Since my wife "died" in January, my perspective on this world and the body, sickness and death has changed drastically.
My wife (her body) was afflicted with various disabilities and medical conditions for over 12 years. For the past 4 years she lived in a bed, and unable to walk. We're talking amputations and strokes/paralysis and heart conditions and sleep disorders and cancer and diabetes and kidney failure, brain damage and dementia, eye problems, breathing problems, digestive problems, multiple trips to the ICU, declared brain-dead one time and barely making it through a triple-heart-bypass another.
The horror show compelled me to want to perform miracles, to heal her body and undo her limitations. Like any person would, driven to alleviate suffering and to make things easier. Avoiding death became the whole focus. And obviously this revolved around my mistaken belief that she was at least in part a physical body. A body with seemingly "real" sicknesses and serious problems.
For years we had this dynamic of me trying to get her (body) back to health, to keep her (body) going, to keep her (body) alive, to resurrect her (body) and fix her (body) and undo everything that happened to her (body). But it all took a toll and over time her body's condition deteriorated. It just couldn't function enough anymore to keep her going. While I helped in some ways, I failed.
Just before she passed, I reached a point where I finally found a willingness to consider, maybe I should just stop trying to keep her (body) alive. Maybe I should just let her go and let her die. All the years of fighting against it, resisting it, avoiding both sicknesses and interventions, trying to prop her up and keep her ticking, it all just kind of came to a point of surrender. It was long and cruel and stressful and fear-inducing. She'd had enough long before, and so had I. Eventually it becomes so ridiculous you just can't keep going.
It was then within a week or two that her body was really giving out, and quickly led to a brush with death, and then a very rapid but mostly peaceful passing. All the time spent resisting death, trying to stop the body being sick, and trying to keep it going indefinitely, culminated in what seemed to be a total failure. A failure to raise the dead, a failure to be miraculous, a failure to stop death itself. But despite appearances, it turns out that wasn't a bad thing.
Actually death turned out to be liberating for both of us. It wasn't what I thought it would be like, and nothing like I feared. In fact, as she continued to live in spirit and communicate me on many occasions in many ways, it proved to me that she was far better off now. She was thrilled and excited and happy, peaceful and calm, liberated and empowered. After she went through a kind of rehabilitation period, she showed up even more, refined and purified and centered in her soul.
Meanwhile her body was on ice shoved in a cardboard box, awaiting cremation. As I looked upon it I could shift perceptions back and forth between believing it was her and that it was nothing to do with her. Clearly something had left it, regardless of how convincing it looked and seemed to have all her features intact. But it wasn't her.
I deliberately viewed the corpse a few times to make the most use of the opportunity to forgive and see it correctly. To distinguish that the body was not her, and to separate out her spirit from the form. So now I was presented with this intense contrast between - the body says she's dead, and the reality and experience of spirit/mind says she's totally alive. And they can't both be true.
It became apparent while communicating to her and thinking about the soul's journey, spanning lifetimes and many bodies, that it never really was 'the plan' in this life for her body to reach an resurrected state. We had this dream that we would ascend to heaven together, and that was a total flop - but partly because in the big picture plan of atonement she is due to wake up in another lifetime, and I'm due for some radical change.
And that was ok, because there was a bigger picture. The really big picture has souls using bodies across many lifetimes, and they are just as easily discarded when no longer functioning well as they are picked up in the first place. They are just tools, devices, vehicles, that we temporarily use for a purpose and then throw away as worthless.
The destruction of the idea of saving her body from death, the complete failure to cause her to avoid death, the surprising discovery that death was liberating and "not all bad", the experience of her continuing to live and interact, the expansive perspective of the soul and its use of bodies, and the way her passing into the light lifted me into the light also, has altered how I look at all this.
What has become super clear is that as soon as we identify with bodies, we immediately go into fear, and start feeling compelled to defend the body against its own nature - its ultimate purpose of dying. As a body we want the body to carry on forever. I wanted to be with my wife's body forever. Then the body snuffs it. Good luck with that, cus you're all gunna die, unless you stop being a body.
By believing a person is a body we develop an entire culture of body preservation, keeping people in their bodies as long as possible, freaking out when the body is attacked or sick, not allowing anyone to leave their bodies voluntarily, trying to stop the body being sick, and generally just resisting the body's death at all costs. It all adds up to a mindset of the fear of death and an attempt to protect and defend the body at all costs. Until that entire mindset goes crashing against the rocks and is smashed to smithereens.
That's what's happened for me. The whole mindset of "lets keep the body going forever" has been destroyed. All the cultural and social ways that we have concern for it, fear of dying happening, avoiding things, trying to create security and safety, freaking out when "someone dies", valuing the body, wanting it to live, even the idea of using miracles to rescue the body endlessly, all has been destroyed for me. And that's a good thing because it was all rooted in believing bodies are people, valuable objects, and something to keep.
I've shifted from a horizontal to a vertical perspective. I would even go so far now as to say "let it all die". Not just the bodies, but all the things of the world. It's dying anyway, and it's going to. All the resistance I had and the fear of it happening was pointless and worthless and ended in a total inability to stop it. It was actually good that I ended up at the end of this lesson surrendering and "letting death happen". Because funnily enough, that was a key to stopping preserving it through the wish to defend the body at all costs. I'm guided now to simply "let her be dead". Because in truth, she isn't.
Trying to prevent death induces it. And I also realized that trying to stop sickness is just making it real and fueling it. So you can imagine that being exposed to someone with many severe sicknesses for a long time has drilled this home for me. I had to get past her body, get past believing she was sick, get past trying to resist the sickness, and get past believing she could even die. And she's proven to me many times over now that she absolutely has not died.
That then becomes a strange irreconcilable contrast. On the one hand the body is sprinkled in the wind as ashes and is no more, seeming to suggest the person is totally destroyed, and yet there she is even more alive than ever, happier than ever, having a great time. When I told her it would be great to be able to see her walking again, and she showed me herself running through fields, she even said "I can fly!". So she's having a great time, and what appeared to be "death" on a physical level did nothing but leave her better off.
So now my whole perspective on bodies and the world and sickness and death is different. I've used her death against death. I see people believing they are bodies, when it's been shown to me that people are not bodies. I see people fearing the body's vulnerabilities, when it's been shown to me that this is because they think they are bodies. The whole culture of body preservation and trying to stop people being sick is a joke. And even in this world the idea of voluntarily going to heaven is illegal and taboo, forcing people to suffer horrible conditions until they "naturally" snuff it.
I know this sounds a bit potentially anti-miraculous but, the hard lesson has actually been to let someone die and to stop fighting it. It was actually less spiritual and much more psychologically unhealthy to believe someone was a body and to be constantly worried for their safety and fearing for their life. What dies is not even a real thing, its not the person, and they cannot die. What dies is a lie, and death is a lie, and the whole basis for avoiding it is a lie.
So now I am much more flippant. Not to say like, okay, go ahead and die on purpose just so you can realize that being in heaven is totally amazing. Because we are still using bodies to learn shit. But in the big picture souls don't give a shit about the body really, they just use them temporarily as learning devices. Then they throw them in the trash. In and of themselves they are worthless junk. They are nothing. They are not people and they are not life.
My view now is much more aligned with my wife's view, seeing from her perspective and from the vantage point of the bigger picture. Souls coming and going, taking on bodies and then discarding them. Not identifying with them. Not falling into the trap of believing they are people, or the nightmare of fear that comes from that. My fear of death has melted because a) dying and going to heaven is wonderful and b) I can't die. Just as my wife can't die.
I've lifted up out of the body-identified body-worshipping death-avoiding culture of the world. Avoidance of death is definitely the same thing as promoting it. Nothing real can be threatened. The whole problem of the world is people believing they are a body and not knowing they are spirit, which results in a nightmare of danger and threat and attack and vulnerability. Then everyone starts barricading themselves in trying to avoid the bad stuff happening, and the sicknesses set in and the people want it to all go away so they can stay in their bodies forever and never go home to God.
I couldn't care less about stuff dying now. It's everywhere and relentless. It's the way of the world, driven by laws of death. Stuff is dead before it's even born. Everything here is guaranteed to end, to rot and decay and turn to dust. So I say, let it. Fuck it all. Who gives a shit about it anyway. It has no effect whatsoever on our reality as spiritual beings. And trying to stop it happening is madness. But what does it matter when an illusion dies? It really means nothing at all. The death of an illusion means nothing.
No-one who believes that bodies dying means something can work miracles. No-one who believes that a person is really sick can work miracles. No-one who believes that death can actually change the sons of God can work miracles. And no-one who fights against it happening can have any power over it. I had to go through the lesson of associating my beliefs in sickness and death with my wife's body, so that as her body died so too did my beliefs in these things.
I failed to raise the dead or to stop sickness happening, and it was the best thing I could've learned. The lesson is that death doesn't matter. But the key is to let death be what it is, because in truth it is not anything. Surrender the fear of death and let it all go, let it all die, and you'll be free from it. And then maybe you'll be ready to be a miracle worker. To surmount death is to transcend it, and you can't do that while you're resisting it. But letting it be also lets it go, and then you can rise above it and have power over it.
"But time, with its illusions of change and death, wears out the world and all things in it."
"But this you do not see; that you made death, and it is but illusion of an end."
"Behold the body, and you will believe that you are there. ⁴And every body that you look upon reminds you of yourself; your sinfulness, your evil and, above all, your death."
"There is a risk of thinking death is peace, because the world equates the body with the Self which God created."
"And fear, denying love and using pain to prove that God is dead, has shown that death is victor over life. ⁷The body is the Son of God, corruptible in death, as mortal as the Father he has slain."
"The “reality” of death is firmly rooted in the belief that God’s Son is a body."
"This is what death should be; a quiet choice, made joyfully and with a sense of peace, because the body has been kindly used to help the Son of God along the way he goes to God. ²We thank the body, then, for all the service it has given us. ³But we are thankful, too, the need is done to walk the world of limits, and to reach the Christ in hidden forms and clearly seen at most in lovely flashes. ⁴Now we can behold Him without blinders, in the light that we have learned to look upon again."
"False healing rests upon the body’s cure, leaving the cause of illness still unchanged, ready to strike again until it brings a cruel death in seeming victory. ²It can be held at bay a little while, and there can be brief respite as it waits to take its vengeance on the Son of God. ³Yet it cannot be overcome until all faith in it has been laid by, and placed upon God’s substitute for evil dreams; a world in which there is no veil of sin to keep it dark and comfortless. ⁴At last the gate of Heaven opens and God’s Son is free to enter in the home that stands ready to welcome him, and was prepared before time was and still but waits for him."
"The “self” that needs protection is not real. ²The body, valueless and hardly worth the least defense, need merely be perceived as quite apart from you, and it becomes a healthy, serviceable instrument through which the mind can operate until its usefulness is over. ³Who would want to keep it when its usefulness is done?"
"From here the body can be seen as what it is, and neither less nor more in worth than the extent to which it can be used to liberate God's Son unto is home."
"I want the peace of God." W185
There's over 100 references in ACIM to "the peace of God". Years ago I wouldn't have thought that peace is something I want. It wasn't a priority. I just wanted all the stupid people to go away, lol.
But the more I've done the course the more it's becoming apparent that peace is very central to the experience I SHOULD be having.
I had a dream a few years ago which showed me an example of extraordinary peace.
In the dream there was a small outdoor scene with some trees and a wild grassy area, and a sort of sky with clouds, although the clouds seemed to be very nearby.
The clouds parted and as they did, they took on an extraordinary emerald green color, rich and vibrant and beautiful. An opening appeared and there floated in, from beyond the clouds, were a pair of beautiful orbs of light, which seemed to be radiating life and light and coloring the landscape as they went.
These orbs were spheres, and glowed gently from within. It wasn't like a dazzling light, just a soft glow. They seemed mostly transparent, and about the size of a bowling ball.
The two orbs floated very slowly and quietly past where I stood, and continued to float on forward, under their own will. But the thing that really struck me was the quality of the atmosphere and how it felt.
The orbs were alive, and were aware, and were extremely peaceful. They seemed to have no ounce of a sense of attack or irritation or disturbance. They were so incredibly calm and quiet, so perfectly innocent, holy even.
They could not not have been more pure, more simple, or more beautiful. They just glided along softly together, as though accompanying each other, and were perfectly unhurried and peaceful.
That's about where the dream ends. But I still think back on it and, when I do, I feel that same peace, and it becomes an inspiration. As I think about what that felt like, I can draw a number of ideas from it.
A total lack of all conflict, a total absence of war, a total lack of any sense of fighting or disturbance or angry aggression. A total innocence, so pure and gentle and simple, like it was just born from God.
No sense of irritation, or annoyance, or frustration or any kind of bitterness or resentment. No sense of guilt or sin or shame or unworthiness. Not the slightest speck of inflammation or agitation or interruption of any kind.
Perfectly calm and tranquil, with no force or pressure, no sense of threat or danger, no concern or worry or doubt or fear. Nothing complicated or distorted, no denial or rejection, no defences, and absolutely no sense of urgency.
Just total calm and total peace and total simple being. Total freedom, total beautiful innocent simplicity, and total calm gentle joy.
This I feel is what I really want, and what we all want. And it highlights how all these things that were absent - are all things that we are so accustomed to living with and tolerating. All the ego emotions and hurts, all the fighting and war and conflict, all the fear and guilt. All of it has to go.
I used to think somehow that the pinnacle of human experience might be some kind of heroic role in which we have superpowers and can do whatever we want, flying around the room with a cloak on. But this ego fantasy of being the savior to wretched peasants is being replaced with a simpler goal of humbleness and quiet.
And when all of that stuff goes, stuff that we think is normal and commonplace, all the sense of separation and tension and conflict goes with it. And what is left is just this lovely extremely calm peacefulness, lacking all sense of something being wrong in any way.
Perhaps that's what we are really. Just simple orbs of light floating around calmly and happily, in total surrender and total contentment, with no enemies and no reasons for concern. Just being at peace with God. Free and alive, floating along with not a care in the world.
Change the world? Well. As it turns out, its not possible to immediately materialize changes with the mind, unless of course you are more spiritually advanced. In this world, all things tend to be governed by the ego laws, and everything is difficult. To bring about any kind of alteration requires effort and a lot of time. A lot of work. You have to go through the proper channels and processes and plans and all the steps that it takes to go from idea to creation. It's a very long, laborious, slow process, no matter what you do.
Such a scenario is unnatural. It is our God-given ability to create life in an instant just by willing it. But in this world we've become severely limited, stripped of our powers seemingly and able only to affect change through physical brute force. Someone somewhere has to use the tools or move the objects. And then that leads to entire segments of activity like skills, the arts, craftsmanship, construction and assembly etc, all the efforts we make to "make stuff happen". To bring about a change. Long and slow and effortful and difficult and fraught with problems.
I thought it was maybe just me, some failure on my part or some inability to get things done. Or some procrastinating attitude. But really the difficulty and hurdles are built into spacetime. It's just the nature of the place. We literally made things difficult for ourselves and embedded orders of difficulty into just about everything. And now either you just do nothing and be a lazy bum or you are going to have to put in effort and struggle to make anything happen. And then this struggle is spiritualized and lauded as a valuable thing in its own right. And those who make bigger waves or create within the confines of the laws of spacetime become idol worshipped.
Change... on this level, is not an easy thing. And any amount of "getting stuff done" or trying to bring about a goal, takes a lot of constant efforting and striving and expenditure and loss and frustration. Those who become good at it can turn shit into money. Those who are bad at it end up with few abilities and a lot of limitations and poverty. And all of it is an attempt to "make something" out of the world and convert it into something else, some kind of magical transformation to some supposedly better more desirable form. Because otherwise it's a turd waiting to be polished.
So excuse me while I just take a lazy break from efforting and accomplishing, and just sit back and laugh at how broken the world has always been.
"You on earth have no conception of limitlessness, for the world you seem to live in IS a world of limits. In this world, it is NOT true that anything without order of difficulty can occur. The miracle, therefore, has a unique function, and is motivated by a unique Teacher, Who brings the laws of another world to this one. The miracle is the one thing you can do that TRANSCENDS order, being based, NOT on differences, but on equality. Miracles are NOT in competition, and the number that you can do is LIMITLESS. They can be simultaneous and legion. This is not difficult to understand, once you conceive of them as possible at all. "
The Kingdom of God has the interesting property of having to be shared and extended in order to exist. And the Course teaches that in order to truly 'have' something, you must give it away, because giving it proves that you must have had it and you can only give what you have. It also tells us that in order to experience anything you must SHARE in it because it is available to all and is not for your private possession.
"To have all, give all to all".
This is also reflected in "giving and receiving are one".
What it means is, things of God don't just sit there idle doing nothing. God isn't just "being God" without any increase or creation. If you are not sharing and extending love, love is not being love. This is why definitions of 'oneness' and 'non-duality' fall far short of the creative, extending, loving qualities of God.
We are also told that miracles which come from love will "go out because of what they are", but that "you are needed that they can begin." What that means is, love simply automatically radiates and extends by its own nature, but in order to allow it to extend through you you have to remove your blocks to it first. Then it moves through you without you having to make it do so.
Everything about God's Kingdom shares this nature. Something is not real unless it is shared, open, extending, increasing. This sharing and extending is like a RADIANCE or a radiation, or radiating outward. This produces LIGHT and PRESENCE. In a sense "God said, let there be light", speaks to God's creative ability to shine and create and extend.
Remember that in God's Kingdom everything is increased by being given, and giving something does not mean there is a loss (an ego idea). Instead, giving anything real increases it because giving does the opposite of losing.
Jesus talks about this in terms of everything being an idea. When you share an idea it is increased and it becomes stronger the more people believe in it. It does not diminish and the person having the idea does not lose anything.
The Course also says, "nothing real can be increased except by sharing". It is also the nature of love to extend and increase, because it has absolutely no reservations or limits or reasons to withhold itself from "shining" and radiating and going out everywhere.
Jesus talks about this in how the children of God contain the same "inner radiance" as the Father, and this is the source of all extension and creation.
Creation and extension and sharing are the same thing. To share to the ego means both parties have less than the whole. To share in Heaven means that both parties SHARE the WHOLE, and there is no decrease, and in fact there is an increase. The total is greater than the sum of the parts.
This is also true of the Sonship - "the combined total of the Sonship is greater than the sum of its parts". This is because each Son in the Sonship is not just a finite unit. Instead, each son SHARES and extends and increases and amplifies the rest of the Sonship. So it's not just like 500 sons lined up alongside each other, it's more like 500 sons overlapping and increasing with each other, creating a wholeness which is far larger than their individual contributions. This is also part of the holographic nature of creation.
Everything about God, His Kingdom, Creation, Extension, Sharing, Reality, Truth, Love, it all has this property of increase and sharing and going out and radiating and illuminating. And if this radiating and extending were not occurring, none of this stuff would be able to exist.
Love could not be love unless love loved to love and radiated love and extended and increased love's presence. Creation would not be possible at all (since nothing real can increase unless it shares) if it weren't for this sharing, giving, increasing.
There would be no light without the ability for it to shine, which means to "project" or extend outward beyond its source. God would have no Sons or Sonship and Heaven could not exist without it being in a constant state of radiance and increase.
Also therefore you cannot have or enjoy or share in anything real unless you also are willing for it to be given and extended. This is because, if you think about it, in order to receive something of God, you cannot just take it and possess it and diminish God's supply of it. Instead you have to be open to receive, to SHARE it, ie both you and God are experiencing the same thing, which also means this openness makes you willing to GIVE it as much as you receive it - giving and receiving are one, and therefore to experience love requires the willingness to share, receive, and give love, which automatically increases it.
God's act of CREATION, which we also possess since God shared it with us and created us capable of creating like Him, is an act of RETAINING your own light and love and yet 'projecting' it outward so that you shine, and this shining produces an increase, and manifests a "new creation" which itself possesses the ability to create and extend to exactly the same degree as yourself and God, and so now there is the whole of God + the whole of you + the whole of your own creations, and nothing is lost, and so there has only been an INCREASE. This is why Heaven rejoices as each Son of God returns Home to increase its light, and why joy increases, and everything just keeps on "growing" infinitely.
As love is received, shared, and extended, it increases because you are now acting like an amplifier or a relay which boosts the signal as it passes through. By giving it, by sharing it, you can 'have it', but you can't 'have' it by claiming it in isolation for yourself (which is ego). And so anything that is real cannot be possessed it has to be shared, and so anything real automatically has this sharing/increasing quality to its "terms and conditions". To exist (to have), it MUST extend. This is also why God creates and why every child of God is imbued with the same will to create. It is NATURAL to extend and create and to increase the presence of love. Nothing can exist without sharing and extension and equal giving and receiving.
Jesus revealead to me last night a whole new perspective on the whole idea of sin/guilt/fear/death.
I was doing a forgiveness process and Jesus had revealed that I was afraid because I believed I'd sinned. But when I inquired, tentatively, what this sin was.... Jesus revealed the real truth:
"There is no sin". ("what if you looked within and saw there is no sin?")
I thought, what, how is this possible? I thought about how we hark on about 'the separation', and how we've sinned, and now we're guilty, and then we're afraid, and all this.... we've sort of bought into this. And what Jesus showed me is, all of that is just a STORY.
It is not true that there is actually a sin in us. It's not true that we're actually guilty. It's not true that we actually need to be afraid. And it's not true that there is real death. It's all just a story, spun by the ego. This is all the ego's myth about what's happened - what it imagined and wanted to believe.
We BELIEVE we've sinned and separated, but we haven't. We THINK we're terrible sinners, but there is NO REAL SIN in us at all.
I've held in my mind a long time this 'creation myth' of how we separated and sinned and gained this huge unconscious guilt and fear etc... sort of accepting that this is 'true', but it's really not.
The ego has spun this story that we are really sinful, but it's just a made-up story. There is no sin at all! And it's pun this story that we're really guilty. But we're not guilty in the slightest! And it's spun this story that we need to be afraid. But there is absolutely no grounds for fear. And it's spun this story that we should suffer and die. But there's absolutely no foundation for that being true whatsoever.
I could see somewhat past the 'intense dark horror' of this story, perhaps for the first time, and looked instead to how this all began. Am I really separate from God? Hmmmmm.... what if the separation was also just a story that we made up? (Holy Spirit says "true"). What if we're not really separate from God at all, we just think we are.
We're all still innocent :-) And lo and behold, that made me laugh with relief, that I am still with God and quite literally, none of this story has *actually happened* at all. There is no actual sin, guilt, fear, punishment or death. It's just a great big fairytale. Kinda funny really.
It's quite common for us to say that the ego does this and it does that. The Course is filled with explanations about how the ego operates, and there is a lot of discussion outside the book about how the ego is responsible for stuff.
It gets to the point where you think of the ego like it is a 'thing' that has vicious vengeance in mind, and we refer to it in the third person. We make out indeed that the ego is like a separate entity almost, that it wants 'you' dead and it is sucking the life out of 'you' and all this.
We need to be clear that the ego is not only an illusion and doesn't exist, but also that YOU are the one who created it. It doesn't do anything on its own. It's not autonomous, it has no will, and it has no power. It's nothing more than a puff of smoke.
But we are the ones who invented this puff of smoke. We are the ones who USE it. We are the ones who choose it and choose to seem to be victims of it. We are the ones who go into it and make it seem real, and we also make it seem to do stuff to us against our will.
It's a major part of our role of pretending to be a victim, to have a sense of separation between us and other, and then because of this we section off a part of ourselves as this 'other' and call it the ego. We particularly like to project all the negative, wrong, bad stuff onto this ego, but in fact that's just one half of the ego. Who is it doing the projecting? It's also the ego. It's the ego trying to appear "good", making the other part of itself bad, because the ego is a state of inner conflict.
But even then it's not the ego doing this. It's you. You're the one choosing it, empowering it, putting 'life' into it, making it seem like it has a will of its own, and conveniently treating it like it's to blame for everything that's gone wrong, including death. A vast majority of the writing I've seen about the ego frames it like it's a separate thing. It is not ANYTHING, yet alone separate.
It is you who invented death. The ego didn't. You merely use what we call ego - a collection of illusions and deceptions - to try to pretend that death can happen and to act it out. All the while we pretend that we're not the one choosing this, and just as we make God a skapegoat we also make the ego the skapegoat like it did this to us. No it didn't. You will not experience any freedom or power while you continue to believe that the ego is responsible for anything that's happening "to you". It's all about you doing it to yourself.
"Ego" is nothing more than a label for all the ways that you deliberately and intentionally play with illusions. We talk about having a false self and about how the ego is trying to destroy you and all this - but it's you - you are trying to destroy you. Other words for ego are unconsciousness, sleep, dreaming, illusions, denial, self repression, separation etc. All the same thing. And it's all you that is choosing and making it. And you have the sole responsibility to stop making it. Just as Jesus says, "YOU made sickness and death and you can abolish both."
There is no ego really. It's just illusions. And there is no death.
Light is truth. You can see what really is, when there is light. You cannot see in the dark. Darkness appears to hide the light, as though blocking it, removing it, or affecting it. But light cannot be affected by darkness. Darkness is always affected by light, because light dispels it. Even in the dream world, light dispels the darkness.
In awareness, in your mind, the light of truth reveals to you what the truth is. In awareness of the truth, everything is revealed. Whatever the illusions were, they are seen clearly and understood to be only what they are and nothing that they appeared to be. They are nothing.
The light itself is enough to clarify the matter of whether the ego exists or not. The light shows you that there is no real ego. The light clearly reveals to your awareness, that all of the things which you thought really happened because of separation, actually have not happened.
The light also shows you something very important. And it's simply that, in the light of truth, nothing has really gone wrong, so there is nothing that you need to do "extra" to deal with the wrong stuff. You don't need defenses against it, you don't need special skills to deal with it, you don't need a special technique or a meditation or a set or rules. Your behavior doesn't matter, you don't have to effort to interpret things differently.
There simply has not been anything that has gone wrong. There is no ego, no world, no death. They were just illusions and tricks all along, pretending to be real but being nothing but fantasy. This is all *recognized* in the light. The light shows you that this is true. So it's not like, you suddenly realize that there's all this shit going on and now you have to deal with it. Its a recognition that there is not really any shit at all! None. Zero.
And then instead of having to constantly be at war, to defend yourself against the ego, you instead have cause for celebration, because you suddenly see that every single form of suffering was pretend, make-believe, illusory and fake. There was not a real separation. There was not sickness or suffering or death. It was all made up. And all you needed to do was to RECOGNIZE it for what it is - literally nothing.
The light is not concerned about the ego. The light is not upset about separation. The light does not fear the consequences that separation seems to cause. The light is just full of joy and celebration, in the recognition and knowledge, that God's Kingdom is completely intact, safe, unharmed, filled with eternal life, and absolutely nothing has ever gone wrong.
The light shows you this. It's a perspective. It's a correct way of looking. Its True Perception. Vision. The ability to see "what is" and, in that light alone, see that everything of the ego is simply false, untrue and not real at all.
Isn't it great news to know that absolutely nothing has ever really gone wrong, and all the stuff that seemed to have gone wrong was just a bad dream? That in reality, there is only the light and the joy and the peace? And that's all that there is? :-)
Its the big secret that all illusions attempt to hide. That there really has not been a separation at all, God is unchanged, You are still your True Self, you are still absolutely worthy of and welcome by God's love, and there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to be upset or afraid? This is the truth. This is the atonement of God. Reality is a HAPPY reality. All else is just a nightmarish illusion that isn't even real at all.
There is no true or valid reason to be upset or unhappy, ever. There is only justification for eternal life in joy and peace.
Years ago I did a miracle kind of by accident. I didn't even really know how I did this or why, it just kind of happened.
I had this box which had coins in it. I'd used up all the larger-denomination coins and there was only like 1 and 2 pence pieces left (British currency). I knew there was basically nothing in there besides this. I'd sifted through it several times and totally extracted all the good stuff.
But for some reason that day, I needed a couple of `pounds`, and was for some reason in a different state of mind. I kept having this feeling of insisting that there MUST be more money in there somewhere. I turned through the coins with my fingers, looking for it. For probably 30 seconds there was nothing, and I knew from previous checks that I wouldn't find anything. But, something in me was becoming very insistent.
I kept saying to myself, there MUST be some money in here. I built up this kind of ... I don't know if expectation is the word, it wasn't like having a sense of anticipation and then waiting, it was more like, an insistence, or a demand. I demanded that there be money, that this was TRUE, and that it simply must be. For some reason I wasn't paying attention to what my eyes were showing me, I was defying it and insisting there must be something there.
I don't know how I managed to ignore the ego at this point, because normally I would've been like, well, I know there is no higher denominations in there, I would trust my eyes and trust my previous experiences and just stop right there. But this time for some reason I was more miracle minded, and kept on probing the pile of coins insisting that there must be decent money in there.
And then, suddenly, two gold-colored 1-pound coins suddenly appeared out of nowhere. These are in striking contrast to the other coins because the 1 and 2 pence pieces are a dark brown bronze color. The shiny gold-colored coins were suddenly there at my fingertips. They didn't show up because they were hiding, they simply did not exist before. But somehow, they suddenly appeared. They manifested out of thin air.
I think at the time my mindset didn't seem that phased by this, like it seemed kind of natural or something. It didn't shock me. I also did not repeat it, or even attempt to. It didn't seem out of the ordinary, it's just how I was functioning somehow. It seemed to make sense and I just used the money as intended. It hasn't been until looking back on the event that I realized more that this was a miraculous manifestation and that I was doing something with my mind which was not typical.
This really is the tip of the iceberg of what the mind can do. It's going to be fun opening up to more of this.
Some miracle-working basics are embedded in this story....
1) expecting/demanding/insisting/knowing/requiring that the result must happen
2) ignoring all "better judgement" or ego knowledge or even visual evidence
3) being persistent and consistent and not taking no for an answer - you have to kind of resolve to be "done with" tolerating the conditions that are present and resolve to be 100% determined that it MUST change.
Jesus has said in the Course that when the mind is used to focus thought, combined with strong/firm belief, a huge surge of power results which has the power to literally move mountains. Bring it on! This is what miracles really are all about. Ignoring the ego and bringing forth supernatural results.
The world is difficult to deal with, because it is completely opposite to reality.
"And EVERYTHING here takes a direction EXACTLY opposite to what is true."
"He did not make two minds, with Heaven as the glad effect of one, and earth the other's sorry outcome which is Heaven's opposite in every way."
"The world was made that problems could not be escaped.""In this world, it is NOT true that anything without order of difficulty can occur."
It would be challenging enough if this world were just a LITTLE bit unlike reality. You could maybe deal with it better if it at least resembled it in some obvious way. But physical form was designed to COMPLETELY deceive you.
"Nothing so blinding as perception of form."
So instead what you are faced with, every day that you wake up, is a picture of a world which demonstrates utter impossibilities, complete violation of God's laws, constant threats to the existence of what was previously immortal, visual proof everywhere you look that death is real and attack is possible, and just a constant barrage of problems and things going wrong.
How anyone can deal with this on any level is incredible.
Fortunately sometimes "life" seems to throw you some bones and maybe there is a temporary reprieve in the suffering, or you can hole up in your house to create a false sense of security, or maybe just avoid all the bad stuff as much as possible. But this doesn't really make it go away or stop happening.
Then ACIM is saying to us, that not only is this entire world designed to represent an impossible, blasphemous opposite to God's nature, it is also your job to somehow laugh in the face of it. To overlook all its faults and inherent murderousness. To find a way to look at it such that, outright horrendous attack and evil are actually "not that". That somehow you're supposed to even recognize that your body's senses are lying to you, that there is not even one speck of the world that is doing anything other than tempt you into hell.
To say it's not easy to rise above it, is an understatement. Threats of death are happening all the time. And if it doesn't seem to be going to hell for you, it's going to hell for someone else. And then you're temporarily thankful that you're not the one getting it this time in a world of punishment.
"For this world is the symbol of punishment, and all the laws which seem to govern it are the laws of death. "
Can we just, take a moment to acknowledge, how HARD it is for all of us, to try to rise above a world which is so vehemently anti-christ and anti-life? This is no easy feat. The truth may be simple but it is by far not simple at all to fly in the face of everything an entire world tells you is true. We're all doing the best we can and sometimes it can be very difficult.
Somehow there is a light at the end of the tunnel, a hope that we have to keep holding onto, a promise of redemption and salvation. A trust that is developed in the Holy Help. And a victory over death. We keep striving forward because we are so deeply attracted to God and want to be Home. And ultimately that is what will pull us back to heaven's reality, regardless of how much the world tries to pull us down. We who MADE it to pull us down, need merely recognize we no longer want to do that, and we are free.
"And you will understand that miracles reflect the simple statement, "I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo.".
Illusions + reality = sin.
Reality - illusions = innocence.
This world we're in is a place of limitations. Everything is an illusion. Nothing is whole. Everything is partial. And all the forms that things take seem to depict and symbolise, in one way or another, ideas of separation and attack.
But even so, the world is neutral and is just a dream, it doesn't mean anything. Its forms are just mistakes - errors, various symbolic images which seem to depict impossible things, unnatural things, things not of God. Like sickness and death and murder.
None of this is a sin. But it could tempt you to believe it is a sin, IF you follow the sin formula.
The sin formula is a combination of illusions and reality. It's what you get when you take something that is an illusion and you try to GIVE IT the properties of God. If you give it reality, permanence, irreversibility, unchangeability, truth ..... then you now combine various flawed-looking limited things with truth. And that is how you convert a mistake into a sin.
Sin is then a way of looking at a mistake, in a mistaken way. It's a mistake about a mistake. It's' where you don't recognize that an illusion is just an illusion, or that a mistake is just a mistake. Instead it is regarded AS TRUE, as real, as happening, as permanent.
As such a sinful false-perception way of seeing things looks at bodies and physical happenings - which are all illusions - AS IF THEY ARE REAL.
So IF it were true that we are bodies, and IF bodies were real, and IF bodies were "doing something" to each other, it WOULD be a sin. Because now something real is attacking something real. And that WOULD be a horrendous attack upon reality. And it WOULD have real effects which can be observed and proven.
Such a sin WOULD call for punishment, it would be such a logical statement of truth and fact, such as that "you really have killed God" or "you really have killed God's son" ... that it would absolutely totally JUSTIFY all anger and all revenge and all punishment. This is why "the wages of sin is death." Logically it says you DID do this, I did not ask for it, you owe me, I am justified in revenge in order to atone and equalise, and therefore you deserve to die.
But sin - the perception that something IS a sin - is just a mistake ABOUT mistakes. A mistaken view OF illusions. A mistaken combination of things which in and of themselves are NOT true or real, taken to be true and real. An illusion believed, turns it into a sin.
Sin kind of "locks things in", makes them seem unchangeable - this is the idea that sin is irreversible. It would indeed seem that sins are irreversible if you give them God's properties - because God himself is irreversible. His permanence, confused with space and time and its contents, produces a perception of a world of sin.
"A world forgiven cannot last. It was the home of bodies. But forgiveness looks past bodies. This is its holiness; this is how it heals. The world of bodies is the world of sin, for only if there is a body is sin possible. From sin comes guilt as surely as forgiveness takes all guilt away." UrT5A5
What this is really saying is that the world of bodies is the world where you could be tempted to believe sins are happening, and typically you need bodies in order to make sins possible. But sin is just a way of INTERPRETING bodies, and once you interpret them as REAL, you introduce a demand for guilt and death.
This is why forgiveness takes away guilt, because it still looks at the same bodies but WITHOUT confusing them for something real or true. It lifts away God's properties and power and permanence, and sees that the bodies are just neutral harmless illusions. And as such they ARE ERRORS, but they are NOT SINS.
"To see a SINLESS body is impossible. For holiness is POSITIVE, and the body is merely neutral. It is NOT sinful, but neither is it sinless. As nothing, which it IS, the body cannot meaningfully be invested with attributes of Christ OR of the ego. EITHER must be an error, for both would place the attributes where they cannot BE. And BOTH must be undone, for purposes of truth." UrT20H4
The body is not "sin-ful" as in FULL of sin, because this is an ego attribute - a false perception OF a body - to suggest its erroneous nature is REAL, and therefore that it is inherently a sin. The body is not really a sin. But at the same time, the body is also not said to be sin-less. .. because sinlessness is a state of such purity and innocence that it cannot have illusions in it. The body IS an illusion, so the body is actually NOTHING, so cannot accurately be said to be "a sin" OR "an innocence."
The thing is that we in our egos, in our false perception insanity, tend to COMBINE physical things with the properties of God. The worst of all these beliefs is the belief that the physical world is God's creation, IS God, and is thus real forever. This is the most sin-laden view of the world possible.
By believing the world is reality, is true, is eternal, is of God, all physical things - which are errors, are converted into sins. And now all acts, all behaviours, all events, are regarded as sins. As we believe that bodies are real, we believe that bodies ARE PEOPLE, and now we are believing that the mind is physical and souls can be destroyed.
Believing that the body is real and is the person, IS a belief in sin, and is thus an attack upon the body and the person. It's an egoic way of framing the person as not innocent. And once you believe they ARE a body, you will enter into all manner of nightmares.
There will be the nightmare of fear that their body could be in danger, the nightmare of guilt that you cannot save their body from death, the nightmare of anger that other people or things are doing stuff to their body, the nightmare of hopelessness that you cannot stop their body sickness, it goes on and on.
While we continue to be confused and lost in combining illusions with reality, giving God's properties to things which are not of God, we will continue to suffer and have a bad dream experience. But once we separate out God from the world, reality from illusions, souls/Christ from bodies, we can enter into the happier dream.
The happy dream comprises still the dream of illusions, but without sin projected onto it. Without that sense of - this is actually really a horrible bad thing. Without that attacking judgement of "this world REALLY IS a shit place." Yes it can seem to be a shit place, indeed it cannot be anything other than shit, but thankfully it is not a REAL one.
The happy forgiving dreams of RECOGNITION that an illusion is an illusion, that bodies are dreams, that the world's events are fiction, and that the world IS NOT ACTUALLY doing anything to anything real, liberates the mind and allows us to be in a state closer to sinlessness, closer to innocence. And we can project this onto the world, temporarily, and see it reflected back as the reflection of heaven. A distorted strange dream-world seen with forgiving eyes, a kind of "happy fiction."
"Forgiveness might be called a kind of happy fiction; a way in which the unknowing can bridge the gap between their perception and the truth. They" UrT4A2
"Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred. It does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees there was no sin. And in this view are all your sins forgiven." UrW220W11
Sins are forgiven by recognizing they are NOT sins, they are just mistakes. And mistakes simply call for correction, not punishment. When you recognize that someone just made a mistake, you do not hold it against them like it is some kind of permanent reality and truth about them. You let your view of them be CHANGED, so that you see their mistakenness calls only for a gentle loving correction, and not a horrendous accusation.
"And what else should therapy be? Awake and be glad, for all your sins have been forgiven you. This is the only message that any two should ever give each other." UrP4B4