Wishful thinking. ... really a form of denial, wanting things to be other than how they are right now. Isn't that the same thing as attacking and judging?
Saying ... hey, I don't like how you are right now, you shouldn't be this way, you should be some other way. I can't accept you like this. How you are is wrong, so you are sinful and guilty, because you're now how I want you to be.
Wishing that things were different, is a lack of acceptance. An unwillingness to face how things actually are right now. It doesn't mean you have to put up with it or not make changes still, it just means at least being willing to look and see and accept how it is now.
Wishful thinking is also a form of resistance, which is a form of fear. It's also a form of dishonesty. It's not wanting to admit to the apparent truth of the situation or accept the facts. This again doesn't mean you have you see yourself as hemmed in by the "physical truth", but having an issue with "how it is" is an attempt to lie about it.
Wishing that things were not how they are, doesn't change anything. It's a form of complaint and victimhood. It's you having a temper tantrum believing that you can skew things towards how you would prefer them. But preferences are another form of denial.
To wish that things were different, without willing and causing them to be different, is a form of unwillingness. A desire to reject what has apparently been willed, to demand and require it be willed differently, but not actually doing anything constructive to will it yourself.
And so wishing is dreaming, and faking, and lying, and deceiving, and denying, and not accepting, and attacking, and judging, and being dishonest, and avoiding reality. It was wishing for something other than God that got us into this mess in the first place.
"The world is nothing in itself. Your mind must give it meaning. And what you behold upon it are your wishes, acted out so you can look on them and think them real."
"We have already said that wishful thinking is how the ego deals with what it wants, to make it so."
"We once said that to will contrary to God is wishful thinking, and not real willing."
"You CAN wish for the impossible, but you can only WILL with God. This is the ego's weakness and YOUR strength."
"Now is vengeance all there is to wish for."
"But the WISH for other experience will block this, because God's Will CANNOT be forced upon you, being an experience of total WILLINGNESS."
"The Son of God could NEVER sin, but he CAN wish for what would hurt him. And he HAS the power to think he CAN BE hurt. What could this be EXCEPT a misperception of himself?"
"It is not Will for Life, but wish for death, that is the motivation for this world."
"The tiniest of dreams, the smallest wish for values of the world is large enough to stand between you and the sweet release that God would offer you." "It is in the special relationship, born of the hidden wish for special love from God, that the ego's hatred triumphs."
"To wish for guilt in ANY way, in ANY form, will lose appreciation of the value of your guiltlessness, and push it from your sight."
Denial has two applications. Either to deny reality, or to deny unreality. The ego uses it to deny God. You as a miracle worker are to USE DENIAL to deny anything NOT of God any power to do anything.
Miracle-working therefore entails DENYING that what is not of God exists at all. This strips it of all reality and power. You must withdraw all the power you GAVE it. You must not beleive in it. You must cancel its whole existence. What is not of God simply is not possible, and the illusion that it is possible can be undone by denying it any reality. To recognize illusions as nothing makes them disappear.
We are therefore asked to REJECT things which are not of God. To deny and reject sickness, suffering, and death. Not to pretend they aren't there, which is really a hidden belief in support of them. But to properly deny them. They are themselves denials of God, because sickness is the ego's religion of denying God.
To deny the world of illusions is to remain in strength and to not allow anything of the world to intrude upon you or another. Deny that your brother is a body. Deny that sickness is possible. Deny death can ever exist. Deny that "its true" that your brother has problems or is imperfect.
Denial couples with acceptance. To deny what is not real is to accept what is real. Just as to deny reality is to accept illusions into your mind. Whatever you DON'T deny, you accept and allow to remain. Acceptance is supportive. Denial is not. Using a "lack of support" AGAINST weakness and suffering and death, cancels it out, just as two negatives make a positive.
"The task of the miracle-worker thus becomes to DENY THE DENIAL OF TRUTH."
"To deny the denial of perfection is not so difficult as the denial of truth."
"This world you see MUST BE DENIED, for sight of it is costing you a different kind of vision."
"THIS peace is totally incapable of being shaken by human errors of any kind. It denies the ability of anything which is not of God to effect you in any way. This is the PROPER use of denial. It is not used to HIDE anything, but it IS used to correct error."
"True denial is a very powerful protective device. You can and should deny any belief that error can hurt you. This kind of denial is NOT a concealment device, but a correction device. The "Right Mind" of the mentally healthy DEPENDS on it."
"Teach no-one he has hurt you, for, if you do, you teach YOURSELF that what is NOT of God, HAS POWER OVER YOU."
"If you give no power to the fog to obscure the light, it HAS none, for it has power ONLY because the Son of God gave power TO it. He must HIMSELF withdraw that power, remembering that all power is of God. YOU CAN REMEMBER THIS FOR ALL THE SONSHIP. Do not allow your brother not to remember, for his forgetfulness is YOURS."
"Do not ALLOW him to belittle himself in YOUR mind, but give him freedom from his belief in littleness, and escape from YOURS."
"Do not allow your brother to be sick, for if he is, have YOU abandoned him to his own dream, by SHARING it with him."
If you dream that an animal is attacking you, you can hardly blame the animal for attacking you. If you believe it is not you that's making the animal attack you, then you might believe the animal itself its attacking you with a mind or motivation of its own. And then you will be scared it and believe you are able to suffer from the attack. But if you remember that the entire performance is coming from your mind as the dreamer of the dream, then recognize not only that it's really you attacking yourself, but also that you can't be hurt by a mere dream.
This places you outside the dream as the dreamer of the dream, and then you do not confuse the dream for something happening to you from some other source. If you will simply recognize what you are doing, you can no longer be lost in the dream or at the effect of it. You'd have absolutely reaction to it at all if you remembered you were the one making it happen. It would be foolish then blame the dream for doing anything, knowing that you're the one doing it. And then you can simply stop dreaming and be free of it.
What if the world - a world of dreams - is only doing what you are dreaming that it does? And what if you are the mind making the world turn and the animals move and the things happen? And what if anything that happens or seems to happen to you, is the result of you putting it there to do it? And what if you merely need to be aware of dreaming in order to recognize this is your dream of self attack? And by remembering you are the dreamer you can no longer blame the world for causing anything, knowing that you are the cause of everything.
And then the world has no power over you, because you are making the world according to your will. It can have no affect on you or upset you or disturb you in any way or bring oppression or make you sick or dead or anything at all. Because being the dreamer of the dream you are its sole cause and are beyond what the dream is. You are no longer confused with what the dream is, or thinking you are a figure in the dream as a dream body, or believing that you can be hurt by something that is merely an effect of your dreaming. When you decide to stop dreaming of being hurt you will simply awaken and dream no more.
"The secret of salvation is but this: That YOU are doing this UNTO YOURSELF. No matter what the form of the attack, this STILL is true. Whoever takes the role of enemy and of attacker, STILL is this the truth. Whatever seems to be the cause of any pain and suffering you feel, this is STILL true. For you would not react at all to figures in a dream you knew that YOU were dreaming. Let them be as hateful and as vicious as they may, they COULD have no effect on you, unless you failed to recognize it is YOUR dream. This single lesson learned will set you free from suffering, WHATEVER form it takes.
The Holy Spirit will repeat this ONE inclusive lesson of deliverance, until it has been learned, REGARDLESS of the form of suffering that brings you pain. Whatever hurt you bring to Him, He will make answer with this very simple truth. For this one answer TAKES AWAY the cause of every form of sorrow and of pain. The form affects His answer not at all, for He would teach you but the SINGLE cause of all of them, no matter WHAT their form. And you will understand that miracles reflect the simple statement, "I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo."
Bring, then, all forms of suffering to Him Who knows that every one is like the rest. He sees NO differences where none exist, and He will teach you how each one is CAUSED. None has a DIFFERENT cause from all the rest, and ALL of them are easily undone by but a SINGLE lesson truly learned. Salvation is a secret you have kept but from yourself. The universe proclaims it so. But, to its witnesses, you pay no heed at all. For they attest the thing you do not WANT to know. They seem to keep it secret FROM you. Yet you need but learn you choose but NOT to listen, NOT to see.
How differently will you perceive the world, when this is recognized! When you forgive the world YOUR guilt, YOU will be free of it. Its innocence does NOT demand your guilt, nor does your guiltlessness rest on ITS sins. This is the obvious, a secret kept from no-one but yourself. And it is this that has maintained you SEPARATE from the world, and kept your brother SEPARATE from you. Now need you but to learn that BOTH of you are innocent OR guilty. The one thing that is impossible is that you be UNLIKE each other; that they BOTH be true. This is the only secret yet to learn. And it will be NO secret you are healed."
"The body neither lives nor dies, because it cannot contain you who are life."
"God did not make the body, because it is destructible, and therefore not of the Kingdom."
"The body is the symbol of what you think you are. It is clearly a separation device, and therefore does not exist."
"The death of an illusion means nothing."
"A body cannot stay without illusions, and the last one to be overcome is death."
"What is understood as an illusion must disappear."
When Jesus speaks about how the body cannot live or die, this doesn't necessarily mean that the body hangs around forever in some immortalized state, which is how some people interpret it.
When Jesus says that the body is recognized as an illusion, He is talking from a very high place/level where He is completely outside of the illusion and has no illusions. From that vantage point, He recognized that the body is an illusion as much as the world is, like just an image on a screen. The image can appear to "look like" living, or "look like" death, but really AS an image it cannot be either alive or dead, it is just an image. That's what this means.
Because the body is just an image in the mind, an illusion, which when recognized as an illusion MUST disappear, within this context only can it be properly understood that the body does not really have any 'life' and it also cannot really 'die'. But people take this and then pull their mind back into the context of "illusions are real, bodies exist", and interpret it to mean the body will become permanent or something. Illusions cannot be permanent.
There is also a lot of belief that the body is going to be converted for use as a teaching device, learning device, or a communication device by Holy Spirit, and that therefore the 'ultimate state' of the relationship to the body will be that you go around using it as a Teacher of God to express Heaven on Earth. But.... you're not really going to be able to do that as the ultimate state of being, because as Jesus says, when an illusion is fully recognized as nothing it must disappear. The body is an illusion, and when recognized fully, ie when you are fully awakened as Christ, the body MUST disappear because the body is in the mind and made BY the mind, having no other cause.
The disappearance of the body is the final 'exit' from the illusion of death, because once you can see that body is NOTHING but an image - an illusion, a dream, a fantasy that you made up and used to believe in, and that it is not you whatsoever, it will be recognized as just an illusion in your own mind which will disappear when that illusion disappears. Your mind will stop creating the body image, because the body image blocks awareness of the truth.
While you think the body has any validity at all or any reason to exist, you are believing in death. The body IS the idea of death and separation. It is a thought-form of separation. So while you keep it and exalt it and make it spiritually special, you are maintaining the illusion that God's son is destroyable, and therefore are keeping death, and death will seem to happen to the body in the dream.
So when Jesus says the body cannot die, he is talking way outside the context of the illusion where the body is recognized as nothing but an illusion. You can't mix the levels, otherwise you're in "level confusion."
The body you have, no matter what its issues are, they are not who you are. Thankfully, you are immortal spirit. You're just using this body temporarily as a vehicle to interact with the world.
You've had other bodies of various kinds. Memory of that fact would immediately help you to look at your current body as not a fixed part of your identity, but just a 'house' that you temporarily live in.
You have attributed various properties to your sense of self based on the body you have, how it looks, what color it is, how it moves, what its problems are, but none of those things really are to do with who you really are.
Just because you, or your loved ones, are showing up IN a body, doesn't mean you or they ARE a body.
If you could keep in mind that you are not a body and "no-body" else is either, then you'd see that it's kind of funny how we all keep going around acting as though what applies to our body applies to us.
We groom our body, decorate our body, look at our body in the mirror, do weird things with our body, look at other bodies, notice what other bodies are decorated as, and generally speak to other bodies as though they are people. But it's what's inside the body that gives it life - spirit - which without it the body would be just an empty, lifeless host.
This is part of learning to see yourself and others as Christ. Christ is not a body. Overlooking the body and not being distracted by it is part of forgiveness. Not regarding people as bodies is part of forgiveness. Not identifying yourself as a body is part of forgiveness.
At some point you're going to stop using this body, probably, unless you somehow convert it into a higher form, and then when you stop using it and carry on your way, you'll recognize how it is not who you are.
It's like putting on some clothes and then starting to believe that you are the clothes. It's easy to do, given how intimate you are with the body and how closely it seems to match your every intention. You are creating it, after all. But it's not your self.
Almost everyone in the world remarks about how 'you' look, what 'you' did, where 'you' went etc... really all referring to the "hero of the dream" - the exalted body which everyone is worshipping. The body is a false idol, and just an instrument to use temporarily.
It is by overlooking form and recognizing/knowing the true nature of your identity and the identity of others, not confused with bodies, that miracles are possible.
Miracle principle 20: "Miracles reawaken the awareness that the spirit, not the body, is the altar of truth"
Miracle principle 42: "A major contribution of miracles is their strength in releasing you from your false sense of isolation"
Miracle principle 44: "The miracle is an expression of an inner awareness of Christ and the acceptance of His Atonement"
Miracle principle 50: "The miracle compares what you have made with creation, accepting what is in accord with it as true"
"I am not a body, I am free" - ACIM
Quote: "Freedom must be impossible as long as you perceive a body as yourself. The body is a limit. Who would seek for freedom in a body looks for it where it can not be found. The mind can be made free when it no longer sees itself as in a body, firmly tied to it and sheltered by its presence. If this were the truth, the mind were vulnerable indeed! "
The ego doesn't have any real power of its own. Its only strategy is to try to get you to willingly give your power to it.
To do this, it has to present to you some kind of temptation or lie, something untrue, and generally something that upsets you in some way. If it can especially get you to have a reaction, or be triggered, then you have fell for its trap.
The ego uses your own beliefs and your own blind-spots, as a way to get you to agree to go along with it. While you remain unconscious and attached to a certain egoic belief, you are quite literally agreeing with the ego and giving it permission to use this against you.
The ego cannot take power from you, you have to give it away. When you give it away, you give it away through playing the role of a victim, perhaps entering into fear or guilt etc. This is your way of making it seem as though the power you share with God has now been separated from God and is handed over to the ego.
In certain other religious circles, this principle is taught in terms of the devil, sin, and how the devil operates. That is, that you first must sin which means you believe in something that's mistaken. Then based on this sin, you have literally agreed that something untrue is true. And now this creates an 'open door' and an invitation and a resonant agreement, which allows 'the evil' to come in and control you. This is also how evil 'spirits' enter people's lives. Because YOU have violated a law of God, so to speak, by going against it, you have permitted darkness/ego/devil to use this darkness against you.
But notice here that the ego/devil does not actually have its own power. And it completely depends on you agreeing with it, and continuing the 'sin' i.e. the false belief. It also does not actually have any power to prevent you from undoing that belief, or choosing again, or waking up. It has ZERO 'actual' control over you, besides your own willingness to play along. If you were to decide to stop playing along, and to withdraw your belief, and to take back your power knowing it is yours, and knowing that the ego can do absolutely NOTHING to stop you, the ego would be dis-empowered.
The only tool the ego has is the presentation of illusions, in an attempt to try to play upon what you believe and to convince you that it is either your friend and ally, or to distract you from choosing again by throwing fears or guilts or rationalizations or whatever else your way, to try to once again push your buttons or pull up your past hurts or play upon your own fears, to keep you ensured in its mindset. And often, in unconsciousness, you will go along with this and be pulled right back in, but ONLY because you have not become conscious/aware enough yet to discern and to decide not to listen or believe what it's saying.
So really the ego is just a mirror for your own mis-beliefs. And it shows you and reflects back to you what you currently believe. Change your belief, and the reflection of that belief - the ego - must disappear.
There is nothing keeping you stuck. There is nothing stopping you but yourself. There is no reason why you can't be loved. There is no reason why you can't wake up. The only thing keeping you asleep is yourself.
Sickness in all its forms includes not just physical sickness but mental, emotional, financial, perceptual, sickness in relationships, vocational, etc.
Sickness in all its forms is an attempt to PROVE that God does not love you.
You're holding the sickness out there as evidence and saying, see, THIS proves that I am unworthy and unloved. Hah. Let's see what you've got to say about THAT!
The thing is.... You cannot prove that God doesn't love you, because it isn't true. You can only truly PROVE something that is true. If it's not true, you're not going to be able to prove it at all no matter how hard you attempt to do so.
So really your sickness is an ATTEMPT to TRY to prove it, even though it is not provable. And the ego in you is insane for even trying to prove it, because this is in DENIAL of the fact that it can't be proven. You WILL NOT and CANNOT change God. Your sickness is an attempt to change God, by attempting to change what God created - which is you.
It won't work. And you'll spend a lifetime trying to make it work AND FAIL. Thank God. Because you will never ever prove you are unworthy of love.
So it's really fruitless and pointless to spend all the effort attempting to prove the unprovable, or to make possible the impossible. You CAN'T be unloved by God.
So then you'll have to eventually ADMIT to this fact. And when you do you'll set yourself free of the game that you're playing with yourself. You have to admit that you chose this sickness and have put it in place and are attempting to make it the truth, when it isn't. And it requires an awful lot of upkeep to try to make it convincing.
A sickness therefore is a DEMAND that you insist God does not love you because of 'this' - whatever this is - whatever the sickness is, and you show it in order to block love.
You're like, well, God doesn't love me, see? I've got this to prove it? What about this (as you hold up your disease or your sense of poverty or your broken life). Basically you're holding this thing up to God and saying, see, there's no way you can love me because of THIS. How could anyone love THIS? Or, how could anyone love me when I've done THIS to God's son?
So your question is, how can I be loved? How can love be possible? Because by believing that UNLOVE is possible, or that you can prove your unworthiness, you also believe that worthiness is impossible. But your worthiness is not only possible but permanent.
And God responds. .... Through Holy Spirit ...... Even 'this' sickness you made does not show me that you aren't good enough. It doesn't make you less than you are and fails to convince me that I shouldn't love you anyway. Sorry but I will always love you and there's nothing you can do to change my attitude. Even this is not enough and never will be to make me hate you for sin you think you perceive. You've done nothing of any consequence and this can be undone. It isn't worthy of my condemnation or judgement and I will never find you guilty. There isn't anything you can do to upset me or make me not love you because you are my child, and my love for you is unconditional and everlasting. Let go of this supposed cardboard sickness you think proves you're not innocent, and allow me to love you for you so that you can return to peace and happiness. Put down your arms and surrender your weapons used against yourself. Put aside your grievance against yourself and let yourself recognize you ARE love. I love you just the same.
The idea that the world is just a dream, may sound very simple. But to fully and completely embrace it is a very tall order. If the world is just a dream, it changes your ENTIRE relationship to everything, to all people and object and events and places. Every single happening is framed differently, every interaction has a different meaning, and every piece of physical matter is up for question.
To accept this idea intellectually is very easy. It makes a lot of sense. If you can see the logic behind it, that we made this world as an opposite to God, and is therefore not real, you can accept that as making sense.
But to live it, to deep dive into it, to apply it everywhere and at all times, to remember it in the midsts of all happenings, to use it in all relationships, and to completely uproot all previous beliefs is long term challenge.
For me, the seemingly logical and clear conclusion that the world is not real, has become so refined and polished that I can see nothing to contradict it. Like, it makes total sense on paper. However, I still have a vast repository of "other beliefs" which have been convinced otherwise over time.
Beliefs in bodies being real. Beliefs in being a body. Beliefs in other people being bodies. Beliefs in events happening. Beliefs in seriousness and importance. Beliefs in value and priorities and hierarchies of difficulty. Beliefs in justified reactions and ego emotions and normality and human nature. All of those things scream that the world is real.
So what I find is that although I understand it in theory, my mind and beliefs still are quite uncertain about this idea. I go towards it a little more only to find other beliefs springing up into awareness saying, "but what about....". And every SINGLE one of those beliefs is rooted in the belief that the world is reality. The basic opposite premise of the dream. Each one of them signals and testifies that this is not just a dream.
So the mind then finds itself pulled in two directions. One direction pulls toward the seemingly glowing new "idea" or light, that it's true the world is just a dream and nothing is happening and no-one has ever sinned. And the other direction pulls towards the old worn out darkness of nightmares and hell, that there is sin everywhere and no hope for salvation.
"Some of your greatest advances YOU have judged as failures, and some of your deepest retreats YOU have evaluated as success."
"If you want to be different, I will wait until you change your mind. I can teach you, but only you can choose to listen to my teaching."
I will go towards the light of the truth, and the ego mind will go into doubt, which is fear. It will say, but what about this, and what about that.... there will be an uncertainty and a "not sure about this" and a "can this really be true?". There is a DIS-BELIEF.
"Ultimately, space is as meaningless as time. Both are merely beliefs. The real purpose of this world is to use it to correct your unbelief."
And the fact is that EVERY single opposition to the truth has to be uprooted and corrected and dispelled in order to have NO OBJECTIONS to accepting the atonement. If there is even a slight reason why you might not trust the truth, or suspect that it is false, or have a slight confusion about whether it is true or false, then you will not whole-heartedly accept the salvation it offers. Atonement can only be fully accepted through TOTAL willingness and certainty.
So I keep "naturally" checking and re-checking, looking at what the course says, reminding myself of its facts, re-considering the possibility that I might be mistaken about this new idea. I can't help but be "open minded" about the possibility that it is WRONG, because my ego already believes it is wrong and this pulls me into entertaining its possibility. And until I am wholly certain of its truth, which has to run VERY deeply and fully, this will keep happening.
"Until this distinction is made, however, the vacillations between free and imprisoned will cannot but continue."
These vacillations are to be expected for anyone who is attempting to awaken from the dream. If the world IS a dream and we have been believing it is NOT a dream, but a reality, then our entire way of believing and thinking and perceiving is going to have to go through a 180-degree transformation. Or as Jesus puts it, the upside-down thought system has to be turned right-side up, and that means nothing short of a complete reversal of your thought system and "world view".
Reversing your thought system WILL entail nothing less than realizing that everything you thought was what you did NOT want, you want. Everything you thought was evil, is good. Everything you thought was good, is evil. And all ego beliefs which claim a lie are actually claiming something else. It requires a tremendous sorting out of what is TRUE and what is FALSE, and in this endeavor you WILL be mistaken throughout the process. Which is why it requires a little willingness to consider the possibility that something else might be true, beyond what you currently believe.
I approach and I retreat. I get closer to accepting and then the ego fear pops up. I use the confusion as an opportunity to find more clarity, and then advance forward again. Each time becoming a little and more convinced, not just in theory but in practice, in direct experience, of the world's unreality. Because if what ACIM says is true, then "awareness of dreaming" and "the body is a dream" must become my new reality, before I can go home to God.
One thing is for sure, the road home to God is winding with spluttering false starts and lurches and gradual progress."I can but choose to wander off a while, and then return. Your loving Voice will always call me back, and guide my feet aright.""He will return and go still farther, or perhaps step back a while and then return again."
"Let us return the dream he gave away unto the dreamer, who perceives the dream"
"The Second Coming is merely the return of sense."
When someone says or does something that you judge and perceive as wrong, you become upset.
In your upset, you claim that you are upset because they said or did something that was wrong - i.e. something incorrect, something that is a mistake, or something untrue.
But, even though YOU are claiming to believe that this thing is untrue and wrong, you are still upset.
Why are you upset, if what the person said is not true? Why do you become upset when someone says something untrue about you, something that seems to attack you, to slander you, to accuse you, to portray you as unfairly guilty, or to label you with something derogatory? Why are you upset if its not true?
The truth is, even though you are to some degree aware that it is not true, you're upset because some part of YOU does believe it is true.
If you didn't believe it, you'd just laugh. You wouldn't take it seriously. You'd KNOW with so much certainty that it's just ridiculous and completely false, that it wouldn't even seem to touch you or engage with you at all.... like it's got nothing to do with you.
But you DO think it's got something to do with you. On some level, deeper down, there is some part of you that actually thinks there is truth to what someone has said about you, even if you are simultaneously horrified and upset and are claiming that it's completely false in a very intense way.
You could be experience a very intense sense of it being unfair, of the slander being vicious, of the person being totally nuts in their accusations, and all of this other framing of the situation that makes it looks like they are wrong and you are not... and yet, you're still upset, despite your claims about how mistaken they are.
You don't really, really, really believe that they are mistaken, you actually believe that they are REAL, and what is real is true. So if you are 'really' being attacked, then you are being attacked with truth, and you believe in this truth so you will be upset. What you receive as real will strike you as the truth and you will accept it. i.e., you took it seriously and didn't overlook/forgive it.
And so this boils down to this simple fact: you are upset because YOU believe these things about YOURSELF.
So then it's really not so much anything to do with what anyone else has said or done. It's not really that they have accused you of something so incredibly - potentially - hurtful. It's not that there is even some kind of inherent attack-power embedded into their slander, or some kind of force in their words that can actually come into you and MAKE true whatever they are judging you for.
Instead, it all boils down to your own beliefs about yourself - your own sense of identity. Has this *attempted* attack got anything to do with what I AM? If it hasn't, because I'm clear about what I am, and I am immortal spirit, and I am eternally innocent, then in that clear identity I have absolutely no grounds for even thinking that it's got something to do with me.
But if I do not believe in my own innocence, if I myself am actually in some way AGAINST MYSELF, or have undermined myself, or think of myself as unworthy or not good enough, or think that I don't deserve love, or I don't like something about myself, you can bet that when someone comes along to appear to provoke you, you WILL think that it has something to do with who and what you are - you will think that they're talking about YOU and you will 'take it' as an attack on that identity.
So you can see this in people who are very against themselves, who have a lot of self-hate or self-loathing or low worth etc. When someone seems to attack them or judge them, they become very upset very quickly. This is because they themselves very strongly believe in and AGREE WITH what the other person is claiming is true of them.
The person is so upset by the stimuli because they themselves are very upset about their own self, they are upset about how they see themselves, they are already walking around with a huge baggage of pain and suffering within themselves that they feel very badly about, and this is now tapped into by the other person.
The pimple then seems to pop and the cover of denial laid over the top of this mountain of self-attack is taken off, and out pours the gush of a "reaction"... which typically is then blamed on and projected on and targeted at the other person, as though they created all of it.
But all the other person is doing.... is nothing. Absolutely nothing. They're just showing up and mirroring back to you a reflection of what YOU think of yourself. People will come into your life "as if by magic", attracted to the vibrational frequency or mental focus of content in your mind, that reflect to you what you currently think of yourself. And you will hate them for doing this, because you hate yourself. And each time they come along and seemingly do TO you what YOU are already doing to YOURSELF, you don't like it. And the only reason you don't like it is because they are doing to you exactly what you're already doing to you.
And so even if you are upset, deep down you in some way must agree with that person, even if they seem to be a horrible enemy, otherwise, why would you be upset? Why would you be having a reaction, if their judgements were completely false and you knew it? Why would you lose your peace and blow up in a rage or whatever if you're calmly certain that that person is very mistaken about who you are, and you are very clear about who you are? And I don't mean, clear about your ego self, but clear about your REAL self as God created you - innocent immortal spirit. Your real identity.
So every time you get upset, and it seems like someone caused it, it just means that YOU HIRED SOMEONE to come along (attracted them mentally) to come and point out, within you, what it is that you believe is true, about yourself and God, so that you will become aware of what is in you, and get an opportunity to question it. Is it really true? Do I really want to hold onto this belief? And if all you're doing at that point is falling for the appearance that someone else is causing everything you're feeling, then you've totally missed the point. And you're being dishonest.
It's more honest to step back and look at why you are upset. You are upset because you believe that your worst enemy's attack is actually true of you and deserved by you. You actually want it. You chose it. You asked for it. Yes you did. And that means that they're not actually doing it 'to' you, as much as YOU have done it to you. And since you're the one who actually believes this bullshit about yourself, YOU are the one who needs some correction. The other person is only there to "trigger" you, to draw your attention to areas of yourself where you thought you were pure but are not, or areas where you believe bullshit that needs to be purified. They're helping you. They're actually on your side, in the bigger scheme of things. And you hired them to do so. All those enemies of yours? They're your servants.
So at some point you have to get past this fireworks of blame and denial and projection, and take some responsibility. It's you that believes you suck and are not worth shit. When someone does something to highlight this, you should be thanking them. AND then you should work on undoing YOUR belief that this is true. If you are upset, you DO believe it is true, and you DO agree with them, no matter what you are experiencing and no matter how much you think this is not the case. If you are upset, you are believing something untrue about yourself, and the only way to be not upset is to undo that.
So yes, it's not anyone else's fault that you're upset. Look at yourself. What have you decided about yourself? What is it you believe about yourself?
Because if what the other person has 'done to you' is not the truth, then why are you still upset? It MUST be because you actually don't FULLY believe that it's not true. Some part of you agrees and some part of you has attacked your own self.
And what this will lead to is the simple insight, that ALL of your upset is really the result of your own belief about yourself, and NONE of it is really because of other people. And therefore, if you can change your own attitude about yourself, and learn to love yourself, you will be learning your LESSONS and will wake up to the truth about who you are. And then you will have peace, and you will stop putting 'helpers' in your life to provoke you "painfully". Instead your way will be made straight and Holy Spirit will go before you to smooth the way, such that nothing is about your little ego self anymore and you are fully convinced of your own innocence.
Not until you are fully convinced of your own innocence will you cease to be upset when other people accuse you of guilt. But when you get there, you will experience invulnerability, confidence, empowerment, peace and immortality.
To put your money where your mouth is, requires that you step up and DEMONSTRATE the truth, by showing in PHYSICAL FORM, PROOF AND EVIDENCE, that what you believe you REALLY believe, it cannot be refuted, and no-one can deny it. We have to learn to SHOW what we have learned.
I love this list of demonstration-related quotes, because it really speaks to how we are to SHOW people that the truth is true through PHYSICAL manifestations of miracles. Jesus providing there is no death by resurrecting the body, is the ultimate example.
ACIM:
"The resurrection of the world awaits your healing and your happiness, that you may DEMONSTRATE the healing of the world."
"Pain is a sign illusions reign in place of truth. It DEMONSTRATES God is denied, confused with fear, perceived as mad and seen as traitor to Himself."
"The world recedes as we light up our minds, and realize these holy words are true. They are the message sent to us today from our Creator. Now we DEMONSTRATE how they have changed our minds about ourselves and what our function is. For as we prove that we accept no will we do not share, our many gifts from our Creator will spring to our sight and leap into our hands, and we recognize what we received."
"This does Atonement teach, and DEMONSTRATES the oneness of God’s Son is unassailed by his belief he knows not what he is."
"Sickness would prove that lies must be the truth. But healing DEMONSTRATES that truth is true."
"So healing, never needed by the truth, must DEMONSTRATE that sickness is not real."
"Healing is freedom. For it DEMONSTRATES that dreams will not prevail against the truth. Healing is shared. And by this attribute it proves that laws unlike the ones which hold that sickness is inevitable are more potent than their sickly opposites."
"It is this fact which DEMONSTRATES that time is an illusion."
"Concepts maintain the world. But they can not be used to DEMONSTRATE the world is real. For all of them are made within the world, born in its shadow, growing in its ways, and finally "maturing" in its thought."
"The miracle is means to DEMONSTRATE that all appearances can change because they are appearances, and cannot have the changelessness reality entails. The miracle attests salvation from appearances by SHOWING they can change."
"The miracle is proof he is not bound by loss or suffering in any form, because it can so easily be CHANGED. This DEMONSTRATES that it was never real, and could not stem from his reality. For that is changeless, and has no effects which anything in Heaven or on earth could ever alter. But appearances are shown to be unreal BECAUSE they change."
"Like EVERY lesson that the Holy Spirit requests you learn, the miracle is clear. It DEMONSTRATES what He would have you learn, and SHOWS you its effects are what you WANT. In its forgiving dream, are the EFFECTS of yours undone, and hated enemies perceived as friends, with merciful intent."
"Pain DEMONSTRATES the body must be real. It is a loud, obscuring voice, whose shrieks would silence what the Holy Spirit says, and keep His words from your awareness. Pain compels attention, drawing it away from Him, and focusing upon itself. Its purpose is the same as pleasure, for they both are means TO MAKE THE BODY REAL."
"Health is the witness unto health. As long as it is unattested, it remains without conviction. Only when DEMONSTRATED has it BEEN proved, and MUST compel belief. No-one is healed through double messages. If you wish ONLY to be healed, you heal. Your single PURPOSE makes this possible. But if you are AFRAID of healing, then it cannot come through you. The ONLY thing that is required for a healing is a lack of fear. The fearful are NOT healed, and cannot heal. This does NOT mean the conflict must be gone forever from your mind. For if it were, there were no NEED for healing anymore. But it DOES mean, if only for an instant, you love without attack. An instant is sufficient. Miracles wait not on time."
"The holy instant is the miracle’s abiding-place. From there, each one is born into this world, as witness to a state of mind which has TRANSCENDED conflict, and has reached to peace. It carries comfort from the place of peace into the battle-ground, and DEMONSTRATES that war has no effects. For all the hurt that war has sought to bring; the broken bodies and the shattered limbs, the screaming dying and the silent dead, are gently lifted up and comforted. There IS no sadness, where a miracle has come to heal. And nothing more than just ONE instant of your love WITHOUT attack is necessary, that all this occur."
"Forgiveness is not real UNLESS it brings a healing to your brother AND yourself. YOU must attest his sins had no effect on YOU, to DEMONSTRATE they were not real. How else COULD he be guiltless? And how COULD his innocence be justified UNLESS his sins have no effect to WARRANT guilt?
Sins are beyond forgiveness just BECAUSE they would entail effects which CANNOT be undone and overlooked entirely. In their UNDOING lies the PROOF that they were merely errors. LET yourself be healed, that you may be forgiving, offering salvation to your brother AND yourself. A broken body shows the mind has NOT been healed. A miracle of healing proves that separation is WITHOUT effect."
"God gives no special favors, and no one has any powers that are not available to everyone. Only by tricks of magic are special powers "demonstrated."" (talking about psychic powers/magic vs miracles)
"Healing is always certain. It is impossible to let illusions be brought to truth and keep the illusions. Truth DEMONSTRATES illusions have no value."
"When this occurs, the body becomes its weapon, used AGAINST this Purpose to DEMONSTRATE the "fact" that separation HAS occurred."
"The holy instant is the shining example, the clear and unequivocal DEMONSTRATION of the meaning of EVERY relationship, and EVERY situation SEEN AS A WHOLE."
"This power INSTANTLY transforms ALL situations into one sure and continuous means for ESTABLISHING His purpose, and DEMONSTRATING its reality. What has been DEMONSTRATED has called for faith, and has been GIVEN it. Now it becomes a fact, from which faith can no longer BE withheld."
"Concern yourselves not with the EXTENSION of holiness, for the nature of miracles you do NOT understand. Nor do you DO them. It is their extension, far beyond the limits you perceive, that DEMONSTRATES you did not do them."
"Miracles demonstrate that learning has occurred under the right guidance, for learning is invisible, and what has been learned can be recognized only by its RESULTS. Its GENERALIZATION is DEMONSTRATED as you use it in more and more situations."
"That is why the recognition of your OWN invulnerability is so important in the restoration of your sanity. For if you accept your invulnerability, you are recognizing that attack HAS no effect. Although you have attacked yourself, and very brutally, you will DEMONSTRATE that NOTHING HAPPENED. Therefore, by attacking, you have NOT DONE ANYTHING."
" Thereby you teach yourself that fear does not exist IN YOU, for you have in YOURSELF, the means for removing it, and have DEMONSTRATED this by GIVING it."
"To teach the WHOLE Sonship WITHOUT EXCEPTION DEMONSTRATES that you PERCEIVE ITS WHOLENESS and have learned that it IS One."
"If the mind can heal the body, but the body cannot heal the mind, then the mind must be STRONGER. Every miracle DEMONSTRATES this."
"That is because the Holy Spirit IS one, and anyone who listens is inevitably led to DEMONSTRATE His way for ALL."
"The ego cannot withstand the conditioning process, because the process itself DEMONSTRATES that there is another way."
"My trust in you is greater than yours in me at the moment, but it will not always be that way. Your mission is very simple. You have been chosen to live so as to DEMONSTRATE that You are NOT an ego."
"We said before that the purpose of the Resurrection was to "DEMONSTRATE that no amount of misperception has any influence at all on a Son of God." This DEMONSTRATION EXONERATES those who misperceive, by establishing beyond doubt that they have NOT hurt anyone. "
"The Resurrection DEMONSTRATED that NOTHING can destroy truth. Good can withstand ANY form of evil, because light abolishes ALL forms of darkness. The Atonement is thus the perfect lesson. It is the final demonstration that all of the other lessons which I taught are true."
"Death is a human affirmation of a belief in hate. That is why the Bible says "There is no death," and that is why I DEMONSTRATED that death does not exist."