The truth is plain and clear. It can be presented in a perfectly clear manner. It can be spelled out with such logical clarity that anyone in their right mind would have absolutely no problem accepting it makes sense and is true. "No-one can argue with a fact" IF they are in their right mind.

However, when someone is not in their right mind and has an ego, something very weird happens.

It doesn't even matter how clear the truth is. It doesn't even matter that we are surrounded by and immersed in the absolute truth of God in Heaven RIGHT NOW. We still for some reason do not see it, recognize it, accept it, or want it. What is up with that?

Presenting the truth to someone extremely clearly, with maximal black and white clarity, leaving no room for confusion, STILL is not enough to get someone to accept it. This is why Jesus said he took every measure to make the course as clear as possible, but that people CAN AND WILL find controversy in it IF they look for it (with ego).

The problem boils down to.... the ego IS NOT WILLING to accept it.

We could be shown plain and simple what the truth IS. And yet we could still DENY it by being UNWILLING to accept it is true. This reminds me of Helen S saying that she knew the course was the truth but she could not believe it.

The ego has this very weird thing it does, a kind of blindness, an insanity, a sort of vibe it gets, even if something is totally plain and simple truth, that it will STILL persist with a sense of "I don't believe this", "It's not true". To have that kind of stubbornness in the face of the facts, is nothing less than an act of denial.

For example.

"The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite." (so now we know any opposite to love does not exist)

"Your Love is Heaven" (so now we know heaven is love - and expressed in many other phrases)

"Heaven remains your one alternative to this strange world you made and all its ways; its shifting patterns and uncertain goals, its painful pleasures and its tragic joys. God made no contradictions. What denies its own existence and attacks itself is not of Him. He did not make two minds, with Heaven as the glad effect of one, and earth the other's sorry outcome which is Heaven's opposite in every way." (so now we know, heaven and earth are opposites in EVERY way)

And because of this, logically, 100% bulletproof logic, earth therefore DOES NOT EXIST. Because love, which is the same as heaven, has no opposite that exists.

This is a FACT.

However, you can put this fact down in a post or put it in front of someone's face in big letters, saying:

HEAVEN IS LOVE AND HAS NO OPPOSITE, EARTH IS OPPOSITE TO HEAVEN, THEREFORE EARTH DOES NOT EXIST.

You can even put flashing lights around it if you like. And big giant arrows pointing to it. Even a sign that says "this is the truth, learn it well." And maybe even have it make big loud sounds so as many people come to look at it as possible.

But if someone is IN DENIAL... they will not be WILLING to accept this. They may in more extreme cases bawlk at it like some kind of horrendous lie was just told. Or launch into some kind of tirade trying to find holes or redefine words or come up with SOME RATIONALIZATION that seems to suggest, maybe this is not the truth. It is nothing short of the ego defending itself against the truth.

That denial is utterly insane. It is an unwillingness, nothing else. It's got nothing to do with whether the facts are true or not. The facts are true. They are solid. God established them forever. The only problem is, some people will see these facts and STILL, over and over again, DENY that they are true. There is an UNWILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT IT.

That can only mean, the person (their ego) believes something ELSE is true, which they do not want to accept is FALSE. The unwillingness to accept something is FALSE, that you believe is truth, is the whole problem the ego poses for us. It thinks it knows what's true already. It's already decided, because IT wants to decide what ALL truth is instead of accepting it from God. ITS will to CHOOSE what the truth means, the authority problem, is its UNWILLINGNESS to accept God's Will. The facts. And so the ego WILL DENY the truth, until a person chooses to stop being IN DENIAL, and to become WILLING to accept that the truth is true.

The truth is, there is no Earth. Period. This is the meaning of "there is no world". Period. This isn't opinion. The logic of the metaphysics is utterly irrefutable. Jesus agrees with it. Jesus has expressed it. WE are the ones who WANT to deny it.

Denial of the truth really is the only problem we seem to have. It is an UNWILLINGNESS.

And what that means is, we are WILLING AGAINST GOD's WILL, willing with the ego, willing to have a separate will. Our separate will blocks us from accepting God's Will.

So if someone cannot accept this truth, that there is no world, and Earth does not exist AT ALL, it is because they are still rejecting God's Will.

When we become willing, we will be willing to accept. We have to be willing to accept truth in order to accept the atonement. This requires the willingness to put aside willing against God, and to will WITH Him. To carry out His will. Because his will for us is perfect happiness and eternal life. If we will against it, we will be in denial and choosing suffering and unhappiness and mortality's illusion.

We can stay in denial as long as we like. This is how we delay the curriculum. The time you take it is VOLUNTARY because you have FREE WILL. You need to be willing, to accept the truth as IT defines itself, and to align yourself with it, by being willing to let go of your belief that something else is true. No-one can enter heaven without accepting the truth as it is.

REALITY: The entire unlimited expanse of God, and the interior contents of God which he hosts within his being. Everything within it is eternal, permanent, changeless, deathless and unlimited. It can only be KNOWN directly. This does NOT include ANYTHING that is lacking these immortal attributes. Anything impermanent, temporary, changing, attackable, mortal, is not a part of reality and is essentially impossible.

ILLUSION: The seeming OPPOSITE to reality. It is unreal, a dream of mortality, a fiction, untrue, false, a state of denial, and something you made up. Everything within this illusion is false and unreal. This includes all the forms of error, all sin, all sickness and death, all bodies, all planets and galaxies, all physical objects, all of perception - true and false alike, even the real world and the forgiven world.

FALSE PERCEPTION: A view that you have ABOUT something which is an illusion. Any illusion (body, planet, whatever) is NOT recognized for what it actually is. It is thought to be something IT IS NOT. It is a lie about a lie. A double negative. It's the belief that an illusion IS REAL, that false things ARE TRUE, and that the physical world IS GOD. This is what it means to be completely deceived and insane and in a state of sin.

TRUE PERCEPTION: A view that you have ABOUT something which is an illusion, but which entails RECOGNIZING the illusion for what it actually IS, and NOT for what it appears to be. It is illusions seen without deception. It is ACCURATE perception. It is a straight-on honest recognition that an illusory thing is a dream, and is not reality. It OVERLOOKS the illusion by seeing THROUGH its lies, is not deceived by it, and sees BEYOND IT to the light of reality.

THE FORGIVEN WORLD: This is the world of false perception, which is the world of sin, which includes bodies and flesh and bones and planets and galaxies and stars, but viewed from true perception. It is forgiven because ITS LIES are overlooked, its temptations do not work, and its DECEPTION is recognized as something false. It is a complete recognition that the world you made in false perception IS false, and that it IS an illusion, and IS NOT REALITY. This is seen with a LOVING perception, but nevertheless includes the awareness that earth is fundamentally unreal. "A world forgiven cannot last. It was the home of bodies."

THE REAL WORLD: The use of true perception sees PAST or through the forgiven world, OVERLOOKS it (does not see it), and sees beyond it and beyond the body. It looks upon the face of christ in heaven, and so is the use of perception to peer OUTSIDE of the illusory realm. It is therefore an ILLUSION ABOUT HEAVEN, and an image of heaven. It is symbolic of reality, but is not reality itself. It reflects heaven's nature but is once removed. And even the perception of the real world is a dream that will end.

ATONEMENT: Is the same thing as true perception and forgiveness. Atonement, true perception, forgiveness, salvation, etc are all the same thing. They are a SYMBOLIC state which represents heaven's laws and nature. It POINTS TO heaven and asks that you accept heaven's truth. Only heaven's truth is true, and NOTHING ELSE is true. Earth is false and is not true. It is vigilance for the kingdom, that ONLY GOD'S REALITY IS REAL.

HEAVEN: Another term for God's Kingdom or his one son/creation/sonship. It's the collection of souls that God established within his being IN reality. Thus they have all the attributes OF reality, including permanence and immortality. It is the reality that you find yourself waking up into, when you wake up FROM the illusory world of space and time. "Only heaven remains." "Heaven remains your one alternative to the strange world you made (earth)."

EARTH: The false world you made in separating from and opposing reality. It is hosted within spacetime, which is a false belief. Earth depends entirely on both space and time for its three-dimensionality, its keeping its atoms from colliding with each other, and its seeming growth and decay. It is not reality because it has no permanence of any kind. "The time will come when all things visible will have an end." "As the world spins into the nothingness from which it came." Earth seen AS earth is false perception. Earth seen AS the forgiven world, is a recognition of its unreality. Either way earth is opposite to reality.

SPACE: The idea of the total opposite to God's omnipresent reality. God is everywhere and all of him is everywhere. Space was devised as an attack on God, to be opposite to this idea. It is the idea that nothing is whole, the whole is not anywhere, nowhere is whole, nothing is everywhere and everything is nowhere. It is the idea that God who is everything does not exist. And all energy, matter, quantum fields and whatever, depends on it entirely to seem to exist. It is an illusion, and once it goes, the whole physical universe goes with it.

TIME: The idea of a total opposite to God's eternal nature. Eternity tells you that everything always remains the same forever. That you have eternal permanence and can never be changed or decay or be sick or die. That you are always you. Time is the opposite of this. It's the notion that you are not what you were previously, what you used to be is lost, and what you are now is going to be changing into something else. It's the idea of the complete destruction of eternity and that everything must die. It is an attack on God's reality and when time ends everything that grows and changes will be gone forever.

WORLD: This one has some controversy but basically, a world is just some realm or existence, be it a real existence or an imaginary one. The real "world" which God created is his Kingdom of heaven which is the sonship, and nothing else. The world WE made is the illusory world of space and time which houses planets and galaxies and is completely OPPOSITE in its nature to God's world. There are only two worlds. There are not three worlds. There are only true because there are only two logic states - reality and unreality. God's true world is the only truly created world. Our made-up world is a temporary illusory world which God could never even conceive of creating.

The PURPOSE of a "course", is that you TAKE the course, so that you can learn how to do something, and then AFTER you have taken the course, you are now ABLE to do that thing WITHOUT needing the course itself any more. A course in "mind training" trains your mind, so that ONCE TRAINED, your mind is able to DO something it could not do before.

But with ACIM, a lot of our focus is taken up with struggling TO learn the course, arguing about what it even says or means, and believing that to learn it is to understand what it says. We're fixated on and lost in the pages instead of USING it to undo the NEED for it.

The whole POINT of it though is to TURN YOU INTO A MIRACLE WORKER. And having GRADUATED from the course, you should then be able to perform miracles and be a teacher of God like Jesus.

We spent a lot of time being hung up with the words, what it says what it means, what the metaphysics are, the implications, taking it like a kind of philosophical study, sometimes using it, applying it, as if applying it or doing the lessons is the PURPOSE of the course. But the purpose of the lessons etc is change your mind to get it into a state WHERE you are THEN able to USE what you have learned.

The lessons teach you something and then LATER you USE what has been taught. And yet people get so hung up on the idea that the lessons themselves, or applying the principles, IS the whole course. Well, within the context of the course itself yes, but the whole purpose of even doing this "mind training" is so that you END UP with a trained mind that CAN ACCOMPLISH something.

We shouldn't get so hung up on the course ITSELF. It's there for a reason to serve as a tool and mechanism to guide and direct us and give us tools to work on our minds and heal our hearts. But that's only within the context of "learning it", ie taking the curriculum. Once you get past the course, so to speak, or you graduate from it, you then are in a position to really USE it consistently AS a miracle worker. That was the whole point of taking it, to FINISH IT, and move on.

Like if you were spending 4 years in college or whatever learning how to be a car mechanic, you don't spend the rest of your life in college learning how to be a mechanic. You go BE one. You take what you learned, you rely on your training, and you USE it to accomplish things you could not do at the beginning.

A Course in Miracles is no different. It's a course in learning how to perform miracles to help those who are less able. If you are just aiming to spend your whole life in a love-affair with its words or dwelling on what it says and how it's written then you are STUCK in the classroom not wanting to go out into the big wide world and "get a job" as a miracle worker. The course is meant to be GRADUATED FROM at some point. You're not meant to become a "lifer" who just dwells on it all the time. Put the wheels on the car and make it go!

"Forget this world, forget this course, and come with wholly empty hands unto your God."

"This course is a beginning, not an end. Your Friend goes with you. You are not alone."

It is just a device with a single, fixed function. It does what it was designed to do, like a machine. It can't be upgraded or changed or transformed into something more spiritual.

Like an old car, the fact is, at some point you have to just admit that the car is old and broken and it's time to let it go. It simply can no longer provide the function that you want it to provide. The ego is the same.

When you realize that the ego is just a fixed device, that means that you know letting it go is the only way to be free of it. You actually have a choice of whether to USE the ego device or not.

The device itself does not have any power over you. It can't stop you. It can only do what it does. It can create the illusions it was designed to create, which you might be convinced by, and that may indeed "stop you", but if you recognize these illusions and see that they are just a part of this ego thing, and not your self, then your self is free to choose again - free to step aside, put the ego device down, and let it go.

The ego can do absolutely nothing about this. It cannot stop you from waking up. It cannot act against your will or against the function it was designed to fulfill. It can only do what the ego was meant to do, and that is to paint a picture which is false and to pretend that it is true. If you no longer have a USE for that, and no longer see any PURPOSE in it, and it is no longer what you WANT, you will just put it down and stop using it.

You are free to choose again. You are free to drop the ego entirely. There is no power in all of existence that can stop you. There is no-one and no alien will capable of preventing you from waking up. The ONLY person or will that seems able to stop you from waking up is YOU, and the only way you can act against yourself in that way is when you choose to keep USING the ego and to keep denying that you have total freedom, total power, total choice, and that you are not in any way a victim of this ego thing.

To admit the truth is to admit that the ego is nothing but something you were using for a purpose. To admit the truth is to admit that your sickness was only put in place by you on purpose to defend you against admitting to your freedom. To admit the truth is to admit your upset and anger and retaliation against the attacks of others was only there to serve the purpose of you getting rid of your belief in sin, which was part of your belief in the ego being real. And to admit the truth is to own up to and accept the fact that, in truth, YOU ARE NOT LIMITED OR BOUND BY ILLUSIONS.

Literally, no-one is keeping you asleep. No-one is stopping you from being with God. No-one is keeping you imprisoned. No-one has power over you. No-one can stop you. There is nothing you cannot do. YOU ARE FREE! To believe otherwise, to be bound by illusions, to be caused to die, to be sick and suffer, to be incapable of performing miracles, to be unable to manipulate any of the ego's illusions, is to continue to USE the ego and to fail to recognize the whole truth of what you are. You are not an illusion but a reality.

You are completely 100% free of the ego if you choose to be so. And then it has absolutely no power over you, this entire world is at your command, and you are immortal.

It's interesting how Jesus redefines the meaning of words. It means that when you first read something He says, you might "read into" its meaning based on the meaning of words that you already have, and therefore not understand what He's saying.

Example: "death".

Jesus clearly says that the entire dream of separation is a dream of death.

Jesus clearly says that even a slight amount of unhappiness or grievance is a state of death.

Jesus clearly says that all forms of sickness are "a little death."

Jesus clearly says that the separation idea was an attempt to oppose God's will and to be totally opposite to His creation. His creation is life, so this is an idea of death.

Jesus says death is the central dream from which all illusions stem, AND that the last illusion to be overcome - really the ENTIRE illusion, is death.

Jesus clearly says that all things which seem like "life forms" in this world only have an appearance of life at best, and death at worst.

Jesus clearly says that there is no life outside of heaven, so anything outside of heaven is technically "death".

Jesus also clearly says that without the idea of death, there is no world.

It goes on and on. So what must be happening here is, Jesus is using the word "death" to refer to things that ACTUALLY ARE death, in that they are opposite to or opposed to what is ACTUALLY life. But WE did not previously understand these things to BE death.

So it's like, we do not RECOGNIZE what death IS, or the various states and forms that death takes. We haven't recognized that even a slight grievance is an idea of murder ("what is not love is murder".). We haven't recognized that sickness is death, or that the world is death, or that without death there is no planet Earth, or that this world is entirely MADE OF the idea of death, without which there is no world here at all.

So Jesus doesn't so much use meanings and terms with the definition we're familiar with. Nor does he necessarily use dictionary definitions. He basically teaches us WHAT HIS definition is, and his definition is in line with what is ACTUALLY TRUE, rather than what we've THOUGHT was true. e.g. Death is not just "what happens when a body dies."

So that means we have to UN-LEARN what we've taught ourselves and open ourselves up to learning what Jesus is teaching us is the "correct recognition" of what something is. If we don't do that, and we maintain EGO definitions for things, such as that death is only a body in the ground, and that a pre-death state of sickness and suffering "has no death in it", then we are now mistaken and deceived by appearances.

Jesus does the same thing with various other terms as well, because what He's trying to teach us is the TRUTH rather than our strange twisted and distorted interpretations. We have a big problem with not RECOGNIZING the truth, OR recognizing illusions, OR recognizing this world for what it is. We don't even recognize that we're dreaming and that everything we see here is an illusion.

So we have to go through a process of learning and redefining and letting go and opening up and allowing ourselves to receive a new outlook on life, a new way of regarding what's going on here, and learn to see it all from Holy Spirit's perspective. And that's going to have to entail realizing that we've been mistaken, illusions we thought were real are not real, and the truth about this world is not what we thought it was.

"Every symptom which the ego has made involves a contradiction in terms."

"How strange indeed becomes this war against yourself!"

The ego does not take one side. The ego takes all sides, and pits them all against each other. It pretends to be on one team, while simultaneously being on the other team. It plays the part of both victim and its own victimizer. It attacks itself.

The ego is the idea of self attack, self denial, inner conflict, a split-mindedness. It is a state of being "in two minds", undecided and certain of nothing. It is a state of disassociation, in which there literally seem to be two halves or selves, one against the other. It represents a divided will, where one part of mind wills against the other.

In all wars, all conflicts, all arguments, all political debates, all fights between teams and nations, every form of taking sides, and all the various ways that we buy into the illusion that one person is ego and another is not, the ego delights in playing both parties off against each other.

It does not care who wins anything. It does not care whether one side is victorious while the other suffers. All it cares about is that it is perpetuated and persists because it has attacked and destroyed part of self, leaving only part left as victor, who must therefore suffer being less than whole.

The ego will happily attack itself provided some portion of it remains. It will side with something which seems good, positive, uplifting and true, provided to side with it permits a sacrifice where the "rest" of what is denied, hated, repelled and rejected is regarded as not self.

The ego split mind is divided into persona and shadow. The person is the part that is kept in conscious awareness and seems to allow and accept only that which it thinks is good enough - and nothing is good enough. Systematically it strips away portions of your self, deeming them unworthy and imperfect, relegating them to the unconscious shadow portion of mind. It is never satisfied, prompting you to put on a facade of perfection in order to truly destroy everything about you that you cannot accept. That which seems so innocent and holy is murderous.

Self attack takes on many forms and all of them are deceptive. If you buy into one such appearance and think, this person is a hero or savior, while this other person is guilty and a sinner, you have fallen for the trick. The ego is BOTH OF THEM. And it has no problem attacking itself in order to perpetuate the illusion that there is a *separation* between the two. That they are not the same identity or the same self. That is its aim. To split the mind and emphasize the differences.

It does not want people forgiving each other and seeing each other as equals. It wants war not peace. It has no interest or care as to whether you win or someone else wins. It couldn't care less if you are right or someone else is. All it's interested in that that rift between the two is increased, differences are amplified, the gap increases, and equality is lost.

If you play the game, if you take sides, if you buy into the illusion that one is a sinner and another innocent, you have fallen for its tricks. You have bought into separation. Only when you can see you and your brother as being in the same boat, as both striving toward the same goal, and recognize that the EGO is the third party here, the enemy, who would come between you and drive you apart, then you can join forces to agree NOT to attack each other, so that the EGO will disappear and not each other.

There was a situation in which something went wrong, but there wasn't any evidence whatsoever that the person involved caused it to happen. It seemed like there was no way they could've caused it. I noticed that as a result, I did not and could not project guilt onto that person. If I could find no grounds for believing that they were guilty somehow, I couldn't turn them into a scapegoat. I did not get angry at them at all.

I found that interesting, because it's not just that we automatically scapegoat someone when we perceive that they are the cause of a problem, we also DON'T scapegoat them when the "proof of sin" is missing.

Our ego reactions to stuff and whether or not we USE it for projection of guilt, seems to depend very much on what we perceive as happening and the fact that we BELIEVE what we see.

If there is evidence, externally, in terms of form, or bodies, or objects, or anything tangible that we can put our finger on, the ego can and will jump in and USE it for projection. It's almost like a trigger. The presence of this "sinful thing" in the environment is picked up on by the senses and the ego and it automatically reacts to it with an attack. BUT, if the stimuli is not there, it DOESN'T tend to do this.

This reveals just how much we can be so totally dependent upon what we're perceiving as "existing" or "happening" in the world. How much we're allowing the world and its states to DICTATE whether or not we are AFFECTED. That we can only seem to HAVE certain reactions when the world PRODUCES certain scenarios. And when it doesn't we don't seem to have these reactions.

Isn't it weird then that we not only get triggered and pushed into ego reactions when the external world SAYS WE SHOULD, we also fail to have any reaction at all when the world SAYS WE SHOULDN'T.

Solely because I could find no evidence "in the world" as to a certain person being the cause of sin, and was DEPENDING ON the world and LISTENING TO IT, therefore, I could not seem to get myself to be angry at them. There was nothing to latch onto. There was nothing to use. This doesn't mean, however, that I don't have an ego, or that my ego wouldn't scapegoat at the next opportunity. It's just that we seem to WAIT FOR the world to fuck up before we have a reaction to it, instead of being proactive.

This reveals how much we're at the EFFECT of the world, allowing it to tell us WHEN we should be upset, and WHEN we should be happy. It presents lulls in the storm and breaks in the conflict, during which we seem to NOT have reactions. Why don't we have reactions all the time? Why don't we constantly launch into massive fear responses? Because the hierarchy of illusions tells us it's NOT A BAD SITUATION. Just as much as the same hierarchy then goes on to tell us that such-and-such a situation IS worth being upset about and is very serious.

If for example a situation arises where something in the world seems terrible wrong, I WILL much more likely have a reaction. It may even induce a panic. And this reaction will be in proportion to the sense of severity or seriousness or importance or value of the problem. Bigger problems elicit a LOT more fear. Smaller problems elicit a lot LESS. The seeming LACK of problems produces an illusion of peace, in which I seem to think everything is going well. Until the next calamity, which the world certainly has in store in endless supply.

How do we get off this rollercoaster ride of always having reactions to the ups and downs of the world? Why CAN'T I scapegoat when there is no reason to, just as much as when there's a juicy opportunity to pounce on? Why when someone has clearly done nothing at all is it so hard to project guilt? And why when they seem to have done something awful is it so easy? Why do we RELY ON the world to INFORM US of what is true?

Recently quite a "serious thing" happened and I had a strong visceral reaction. In fact I pretty much went into an anxiety attack. This came out of nowhere, but it was in relation to "how serious" I thought the situation was. I bought into the hierarchy of illusions and had the appropriate amount of drama about it. Right on cue, just as the world says I should, and entirely reflective of what I believed to be the importance of the situation. It seemed unavoidable. It seemed AUTOMATIC and mindless. And there seemed to be nothing I could do to stop it once I'd bought into it.

But somehow there has to be a way to live that isn't DRIVEN by the world and its images, BASED ON its illusions and its forms, its happenings and its dangers. It has to be possible somehow to NOT BUY INTO the heirarchy and to not USE the world as a FORM OF TRUSTED PROOF about anything. Just because the world or the ego or the body says "this is really serious you should be very concerned", we have to find a way to NOT be "appropriately concerned". To not GET our truth FROM the world.

How about laughing at it instead? How about laughing in the face of death, or laughing when someone is hurt, or laughing when people are crying their eyes out? Like... how can we disconnect from the automatic chain-reaction of "world says you should feel this now"? Or rather, that my belief about what it MEANS and my judgement of what it IS, BASED ON ITS FORM, dictates what I believe is true and the consequences that will come from it.

It's me who has apparently decided what everything means, including good stuff, and including bad stuff. And all of these meanings should apparently be WRONG, ie a mistake. Because if there is really NO order of difficulty in miracles and the hierarchy of illusions is actually FLAT AND EQUAL, then it should make NO difference whatsoever what happens, it should not have ANY effect to change who I am or what I experience. Unless I am TRUSTING MY SENSES and basing my TRUTH on the world's current STATE.

That's where the real challenge comes in. Because now we're talking about practically IGNORING how situations look, IGNORING appearances, IGNORING meanings that I make up, IGNORING what the world would say is a very good or bad situation, IGNORING the body, IGNORING sickness, IGNORING terrible difficult tragic threatening dangers, and somehow transcending them so that peace and happiness become a CONSTANT. And getting my truth from ANOTHER WORLD.

How to get off the rollercoaster of death, that's the big question. How to not be affected by the world. How to not USE OR ALLOW the world or any events or happenings to influence me in ANY WAY, and to operate solely in a proactively DELIBERATE manner. How to be free of suffering forever, and how to never forget to laugh at the illusion of hell ever again. Nor GIVE MY POWER AWAY TO IT or allow it to have the power to TELL ME what I should be feeling.

"The world perceives orders of difficulty in EVERYTHING. This is because the ego perceives nothing as wholly desirable. By DEMONSTRATING to yourselves that THERE IS NO ORDER OF DIFFICULTY IN MIRACLES, you will convince yourselves that in your NATURAL state there IS no difficulty, because it is a state of Grace."

"The illusion of orders of difficulty is an obstacle the teacher of God must learn to pass by and leave behind."

"The first chaotic law is that the truth is different for everyone. Like all these principles, this one maintains that each is separate, and has a different set of thoughts which SETS HIM OFF from others. This principle evolves from the belief there is a hierarchy of illusions; some are MORE valuable, and THEREFORE true. And each establishes this FOR HIMSELF, and MAKES it true by his attack on what another values."

"All that a hierarchy of illusions can show is PREFERENCE, NOT reality."

Lately I'm noticing more and more often, I just don't want to blame. I'm believing in "real sin" less and less.

I didn't see this coming, and it's not that I've been deliberately working on not being blameful. But I'm starting to see why this makes sense.

When I blame, I am believing that there is some "other" that's not me, that I'm finding responsible for some kind of guilt or sin. This so-called other is actually a part of my own self which I split off in my mind and attack. This attack seems to cause a hallucinated projection onto other people, in which the disassociation from the "conscious" part of my mind makes it seem like it's all to do with someone else.

But the truth is that my attack is actually coming from me, and it is going TO me. And in fact, I am not even really attacking anyone else at all. I think I am, but I'm not.

In the ego's thought system of denial, it really does seem like it is not only possible to find someone else guilty for our own belief in our own sinfulness, but that they can receive ALL of the blame and we receive none of it. We actually think we can scapegoat someone and make them wrong and find them guilty and that this has NO effect on ourselves whatsoever. i.e. Do unto others as you would NOT have them do unto you.

This is of course a complete illusion. While it persists, we go around blaming people because we think that we CAN, as a viable "option" for getting rid of our own sinfulness. Introducing a separation between cause and effect, we think we can be free of the effects and responsibilities of our sin, and someone else can take the hit. And we want to make especially sure that the separation between both is strong so as to be strongly convinced no nasty effects are going to leak back onto ourselves.

But what has to dawn on our mind is not only that we are responsible for 100% of what we are experiencing, but also that everything that has happened we have therefore done to ourselves, and therefore there ARE no causes outside of us, and thus there are no grounds for blame.

This also reveals to the mind that while it thought it was capable of attacking someone "else" with no effects on itself, it actually WAS attacking itself. At first it will think that it was attacking both itself and others, but then it will also dawn that it was in fact ONLY attacking itself. In our egos we live in private worlds of self-attack, at war with ourselves, in our split mind with multiple personalities. It doesn't even really involved anyone else at all, we just pretend it does. When we are willing to become aware that we are ONLY doing it to ourselves, then a whole new kind of experience starts to emerge. This is what's starting to happen to me now.

I am getting this feeling that I just don't WANT to blame people for anything. I haven't deliberately been trying to stop blaming as such, it's just sort of emerging. Some part of me seems to be aware that if I blame, in the act of blame, there is an attack and that *I* actually receive at least some of the effects of that attack. It's not true that the other person is 100% separated from me, and it's not true that they are really guilty. If I am being responsible, it MUST mean that I am doing this to myself and am attacking myself.

So each time I go to scapegoat, i.e. pretend that I even CAN scapegoat, I'm starting to learn or realize that the "blame" is ACTUALLY from myself, to myself, and I WILL experience effects from that. I am becoming aware of those effects, rather than being unconscious of it. And the fact is, outside of denial, this self attack HURTS ME. I do not want to keep hurting myself. It is a natural response, really.

If you could be aware that you can ONLY do anything to yourself, and that if you attack, YOU will be the one who gets ALL of the effects, you would not attack.

It is only because we've been unconscious and split in our mind and believing that there is an "other" that all of the responsibility can be given to (disowning of self), that we even CONCEIVE of the idea of displacing blame onto this "other". Or even that doing so might cause us to NOT be experiencing the effects of the sin. It is only because of DENIAL that it even seems possible that this would be helpful in alleviating guilt.

So while I am in denial and am being dishonest and irresponsible and believing that i am really sinful, I'm going to be really compelled to try to split myself off from that and project it somewhere. But the truth is, I'm not escaping it. Self-attack is self-attack. Nobody else is even being attacked by me at all, so it's not even as though there is this motivation to "be nice to other people". My self-attack has NOTHING to do with anyone else at all, and in truth, NOBODY receives any effects from it. No real effects anyway.

So it's not even as though I'm doing this out of GUILT in relation to trying to be kinder to others. That would actually be a form of self sacrifice which is ego. Instead, it's just the natural dawning of AWARENESS, that because I am responsible, I literally AM doing unto MYSELF as I would have MYSELF do unto me. I am attacking myself, and it is my belief that I am really sinful that is the root of this attack.

So as we have the courage to look at our own belief in our own sinfulness, in the idea of "real sin", and are finding some genuine healing atonement for this, it seems like the truth that we are only attacking ourselves becomes more obvious. I just am becoming aware that if I attack, *I* will feel hurt, and I just don't want to feel that anymore. I don't want to keep finding myself sinful, because now it's not a game of whether or not anyone else is being forgiven (you cannot forgive anyone other than yourself, and there is no need to!), it's a game between me and myself now and how I want to be towards myself.

I don't want to blame others, because I don't want to blame myself, because I don't want to keep finding myself sinful and guilty. I am just losing interest in it. It hurts to hurt myself. I don't want that. This is how my interests become shared interests with others. This is what leads to literally doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, which really means, you are DOING LOVE to others BECAUSE you love yourself. You cannot really do anything to others unless it IS love, because everything else is really self attack.

So it's funny but, in situations where I would've gone right into blame and accusation and scapegoating, I just can't seem to believe my own bullshit anymore. I know its dishonest and irresponsible and denial and not true that it's anyone else's fault. Nobody has done anything to me. No-one is the cause of my upset. I am choosing it. I'm doing this to myself. And I want to stop doing that. I want to recognize my true innocence, and learn to love myself again.

Surrendering to self-love shared with God. I am worthy because in the atonement, it is true that I have not really done anything real, and therefore am still innocent. Accepting that produces a justification to love yourself.

Our opinions don't mean anything at all. They are absolutely worthless. It doesn't matter what your truth is or what my truth is or what anyone's truth is. It's all bullshit. An opinion is the delusional voice of the ego.

In attempting to express what we think is right or true, we actually are covering up the truth. We are replacing the truth with a viewpoint of what we want the truth to be. These expressions of "my truth", which come across as "this is what the truth is", are actually censorship of real truth.

Then there are those who say that everyone's truth is different or unique and to have your own truth. That's insanity. And then there are those who say no-one knows or can know the truth - not quite true - you CAN know the truth, it's just that hardly anyone is willing and we've become expert at obscuring it.

More and more I see that the truth - as God - simply 'is'. There is absolutely nothing we can do to change or define what it is. It can either be accepted, or denied, but nothing else.

We don't get to decide what God is. We don't get to decide what reality is. We don't get to decide what is true or false. We don't get to decide who we are. We don't get to decide where we came from or what our characteristics are. We don't get to decide God's will for Him. And we don't get to change God in any way. We also don't really get to be separate from God or have our own separate existence or "my life" that I've taken possession and control over.

"There is no life outside of Heaven" - ACIM

"I am as God Created me." - ACIM

"Only the truth is true." - ACIM

Fortunately for us, the gift that God has given us is so perfect and amazing that we couldn't really want for anything else, and nothing else is better for us. It is an absolute blessing and an act of grace. We should be overjoyed to accept what He has deemed us worthy of.

The truth is fixed. It is permanent. It doesn't change. God doesn't change. And no matter what anyone's opinion is, no matter what my opinion is, it's not going to change the truth.

It is actually insane to insist that I or anyone knows what the truth is IF it is not actually aligned with what the truth is. It is, however, sane to know the truth when it is clear and correct and in full acceptance of what the truth actually is.

The more that I allow Jesus and Holy Spirit to express through me, with less censorship and less desire to change what they say, the more "raw" their message becomes. The more completely blunt and unhidden and direct and factual it becomes. I see myself wanting to cover things up and not say some things and not be so brutally honest but they urge me to stop saving face and let the raw truth out.

I expect Jesus to have some kind of persona or way of softening the blow, but He is just like.... in your face! This is what the truth is, boom... take it or leave it. Totally exposed and out in the open with nothing to hide and no attempt to cover anything up.

If something is true and we try to avoid it or deny it or reject it or cover it up or disbelieve it or try to make something else true in order to claim it is false, we're being nothing but arrogant and we have an authority problem.

It's not going to matter whatsoever whether someone claims to know the true version of ACIM or any other teaching, or not. The truth is true. It can only be what it is and it can only be experienced "as-is". The truth itself will be the true measure of who is correct or not - you could call that "judgement day" in a symbolic kind of way. The truth knows what the truth is. The rest of us just get to accept it or attempt to block it and pretend we know better.

But this at least means that the truth is accessible, and you can accept it, and if you are willing to accept it you can align with it and it can be shared with God. Truth is sharing. But you can't have an isolated truth of your own. Isolation is not sharing and puts you into a private world where your own opinion seems to mean something. Your opinion doesn't mean anything at all.

God knows.

God just is, like it or not.

God has given His Creation. He has created us. He has shared everything with us. He has defined what we are forever. The course says something like - think not that you can improve upon Heaven, you cannot add anything to the truth that is more valuable than what it already contains.

We literally therefore must SURRENDER to the truth, lay down everything we want to believe that opposes or blocks or changes it, and simply allow it, accept it.

Related to this, when A Course in Miracles begins it says "This is A Course in Miracles, it is a REQUIRED COURSE." Do you think Jesus is being factual, literal, and absolutely truthful? It is a required course because it is part of God's plan for awakening, and what God says goes. It is inescapable. We have a curriculum for awakening and we must take it and we will take it. It is God's will. you can't avoid it. You can't pretend there is some other completely separate path that doesn't include the curriculum somehow.

The metaphysics of the truth as laid out in the Course is completely true. There are steps in awakening. There are things you have to admit to. You have to learn to admit to the real truth - not a truth that one book says or another argues with. The experiential factual real LIVING truth. You can deny it all you want but you cannot change it or define it. Other pathways may also lead to God but only if they include the same factual real truth.

This is why the "only" path to God is really A Course in Miracles, or to put it another way, it's not the form of the Course but.. "the course" is the "divine curriculum" which is "required" no matter what form your path takes or what materials you use or what books or what teachers. All paths - all forms of paths - lead to God, but some obscure it more than others. You cannot wake up without taking the one curriculum, either directly or inadvertently. And you can be an ACIM student and avoid the curriculum for a long time. ;;-)

This leads me to a different but related point.

I was asking Jesus about how I can possibly accept that someone is sick. If acceptance of the truth is so important, surely I would be better off not resisting the fact that someone is sick? Surely I would be more at peace if I stop fighting with the sickness? Can it be possible that I can come to a complete acceptance of and allowance of that sickness?

Jesus said no. How can I accept something that is false? Jesus speaks of His inability to tolerate the absence of truth in himself or others, and asks us to join Him in the great crusade to correct error in everyone. "As you share my unwillingness to accept error in yourself and others, you must join the great crusade to correct it; listen to my voice, learn to undo error and act to correct it. The power to work miracles belongs to you." - ACIM

I cannot accept someone being sick because the sickness isn't real. I can't simultaneously believe that it is real and be at peace. I can accept that they really DO NOT have sickness. I can accept that they are NOT sick. I can accept that they are One with the truth, in truth. But the sickness, the illusion of sickness, it is intolerable IF it is real. Fortunately it is not real, and that is what can be accepted. But then ... Love compels a desire to perform miracles.

"How can I help?"

There is one reference to "vertical perception" in ACIM, as part of miracle principle 41. Jesus says:

"41. The miracle is a learning device which lessens the need for time. The sudden shifts from horizontal to vertical perception which the miracle entails introduces an interval from which the doer and the receiver both emerge much farther along in time than they would otherwise have been."

So he introduces this idea that there is a horizontally oriented way of perceiving, and a vertical way. The horizontal way is what you don't want, and the vertical way is what you should be trying to shift towards. But what are these two ways of perceiving?

Let's start by saying the world doesn't exist yet. You are designing a new world inside a computer. You're using some 3D software to model forms and objects and are placing them in a scene. Your intention is to create a 3D holographic movie of various CGI scenes, in which anything goes.

As far as you are concerned, as the director and editor, it's a level playing field. There are no inherent rules or laws as to what is possible or what can happen. There are no laws of physics set up. There are no limitations. Your imagination can run wild.

So you start designing this environment, composed of what seem to be models of objects - cars, buildings, bodies etc. But simply by putting them in the scene, nothing happens. They just sit there. Nothing causes anything. There are no consequences. There are no laws. There are no forces of repulsion or gravity or collisions between things. Objects can exist in the same space overlapping even. There are no chemical reactions. No biological processes.

From this perspective, which we'll call "vertical" or "above the battlefield", you are in a position of vertical causality. The level you are on is ABOVE the level of the world you're making below. Whatever you decide, happens. So if you decide to move one of the models of a car, the car moves. It can't move on its own. But moving it doesn't do anything. There are no effects or limits. You can even move one car to overlap another car, without anything happening. But let's say you want to make it SEEM as if there is a car crash. What do you do?

Well, you're first going to have to CAUSE there to be a scene with two cars in it. You're going to have to cause the two cars to SEEM to move. They will not be moving as a result of having an engine, that's just a pretend engine "for show". Your mind is going to determine where the cars are. You can even pick up the cars and plonk them down somewhere else, or make them float in the air, with no regard for any laws of physics. So you deliberately move both cars in what appears to be a direction towards each other, on a fake road, pretending they are "driving" and making "broom boom" sounds like children at play.

When the cars approach and seem like they should "crash", nothing's going to happen. They'll pass through each other. So you have make up some fictional "laws of physics". You make up some rules which suggest, when this car touches the other car, it will SEEM as if they push into each other, "causing" a crash. One car might be thought of as SEEMING to "cause the crash". But this is entirely illusory. It's on purpose. The car does nothing. The mind that causes EVERYTHING about the car, causes what seems to be the crash.

The director - the true causer - is deciding that car A will crash into car B. And the director also has to deliberately model the way car B will deform to make it LOOK AS IF car A's impact caused bodily damage. So when you now "play the scene", it's going to SEEM as if it's an animation in which the two cars move towards each other on a road - under their seeming own power - not seeing the hidden hand of the director - and collide. Car B seems to become damaged, and it looks like car A was the cause. But it's just an illusion. Everything that happens is orchestrated from above. Did you fall for it?

You know better. You know that NEITHER of the cars has any causal power. You know from this vertical position, looking down on the whole scene from above, as the director, who can pull all the strings and change anything at will, even changing or breaking the laws of physics, that it's NOT TRUE OR REAL that car A crashes into car B. But based on appearances, viewed through a camera (the body's eyes), it SEEMS as if car A causes damage to car B. The camera frames the scene just right to make it seem believable.

This is because when you look at the scene through the camera, which ONLY looks at the **end result** of the director's work, the body's eyes do NOT see that the entire scene is fabricated, they do NOT see that if the director so chooses the car will not be damaged, they do NOT see that there are strings being pulled to create the ILLUSION of laws of physics, and they do NOT see that the movement of both cars is being orchestrated by the ACTUAL CAUSE, the mind. All the laws of physics are EFFECTS, not causes.

Even the damage to car B cannot occur without the higher level mind causing it. It is NOT caused by car A. The illusion that car A has causal power is AN ILLUSION! It's "causality" is ONCE REMOVED from what the REAL cause is. And taken at face value, the body is "blinded by perception of form" and appearances, not looking past them and not seeing the trickery and lies that are producing this illusion. And so it is tempted and deceived by what it sees.

So at the level of the world, which is the scene containing the objects, viewed through the body as the camera, looking at the props and taking them to be not only real but the FIRST ORIGIN OF CAUSALITY, your body assumes there is no other cause that CAME BEFORE, no prior or higher cause, no bigger picture, no author, no orchestration of the world, no secret agenda, no plot to deceive, and just takes it at face value. It thinks then that the car ITSELF had causal power. And now there's reason to blame the car for "causing it".

Seeing the scene this way, is what we call FALSE PERCEPTION. The entire physical world IS FALSE. All the objects are false. ALL the laws of physics are false. ALL of it is a lie. It's a movie set. Every apparent "horizontal causality", where it seems something on this level in the world CAUSES something, or is the true origin or chooser of something, creates the illusion that the world has real consequences, causal power, makes things happen on its own, and isn't being run by a deeper, hidden author.

The DREAMER - the director of all things that happen - goes unnoticed and hidden behind the scenes. He is the cause of the "causes" in the world. He is the one deciding that all objects move. He is the one making up the laws. HE is the one deciding what SEEMS to affect what. HE makes both the causes and the effects that we see as being on the same level. He orchestrates all events and has power OVER everything.

He can also BREAK all the laws and consistencies and illusions of the world through his seemingly "miraculous" freedom and transcending of all illusions. He can rewrite the world. He can make mountains move in an instant. He can reverse death. He can make a pretend body seem to walk on pretend water, as if gravity were total nonsense. He MADE UP gravity, and is not bound by it. He MADE what we call sickness and death, and can ABOLISH both. He is the director. He has the power to dominate all things in the world. There is NOTHING his holiness cannot do. His mind has the power to make WORLDS appear!

To those on the horizontally perceiving level, who are living within the context of ASSUMING the world is real and causal, when the awakened dreamer - a miracle worker - decides to CHANGE the dream in a way that BREAKS the normal order and laws, having shifted into vertical perception, and EXPRESSING a vertical causality, SEEMS to be doing things which are "impossible".

He seems to be breaking the laws of physics. He's walking on water, he's multiplying objects, he's cancelling death, he's curing all sickness, he's moving mountains with his mind, and seems completely unlimited by anything in the world. To those asleep, he appears miraculous. Yet he is just being natural. He is in touch with the power to cause and choose, under NO LAWS but God's. Those fixated on the body's world see him as OUTSIDE what's possible. He breaks their reality. And they do not understand how he can do this.

When you are believing everything the body sees, which is an illusion, the illusory world of form, you are having "horizontal perception". It's the same thing as false perception. And everything in the world, all objects, all laws, are what you see when you are only looking through the camera which was designed on purpose to NOT SEE the secret behind-the-scenes activities. The body fixates only on the story, the appearance, and the illusion. The end result or effect. The dream. "Only the body makes the world seem real."

To horizontal perception, ie false perception, everything in the world seems to be lined up side by side. Like in a crowd of people. All horizontally spaced out. And so if one of the bodies is sick, and dies, the appearance is that not only is the sickness and death "reality", there is also a strong BELIEF IN (being deceived by) these appearances. The divisions between things make the body's appearances seem very tangible and pronounced. Differences are emphasized, so as to blind you to the deeper truth.

Someone operating on the level of false perception believes that sickness is real, death really happens, the world is dangerous, people sin in bodies, stuff is attackable, there are causes to be afraid of, we are victimized by the world, and are at the effect of the world. To them, the FORM of differences are very strongly deceptive, bodies all seem different, problems seem different, and the world is highly fragmented. What the body sees is believed. And then all kinds of coping strategies arise from that perception of horrors.

To move into "vertical perception" ie true perception, you're not merely going upwards above the battlefield and still perceiving in a horozontal way, you're moving OUTSIDE of horizontal causality and seeing from an entirely different perspective. Outside of the laws of space and time and physics. You're lifting up out of the illusory world, the story, the fictional movie. You're taking your perception OUT of the role of "character in a dream", and becoming aware that YOU ARE THE DREAMER. You are that one who MADE the world, made the bodies, made the planets, and invented all the laws. And you recognize you have been "doing it to yourself" - which is the secret of salvation.

You made up bodies, made up a world, made up laws, made up scenarios, forgot who you were, believed YOUR MOVIE was orchestrating YOUR life, that your scene had causal power over you, that you were now a character IN the movie, a body - the hero of the dream, and thought the dream was happening to "you". You lost touch with your vertical causality, the fact you are directing the whole thing from above, and that you are under NO LAWS BUT GOD's!

Your "miraculous" freedom FROM all causality and laws on the horizontal level, allows you to perform "miracles" - or rather, expressions of vertical causality, which BREAK AND DEFY these "second hand" "once removed" causes. Illusions of causes and illusions of laws are nothing to a miracle worker, who recognizes there is no order of difficulty because ALL of the lower orders are at YOUR effect, including what seem to be causes. You are free from all limitations. The hierarchy of illusion is FLAT to you. ALL illusions are the same. Raising the dead is no harder than healing a headache.

From the higher vantage point of vertical perception, looking down on the WHOLE scene from above, the distracting ILLUSION of appearances is SEEN THROUGH. The spiritual eye, Christ vision, looks PAST the movie set. It sees all the props and cameramen and sound crew. It reads between the lines. It sees the glue holding the scene together. It sees the light of the room in which the movie is being edited.

It does not BELIEVE FOR A MOMENT anything that the appearance of the movie would say is true. It doesn't even buy that physical objects are even really there. It pays no attention to appearances of form, shapes, colors, sizes, distances, weights, laws, or supposed differences of any kind. It has the VISION to SEE the WHOLE scene, including all hidden parts and mechanisms and trickery. It recognizes it is all an illusion. It is not DECEIVED by anything at the level of the world. Vertical perception is inclusive, horizontal perception is exclusive.

Mind is cause. World is effect/dream. Mind being causal is vertically positioned above the world. Everything below, in the world, is an illusion of horizontal causality. Nothing about the world is TRUE. Believing it is false perception. When you are in true perception you do not REGISTER the illusions of differences between things. Bodies are not separate. Objects are not real. There is a subtle connectedness that you didn't see before. A light which sparkles between things. A glue which you become aware of. A sparkling unity and sameness that seems to be behind everything.

A vertically perceived world is a forgiven world. Being aware of ALL the information about the scene is awareness of the real world. You cease to project sin and guilt and fear and death onto the scene. These arise only from false perceptions. You don't see it from a horizontal vantage point. You ignore the eyes of the body. You know that nothing in the world is real, so nothing is sick, and nothing is dying, and everything is one thing.

You see death as not an end, at the end of a horizontal linear sequence, but as a dipping DOWN from a higher level to a lower level perception. As an immersion into falseness. And from above, you know death is TOTAL FICTION. Just some arrangement of fake particles that you DECIDED you would call death. Which can easily be rearranged and reanimated if you so choose. It's totally fake. Actors in a movie do not die when their character dies.

Here, above the battlefield, you know you cannot die. You are the author of the world. You are not a body. You are not the story. You make the rules. You can break them. And nothing in the world has any bearing on anything real. Death is now vertically no longer seen as an interruption, but as merely another form of objects on par with all others. Just an effect you have power over. You can choose not to make it happen.

Dead bodies, living bodies, they are all illusions. They have NO inherent meaning. The world has no inherent meaning. You give it all the meaning it has when you design it, projecting made-up stories onto it. The world is nothing but fiction. You are not bound or limited by any of it. You are free. The director of a movie is not bound by ANYTHING that seems to happen. And edits can be made at any time. You have power over the world, because you are its cause.

"W-pI.190.5. It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. 2 Nothing external to your mind (horizontal) can hurt or injure you in anyway. 3 There is no cause (at the horizontal level) beyond yourself (who are above it) that can reach down and bring oppression. 4 No one but yourself affects you. (from above) 5 There is nothing in the world (below) that has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. 6 But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see (as director, author, dreamer, law-maker) by merely recognizing what you are (from a position vertically aligned above the world)."