The main thing I don't really like about ideas of non-duality and oneness, is that it really ignores the CREATIVE qualities of God.
If there is only God, and there is nowhere to go, and nothing to do, and God is just sitting there by himself, as a "oneness", in which there is no "duality" or separations of any kind, how do you get from there to a recognition that God CREATES?
For God to even have thoughts, or to create even one son, flies in the face of this idea that God is one thing. Even if you say, well, God has one son but it's part of Him... you can't even really say that either. There can't even be anything you can refer to as "one son", if there is only God.
Jesus says for example, "I am my father are one". And he goes on to clarify that this does not mean there aren't PARTS to that statement. It does not mean, there is only the father. It does not mean, that whatever we're referring to as the son is actually the father, and therefore we are really talking about "one thing". It ACTUALLY means, there *IS* a distinct Son, who is in SOME way "separate" from the Father, enough to establish that there are really TWO things.
"I" (part 1) and "the father" (part 2). Otherwise we might as well just not ever mention the Son or Christ whatsoever and just say that God is all that exists. Jesus is careful to make this distinction, that Son and Father are having some kind of mutual experience or state of being which he's labelled as "one", but that this oneness does not UNDO OR ignore the fact that there are still two things happening here.
In the truest sense of what non-duality or oneness means, it implies there isn't a two-ness of anything. And if you are being really, really, really strict about that logical reasoning, it SHOULD mean that God has NO SON AT ALL. There's either oneness - one thing, or there isn't.
There's a whole spectrum of beliefs out there which proceed from the strictest of interpretations ie "there is only God" through the slight blurring of boundaries to suggest "there is a son, but there's only one of them", through to "there are other sons but they're really the one son", through to "sons are the ego", and all manner of interpretations in between.
But here is the simple fact of it. If God has a thought which creates a son, or if his "effect" is his son, or his son is actually really "himself" pretending to be a son, then this makes himself also the dreamer of dreams and the maker of death. Does that fly with you?
Are you willing to have God be the one who is responsible for separation? And what about the Holy Spirit, did God - who must be dreaming, create the holy spirit as a perfect non-dreamer, in order to pull himself out of the dream he himself made, due to apparently not being able to wake up himself, while simultaneously having created a holy spirit who is not asleep? Does that make any sense whatsoever?
We're told conflicting messages by various teachers who have not really reasoned this out. If there is a God to return home to, a God who did not believe in the separation idea and did not dream, how is that even possible unless somehow there is something that distinguishes God from the one who is having a dream? Even if it's just ONE son, how is it that this one son is able to do ANYTHING that is COMPLETELY SEPARATE from the Father, ensuring that the Father does not entertain or enter into or be affected by this dreaming son?
If truly they are so joined and are so "one" that they literally are the same thing, or the same self, the son literally cannot dream without dragging the father into it. And that would mean the entirety of EXISTENCE would now fall from grace and we'd all be permanently dead, God included. There has to be SOMETHING about the son of God, or this aspect of God, which somehow renders its choices incapable of affecting God. How is that possible if God is supposedly so joined to and connected to this dreamer, in such a way that there is "influence" between them?
What it HAS to indicate, is that EITHER there is a separation between the Father and the Son, OR some other mechanism or dynamic of relationship which guarantees that God will not ever dream. Because if God is the dreamer, then God has made a world of death and also doughnuts and rainbows and chocolate bars. So what IS it that makes God NOT affected by the dream? What is it that sections off the dreamer from God? Even if it's just a dream, it IS still a made idea, it IS an IDEA in the mind, even if it's an idea of impossibilities. We DID have a mad idea, even if it's a nonsense idea. Why didn't GOD have the idea, and why isn't God trapped in an illusion?
The ego would conclude, it MUST mean that there is separation in heaven. It cannot conclude otherwise. But there is another possibility. FREEDOM. Is it not possible, that God gave such TOTAL FREEDOM to his creations, that by all intents and purposes, his creations actually are ABSOLUTELY free and therefore literally have a will of their own, a mind of their own, a spirit of their own, and can CHOOSE on their own, WITHOUT it having any effect on God whatsoever? If the son or sons is FREE, and God has "given" them FULLY, and has COMPLETELY set them in heaven as permanent free-willed beings, this WOULD completely explain why it's possible for God to not be part of dreaming.
"God, who encompasses all being, nevertheless created separate beings, who have everything individually, and want to share it to increase their joy."
For me, heaven absolutely IS NOT a picture of what we traditionally are told is a state of pure non-duality, or even really a state of this "oneness" where there is "only God" happening. It's NOT one thing. It contains FREE WILLED BEINGS OF LIGHT, who are SO free that they literally are free to choose whether or not to will with God.
So get this picture... that God created beings - who are not only fully created and completely SET FREE by unconditional love, but He even gave them SUCH freedom that they could in fact freely decide for themselves whether to love or not. You'd think that this would be quite insane, or suicidal, for God to create thoughts which seem capable of disagreeing with their own creator. Why would God do such a crazy thing? Because He knows that nothing REAL can be threatened, and even if they DO choose to side with dreams, these dreams don't REALLY threaten reality. And that anyone who does dream WILL awaken at some point, because it is not God's will that He be cut off from his creations.
The picture I have of God is that He is FAR more a creator of individual free-willed souls, to whom He has given TOTAL freedom, to the extent that they have to willingly COOPERATE and CO-CREATE by their own will, that they are not mere "parts of God Himself" but actually are real distinct entities with their own minds and their own being. They CAN and do naturally want to share their mind and being with God also, and with the whole sonship, but not because they are forced to or inherently made to. They freely willingly want to do so, to increase their joy, and because Heaven is filled with celebration of Creation.
God is a creator, not a blob. God has sons, many many many sons. God also created angels. This is all perfectly written about in ACIM by Jesus with hundreds if not thousands of statements supporting it. It is the EGO which has a tough time comprehending how it is possible for God, who is whole, could create "many wholes". Or how many wholes can exist simultaneously. Or how God can ADD something to existence. Or how He could create "distinct beings" who have everything "individually", including the creation of multiple minds, and how these multiple minds can coexist harmoniously without war, and without competition, and without differences.
Oneness means "of one kind". In the LIKENESS of God. It means SHARING, by multiple individuals. It does not mean "God is all that exists".
Yes there are statements which at times seem to speak to certain ASPECTS of God's nature in isolation which perhaps gives impression that Jesus is saying there is nothing but God, or that God is all that is, etc... but... it's not the complete picture. Sometimes Jesus refers to the "one son", sometimes to the sonship, sometimes to individual sons. References to the one son do NOT cancel out references to individuals. The ego has a SPAZZ about how this can make sense and be true. It sees only separations where there are none, and joins together things which are not one thing.
Oneness, as in, "there is only one thing" is actually an EGO IDEA. It is the result that EGO reasoning comes to when it boils everything in its EXCLUSIVE thought system down. And it thinks that this final conclusion is accurate and truthful. It is not. It is divisive and incorrect and a false conclusion. God's creation is not "one thing", God's sonship is not devoid of parts, and God DID create multiple beings. Objections to this are, funnily enough, THE EGO objecting to ITS belief in what Heaven must be like.
We are creations of God, children of God, God has created multiple minds, multiple souls, multiple sons, each of whom is SO FREE that they are able to decide for themselves whether or not to will with God. The only REAL choice is to will with God, but our minds DO have the ability and freedom to CHOOSE to dream of an alternative. And we have used that ability. And it has not affected God.
Many many times Jesus has said to me, "you are free". And I could never really quite accept or understand how this is possible, given the framework of how everyone is teaching the course. What wish teachings of "time is already over" and "there's only one son" and so on, I couldn't see how it's possible that I am free. How does a son of God be free, if that son is just part of God's enforced will or some kind of script? Gradually and very confusedly I've come to accept more that we actually DO have free will, because we DO have total freedom. We are to come to God WILLINGLY.
This is why we NEED to have "a little willingness" and eventually total willingness. Willingness isn't coercion. Love does not enter where it is not welcome. We actually literally MUST CHOOSE HEAVEN "heaven is a choice *I* must make". We have to WANT to WILLFULLY choose to accept it. We're not going be willing OR able to accept it if we think it's being forced on us and we don't want it. We have to have total personal willingness to will WITH GOD, to CO-CREATE, to participate and to exercise WILLINGLY the decision to carry out God's will. We are not slaves.
We are not JUST effects. We have been given the power to CAUSE as well, the power to will, and the power to create FREELY. Free will was given NECESSARILY in order to allow us to create freely like the Father. Without this freedom, we could not WILLINGLY WANT to agree with God's will for us. God, who is cause, caused us to BE causes. It is an EGO IDEA that we are "only an effect". That's a dead end. We are not a dead end. We are extenders and freely-willing CO-CREATORS with God. Because we want to be, because it's natural to want to be, and because God ONLY willed that we will FREELY.
God and his Kingdom are unlimited. They are EVERYTHING. In the separation from God, we tried to be opposite to God. We made-up a world opposite to everything. The opposite of everything is NOTHING At the same time, we confused the true with the false, and so believed that the nothing was actually SOMETHING. This is the entire problem to be corrected. It is a lack of recognition that the world is absolutely NOTHING. It is because you believe it is SOMETHING, that you think it has something to offer, or something to do to you.
What is nothing has no real effects because it is not really a cause. The world isn't right or wrong or good or bad. The world isn't anything at all. It is meaningless because of this nothingness.
God's Kingdom is all meaningful and means everything to you. The world you made means NOTHING AT ALL. But you tried to GIVE IT meaning that it does not have. Because it is NOTHING it can reflect the meaning you project onto it. But of itself it has none. Of itself it has nothing of anything. The world is not a something, it is an ABSENCE.
Our task then is simply to see through the lies and appearances produced by the wishful thinking, ie the denial, that the world IS something, when it isn't. To stop believing it can BE something it is not. Or indeed that it can be anything at all. There is nothing there. It's not really a world. It's an illusion of a world. A smokescreen. A hallucination of a world. It is unreal and does not exist. There is no world at all.
To recognize it AS nothing requires seeing through illusions. It requires correctly discerning that the world is NOT what you thought it was. It also requires the recognition of what it IS, which is nothing. You are not really afraid of nothing because, being afraid of nothing means you have no fear at all. You are afraid of nothingNESS because you think it's something you can experience - as if it is somethingNESS. Yet it cannot be both something and nothing at the same time.
Jesus asks us merely to come to our senses and realize that the world is nothing whatsoever. The body is nothing. Events are nothing. Nothing is happening. Or indeed, the nothingness is not happening. It's only because we think there really is a world there that we suffer. It's only because we give the body roles and duties and laws and purposes that it seems to become sick. We keep trying to twist a world of nothing into a dedicated something, which it cannot be. And so this denial attacks it.
Let the world be nothing. Only by it being nothing can you truly let it go. Its meaninglessness, emptiness, nothingness and absence must be recognized. What is absent CANNOT BE THERE. what is nothing cannot be the truth of everything. What is nothingness CANNOT HAPPEN. There is no world.
The world is not a guilty world or a sinful world. Nor is it an innocent world or a holy world. It is not a forgiven world or an accused world. The world isn't anything at all. To forgive it is to overlook it and to not see it. And so the world must disappear because it is not there to be seen or believed. Only the Kingdom of God remains.
"What is the ego? Nothingness, but in a form that seems like something. In a world of form the ego cannot be denied for it alone seems real."
"Symbols which but represent ideas that cannot BE, must stand for empty space and nothingness. Yet nothingness and empty space can NOT be interference. What CAN interfere with the awareness of reality is the belief that there is SOMETHING THERE."
"The body that is asked to be a god WILL be attacked, because its nothingness has not been recognized. And so it seems to be a thing with power IN ITSELF. As something, it CAN be perceived, and thought to feel and act, and hold you in its grasp as prisoner to itself." ... "Yet its nothingness IS your salvation, from which you would flee."
"His body's nothingness releases yours from sickness and from death."
"Sickness is a demand the body be a thing that it is not. Its NOTHINGNESS is guarantee that it can NOT be sick. In your demand that it be MORE than this lies the idea of sickness."
"What can the causeless BE but nothingness. The picture of your brother that you see is wholly absent, and has never been. Let, then, the empty space it occupies be RECOGNIZED as vacant, and the time devoted to its seeing be perceived as idly spent, a time unoccupied."
"For here is nothingness, where neither birth nor death is real, nor any form in the misshapen mind that spawned it has any meaning in the Mind of God."
"Dreams are dreams, and every one is equally untrue. This is the only lesson to be learned. Yet will fear linger until every one is recognized as nothingness, and seen exactly as it is and nothing more."
"Now the hosts of Heaven come with us, to sweep away all vestiges of dreams and every thought that rests on nothingness."
"The final judgment on the world contains no condemnation. For it sees the world as totally forgiven, without sin, and wholly purposeless. Without a cause, and now without a function in Christ's sight, it merely slips away to nothingness. There it was born, and there it ends as well. And all the figures in the dream in which the world began go with it. Bodies now are useless, and will therefore fade away, because the Son of God is limitless."
"Your faith is placed in the most trivial and insane symbols; pills, money, "protective" clothing, "influence," "prestige," being liked, knowing the "right" people, and an endless list of forms of nothingness which you endow with magical powers."
"Yet how can sight which stops at nothingness, as if it WERE a solid wall, see truly? It is HELD BACK by form, having been made to guarantee that nothing else BUT form will be perceived. These eyes, made NOT to see, will NEVER see." ... "See how the body's eyes rest on externals, and CANNOT go beyond. Watch how they STOP at nothingness, unable to go BEYOND the form to meaning."
"To overlook nothingness is merely to judge it correctly, and because of your ability to evaluate it truly, to LET IT GO."
"To recognize this is to recognize nothingness when you think you see it. As such, it is the prerequisite for vision."
"The body disappears, and no longer hides what lies beyond. It merely ceases to interfere with vision. To roll the stone away is to see beyond the tomb, beyond death, and to understand the body's nothingness. What is understood as nothing must disappear."
"The "changes" the ego seeks to make are not really changes. They are but deeper shadows, or perhaps different cloud patterns. Yet what is made of nothingness cannot be called new or different. Illusions are illusions; truth is truth."
"God's Will is all there is. We can but go from nothingness to everything; from hell to Heaven."
"Such is the choice. What loss can be for you in choosing not to value nothingness? This world holds nothing that you really want, but what you choose instead you want indeed!"
"Where destruction was perceived the face of Christ appears, and in that instant is the world forgot, with time forever ended as the world spins into nothingness from where it came."
"But hold out your JOINED hands and touch this heavy-seeming block, and you will learn how easily your fingers slip through its nothingness. It is no solid wall. And only an illusion stands between you and the holy Self you share."
"What is the SENSE in seeking to be safe in what was MADE for danger and for fear? Why burden it with further locks and chains and heavy anchors, when its weakness lies, NOT in itself, but in the frailty of the little gap of nothingness whereon it stands?"
"The bleak little world will vanish into nothingness, and your heart will be so filled with joy that it will leap into Heaven and into the presence of God."
"God wills salvation be received today, and that the intricacies of your dreams no longer hide their nothingness from you."
"Nothingness will become invisible, for you will at last have seen truly."
"Like all things in the world its meaning is temporary, and will ultimately fade into the nothingness from which it came when there is no more use for it."
"Now are they without effects. They cannot be concealed because their nothingness is recognized."
"And the alternative you think you chose seems fearful and too dangerous to be the nothingness it actually is."
"How can a battle be perceived as nothingness, when you ENGAGE in it? How can the truth of miracles be RECOGNIZED, if murder is your choice?"
"There is a silence covering the world that was an ancient dream so long ago no one remembers now. Its time is done, and in the little space it seemed to have is nothingness. The dream has gone, and all its dreams of gifts have disappeared as well. The first dream has been seen and understood for merely an illusion of the fear on which the world was based."
"To mean these words acknowledges illusions are in vain, requesting the eternal in the place of shifting dreams which seem to change in what they offer, but are one in nothingness."
"Pursuit of the imagined leads to death because it is the search for nothingness, and while you seek for life you ask for death"
"Real choice is no illusion. But the world has none to offer. ALL its roads but lead to disappointment, nothingness and death. There IS no choice in its alternatives."
"The more complicated the results become, the harder it may be to recognize their nothingness, but it is not necessary to examine ALL possible outcomes to which premises give rise to judge the PREMISES truly."
"Forgiveness is the only thing that stands for truth in the illusions of the world. It sees their nothingness, and looks right through the thousand forms in which they may appear. It looks on lies but it is not deceived. It does not heed the self-accusing shrieks of sinners mad with guilt."
"EVERY illusion carries pain and suffering in the dark folds of the heavy garments with which it hides its nothingness."
"And so is ALL time past, and everything EXACTLY as it was before the way to nothingness was made."
"Specialness is the idea of sin MADE REAL. Sin is impossible even to imagine, without this base. For sin rose from it, out of nothingness, an evil flower with no roots at all."
"Only the ANTICIPATION will frighten you, for the reality of nothingness cannot be frightening."
"Very simply, then, you may BELIEVE you are afraid of nothingNESS, but you are REALLY afraid of NOTHING. And in THAT awareness you ARE healed."
"In the Divine psyche, the Father and the Holy Spirit are not incomplete at all. The Sonship has the unique faculty of believing in error, or incompleteness, if he so elects. However, it is quite apparent that so to elect IS to believe in the existence of nothingness. The correction of this error is the Atonement."
Continuing with the "it's bullshit" theme, let's look at how guilt is also bullshit.
Guilt is not atonement. It is not compensation. It does not make up for doing something wrong. It does not help the person who you hurt. It does not undo what happened. It does absolutely nothing to correct sin. It does not give a gift to the person you attacked. Guilt does not heal anyone.
It doesn't pay for or correlate to the amount of sin that you caused. It does not prove that you did not want to sin. It does not demonstrate that you have "repented". It does not equate to atonement or forgiveness. It does not indicate that you really did not want to do what you did. And it does not raise the overall level of happiness in the world.
Guilt is justified self-attack, resulting from a failure to forgive. But guilt has an even deeper motive.
When you sin, or believe in sin, it is very deliberate. Whatever act it is that you "did", you did it by choosing to do it. Make no mistake that in your ego belief, you wanted to attack, intended to attack, wanted to destroy God, desired to be opposed to God, were being murderous and hateful, wanted the consequences of your attack to be real, desired to overthrow God's will and power, wanted to affect God and make Him dead, and wanted to really believe strongly in sin being "reality" - that you really did bring about real "success" in your attempted separation. Sin is a belief that death is real.
Realize also that at every stage of separation from God, denial is used to try to make whatever is present go unconscious. It is an act of trying to get rid of yourself, because the whole purpose for the dream of death is to destroy yourself. You tried to get rid of yourself by getting rid of God, shutting Him out of awareness, making him unconscious to you. Then you are left staring sin in the face.
But this wasn't enough for you. Just "sinning" did not completely destroy you. So you had to keep on denying yourself, keep on making stuff go unconscious, and keep progressing towards a state of TOTAL DEATH. Sin demands death and will stop at nothing until it is enacted, because only when it is completely implemented will the belief in the permanence and non-reversibility of sin be completed.
So what you did next was make sin go unconscious, denied that sin had happened, and covered it over with another layer of illusion. On purpose. The purpose was to KEEP the sin real, not heal or reverse it, and to add another layer of denial to take you closer to death. You implemented this by INVENTING GUILT.
Guilt, then, is this state of mind in which you start to claim, and make illusions which appear to show, that you DID NOT WANT TO SIN. OOoo.... so ok, first you are believing in murder and death and killing God, and then.... you start to pretend that you did not want to do it, even though you did. Guilt therefore is your attempt to FAKE that you really felt remorseful, guilty, ashamed, that you somehow RECOGNIZED that you did something that you should not have done, and that now you somehow want to "take it back" or "wish that it had no consequences" or "yearn for re-uinion" or whatever else bullshit.
Guilt will position you as APPEARING to claim that you didn't want to sin and "wish" that it hadn't happened, BUT a WISH is not a WILL. The guilt will not actually *do anything* whatsoever to undo the sin. The guilt merely establishes that you believe heavily in the sin, because you think it has reality and truth to it, and you have NO intention whatsoever of undoing that or challenging it. The guilt is a total facade to try to make out that you feel sorry about it or didn't mean it, in a completely powerless, non-active, non-consequence-producing way, which has absolutely no effect on the sin itself or its consequences.
Realize also then that guilt or shame is completely self-serving, and also contains a component of feeling sorry for YOURSELF that, because you sinned, you now are going to lose out or be punished. Guilt is a reaction to sin, the opposite of forgiveness. Forgiveness will say you did not really sin and nothing was hurt and there's no reason to be upset. But guilt goes the other way, and says the sin was so real that you don't deserve forgiveness.
This lack of deserving or worthiness of being forgiven, then starts to establish your belief that you are "not good enough" or you don't deserve to be loved or you are unworthy of God or forgiveness. And this will create a belief in you that God couldn't love you, SHOULD NOT love you, and that you REFUSE to accept that He DOES love you, because really you have NO interest at that point in retracing your steps. The positioning of yourself as unworthy and unlovable, which comes across even to yourself as a kind of sorrowful, pityful, unfairly-treated sort of experience, is actually the total opposite in its purpose. IT IS FAKE. It's nothing less than an attempt to KEEP sin and guilt and do *NOTHING* about them to actually change them in any way.
Just as there is no such thing as real sin, there is no such thing as real guilt. All guilt is fake. A "guilty conscience" is a bullshit conscience. Guilt has been put on a pedestal by the ego to celebrate its success at murdering God, and to pretend that it is innocent. It wants someone else to be *responsible* for it, to accuse someone else of sin (even if that means they kill you), but only so that the "evidence" that YOU were the one who chose to make sin real is completely hidden. No-one would suspect you of murder if you APPEAR to be innocent.
No-one would accuse you of being the one who sins if you come across as having a facade of sweetness and niceness, guiltlessness, weakness, powerlessness, hopelessness, unworthiness, fearfulness, vulnerability, littleness, or ignorance. The ego's entire strategy for IMPLEMENTING DEATH is to first of all set up the belief in death by believing in sin, then enacting every step necessary to bring about death. It does this by attempting to strip you of all responsibility, all power, all will, all mind, and to portray you as a weak helpless VICTIM, who can't POSSIBLY have chosen to sin and who is now being completely unfairly accused by external sources. Those external sources will then come to be the pretend jduge and jury who deal a death sentence and inflict the final blow on your now completely helpless, victim-ridden self, to prove that YOU DID NOT SIN.
Who could suspect you of sin if you were just innocently, inevitably, unfairly attacked and mistreated, in such a way that is destroys you and APPEARS to be against your will? It is a fake death. You are faking your own death by pretending to not believe in sin when you still believe in deep down. People who APPEAR innocent are NOT INNOCENT. They are very filled with sin and guilt. The fake innocence facade is a perfect disguise. Guilt is the 2nd step in implementing it, and the belief in deserving punishment which comes from guilt lays the groundwork for implementing the 3rd step - fear of punishment, which is also 100% bullshit.
So you see, guilt is not genuine. It does not help anyone or correct anything or atone for anything to be guilty. It just keeps all of the consequences of what you did and protects them behind layers of denial. If you were really, really interested in "atoning" for sin, you would actually take action steps which would UNDO THE SIN AND ITS CONSEQUENCES. You wouldn't be like, oh I guess you have to live with the consequences now, nothing I can do about it. Instead, you'd be choosing MIRACLES to correct and undo all of the side-effects of your wrong decision, with Holy Spirit. And that means lifting all of the signs of attack off of yourself and anyone who was involved.
Going into guilt also is usually SUPPORTED by the person that you attacked, whereby they feel justified in proving you are guilty, leaping at the opportunity to condemn you, and failing to forgive entirely. To hold you condemned in guilt for your sin, the other person thinks they are righteous and justified but they are just as much enacting bullshit. It does not help anyone to be guilty. What the attacked person should be doing is finding you INNOCENT, forgiving you, overlooking the belief in sin, PROVING that they cannot be hurt by you by disallowing any effects in their mind or emotions or body, and therefore teaching you that YOU DID NOT attack them and are innocent.
Only when there is "redemption", ie both parties are lifted UP closer to the light, closer to forgiveness, closer to truth, closer to the undoing of sin and guilt, that is the ONLY real form of atonement. If you're not approaching the atonement then you're going into the ego, no matter who you are or what side the victim/victimizer drama you fall on.
Guilt is a lie. A big fat stinking lie. It's just another ego ILLUSION designed to LOOK LIKE you gave a crap about sinning, while doing nothing about it, using it as JUSTIFICATION to attack yourself even more and put yourself down and destroy yourself as a SACRIFICIAL OFFERING to the person you supposedly did this to. Dying is not atonement. Self destruction is not atonement. Guilt is not atonement.
Another way many people fall into this is by believing that if they hurt a loved one, they should be GUILTY in order to show that they are LOVING. They will go into guilt-ridden justifications and compulsions to try to "make it up" to the person. They will do housework out of guilt. They will buy make-up gifts out of guilt. They will "owe" the person something. They will try to do stuff to compensate and "balance out" the offense, to try to win back favor. This is not love! It is so often believed to be what it means to give a shit or to love someone. IT IS ATTACK. It's like rubbing salt in the wound.
All guilt is bullshit. We need to look at this and admit to it and stop using this EGO WEAPON as a disguise to pretend that we didn't want to sin. We did want to sin. Every death celebrates that fact. If we truly give a shit, we will undo guilt, undo sin, undo death, undo ILLUSIONS of consequences that we think we caused, recognize our PERMANENT INNOCENCE, and return to God. Guilt is arrogant. You ARE worthy of love and forgiveness.
Sometimes I become interested in something external, and excited about doing it. I seem to feel good about it at the time, and it seems as if the thing itself causes me to feel good about it. And I take that to mean that I should do this thing, because it feels good to do it. As if to say, doing this thing "makes me" feel happier.
But then, my mood changes, and with it my perception changes. The whole way that the thing is framed to my mind changes. It doesn't hold the appeal that it had before. It seems to lack the excitement and I've lost interest. I wonder to myself why I became disillusioned and whether it was the right thing to be doing after all, and how it was that I was seemingly so into it not so long ago and now I feel nothing about it.
And then perhaps I am encouraged and the excitement comes back and my perception changes and once again the thing seems appealing, as if it has once again taken on the magical sparkle. It again looks like it's something I'm into and enjoying and therefore, that must mean, that the thing itself is causing me to enjoy it, and so I should be doing it because it makes me feel good. Follow your bliss and all that.
But then the feeling state changes again, and once again the perception of the thing is different, and my whole interest in it melts into nothing as if I can't tell why I was ever interested in it to begin with. And then I look at it and it seems empty and cold.
This constant flip-flopping back and forth is really based on a mistaken idea that the thing outside of me is the cause of how I'm feeling. As if it's important in life to find things which "make you happy." And the things out there in the world, hobbies, projects, activities, whatever, have some inherent causal power of their own to do stuff to you that you "like" more than other things.
When you're in the good mood place you perceive the thing differently than when you're not in a good mood. I have wondered to myself if it is only the times that I don't feel so happy that I also lose interest in things. But I'm not sure it's just about happiness or not, it seems to shift all over the place.
The issue is that that I believe the thing itself is not neutral, and is able to cause me to feel something, that I should become able to "like it", and want to do more of it. Like your favourite ice cream flavour or candy bar which you prefer more than others. Because apparently I'm getting something from it. It's feeding me, doing something to me, changing me, defining me, forcing me to feel a certain way. As a kind of "positive victimhood."
But when my feeling state changes and my perception changes it's like the whole thing just went down the toilet. I can't seem to maintain a consistent steady mental attitude for a long time. Perhaps for a week or two, but then it shifts. Then I'm flip-flopping constantly wondering, should I be doing this thing, or not? Should I do this project, or not? Should I pursue this more, or not? And there's always this greener grass and something else to flip to.
And I then can't decide because I just seem to keep going back and forth on this rollercoaster of being at the effect of something external, seemingly... when in fact it's really the internal state that is the determiner of how I feel and perceive. By not recognising that the inner state comes first, I look to the outer state for evidence of whether a certain thing is something i want or not, on the basis of what it seems to "make me feel."
But it's always that how I feel internally is the determiner of whether or not I seem to be enjoying what is external. It comes from within, not without. I've gone back and forth on some things so many times with fleeting periods of interest and disinterest and never quite knowing whether I want to do the thing or not. Sometimes it's appealing and sometimes it's not.
What occurs to me simply is that this is all because my mind seems to look externally for validation and for figuring out whether something is something I want or not, whether I am getting something from it, and whether I like what I'm getting. But this ignores that I am always projecting, and then perceiving. It ignores that I am choosing how I feel first, and then am projecting that out and seeing it reflected in the thing I'm doing. I'm literally "making up" what it means to me as I go along.
Sometimes my projections make certain things look rosier and more interesting. Sometimes my projections make them look lacklustre and having no appeal at all. But I think if I stay "addicted" to getting stuff from outside of myself in this way, I will just keep flopping all over the place wondering whether or not something is "the chosen one". Trying to figure out what to do iin life, what I want, what to get, what to enjoy, on the basis of what it does to me, is a constant state of confusion.
It's possible based on personality or beliefs or interests or aptitudes that, yes, there could be some activities that seem to align more with one's nature, and those might seem to more easily induce feelings of attraction and happiness. But if all happiness comes from God, it can't really come from without. And if I am immortal and changeless, it can't be that even my feelings are forced upon me by external stimulation.
I think that the more I realize that all happiness belongs to God and that you can only be happy when you are with God, the more I'm questioning whether anything external can "make me happy" at all. Or whether all I've been doing all these years is just making stuff up as I go along and not realising it, not realising that I've been projecting completely random attitudes onto the world and then believing that what they show me is what things really mean, or what their value is.
ACIM would say that nothing in the world can bring oppression or make you ill or sad or weak or frail or die. And similarly that nothing in the world can bring you peace, or take your peace away. And it would probably also say that nothing in the world can force you to be happy, or give you what you want, or in fact give you anything whatsoever, or do anything to you, or stop you doing anything. Because the world does nothing at all, and all the rest of the make-believe story bullshit about whether it's the right or good thing or not is a totally subjective projection.
It's strange to realize that it's not the stuff I'm doing or the activities or the external things that are determiners of what I feel or whether I want to do them or not. It starts within with my inner state and my connection to God, or lack thereof. And then I project out from that state and perceive the world, giving it flavours, assigning meanings, dressing some things up as more worthy and more appealing while dressing other things down. And then it shifts and changes and is completely unstable. "What it means to me" is total fiction.
I guess the moral of the story is that, I have to learn not to depend on the world or specific forms of things to cause me to feel certain ways. To stop trying to find happiness from outside of myself. To realize that it's got nothing to do with whether a certain thing is right or wrong or interesting or boring or a "good fit for me."
It's just wholly a matter of... what will I align myself with within, first, and what will I bring to the world or extend out into it or project upon it. And maybe there's a way to be happy in spite of what is external, even in the presence of unconventional things which might before have "caused" unhappiness.
The final truth really is that the world is meaningless and neutral and nothing, and none of its forms mean anything more than others, and none of it does anything different to anything else, and none of it has any more potential to make us happier or sadder or anything whatsoever. Because we are no longer trying to "get" from the world... .when we know the only place we can get anything worth having, is from God within.
"It is impossible the Son of God be merely driven by events OUTSIDE him. It is impossible that the happenings that come to him were NOT his choice. His power of decision is the DETERMINER of every situation in which he seems to FIND himself by chance or accident. No accident or chance is POSSIBLE within the universe as God created it, OUTSIDE of which is nothing. Suffer, and YOU decided sin was your goal. Be happy, and you GAVE the power of decision to Him Who MUST decide for God for you. This is the little gift you offer to the Holy Spirit, and even this He gave to you to give yourself. For, BY this gift, is given you the power to release your Savior, that HE may give salvation unto YOU."
"It takes great learning both to realize and to accept the fact that the world has nothing to give."
"No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision. No one suffers pain except his choice elects this state for him. No one can grieve nor fear nor think him sick unless these are the outcomes that he wants, and no one dies without his own consent. Nothing occurs but represents your wish, and nothing is omitted that you choose. Here is your world, complete in all details. Here is its whole reality for you. And it is only here salvation is."
Heaven is possible. Earth is impossible. This is a simple enough fact. But maybe you don't realize just to what extent the things of Earth are impossible. For it is here in "this world" that things which CANNOT OCCUR in heaven, seem to occur constantly. Things which cannot be true, appear to be always true. Events which cannot occur, seem to occur. Impossible consequences seem easy to cause.
For example, nothing real can be threatened or die. In this world, however, it is easy to threaten anything and destroy it. This is in fact technically impossible. Nothing in heaven can die because it has immortality. So what is this seeming appearance that something can be easily attacked and destroyed? It's can't BE HAPPENING. Everything about it must be a lie. Right down to the very atoms that are forming the murder weapon, and the subatomic forces that are allowing the body to be damaged. IT CAN'T BE!
When you really look at it, it is shocking. Everything that SEEMS POSSIBLE in this world IS IMPOSSIBLE in reality. Destruction of any kind of not possible. Sin is not possible. Death is not possible. Attack is not possible. Sickness is not possible. Damage is not possible. Fear and guilt are not possible. Murder is not possible. Space and time are not possible. The laws of physics are not possible. Consumption and decay are not possible. Change is not possible. Just look around you, all the things which seem COMMON and ever-present and constantly proving their possibility here, CANNOT BE. This world can't be here.
If a body is attacked, and it lays on the ground in a pool of blood, with flesh wounds and damage, this is impossible. This is what we call the "proof of sin". So long as it is there AT ALL, in this form, it is testifying that SIN IS REAL. That attack DID happen with real consequences. And its evidence is easy for anyone to look upon, and not deny. For if the body is damaged and dying on the ground, something IMPOSSIBLE is happening.
Do you realize the extent of this? It means that this whole world and all its workings and EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS, all events, all causes and effects, all states of matter, all forms of growth and decay, everything in this universe, IS A LIE. It CANNOT happen in reality.
" it merely seems to go to sleep a while. It dreams of time; an interval in which what seems to happen never has occurred, the changes wrought are substanceless, and all events are nowhere."
Two planets colliding and blowing each other up, utterly impossible. Bodies consuming each other, utterly impossible. Sickness and suffering and pain, COMPLETELY impossible. All that is required here is to be aware of God's truth. Look at what is true in God and his reality. And then COMPARE it to this world. And recognize they are NOT the same. In fact Earth opposes heaven completely and totally. "Earth, which is heaven's opposite in every way."
Then you have to ask yourself, how can it be POSSIBLE, that this world is in ANY WAY like God or God's creation, given that it demonstrates things that are NOT POSSIBLE in God or to or for God? EITHER heaven's reality is true, OR this world is true. Either the Kingdom is real, or Earth is real. They CANNOT BOTH BE TRUE. Either death can happen, or it cannot. And death is RAMPANT on this planet, so can this planet be true? Not it cannot.
"Others find it in experience that is not of this world, which shows them that the world does not exist because what they behold must be the truth, and yet it clearly contradicts the world. "
When you understand what heaven is like, it becomes starkly obvious that this world comprises the EXACT OPPOSITE, and is constantly trying to demonstrate that what CANNOT HAPPEN is happening. That there is real pain and suffering and destruction. These things cannot even exist. If you are seeing them, you MUST be hallucinating a fantasy world. And no amount of forgiveness or changed perception will alter the fact that while bodies CAN still change and suffer and die, UNREALITY is there. Because the world you made is false.
"The ego may ask, "How did the impossible occur?", "To what did the impossible happen?", and may ask in many forms."
"Only the body makes the world seem real, for being separate it could not remain where separation is impossible. Forgiveness proves it is impossible because it sees it not."
"Pain is impossible. There is no grief with any cause at all and suffering of any kind is nothing but a dream."
"grief and pain must be impossible"
"That is why attack WITHIN the Kingdom is impossible."
"You are in an impossible situation only because you thought it was possible to be in one."
"because the ego wishes for the impossible"
"In illusions the impossible is easily accomplished, but only at the cost of making illusions true."
"For it is here the split with God occurs. A split that is impossible. A split that cannot happen. Yet a split in which you surely will believe, because you have set up a situation that is impossible. And in this situation the impossible can seem to happen."
"Sin is impossible, and on this fact forgiveness rests upon a certain base more solid than the shadow world we see."
"Harm is impossible for God's teachers."
"Gentleness means that fear is now impossible"
"Fear is deception. It attests that you have seen yourself as you could never be, and therefore look upon a world which is impossible."
"It IS impossible to see your brother sinless, and yet to look upon him as a body."
"To see a SINLESS body is impossible."
"HE TEACHES THAT THE PAST DOES NOT EXIST, a fact which belongs to the sphere of knowledge, and which therefore NO-ONE IN THE WORLD KNOWS. It would indeed be impossible to BE in the world with this knowledge. For the mind that knows this unequivocally, knows also that it dwells in eternity, and utilizes no perception at all."
"It is impossible to conceive of light and darkness, or, everything and nothing, as joint possibilities."
"UNCONSCIOUSNESS IS IMPOSSIBLE."
"Only the body makes the world seem real, for being separate it could not remain where separation is impossible. Forgiveness proves it is impossible because it sees it not."
"Attack is neither safe nor dangerous. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE."
"which makes ALL fear impossible"
"Loss of ANY kind is impossible."
"Being faced with an impossible learning situation, REGARDLESS of why it is impossible, is the most depressing thing in the world."
"What is more difficult to grasp is the lack of order of magnitude, which stamps the miracle as something that MUST come from elsewhere, NOT from here. From the world's viewpoint, this is quite impossible."
"For form is not enough for meaning, and the underlying LACK of content, makes a cohesive system impossible."
"terror is impossible"
"If the body could be sick Atonement would be impossible."
"But if destruction ITSELF is impossible, then ANYTHING that is destructible cannot be real."
"Actually, a meaningless world is impossible."
"Injury is impossible. And yet illusion makes illusion."
"Hear not its madness, and believe not the impossible is true. Forget not that the ego has DEDICATED the body to the goal of sin, and places in it ALL its faith that this can be accomplished."
"To God, unknowing is impossible. It is therefore not a point of view at all, but merely a belief in something that does not exist."
"Life not in Heaven is impossible, and what is NOT in Heaven is not ANYWHERE."
"Outside of Heaven, only the conflict of illusions stands; senseless, impossible, and beyond ALL reason, and yet perceived as an eternal BARRIER to Heaven."
"Without illusions conflict is impossible."
"The idea for today is, of course, the reason why a meaningless world is impossible. What God did not create does not exist."
"It is impossible to let illusions be brought to truth and keep the illusions."
"The sight of innocence makes punishment impossible, and justice sure."
"The impossible can happen ONLY in fantasy."
"War is impossible unless belief in VICTORY is cherished."
"Those who communicate fear are promoting attack, and attack always BREAKS communication, and therefore makes communion impossible."
"If you wish to be the author of reality, which is totally impossible anyway, then you will insist on holding on to judgment.
"rejection is impossible."
"It is impossible the Son of God be merely driven by events OUTSIDE him. It is impossible that the happenings that come to him were NOT his choice. " "He offered us all a final demonstration that it is impossible to kill God's Son; nor can his life in any way be changed by sin and evil, malice, fear or death."
"Freedom must be impossible as long as you perceive a body as yourself. "the special love relationship would thus ACCOMPLISH THE IMPOSSIBLE." "It IS the belief that conflicting interests are possible, and therefore means that you have accepted the IMpossible as true."
"It is impossible that one can gain because another loses."
"Perception is impossible WITHOUT a belief in "more" and "less."
"Partial KNOWLEDGE is impossible."
"Where there is death is peace impossible."
"The world MUST despise and reject me, because the world IS the belief that love is impossible."
"Here the world of idols has been set by the idea this power and place and time are given form, and shape the world where the impossible has happened."
"The learning situation in which you place yourself IS impossible, and IN this situation, you clearly require a special teacher, and a special curriculum."
"For if the dream were real, escape would be impossible, and there would be no hope except illusions."
"Impossible indeed; but every mind which looks upon the world and judges it as certain, solid, trustworthy and true believes in two creators; or in one, himself alone. But never in One God."
"How simple is salvation! All it says is what was never true is not true now, and never will be. The impossible has NOT occurred, and CAN have no effects. "
"And sin MUST be impossible"
"In this world, it is impossible to create."
Space and time are nothing but beliefs. This doesn't mean that we merely have beliefs "about" space and time, as if they really exist separate from our beliefs. They exist ONLY WITHIN our believing in them, and without believing in them they DO NOT exist at all.
"There is no world (spacetime) apart from what you wish."
If you have a good grasp of what space and time ARE, it becomes very obvious that they are not the same as reality. In fact they are totally opposite to reality. This also then tells you that anything WITHIN spacetime is opposite to reality as well. And it also further tells you that WITHOUT spacetime, nothing whose nature COMES FROM spacetime can exist, because it depends on spacetime for its entire existence.
In reality, God is omnipresent which means all of God is in all parts of God/existence simultaneously. God is everywhere. When we made the idea of "space", we attempted something COMPLETELY OPPOSITE to this.
Space is the idea of separated-out locations, in which each location is kept apart and is exclusive of the other locations. What is in one location is not in another location. There is no sharing of locations. The contents of one location cannot touch or overlap the contents of another. There is no true joining or sharing of any kind. All locations repel all others and hold them apart through what science calls atomic forces, but really is the idea of trying to put distance between yourself and God.
Space therefore invented the idea of a gap, separation, distance, avoidance, exclusion, repulsion, rejection, dissociation, and isolation. It gave rise to the seeming possibility that something can exist in one location and NOT exist in the others. Which in turn seems to make it possible for atoms and particles to exist separately and without touching each other. So long as there is the idea of spatial separation, "matter" is possible.
Matter requires that all its parts be kept SEPARATE otherwise not only could there not even be a three-dimensional object that "takes up space" or "spans across locations", but all objects would attempt to share the same space and cause a massive nuclear explosion. This is basic stuff supported by science. Atomic overlap causes atomic explosions. The seemingly physical material universe is therefore dependent on the idea of MAINTAINING SEPARATION at all costs.
Space also is the assertion that anything which exists only exists in PART of the space, and that what exists in that part is only a PART of existence. Therefore anything that exists does not WHOLLY exist and is NOT whole. This in turn implies that nothing is everywhere. Which also implies that everything is nowhere. Which is the entire idea that "God, whose nature is to be everywhere, does not exist anywhere". This is because "the world was made as an attack on God." "A place where God could enter not."
Just as space is UTTERLY upposite to God's nature, so too is time. Eternity means that what exists always exists. It is eternal, never-ending, permanent, immortal. It cannot ever stop existing. The idea of stopping existing is the idea of interruption, change, alteration, decay, modification, etc. This is totally incompatible with eternity. Nothing eternal can EVER change otherwise we introduce the potential for an END, and for death.
Time is the notion TOTALLY OPPOSITE to eternity, that whatever existed no longer exists, having died. And what exists now, is not the same as what used to exist, having changed. And what exists now will not always exist, because death or change is inevitable. Even the idea of change ITSELF is the idea of time, producing a "dream of death." SPACETIME IS DEATH! It's the very idea of bringing an END to what is endless, and making temporary what is permanent, and making mortal what is immortal.
"When the mind elects to be what it is not, and to assume an alien power which it does not have, a foreign state it cannot enter, or a false condition not within its Source, it merely seems to go to sleep a while. ***It dreams of time***; an interval in which what seems to happen never has occurred, the changes wrought are substance-less, and all events are nowhere."
Time was made as a total attack on God's nature. It is the suggestion that God and his creation, which are eternal and changeless, are in a state of total constant change, decay, suffering, alteration, interruption, attackability, impermanece and death. Just the idea that everything is always changing is the idea that "everything is always dying". The laws of nature such as that flowers bloom and die and human bodies bloom and die and planets bloom and die and so on, is INHERENT to the nature of time itself.
Time is really the idea that God is dead, once again in support of space's idea that God is nowhere. It says God is no-when, did not exist before, does not exist now, and will not exist in future. It is an attempt to eradicate eternity. Time was made in the separation in an attempt to DENY eternity. And everything that changes, grows, withers, dies, is born, transforms, modifies, interferes, attacks, can be hurt or damaged, etc... is entirely goverened by and DEPENDENT upon time.
"It IS a joke to think that time can come to circumvent eternity, which MEANS there is no time. "
"It would persuade the holy Son of God he is a body, born in what must die"
Therefore space-time is an attack on God, it is in TOTAL OPPOSITION to God's nature, it is ENTIRELY UNLIKE reality, and NOTHING like heaven. And everything which has arisen WITHIN the confines of spacetime, is similarly TOTALLY OPPOSITE to reality. "Earth, heaven's opposite in every way." And everything within spacetime COMPLETELY depends on space and time "existing" in order to "exist."
Without space you CANNOT HAVE OBJECTS. Of any kind. Planets, bodies, cake, houses, cars, galaxies, all depend on spatial separation of particles. They all REQUIRE an ongoing assertion that God is dead. "The world is a picture of the crucifixion of God's son." If space or time were to END, which they MUST because they are not permanent in any way, ALL THINGS which are based on space and time must end as well. They CANNOT REMAIN.
You cannot have a three dimensional physical object without the atoms being held apart by space, and time governing their constant chemical and physical interactions. There is no motion without time. There is no growth without time. There is no birth and death of bodies without time. There are no planets without space. There is no world of spacetime without space or time. And both space and time are entirely illusions of an attempt to deny the reality of God.
It is a mistake to think that there is a way to KEEP the physical world while being IN reality, or that the world IS heaven, or that three dimensionality can remain WITHOUT spacetime. Sorry but this is impossible. This is why the world will eventually end and all the stars will disappear in light and all the galaxies will vanish. They MUST go if spacetime goes. You cannot have any of it without the belief in separation.
"Without the idea of death there is no world."
"Perception is temporary. It is an attribute of the space-time belief, and is therefore subject to fear or love."
"Ultimately, of course, space is as meaningless as time. The concept is really one of space-time BELIEF. The physical world exists only because man can use it to correct his UNBELIEF, which placed him in it originally. As long as man KNEW he did not need anything, the whole device was unnecessary."
"Like all aspects of the space-time belief, healing ability is temporary."
"Acts were not necessary before the Separation, because the time-space belief did not exist."
"The Atonement was built into the space-time belief in order to set a limit on the need for the belief, and ultimately to make learning complete."
"The body is the ego's idol; the belief in sin made flesh, and then projected outward. This produces what seems to be a wall of flesh around the mind, keeping it prisoner in a tiny spot of space and time, beholden unto death, and given but an instant in which to sigh and grieve and die in honor of its master. "
"The mind that serves the Holy Spirit is unlimited forever, in all ways, beyond the laws of time and space, unbound by any preconceptions, and with strength and power to do whatever it is asked."
"Every law of time and space, of magnitude and mass, of prediction and control, is transcended, for what the Holy Spirit enables you to do is clearly beyond ALL of them."
"And those who serve the lord of death have come to worship in a separated world"
"And once all guilt is gone what more remains to keep a separated world in place? For place has gone as well, along with time. Only the body makes the world seem real, for being separate it could not remain where separation is impossible."
"And here They join, for here the face of Christ has shone away time's final instant."
"For where God's memory has come at last there is no journey, no belief in sin, no walls, no bodies, and the grim appeal of guilt and death is there snuffed out forever."
"The world stands like a block before Christ's face. But true perception looks on it as nothing more than just a fragile veil, so easily dispelled that it can last no longer than an instant. It is seen at last for only what it is. And now it cannot fail to disappear, for now there is an empty place made clean and ready. Where destruction was perceived the face of Christ appears, and in that instant is the world forgot, with time forever ended as the world spins into nothingness from where it came."
"Here He leans down to lift you up to Him, out of illusions into holiness; out of the world and to eternity; out of all fear and given back to love."
In ACIM we're often talking about "the separation", or being separate. This is a way to describe a divide between two things. But another way is to refer to two "opposites". Heaven and hell, life and death, reality and illusions, etc. The separation was an act of opposition against God, producing an opposite state of mind.
When we're in a "separated state", we're in a state of opposition. This means we have an opponent, which we are totally un-like. And it also means we are at war. And because we are un-like our opposition, we do not "like" it. And this produces great tension.
When there seems to be opposition, there is tremendous temptation. The more extremely opposite two things are, the more they contradict each other and are in conflict. They can be in a state of extreme disagreement. In this disagreement, there is a maximal likelihood or temptation that conflict will arise, given how much the two seem to be at-odds with each other.
Tension arising from arguments, disagreements, conflicts, debates, righteousness, defensiveness, denial, protection of one's truth, opposition to or disbelief in the enemy's view, is all very likely to induce a form of war. There will be fighting and bickering and hatred and weapons being thrown and a taking of separate sides.
It's very difficult to "stay out of" such a conflict, when faced with extreme opposition. And the more they oppose you the higher the temptation is. If someone is digging in their heels and does not want a single shred of what you are offering, for example, there will be a stand-off, rejection, a communication breakdown, and a high chance of attack. They may want death, while you want life, but it won't stop them from trying to destroy you.
In this world, things which seem more alike or have something in common, seem to also experience an illusion of less conflict. I found this to be true when, for example, a person who was highly obnoxious and aggressive decided to walk a road with me one day. This person would take up a very opposing position of rebellion and anger, and this would produce a high likelihood of temptation and a flare-up of aggression. He was easily triggered due to his unhealed pain.
I decided on this occasion to pretend to be like him. So I sort of acted like him and agreed with him and spoke things he might speak, even though what I was agreeing to was not what I believed. And strangely this person started to see me as a friend or ally. I was actually doing this to try to protect myself at the time, but it showed me that it's really the distance or contrast between opposites that incites violent reactions, and so long as I did not "oppose" overtly, this person didn't target me at all.
There is similar temptation in ACIM circles, on any forum or discussion. When someone believes something opposite, particularly if it is wildly or deeply opposite, this produces a great temptation. Someone who is very patient, forgiving and calm, can perhaps resist the temptation. That takes some profound mastery. Someone who can't keep their cool in the face of intense conflict and contraryism, however, will likely lose it. How do you not be tempted by extreme evil? "One ring to rule them all"?
There is the most temptation or "tension" when something is completely opposite and contradictory. This is as if to say, someone is 180 degrees from you across the table and going head-to-head. There is also tension from misunderstanding, when someone is at 90 degrees, whereby the two do not look at anything from the same angle, like they are talking entirely different languages. They conflict more on a basis of not even understanding what each other is saying.
You'll perhaps notice that all the wars in the world are generally based on two parties very strongly disagreeing. They oppose each other. One tries to suppress the other to protect their own truth. They don't see it possible that they can live together in peace or accept each other's extremism. And just the mere existence of the other seems enough justification to destroy their heinous hedonism.
"Tension" is that sensation of very strong discordant energy between two opposites, and as each party has a stand-off and doesn't want anything to do with each other, it intensifies the tension. It's as though they rip apart from each other and pull on the fabric of existence in an effort to put as much distance between them as possible. The sense of resistance and rejection of each other heightens the tension, until breaking point.
The opposite of that tension is peace and harmony. But this can only exist either when the two opposites are able to be totally at peace with other without trying to disagree with each other, or when there are no opposites. It should also be obvious that you can't really hold a position that disagrees with someone else and be at peace. Like "let's agree to disagree" is really just a standoff, not an agreement. Either you have to be inclusive or you will be exclusive. And the only way to truly agree is that both believe exactly the same thing.
This all seems to be the same basic temptation presented over and over again in many forms in this world. Groups of people disagreeing with other groups. Nemesis and enemies going at it all over again. People getting heated because they think their beliefs are under attack. The sense of offense and hurt from other people seeming to be against your ideals. Everyone trying to correct and destroy everyone else that is different to them. Conflicts based on different bodies and genders and so on. The whole world is riddled with such temptations.
"Everything the body sees is a form of conflict." - ACIM
Sometimes when there is less contrast between two things they seem to get along. ACIM refers to them as allies, where the two are still in subjective egotism, but because their egotism "matches" they become in a way blind to each other. Neither of them "stands out" in opposition so they seem to be in harmony. But it is an illusion of harmony between two equally insane individuals. And if one of them defects, the claws come out and they scream betrayal.
Atoms and molecules conflict with each other, just by being different. Difference IS disagreement. Bodies conflict with each other just by being different. The first law of chaos is that the truth is different for everyone, and everywhere, and for everything. Every single particle of matter is different to, therefore in conflict with, every other. Everywhere you look, everything the body sees, mountains and forests and oceans and cities, it is all conflicting in its form. To be unalike is to be discordant and at war.
"The world was made as an attack on God."
"For this world is the symbol of punishment, and all the laws which seem to govern it are the laws of death."
And so where there is conflict or difference of opposition, there is temptation, because there is extreme disagreement. Difference IS attack. And if you buy into the opposition or give it any power whatsoever, you set it up as an enemy in your mind. And then you will feel attacked by it, and will be attacking yourself, and will retaliate defensively, trying to preserve your sense of truth.
All special relationships demonstrate this. They're all founded on an illusion of peace, brought about by two conflicted individuals, who are at war with the world, finding an escape from the conflict seemingly with each other by having something in common. They hide from a mutual enemy together in the confines of an exclusive relationship prison.
"When two INDIVIDUALS seek to become ONE, they are trying to DECREASE their magnitude. Each would DENY his power, for the SEPARATE union EXCLUDES THE UNIVERSE. Far more is LEFT OUTSIDE than would be taken in."
So you've got a world of differences which tempts war, and two people who are at war with the world, who "take sides" together because they see an absence of war in each other, because they both are warring in the same way. They both hate the same stuff, they both exclude the same stuff, and so they are narrow and closed off in a similar way. And this produces an illusion of love. The same happens when siding with political parties or sports teams or segments of society or religions.
But this love is very volatile and unstable and riddled with conditions and contradictions. And if any of those conditions are not met, it quickly devolves into the special hate that it's based on. If one person even decides to be more unconditionally loving, the other conditional person may see this as proof of defection, and that the other is against them and unwilling to hate with them. And then it's bye bye relationship.
I think its probably true of most people that we tend to avoid conflict and try to create an illusion of peace in life. A safe house to live in. A way to avoid sickness. An avoidance of bad people. Trying to eat the right food. Staying away from known threats and dangers. All to try to pretend that the world is not a world of conflict, to make a nice comfortable corner in the desert where you can hang out with a false sense of security. Until shit comes knocking.
True peace can only come from a transcendence of opposition. But it has to also come from "taking sides with God". That doesn't mean being against anything because in God there is no opposition. God is all encompassing and love has no opposite. It is really only the opposition to God that believes in opposites. This is why the ego attacks and hates the Holy Spirit but the Holy Spirit completely ignores it. He doesn't attack the ego at all, He just shows you that it is invalid.
To take sides with God is to be vigilant for his truth and his Kingdom. It means to believe only what God believes, if God had beliefs. To know what God knows. To be under no laws but his. To recognize that opposition is truly fiction and there is only one real world, one reality, one truth. This light then shines and shines away the darkness of rebellion and of sin and war. And in the final recognition that there is no opposite to love, conflict disappears forever.
In ACIM, we're told that we made a world, which is really spacetime, and a part of this spacetime is planet Earth. This didn't exist before the separation from God, and DEPENDS on the continuation of separation in order to take on "form".
The world itself was the idea of the opposite to everything-ness, which is the idea of nothingness. Thus the world was made as an empty shell symbolizing nothingness or a "lack of God", onto which we project meaning.
"That was the first projection of error outward. The world arose to hide it, and became the screen on which it was projected, and drawn between you and truth." (the world Earth comes between you and the truth as "emptiness" and "nothingness", and we then project ONTO the Earth)
The Earth itself is meaningless, and is nothing. Being devoid of any inherent properties of its own, like a dark shadow, it acts like a mirror, reflecting meaning given to it. You have to give it meaning because it has none. And even when you give it meaning, it still has no INHERENT meaning of its own.
"The world is nothing in itself. Your mind must give it meaning."
Because Earth is meaningless, you can project good or bad thought onto it. Thus it can REFLECT an IMAGE projected onto it. It can reflect ideas of heaven or hell, and you can see these IN it, as though a reflection once removed from the thing projected. This doesn't mean the Earth IS heaven or hell, it is neutral, but it can be INTERPRETED as REFLECTING either.
"Earth can reflect Heaven or hell; God or the ego."
"If a mind creates without love, it can create an empty shell (spacetime/Earth). This CAN be possessed by evil."
Having projected an "empty screen" AS EARTH, our egos rushed in and attempted to project ego meaning onto the Earth. It tried to focus on form and separations and differences to emphasize the separation, projecting this onto the Earth so that Earth "reflects hell."
"It represents a situation in which God and the ego "challenge" each other as to whose meaning is to be written in the empty space which meaninglessness provides. The ego rushes in frantically to establish its own "ideas" there, fearful that the void may otherwise be used to demonstrate its own unreality."
Earth, and spacetime, are a "void" of nothingness, onto which we project God or the ego. Our task then becomes to recognize that we are projecting ego/hell onto a neutral/nothing/meaningless world, and that we can instead project God/heaven onto it. This seems to project meaning and reality onto it, as well as love and peace and holiness. It then becomes possible to see IN the world, a REFLECTION of heaven.
As in "God is in everything I see". This doesn't mean the thing reflect IS LITERALLY the world or AS it, but is reflected IN it. Just as an image of your body is seen IN a mirror. This reflection is an image, and is also referred to as forgiveness. It is SYMBOLIC. It represents something once removed from itself. Just as a reflected IMAGE in a mirror is once removed from the actual object. The reflection of heaven on earth is NOT heaven ITSELF, but it appears to be LIKE heaven. And it is what you PUT THERE that is "the only reality it has."
"The only thing of value in it is whatever part of it YOU look upon with love. This GIVES it the only reality it will ever have. ITS value is NOT in itself" (it has no inherent love/value/reality) A mind which is healed translates the neutral nothingness of Earth into something that resembles heaven, interpreted with ideas of wholeness and healing, with love and peace, with light and happiness etc. This "converts" in a sense, through an inner translation, the form of the world into something that seems to mean heavenly things. Thus Earth appears to the mind to become heaven-LIKE. A REFLECTION of heaven, a symbolic DREAM of heaven. A "real world."
However, we need to be clear that this reflection of heaven on Earth IS NOT the same thing as heaven ITSELF. Heaven Itself, which is reflected ONTO the Earth through projection, is still a distinct dimensional reality created by God. Earth, as a veil of illusions, as an illusory world, as an empty screen, as a void, as a nothingness, must disappear. Part of seeing heaven in it ALSO entails seeing that the world has no attributes of its own, otherwise the reflection cannot be seen. And having no attributes, Earth is recognized as NOT REALLY THERE.
As the veil thins, the mirror dissipates, the reflection in perception (forgiven world) gives way, and parts. And now it disappears and is forgotten. Everything that entailed "the Earth" fades into the nothingness from which it came. The reflection of heaven, the real world, is gone.
"The real world still is but a dream." "Even the real world will vanish from your sight."
With the disappearing of Earth and space and time and the sun and stars, shone away BY light, because they are darkness, REPLACED by heaven, all that then remains is heaven ITSELF. An actual real created "world", not Earth in any way, not space or time, or any other such form, but the living world of light, the creations of light, the true Kingdom of God, which the nothing Earth was all this time made to CONCEAL and hide.
Heaven is first reflected in the world, seen "in the world" here, as Earth is "translated" into heaven. But then Earth ends. A translation IS once removed from the original form of something, and although our minds can see the translation the thing BEING translated is still a void of nothingness and illusions. Earth cannot remain as part of the Kingdom, it is not ACTUAL holiness, the body cannot BE holy, and all other divine attributes cannot be fused into the planet.
"As nothing, which it IS, the body cannot meaningfully be invested with attributes of Christ OR of the ego. EITHER must be an error, for both would place the attributes where they cannot BE. And BOTH must be undone, for purposes of truth."
As the world, Earth, spacetime, disappears, heaven itself, a condition of ACTUAL holiness and BEING holy, is all that remains. This is A Course in Miracles.
"The world stands like a block before Christ's face. But true perception looks on it as nothing more than just a fragile veil, so easily dispelled that it can last no longer than an instant. It is seen at last for only what it is. And now it cannot fail to disappear, for now there is an empty place made clean and ready. Where destruction was perceived the face of Christ appears, and in that instant is the world forgot, with time forever ended as the world spins into nothingness from where it came."
"YOU DO NOT WANT THE WORLD. The only thing of value in it is whatever part of it YOU look upon with love. This GIVES it the only reality it will ever have. ITS value is NOT in itself" (notice how you GIVE it reality/love, it does not HAVE it itself)
"The world is nothing in itself. Your mind must give it meaning. And what you behold upon it are your wishes, acted out so you can look on them and think them real." (wishes can be unholy or holy, but they're still GIVEN and not inherent)
"This interpretation of the body will change your mind entirely about its value. Of itself it has NONE."
"But what is truth to him must be brought to the last comparison that he will ever make; the last evaluation that will be possible, the final judgment upon this world. It is the judgment of the truth upon illusion, of knowledge on perception; IT HAS NO MEANING AND DOES NOT EXIST." (the Earth mirror does not exist, spacetime has no meaning of its own)
"Creation cannot even be conceived of in the world. It has no meaning here. Forgiveness is the closest it can come to earth." (forgiveness is an earthly symbolic form of heaven's love)
"The body no more dies than it can feel. IT DOES NOTHING. Of itself, it is neither corruptible nor incorruptible. IT IS NOTHING." (this is literal, the physical body is nothing at all, it has no reality).
"It is still true that the body has no function of itself."
"The test of EVERYTHING on earth is simply this: "What is it FOR?" The answer makes it what it IS for you. It has NO meaning of itself, yet you can GIVE reality to it, according to the purpose which YOU serve." (it has NO MEANING of itself, Earth has NO MEANING of itself. You have to GIVE it TEMPORARY meaning)
"Darkness is lack of light. It does not have unique properties of its own." (Earth is like a shadow, a lack of light, the absence of God - world made as an attack on God/light etc)
"All these attributes are given it by you. The world is meaningless in itself." (Earth has no inherent attributes)
"In the world you, can become a spotless mirror, in which the holiness of your Creator shines forth from you, to all around you. You can REFLECT HEAVEN here. But no reflections of the images of other gods must dim the mirror that would hold God's reflection in it. Earth can reflect Heaven or hell; God or the ego." (Just the fact Earth can reflect VARIABLE things means NEITHER is permanent)
"Those who have learned to offer ONLY healing, because of the reflection of holiness in them, are ready at last for Heaven. There, holiness is not a reflection, but rather the ACTUAL CONDITION of what was but reflected TO them here. God is no image, and His creations, as part of Him, hold Him in them in truth. They do not merely REFLECT the truth, for THEY ARE truth." (notice how reflecting holiness on earth makes you READY to go to heaven, cus you're not there yet. IN heaven, holiness is a condition not a reflected image)
"Yet forgiveness is the means by which I will recognize my innocence. It is the reflection of God's Love on earth. It will bring me near enough to Heaven that the Love of God can reach down to me and raise me to my home." (again, bringing heaven to earth to REFLECT here, gets you ready to LEAVE)
"As I begin to see, I recognize His reflection on earth."
"Forgiveness, truth's reflection, tells me how to offer miracles, and thus escape the prison house in which I think I live."
"All the world shines in reflection of its holy light, and I perceive a world forgiven at last."
"Reflect the peace of Heaven HERE, and bring this world to Heaven. For the REFLECTION of truth draws everyone TO truth. And as they enter INTO it, they leave ALL reflections behind. In Heaven, reality is SHARED, and not reflected" (again a distinction between reality being shared (communion) in heaven, vs reality being REFLECTED on earth (communication))
"What they have felt in them they look upon, and see Its sure reflection everywhere."
"A sleeping mind must waken as it sees its own perfection mirroring the Lord of Life so perfectly it fades into what is reflected there. And now it is no more a mere reflection. It becomes the thing reflected, and the light which makes reflection possible. No vision now is needed. For the wakened mind is one that knows its Source, its Self, its Holiness." (again moving out of the reflected heaven on earth, INTO heaven proper, leaving the world behind)
"We do not see the ego's shadow on the world today. We see the light, and in it we see Heaven's reflection lie across the world." (heaven's REFLECTION, not heaven itself)
"the world he made. In error it began. But it will end in the reflection of his holiness." (the world ENDS when heaven is reflected in it, it doesn't go any further or enter INTO heaven)
"Where this Child shall go is holy ground. It is His holiness that lights up Heaven, and that brings to earth the pure reflection of the light above, wherein are earth and Heaven joined as one." (one means similar, not singular. also heaven is above the earth and they are not the same thing)
"God's laws do not obtain directly to a world perception rules, for such a world could not have been created by the Mind to which perception has no meaning. Yet are His laws reflected everywhere. ******NOT that the world where this reflection is, is real at all.*******" (The place where heaven is reflected on earth IS NOT REAL AT ALL - Earth is not real at all!! The reflection appears to be a real-like IMAGE, but is not heaven itself. Earth is never heaven but can appear heaven-like through translation.)
You are quite literally A LIGHT.
"The Thought God holds of you is like a star, unchangeable in an eternal sky."
Like a giant magnificent powerful light bulb.
You have a brightness. You shine. You radiate light.
You are a light being, shining brightly in heaven.
"Who is the light of the world except God's Son?"
"It is not humility to insist that you cannot be the light of the world, if that is the function God assigned to you."
""I am the light of the world. That is my only function. That is why I am here.""
Light is what you can "see in", as in total openness and awareness of what is. But this light ALSO shines and radiates, similar to how photons shine and radiate. This radiance is extension and creation.
"And truth stands radiant, apart from conflict, untouched and quiet, in the peace of God."
"you will see an altar to your Father, holy as Heaven, glowing with radiant purity"
"Your Self is radiant in this holy joy, unchanged, unchanging and unchangeable forever and forever."
"I am God's Son, complete and healed and whole, shining in the reflection of His Love."
It is a mental light, not a physical light. But it also comprises true power, and it can reach everywhere. This light also dispels all darkness, which is healing.
Just as there are the "great rays". Just as you as a "perfect shaft of light". Just as "gone is the body in the blinding light of the son of God". Just as you are "the light of the world."
"You are wholly lovely. A perfect shaft of pure light. Before your loveliness the stars stand transfixed, and bow to the power of your will."
When you are in the dark, in the ego, you do not shine your light much. It is dimmed because it is blocked. Unlove is a block to light's extension.
Resisting God is resisting the light in you. It makes you seem dim and darkened. And then you are lost and cannot see. You need the light to find your way and to know reality.
"I cannot see in darkness but in light."
Love and light are the same, so the more you REVEAL the light in you, by removing blocks to its awareness, the more the light is allowed to shine or extend through you.
You become brighter. You become more illuminated. In fact, the idea of "enlightenment" is the pinnacle of this. That you are en-light-ened, or "lit" or illuminated by the truth of God.
Enlightenment is but a recognition, not a change at all. It is a recognition of reality, with no blockages or denial. It therefore does not block the light.
When the mind is free of blockages, light can radiate, and you literally become brighter.
This light that's in your mind, your soul, has a brilliant radiance. It extends to infinity.
Your mind is lit by the same lamp or spark as all God's creations. This light is shared and is sharing. It is relationship.
You are capable of SHINING LIGHT into another person's mind and healing it. You can extend light to another, and regardless of the darkness of their mind, illuminate their mind or "shed light" on them from within.
It is not just a matter of you sitting there shining and hoping that the person might "come around" at some point on their own. Your light LITERALLY can CHANGE the mind of another and heal it, providing HELP to those in need who cannot help themselves.
As you forgive and purify and heal, you become more actively a light in the world. Your "shining" of yourself, your giving of love, literally increases and brightens. And the more you give it, the more you are shining.
As you shine brighter, your radiance has more power and is more miraculous. It can dispel darkness, which includes therefore the dispelling of sickness and death. Ego cannot survive in the light nor can any illusion.
This is why illusions recognized must disappear - in the light, in the perspective of true perception, in which everything is seen in the light, illusions and fantasies of darkness are shone away.
You are a "light worker" in the world, in the sense that you are literally A LIGHT in the world, shining heaven's light INTO the darkness to shine AWAY the darkness.
The light that you are, brings light to the world of darkness and shines so brightly that no dark corner remains where sickness, suffering or death can lurk. Bodies are shone away in the brilliance of the Son of God. And even the whole world and the sun and stars will disappear in light.
Send light to people. It heals them. Radiate. Extend. Express. Shower them with love. Be the light of the world. Be a light in the darkness to show the way and dispel the darkness of others. The light of God is in you now.
"Eternity will shine away the world."
"I cannot see in darkness but in light."
"Miracles are seen in the light."
"The peace of God is shining in me now. Let all things shine upon me in that peace,And let me bless them with the light in me."
"Once YOUR mind is healed, it radiates health and thereby TEACHES healing. This establishes you as a teacher who teaches LIKE me."
"My Self is holy beyond all the thoughts of holiness of which I now conceive. Its shimmering and perfect purity is far more brilliant than is any light that I have ever looked upon."
"The light that belongs in you is the light of joy. ... The light of joy is so strong that it radiates throughout the Sonship and returns thanks to the Father for radiating HIS joy upon it. Only God's own holy children are worthy to be channels of his beautiful joy, because only they are beautiful enough to hold it by sharing it."
"That is why they need your remembrance of Me and Him who created Me. Through this remembrance you can change THEIR minds about themselves, as I can change YOURS. Your minds are so powerful a light that you can look into theirs and enlighten them, as I can enlighten yours."
"The task of the miracle-worker thus becomes to DENY THE DENIAL OF TRUTH The sick must heal THEMSELVES, for the truth is IN them. But, having OBSCURED it, the light in ANOTHER mind must shine into theirs, because that light IS theirs."
"The miracle-worker begins by PERCEIVING light, and translates HIS perception into sureness by continually extending it, and ACCEPTING ITS ACKNOWLEDGMENT. Its EFFECTS assure him IT IS THERE. The therapist does not heal; he LETS HEALING BE. HE can point to darkness, but he CANNOT bring light OF HIMSELF, for light is NOT of him. But being FOR him, it MUST be for his patient."
"The Thought God holds of you is like a star, unchangeable in an eternal sky. So high in Heaven is it set that those outside of Heaven know not it is there. But still and white and lovely will it shine through all eternity. There was no time it was not there; no instant when its light grew dimmer or less perfect ever was. Who knows the Father knows this light, for He is the eternal sky which holds it safe, forever lifted up and anchored sure. Its perfect purity does not depend on whether it is seen on earth or not. The sky embraces it, and softly holds it in its perfect place, which is as far from earth as earth from Heaven. It is not the distance nor the time which keeps this star invisible to earth. But those who seek for idols cannot know this star is there."
"Like you, the Holy Spirit did NOT make truth. Like God, He KNOWS it to be true. He brings the LIGHT of truth into the darkness, and LETS it shine on you. And as it shines, YOUR BROTHERS see it, and, realizing that this light is NOT what you have made, they see in you MORE than YOU see. They will be happy learners of the lesson which this light brings to them, because it teaches them release from nothing, and from all the works of nothing. The heavy chains which SEEM to bind them unto despair, they do NOT see as nothing, until YOU bring the light TO them. And THEN they see the chains have disappeared, and so they MUST have been nothing."
"Behold your brothers in their freedom, and learn of them how to be FREE of darkness. The light in you will waken them, and they will not leave YOU asleep."
"The light is in them now. Enlightenment is but a recognition, not a change at all. Light is not of the world, yet you who bear the light in you are alien here as well. The light came with you from your native home, and stayed with you because it is your own. It is the only thing you bring with you from Him Who is your Source. It shines in you because it lights your home, and leads you back to where it came from and you are at home. This light can not be lost."
"Everyone seen WITHOUT the past thus brings you nearer to the end of time, by bringing healed and healing sight into the darkness, and ENABLING THE WORLD TO SEE. For light must come into the darkened world, to make Christ's vision possible even here. Help Him to give His gift of light to all who think they wander in the darkness, and let Him gather them into His quiet sight that makes them one."
"The shining in your mind reminds the world of what it has forgotten, and the world restores the memory to you as well. From you salvation radiates with gifts beyond all measure, given and returned. To you, the giver of the gift, does God Himself give thanks. And in His blessing does the light in you shine brighter, adding to the gifts you have to offer to the world."
"The stars will disappear in light, and the sun, which opened up the world to beauty, will vanish."
"What was a place of death has now become a living temple in a world of light."
"And now God's knowledge, changeless, certain, pure and wholly understandable, enters its kingdom. Gone is perception, false and true alike. Gone is forgiveness, for its task is done. And gone are bodies in the blazing light upon the altar to the Son of God. God knows it is His Own, as it is his. And here They join, for here the face of Christ has shone away time's final instant, and now is the last perception of the world without a purpose and without a cause. For where God's memory has come at last there is no journey, no belief in sin, no walls, no bodies, and the grim appeal of guilt and death is there snuffed out forever."
"The miracle is the act of a Son of God who has laid aside all false gods, and who calls on his brothers to do likewise. It is an act of faith, because it is the recognition that his brother CAN do it. It is a call to the Holy Spirit in his mind, a call to Him which is strengthened by this joining. Because the miracle-worker has heard Him, he strengthens His Voice in a sick brother by weakening his belief in sickness, which he does NOT share. The power of one mind CAN shine into another, because all the lamps of God were lit by the same spark. It is everywhere, and it is eternal.
In many, only the spark remains, for the great rays are obscured. But God has kept the spark alive, so the rays can never be completely forgotten. If you but see the little spark, you will learn of the greater light, for the rays are there unseen. Perceiving the spark will heal, but knowing the Light will create. Yet in the returning, the little light must be acknowledged first, for the separation was a descent from magnitude to littleness. But the spark is still as pure as the Great Light, because it is the remaining call of Creation. Put all your faith in it, and God Himself will answer you."
"Not one light in Heaven but goes with you. Not one ray that shines forever in the Mind of God but shines on you. Heaven is JOINED with you in your advance to Heaven. When such great light has joined with you, to give the little spark of your desire the power of God Himself, can YOU remain in darkness? You are coming home together, after a long and meaningless journey which you undertook apart, and which led nowhere. You have FOUND each other, and will light each other's way. And from this light will the great rays extend back into darkness and forward unto God. To shine away the past, and so make room for His Eternal Presence, in which everything is radiant in the light."
The ego is a devious, cunning, manipulative, deceptive monster, acting in deep unconsciousness, unaware of truth, unaware of the present, threatened by everything, threatening to everything, vicious and vile, mean and hateful, deeply suspicious, riddled with terror, certain of the death of itself and everyone else, deeply sick, distorted and distorting, murderous, vengeful and spiteful, dark and twisted, powerless, victimized and a victimizer, deeply sorrowful, alone, separate, lost, confused, uncertain of anything, knowing nothing, and thoroughly deluded.
This 'mind', when present in another person, will attempt to 'tempt' you to agree with it. Particularly if the 'pain body' of another person has activated and is taking over their consciousness, or rather, rendering the person unconscious and unaware of who they are or what the truth is. The ego will distort everything and yet is seemingly extremely cunning and clever at knowing when to strike, how to do so, and how to get what it wants. It can be seemingly formidable and a vicious enemy.
It wants to 'tempt' you to believe what it believes, by attempting to pull you into a drama, to lower your awareness, to distract you from truth, to mislead you, to push your buttons, to trigger off your unhealed upsets which may even entail triggering things that are deeply buried in yourself of which you are also mostly unconscious, just so that it can get you to react negatively and to enter into a state of separation. Once accomplished the ego is then 'feeding off of you' by attempting to take power from you, to possess you with its 'evil' intentions, to convert you to its thought system, to get you to be persuaded that its version of truth is the real truth, and to essentially corrupt you and diminish your light.
It is therefore a significant, deep challenge, to be around someone who is strongly in this kind of mindset, or who is having a pain-body attack, or who has a lot of negative emotion that is unhealed, or who has identified strongly with their ego self. Everything the ego does through another person or in them attempts to 'attract' you out of your peace and out of your mind, to 'tempt' you to believe things which are not true, and to get you to basically side with it so that you are resonating with it. Even as you begin to resonate with it, it is aligning with you and merging with you and thereby accessing you and absorbing you into it like a sponge. It is magnetic in its appeal that death is real and that you should be at war, in conflict with the other person, resisting of them, hating of them, rejecting of them, judging of them, reacting to their lies, or being drawn to basically lose your cool over the way the ego is behaving.
This is especially hard to deal with when you are attached to the person and depend on them, or when you rely on them being sane and sensible, or when you have expectations that the person should be a certain way in order to please your own unconscious bullshit, or that you have 'special bargains' with them in your 'special relationship' that you are still trying to fulfill but which are being ripped apart by the ego's refusal to honor the 'facade' or 'persona' that covers up its darkness (the shadow). When the gloves are off, all hell seems to break loose and at this time it can be extremely difficult to remain unaffected.
It is, however, a tremendous opportunity for learning and growth. Like it or not you will be driven to have to confront the things in yourself that cause you to become deceived by the ego in the other person, including having to examine and let go of attachments, having to look at and release and let go of special relationships and artificial ways of relating, to question why you have reactions or are deeply triggered by certain behaviors, to seek out God even more fervently in order to stay present in the truth, to come to realize that unconditional love is called for at all times because nothing else works, to be confronted with the ways in which your own ego is powerless to solve problems and how you yourself cannot fix anything, to question the motivation for fixing and saving, to be confronted with why it is that you fall for temptations or buy into the drama which is being put there as a deliberate provocation, to recognize where you are coming from your head and not your heart, to find levels of surrender and letting go that you never thought was possible, and to propel you into a greater awareness of God and yourself.
See, the bullshit drives you to awaken, when you allow it to, and when you use it to do so, by deciding that you will learn the lesson that it presents and that you will use it for the purpose of becoming even more honest. As such then it is not a curse but a blessing. And what may at first seem to be a horrendous terrifying unwanted attack may turn into a reason for salvation and a doorway to awakening. It is a catalyst (thank you for that word Holy Spirit). A catalyst for awakening, by getting you to be heavily triggered and to have to look at all the reasons why you are reacting so that you can heal and take responsibility for yourself.
All the ways you fail will be highlighted intensely because the ego in the other person will be very suspicious and rejective and quick to point out your faults and failures. It will not tolerate even tiny suggestions that you are innocent and will insinuate and accuse you of a great many things, some of which you are in fact doing that you do not want to admit to, and some things which you are in fact not doing which still cause you to react in some way.
The ego is like a highly highly untrusting scared sensitive little mouse that has absolutely no trust and no allegiance and no willingness to live or to see anything other than your sins. And because it powerfully highlights your sins, this presents a wonderful opportunity for you to confront false beliefs in yourself and to seek healing for your own sins. It is intense and painful and unpleasant, perhaps, but at the same time, you could think of it as a service, helping you to awaken by being as provocative and triggering of and pointing out all the ways you are being even slightly unloving, so that you will be forced to have to 'cunjour' up other-worldly amounts of love and forgiveness and unconditionality.
Ultimately it is for your good, even though being faced with the profound unconsciousness of ego and its pain can be terrifying and disempowering. For that you can be thankful, if you can finally let go enough to learn that the other person, who seems to have this evil ego inside them, is in fact NOT that ego, and that everything they believe is true about themselves and you is FALSE. They then become your savior, or at least, they provide the 'material' which you can USE to learn to recognize what is true and what is false. They can provide the catalyst for awakening and give motivation to your heart. And you can learn to forgive them, and overlook them, and see instead the light in them, and dismiss and filter out all of the ego's noise and screeches of suffering, which can be very difficult.
In this way and this way alone you could say that the ego is there to wake you up, or at least to provide the 'curriculum' and learning materials and role-play that may be necessary for you to be forced to take a really hard, deep look at yourself and what you believe. And it may be that the ONLY thing that seems to possibly 'work' with an ego-driven person is to COMPLETELY ignore what their ego is asserting, to learn to RECOGNIZE the sometimes subtle deviousness of the ego so that you can stop listening to it, and so that you can become aware that unconditional love is the ONLY TRULY HELPFUL REMEDY that you can offer.
In a way, the vicious 'evil' ego in another person is like a 'test' or exam, a very hard one, in which even slight unholiness in yourself will be pointed out in a big way and used against you. In fact, all of the ways in which you are yourself unconscious or unholy will become your own undoing, as you fall into a cascade of reactions and ego drama, trying desperately to 'fight off' the attacks that you believe are coming from the other person, but which in fact are your OWN self-attacks that you are now projecting onto them. The person in 'pain' is now like a final examiner, determining whether you are still easily fooled, whether you fall for ego lies, whether you still believe dark things about yourself, whether you still use ego yourself, and therefore whether you are truly 'clean' of ego to be in any kind of position to judge the other person. In this way, the ego becomes your motivation for admitting to and healing yourself, rising out of your own ego attitudes, removing your own darkness from your own mind, and stepping into light and power at an entirely higher level of functioning.
There is a way out of hell, but we have lessons to learn and a curriculum to undertake and things that we need to let go of and stop doing and there are also things we have yet to 'access' and become empowered by that we have yet to develop trust in. It's a journey - a journey without distance, and we are guaranteed to find our way home to love. Only in the context that the ego is helping you to awaken, to recognize how the ego is completely false, how it is INSANE, and ultimately does not exist, is the ONLY way it in which it is ever by any stretch of the imagination 'your friend'. Only be using it as a MIRROR or 'tester' to weed out the unconscious darkness within yourself, and to then correct it with Holy Spirit's truth, can you then be 'using' the ego for awakening. Coexisting with it is not the goal, or possible. Freedom from the ego is the goal and it is perfectly attainable. In a way, you 'need' the ego to help you awaken, but you awaken FROM it's and in spite of it.
And then you return to who you really are: invulnerable, unassailable, immortal, unconditional, innocent and holy.