If you think that they are causing your problems, and that they need to change, you're mistaken. If you could get them to change, your problem won't really go away.
Because you are the one who is attacking you.
You just think it's someone else's fault, but really your blame is just your attempt to get rid of your own self-blame. You attacked yourself, and now you are trying to find someone else guilty for it.
If you were to get someone else to behave differently or treat you differently, it still wouldn't undo your suffering. It might remove from your experience, temporarily, the current projection of your self-attack, but as soon as someone else comes along that fits the bill, you'll do it all over again.
You do not have a problem with other people. You have a problem with yourself. You can't fix this problem by trying to force someone else to be responsible for it, or to get them to fix it for you.
You have to recognize that you're doing this to yourself, and you were all along. Then undo that. Stop hating yourself, and your need to blame will disappear. Stop hating yourself, and your need to find other people guilty will disappear.
Your finding other people guilty is not really the problem, and your hating other people is not really the problem, and your blaming of people is not really the problem. But your problem is that you do these things in order to deny what YOU believe is true about yourself. These attacks are just cover-ups for your own self-attack. They are indirect self-abuse.
You don't even particularly need to be concerned about trying to become more loving towards others. Love will reveal itself naturally when you remove your own blocks to it. Your own blocks are your belief that you're sinful. It's your self-condemnation and judgement of yourself. You but accuse others of your own sinfulness.
Once you remove your own crap and clean up your own attitude about yourself, automatically you will see this renewed self in other people, because you won't be putting tons of guilt into them. You'll see them for how they really are because you're seeing yourself for how you really are.
As within, so without. You are the one who needs forgiveness.
Ego is always about believing you are SEPARATE FROM the things you attack. That cause and effect are separate. That you can escape the consequences, and get away with murder.
If you project guilt through anger, you believe that the other person is guilty and not yourself. You might not be quite so aware that when you JUDGE in any way, you are doing the same thing.
You judge something that you believe is NOT YOU, in order to believe you've escaped the consequences of judging.
However, because the Golden Rule always applies, when you do to others you do to yourself. Because you are one with them, and a part of them. The part of you in them is attacked by your attack, and judged by your judgment.
You cannot help but feel judged, victimised, embarrassed, ashamed and guilty, when you judge something. And this is because all judgements you make are with the ego. They are attempt to separate off and evaluate independent parts, which splits your mind, and causes you to hurt yourself.
It's not merely that you should not judge because "its mean to someone else." Or that you'd be guilty if you did that to someone not yourself. But more that you should not judge because you CANNOT get away with it, and WILL experience effects upon yourself.
You think you sit within your body and observe and are passive and can hand out judgements on things outside of you with no effect whatsoever. This is not true. Judgement will disturb your peace and remove your happiness, because you cannot condemn and love at the same time.
"Judge not, because you make yourself a PART of evil dreams, where idols are your "true" identity, and your salvation from the judgment laid, in terror and in guilt, upon yourself." UrT29J2
"Judge not, for you but judge yourself and thus delay this final judgment" UrM16A2
"When the Bible says "Judge not that ye be not judged" it merely means that if you judge the reality of others at all, you will be unable to avoid judging your own." UrT3H1
When the ego attacks, it does not see you for who you really are.
Its belief in sin and guilt heavily skews its perception. It perceives in you a sinful guilty person, which isn't really in you.
It then addresses that sinful guilty person which it is hallucinating, and thinks that it is talking to a real person, or to "you".
It's not about you. It's not really personal.
The ego cannot see you in your real self. Your real self is invisible to it, just as the ego is invisible to the real self because it does not exist.
When the ego is seeming to attack, it is actually inside its own private world where nothing is real. It literally cannot even fight its way out of a paper bag.
So really when someone is attacking, they are attacking their own projected hallucination. They're not attacking the you that you really are.
Your only real issue is if YOU believe that you are sinful and guilty, because if you do so, you will perceive that there is a very close correlation between what the other person is claiming about "you" - which is really about their hallucinated sinful self - and what YOU think about you. Not being able to tell the two apart - your hallucination vs their hallucination, you'll bridge the gap and perceive that they are attacking you.
YOU are only ever attacking you, and THEY are only ever attacking themselves.
To be fully free of such attacks, claim your innocence! Then you will know you are not being targeted by attackers and will recognize that they are actually just hallucinating, attacking themselves, and are against themselves. It's not even about you at all!
How free and unafraid you will be when you learn to see that you are not the target of the ego at all, because you are not the ego. And all the people who ever seemed to attack you, and all of your belief that you even COULD be attacked, will disappear in the light of the truth that people ONLY do stuff to themselves.
If you believe someone is going to do something to you, it's because YOU believe that you deserve to have something done to you.
Inside you is a belief in attack. YOU believe in attack. And by believing in attack, you will project that belief and become suspicious of other people. You'll believe they are going to attack you. And you'll be all concerned about them doing this, but it's really to dowith you *threatening yourself*.
Why do you believe in attack and why do you believe that you should attack and be attacked?
If you remove this belief, from within yourself, you will no longer be able to believe in attack. And not believing in it, you will not fear it, and it will not happen because you have not asked for it.
You know deep down that believing in attack makes it happen because you get what you ask for. That's why you are afraid. You're afraid that the other people are RIGHt to attack you - you agree you deserve it and want it, and now are having to defend yourself against it, even though on the surface you THINK that you don't want it.
Letting go of that belief entails bringing some Holy Spirit love juices into the mix, shining a light so you can look at this belief that's IN you, that's ABOUT you, thats BY you, that says you are attackable and worthy of it.
You don't deserve attack. Nobody does. You deserve love. Can you accept that and be free?
It's not possible to have a double standard. It's not to do with other people attacking you and you remaining totally void of attack. You think it's their motive and not your own. But the only way to believe in the attack of others is to believe in attack, period, which means you are just as much a believer in attack as you think they are.
What applies to them, applies to you. You do unto others as you do unto yourself. And you've done this attack to yourself.
The ego mind plays ALL of the roles in the dream simultaneously.
It is all of the characters at once, even if those characters seem to be completely against each other, or working together. It is like a puppeteer with billions of hands, pulling all the strings at once.
It is the person victimizing someone and also the person being victimized.
It is the hero coming to rescue the homeless personstuck in the river and also the homeless person stuck in the river.
It is the man shouting at some woman across the street, and also the woman being shouted at.
It is the person cutting you off in traffic, and you being cut off in traffic.
It is the person skapegoating another and attacking them as well as the person being skapegoated and attacked.
It is the politician you like and the politician you don't like.
It is your favorite team and their arch rivals.
Is is the person in the relationship who is angry and right and the other person in the relationship who is also angry and right.
But there is another mind, a non-ego mind. The mind of the Holy Spirit, which overlooks these artificial roles and the need for them. It does not identify with any of the sides being taken or any of the attacks, which ultimately are attacks upon the attacker. Whatever one person does that they think they do to another, they do to themselves. Whatever the ego mind thinks it escapes, it condemns itself with. And whoever is your enemy, is yourself.
Only if you can recognize that you are ALL of these people, in Oneness, can you truly take the responsibility to step out of ALL ego roles and disguises and be a consistent, authentic self. You can't play the game if you see that all of the pieces are set up as self attacks. There is nothing to gain. Holy Spirit sees through the costumes and the dramas and the pretense that one person is not another. He knows we are all one.
If you are not guilty, you have nothing to be afraid of, because you do not believe you deserve punishment.
The innocent have no basis on which to be afraid. They know they are innocent. They cannot take any accusations seriously. They cannot accuse themselves.
Fear only arises when there is guilt in the mind. If you are afraid of anything, in some way there must be guilt in you first.
The same is basically true in life in terms of the law, whereby if you did not commit the crime, you have nothing to worry about. If you did commit the crime (i.e. are guilty), then now there are consequences.
The consequence of guilt is punishment. Guilt demands punishment. It's not just that punishment "might" follow on from guilt. It MUST.
If you are guilty then you believe you do not deserve forgiveness, which means, you believe you deserve to be condemned for your mistake rather than have it be undone. That condemnation is punishment.
The guilty will themselves believe in their own deserving of punishment. Then because they believe in it, they will see it, manifest it, attract it, choose it, want it, and make it happen to themselves.
Regardless of what appears to be other people making you afraid because of what they are or might do to you, you are actually afraid because you believe they SHOULD do it to you because you deserve it. You want to suffer and be hurt because of what you did, to "atone" for it.
In fear, you might perceive and believe that other people are punishing you or things are happening to you "against your will". But it is not against your will. YOU believe in your guilt and YOU are the one punishing yourself. You can't claim to be being unfairly treated by them when it is YOU that is unfairly treating yourself. You will create people to attack you on your own behalf.
You will think you are afraid "of" or being "made afraid by" those MEANS by which punishment will come to you, but that's not why you are afraid. You're not afraid of being hurt by Jim or attacked by Sarah or to suffer with xyz disease. You're afraid because you're GUILTY, and your belief in guilt is forcing you to expect and bring about your own death.
All fear is the fear of death - punishment inflicted to atone for sin.
To undo all fear, get rid of guilt!
Without guilt there is no basis for fear whatsoever, in any form.
Here is yet another way to explain why death is not part of the program for a miracle worker.
1. Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing real can be hurt, attacked, made sick, or dead. Reality has eternal life.
2. If there is sickness or death showing up, it MUST be an ILLUSION of sickness and death, not REAL sickness or REAL death.
3. There is no such thing as real sickness or real death.
4. An illusion can only persist so long as something about it is not recognized. This is how all puzzle games work, for example. So long as the "solution" - which is nothing other than awareness of the "how the trick works", remains obscure to you, you’ll buy into and be trapped by the illusion. As soon as you "see" the answer, suddenly you are no longer deceived. You have stepped outside the illusion and what you thought was true is no longer true. You can no longer "buy the lie", and thus the illusion *disappears*. It’s like the punchline of a joke you already heard - not so funny anymore.
5. Suffering only persists while illusions of suffering are maintained. They can’t be maintained when there is truth and sight. As soon as they are seen for what they are, they have no power to hide the truth, and the truth dispels the MYTH. No myth, no illusion. Nothing but a lie to recognize as such. No-one will keep a lie when it is recognized as one.
6. Illusions of sickness and death similarly must disappear when recognized. If we are deceived by them, we are not seeing fully. If they seem real, we are not seeing fully. If they seem to hold any power at all, or have any truth in them, we are still unconcious. As soon as we are aware of what these things are - illusions of things that are not happening in reality - we can wipe them away like a puff of smoke. They are recognized as NOTHING. "The last illusion to be overcome is death."
7. A mind that is in truth, is aware, and cannot buy into or be deceived by illusions. Such a mind DISPELS illusions. Light shines away darkness. Such a mind MUST disappear sickness and death. Sickness and death cannot REMAIN when they are recognized as illusions, because "illusions recognized MUST disappear." Therefore you cannot keep sickness or death when the mind is sane. "The mind, being sane, heals the body.
This is a radical teaching in A Course in Miracles which is often denied or distorted, simply because it seems too radical to be true. The BODY must be healed otherwise the mind IS NOT HEALED. "Only the mind AND body need atonement." "Damaged bodies are accusers." "A damaged body is PROOF the mind ***has not been healed***."
"Forgiveness is not real UNLESS it brings a healing (OF THE BODY AND MIND) to your brother AND yourself. YOU must attest his sins had no effect on YOU (no evidence of physical attack), to **demonstrate** (physically!) they were not real. How else COULD he be guiltless? And how COULD his innocence be justified UNLESS ***his sins have no effect*** (no damage to show for it) to WARRANT guilt? Sins (physical attacks) are beyond forgiveness just BECAUSE they would entail ***effects which CANNOT be undone*** (physical damage) and overlooked entirely (because if you can still SEE IT there is proof of sin). ***In their UNDOING lies the proof*** that they were merely errors. LET yourself be healed (mind AND body), that you may be forgiving, offering (in person, physically) salvation to your brother AND yourself. A broken body (YES, mind AND BODY must be healed) shows the mind has NOT been healed. A miracle of healing (physically) ***proves*** that separation is WITHOUT effect.
What you would prove to him you will believe (!! if you SHOW him a sick body, YOU **MUST** BELIEVE IN SICKNESS!). The power of ***witness*** (seen visually, physical healing) COMES from your belief. And everything you say or do or think but testifies to what you teach to him. Your ****body can be means to teach that it has never suffered pain**** because of him. And *!*!*!>>> in its healing <<< *!*!*! can it offer him mute testimony to his innocence. It is THIS testimony (A PHYSICALLY HEALED BODY DEVOICE OF ANY SIGNS OF ATTACK!!!) that can speak with power greater than a thousand tongues. For here is his forgiveness PROVED to him. A miracle (producing PHYSICAL healing!) can offer nothing LESS to him than it has given unto you. So does your healing (OF THE BODY!!!) show your mind is healed (as well), ***and has forgiven what he did NOT do***. And so is HE ***convinced*** (by PHYSICAL PROOF) his innocence was never lost, and healed along with you.
Thus does the miracle undo ***all things the world attests can never BE undone*** (all physical damage/effects, all sickness, all hurt, all wounds). And hopelessness ***and death*** (physical death!) ***MUST disappear*** before the ancient clarion call of life. This call has power FAR beyond the weak and miserable cry of death and guilt. The ancient Calling of the Father to His Son, and of the Son unto his own, will yet be the last trumpet that the world will ever hear. Brother, there is no death. And this you learn when you but wish to ***show your brother that you had no hurt of him.*** (REQUIRES that the physical body be fully RESTORED TO HEALTH AND WHOLENESS SO THAT YOU CAN *SHOW HIM*) He thinks ***your blood*** (literally, physical blood) is on his hands, and so he stands condemned (by your physical sickness - "damaged bodies are accusers"). But it is given you to ***SHOW him, by your healing (OF THE BODY!!!), that his guilt is but the fabric of a senseless dream."
YES, IT DOES MEAN THIS FOLKS!!!!!!!!!!
Here is Jesus backing it up further in another part of the course.
"Now in the hands made gentle by His touch, the Holy Spirit lays a ***picture of a DIFFERENT you***. ****It is a picture of a body still****, for what you REALLY are can not be seen nor pictured. But ****THIS one has NOT been used for purpose of attack, and therefore never suffered pain at all.**** (a perfectly healed, whole, unharmed body with no signs of sin or attack or sickness!) IT (this "picture of health body") witnesses to the eternal truth that **you can not BE hurt**, and ***points BEYOND itself to both YOUR innocence and HIS.*** (indicates, teaches, demonstrates, SHOWS, symbolized, your brother's innocence).
Show THIS unto your brother (a healed body!), who will ****see that every scar is healed**** (literally all physical scarring is gone), and every tear is wiped away in laughter and in love. And ***he will look on his forgiveness there*** (sees he is forgiven because there are NO EFFECTS OF SIN), and with healed eyes will look BEYOND it (because it's a symbol pointing to the mind's healing), to the innocence that he beholds in you (in your healed mind). Here is the proof (PHYSICAL!!!) that he has NEVER sinned; that NOTHING that his madness bid him do (attack you, damage your body, harm your body, make you sick, wound you etc) was ever done, ****or ever had effects of any kind**** (ALL PHYSICAL EFFECTS ARE HEALED!!!!!). That NO reproach he laid upon his heart was EVER justified (no reason for guilt cus the body is not hurt), and NO attack can touch him with the poisoned sting of fear (the healed body proves he cannot have really attacked). Attest his innocence (physically) and NOT his guilt. YOUR (body and mind) healing is his comfort and HIS health. BECAUSE it proves illusions were not true." (the health of himself AND HIS BODY are now restored as a result of his exoneration by YOUR healed mind and body!)
Also
"The body can become a sign of life (symbol of eternal life and invulnerability), a promise of redemption, and a ***breath of immortality*** to those grown sick of breathing in the fetid scent of death (literal physical stinky death). Let it have healing as its PURPOSE (use by the holy spirit for healing). Then will it send forth (communicate VISUALLY through PHYSICAL PROOF) the message it received, and by its (physical) health and loveliness (!! Yes the body's loveliness and health) proclaim (communicate, teach!) the truth and value that it represents. Let it receive the power to represent (symbolize, to be a symbol of immortality) an endless life, forever unattacked. (the body shows up AS IF it is immortal!) And to your brother let its message be, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I live."" (because the body now PROVES that as a consequence of your brother's INNOCENCE, YOUR BODY IS NOT ATTACKED, proving HE is forgiven.)
Reference "the fear of healing" and "the picture of crucifixion" sections for more information.
If you had NO blocks to awareness, you would be vividly, constantly aware, that anything you attempt to do to others, you do directly and immediately to yourself.
Anything you express towards others, you experience.
Anything you give to others, you receive.
"Giving and receiving are one."
You cannot move an inch in any way towards another without moving that same inch in your own direction.
Anything you do to them you do to yourself.
If you attack them, you are literally going into a state of a split mind in which your mind is under attack.
If you are angry at someone, trying to destroy them through guilt, your destructive hatred towards them is an attempt to destroy yourself.
In awareness, you and your brother have SHARED INTERESTS. It is in both your interest and the interest of another, that the way you treat them IS how you want to be treated. Because it is how YOU are treating yourself.
This is beyond traditional definitions of the Golden Rule. It is not mere wishful thinking or hope that another MIGHT treat you the same. It is in fact metaphysical law, completely inescapable, and applicable to everyone always.
What is true of another is true of you.
You cannot so much as send a tiny little zap of annoyance toward someone without YOU suffering from it.
When your mind IS blocked, and you are not aware of the fact that you ALWAYS have shared interests because you are literally ONE WITH your brother, you start to believe that how you treat others is SEPARATE from how you are treated.
This is the slippery slope of the ego, of inequality, and the breaking of the law of God. In attempted IGNORANCE of the golden rule, the ego claims that you can get away with murder because cause and effect are NOT connected (separation between father and son), allowing you to attack without being attacked.
Believing that you can have harmful attitudes towards others WITHOUT being harmed, is an absolute lie. You may not be AWARE that you are harming yourself, because you are in denial, and your mind is blocked. But you ARE DIRECTLY hurting yourself whenever you in ANY WAY attempt to hurt anyone.As the blocks to awareness become lifted and you can learn to SEE the unity and oneness with others, which is opening to the shared mindset of God and the Holy Spirit, it becomes much easier to see AND FEEL, the fact that when you try to destroy someone, you ARE destroying yourself.
Those who are hurt hurt others. Those who see themselves as abused abuse others. Those who hate feel hated. Those who cannot love do not feel loveable. Those who are sick are trying to prove they should be punished. Those who attack or blame believe they deserve to die.
"You but accuse your brother of your own sins."
"It can be but myself I crucify."
"I can be attacked by nothing but my thoughts."
"You are doing this to yourself."
Because you are one with your brothers, your MIND is IN THEIR MIND."One brother is all brothers. One mind is all minds. Such is the truth."If you think that another person is NOT ONE WITH YOU, then you make them a "stranger". This is because you have become estranged from yourself. A separation or gap has formed, a SPLIT, in between you and another person. And this gap houses the body which becomes a separation device, keeping you isolated and alone.
Believing you are NOT IN others, you believe you can attack them and NOT attack yourself. This is a lie. It is based entirely in denial and unawareness. Anything you attempt to do to anyone you DO DIRECTLY to the part of you that is SHARED with them.
In every way you can imagine, any measure of inequality in which you and your brother are considered to be NOT ONE, or to not share, or to have different rules apply, or different truths for each, is EGO. Ego simply means inequality.
Believing you are not equal to others, not a brother, not an equal sibling of the same father, you will conceive of the many ways that you can be SPLIT OFF from them and thus from part of yourself. And you can then attack the split off part and believe it is not you. This is nothing other than dissociation in your mind.
"The separation IS the notion of rejection."
"Exclusion and separation are synonymous. So are separation and dissociation."
"the separation was and is dissociation"
Dissociating one part of your self from another, is the split mind, and is the ego. It IS the separation! And in this split minded state you are at war with yourself, and yet you belief and experience it as if it is NOT YOU that you are at war with. As if there is a SEPARATE PERSON who is the enemy or attacker or sinner. This is simply part of you which you've split off and disowned.
This means every attack you think is coming from another is coming from this split off part of your own self, and has nothing to do with anyone else. This is why the secret of salvation tells you that EVERY form of attack is self attack. And if you would NOT split your mind through attempts to create a SEPARATION BETWEEN you and others, you would not be sick or suffer or die.
It seems very strange to say this but, shared interests means that you literally are IN your brothers as part of them, and how you treat them IS how you are directly treating yourself. Which means there is NO WIGGLE ROOM or loopholes for how you can have an attitude toward or about someone else "separate from" your self. EVERY expression and every decision you make is to either attack BOTH OF YOU, OR NEITHER.
Having something in common is not a shared interest. It is a mutual agreed-to pair of separation devices which happen to clash the least. A true shared interest requires the recognition that you SHARE ONE MIND.
"Healing is when two minds recognize their oneness and become glad."This is VERY ALIEN to how the world thinks and acts. Because the world is riddled with divisions, separations and split minded people. Everyone with an ego is living in a state of DISSOCIATION. Every single person is against themselves and trying to kill themselves, but are doing it through such disowning of themselves that they think someone or something ELSE is doing it to them.
Imagine being so divided within yourself that you don't even recognize when you are destroying and attacking yourself, and you think it's someone totally separate from you that is your worst enemy, when all along your mind is split in half and at war with itself. That's what happening in the world.To share interests is to be of ONE interest. With an interest in oneness.
The simple transition which occurs as the result of A Course in Miracles, applying forgiveness correctly, is that you transition from blaming everyone else to becoming responsible.
Auto-pilot for the ego is that everything you experience is caused by everyone and everything else outside of you. When you think about that, it's a pretty strange way to live - only ever experiencing what life throws at you, reacting to it like a passive victim.
As you begin to see that the person you were blaming is not the CAUSE of your problem, that the cause is IN you, not outside of you, and that you are completely responsible for EVERYTHING you experience, you stop seeing others as justified targets for blame.
Now you begin to see that it is not really the person being blamed that has a problem. It's the person doing the blaming.
If a person is upset, it is NOT the person they are upset with that has the problem, its the person who is upset.
If someone seems to have been hurt by someone else, it is NOT that other person's fault, it is the responsibility of the person who was hurt. You cannot BE hurt without the consent of your mind. Your mind is powerful and CREATES the *response* of hurt in your body in cooperation with the attacker, otherwise your body could not possibly show effects.
All of the attention of blame and projection and scapegoating onto others, all finger pointing, all perception of being attacked, all perception that someone or something is causing you positively or negatively, and all ideas of being changed by, affected by, caused by or upset by, anything whatsoever outside of you, has to go out the window. There perceptions are false and they are incompatible with health, happiness and sanity.
Imagine realizing that absolutely nothing outside of you has ever affected you, absolutely nobody has ever done anything to you, absolutely nobody is to blame for anything, there is absolutely no-one worthy of being judged or reacted to, and that YOU are the sole responsible agent for what you are experiencing. And if this is true, then notice how freeing this is, how safe it feels, how deeply peaceful it makes you.
If the world is NOT attacking you, if other people are NOT hurting you, if there ARE no causes outside of you, and if you cannot ever be at the effect of anything in the world... you are SOOOOO safe, so protected, so calm and reassured, and so permanently transcendent of all suffering. Yes please!