"You HAVE carried the ego's reasoning to its logical conclusion, which is TOTAL CONFUSION ABOUT EVERYTHING."

When we believed in separation from God, we entered into a very confused and backwards way of thinking. We shut out reality. We denied truth. We split and narrowed our minds and drove ourselves insane.

"Into eternity, where all is one, there crept a tiny, mad idea, at which the Son of God remembered not to laugh. In his forgetting did the thought become a serious idea, and possible of both accomplishment and real effects."

"This IS an insane world, and do not underestimate the actual extent of its insanity."

"The world you see is the delusional system of those made mad by guilt."

We swapped the meaning of everything. What was true became false. What was false became true. Innocence was considered a sin. Sin was considered innocence. God was regarded as an evil dictator. Ego was regarded as your saviour. Death was believed to be life, and sickness was believed to save you from God. Darkness was light and punishment was atonement.

You no longer recognize what anything actually is. When you look upon things you do not see what they are, you see what you made of them. You see the twisted meanings and deceptions that you made of them. You don't believe that God is love. And you think death is your friend. You do not even recognize your own self.

"There is no statement that the world is more afraid to hear than this: I do not know the thing I am, and THEREFORE do not know what I am doing, where I am, or how to look upon the world and on myself."

"Nothing the world believes is true. It is a place whose purpose is to be a home where those who claim they do not know themselves can come to question what it is they are."

So now we have a world filled with crazy people. People who do not know which way is up. People whose priorities are all over the place purely because they think they've made a really great decision, when in fact they have poor judgement.

If your whole belief about what something is, is wrong, it changes how it looks to you and what it means to you. If it's something which in truth would hurt you, and you see it as helpful, you might choose it on purpose believing it will help you.

This is the case with sickness. "Sickness is a defense against the truth" tells you that you mis-perceive God. You think God or Truth is a threat to you, an enemy. You see attack and vengeance and danger in him. Having hallucinated these lies, you then react to them. And you reason, if God is trying to destroy me, I need to get away from God.

Then you will try to create a distance between you and God. And this is a problem because God is, in the big picture truth, life and wholeness and health and happiness. So you resist God, thinking God is your enemy, and by doing so choose to go away from these things. So you head towards sickness and death and limitation and weakness, all under the belief that you are saving your life from a real threat.

Then you end up suffering and you hate it and you think you didn't choose it. You don't want it because who could want it really, but you did want it because you chose it. And you chose it because you made a wrong decision.

"I must have made a wrong decision because I'm not at peace."

The decision was based on you thinking that you knew what everything is, when you didn't, and were misinformed and deceived. So you deceived yourself and lied to yourself and then followed that lie as guidance and ended up hurting yourself. But you didn't think it was going to hurt, you thought it was helpful.

So literally the people in the world believe that suffering is salvation. Punishment is seen as justified and right and a form of healing and education. More suffering for the guilty is seen as atonement. And people literally choose to die, in an attempt to claim their innocence. If someone else is to blame, you get to be exonerated, and you think this will save your life, but you die instead.

"Death seems an easy price, if they can say, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I die."

It's all to do with having a faulty guidance system. A screwed up navigation. The map is all wrong. The signposts are all backwards. You think you're going towards stuff which is truly good by choosing things which are definitely not. And all because you do not know what the fuck you are doing.

You do not know who you are, what you are, where you came from, how you got here, why you are here, what you are doing, why you are doing it. You even doubt whether you were even ever really created and suspect that you are an illusion that doesn't even exist.

"The dispute over authorship has left such uncertainty in the minds of man that some people have gone so far as to doubt whether they were ever created at all."

So this is the problem we all have. We do not correctly recognize what anything actually is. And so we keep being in a state of self-deception. And then we make choices based on this deception, which turn out to move us towards "what we want", just as all choices do, except the stuff we've chosen is not in our best interests. But we thought it was.

So we keep hurting ourselves. We know not what we do. We are lost. We are insane. We need to be straightened out. We need help from outside the insanity (Holy Spirit etc). We need to be corrected. We need to be willing to be mistaken. We need to examine the beliefs and meanings we've given to everything and look for a better way.

"Do not, then, think that following the Holy Spirit's guidance is necessary merely because of your own inadequacies. It is the way out of hell for you."

Every strategy. Every form of problem solving. Every way of relating. Everything you think you'll gain or lose. Every scenario. It all has to be brought into question and re-evaluated by the One who knows. Your mind needs to be corrected and trained to line up with what is ACTUALLY TRUE, and what you can actually have, and want, and what is fully in accord with God's will.

"ALL real pleasure comes from doing God's will. Whenever it is NOT done an experience of lack results. This is because NOT doing the will of God IS a lack of self."

Recognition is the key. Properly discerning what something is or isn't. Being not deceived by anything. Correct clear accurate perception. Proper categorization of things. Is something true on God's terms, or is it false? Can it be real in God, or is it unreal? It is really what it appears to be, or is it something else? Are you mistaken? If you are not enlightened, you are mistaken.

"Enlightenment is but a recognition, not a change at all."

If you could fully recognize what everything actually is, to see it clearly, without distortions of reality, without hallucinations, without fake meanings and artificial values, without wishful thinking or delusion, without denial and without attack or resistance, you would be enlightened.

"It takes great learning both to realize and to accept the fact that the world has nothing to give."

When everything false is finally seen for what it is, recognized to be unreal and nothing, with no value and no further purpose, it will disappear.

"Illusion recognized must disappear. Accept not suffering, and you remove the thought of suffering. Your blessing lies on everyone who suffers when you choose to see all suffering as what it is."

"The body disappears, and no longer hides what lies beyond. It merely ceases to interfere with vision. To roll the stone away is to see beyond the tomb, beyond death, and to understand the body's nothingness. What is understood as nothing must disappear."

"What if you recognized this world is a hallucination? What if you REALLY understood you made it up? What if you realized that those who SEEM to walk about in it, to sin and die, attack and murder and destroy themselves, are WHOLLY unreal? Could you have FAITH in what you see, if you ACCEPTED this? AND WOULD YOU SEE IT? Hallucinations disappear when they are RECOGNIZED for what they are."

"Healing, then, is a way of APPROACHING knowledge by THINKING in accordance with the laws of God and RECOGNIZING THEIR UNIVERSALITY. WITHOUT this recognition, you have made the laws themselves meaningless TO you."

"Yet what makes them God's teachers is their recognition of the proper purpose of the body."

"In fact, the recognition that you do not understand is a prerequisite for undoing your false ideas."

"The ego will NEVER let you perceive this, for this recognition WILL make it homeless. For, when this recognition dawns clearly, you will NOT be deceived by ANY form the ego takes, to protect itself FROM your sight."

"Today we would experience ourselves at one with Him, so that the world may share our recognition of reality."

"He overlooks the mind and body, seeing only the Face of Christ shining in front of him, correcting all mistakes and healing all perception. Healing is the result of the recognition, by God's teacher, of Who it is that is in need of healing. This recognition has no special reference. It is true of all things that God created. In it are all illusions healed."

"Let us try to recognize this today, and experience the peace this recognition brings."

"The light is come today to bless the world, for you have recognized the Son of God, and in your recognition is the world's."

"That is why the recognition of your OWN invulnerability is so important in the restoration of your sanity."

"The recognition of God is the recognition of yourself."

"For recognition comes of vision and SUSPENDED judgment."

"The full awareness of the Atonement, then, is the recognition that the separation NEVER OCCURRED."

"The aim of our curriculum, unlike the goal of the world's learning, is the recognition that judgment in the usual sense is impossible."

"Your inheritance awaits only the recognition that you have BEEN redeemed."

"Think of the freedom in the recognition that you are not bound by all the strange and twisted laws which you have set up to save you."

"Your function here is only to decide AGAINST deciding what you want, in recognition that YOU DO NOT KNOW. How, then, CAN you decide what you should do? Leave ALL decisions to the One Who speaks for God, and for your function as He KNOWS it."

"The real world is all that the Holy Spirit has saved for you, out of what you have made, and to perceive only this is salvation, because it is the recognition that reality is ONLY WHAT IS TRUE."

"Eventually, everybody begins to recognize, however dimly, that there MUST be a better way. As this recognition is more firmly established, it becomes a perceptual turning-point."

"The recognition of the real creative power in yourself AND others brings release because it brings peace."

"Truth must be all-inclusive if it be the truth at all. Accept no opposite and no exceptions, for to do so is to contradict the truth entirely. Salvation is the recognition that the truth is true and nothing else is true."

"Miracles are merely the sign of your willingness to follow HIS plan of Salvation, in recognition of the FACT that you do NOT know what it is." "Awaking unto Christ is following the laws of love OF YOUR FREE WILL, and out of quiet recognition of the truth in them."

"Defenselessness is strength. It testifies to recognition of the Christ in you."

We can reduce a lot of what the Course teaches seemingly down to simple statements such as "god is". But then when you try to extrapolate that back out to properly describe what we're experiencing, it doesn't work. Information has been lost. "God is oneness" or "there is no separation" is WAAAY too vague as a starting point.

If "God is", then when we try to explain what's happening in this world, or why I was woken up this morning at 7:30 by an alarm clock made of plastic and metal with electricity running through it, the "God is" teaching simply does not cut it. If we rely just on that, it's going to mean, God is an alarm clock.

All manner of false conclusions come from OVER SIMPLIFYING the metaphysics. This simplification is too basic to BASE an entire thought system on, or to structure an entire set of metaphysics on. It's all very well going one direction to make things more simple, but when we then turn around and use that simplified version to draw conclusions, it's just too basic. You won't end up with the same conclusions.

"God is" is an extremely high-level aspect of the truth, and conclusions drawn from these super-simplified ideas can be very much in error. God is not the one dreaming, and God did not create death or this world, which would be natural conclusions drawn from this. It's not accurate enough.

This is also why ideas of oneness and nonduality are severely prone to all kinds of false conclusions which STEM FROM the overly basic nature of these concepts. They simply do not properly or accurately describe God's nature and lead to so many "implications" that are false, that basing all kinds of conclusions on "there is only God" or "there is no self" or "there is one self" etc simply produces a huge amount of error.

The truth is supposed to be simple. But in terms of conceptualizing it, it's not simple, and without enough accuracy in the definition or what reality is or is not like, we just are going to find ourselves confused and mistaken. This is partly why the Course itself is SO HUGE and detailed, because there are so many nuances that CANNOT Be properly communicated using such simple terms. It's unfortunate but concepts, being of the ego, can become much more complex the closer you get to the truth, if you want them to be accurate. "God is" is nice, but it's too basic.

This overly basic reduction of the Course and the false conclusions which come from it, has unfortunately HAPPENED, and a huge percentage of the ACIM community has been somewhat misled into false teachings and false conclusions based on massively over-simplified concepts. There are countless statements in Jesus's words to demonstrate this.

As a result, we now have concepts of non-duality and having no self and the idea that the sonship is of the ego and that there are no souls and that there is only one person responsible for the dream and that you are responsible for other people's choices and so on, which are all false, which result from STARTING AT a way too basic concept or starting point.

Great teachers and poor teachers alike have fallen into this trap in a big way. There is huge portions of Jesus's teachings which have been misrepresented. Particularly in the areas of identity/responsibility, the performing of miracles, and overcoming death. The "natural conclusions" drawn from faulty logic has basically glossed over significant major teachings, and has turned A Course in Miracles into a sanitary and watered-down way to fix yourself and get out of here.

This is a Course in performing miracles, becoming very powerfully minded, reversing literal death, and being one of many sons of God who temporarily demonstrates perfect health in the dream while teaching and helping all brothers to wake up through miraculous demonstration.

This message has been largely destroyed by well-meaning but misguided teachings and poor reasoning. We need to almost start over with a much more accurate and all-encompassing view of the Course which does not omit things Jesus said, does not see contradictions where there are none, does not turn a blind eye to things that don't seem to make sense, and does not filter OUT the very heart and soul of the Course itself.

Let's redefine forgiveness, to be less about me fixing up what I'm projecting or trying to fix my own suffering, and more to do with whether I am GIVING love or not. Let's think of it not JUST as a going-within, a taking back of projections, a taking of responsibility, and a claiming of atonement for ourselves, and recognize it ALSO entails a GIVING outward, an expression of love, a healing force, and a resurrection of OTHERS.

Therefore it is actually a "forgiveness process" to GIVE LIFE to others, to not only see them correctly, but to RESTORE them to wholeness by giving them love. By working a miracle for them and providing a SERVICE. That is forgiveness, not just sitting on a fence passively looking at someone with a smile, or trying to solely find peace for yourself. That is selfish.

Atonement is about sharing, in which giving and receiving are one, and you can't have one without the other. To receive but not give is not atonement. To bring darkness to the light but not bring light to the darkness is not atonement. You cannot exclusively receive atonement UNLESS you are willing to GIVE it. It HAS to be given otherwise you cannot receive it.

"The Atonement is a lesson in sharing, which is given you because YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW TO DO IT."

To forgive is to HEAL, both yourself AND the other. Both the giver AND the receiver benefit. It is not about you exclusively doing this for yourself, it is much more to do with SHARING and including. Restoring your brother to health SO THAT you can also be restored to health. Giving love SO THAT you can receive love. You cannot have anything unless you give it. And the resurrection of your brother is YOUR salvation.

Forgiveness is not about being selfish, or trying only to resolve your own issues, or attempting to find peace just for yourself. You cannot have peace in isolation. You cannot be happy while you ee yourself as separate from others.

You cannot experience love if the love is not going OUT. One part of our work is to uncover our blocks to the light within, SO THAT the light can SHINE outward and be given to others. You are not a lightbulb in a box, you are meant to be seen and received. You are a GIFT to others, and your healing is one with theirs. You are a gift to your brother that God has given to be shared.

If you exclude your brother from the healing, if you do not give them love, if you do not see THEIR salvation as part of your own, then you are not being forgiving. Forgiveness is not one-sided or exclusive or about just you.

It's not a question of "how do I forgive", it's about "how do I forgive FOR US." It's about you giving to the whole sonship, and participating in the great crusade to resurrect EVERYONE. How can YOU find peace if others are not at peace? How can YOU be healed without the healing of your brothers?

"A miracle is a service. It is the maximal service that one soul can render another. It is a way of loving your neighbor as yourself. The doer recognizes his own and his neighbor's inestimable value simultaneously."

"Forgiveness is an earthly form of love which as it is in Heaven has no form. Yet what is needed here is given here as it is needed. In this form you can fulfill your function even here, although what love will mean to you when formlessness has been restored to you is greater still. Salvation of the world depends on you who can forgive. Such is your function here."

"Forgiveness is not real UNLESS it brings a healing to your brother AND yourself."

"So does your healing show your mind is healed, and has forgiven what he did NOT do. And so is HE convinced his innocence was never lost, and healed along with you."

"24 A miracle is a Universal Blessing from God through Me to all My Brothers. Explanation: You once said that souls cannot rest until everyone has found salvation. This happens to be true. It is the privilege of the forgiven to forgive. The Disciples were officially and specifically told to heal others, as Physicians of the Lord. They were also told to heal themselves, and were promised that I would never leave them or forsake them. Atonement is the natural profession of the Children of God, because they have professed Me."

In this world, everything which is held to be most true and cherished is actually the most false, fake thing imaginable.

It will be considered highly controversial and even insensitive and deranged to suggest, for example, that every victim wants to suffer. That even victim is an attacker, attempting to prove that others are sinful and who are using suffering as a way to condemn everyone else.

It would also be considered controversial to say that everyone who is sick is actually attacking everyone else with sickness and is using it to prove that others are sinful. That every sickness is a lie, and every sickness is an attempt to hurt other people.

It will especially be considered controversial to say that death is always chosen, that people who die apparently through absolutely no choice of their own, really really really wanted to be dead, want to destroy everyone else, and want God to be dead as well. How about that?

How about the fact that every victim is a victimizer who attacks others with their mind, or that people who are suffering the most are the most attacking of others? Or that people who complain are professional attackers? Or that people in fear and victimhood are the most toxic?

Those who are in the illusory position of being the LEAST likely to be thought of as vicious or a victimizer or the cause of anything bad whatsoever, are those who actually are the MOST murderous and the most "evil".

How about innocent babies who are victimized, surely they didn't come here to deny their unconscious guilt and portray themselves as completely innocent in order for nobody to ever suspect they are the one who attacked God?

The world would find these truths to be absolutely outrageous, even offensive, and downright upsetting to the average ego mind. People will react with ego defensiveness and denial and even hatred. You can lose friends and family over it.

We live in a world of tremendous illusion, a world filled with horrifying lies and PROFOUND pretense that those to whom bad things happen are the least likely to be the cause of those things happening. It is absolutely backwards to the truth of God. This is why the truth is so incredibly radical and often so difficult to accept.

What about people who are afraid, who are actually making an attempt to attack others and find them to be the cause of fear, so that they can have a great opportunity to justify anger and retaliation and murder?

What about people who seem to march for freedom and carry banners and go up again inhumane treatment and animal rights, who make suffering real and want to keep it in order to accuse others of being wrong, so that they will be assuaged of their hidden crime of killing God?

Or those who implement security measures in order to "protect freedom", while simultaneously implementing imprisonment on a a mass scale? Or people who create "antivirus" software who actively focus on and amplify the need to become a better hacker thus producing even more vicious viruses? Or how about all the so-called "treatments" that are applied through medicine and pharmacies which allegedly help but end up with worse side effects and increase the overall death rate because they don't really work?

Every thought and belief and value that your ego holds as truth and important is going to be completely overturned by the Real Truth of God, which is going to rub this world completely the wrong way. It goes entirely against the grain. It is not welcome here. And as you side with it, you may not be welcome here either.

Do you think Jesus had a lot of support? He really did not. People weren't ready or willing, not even most of the disciples. Their egos did not and could not accept the truth.

You might find yourself also at odds with what other people interpret the truth to be, and will constantly have to be pulling back from your ego allegiances in order to be true to yourself and true to the consistency of the Truth that is emerging in your mind. Eventually you may seem to stand alone against the entire world, with few willing to listen to anything you say. You are not likely to be popular with the ego mind's of this world.

But would you rather be ego, or be happy?

"Real choice is no illusion. But the world has none to offer."

Whenever you are presented with a choice in this world, you'll find it always entails an impossible situation. It's not "you" that is making choices difficult, it is the nature of the world.

"It is the world you see that is impossible."

Option A will offer something which seems to be mostly what you want, but it will lack something.

Option B may have what the other lacks, and offer something it doesn't have.

But in all cases, you will never find two choices which offer exactly everything. Or even one.

This fundamentally makes for an impossible situation, in which you are torn. You cannot feel a sense of total certainty regardless of which one you choose.

If you choose A, you know you'll be missing out on something. If you choose B, you know you'll be missing out on something.

The thing is, with our egos, we actually believe that there is a "perfect choice" in this world. That its possible to find the exact perfect something, be it an item you're buying, or a person to relate with, or a place to hang out, or a tv show to watch, or whatever.

But there is nothing perfect in this world. This world is based on separation, which requires that nothing be whole, nothing be perfect, and everything be only partially anything.

Often then you'll find that if you are seeking the perfect choice, you will feel flrustrated, uncertain, doubtful, mis-trusting, not sure whether to go with this or that.

Option A seems to tantilize you with its offferings, but you know it's flawed. And option B seems to offer something of its own. Even if you have both, they still would lack something. But you can't decide, because neither of them seems to "do it all".

Sometimes, depending on if you lower your standards, or are open to compromise, or don't mind some shortcomings, or can live with the absence of certain features etc, you'll allow yourself to use this adjustment of attitude as a way to "settle" for one of the options. And you might talk yourself into that being satisfactory. Even though you know deep down it is less than ideal.

This in a way seems to give you a sense of less stress or more sanity, but it's only an illusion. Settling for the fact that the situation is an impossible choice, and then trying to justify why its okay that it's impossible, and settling for a compromise, is not really attaining perfection. So you make do.

And so once again, the world comes up short, and it offers you less than what you want, and it can never please you fully, never totally satisfy you, and is always disappointing.

"All its roads but lead to disappointment, nothingness and death. There IS no choice in its alternatives."

Looking at this clearly, you can recognize that any choice to be made between illusions, will always be fundamentally impossible, incomplete and less than ideal. If you seek for the ideal you will be disappointed and lost and frustrated and disillusioned.

If you can accept that the world is fundamentally flawed and you cannot have everything here, accepting the fact that every option is less than whole, less than total life, and thus an idea of death, maybe you can choose on a more practical basis and just go with the devil you know, or the lesser of two evils.

There is no perfect choice in the world because the world was made in an effort to reject perfection and to offer no real choice. It is an assertion that you have no choice, that death is inevitable, and there is no alternative.

But there is a real choice. There is a perfect choice. That is, to choose NOT this world, and to instead choose the TRUE perfection of the Kingdom. God's world is the only world that offers you a total lack of compromise, total satisfaction, complete wholeness and perfect completion. There is no lack or frustration or impossibility or pointlessness in its offering.

To choose God again is to make a choice FOR perfection, which is a perfect choice. And it is the only choice that is perfect, when made. All other choosing is imperfect and unholy. And only a choice for holiness can bring you what you want.

"This world holds nothing that I want."

"It takes great learning to both recognize and accept that this world has nothing to give."

You are either innocent or guilty. These are the only options. If sin is real, you are guilty, and guilt is real. If sin is not real, you are innocent, and guilt is not real. You can also say that if you are guilty, you must be sinful. And if you are not guilty, you cannot have sinned.

When sin is recognized as an illusion or dream, without giving it any reality or truth, it is nothing. When you start to give it reality and truth it begins to seem like a cause with power, leading to consequences or effects. The effect of sin is guilt. If you did in truth sin, then you should indeed be guilty of having done so. It is simply cause and effect.

But if there is no guilt, there cannot have been sin, and you are in a state of forgiveness. Forgiveness therefore is the recognition that there is no sin, which produces the effect of guilt's absence. Either way, when guilt is absent, sin is cancelled.

If the belief in sin being real is mental illness ie insanity, since "sin is insanity", and given that "the ego" is another name for this insane thought system, then depriving sin of its effects undoes the ego. The insanity goes away when there is no guilt there. Sin without its effects has no causal power or reality or truth, and so insanity is gone.

If you refuse to go into guilt, you are denying that sin is real. If you deprive sin of its consequences, you are working a miracle. A miracle undoes the seeming consequences of sin. Sin, if it were real, is the idea of irreversible permanent truth, mixed with something impossible. Any consequence that comes from sin can be undone by recognizing that sin has no validity.

"Thus does the miracle undo all things the world attests can never BE undone. And hopelessness and death MUST disappear before the ancient clarion call of life. This call has power FAR beyond the weak and miserable cry of death and guilt."

If sin is merely a mistaken idea that's false, and if you give it no truth or reality, then nothing can come from it. Guilt cannot arise, ego cannot manifest, and sickness and suffering cannot happen. Without the presence of the guilt, derived from the premise of real sin, there cannot be any ego or any suffering. In effect, the ego IS the guilt, and the more you reinforce and increase guilt the more you are buying into the insanity.

Without guilt you must be sane. To be without guilt IS sanity because it deprives sin of any reality. To be without sin is forgiveness. You are either guilty or guiltless, unforgiven or forgiven.

"The guiltless mind cannot suffer. Being sane, it heals the body."

"Release from guilt is the ego's whole undoing."

"The holy spirit knows that all salvation is the escape from guilt."

"Without guilt the ego HAS no life, and God's Son IS without guilt."

"WITHOUT guilt, attack is impossible."

"Without guilt there is no scarcity."

"When you have accepted the Atonement for yourselves, you will realize that THERE IS NO GUILT IN GOD'S SON."

"Sickness where guilt is absent cannot come, for it is but another form of guilt. Atonement does not heal the sick, for that is not a cure. It takes away the guilt that makes the sickness possible. And that is cure indeed."

"Where can guilt be, when the belief in sin is gone? And where is death, when its great advocate is heard no more?" "As long as you believe the Son of God is guilty, you will walk along this carpet, believing that it leads to death." "For sickness is the witness to his guilt, and death would prove his errors MUST be sins."

"From the ego came sin and guilt and death, in OPPOSITION to life and innocence, and to the Will of God Himself." "Wish not to make yourself a living symbol of his guilt, for you will NOT escape the death you make for him, and in HIS innocence you find your own."

"The light of guiltlessness shines guilt away because, when they are BROUGHT TOGETHER, the truth of one MUST make the falsity of its OPPOSITE perfectly clear."

"The veil across the Face of Christ, the fear of God and of salvation, and the love of guilt and death, - they all are different names for just ONE error; that there is a space between you and your brother, kept apart by an illusion of yourself which holds him off from you, and you away from him."

When you hold a grievance, where you demand that someone else has to change because they are unacceptable to you, you are using the ego's version of forgiveness.

If you claim they are wrong or bad or evil or sinful or guilty in any way, you are saying you need them to change. They should not be the way they are. They are wrong and bad and evil to be the way they are. They should not be this way.

This means really that you want THEM to change so that YOU do not have to change. And it also means that you in fact want to be AFFECTED by them, as a victim, but you want them to affect you in a way that matches your desires.

So if you were to get a person to change and be the way "you want them to be", then supposedly they'd now treat you the way you want them to, and give you what you want. Maybe they'd now "make you happy". But this is still a form of victimhood.

Being caused to be happy by something outside yourself is just as ego as being cauesd to be unhappy by something outside yourself. They are both forms of being at the effect of the world. And when you depend on the world being nice to you, giving you what you want, meeting your standards, or forcing you into preferable states, you're forgiving to destroy.

By demanding that someone change, or be not like they are, which is your projected judgement of them in the first place, you are destroying them with your judgement of them. You evaluate first that they are evil and then ask THEM to be the one to stop being evil. This is not only self destructive, it's an attempt to destroy the world.

It's like accusing someone of being a bad person, even when they're not, and trying to put that onto them, and then demanding that THEY change to get out of the prison that you've put them in, to make you happy. It's like asking someone to do your own dirty work.

So first you try to destroy them, then you demand they stop being the destroyed person, to appease you and for your own gain. Like hurting someone then requiring that they get up and thank you for it. This is how the destroys in order to try to bring about a "forgiven" state where the sin seems to have been removed. In a sense you demand that they "resurrect" from being evil, for your benefit.

If someone undoes the sin you accuse them of, by changing, and complying with your wishes, then the ego now says well, you have indeed forgiven, and now that I see you are not being the evil I accused you of, my perception of you is not seeing evil in you. And that implies that I've done a forgiveness. If you stop being the evil sinner that I hate, then apparently I have forgiven you. But nothing has really changed in my mind, so there has been no real forgiveness at all.

It's like when someone does something you disapprove of, and then you say you are not going to forgive them until they change their ways. They have to repent. And when they change their ways and meet your conditions, you will say yes, very good, you did what I wanted and now I approve of you, and now you are my loyal servant. Then you are temporarily bestowed with an ego blessing of seeming mercy, while still enforcing that if you return to your wicked ways, you'll be punished just as much as before.

This in effect is therefore like some dictating tyrant who wants everything to be their way and wants everyone else to comply. To have power over everyone and control everything. To force the world to stop being the way it is, or the way you judge it to be. If those other motherfuckers would just stop being assholes everything would be great for you and life would be smooth. And so the ego seems for an illusion of peace in the midst of its warring ways.

"The ego's plan for salvation centers around holding grievances. It maintains that if someone else spoke or acted differently, if some external circumstance or event were changed, you would be saved. Thus the source of salvation is constantly perceived as outside yourself. Each grievance you hold is a declaration, and an assertion in which you believe, that says, "If this were different, I would be saved." The change of mind that is necessary for salvation is thus demanded of everyone and everything except yourself."

It's not just a matter of me taking back responsibility for everything in life, and then sitting there all by myself.

There is instead a shift away from ego-self and towards being aware of and TRUSTING in God.

It's not just a matter of realizing the cause of things is in my mind, not out there, although that's necessary.

What is cause? It's not just some idea or decision. GOD is cause.

It's also not just a matter of removing blocks to awareness of love. What happens when the blocks are removed? Love/God shows up. And that's no small matter.

I've relied on my intellect, on my ego's abilities, on my separate intelligence, on my self-taught learning. But this is all essentially because I am not depending on God.

Independent thinking... okay... highly overrated. It's actually a substitute for being connected to, trusting in, and having real faith in God.

I'm opening up to a willingness to surrender, and to actually believe and stay unwavering in, a knowing-based trust that God is taking care of things.

It's not God that wavers or fails, it's my selfish ego trying to do everything on its own.

I have to let go. I have to surrender. And I have to stop being the one who has all the truth all gathered up in my separate mind like a big database of information.

Truth as information is a substitute for truth as an experiential relationship with God. It is a substitute for being WITH God, intimately. For being AWARE of God's real presence and communicating with Him and being directed BY Him.

It really boils down to a simple either-or question. Either I trust in my own abilities, or I trust in God. Either I think that I have to control and enforce everything myself, or I let go of the reigns and let God.

And in that trust, in that surrender, it's not that God just sits there idle. To trust that he is taking care of things, that he can heal all situations, requires strong faith and belief and certainty and loyalty. And that also means, knowing that God actually IS taking care of things... even worldly things, even worldly problems.

This is the next stage in the development of trust. I have to learn to step aside and not only 'let God' but actually trust God, believe God, and put aside my own little fears and worries about how God won't help or isn't in charge or can't heal things or whatever.

It's about opening up to relying on God, knowing that God goes with me, allowing God, being intimate with God and allowing myself to be supported BY God. And this has everything to do with working miracles, which REQUIRES faith and firm belief and TRUST in God.

My lack of faith, is what it comes down to. As Jesus says in the course we have placed great faith in the ego, in our own selves, in intelligence and thinking and learning, that we have displaced our faith away from God.

I/we must learn that God really is on our side, really is our partner, that we really are taken care of by Him, that he really can and will do what He says he can and will do, and to trust Him to manage life for us.

It's not just that we are separate from God and have to live in separation and maybe get some input from God once in a while. That isn't the LIFE that we are meant to live. We are meant to team up with God and be loved and united with Him, and actually have Him IN us and working THROUGH us FOR us, without us having to carry the entire weight of the world by ourselves.

How can I trust God unless I am willing to let go of control of life and actually allow Him to do this? How can I trust unless I am 'hands off'?

God repeatedly says to me, "let me". And I did not really understand what this meant. I didn't know if it meant he would do something through me if I did something. I didn't know if it meant he was 'maybe' taking care of something, and then me having no faith in that entering into fear and believing that He wasn't doing anything.

If I don't have trust and faith that God can take care of things, I in effect block God's power and actually do fail to RECEIVE God's blessings.

Anyway.

Today I am grateful and thankful that God HAS delivered, God HAS provided, God IS taking care of situations, and I am not alone any more.

A Course in Miracles, the book, unfortunately does not contain everything there could ever be said on every subject.

It's important to recognize this. Since there is so much "truth" in the book, or conveyed through its words, many people come to believe that truth is ITS FORM. Ie the specific words it uses is the "entire truth".

This is especially because the course is trying to communicate to us "the whole truth", the exact perfect truth, and nothing but the truth. But if we start to think that the words used, the form of the book, and its limitations, constitutes what the whole truth is, we become obsessed over the specific words.

Then there are debates about what the words say with a quote-war erupting, competition between versions and so on. People will say "where did Jesus say that" or "where does the course say that".. and things will allegedly not be "proven" unless you can find specific words which "say it" in a specific form.

Words themselves are not meaning. They are symbols, carriers of meaning, and there are many ways to say the same thing. In the course Jesus does the best He can, but he's working with a language based on limitation. He can only put a certain amount of words into the book and only a certain amount is said on given subjects. But even moreso, the MEANING that he intended is sometimes lost or not seen at all if a person focuses solely on the form of the words.

Meaning is always deeper than the words. If you are a course student who is always trying to find out what the words explicitly say as in, the exact words used, as if this gives you the meaning of the course, then you will become limited right along with those limiting words.

There are parts of the Course which Jesus later "clarified" necessarily, such as in the clarification for terms. He even said some things later in the "notes to helen" about how He made his body disappear, which was not mentioned anywhere else in the course and those who have not read it would likely come to some other conclusions about how the dream is overcome.

Jesus did NOT speak at "great length" on every topic, and some topics he barely even touched on, giving us precious few words representing colossal subjects, such as the definition of very large terms like "world" and what exactly the real world is or is not, and what he exactly means by the world being "translated" into heaven, and so on. Or what he means by a "universe". There are many many areas of the course where we really could've used a Q&A session to really get into the details of these things and become much clearer about them. This lack of clarity results in a lot of debate and arguments and speculation.

It is not possible to make accurate conclusions based on this limited material at times. You can't just point to some quoted piece of text and say, that's what the course says, or means, or teaches. The meaning is beyond the words. And I've seen plenty of people putting their own meaning onto the verbatim quotes and claiming that this is what the quote "clearly says and means". .but it doesn't.

Don't be deceived that the FORM of the course holds all of the truth in it. It is just a set of symbols trying to point to an experience or meaning that runs deeper. Learning what the truth is and what the course really means or intends, requires you to generalize the learning. You have to take something Jesus said over here and something he said over there and make sense of how it fits together. And in that area, you will find a lot of people disagreeing.

At some point we are to leave the course behind and go to God with empty hands. That's because the course itself is a MEANS to get there, not the end. Don't put the course on a pedestal and worship its glorious words or the idol worship of anyone who wrote or edited it. That's not what it is FOR or about. Beware of the FORM.

"Nothing so blinding as sight of form."

What we really need to do is learn the core truth and how to apply it and work with it to produce miracles and healing and awakening. And to develop TRUST in Holy Spirit and Jesus as our teachers and to let go of the ego.