Another ego trap with forgiveness is believing that you need to be at peace regardless of what's going on in life. While this might ultimately be the goal, meanwhile the things that happen in life are there because they are lessons.

They're not just happening at random. Each of us has a curriculum. That means, whatever point you are at right now in your spiritual path, which is extremely unique to you, and whatever you are experiencing now, there are certain things you are going to have to learn or discover in order to move forward.

And the way that you learn those things is that you have learning experiences, ie lessons. And usually these lessons are things that you seem to NOT WANT. And so a great big steaming SHIT comes along in your life and dumps itself on your foot and you just go about trying to shake it off, but it's really trying to help you wake up.

There is something involved in your interaction with the shit and how you deal with it and look at it and experience it, which is going to bring stuff up for you, trigger you, and cause you to have certain kinds of perceptions and thoughts and ideas. And you might not have had those if it were not for this stimuli. But before you just try to get rid of the shit for coming along to disturb you, realize that this is actually an opportunity to grow and heal and become more awake spiritually.

So you don't necessarily want to be in the business of making life SEEM to be like it doesn't have anything upsetting happening, or that it's just one big smooth ride, because that can be a form of denial, avoidance, and disassociation. And it can keep you stuck. Not saying you have to suffer willingly, but willingly is better than unwillingly, lol

Anyway... so ... forgiveness isn't about avoiding bad stuff. And it isn't just about transcending it and being at peace about it. The bad stuff is there FOR A REASON, because its a lesson in the curriculum, and you not only need it but have asked for it. And that's why it's come. Because you are ready for it. And now you need to learn a lesson from it. And if you don't learn it this time, it will come back again. You don't have a choice in that.

Be aware that the ego, especially the persona part of the ego, wants to get rid of all bad stuff and create an ILLUSION OF BLISS, which really plays into the idea that "ignorance is bliss", because in ignorance ie unconsciousness, you think you don't have any issues because you're in incredible denial. You don't want that. You don't really want a life of total ease and an easy ride, at least not until you genuinely have woken up all the way and don't have any curriculum left. Then it's truly plain sailing.

So 'doing forgiveness' should not be about making bad stuff go away, even though that's what most of us use it for most of the time. It's really to help you learn lessons and to undo what you have taught yourself already, which is mistaken. It is unlearning, which is how lessons are completed - the question is unlearned to reveal the answer. There was no problem until the answer became obscured by the separation, see.

The real world is a symbol, like the rest of what perception offers. Yet it stands for what is opposite to what you made. Your world is seen through eyes of fear, and brings the witnesses of terror to your mind. The real world cannot be perceived except through eyes forgiveness blesses, so they see a world where terror is impossible, and witnesses to fear can not be found." - ACIM lesson 291 The Real World

Here's a different way of describing this.

There is a forgiven world out there, a happy dream, which is beautiful and peaceful and forgiven. It has no guilt in it. There is no threat in it. There is no danger in it. It has no power to do anything to anyone. A beautiful mirage.

When you see this forgiven world, there is absolutely no perceived cause for fear. There are no enemies. Nobody is seen as against you. You are not in any way disempowered. You are simply happy and confident and free. There is no cause outside of you. You don't see sin in anyone. Everyone and everything seems to be for you, not against you.

In such a perception of the world, you can't have any grounds for fear. The real world is harmless. You will feel profoundly at peace because nothing real can be threatened. You will feel completely confident and empowered because nothing will seem to be threatening to take away your power. And you will not be giving away your power.

But also the reason you will not be ABLE to be afraid when you are experiencing the forgiven world, is that your mind will not have any attack content in it. You will only see the forgiven world WHEN your mind is free of attack, and has realized that it was actually attacking itself. When it's taken back its power and has stopped taking its own power away, it won't be able to experience or USE fear to attack itself.

And coupled with clearly perceiving the world as it IS, which is a forgiven world of innocence, you won't be able to distort perception and will not be able to see a world that threatens you. Not because it is really a threat, but because you believe and perceive it is. So if you don't believe it you won't perceive it. Projection makes perception, so don't project attack and don't attack yourself in the first place.

As it says above, the real world cannot be perceived except through the eyes forgiveness blesses. So once your mind has forgiven itself, or rather, has undone its self attack, it will perceive the real world properly rather than a world of darkness and danger. The darkness and danger will not be in the mind so it will not be perceived, and will not interfere with perception.

The 'witnesses to fear', are your false perceptions which are based on your self-attack, which force you to perceive causes for the fear outside of you, seeming to 'make you' afraid, but really this fear is coming from inside you.

When you aren't attacking yourself you will not see these witnesses, and cannot be afraid. You literally will experience invulnerability.

There is no real cause for alarm.

There is a reason why you should not judge, and it has absolutely nothing to do with other people or whether it hurts them.

There is also a reason why you need to forgive, and it has absolutely nothing to do with whether other people are the ones being forgiven.

The reason is that these judgements that you THINK are being done by you to other people, are actually being done by you to YOURSELF.

And the unwillingness to forgive, which you THINK is to do with your unwillingness to forgive another person, or the need to forgive another person, because of what they seem to be doing, has absolutely nothing to do with that person. You are meant to forgive in such a manner as to realize that YOU are the one who needs forgiveness, because you've attacked yourself.

Judgements are nothing to do with other people, and trying to maintain a goal of 'must not judge anyone' is missing the point. You must not judge YOU.

And forgiveness has nothing to do with other people, so trying to maintain a goal of 'forgive everyone' is also missing the point. You must forgive YOURSELF.

The reason is, that ideas leave not their source, and your judgements do not leave your mind and go into someone else. Your attacks do not leave your mind and go into someone else. They are done TO YOU, BY YOU. Internally. It all takes place inside your own mind and never goes beyond that.

So the real benefit of you stopping judging someone else, isn't really to do with being kind to people or nicer to them or whatever.... what you don't realize is that as you judge, you are internally creating a separation in your own mind, are manifesting a split mind, are pitting one part of your mind against the other under the guise of 'projection', your own mind is now at war with itself, and this experience of conflict is what you need to heal. If you THINK you judge someone else, you automatically are judging yourself. They are not even really involved.

I saw this yesterday when I was tempted to judge someone and started to do so, and Jesus prompted me to stop, and I realized that it wasn't that he thought it was an issue of me judging that person, it was that by me judging 'them' I was actually creating conditions in my mind of conflict and upset and was CAUSING MYSELF to become angry. I needed to stop judging FOR MY OWN BENEFIT.

Similarly, forgiveness processes have nothing to do with other people. It begins SEEMING like it's to do with other people, because our mind is already in a split state and we think that the 'other' part of our own mind that we've split off and diassociated from is "not me" and therefore is "in them". You use them as like a mannequin to pin your dirty laundry on while you attack it, but the attacking and the receiving of the attack is going on entirely inside your mind, even if your mind seems to have inflated to 'include' that other person's body. So forgiveness is not to do with forgiving that person for what they do, it's to do with you coming to admit and realize that they've got NOTHING to do with your upset and that you are actually the one who has done something to yourself, and YOU need the forgiveness.

What we do in secret, and separately from God, and thinking that it is not something God is aware of, and which we hope other people do not know about, and how we suffer in silence, and feel things that we don't want other people to know we feel, and think things that we don't want to admit to thinking, this is all us doing it in the 'darkness' of the ego.

Darkness is the absence of light (God) and there can only be a darkness if light is SHUT OUT, which you do by entering into some kind of private, secret world, where you do not 100% fully share things openly. Indeed, coming into the physical world is an attempt to enter into a secret, private world, where God's light is absent - a world of darkness and despair.

If you are not fully 'open', like the shutter on a camera, light cannot get all the way in. If the shutter is closed, you will have a picture of darkness. When you 'shut down', become closed, withdraw, hide, go into secret fantasy land, conceal, deny, resist, attack, or in any way enter into EGO, you are shutting out the light.

Things that you KEEP in the dark, remain seemingly unhealable because you are not allowing them to gain light exposure. Exposure to light shows them for what they are and dismisses them, effectively revealing that they only existed IN the dark and do not really exist IN the light at all.

Therefore, everything that you do in the dark, or in secret, or which you keep buried, or do not want to admit to, ONLY EXISTS so long as you KEEP it in the dark, because it is MADE FROM darkness itself. All illusions are made from darkness. They are not made from light.

So as you expose yourself to God/light/love, these dark things must be exposed to the light and seen IN the light, and since they are not made OF light they do not exist in the light, so when you look IN the light for them you will not find them, because they will have DISAPPEARED. Light shines away darkness because darkness is only the absence of light, not a real thing in itself. This is why shadows disappear when light illuminates the scene. This is why the darkness of night disappears when the sun comes up. Where does it go? It does not exist.

You can stay in the dark and keep your dark illusions and dark fantasies about how dark you are and how real the darkness is, OR, you can open up and expose yourself courageously to God, knowing that GOD DOES NOT ATTACK, and GOD LOVES YOU UNCONDITIONALLY, and ALLOW the light to heal you of this darkness. Love replaces darkness with itself, and you are NOT held accountable for being dark, because you are MADE OF LIGHT.

Darkness is illusion. Light is reality. In truth you are innocent and holy, but if you don't allow yourself to step into the light, you will believe you are sinful and guilty. Only in the dark, where you cannot even see properly, could you think you are sinful and guilty. Only in the light, where you can finally SEE, can you be ABLE to recognize that you are only pure and innocent.

"I cannot see in darkness but in light"

"I am not an illusion but a reality"

- ACIM

Sometimes the ego breaking down can seem like a messy shitty mess. With extra shit in it.

When the ego's thought system is confronted with reality, i.e. the Holy Spirit's thought system, it has absolutely no way to understand it.

This also happens when some tightly held 'ego tool' that you've been using just keeps failing to work. And then you end up feeling like you're totally screwed because nothing works. This is VERY GOOD in terms of you coming to LET GO of that broken tool, which was never really there to help you, SO THAT you can open up to a whole new way of being and seeing.

But in the meantime, while the tools are breaking down and you're seeing just how insane everyone seems to be and how an invitation to eternal life by Holy Spirit is interpreted with the terror of "it means death".... that's not a particularly enjoyable experience.

There is an old analogy actually that springs to mind where someone feels like they are about as far away from God as they could possibly be. They feel like they're heading down a dark tunnel to hell. And that they'll be smashed against the rocks. Nothing works. No hope left (of the ego's solutions working), and presently not seeing a better way. And yet, in that moment, there is an incredibly opportunity to be alleviated of the ego's promises - for them to be brought into question.

Sometimes you just have to really clearly see the ego's system breaking and failing and not working and being utterly shit, in order for you to LET GO OF IT and want something else. Seeing the ego's horrifyingly broken mechanics is NOT PRETTY!

You might not even know what that something else is, but it can't be this. That certainty of 'this tool doesn't work' is a great way to see through it and withdraw all your allegiance from it. And then, guess what surprise is just around the corner? What happens when you surrender and you let go finally of this broken tool? The clouds part and God pops his head out with a smile and says "peekaboo", and suddenly a light dawns on you and you move forward in a whole new way - because it was the ego's strategies that were actually the problem - and you just let them go.

You thought you were crashing against the rocks, when in fact it was the ego breaking down because it needed to, so that you could be set free of it. And while you thought you couldn't be further from God or further from the truth, because of how the nightmare APPEARED, you were actually just a tiny step away from a revelation that would set you free.

The ego is never comfortable when you try to step out of its thought system. It always seems to have interpreted what that would mean as the 'worst' thing that could happen or precisely what you DO NOT WANT. Of course... because the ego has reversed truth and lies and thinks that truth is a lie. It doesn't want it. And it can't see it for what it is.

You are being loved and supported even when you think you are being condemned and persecuted. Because you are mistaken. And maybe that breakdown where all hell breaks loose is really a healthy expression of stuff that you needed to FINALLY acknowledge, so that you can be free of it.

A Course in Miracles might seem like a self-study where you do certain prescribed steps and have your own willingness and wake up all by yourself.

But, Holy Spirit has other ideas.

He is not only willing to help you, but is capable of helping you, in ways that are beyond what you can do for yourself. Including supernatural ways, ways of healing your mind, emotions and your body. Things which all by yourself you are not equipped to accomplish or even understand, but which are still possible in spite of your inability to comprehend it.

I think that as you become more willing and open and surrender more ego, instead of it being all bout what your ego does to become spiritual, it becomes more about what you're willing to accept and receive and allow, and this opens the flood gates for Holy Spirit/God to come in and help you.

Your development of trust in God allows you to become willing to operate in God's gifts, to extend those gifts, and to receive them for yourself and others.

Holy Spirit isn't a Holy Bystander, although His perception is uninvolved with the ego. He recognizes our beliefs and illusions and overlooks them and leads us into the light with True Empathy. But this also means, besides Him lifting you up into the light, that He can reach into your illusions and work on them with you. He can heal them, and all forms of separation, including death. Let's also remember that Jesus was raised from the dead BY the Holy Spirit.

Welcome Holy Spirit into you. Invite Him in. Encourage Him to enter by being willing to surrender, relax, let go, and trust to receive His helpful support and healing power.

I was having, or was going to have, a big release as part of a healing that I wanted to "get over with". However, upon being willing to start to release it, Holy Spirit came in and said "you don't have to suffer" and started to heal me, draining and disappearing those feelings as they were coming up.

Often I also now find that if I am upset and need to cry, at the instant that I become willing to cry and let it out, Holy Spirit steps in and suddenly starts to clear it for me. No tears come out, but the issue goes away. Holy Spirit asked, when I was wondering why the heck He kept doing this, "would you rather cry?"

You don't have to do this all yourself, and you don't have to suffer, and you don't have to put up with symptoms, and you don't have to even go through all of your unhealed pain all by yourself. What a relief!

"Holy Spirit will undo the consequences of my wrong decision if I will let Him."

This is very powerful and important. The consequences of your wrong decision, whatever it may be, is whatever came from your belief in separation. Self attack, denial, emotional pain, physical sickness, disability, mental illness, whatever. Holy Spirit CAN and WILL undo all of those 'symptoms of separation' - the alleged consequences of sin - the "real effects" which your belief in sin produced. IF you will let Him, and to let Him, you have to develop trust in Him and in allowing Him to operate in and through you.

You have help! Use it.

My wife had said she was getting a foot cramp and that pain was coming down her leg from the middle of the shin bone downwards.

This was the site where, some 15-odd years ago, she had bashed into the dishwasher door and probably chipped the bone. She had a hard bump there ever since due to how the body had tried to heal it, which was a little painful to push on. It protruded out of the smooth shinbone and was easily visible and easy to feel with the fingers. It was an area a little smaller than a 25-cent coin.

I put my two fingers on the area and was in quite a strong inner condition, relatively free from fear. I intended that it be healed. My fingers started vibrating as Holy Spirit began to flow.

I did not say anything for a while. I felt that instead of trying to force the thing to heal, I would sort of step back and stay within my inner strength. I had a sense of certainty and knowing. I didn't feel the need to go out of my center and try to force it, but rather, remained centered in being free from fear.

She said "there's no point, it's been there for years". I said, "that doesn't matter". I was certain that this was irrelevant.

Holy Spirit suggested words: "go down". So I spoke this at the bump. I also told it to "heal". I could feel beneath my fingers a sense of "sinking" or collapsing. I commanded it again "be healed" "bone fuse together".

I could feel under my fingers two or three times the sensation of something disappearing. About a minute later I checked. The whole area had reduced down and was much flatter. The whole upper area had become completely flat. All that remained was a small area about half the size of half of a 1 cent coin which was still protruding.

We stopped there, but it was quite cool to see that there was a marked difference. She tested it herself and remarked that it had indeed seemed to have worked.

I learned from this the difference between going off-center and trying to become aggressive or pushy in trying to force something to change, versus staying clearly centered in strength and freedom from fear and commanding "from a distance". I felt much stronger and more certain this way, as though I didn't need to fight with it because I knew with more certainty that I was in the truth and it was not.

I later was asking Holy Spirit about this. It turns out that this remaining centered in truth is the same thing as "having faith". It's not wishful thinking nor blind hope. It's a sense of certainty and truth and freedom from fear or indecisiveness. I also was shown how miracle-working is very similar to how God creates, He simply remains strong in the truth and remains "centered" and then "shines" outward from there, staying within Himself but "expressing" from that point of Authority. This is how we need to be when we are working miracles, otherwise if we step down from the position of authority in trying to make something happen, we move away from strength and certainty and thus become weaker.

This is why the ego's version of power is to have power over something through force, while God's version of power is to BE IN strength (love, fearlessness, certainty, truth) and stay IN it while "emitting" the creative power.

Sometimes people try to put you down, condemn you, make you wrong, call you names, claim you sinned etc. They may have a strong opinion, be domineering or power hungry. They may even say something quite vicious designed to push you away, shut you up, or shut you off.

This is always evidence of someone who does not love themselves. They have entered into a split mind where they are projecting, and they believe always that something applies to you that does not apply to them. They point a finger as if it’s not pointing at themselves. It is a very one-sided state. You are wrong, they are right. All the accusation seems to be coming out of them into you. And this makes it seem it’s entirely you who is under attack.

People like this can be difficult to deal with. There is also tremendous temptation to take this at face value and believe it’s happening to you. Or that it even really is about you or has anything to do with you. If you yourself do not love yourself enough, those weak parts of you will be triggered, seemingly hurt, react, and erupt with emotion and upset. You may then believe your experience was caused by them, that they actually attacked you.

If you do love yourself you will be unmoved. If you do not believe about yourself what the person believes about you, you will not be triggered. You will be clear it is not about you. Your forgiveness of yourself makes you immune. It then becomes clear they are talking about themselves, hate themselves, and are in a state of self attack. It also becomes obvious that how the attack appears on the surface is not what it really is.

The person is in a state of not realizing they are actually attacking themselves. They have disassociated from their self condemnation. They are in denial that they are hurting themselves. They are being murderous and harmful because they really believe and perceive that their attack is having no effect on them. They are not in their right mind. Self hate has blinded them, and now they are accusing a brother of their own sins. And they believe they can get away with it. They are unloving toward you not because you deserve it, but because they don’t love themselves.

If you can not buy into this performance, recognizing this attack as a call for love, realizing the person has made several errors, you have an advantage. Their self attack is something you can use to diffuse their attempted projection. It’s now your function to heal them, to love them, by reminding them of what they are ACTUALLY doing to themselves. You can look out for their innocent, holy self. Look at what they are doing to themselves in the interaction, NOT what they are doing to you.

You can now diffuse it by presenting the fact of what they are doing to themselves. Lovingly. To make them aware of how they are not loving themselves. This puts all the attention back on them and makes it clear this has NOTHING to do with you. You therefore are protected by love, cannot be hurt, and no-one can make you lose your peace.

"You cannot be hurt unless you hurt yourself."

To judge or be judgemental, in course terms, is to section off part of the world and put it into a category, likely based on its form or appearance or behaviour. Sometimes it is judged as good sometimes as evil. Sometimes it is regarded as a sin, sometimes a blessing.

But in all cases it is based on separating off and pitting it against other things, producing more conflict. Even seemingly positive judgements are ways of saying "this is better than that", as a subtle put-down of something else. Nothing can be elevated above unless something else is worse.

We use judgement like a way of selecting what something is "in isolation", and then determining its merit. Is it righteous or cursed? Is it acceptable or rejected? But in truth all judgement rejects because it has to push something else away in order to focus on and accept something.

Essentially judgementalism is simply a way of applying an un-whole and unholy viewpoint, to only a portion of the world, rather than to the whole of it. And that requires emphasising differences and comparing them and finding something lacking. No matter how positive the judgement seems to be it must have a flipside, of the dark things it judges against indirectly in order to put something on a pedestal. Just as special relationships hate the rest of the community.

Therefore judgement leads to idol worship, where something is either put on a pedestal or buried in the ground based on what you "believe" its value is. But the thing about judgement is that it isn't objective, it isn't passive, and isn't unbiased. It is always a condemnation and used as a weapon to separate and subdivide and increase space-time. It's a way of accusing something of being something, projecting some of your lovely guilt onto it, or onto its competition.

While we are in ego we are being partial, and all our judgements are wrong. That's a big statement but it means every single way that we judge on our own without the wholeness of the Holy Spirit, is a form of grievance, unforgiveness, attack, making sin real, and projecting guilt. It's a way of separating things off, splitting the mind, and focusing on differences.

This is why we have to be willing to give up making ANY judgements without the Holy Spirit's judgement, because every single time we judge or evaluate anything we're making a mistake. EVERY time. And then our judgement is an attack thought, and projects guilt, and labels and categorises, and fragments everything into a worse state. Plus you are included in the mind-splitting effects of judging.

We might not think we judge, but we're doing it all the time. We might think we're not even angry, making a passing commentary about something, having an opinion, giving a wise and educated verdict, using our experience, but it's all flawed. Unless it addresses the whole coming from wholeness and concludes only universal innocence, it is judgementalism and is ego.

"Judgment was made to be a weapon used against the truth. It separates what it is being used against, and sets it off as if it were a thing apart. And then it makes of it what you would have it be. It judges what it cannot understand, because it cannot see totality and therefore judges falsely." UrW311L1

"Purpose is meaning. Today's idea explains why nothing you see means anything. You do not know what it is for. Therefore, it is meaningless to you. Everything is for your own best interests. That is what it is for; that is its purpose; that is what it means. It is in recognizing this that your goals become unified. It is in recognizing this that what you see is given meaning." - from ACIM workbook Lesson 25 - I don't know what anything is for.

The central theme here is that we have all kinds of convictions that we believe we know what things mean, what is right or wrong, what should or shouldn't be happening, whether something should be encouraged or stopped, whether something is positive or negative, harmful or healing, etc. We think we know. But most of this so-called 'knowing', this reliance on a form of knowledge, is actually not knowledge at all.

When it is coming from our ego, it is really just speculation, imagination, false meaning, interpretation, prejudice, judgement, bias, fear, etc.

What this calls for us to do is to be extremely honest about whether we really, really, REALLY actually KNOW that this is the truth. And this is what it really boils down to - we don't want to really examine whether what we supposedly 'know' is true or false, we want to stay in the realm of good and bad and other opposites of duality. If we were to start examining whether it's true or false, now we're starting to discern with Holy Spirit and that will undo the ego.

So we need to get really honest. Do we actually, honestly, actually have access to such sufficient clarity and truth and 100% absolute information, that we can honestly say, we actually KNOW that this is true? Do we really know that someone's sickness is not supposed to be happening? Do we really know that some apparently 'bad' event is working against people's spiritual growth? Do we really know that some so-called tragedy is actually tragic and un-asked for? Do we really know that the world has gone off the rails and our future safety or continuation has come into question? Do we KNOW it? Not really.

There is such a thing as real knowledge, but it can only be accessed through Holy Spirit, who is aware of everything. Without that total awareness it is not knowledge, because something is hidden. The ego is all about hiding from the whole. From the truth. So as we attempt to 'awaken' we're going to have to become really honest in admitting with great humility that we don't really know hardly any of what we think we know.

We've also accumulated vast amounts of information, learning, education, data, facts and figures, research, opinions, etc.. and we call it knowledge, but it's not really knowledge. It's not real knowing. And none of it can help us to be awake. What helps us to be awake is to question whether it is knowledge at all, so that we can at least 'empty' ourselves of all this clutter that isn't really based in reality, and is just covering over reality with made-up meanings and conclusions. We need to uncover the real knowing, the real meaning - God.