When I read in the course that anger is an attempt to make someone guilty, I didn't at first relate to it. I had to stop and look at what happens, what I'm doing, when I get angry toward someone.
And that didn't typically happen all that often, but when it did I noticed it was true, what I was basically doing was trying to reinforce "how guilty" someone was. I was trying to MAKE them be guilty.
In anger there's this attempt to amplify the "guiltiness" of someone. And it's not even really tied to what they appeared to do or the severity of it. We could just be going to town raging at them way beyond what anything calls for. Probably convinced that whatever "sin" they committed is the REASON WHY the anger is justified.
But then the second insight is that in order to make someone BECOME guilty, we actually have to put guilt ONTO them. A guilt that they do not have initially. Where does that guilt come from? We actually provide it ourselves, and hurl it towards them through projection.
So then we see that anger is really "what it feels like" when you are hurling guilt. The whole intensity of it, the enforcement of it, the sense of righteousness, the pushing and forcing, it's all designed to "hurl" and "transmit" guilt onto the person.
But then this also gives rise to a third insight, that if we are hurling guilt at people, and it's not their guilt, then we must be reaching inside of ourselves and finding some guilt there, in order to have something to hurl. So that means... drumroll... we're really the ones that we think are guilty.
In addition this means that the "reasons why" we claim we're being justified in anger are false - it's not because of what someone else did, we're angry because of what we believe WE did. We are accusing them of our own sin and guilt, so that we can try to make ourselves feel better and deflect attention away from the darkness within. This is why anger is never justified and you are never upset for the reason you think.
So if we're the guilty ones, it basically means we're angry at ourselves and have attacked ourselves first. And if we hadn't done this, if we hadn't manufactured a whole stockpile of guilt, we'd have nothing to hurl at other people. We wouldn't be able to FIND other people to be guilty of anything.
This then leads to the fourth insight, that if we were to undo all of our guilt within ourselves, we would never have to even lift a finger to try to find others innocent. We'd automatically be innocent within, and would look out from this innocence upon others and find them innocent also. We'd never be angry, never project blame, and would just be happy all the time.
"I am never upset for the reason I think." UrW5
"ALL anger is nothing more than an attempt to MAKE SOMEONE FEEL GUILTY, and this attempt is the ONLY basis which the ego accepts for special relationships. Guilt is the only need the ego has, and, as long as you identify WITH it, guilt will remain ATTRACTIVE to you." UrT15H10
"Anger is NEVER justified. Attack has NO foundation. It is here escape from fear begins, and will be made complete. Here is the real world given in exchange for dreams of terror. For it is on this forgiveness rests, AND IS BUT NATURAL." URT10G1
"True healing is the realization you were never sick" - ACIM
The implication of this is that in order to heal or be healed, you do NOT need to find the 'cause of the sickness'. You need to go BEYOND the cause of the sickness to where sickness HAS NO CAUSE. The sickness was produced by a denial or a blockage or an unwillingness to accept that there IS NO SICKNESS AT ALL.
So then if you go looking for the cause, this not only infers that you believe that you are sick and the sickness exists because of a 'real cause', but also that the sickness stems from some kind of 'causal mistake' somewhere in the mind. Like a root or a decision that was wrong. A starting point.
It seems there is something that you 'did' which then produced a bunch of symptoms after it. But even without symptoms coming after it, that initial 'sin' isn't causing sickness to show up somewhere else separate from it - the belief in the sin IS the sickness. It is sickness because THERE IS NO SIN and to believe otherwise IS to be sick/mistaken.
It may appear that these things are the 'cause' of sickness, but really their presence at all is the 'cause' because they are blocking an ACKNOWLEDGEMENT of divine health. They are blocking the atonement, which is that sickness has NOT occurred.
So in order to BE healed, you need to get past all notions of symptoms being real, and past all notions of a cause being real, and REMEMBER that there is no 'real' cause because sickness is not real. You need to remember that YOU ARE NOT SICK. And in that light, in that awareness, the sickness is not believed in, is not seen, and does not exist. Thus any 'manifestation' of it must disappear.
So if you're addressing the sickness, fighting with the sickness, trying to find the cause of the sickness, trying to uproot the sickness, trying to figure out where the sickness came from, or how to fix the sickness, you are barking up the wrong tree and the ego knows it. This only reinforces your belief in it.
The ONLY healing is in surrendering the ego, letting go of the need for the sickness - which ultimately is to block the awareness of NATURAL HEALTH. The only purpose of sickness is as an obstacle to peace and a resistance/defense against the truth. Its only purpose is to choose not to acknowledge that YOU CANNOT BE SICK because you are immortal spirit - Christ!
So let's stop. And let's move into ACCEPTING that we are 100% healthy. Let's move into allowing God's presence to heal. Let's move into recognizing that sickness can never be real, and the belief that it is real IS the sickness. And then let's drop this ego pretense that sickness is happening and admit the truth: As Christ, as God's creation, you are immortal and immune and invulnerable and immaculate. Nothing has happened and nothing can happen to make you sick. You can never be sick because God has created you innocent forever.
So all of this other 'sickness' is just the belief that you are not that, that you are not Christ, innocent, immortal and invulnerable. Your thoughts about the sickness are attack thoughts - "my attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability". But your invulnerability cannot BE attacked. Believing that it can IS an error, and error is sickness. Sickness is not the TRUTH, sickness is a LIE. And ultimately, death is a lie.
Own up to your immortality today.
While doing a fervent forgiveness process, I started to think of my relationship with God. This is where things get juicy. We might not think of whether we are really loving God because we typically are not aware of God, he's not exactly popping up in front of our faces or coming along to trigger us. But there is certainly a hefty body of emotional and psychological disturbance in between us and Him.
So I started to forgive God, along the lines of looking at what I believed I had done to God, and what I believed God had done to me. This included looking into whether I believed I'd sinned against him, hurt him, offended him, upset him, made him angry, changed him, etc.. and vice versa whether God had ever attacked me, sinned against me, hurt me, rejected or abandoned me, judged me, etc.... all ending up with the firm resolution that no, none of this had occurred. And then once that was out of the way, it's possible to more directly accept atonement and see that God still loves you and finds you innocent and so on... the relationship with God heals.
Jesus told me this was "good", to look into this and forgive God for what I thought He'd done to me, and to forgive myself for what I thought I'd done to him. None of it had really happened or had any truth to it. This was all beautiful and lovely. But you can bet this led to a MAJOR catharsis afterwards. I've found this before as well. If I receive a shit-ton of love from God, it can trigger extremely deep catharsis. We all probably have some deep unhealed shite surrounding our direct relationship with Him, and this stuff has to be brought to light and healed.
"Today's idea will eventually overcome completely ***the sense of loneliness and abandonment all the separated ones experience***. Depression is an inevitable consequence of separation. So are anxiety, worry, a deep sense of helplessness, misery, suffering and intense fear of loss."
All of this stuff has to be healed. Every separated self experiences this automatically. We are all, with egos, experiencing a belief in being abandoned by God, rejected, alone, afraid, unworthy etc. No one is excluded from this. Until atonement is accepted and we are reunited with God we are forced into a state where depression, anxiety, fear, worry, loss, helplessness, misery, suffering, sickness etc are all part of the territory. It's a very deep sense of suffering that keeps God's love at a distance.
Our relationship with God must be healed of all of these horrors and looking directly at these things is not easy. It requires that you "forgive God" and yourself in relation to him, to directly undo the "separation" between you and Him, and thus the separation itself. It's one thing to forgive your brothers, but you MUST also forgive God everything you've ever accused Him of or believed true of Him in error. And make no mistake this can be the biggest emotional hurdle you will encounter because it has been ongoing for many lifetimes, through all worldly experiences, and for the whole time you have been away from home.
We don't want to ask for help. Because in our ego we think we don't need help. Because we think we're so amazing and masterful all on our own, that we can do everything on our own, and don't even need any help. This means we believe there's not even anything wrong with us, and that we're amazing super advanced beings already. But the fact is that we need to admit that we are LESS THAN PERFECT, having attacked ourselves and limited ourselves. And we are IN DENIAL about this. We don't want to admit that we suck.
Admitting it is frightening because it means realising that we're "not in a good spot". That we might even be believing we're in danger or are living in fear or are full of guilt or are sick or whatever. But ADMITTING this also means, your mind is going to accept that you DO NEED HELP. And only by recognizing that you are in NEED, will you be willing to ASK FOR HELP. Only by recognising that you are NOT DOING WELL, will you reach out, or acknowledge the fact that you cannot get out of this all by yourself.
Only by having that honesty to admit to failure and lack and not knowing how to get yourself out of it, resigning as your own teacher, will you ASK the Holy Spirit to help you. And then you will be WILLING with a little willingness to LET HIM help you, to let him heal you and guide you. If you can't admit that you are crap all on your own and you don't know what to do about it, you're never going to get to the point where you realize you need God to save you, in which you will turn to him.
People sometimes only reach this when they hit rock bottom and crash agains the rocks and realize they can't help themselves, which is an excellent thing to recognize because it finally means you surrender your egoic efforts to save yourself and become open to something from outside the ego. This is when we are wiling to admit ego defeat, ie failure, which is a GOOD THING, and can then crack open and let some light in from beyond the ego. This is when we want a better way, because our tolerance for pain and suffering has reached its limit.
Those who have suffered and have been tested and have failed and have realised the meagre limitation and powerlessness of their ego self, have been blessed with an opportunity to find God, to turn to him and to trust him. If we're not willing to "admit defeat", we'll just keep fighting ourselves all on our own and continue the suffering, trying to tolerate the pain and misery for as long as we can stand it.
"The misuse of will engenders a situation which, in the extreme, becomes altogether intolerable. Pain thresholds can be high, but they are not limitless. Eventually, everybody begins to recognize, however dimly, that there MUST be a better way. As this recognition is more firmly established, it becomes a perceptual turning-point. This ultimately reawakens the spiritual eye, simultaneously weakening the investment in physical sight. The alternating investment in the two types or levels of perception is usually experienced as conflict for a long time, and can become very acute."
I remind myself of heaven's nature. I remind myself that in reality nothing has ever gone wrong. Nothing God created has ever changed. Reality cannot be affected. Nothing real can be hurt. There is no sickness or suffering or pain or death. Nothing ever breaks or malfunctions or decays or fails. Everything is absolutely perfect at all times and nothing can prevail against the Kingdom.
Then I take a look at the alternative suggestion. The notion that EVERYTHING has gone wrong. That everything breaks, dies, fails, malfunctions, distorts, decays, suffers and is corrupt. The world we made, the hell we made, space and time, with its laws of sin and rules of destruction.
Then I compare the two, and I ask myself, how can it be possible that they are both true? They cannot be. I attempt to reconcile them together as if they could exist at the same time, but one cancels out the other. They cannot both be true. They are so opposite that they are completely incompatible. Only one of them can be true.
If heaven is true and real and if I put my faith in that, then what is this suggestion that everything has gone wrong? What is that made of? How is it claiming that there's been sin? What is this feeling of disaster and guilt and things turning sour and doom and gloom? How can this experience of suffering and despair be true?
I go back and forth comparing the two options and it should become clearer and clearer that only God's truth is true. Nothing real has ever been threatened. Nothing real can be attacked. There cannot be a sin. There cannot be failure and death. So what IS this other suggestion, that everything has gone wrong? It must surely in fact be a LIE!
At first this seems surprising and shocking. Because all along we have been believing it and thinking it is the truth. We bought into it and valued it and held it as sacredly real. And now when comparing the world to another world we suddenly find out the whole idea of destruction is false. We suddenly discover that all of these notions of sin and attack and death cannot be true. What ARE they if they are not true? What IS this idea of things going wrong?
It has to be a total lie. It has to in fact be completely false. It is not what you thought it was. You were deceived. The very thing which you thought was completely true all this time turns out to be completely false. The ego has been lying to you this whole time.
There never was anything that went wrong in reality. Nothing in heaven has been changed. What a crock of bullshit this lie of sin is. What a bunch of crap that suggests anything has EVER gone wrong to disturb the perfection of God?
This may seem horrifying at first to realize, the cherished treasure of insane separation has been entirely UNFOUNDED this whole time. The whole notion of sin has been totally made-up and unjustified. The total assumption you had your whole life that failure was natural and destruction was commonplace and death was normal is upended at its root.
The whole system is totally NOT WHAT IT CLAIMS. And now you see through the illusion and can no longer buy it. Because no-one can believe something that is obviously impossible.
Denial denies that the truth is true.
Denial attempts to make something else be true, which is false.
Denial is a lie.
Denial is essentially the only ego device. It is another word for separation - the attempt to make the truth go away, to get rid of God, to kill of God's Son, to go unconscious.
You have to own up to and admit to everything, and that is an act of surrender. To stop denying the truth is to surrender or give up the ego position of fighting against it.
In the example of someone who has committed a crime but who is denying that they did it, until they are willing to surrender and stop hiding from the truth, they will maintain denial as a defense. To give up that denial is to admit the truth, which means surrendering to Authority. In the world this usually means the authority of others over them, to decide their fate, but psychologically is means surrendering to the Authority of God, which is a blessing.
Denial then is an authority problem, where you are attempting to have authority over the truth by redefining what it is and making it be something it is not. It's your ego's attempt to assert itself and make itself valid. To surrender to the truth, to God, is the undoing of the authority problem, the relinquishment of the ego, and is a rejoining of mind in wholeness.
To put down denial is to open up to God, to receive love, to accept reality, and to return to sanity. It means admitting that there is nothing you can do to make the truth be something it isn't, and to gladly accept it and welcome it as it is. That doesn't mean accepting that the world is real or that things in the world really are happening. That's not the truth. It means accepting that this world doesn't exist because God did not create it, and being untrue means there is no reason to be upset about it.
You cannot change the fact you live forever. You cannot undo eternal life, because it is immortality. Spirit is in a state of grace forever and has never changed. But you can deny it. You can pretend it is not true. You can try to avoid it, you can make-believe it isn't real, and you can weave illusions to try to make it seems like it isn't true. You can try to invent death and make death seem to happen. But you cannot kill what God created. Death isn't real and it never will be.
To die is to deny Real Life, and death is just a state of heavily denying what the truth is. Death therefore cannot be the truth, and must be reversible if you are willing to surrender the illusion of lies. Death, being denial, cannot be considered a true state, a final state, a whole state. It requires considerable effort to maintain, and cannot last. Like all things made without God, it has a limit to what it can seem to do. That is why the Spirit escapes it, and why we then have more lifetimes.
You can deny the truth up and down and left and right and pretend to be something you are not and try to die in every way imaginable, pretending you deserve it and make-believing it is justified, but it is always a state of lies. You simply are not being honest. The honest truth is that God has created you eternal and you cannot die and this world does not exist. So, what is there to be concerned about? Why pretend you are vulnerable? Why attempt to make out that you can be attacked? You are immortal spirit.
Bodies, the Earth, the Sun, all the stars, all the galaxies, will vanish, because they are an illusion and not of God. This will mark the "disappearance of the universe". And all that will remain is the Kingdom of God, which was there before spacetime was ever dreamed of. And not one single thing which appeared to come into existence will exist in any way, and will simply fade into nothing without a trace. No-one needs the world except to help us to leave it behind and go home.
"Together we can watch the world disappear and its symbol vanish as it does so." (Special messages 19)
"Like all things in the world its meaning is temporary, and will ultimately fade into the nothingness from which it came when there is no more use for it." UrM14A1
"Let us today behold earth disappear, at first transformed, and then, forgiven, fade entirely into God's holy Will." UrW326L4
"in that instant is the world forgot, with time forever ended as the world spins into nothingness from where it came." UrU5A4
"When not one thought of sin remains, the world is over. It will not be destroyed nor attacked nor even touched. It will merely cease to seem to be." UrM15A2
"An unremembered world will leave no trace behind its going, when God's gifts have been accepted as the only thing you want." UrG1A8
"Idols MUST disappear, and leave no trace behind their going." UrT20G9
"The world you see is an illusion of a world. God did not create it, for what He creates must be eternal as Himself. Yet there is nothing in the world you see that will endure forever. Some things will last in time a little while longer than others. But the time will come when all things visible will have an end." UrU5A1
"To close all things of time, to end the sight
Of all things visible; and to undo
All things that change." UrM30A8
"Heaven remains your one alternative to this strange world you made and all its ways; its shifting patterns and uncertain goals, its painful pleasures and its tragic joys. God made no contradictions. What denies its own existence and attacks itself is not of Him. He did not make two minds, with Heaven as the glad effect of one, and earth the other's sorry outcome which is Heaven's opposite in every way." UrW137L1
"Where destruction was perceived the face of Christ appears, and in that instant is the world forgot, with time forever ended as the world spins into nothingness from where it came." UrU5A4
"The song of our rejoicing is the call to all the world that freedom is returned, that time is almost over, and God's Son has but an instant more to wait until his Father is remembered, dreams are done, eternity has shined away the world, and only Heaven now exists at all." UrW230W25
If someone tells you that something is medically wrong with a person, your mind will narrow. You'll probably find yourself focusing on their body. You'll feel like you are locked into the situation with no way to escape it. Somehow your whole attention is on the problem and it seems like there is nothing you can do about it.
This sensation that you are locked into a physical state with no way out, means your mind has become imprisoned and it is also imprisoning the other person. It is holding sin against them and giving reality to their body. This means you've entered false perception, which is why you are in fear and feeling powerless. You think the person is their body, so your eyes are now fixated on their body as if it - thus them - has a problem that cannot be fixed.
The problem has to be first recognized in order to resolve it. Because the problem isn't in fact the idea that something is wrong with the body-person, the problem is really that you're seeing them as a body and are being unforgiving. You have confused their body for their self, thus confusing your body for yourself. And now you feel threatened and unsafe and in danger because you've identified with what can be attacked, joining your brother in false empathy and suffering.
To recognize the problem is to realize the problem is not so much what you see, but how you are seeing, or from what vantage point you're seeing from. And false perception will gladly show you that a person is exclusively physical, omitting any sign that they are not a body or any awareness of anything about them that isn't solid. You'll then think this is all there is, and therefore it is the only reality, and this is why you suffer in an unsolvable problematic space.
The problem is that you have lost sight of the truth about yourself and them. They are not a body, and nor are you. They are not a symptom or a sickness. They are not physical. Your physical sight on its own without the input of true vision is blinding you by perception of form, limiting your awareness to a tiny fragment of what's there. Your vision has become dark and narrow and this is why the whole situation seems impossible to solve.
To see physical sickness as real is to be blinded by form. To believe there is something wrong with the body is to anchor you in false perceptions. To regard the body as in danger is to completely ignore the mind. But to recognize nothing real can be threatened is to realize everyone is immortal and cannot be sick. Ultimately, that the body is not really there are all, because only the mind is real.
"Let me recognize the problem so that it can be solved."
"Let me recognize that this problem has been solved."
"Let us be determined not to collect grievances today. Let us be determined to be free of problems that do not exist. The means is simple honesty. Do not deceive yourself about what the problem is, and you must recognize it has been solved."
In the physical world, the ego has cleverly set things up so that cause and effect seem separate.
It is even a "law" of physics that each action has an equal and opposite reaction. Or that if you put some energy in, some energy comes out. Or that if you cause some object to move, it will have to move.
This whole world is set up to show you a picture of causes having effects.
Object A moves and hits object B and therefore object B now gains some energy and moves.
And to your perception, this looks as though some parts of the world are causes and some parts of the world are effects.
And this is pretty malleable because in any given situation something which was causing an effect on something else can, itself, become the effect of something else.
So this world, in how it appears, as physical matter that moves through time and space, is MEANT to show you a picture of cause and effect being separate.
And that means, if cause is separate from effect, YOU can be caused by this world and affected by it.
It also seems to mean that you can do stuff to this world which does not affect you. This is how you get away with murder.
The illusion that something "made something happen" here, shows your mind a very convincing picture which seems to train it to believe e.g. the body is sick because it was attacked by the wrong food, or the body is sick because the weather changed, or the body is sick because someone just cut your leg off.
Well, that's a pretty darn convincing illusion right there, portraying and "proving" that your leg is powerless over a chainsaw and it is now laying on the floor in a bloody mess.
Except that..... ... you, as immortal spirit, and not a body, and not a part of this world, DO have the power to overcome even this convincing illusion.
You could, if you so chose, manifest an entirely new body. You could undo all of the effects of the dismembered leg.
You could make the illusion appear as though nothing happened.
You could even in fact become so invulnerable "in" your body that it is impossible even for your body to be moved or hurt or damaged in any way at all, even if someone lets off a nuclear bomb in your vicinity!
What God creates is permanent. Therefore it is invulnerable. And therefore it cannot be hurt. And therefore it is immortal. And that is what you are. So ....
All of this world with its ILLUSION that there are causes and powers and wills outside of you that can do something to you or make accidents happen or harm you in any way, IT IS NOT REAL and IT CAN BE OVERCOME.
And when you overcome it, this will be thought of as miraculous. Because it is, in a certain context. But miracles are natural. They are everyone's birthright. And when they're not happening something has gone wrong.
You cannot be hurt by a dream that isn't really there.
If you perceive that someone out there is your enemy, opposition, separate from you or wrong in some way, you absolutely MUST and WILL simultaneously see yourself as under attack and victimized by them.
It doesn't even matter if they actually are doing anything to you or not. Just the mere perception of them as your enemy is enough to force your mind to see ITSELF as THEIR enemy, and therefore a victim of whatever they are doing.
This happens instantaneously as soon as you are tempted to see someone else as being separate, different, worse, more guilty or more at fault than yourself.
So what this means is, by choosing to see someone as an enemy, you automatically make yourself an enemy.
Enemies experience threat and danger. Enemies fear attack. Enemies see themselves as victims. Enemies are driven to become victimizers to then try to defend themselves against that perceived attack.
But who is it that chose to see the other person as an enemy in the first place? You.
So not only did you set yourself to be the opponent of this person or group of people, by choosing to see them as your enemy, but you also set yourself up in a victim role.
Being in a victim role you MUST experience fear, anger, upset, and all manner of negative feelings and perceptions.
You might then think that these feelings are being 'caused by' the enemy. In a way they are, in that IF that person is an enemy and IF you believe they are, it would seem that you think they can and are doing something to you. But, the truth is, that it was YOUR choice to see them as your enemy that simultaneously set you up in a split-mind perception, where you are also their enemy, and therefore you are under attack.
This leads to the ultimate truth.... that you have in fact attacked yourself by attacking the other person. There is no escaping this. Either you are both innocent, or you are both enemies. Either you are both on the same side, or you are opposed to each other. It works both ways. And quite literally, everything you perceive them as capable of doing TO you, YOU are doing to yourself. It's you that is choosing to be in opposition to them, and to yourself, and it's you who has now perceived yourself in the role of victim in relation to the distorted figure you see in them.
So you can be upset about other people if you want to. But it is a *GUARANTEE* that you will victimize yourself. And that also means, if you choose not to see other people as enemies, you will set yourself AND them free.
Those who have no enemies have no fear, no anger, no hate, no danger, and no need to react. Ultimately because you are choosing to be a victim in EVERY victim situation, you are your ONLY victimizer. Once you realize this and stop victimizing yourself, recognizign the total futility of 'doing this to yourself', you will be set free. Free from your own tyrrany.