The world's idea of the most ideal relationship is where you find the chosen one and give them all your love. But you don't give that same love to anyone else. The chosen one gets exclusive access, special rights, permissions and trust. But this exclusivity means that the love is conditional, and is switched off around other people. The two of you will likely side with each other against everyone else.
While the ego and the body and the world might suggest that this is the only natural way to relate, as if everyone is supposed to be paired up with one person, it is actually highly unnatural. If you follow this kind of relationship dynamic to its extreme conclusion, it would mean that the person you love is the person you most imprison, and you live in a prison with them in order to keep everyone else away from you. They become a safe haven in the storm, and everyone else is left outside.
Unconditional love is a kind of love that doesn't change based on who you are with or where you are or what you're doing. It gives all of the love to all of the people all of the time. It doesn't pick favourites, nor does it hold back the love only to give it to those who have met your standards, or you like them, or they have something in common, or they aren't seemingly against you. Love just loves always in one single response to everything. This is total holy relationship, which is inclusive not exclusive.
Trying to love only one person or only a small group of people is quite a confined and ego-driven form of love. It's an attempt to narrow love down and only hand it out to the most special winners of the human contest. And if you can only trust that one person you will have mistrust of just about everyone. What would Jesus do? Would Jesus hold off on loving someone because they aren't apparently his closet companion?
Special love is imprisoned love, conditional love, and limited love. Special love is actually an attempt to cover up all the special hate you have for everyone by selecting the most ideal and agreeable person that you seem have the least hate for.
"The special love relationship is an attempt to limit the destructive EFFECTS of hate, by finding a haven in the storm of guilt."
"The special love relationship is NOT perceived as of value IN ITSELF, but as a place of safety, from which hatred is split off, and KEPT APART. The special love partner is acceptable ONLY as long as he serves this purpose."
"the special love relationship is an attempt TO BRING LOVE INTO SEPARATION."
"The special love relationship is the ego's chief weapon for keeping you from Heaven."
"To believe that SPECIAL relationships, with SPECIAL love, can offer you salvation, IS the belief that separation is salvation."
"Beyond the poor attraction of the special love relationship, and ALWAYS obscured by it, is the powerful attraction of the Father for His Son. There is no OTHER love that can satisfy you, because there IS no other love. This is the ONLY love that is fully given, AND FULLY RETURNED. Being complete, it asks nothing. Being wholly pure, everyone joined in it HAS everything. This is NOT the basis for ANY love relationship in which the ego enters. For EVERY relationship on which the ego embarks IS special. The ego establishes relationships ONLY to GET something. And it would keep the giver BOUND TO ITSELF, through guilt."
From a human perspective we might think of life as starting and birth and ending in death. This is typical ego self-interest of course.
The world itself is more of a cyclic, regurgitating, constant transformation and change, transitioning from birth to death and back to birth again.
There are things in this world which seem to be new, to be born, new babies, new leaves, new offspring, new mornings, etc. It's not all about endings.
There are foods which are technically dead foods, which are fed to babies. What do baby tigers eat other than the carcasses of dead animals?
The rotting corpses of humans become food for worms and bacterias and flies, which use it to manufacture newborn worms and bacterias and flies. And so death becomes life again.
Cells divide and produce what seems to be new life forms. And yet the very same division ensures their eventual breakdown and dysfunction. They are born in separation and end in separation.
Technically when a human body dies, the materials the body is made of do not vanish. They just change form and redistribute. If buried they become the soil from which flowers grow. The chemical compounds become fertiliser and the building blocks for new growths.
Even as the tree leaves die off, the leaves settle to the ground and rot, but thus turn into rich soil, which in turn becomes the fertile ground for the emergence of new trees.
Around and around it goes, cycling from starts to endings and back to starts again. Birth and death are just two sides of the same coin. We seem to prefer one over the other, celebrating births and hating deaths, but they're really part of the same system.
As science would say, nothing here can really be destroyed, it can only change form. It's all energy, moving around and turning into one thing then another. This is the world's way. It's not really just a world of what we'd call death, it's also a world of what we'd call life. Life from corpses.
"It holds an image of the Son of God in which he is "laid to rest" in devastation's arms, where worms await to greet him and to last a little while by his destruction."
Illusions back and forth, sometimes it seems alive, sometimes dead. A world of opposites. A world of contrasts. A world of changes. Where even death is not a final end, because the materials of the dead become the materials of the living.
The whole system is one of every possible form of change, every appearance, every shift and change and transformation. Every way possible that there is no permanence and no absolutes. Not even physical death is absolute. It's all relativity.
A birth is just as much an illusion as a death. A newborn flower is just as much dead as a wilted one. And so the world mixes life and death together without really differentiating them, and thus producing confusion. It's only us humans who keep segmenting it out and labelling some parts as one thing or another.
"This is regarded as "the way of nature," not to be raised to question, but to be accepted as the "natural" law of life. The cyclical, the changing and unsure; the undependable and the unsteady, waxing and waning in a certain way upon a certain path"
Yes ultimately all physical things lead to what we call death, but so too are the new things just as much a part of dreaming. Sunrises and sunsets. Births and deaths. A phoenix rising from the ashes. Ashes becoming bodies again. It's all a big soup of uncertainty and untruth.
"There IS no life outside of Heaven. Where God created life, there life must be. In ANY state apart from Heaven, life is illusion. At best, it SEEMS like life; at worst, like death. Yet both are judgments on what is NOT life, equal in their inaccuracy and lack of meaning."
I've seen that many people think we're supposed to "forgive the world", in that we find ways to "see it differently." Because this is PART of what the course says. Change your mind about the world etc.
But this tends to lead us to a sort of assumption that the world is the TARGET of the forgiveness, such that we're trying to be nicer to IT. As though we'll end up with a better, happier relationship WITH it.
But I see this as short-sighted. Because in fact the way forgiveness works, we have to actually overlook bodies, and look beyond form, and see past the veil of matter. The aim is to see the light of Christ, the face of Christ, which is HIDDEN BY the world.
It's by overlooking the world that we look TO the light, and find the real world. Which is not the physical world. And then INDIRECTLY, the physical world becomes forgiven or seen in another light.
I think when we consider the purpose or functionality of forgiving the world as looking squarely AT the world in a different way, we're missing the point. We're not really supposed to be prioritising finding a better way to look at bodies and planets. The purpose of forgiveness is to NOT SEE them, so that we are restored to being able to seen heaven.
In fact we're told that we will awaken to the Kingdom when we put our full attention on it, essentially forgetting the physical world entirely.
We have to be careful then with this idea of forgiving "things", or bodies or places or stuff in the world. Our aim isn't really to first and foremost cosy up to matter and snuggle into bed with it. It's to find a way to rise up OUT of and BEYOND, to recognize it as nothing and see it diminish in our sight. Its undoing is the atonement - the cancellation of the dream.
It's easy to think that we do a forgiveness, for example, by "forgiving that person for what they did" or whatever. But what's the end result, keeping the person in a body and seeing the body and trying to be nicer to it? This can't really work because to see the body requires guilt and grievances. The aim should be to see their body LESS and to see their spiritual self MORE.
I see that some people have become lost in this, thinking spacetime is God's murderous creation, and seek to "forgive the world" DIRECTLY instead of indirectly, thus holding it up in front of their faces and screaming love at it to try to make it be something it's not. This is not going to work, because the world isn't real and isn't capable of reciprocating or creating.
We're not here to have a special relationship with an illusory fictional planet. We're here to undo the story and collapse space and time and watch the world spin back into nothingness. Because we don't need it. God already gave us a Kingdom.
"Forget not the Kingdom of God (heaven) for anything the world (spacetime, earth) has to offer. The world (of bodies) can ADD nothing to the power and the glory of God and His Holy Sons, but it CAN blind the Sons to the Father if they behold it (if you see it, your view of God is blocked). You cannot behold the world (see matter) and know God. Only one is true." UrT8F2
"To forgive is to OVERLOOK (not see the world). Look, then, BEYOND error (beyond spacetime), and do not let your perception rest UPON it (upon the physical), for you will believe what your perception HOLDS. Accept as true only what your brother IS (spirit), if you would know yourself. Perceive what he is NOT (bodies), and you CANNOT know what you are, BECAUSE you see HIM falsely (as matter)." UrT9C1
One of Jesus's big teachings is. ... love your enemies. But I'm finding that a lot of people (largely less spiritual people) have a MAJOR issue with this.
Particularly around issues of abuse, victimhood, trauma, rape, child abuse, torture, those sorts of things. Things where it seems like the victim has been unfairly treated, where there has been violence and trauma and great difficulty. In amongst these unhealed wounds it is very hard to look upon the 'sinner' as sinless.
Jesus' teaching IS clear, that regardless, EVERYONE IS SUPPOSED TO LOVE EVERYONE.
That means loving your enemies, loving criminals, loving hateful people, loving bullies, loving rapists and murderers, loving hitler, loving terrorists, loving serial killers, all of it. Jesus loves all of them and is asking us to do the same. How many people are going to CRINGE at the thought of that?
Just because someone acts out from ego and does something stupid or crazy like hurting another, does not mean they are sinful. It does not mean they aren't calling for love and help. VERY likely the person is themselves a "victim" of some form of "un-love" from themselves and others, which has led to their current state, with which they need help and healing.
MANY people in this world would not say that they are willing to love someone who has done something horrendous. This is a DIFFICULT area for even seasoned forgivers. It's easier to forgiven friends and family and coworkers, much harder to forgive those figures who seem to represent tyranny and murder and horror.
The thing is, if we don't love these people, we are just as bad. What is our alternative, to hate them? But this is what many of us do. We hate the people that we think deserve it because of their crimes and behaviours. We don't want to love them, we think they don't deserve it. We want to see them dead. Well, what does that say about us, murderous hateful vengeful people? Do we want to be that?
It will take a lot to step up and be willing to forgive what appear to be sins and crimes and terrible acts. It will take a lot to forgive them because "they know not what they do", and to RECOGNIZE in them a call for love. To be able to discern, there is far more to the person than just this particular area of behaviour or egotism.
There is some good in everyone. No-one is purely evil. Everyone is welcomed by God. I'm often reminded that God loves ALL the people that I don't love, which is humbling. If God is loving them, why aren't I? I have to be willing to love everyone unconditionally and without reservation otherwise I am NOT BEING LOVING, which places me entirely into a category of a nasty hateful person. I don't want to be that and hopefully you don't either.
Jesus essentially teaches in the cours the difficult truth - that what is not love is murder. If you do not LOVE the murderers, you are murderous yourself. That's a tough pill to swallow because now it renders victims and sufferers as just as much murderous if they don't love their victimisers. A difficult lesson for sure. But we HAVE TO TRY to find a way to love everyone if WE want to experience love.
If you don't love them, you don't love yourself, because they are part of you.
"What is NOT love IS murder. What is not loving MUST be an attack." UrT23E2
"The prayer for enemies thus becomes a prayer for your own freedom." UrS1C5
"And happily your brother will perceive the many friends he thought were enemies." UrT27F6
"Do I DESIRE a world in which I have NO enemies, and CANNOT sin?" UrT21H6
ACIM should've started out with a really explicit statement like "planet earth does not exist, human bodies do not exist, and space and time do not exist." You know, for all those stubborn and delusional folk who continually cling to them and insist that they do. Oh wait...
"Yet it can be but an illusion, because time does not exist "
"The body does not really exist"
"And gone are bodies in the blazing light upon the altar to the Son of God."
"A no time does the body really exist."
"The body is the symbol of WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE. It is clearly a separation device, and therefore does not exist."
"Let us today behold earth disappear" "There is no world."
"And once all guilt is gone what more remains to keep a separated world in place? For place has gone as well, along with time. "
"and in that instant is the world forgot, with time forever ended as the world spins into nothingness from where it came."
"God did not make the body, because it is destructible, and therefore not of the Kingdom."
"the sorry gifts of earth are joyously relinquished"
"The sky embraces it, and softly holds it in its perfect place, which is as far from earth as earth from Heaven."
"Yet he whom I forgive will give me gifts beyond the worth of anything on earth."
"Time remains only to let the last embrace of prayer rest on the earth an instant, as the world is shined away. This instant is the goal of all true healers"
"The little things of earth have disappeared."
"The stars will disappear in light, and the sun, which opened up the world to beauty, will vanish."
"The world you see is an illusion of a world. God did not create it." ... "The time will come when all things visible will have an end."
"There is nothing on earth with which it can compare, and nothing you have ever felt, APART from Him, that resembles it ever so faintly."
"The things of earth are left behind, all unremembered."
"How could there be a meeting place at all where earth and Heaven can be reconciled within a mind where both of them exist?"
"The body is the symbol of the world. Leave it behind. It cannot enter Heaven. But I can take you there anytime you choose. Together we can watch the world disappear and its symbol vanish as it does so."
"The world can ADD nothing to the power and the glory of God and His Holy Sons, but it CAN blind the Sons to the Father if they behold it. You cannot behold the world and know God."
"earth the other's sorry outcome which is Heaven's opposite in every way"
"Without the idea of death there is no world. All dreams will end with this one."
"Others find it in experience that is not of this world, which shows them that the world does not exist because what they behold must be the truth, and yet it clearly contradicts the world."
"Today's idea is true because the world does not exist."
"What if you recognized this world is a hallucination? What if you REALLY understood you made it up? What if you realized that those who SEEM to walk about in it, to sin and die, attack and murder and destroy themselves, are WHOLLY unreal?"
"The real world is the second part of the hallucination time and death are real, and have existence which can be perceived. This terrible illusion was denied in but the time it took for God to give His Answer to illusion for ALL time and EVERY circumstance."
Sometimes I want to be a healer. I want to be the one that helps or fixes or heals someone. But in this there is an authority problem. I seem to believe that I must be the 'source' of this healing, or that I must do something of myself. Even if I am perhaps involving Holy Spirit in this effort, it'll still be as though I'm trying to get Him to do what I think needs to be done.
Recently I've been in a situation where someone was sick and I could not do anything whatsoever to help it. I tried. A lot. But nothing worked. At all. This was a lesson. It showed me that I cannot do anything on my own and it also inspired me to seek out 'supernatural' and Spirit-driven possibilities. And it was important to see this, even though it was painful. Without recognizing I can't do anything by myself, I would just keep trying and not be willing to surrender.
The truth now has become clear. God is the one who wants to heal. And the healing might come through me for others. But the purpose of the healing is for others, from God to them, and really I am meant to just be a channel/conduit/facilitator. I need to get my authority-problem ego out of the way and act as a bridge.
It's not me that does the healing. It's God/Holy Spirit/Jesus. And therefore, because they are involved, I need to respectfully ask them for their input and help since, after all, maybe they don't want to heal someone or maybe it isn't an appropriate miracle. Jesus does warn that miracles should not be "under conscious control" and that we should not perform them "indiscriminately", since this may lead to ineffective sporadic outcomes or inappropriate side-effects.
I believe this now to mean that I should get my conscious-controlling ego out of the way and be working WITH God/Holy Spirit/Jesus rather than have them working for me. I do not need to be the one who decides whether healing will take place or not, I just need to show up and offer my openness to connect to God and extend His healing.
This really is just a matter of clarity, putting things in their proper perspective. And it is really a hard lesson to learn that God is the one with the Authority and I am just here to extend HIS Creation. My ego wants to be in control, or to be the hero, or the fixer/savior, but IT cannot do anything that works. Love is the motivating force behind miracles, no wishes or guilt or projected dysfunction or making sickness real and then trying to 'correct' it. It is still my function to see others as not sick and not sinful, so that I can allow God's love to bridge the gap and connect with them. This is all so different to how my ego fundamentally wants to function. It is the reversal of the authority problem, which takes a great deal of surrender.
Once you do surrender and admit that you are powerless and cannot do anything alone, then you can at least become open-minded about the possibility that God can help FOR you, that Holy Spirit can do this FOR you, and that you don't even need to be the one to fix things. Let go and let God. The future is now more exciting, healing-wise, simply because I am aligning more with God and allowing His healing to flow, rather than getting in the way or interfering. It's a tough lesson to stop fixing or meddling or correcting or believing in sickness, all of which compels me to fight with sickness instead of stepping back to forgive, recognizing that reality that there IS no sickness or death because that is not God's truth.
There are a set of steps by which your own sin comes to find itself inside of your brother.
1) Believe you are sinful (oops, are you sure?)
2) Grab ahold of that sin
3) Hand it over to your brother and shove it down his throat (project)
4) Disassociate yourself from it and wash your hands of it
5) Put on your 'happy face' and pretend you are innocent
6) Point a finger at the sin, which is now in your brother
7) Accuse your brother's sin of being evil, and attack it
You then see sin in your brother and seemingly 'not' in yourself, because your mask of pretend innocence HIDES the fact that the sin is still in you and never left. The face of innocence covers up your guilt and makes everyone believe you didn't do it.
The one left holding the baby is then your brother in whom you see your projected sin, and you attack him for it, to make sure it stays well away from you.
At the same time, you are then terried that your own sin, which you got rid of, might come back to haunt you. You start to suspect it's going to attack you, find you, hunt you down and enact itself upon you again.
As this is playing out, it seems to transpire that 'the sin' does indeed come back to attack you, manifested in forms of punishment and victimhood, seemingly done 'by' the person in whom you shoved your sin, and now you get to claim:
"I am an innocent victim, I did not ask for this, they are attacking me without my will, the sin is in them, look look I can see the sin in them, it's all their fault".
Well, pretty convenient, to keep up this charade, given that it conceals the sin in you, within your own mind, and puts on a show that you are not sinful at all. You're trying to convince yourself and everyone around you that you do not believe you are the sinner, all the while keeping your sin hidden in the shadows of your mind underneath your blanket of fake innocence.
Now, to reverse this is going to mean, you have to take off the fake mask of innocence, you are going to have to stop being a victim, AND - horror of all horrors - you are going to have to TAKE BACK the sin that you shoved into your brother. It's yours, anyway. You have to separate your brother from your sin, i.e. from the guilt. You have to find a way to see them as innocent and as not `owning` the sin. It's not theirs. They are not sinful.
But you don't really want to do this because if you take back your sin, lo and behold, your mask of innocence (which was a total farce) has to be taken off of yourself, and you have to come face to face again with the sin being IN YOU. You do not like the sin being in you, that's why you tried to get rid of it in the first place.
So why would anyone 'seemingly' in their right mind want to take off their lovely sheen of innocence and own up to being a sinner? It's not exactly an attractive offer.
However, until you do this you have no chance to really heal it. And there is a healing option. If you take it quickly to Holy Spirit and let Him decide whether it's true or not, he will guarantee to find you ALWAYS innocent. It's pretty easy, but you have to be open minded about ACCEPTING that it's true that you're innocent.
There is a way out of hell.
The separation HAS occurred.
Denying this is an improper use of the mind.
The separation is the BELIEF, that it is possible to separate from God. This BELIEF has produced what this belief WANTS to see, which is spacetime, a world of bodies and objects. This is "the separation."
This is not ACTUAL separation because we cannot separate from God. The separation, and separation from God, are two different things.
We HAVE believed in being separate and we are now living INSIDE of that belief. The tiny mad idea has turned into a universe.
To DENY that we have done this, which actually IS something we've done, because we've HAD the thought, AND believed it - two acts which have in fact occurred in the mind and are NOT fiction, is an improper use of denial.
The mind IS dreaming of spacetime. The mind IS making a world. It IS calling out for love and for help and needs correction. It's a mis-creation, in an attempt to "create destructively", but it is still something we're "doing" nevertheless. Denying this is pointless and denies the power of the mind.
We are told in fact to ACKNOWLEDGE that we have done this, SO THAT we can thus stop being in denial, and THEN having acknowledged what we'e made, moving toward atonement in the mind to 'fix' this mental state that's causing the world.
There is no point in denying the world that we made. In fact to do so is to deny the power in the mind that makes the world. If we deny what we mis-created we are denying HOW we mis-created. It takes IMMENSE power to make planets and galaxies.
Instead, as a pathway towards awakening, we are asked to find a different way to LOOK AT what we made, in a more forgiving light, so that we can change what it means to us and how we use it. Or toward what goal. Re-purposing it is the way of TRANSLATING our experience of it.
No amount of asseting "its not real, its a dream its an illusion, it's not happening" etc is going to actually undo it. We're asked to develop a different attitude about it and to find a way to see heaven reflected in it FIRST, as a necessary step toward a HAPPY DREAM, so that our mind can be ready to stop dreaming.
Attempting to jump all the way to "its nothing, its not real" is a spiritual bypass which is trying to jump to the end condition without doing the work, without healing in the world, without performing miracles, without finding the forgiven world or the real world. And it produces a lot of level confusion.
We have to deal with where we are at and how we're going to use where we're at for a higher purpose, rather than attempting to escape off to live on a cloud in ignorance of what our mind is experiencing here and what other minds are experiencing here. People are in great need of help - that's not fictional because minds HAVE become insane.
We DO have to find a way to love the world and forgive the world and to help heal others IN ORDER TO heal ourselves, BEFORE we can wake up to the truth that "there is no world". We DO have to become miracle workers, serving in the atonement plan, BEFORE we can accept atonement fully.
There are steps to be taken in time, BEFORE we can be ready to fully embrace eternity. There is a curriculum. There are lessons to learn. God's plan does not ential you bypassing the curriculum and not living your life.
The PURPOSE of a "course", is that you TAKE the course, so that you can learn how to do something, and then AFTER you have taken the course, you are now ABLE to do that thing WITHOUT needing the course itself any more. A course in "mind training" trains your mind, so that ONCE TRAINED, your mind is able to DO something it could not do before.
But with ACIM, a lot of our focus is taken up with struggling TO learn the course, arguing about what it even says or means, and believing that to learn it is to understand what it says. We're fixated on and lost in the pages instead of USING it to undo the NEED for it.
The whole POINT of it though is to TURN YOU INTO A MIRACLE WORKER. And having GRADUATED from the course, you should then be able to perform miracles and be a teacher of God like Jesus.
We spent a lot of time being hung up with the words, what it says what it means, what the metaphysics are, the implications, taking it like a kind of philosophical study, sometimes using it, applying it, as if applying it or doing the lessons is the PURPOSE of the course. But the purpose of the lessons etc is change your mind to get it into a state WHERE you are THEN able to USE what you have learned.
The lessons teach you something and then LATER you USE what has been taught. And yet people get so hung up on the idea that the lessons themselves, or applying the principles, IS the whole course. Well, within the context of the course itself yes, but the whole purpose of even doing this "mind training" is so that you END UP with a trained mind that CAN ACCOMPLISH something.
We shouldn't get so hung up on the course ITSELF. It's there for a reason to serve as a tool and mechanism to guide and direct us and give us tools to work on our minds and heal our hearts. But that's only within the context of "learning it", ie taking the curriculum. Once you get past the course, so to speak, or you graduate from it, you then are in a position to really USE it consistently AS a miracle worker. That was the whole point of taking it, to FINISH IT, and move on.
Like if you were spending 4 years in college or whatever learning how to be a car mechanic, you don't spend the rest of your life in college learning how to be a mechanic. You go BE one. You take what you learned, you rely on your training, and you USE it to accomplish things you could not do at the beginning.
A Course in Miracles is no different. It's a course in learning how to perform miracles to help those who are less able. If you are just aiming to spend your whole life in a love-affair with its words or dwelling on what it says and how it's written then you are STUCK in the classroom not wanting to go out into the big wide world and "get a job" as a miracle worker. The course is meant to be GRADUATED FROM at some point. You're not meant to become a "lifer" who just dwells on it all the time. Put the wheels on the car and make it go!
"Forget this world, forget this course, and come with wholly empty hands unto your God."
"This course is a beginning, not an end. Your Friend goes with you. You are not alone."