"Loss is not loss when properly perceived. Pain is impossible. There is no grief with any cause at all and suffering of any kind is nothing but a dream."

I had to think a bit on this one.

It reminds me of denial, because Jesus says that denial when properly perceive attests to the thing being denied.

When you deny something, you're saying that you believe the thing DOES EXIST, but that you are hidden from it, seemingly unaware of its existence. Just because you are unaware of it doesn't however make it go away for real. The denial doesn't CHANGE what's there, it just changes how you look at it.

Similarly perhaps, loss is not loss, because if you believe you have lost something, you BELIEVE IN that thing existing. You're saying, I believe I have lost this real thing. If it is real, if it exists, if you COULD lose it, it must still exist and so is not really lost. The loss attests to the continued existence of the thing.

So if I say I'm having loss about someone being dead, for example, I'm really saying that I believe in the existence of what has died. The loss comes from the belief that I am being denied something that exists. I want it, believing it's there to be wanted, but cannot seem to have it. This produces suffering because I am out of alignment with reality.

Obviously for example the "loss of a body" is really a belief that the body is real and is the person, and that the body is "gone", and therefore lost. But I can't really truly be believing that the body is gone if I'm believing I have "lost it", because the loss is affirming the belief in its existence, its reality, its importance.

In a way then, loss is itself a denial, in which it i claiming to be an experience of "having lost something", but is really a way to try to "hold onto something" and let it NOT be lost. Because the so-called loss, really is an undercurrent of a "belief in having" the thing. It seems like loss, but it is an attempt to gain. So loss realise is the flip side of a coin, and on the other side is attachment.

The loss therefore is an illusion, a suggestion that only one side off the coin exists. That there is only loss, and that there is no actual belief in the existence of the thing. But you can't have loss without the belief in it, just as you can't have denial without the belief in the existence of what you are denying. To say I am feeling loss is to say I am pretending to believe something is gone while believing it hasn't. That I'm wanting it to exist even more but this wanting is disguised as not having.

It's all rather complicated. lol But as Jesus says, loss when properly perceived is not loss. When properly perceived it's really an assertion of having, of holding onto, of possessing. A grasping.

Jesus also goes on to say that grief and suffering are nothing but a dream. In this sense, what seems like a loss can't really be a loss because only dream-stuff seems to have gone away. There is no loss in God, nothing related can ever be lost, and no part of myself - one with everything - can be lost.

"The simple and the obvious are NOT apparent to those who would make palaces and royal robes of nothing, believing they are kings with golden crowns BECAUSE of them."

Last night what came to awareness is the nature of the ego. It was shown to me as a picture of a selfish king.

The king was riding on a golden jewel-laden platform, lounging casually while being attended to by guards and servants. Eating luxuriously, wearing elaborate robes made of the finest materials, complete with jewels and gold and a crown.

He thought highly of himself, of his own self importance. He saw himself as above everyone, and because of this he really did not care to even mingle with those lesser than himself. He was distanced and cut off from the larger population, and didn't really care for anyone at all besides himself.

He wanted to live an opulent, wealthy, care-free life, waited-on and pampered and adored and worshipped as a lord. Skimming along the surface of society barely involved in anything or helping anyone, wanting nothing to do with the unclean peasants nor to barely give a single thing to anyone.

He wanted to live in his big castle with his special toys and his expensive furnishings. To be told how great he is, to sit on his portable throne and be escorted according to his shallow wishes. It seemed he had everything he wanted, having gained the whole world, sitting at the apex of the pyramid on top of a mountain of riches, and yet bereft of any real relationships with anyone.

Living out his days in the illusion of perfection and the fantasy of having everything there is worth having. Of owning and ruling over the whole kingdom, a kingdom that he had no real interest in other than to be ruler of it and exalted by it. And for all this selfishness and seeming success and wealth and grandiosity, he lived as if on a tiny island all alone and had nothing of any real value.

His life was empty and narrow and shallow and greedy. He got everything he wanted and no-one could oppose his tyranny. And so he thought himself to be of the utmost specialness, important above all others, and the greatest of all rulers. Caring not for anything he ruled over nor for the lives of others. He was fat from the feasting and lazy in his lifestyle. And he wanted nothing but to keep the lesser-kind away from himself.

He lived like a king, but he had no soul. He thought everyone wanted what he had, and that therefore everyone envied him, and therefore that he was entitled and better than all of them. And not once did he think of anyone besides himself. His castle was a prison, to keep him and his riches protected from thieves and beggars and the hungry, to keep them out and to keep him in. For he wanted only to have everything for himself.

"Would you remain WITHIN your tiny kingdom, a sorry king, a bitter ruler of all he surveys, who looks on nothing, but who would still die to DEFEND it?" "In your tiny kingdom you have so little!"

"The ego is trying to teach you how to gain the whole world, and lose your own Soul."

"What profiteth a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own Soul?"

Which means, everything about God exists already, is complete already, is in perfect divine order, free of needs and problems, in divine health at all times, and absolutely always the same.

So when we're having a relationship with God, we might want to look at in which ways we're really treating God based on how God is, versus some idea of a 'changeable God'.

If God were changeable, you might be justified in, for example, asking Him to do something ... ie he hasn't done it already. Or, praying for something to be done which isn't his will. Or, believing that he doesn't have a desire to heal certain person due to sins. etc... various beliefs that arise out of the idea of a conditional, fickle God.

God has already accomplished everything because God already created. His creation is whole and complete already. He has already put into place everything that you really need, your ideal environment, the perfect conditions for your health, etc. He has also already established His laws and set up the 'mechanisms' by which you should live in alignment to His will.

So it's not so much a matter of, let's get God to bend to our conditions and do what we think hasn't been done yet. It's more like, let's accept what God has put in place and get into the role that He has chosen for us and act based on the laws he has already established and live in the way that He has already designed for us.

It's not that God is failing to give us a perfect life. But that's exactly what you're saying when you think that your life is a mess and isn't working out properly and needs correction. It's not because God has failed. God never fails. It's because we have resisted God's way, have resisted God's will, and want to have things be different. And it's also not that God isn't providing or giving or sharing, it's that we're not receiving. We're ignoring God and shutting out His help, it's not that He isn't helpful.

So it's like, we have this natural role, a 'function', which God has set in place, to be the Holy Son of God, and to be free of all illusions and all ego, and to live forever, carrying out His will and extending His kingdom. And if we're not doing that, it's because we have chosen not to, and therefore what can we expect but to meet with problems? The fact is, our ego self wants to have its own separate existence with its own rules and laws and power and do all this without God and expect it to go well. Life doesn't work smoothly without God.

So it's really a matter, what it comes down to, in the undoing of the authority problem (trying to have authority over God rather than accept and extend His authority), whether you are willing to BE what God has intended you to be, or whether you still want to be something else. Whether you want to be governed by laws of sickness and chaos and death, which you made, or whether you want to be under no laws but God's - the laws of eternal life.

We are meant to extend God's reality, as the Son of God, to extend His Kingdom.

When we deny Him and deny we are His Son, we stop extending Him (as source of everything) and instead have to 'make up' stuff which we think WE are the source of. This is how we 'make' the world and the body.

We see ourselves as the starting point of creation because we do not extend God and do not receive from God, and so we think reality originates with us. Then we make stuff.

The problem is, the stuff we make, takes after ourselves. Like 'Father' like 'Son', we make things which CANNOT extend us. Since we believe our nature is not to extend what created us (God), we must believe that the things we MAKE without God also cannot extend.

So we make things which, instead of having properties of being able to, in turn, have creative power, we make things which become 'dead ends'. Things which have no creative potential. Things which cannot extend life. Things which are stuck being only what they seem to be, in form, and which have no (or very limited) life.

The physical world of form, which we made, is an exact example of this. It is a world where we make 'creations' which barely have any semblance of their maker, and which have very little creative power, and which therefore constantly limit what they create.

We as their maker - the maker of the world - put so much limitation on ourselves in order to shut out God, that we create `limited things`. These things have very little freedom or life and so take on the appearance we are familiar with - inanimate objects and creatures that only live a short time then die.

As the Course says, anything made without the Father's Life cannot be sustained and withers and dies. Such is the physical world that WE made, not God.

Now, once we've 'made' stuff which barely extends life, we recognize it has no creative power. It's just a dream. BUT, since we are on a higher level (mind) than form, WE still believe in extension more than our made-up creations do. We still believe in enough of an idea of giving our creations the power to CAUSE, that we retain a certain belief that whatever we've made can 'do something'.

Unfortunately, since there is great limitation to what we made, and it can't really do much at all, when we try to project this idea of causal power onto it, we imagine that it has 'magical powers'. Powers to create that it does not have. And this directly creates LEVEL CONFUSION, which is MAGIC, and which is a reversal of cause and effect, because now this weak, powerless, lump of matter seems to us to have (or is supposed to have) causal power to further creation.

Believing that something that has no power, has power, is magic. And believing it can cause, when essentially it is what we call an 'effect' (effects that have no cause in them - separation of cause and effect), we have to believe that these forms and objects have a mind of their own, a will to create, a causal power over us, and now we are at their effect.

This produces all sickness.

Creating without the Father, without extending His love, produces sickness. And that sickness takes on form because we're 'making magical illusions'.

Something like that, anyway

We are infinite beings. We are immortal. We are invulnerable. We are pure and perfect and holy. We are completely innocent. We cannot be harmed. Nothing can happen to us. We are permanent and we cannot change in any way.

So I ask you then.. how can such a being come to believe that there is, in any way, shape or form, anything that can or has happened to you that you are victim of? How is it possible that you believe you have been hurt and changed and upset by anything or anyone?

The only way for this to be possible is to NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

I repeat, you are an absolutely immortal innocent permanent being that is completely invulnerable to ALL illusions and events. Literally you cannot be changed in any way whatsoever. So WHO is this 'me' that is so certain that they are so damaged and upset?

Who are you? Or rather, who, as someone who cannot be harmed, are you pretending to be? What harm are you pretending to endure? What victimhood role are you PLAYING at? What disguise are you wearing as a mask to portray yourself as not who you are?

Nothing that God created can be affected. Nothing that God created has been affected. You are created by God. Ergo, you cannot and have not been affected. Who you really are, that is.

This other self... its strange. It believes it is vulnerable to attack, being ganged up against, can be hurt, has been hurt, is weak and frail and diseased and sure to die. What a bizarre character to play the part of, given you are permanently invulnerable.

Ok so right now you are experiencing some shit. Crappy day. Noisy neighbors. Dog shitted on your grass. Something went wrong. Something broke. Someone attacked you. Whatever. Drama. All this crap is an illusion. The suggestion that it is happening to YOU is false. YOU are not even affected by this whatsoever, not even one tiny bit. How can YOU, who are created by God as perfectly joyous and happy and complete, be in any way less than totally beaming with light all the time, oblivious to and impervious to the entire ego world drama?

Our entire problem is that we believe we ARE the person who is attacked, that we CAN BE an identity other than the one that is our real identity, that we have BECOME someone who is affected and modified by all manner of fuck and shit in the world. All of this is ultimately completely impossible.

Somewhere under WHATEVER the fuck your drama is today, someone underneath MY drama today, and beyond our ridiculous made up identities - characters in a play, there is a completely healthy, absolutely immortal, totally happy, joyous vibrant loving peaceful whole complete being, to whom nothing has ever occurred and never will.

So if you can just sense that a little bit even for a moment, or even just imagine it, maybe it will frame your whole stupid drama in a different light and help you to recognize, that ALL of the ego's experiences are a complete FARCE. Even a comedy. A fiction. Happening to a fictitious character that is NOT you.

You are NOT the person who is being attacked. You are NOT the person who is vulnerable. You are NOT the person who is upset. You are NOT the person that is struggling and suffering. That's not who you are at all.

You are pure love.

Another word for forgiveness is "honesty". It's to do with admitting to the truth and being clear about what the truth is. This entails surrendering of the ego's motivations and lies and owning up to responsibility and authenticity. But it's also an honesty that goes beyond appearances, physical events, what it looks like happened or who seemed to be the cause. Because, in all honesty, such "truth" is not the truth.

If you are in the middle of some ego tangle, upset emotions flying all over the place, believing that it's caused by someone or something other than yourself, then you're not really being honest. To be honest you'll have to really take a good look at what you're doing any why, and if you can discern and see what it is you're doing, you will have to admit to yourself that you've been deceiving yourself.

A big part of the problem of how to forgive, is that when you're in the middle of a dramatic story you're really quite lost. You've lost track of clarity. You've lost sight of what the truth is. You're deluded and distracted by something big and ominous which *seems* to be the problem but really isn't.

You've pinned the blame or cause for this story onto something that isn't the cause of it. You generally aren't seeing clearly. There's so much going on and so many things which seem to mean something, that it's just all very confusing. This confusion essentially is dishonesty because you've lost touch with the truth and are defending evidence of that which is false.

So really, if you have no other practice, it would be useful to remind yourself from time to time, that you need to get HONEST as quickly as you can. And this honesty involves questioning what you've been doing, how you've been perceiving, what you've been believing, and all the "truth" that you made up that hasn't come from God.

Honesty shines a light to help you see clearly and puts everything into its proper place. It's admitting to what's really happening, admitting to how you feel, admitting to what you're experiencing and admitting to what's really causing it.

When you're upset and its because someone else did something or didn't do something correctly, it's because you've disowned responsibility and are projecting guilt, which is a dishonest act. It's not the other person's guilt or sin. You're passing your sin off onto them and believing they're the cause of it. This is dishonest. It's deceptive.

The person who stands to gain from your honesty is yourself. Owning up to the truth sets you free, aligns your mind to the truth, clarifies what is happening in the situation and helps you to see correctly. When you can see correctly and clearly you get back in touch with the experience that, in truth, you are perfectly happy and at peace and free of all ego suffering.

Honesty is not good for the ego. It's not good for the part of you that wants to keep a story going. It's not good for the part that wants to control and blame and manipulate. It's not good for maintaining a cover or keeping up appearances or putting on a face/persona. It's means revealing what is real, and that means there can be no cover-up.

Where are you being dishonest with yourself, what do you need to own up to and admit to, and are you willing to surrender your support for maintaining lies that are only bringing you suffering?

When I have guilt in me, I am unaware. Guilt blocks my awareness. I can't even tell that I'm guilty. It's not like, I have full complete awareness and there is also guilt present. If I had full complete awareness there would be no guilt. When guilt is present, my awareness is diminished and I don't know what I'm doing or what I've done.

This is really why our sense of separation from God is riddled with guilt, there is an aspect to it of shock and horror and not realizing what we've done. We then seem to have some awareness of the results of what we've done and it seems like we must've made a terrible mistake, and therefore we are now horrified by ourselves and are afraid.

What's needed to escape this isn't so much to admit to guilt. Guilt can't be admitted to. There can't be a total admittance of truth at the same time as guilt existing. You can admit to being innocent, but you can only deny being guilty. And the only solution to being guilty is to reclaim innocence. Owning up to guilt, if you were to do it, would just hold the guilt against you and make you suffer. This is why we don't want to do it. Deep down we know we just made a mistake and that we didn't mean to.

"Forgive them father, for they know not what they do."

It's hard for me at times to admit to 'what I did' even if what I did was an accident, because that means owning the guilt. If it were possible to admit to something without being guilty, that would be easier. But nobody wants to own guilt. It is counter-productive. We should want to get back to innocence, as a true atonement, rather than say "I'm really guilty". Owning guilt doesn't atone for anything. To the ego it atones because the ego wants to find someone to blame and to keep the guilt, but to the Holy Spirit we are always innocent.

Is regret healthy? Is a guilty conscience helpful? Should we suffer in remorse? How long is enough time to be ashamed? How much suffering is enough to atone for a sin?

The ego wants us to own up to 'really doing stuff' because this makes the error real and doesn't forgive it. Holy Spirit asks us to be forgiving, to overlook error, and to demonstrate that it has had no effects. To demonstrate that we and the other person are innocent because nothing has really happened. The ego doesn't want this, because then it can't find anyone guilty. It takes practice.

Do you have the right to claim innocence and to choose to relieve yourself of all guilt and return to innocence with Holy Spirit? And what if someone else doesn't believe you deserve it yet?

We need to all remember that if we find someone else guilty it doesn't prove that they are guilty, it proves that WE are guilty. We can't find someone else guilty without us being involved, no matter how convinced we are. If the other person is truly the separate guilty party, then we should remain in perfect innocence. And if we remain in perfect innocence, we will see perfect innocence in the other person, so we won't be able to find them guilty. It's not possible to find someone guilty without including ourselves. That kind of puts a damper on the ego's parade. We MUST forgive otherwise we ourselves cannot be forgiven.

I've been recently experimenting with various forms of acceptance. I'm moving into more acceptance and letting go of more denial. This seems to be the 'new frontier' in my spiritual path.

One of these forms is in opening up to receiving God, receiving love, receiving healing. I've done this a few times now. The first time was the most powerful but each time I 'receive God' I feel that love comes in.

The thing is, when this love comes in it immediately receives a reaction from my ego, which is really kind of clueless as to what to do about this. It has no real response to it other than confusion, and clearly the power of God is SOOOOO much bigger than anything the ego can do, it renders the ego like dust on the surface of the ocean. It can't do anything about it. And so it will say/experience something like...."how could God love me?"

And by this I mean, it's actually thinking of it as though God loving me is some kind of an UNWANTED thing. Like an attack. How dare God love me?! How could he 'do this to me'?.

This is the part of me that believes God can't be love. It's the part that believes I can't be love. It is in disbelief. Its a part of me that believes God's unconditional love is impossible and doesn't exist. And its the part of me that is so confused and backwards about what God is that it thinks God's love is actually some disgusting thing that it does not want anything to do with.

And so for this part of me - this ego - to have an encounter with or be exposed to this offering of real love, it's like.. it's healing. It's transformative. It's not comfortable at all, it's kind of shocking. And actually it entails quite a lot of fear. I am very resistant to actually saying the full sentence "receive God", even though it's only 2 words. I can FEEL and know what it will mean if I allow God in. God is huge. God is powerful. His love is immense. Can I allow it?

Yet gradually I'm becoming more willing to accept, to receive, to allow. Slow steps. Baby steps. But having some willingness to surrender is the key.

Letting love in. It seems radical. Just receiving God and permitting Him to be in me. It shouldn't be such a big 'thing' but the ego has shut God out for so long. I suppose this relates to letting God take up residence at the 'altar' which the Course talks about as having been defiled by our ego separation idea.

Letting yourself be loved. To a degree that you never thought was possible, that you never thought you ever would deserve. It goes deep. Very deep. But I can also feel it giving me a kind of strength, a kind of certainty, and a kind of healing. Relief. Relief from the darkness of being separate.

My ego self is very shocked by what God is doing, by the unconditionality and complete lack of 'cost' in God's offering. It does not understand the sheer freedom with which the Gift is being offered. It is suspicious of it and resistant to accepting it. It can't comprehend why I could possibly be worthy of such unconditionality, as if there is a secret motive involved. Yet as I continue to be willing to let God in, love is taking up residence, and the ego can't do anything to stop it.

Your whole mind is supposed to be everywhere.

The mind inside your body seems to be your conscious mind. The mind outside your body seems to be your unconscious mind.

While what is within your body seems to be different and separate from what is outside your body, you will see yourself as being the limits of your conscious self. Parts of you which are unconscious will be seen as outside of you.

Guilt which you put into your unconscious, so that your conscious mind can pretend to be innocent, will come up as seeming "events" in the outer world which come to teach you lessons. You will see them as attacks on your identity, at least at first, depending on your willingness to use them differently.

When what is within you is the same as what is outside of you, and when there is no further need for a separation to keep the two apart, the body will have no purpose and will disappear.

When what is within you is seen as also being within others, whereby what is in both of you is the same Christ mind, the same Self, your whole mind will be experienced as everywhere. That's because, like God, you are omnipresent.

The body was made only to create a sense of separation in the mind, a split between what hides within it and what hides outside of it. Its only purpose was to maintain an illusion of division so strong that it suggests the limits of your conscious self is the confines of the body.

You built a wall around the conscious self which, through a condensing of that idea, formed the illusion of bodies. Bodies are a barrier between what has been retained - the little innocent self - versus what has been rejected - the larger body of unconscious guilt which is disassociated from and appears to comprise "other people", i.e. "not self".

What is happening outside of the body is just a drama being orchestrated and run by the unconscious mind. Your unconscious mind. Events which happen in it represent the content of your own mind coming up into awareness to be reconsidered for forgiveness.

Forgiveness must entail a repair of the inner joining with the outer, of the separate embodied self rejoining with and beyond the embodied selves of others. What is in you is in them. What you are is what they are. You are one.

Joining of minds, which is miraculous, causes the body to be healed, because the body temporarily disappears. Its shift into invisibility, in light of the truth of oneness, heals it of its use as a device for separation.

Attempting to anchor self more heavily into the body and to tie the self to the body, simply makes the body more real and reinforces the separation between yourself and yourself. Such is the purpose of sickness which defends against unity by reinforcing separation, i.e. reinforcing the reality of the body as a wall that comes between you and your brother.

Your brother IS yourself. Those "others", those "not me"'s outside of you, ARE you. They are parts of the split mind of the sonship. You are to be reunited with them and share with them and join with them. This overlooks the body and it becomes meaningless and non-existent. It must disappear as inner and outer, self and not-self, become One.

In oneness there can be no separations.

You are everywhere. You are the whole sonship. You are the One Omnipresent Son of God.

Everything about most religions is fairly accurate in that it describes what's happening INSIDE THE DREAM. They describe what APPEARS to be true here.

It SEEMS that sin is real, it SEEMS that therefore God will judge and condemn us, it SEEMS that death can be justified, and it SEEMS that we can never be with God again.

The key point is, there is a chunk of metaphysical truth regarding what happened BEFORE the separation, before the dream, which frames the entire dream in a different light. And this chunk of truth, missing from religions, is extremely key in putting everything into its proper perspective.

Recognizing that Heaven is real, God is unconditional love, separation is impossible, and the innocent cannot sin, would have to tell you that the entire content of the dream and everything that goes along with it is not REAL. It is impossible.

But without that key fact, if you only look at what seems true within the dream, after the illusion of separation, it starts to seem quite sensible to conclude the exact opposite. You'll then say that sin is real, death is real, God has vengeance, you need to repent of real sins, etc.

The religion then becomes all about this fiction of having "actually sinned", and what you need to do to atone for it. And ultimately within that same idea, there MUST be also the idea that only death can atone for sin. And so the religion, while seeming to uphold moral values and lead towards love, also inadvertently supports death.

Descriptions of what seems real in a dream can only ever be opposite to the truth.

This is the one key area in which A Course in Miracles is different, because it explains what happened BEFORE separation or what conditions were like, such that the entire content of the dream is clearly RECOGNIZED as being false, unreal, untrue and impossible. It gives us the clarity to see that everything within the dream is an ILLUSION, not a reality.

This puts an entirely different spin on everything we perceive here. It totally reverses the illusion of the meaning of what seems to happen, or all the conclusions that have been drawn from appearances. The proper framing of everything that goes on in the dream world puts everything into its correct place and perspective, recognizing the real truth for what it is, and recognizing the illusion as an illusion. Failure to do this, or the deliberate "omission" of this key foundation at the core of truth, makes the entire content of the dream suddenly twist to a completely opposite and confused explanation of events.

Only a truth based on completely pure non-duality can explain and properly frame why and how everything within the dualistic world is false and unreal. Otherwise if you stop just short of awakening from the dream, or you stop just beneath the peak of the dream's heights, it will make the dream seem to be real and you will not wake up from it. This is why those religions ultimately keep people asleep. They are religions of the ego, based in the ego's thought system, worshipping the ego's God of death.

Death can't be true and separation can't be true and sin can't be true because God only creates eternal innocent life. If the absolute truth remains hidden, all true meaning is lost and insanity begins to seem sane.