I can CHOOSE to love, and will not ALLOW the thing to interfere with whether I am loving or not.
This means a love which is not DEPENDENT upon the world, triggered BY the world, or an EFFECT OF the world. It is not a love I GET FROM the world, and reciprocate, in some kind of bargain.
It is a love which is given outward TO the world, regardless of whether it seems to deserve it. Because *I* deserve it. Because if I stop being love, then I stop experiencing love. If I let my love switch on and off depending on externals, then I am a victim of the world, allowing it to affect me both positively and negatively.
Real love, or let's say, a holy relationship with the world, can only take place by IGNORING what the world suggests, and REPLACING IT with love. Giving it love even when IT hates, recognizing IT as calling for love.
We're told in ACIM that the cruel world is NOT the world God could love. And this makes perfect sense. But it also tells us that God loves the REAL world. God DOES love HIS PROJECTION OF LOVE. He gives peace, and sees peace. He feels love, and so is loving "toward" the world REGARDLESS of what the world is like. He doesn't love it BECAUSE OF what it is. He loves it IN SPITE of what it is. In spite of its evil ways.
If you think about this, it ties in properly with forgiveness. Unconditional love overlooks and ignores what something claims about itself, and sees past its illusion, and sees love instead. And only because it GIVES love and innocence.
Not because the thing is "being innocent". The world cannot be sinless or guiltless. "To see a sinless body is impossible." But we can choose to not believe in sin and guilt, and to thus project forgiveness and light UPON a sinful world. And we then see the reflection of our light, or of God, IN it. Because we PUT it there.
No one can love the world we made, on the basis of it being lovable, or on the basis of it acting lovingly. It is not that, and it cannot be that. It will always be a world of separation and death for as long as it appears to exist.
But we can love ... while the world seems to be there... in spite of what IT says or does, even WHILE it is being cruel, because the choice to love does not DEPEND on the world, or come from it. We can love in the FACE OF cruelty, in spite of the cruelty, which will render the cruelty seen with loving eyes. But this will not JUSTIFY the cruelty, because the love is not BASED ON the cruelty.
This is the only way to "love hell". No one can love hell, on the basis of what hell does to or offers them. The world in fact holds NOTHING that you want, and has NOTHING to give you. It effectively has NO redeeming qualities. Because it is nothing.
"The world can ADD nothing to the power and the glory of God and His Holy Sons"
But you can "love hell" - which does not mean BEING IN SPECIAL LOVE WITH hell, on the basis of what you OFFER TO IT. You be loving, even when surrounded with evil people. You can love unconditionally regardless of whether the world was made from love. It wasn't made of love, and never will be. But this must not stop us from loving. Otherwise we cannot feel happy.
Our challenge is to stay strong IN OUR LIGHT, even when confronted with evil. To remain IN THE TRUTH, even when faced with lies and deception. To remain IN POWER, even when the world pretends to take power away. And to NOT ADJUST to the world in any way, or allow it to cause us to waver or change our decision to love. This is the only way God is able to love the world. To love it, because he can do nothing BUT love, REGARDLESS of whether the world "is lovable" or not.
"The world you see cannot be the world God loves, and yet His Word assures us that He loves the world. God's Word has promised us that peace is possible here, and what He promises can hardly be impossible. But it is true that the world must be looked at differently, if His promises are to be accepted. What the world is, is but a fact. You cannot choose what this should be. But you can choose how you would see it. Indeed, you must choose this."