When someone says or does something that you judge and perceive as wrong, you become upset.
In your upset, you claim that you are upset because they said or did something that was wrong - i.e. something incorrect, something that is a mistake, or something untrue.
But, even though YOU are claiming to believe that this thing is untrue and wrong, you are still upset.
Why are you upset, if what the person said is not true? Why do you become upset when someone says something untrue about you, something that seems to attack you, to slander you, to accuse you, to portray you as unfairly guilty, or to label you with something derogatory? Why are you upset if its not true?
The truth is, even though you are to some degree aware that it is not true, you're upset because some part of YOU does believe it is true.
If you didn't believe it, you'd just laugh. You wouldn't take it seriously. You'd KNOW with so much certainty that it's just ridiculous and completely false, that it wouldn't even seem to touch you or engage with you at all.... like it's got nothing to do with you.
But you DO think it's got something to do with you. On some level, deeper down, there is some part of you that actually thinks there is truth to what someone has said about you, even if you are simultaneously horrified and upset and are claiming that it's completely false in a very intense way.
You could be experience a very intense sense of it being unfair, of the slander being vicious, of the person being totally nuts in their accusations, and all of this other framing of the situation that makes it looks like they are wrong and you are not... and yet, you're still upset, despite your claims about how mistaken they are.
You don't really, really, really believe that they are mistaken, you actually believe that they are REAL, and what is real is true. So if you are 'really' being attacked, then you are being attacked with truth, and you believe in this truth so you will be upset. What you receive as real will strike you as the truth and you will accept it. i.e., you took it seriously and didn't overlook/forgive it.
And so this boils down to this simple fact: you are upset because YOU believe these things about YOURSELF.
So then it's really not so much anything to do with what anyone else has said or done. It's not really that they have accused you of something so incredibly - potentially - hurtful. It's not that there is even some kind of inherent attack-power embedded into their slander, or some kind of force in their words that can actually come into you and MAKE true whatever they are judging you for.
Instead, it all boils down to your own beliefs about yourself - your own sense of identity. Has this *attempted* attack got anything to do with what I AM? If it hasn't, because I'm clear about what I am, and I am immortal spirit, and I am eternally innocent, then in that clear identity I have absolutely no grounds for even thinking that it's got something to do with me.
But if I do not believe in my own innocence, if I myself am actually in some way AGAINST MYSELF, or have undermined myself, or think of myself as unworthy or not good enough, or think that I don't deserve love, or I don't like something about myself, you can bet that when someone comes along to appear to provoke you, you WILL think that it has something to do with who and what you are - you will think that they're talking about YOU and you will 'take it' as an attack on that identity.
So you can see this in people who are very against themselves, who have a lot of self-hate or self-loathing or low worth etc. When someone seems to attack them or judge them, they become very upset very quickly. This is because they themselves very strongly believe in and AGREE WITH what the other person is claiming is true of them.
The person is so upset by the stimuli because they themselves are very upset about their own self, they are upset about how they see themselves, they are already walking around with a huge baggage of pain and suffering within themselves that they feel very badly about, and this is now tapped into by the other person.
The pimple then seems to pop and the cover of denial laid over the top of this mountain of self-attack is taken off, and out pours the gush of a "reaction"... which typically is then blamed on and projected on and targeted at the other person, as though they created all of it.
But all the other person is doing.... is nothing. Absolutely nothing. They're just showing up and mirroring back to you a reflection of what YOU think of yourself. People will come into your life "as if by magic", attracted to the vibrational frequency or mental focus of content in your mind, that reflect to you what you currently think of yourself. And you will hate them for doing this, because you hate yourself. And each time they come along and seemingly do TO you what YOU are already doing to YOURSELF, you don't like it. And the only reason you don't like it is because they are doing to you exactly what you're already doing to you.
And so even if you are upset, deep down you in some way must agree with that person, even if they seem to be a horrible enemy, otherwise, why would you be upset? Why would you be having a reaction, if their judgements were completely false and you knew it? Why would you lose your peace and blow up in a rage or whatever if you're calmly certain that that person is very mistaken about who you are, and you are very clear about who you are? And I don't mean, clear about your ego self, but clear about your REAL self as God created you - innocent immortal spirit. Your real identity.
So every time you get upset, and it seems like someone caused it, it just means that YOU HIRED SOMEONE to come along (attracted them mentally) to come and point out, within you, what it is that you believe is true, about yourself and God, so that you will become aware of what is in you, and get an opportunity to question it. Is it really true? Do I really want to hold onto this belief? And if all you're doing at that point is falling for the appearance that someone else is causing everything you're feeling, then you've totally missed the point. And you're being dishonest.
It's more honest to step back and look at why you are upset. You are upset because you believe that your worst enemy's attack is actually true of you and deserved by you. You actually want it. You chose it. You asked for it. Yes you did. And that means that they're not actually doing it 'to' you, as much as YOU have done it to you. And since you're the one who actually believes this bullshit about yourself, YOU are the one who needs some correction. The other person is only there to "trigger" you, to draw your attention to areas of yourself where you thought you were pure but are not, or areas where you believe bullshit that needs to be purified. They're helping you. They're actually on your side, in the bigger scheme of things. And you hired them to do so. All those enemies of yours? They're your servants.
So at some point you have to get past this fireworks of blame and denial and projection, and take some responsibility. It's you that believes you suck and are not worth shit. When someone does something to highlight this, you should be thanking them. AND then you should work on undoing YOUR belief that this is true. If you are upset, you DO believe it is true, and you DO agree with them, no matter what you are experiencing and no matter how much you think this is not the case. If you are upset, you are believing something untrue about yourself, and the only way to be not upset is to undo that.
So yes, it's not anyone else's fault that you're upset. Look at yourself. What have you decided about yourself? What is it you believe about yourself?
Because if what the other person has 'done to you' is not the truth, then why are you still upset? It MUST be because you actually don't FULLY believe that it's not true. Some part of you agrees and some part of you has attacked your own self.
And what this will lead to is the simple insight, that ALL of your upset is really the result of your own belief about yourself, and NONE of it is really because of other people. And therefore, if you can change your own attitude about yourself, and learn to love yourself, you will be learning your LESSONS and will wake up to the truth about who you are. And then you will have peace, and you will stop putting 'helpers' in your life to provoke you "painfully". Instead your way will be made straight and Holy Spirit will go before you to smooth the way, such that nothing is about your little ego self anymore and you are fully convinced of your own innocence.
Not until you are fully convinced of your own innocence will you cease to be upset when other people accuse you of guilt. But when you get there, you will experience invulnerability, confidence, empowerment, peace and immortality.
Here's something that is very radical to many people. And this will sound crazy and ridiculous. But here is a fact.
Anything that seems to happen in this world is taking place in a dream, has NO REAL CONSEQUENCES, and does not cause anything to really happen. Ever!
Mind... "It dreams of time; an interval in which what seems to happen (ANYTHING YOU DO) never has occurred, the changes wrought (sins you commit) are substance-less, and all events (every consequence you seem to cause, ANYTHING that occurs) are nowhere."
Sin occurs in this world, through the body. "The world of bodies is the world of sin, for only if there were a body is sin possible."
And this means, any SIN that you committed here, through your body, anything you DID TO SOMEONE, anything that you "hurt", any damage you inflicted, anything you CAUSED here, any mistakes you made, any names you called people, any arguments you had, any attacks you perpetrated, anything murderous you committed, any crime, any hateful relationship, any accusation, ALL OF IT... HAS NOT HAPPENED IN REALITY.
This leads to a simple fact, relating to your HEALING. A REQUIREMENT for healing, remembering that only the ATONEMENT can be said to truly CURE you of this sense of "I sinned"....
YOU WILL NOT be able to LET GO of WHAT YOU DID IN SPACETIME, UNTIL you are able to recognize, believe, and accept, that you DID NOT DO what you think you did.
This truth flies in the face of everything that your senses are telling you. It flies in the face of all evidence, all proof, all consequences. It flies in the face of the ramifications, fallout, consequences, chain reactions, effects, and all outcomes that seemed to be set in motion "because of what you did".
It literally means that you MUST DENY, WITH TRUTH, that you DID what you think you did. You MUST DENY all of the consequences and all "proof". This is where it becomes radical and seemingly ridiculously crazy, because in order to accept the ATONEMENT truth that THERE IS NO SIN, or that NOTHING HAPPENED, you HAVE to IGNORE all of this so-called "evidence".
In fact, you have to get your mind to the point where you recognize that "what you did" (sin) in space and time, in the past, or what you are doing now, IS NOT HAPPENING and DID NOT HAPPEN IN REALITY. Because this world IS NOT REALITY. This world has to BE not reality, IN ORDER FOR the atonement to be true. Because you can't be accepting that what bodies do is REAL and expect to escape from sin. It's impossible!
You MUST not believe in anything that has happened in this world otherwise EVERYTHING that "has happened" is the literal unquestionable, irreversible sinful truth. If bodies and what bodies DO is real or has any truth in it, it CANNOT be undone. If bodily activities have REAL consequences, real effects, the body is CAUSAL. Which makes sin real. Anything the body does is effectively sin, even breathing. It must be recognized as NOT REAL otherwise sin becomes real.
The body and its sins were the entire device by which we TRIED TO MAKE SIN REAL. We made bodies in order to have something to attack WITH. Bodies attacking bodies, sinning against bodies. We made bodies in order to try to prove that SINS HAPPEN. That sins produce PROOF and EVIDENCE that "something happened". Something you can look at with the body, and point to with the body's finger, and label as "THAT EVIDENCE PROVES THERE WAS A SIN". The world's entire "legal" system is based on this lie.
So it's very radical but until you can get to the point where you recognize and correctly frame your DEEDS as "DID NOT OCCUR IN REALITY"... that NOTHING REAL was threatened, that reality has not been hurt or damaged or caused BY you, you will find that you CANNOT LET GO. You won't be able to let go of a feeling of guilt, inferiority, unworthiness, shame, fear etc. In fact, until this is accepted fully and completely we cannot let go of death.
The atonement CURES. FULLY! It literally ERASES all trace of sin and death and makes them IMPOSSIBLE. And "only atonement can be said to cure." It is a REAL CURE, because it uproots the ENTIRE "event" that you think happened. It recognized, AS FORGIVENESS, that what you think you did YOU DID NOT DO, IT DID NOT HAPPEN, IT WAS NOT REAL, IT DID NOT TAKE PLACE IN REALITY, YOU DID NOT SIN AND THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES. And therefore, you MUST STILL BE INNOCENT.
This leads to the recognition, and acceptance, and allowance, that GOD STILL FINDS YOU INNOCENT, and therefore that God still loves you! That you ACCEPT GOD'S TRUTH. You will ONLY be able accept the love of God by accepting that you have NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG. Any belief that you sinned, you will hold as PROOF that you CANNOT BE LOVED because you find yourself unworthy of love, because you are not innocent enough. You will reason that God DOES NOT, SHOULD NOT, AND CANNOT love you, because you "really did sin". And "real sin" IS a belief in unforgiveness. Not merely the belief that you DID something, but also the belief that IT CANNOT BE UNDONE.
**MIRACLES** are the movement towards forgiveness, as atonement, which UNDOES what the world of sin testifies can never be undone. This DIRECTLY ties into the fact that you MUST DEMONSTRATE THE ABSENCE OF PROOF OF SIN in order to TRULY believe and live the truth that you did not cause sinful effects. TRUE forgiveness heals the mind, AND ERASES THE EVIDENCE. Proof that "it happened" cannot remain. In the acceptance that you DID NOT DO what you think you did, you are setting in motion the UNDOING of the consequences. The Holy Spirit HAS the power to undo ALL the consequences of your sinful decisions if you will let him.
To set yourself free from GUILT, you MUST accept the CURE of the atonement. You must accept that you DID NOT SIN. Not that you "did something but it wasn't sinful". But rather that you WERE MISTAKEN TO BELIEVE THAT YOU DID IT AT ALL! Yes, this means you must accept that it did not really OCCUR. That any "occurrence" was A DREAM. It was an ILLUSION of a sin "happening". It did NOT HAPPEN in reality and so did not really happen at all. What your BODY told you HAPPENED was a LIE! This requires you to QUESTION even your OWN EVIDENCE, even your MEMORY, even lingering "physical proof", that seems to "tell you" that you really DID do something that you can't deny.
YOU MUST DENY THAT SIN HAPPENED. Sin is impossible! You must deny that you ever DID anything here at all. We are ONLY dreaming of a made up fantasy world in which MADE UP FANTASY STUFF seems to happen. NONE of it is really happening. NO ONE IS GUILTY. NO ONE HAS **EVER** SINNED. All sin is an illusion and a lie. EVERYONE IS PERMANENTLY INNOCENT. Accepting that is the ONLY way to become WILLING TO LET THE SIN GO, because only by recognizing it WAS NOT REALLY SIN will you ALLOW yourself to forgive yourself.
Accepting your innocence is your goal and it will HEAL YOU and set you FREE FROM ALL SUFFERING. This is why accepting atonement is your number one responsibility. It is the only act that FINALLY WORKS. ONLY accepting atonement can truly CURE YOU! It has the power to undo sin and death and restore your IMMORTALITY.
YOU ARE INNOCENT AND HOLY FOREVER. GOD CREATED YOU INNOCENT AND HOLY FOREVER. Accepting that this is TRUE, CURES the separation.
"Thus does the miracle undo all things the world attests can never BE undone (anything you DID!). And ***hopelessness and death MUST disappear*** before the ancient clarion call of life. This call has power FAR beyond the weak and miserable cry of death and guilt. The ancient Calling of the Father to His Son, and of the Son unto his own, will yet be the last trumpet that the world will ever hear. Brother, there is no death. And this you learn when you but wish to ***show your brother that you had no hurt of him***. He thinks your blood is on his hands, and so he stands condemned. But it is given you to ***SHOW him, by your healing***, that his guilt is but the fabric of a senseless dream."
"***Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred*** (HAS NOT OCCURRED!!!). It does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees ***there was no sin*** (YOU DID NOT DO ANYTHING EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU DID!!!) And in this view are all your sins forgiven. What is sin except a false idea about God's Son? Forgiveness merely sees its falsity, and therefore lets it go. What then is free to take its place is now the Will of God."
"I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace.
I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise.
I want to decide otherwise, because I want to be at peace.
I do not feel guilty, because ***the Holy Spirit will undo all the consequences of my wrong decision if I will let Him***.
I choose to let Him, by allowing Him to decide for God for me."
It is impossible to scapegoat or blame someone, because you are only attacking yourself.
Even in your ego denial and delusions you are not attacking anyone else, and they are not attacking you.
You can't really leave your mind, to go outside of it, to then attack another separate self. There is nothing outside of it.
It's useful as a stage of learning about forgiveness to realize that you scapegoat, and that you keep projecting blame onto others.
But you will also realize at some point, you never really WERE blaming anyone else. You were blaming yourself. You were hallucinating that it was "not you" that was receiving the effects of the blame, but it really was you, and not them at all.
You were attacking yourself, even if you pretended you were attacking another.
And so you literally were doing unto yourself as you would have yourself do unto you.
You haven't successfully blamed anyone. You just think you have.
You have received all of the effects of your attacks, and no-one else. And no-one else has ever successfully attacked you, because real attack is impossible.
This is why you need to forgive yourself for having not really sinned. It's only because you believe you are really sinful that you even conceive of scapegoating (being in denial) in the first place.
Good luck trying to get someone else to take the blame for what you believe you did. You will still believe you're sinful even if you pretend you don't believe it. Deep down you believe you are just as sinful. Your attempt to blame, project and scapegoat is your attempt to DENY IT TO YOURSELF, so that YOU don't have awareness that you DO BELIEVE in your own sinfulness.
No matter what you do you are innocent!
This is true, but it is grossly misunderstood and misused by the ego.
In order for this truth to apply, you have to BE in your innocence. It can't be intellectual. You can't use it to justify murder.
You first have to get yourself into your innocence, so that your innocent isn't just an informational fact, it's an experiential fact. And in order to experience innocence, that places you in the mind and being of LOVE.
It is not possible to experience such innocence without aligning yourself with love.
Therefore, once you ARE aligned with love, you are in your innocence, and whatever you do WILL be innocent. Or to put it another way, no matter what you do, it WILL be loving - and it will never prove you are guilty.
It's only when you take this fact and try to apply it to life without the experience/alignment with its truth (truth is an experience not intellectual information!), that you distort it and then use to justify actions that you perform not based on love, such as that it is okay to hurt someone or "do bad things" etc.
When you do that, you have "level confusion". You've attempted to take something that it is a truth on a higher level of metaphysics, which can only be *experiential*, and are attempting to apply it to a level of existence that is not experiential, where there is separation between you and the truth. And that's why it turns into justification for war. And this is also why religions have led to more wars than most any other cause.
No matter what you do, you are innocent, free, forgiven, loved and loving. But if you're not truly authentically living from such a state of being, then beware your ego's misuse of it.
Fear has the potential to paralyze you. It stops people from living. It keeps people imprisoned in their own homes.
People affected by fear can avoid doing certain things many, many times over, missing out on countless experiences, interactions and relationships.
Afraid one day, afraid many days, afraid for months or even years, and allowing this fear to run your life, there comes to be an entire "life" that you could've lived but you didn't, systematically avoiding it one opportunity at a time.
I've seen this happen to a number of people, whose ability to enjoy a full life is almost permanently destroyed by fear. That includes me - I used to be so afraid of people and of living life.
So many things which could've happened but didn't, because fear said it must be avoided. Or fear said it was a threat, or dangerous, or would upset someone, or that it would lead to punishment.
Fear is always about the believed threat of some form of punishment or attack that you *perceive* is going to happen. You're sure it will happen because you yourself believe that you are guilty, for whatever reason. Actually the only reason is because deep down you believed you have sinned. But sins are forgivable because they aren't real, and one who would punish you is a sinner themselves.
You don't have to live in fear your entire life. Fear is an illusion. It isn't real or founded in reality. It's a psychological condition of temporary insanity, projection and denial. It's a choice to disown yourself, and what ends up being disowned is your life that you're not living.
Don't let fear lock you in a prison today. Set yourself free.
Heaven = "Logical AND" e.g.
"I have everything, AND so do you"
"God is made of love, AND so am I"
Ego World = "Logical Exclusive OR"
In ego, no two objects share anything. You can say something like:
(ObjectA but NOT ObjectB) OR (ObjectB but NOT ObjectA)
The ego combines negation "NOT" in order to exclude, and combines it with selection between two things "OR", which doesn't allow for "BOTH", producing an "exclusive OR" - a fundamental state of inequality and difference.
When one thing is one way, it MUST be different to another thing, therefore the other thing is not the same. e.g.
"An apple is not an orange"
"Its either an apple or an orange but not both"
"I have the apple, therefore you do not"
This entire universe and all the "laws" within it are based on this ego logic of "exclusion".
The entirety of Heaven is based on the simple logic of "inclusion", which is the logical "AND" operation.
ACIM asks us to learn to "think like God": "To think like God is to share His certainty of what you are. And to CREATE like Him is to share the perfect love He shares with YOU. To this the Holy Spirit leads you, that your joy may be complete because the Kingdom of God is whole."
Wholeness, and sharing, entail "AND". We BOTH have everything. Me AND you. When it stops being AND and goes into "either or but not both", you're going into ego.
It should be obvious that Heaven is all about "inclusiveness" and Earth/this universe we made is all about "exclusiveness". That is why "Heaven and Earth are opposites in every way."
Your main problem is one of identity. You've attempted to change your identity from Christ, to take on a new identity as an ego.
Your sense of your "Self" has become associated with, attached to, and confused with, an alternative model of identity.
The ego is nothing but a device, a contraption you invented like a vehicle. It's something for you to cling to and to try to model yourself on. It does absolutely nothing on its own. It is lifeless.
It's not until you attempt to become joined with the ego, as though becoming one with it, that it becomes a problem.
If you think of it as a costume (like the body), it's not until you actually wear it that it seems to change how you express yourself.
Or, like a pair of goggles, it's not until you put the goggles over your eyes that your perception is changed. You can put them down again at any time and immediately resume normal vision.
You, as a Child of God, bring your sense of Self with you wherever you go. Your Self is your identity. The ego has no real self at all. However, if you bring your sense of Self to the ego and merge with it, you combine your sense of Self with its way of filtering reality. You then see "through" it, and see in the way that it would see if it had its own ability to see.
It is only your own ability to see - awareness - that you combine with the ego, that seems to give the ego perception. It is only your own ability to experience - being - that you combine with the ego, that seems to give the ego the ability to experience. It is only your own power which you share with the ego, which seems to give the ego power. It only shares any of this with you while you are joined with it, and as soon as you take it off, it would just drop to the floor lifelessly. Just like the body.
The problem is, when you've put your ability to experience and your sense of Self into the ego, trying to cling to it tightly as though making you become like it, you will now experience life through its eyes. Whatever it sees or how it looks at things or what it wants or how it values or what it believes, now becomes your experience. And you will see reality as very frightening when you look with the ego!
That's a problem because the ego's way of looking at reality is completely backwards. Seeing life through its eyes you will instantly reject God. God will suddenly seem to be an attacker, an enemy and a threat. The truth will suddenly seem like it is against you. The truth will come across as being the complete opposite of what you are, because it does not contain any separation, and the ego identifies with being made of separation. So the truth will then seem to be an affront, highly offensive, dangerous, hideous, and like some monster come to destroy the ego.
You, as immortal spirit, using and attached to the ego, ... if you attempt to become more spiritual while still wearing the ego identity, ie still joined with the ego mind and still looking through the ego goggles, will have a pretty interesting experience. You will not want to wake up. You will see any efforts to wake up as harmful and hurtful. You will interpret efforts to wake up as suicidal and sacrificial. And you will become afraid that the truth is coming along to destroy you. This can potentially provoke you to put up defenses against the truth, producing sickness and ultimately death.
This is precisely what you will experience each time you try to open up to more truth. Each time you let in some light. Each time you want to become closer to God. You, attached to the ego, inadvertently try to bring the ego into that light with you. It cannot go there and it won't go there. It will see it as you trying to destroy it. And it will put up a fight. Part of you which seems not to be in the ego gets closer to the light, and the part of you which does not want to let go of the ego - believing it is your Self - kicks and screams and resists and hates you for it.
This produces the ego rebound. Essentially, the ego rebound comes from trying to make the ego more spiritual, by attempting to bring it closer to its opponent. While you are identified with it, your attempt to go visit God without leaving the ego behind will create an elastic effect which will snap you back into the body and you will subsequently rage because of how you did such a horrible thing to your "self".
Waking up must entail the letting GO of the ego, recognizing that it is not your identity. Otherwise, each time you pull your "Self" into the light, and thus the ego with you, it's going to hurt. The ego cannot see the truth in any other way. It only sees the opposite of the truth as being true. It will never change. The ONLY way to be free of it is to let it go, to stop being it, stop wearing it, stop looking through it, and stop using it. We have to learn that the ego is NOT our "Self".
So this is purely a matter of identity. Are you made of ego? Is your Self really separate from God? Who are you? Are you Christ? Are you a body? Are you part of the ego thought system? Are you made of sin and guilt and fear? Do you believe in what the ego believes in? It's only because you have become CONFUSED about what really is YOU, and what is the ego, that you are having to go through this struggle of "awakening'. You literally believe, through the ego, that you are trying to destroy yourself by waking up.
Sometimes when you are exposing yourself to "too much truth" or "too much Course", you'll have these ego rebounds. You kind of can't help it. You are still holding on tightly to the very thing which is clouding your judgement, while simultaneously trying to be free of it. This makes you torn. Trying to be in two thought systems at once, or two canoes. There is part of you that sincerely believes you are the ego and you are the body. The suggestion that these things don't exist frightens you.
Letting go, letting go, letting go. Stopping being ego. Surrendering the false identity. Remembering who you really are. Accepting the truth that you are Christ. Relinquishing your belief in, trust in, faith in, confusion with, and reliance on a false self that isn't really a part of your identity. You literally believe the ego is who you are. It's not. Just some clarification needed. Some discernment. Is this really true about who I really am, or is this just a misperception caused by me using the ego goggles? Is this really who I am, or is this just a body I'm wearing temporarily?
Sorting out "who you are" is what this entire process is about. Each effort to "find out" will likely be partly fruitful and partly self destructive. Each time it will potentially offend you. Gradually you will inch towards awakening. Jesus says, "most of you will come in tears".
Each time you have a rebound, try to focus on LETTING GO. Just stop to recognize that you - part of your Self that's still identified with the ego or body, has become deeply hurt and offended by what the truth said about it. IT believes that the truth is vicious and mean and disrespectful. It is scared and freaking out because it doesn't understand what the truth really means or implies.
It, seeing through the ego, sees your efforts as blasphemous and an attack, and so it feels attacked and guilty. And that's what you'll feel like when you get a rebound - attacked and hurt and guilty. Recognize that in you and have compassion for that part of you. Try to get that part of you to let go of being ego.
Try to reassure your "self" that the truth doesn't mean YOU don't exist because YOU are not the ego. Be gentle with that part of you which is just like a confused wounded animal in the corner. Be kind to it. Don't push it too far too fast, that will just hurt more.
Likely you will have to feel the feelings of the hurt that was created by "its" mis-perception of what you did. Your attempt to wake up was like an abandonment of the ego self, like a self sacrifice. It doesn't have the ability to see any other way. So take your time and rest and recover and stop pushing yourself so hard.
Gradually and gently you need to learn to just LET GO of the ego because it is not who you really are. What you'll learn about your real identity is going to be quite a surprise!
Imagine you go into a room which is just completely empty, with pure white walls, ceiling and floor. There is nothing in the room.
This room is a holo-deck, or a holographic projection room, in which very believable and real-seeming objects can show up. They can even have physical properties like weight and inertia and can be moved around and interacted with.
So you're standing there in this empty room and suddenly a chair appears out of nowhere. You go over to it and it looks incredibly realistic. You actually believe it's a "real chair". You're like, how did this chair get in here? You touch it and it feels solid, and you pick it up and move it a bit. It makes a slight noise as the legs scrape on the floor, and then you sit on it. It supports you. Very realistic. Very lifelike.
Except that it's just a hologram. It's just an illusion of a chair, being projected there by some kind of "system" that's running unseen. But it's so convincing, you're certain it's a real chair.
Another chair appears out of nowhere and sitting in this chair, there suddenly appears some person. This person must've been there all along, you reason, trying to justify how your perception can have not noticed them before, because they seem real. Their body looks real, it moves and breathes and has a pulse. The person is looking around, fidgeting and wondering what's going on.
The thing is, this other person is someone you know and that person is sick, or they have a disease, or a problem, or some kind of suffering or lack, or maybe they are dying, or are very emotionally upset. You see them, and you're like, wow, that seems so real. It really seems like that person is there, having these issues, and that it's all very tangible and realistic. You're so convinced you don't even remember that they are being projected by the same unseen system.
So then, because you know this person and they are unhappy or unhealthy in some way, you have this reaction, or a whole bunch of reactions about them. You believe their sickness is real, because it looks real, and you can maybe even see and touch it, or can see how it seems to be affecting them. And your reactions compel you to want to help or have sympathy or fix them or do something to make their suffering stop. All of these are reactions to the belief that they really are sitting there, having an unhappy time, and yet all along you don't realize - that person is not even really sitting there. It's a holographic projection of a body, just like an image in a dream. It's coming from somewhere else.
You build up this whole set of reactions and counter-measures and attempts to solve the real-seeming problem, so convinced that it's really happening and there's a real danger or threat to that person. But there isn't. It's just an image. It's not a real sickness, it's a holographic sickness. It's not real damage to their body, it's just a projected image. It's not real suffering, it's just a fictional suffering. Some system somewhere unseen is projecting all of this and making it seem very real and convincing. It's totally made-up.
Suddenly you see in the corner of the room a doorway, outside of which sits a computer, and this computer is actually projecting the images that are in the room. You can see beams of light coming from it, making the person appear, making the chairs appear, and then you notice it even making your own body appear. Your own body is even a holographic image coming from somewhere, and it's not even really there.
Realizing this, you RECOGNIZE that these images are just illusions being projected, and are not REAL. They are made up. The joke was on you. You believed them and fell for it. The other person isn't even really that body that you saw. YOU aren't even the body that you thought you were. The chairs don't even exist. It's all a trick. What you thought was real sickness was just an illusion of sickness, a holographic projection of sickness. It was nothing more than a flickering image like from a movie projector. It had no reality to it, no truth to it. It wasn't doing anything, or causing anything. It could've been switched on or off in an instant, or even removed entirely at the flip of a switch.
A little light lights up on the computer and the image of the other person suddenly disappears. In their place, another body shows up - the same person, but in a state of perfect health. This remains for a moment as you marvel at it, thinking that they are now a "real healthy body", and you have another reaction - a positive reaction but a reaction nonetheless, that the other person has been saved. But this is false as well.
And a second later the computer projects yet another image of the person back to being a sick body again. Your heart sinks, as though the whole terrible nightmare is happening over again. But then 2 seconds later, it flips back to a healthy body again. You suddenly realize again, all of these body images are not reality. None of them are true. None of them are who the person is. And the appearance of sickness is completely fictional and meaningless. If it can be switched on and off at will, there is no victimhood whatsoever.
Seeing where the dream images are coming from, who is projecting them, the falseness of their illusions, and not buying into the deception that they are REALLY THERE, frees the mind to SEE and RECOGNIZE illusions for what they are. That other person you know who you think is really sick, is not sick at all. Their body is part of a dream you are dreaming. Their sickness is not even really a real sickness. It's just a made-up image. It could be switched off in an instant. In fact Jesus tells us in the course that if we were to stop believing the lie, there is not a single sickness which would not be cured instantly.
We need to learn to recognize the nothingness of what IS nothing - this entire dream world and everything in it. It's all just a big dream. We're DREAMING! This is not reality. It is not real at all. Nothing in this world is true. It's all pretend. There is nothing of any more importance than anything else, hence no order of difficulty in miracles, because it's all just "movie" that's being projected. The mind projecting it can chop and change any part of it in an instant. It can flip between images of health and sickness simply because the body is an illusion, and what lies beyond the illusion is free of all sickness.
This is why we need to learn to recognize that sickness/disease/suffering/upset/death etc is not REALLY HAPPENING. And there is nothing about it which is so heavy and fixed and irreversible and seemingly insurmountable, that it can't be just flipped on or off at will. We need to learn to BELIEVE and PERCEIVE that all forms, and as a lesser group, all sick forms, are nothing but temporarily momentary images projected by a mind, and given the appropriate willingness and clarity of perception, those forms can be changed fully and instantly right now. We must overlook the illusions of how these forms of sickness/distortion are difficult or severe or life-threatening. That's all an illusion. Death is no more "difficult" an illusion to change than a pimple on your face. The FREEDOM to do this is what Jesus is teaching us, by helping us to SEE clearly that illusions of difficulty are completely false and don't mean anything.
Nothing I see means anything, because nothing I see in this dream is anything at all. It's all one thing. One dream, one illusion, showing up as illusions of forms and differences and a hierarchy of illusions. The hierarchy is FLAT! There is no real hierarchy. Cancer should be no more difficult to correct than a bloody nose. It should be effortless to change a car into a tree. This world has no power to prevent this capability. But while we believe the illusions that have been projected and are convinced there is such a thing as "real sickness", or "real death" or reasons "why you can't", then we are believing in the ego thought system and have not restored cause and effect to its proper order (your mind causes, the world obeys). And if we can't do this, we still have level confusion, and are sick ourselves.
There is light, and then there is the absence of light. The absence of light is what we call darkness. But darkness isn't a "something". It a lack of a something.
When light shines and hits an obstacle, it forms a shadow. But the shadow isn't the PRESENCE of darkness, it's the ABSENCE of light.
There is a cause effect relationship. The light, the source, has power over its own absence. When the light shines, it shines away the darkness. The darkness DEPENDS on the absence of light and can only seem to exist WHILE the light is absence. The darkness is a SYMPTOM of a lack of light.
Darkness itself is not a something. It has no properties of its own. It isn't there of its own will and it doesn't cause itself. The darkness cannot come into a room and blot out the light. It cannot make the light go away. Darkness has NO power whatsoever over light.
Light has total power over darkness because light would obliterate darkness, since darkness is ONLY light's absence appearing to be "something".
Let's change the working slightly.
LOVE, shines like a light, and when it seems that LOVE is absent, there is a "lack of love", similar to a darkness or a shadow. But this ABSENCE of love, is not a SOMETHING of its own. It doesn't assert itself, it has NO power, and it cannot STAY on any conditions other than that love is seemingly absent.
A lack of love, is a lack of LIFE, because LOVE IS ALIVE. Just as light is another aspect of the life of love. These are aspects of creation. So when there SEEMS to be a lack of love, there is an illusion of "life's absence". This appearance of life's absence shows up as what we typically call physical SICKNESS.
Sickness, is darkness. It is a SYMPTOM of a LACK of love, light, life. It isn't a SOMETHING in its own right. It cannot CAUSE life to go away any more than darkness can make light go away. The darkness has no power over the light, just as sickness HAS NO POWER OVER LIFE. And similarly, the seeming absence of LOVE has NO POWER to remain when LOVE is given.
Light shines away darkness. LIFE shines away DEATH. Love shines away fear. It's all the same mechanism. It's the same state of logic. Light, life, love, are CAUSES OF EXPRESSION. When they are being expressed, through extension, love, light and life are PRESENT everywhere.
When they are BLOCKED, they seem to hit an obstacle and are "obstructed". There seems to be resistance or something in the way, some unwillingness or reason why it isn't being allowed to enter. This produces a SHADOW, or a darkness, or a seeming lack of life and love.
This lack of life and love, also of power, shows up as physical illness. It represents the idea that LIFE IS DIMINISHED or that the light is dimmed. It results from a lack of the extension of love.
"Extension is the mind's only function. Block this and you have blocked health because you've blocked the minds' joy."
Whether it be brain damage or cancer or a weak heart or a skin disease or a broken leg or paralysis or diabetes or whatever.... these are just FORMS of the same thing. They are just different forms of an illusion of a "lack of life", ie a LACK OF LOVE.
Sickness is not SOMETHING in its own right, they are the LACK of a something. And that's very different. If the SOMETHING were to return, these LACKS would be FILLED, with life and love, and the appearance of the something's ABSENCE would disappear.
"Miracles supply a lack"
"Miracles are energizing"
"Miracles mean life"
"Miracles are a spark of life"
"Miracles are given by those who temporarily have more to those who temporarily have less."
Therefore, to HEAL SICKNESS in all its forms, you must recognize you are not looking at a "real something", it is not a REAL SICKNESS. It is a LACK OF HEALTH. And there is a major difference. Because HEALTH can be SUPPLIED, to address the lack. Health is LIFE, and life is the power of love, and it is light. You can GIVE LIFE to another person by supplying their lack.
This enables you to heal the sick and to raise the dead. Or in other words, to supply the LACK of life which is showing up as a withered, deformed, malfunctioning, broken corpse. And by SUPPLYING what was MISSING, which was the love/light/life/power of God, you therefore ADDRESS the actual problem.
The problem was that life was lacking and was blocked. You supplied life. There is now a PRESENCE OF LIFE. And the HOLE has been filled. And the light has been BRIGHTENED. And the love has been increased. And now the signs of life spring up and the body comes to symbolize HEALTH again, radiant and lovely and vital, representing the INCREASED HOLINESS/wholeness in the mind of the recipient.
"Miracles fall like drops of healing rain from Heaven on a dry and dusty world, where starved and thirsty creatures come to die. Now they have water. Now the world is green. And everywhere the signs of life spring up, to show that what is born can never die, for what has life has immortality."
How do you supply a lack of life, love, light to another? How do you ENLIGHTEN them? How do you ENLIVEN them? How do you ENLOVE them? You do it by SUPPLYING IT. You receive it for yourself, through your own purification and healing, and the receipt of God's power and love, and then you GIVE IT. You SUPPLY it to another. You broadcast it, send it, radiate it, transmit it to them.
"Miracles are a spark of life". You GIVE the spark of life to another person. It resurrects them from the inside out.
And where there is life, there is health. And where there is love, there is healing. And where there is light, there is truth. And love and life and light have SHONE AWAY sickness because it WAS ONLY the absence of love and light and life.
There is no sickness, just as there is no darkness. There is only life/love/light of its seeming absence. And when the life/love/light COMES to fill the emptiness, to wipe away the blocks to life, LIFE INCREASES, and healing takes place, and now there is a miracle of resurrection.
"Did you see the holiness that shone in both you and your brother, to bless the other? That is the purpose of your holy relationship."
"Father, forgiveness is the light You chose to shine away all conflict and all doubt, and light the way for our return to You."
"And in its place the Love of God can be remembered, and will shine away all memory of sacrifice and loss."
"Never allow purity to remain hidden, but shine away the heavy veils of guilt within which the Son of God has hidden himself from his own sight. "
"Let the holiness of God's Son shine away the cloud of guilt that darkens your mind, and by accepting his purity as yours, learn of him that it is yours."
"Yet He cannot shine away what you keep hidden, for you have not offered it to Him and He cannot take it from you."
"Feel this one Self in you, and let It shine away all your illusions and your doubts. This is your Self, the Son of God Himself, sinless as Its Creator, with His strength within you and His Love forever yours."
"Eternity will shine away the world."
""I am forever an Effect of God."
"Father, I was created in Your Mind, a holy Thought that never left its home. I am forever Your Effect, and You forever and forever are my Cause. As You created me I have remained. Where You established me I still abide, and all Your attributes abide in me, because it is Your Will to have a Son so like his Cause that Cause and Its Effect are indistinguishable. Let me know that I am an Effect of God, and so I have the power to create like You."
You are at the effect of absolutely nothing, except that you are forever an effect solely of God. Being an effect of God means God is the cause of everything you are. He decides what you are, He defines you, He creates you, He sustains you, and His will is constant and permanent and good.
Being an effect of God, however, doesn't mean you are ONLY an effect. Because you are so like God that you must inherit every attribute of Him. This includes the ability to CAUSE, and therefore to create. By God creating you, He has created you to BE A CREATOR. To be causal. And so you inherited His Power and can use it to create. You have done this, creating your own creations, co-created with Him and with everyone else.
It can be very powerful to focus on this. Contemplate the various ways in which you are in relationship to God. Ask yourself, if God is the cause of me, what does that mean? What does it imply? If it is true, and if nothing else is true, what does that mean? This can be very useful in clarifying your relationship with God, and the truth about you. Because only what God established as true about you can be truly true.
You are caused by God.
You have no say in what you are.
You cannot change yourself.
You are perfect because God is perfect.
You are holy and loving because God is holy and loving.
You cannot die because God cannot die.
You are sustained by God at all times.
You are permanent because God is permanently willing you.
You are welcomed and wanted by God, as what God wants.
You are exactly what God wanted you to be.
You have all power because you inherit all power from Him.
You can create like and with Him as a co-creator.
You only have what came from God.
You have nothing that God did not give you.
You have everything real because God shared it with you.
You are defined solely by His will and causation.
You can be affected by nothing but God.
You are eternal and immortal because He is.
You are constantly happy because He makes you happy.
You are a reflection of His love and nature.
You are so like Him that you share everything with Him.
You are never alone because God is in you.
You cannot be attacked because God is the only power.
You are forever safe from harm because God is harmless.
You cannot change what you are even if you try to.
Your salvation and safety are guaranteed.
Your inheritance is permanently given you.
You are what God has given and you give thanks for this.
You know God because He created you by knowing you.
You cannot be separate from Him.
You cannot be abandoned or rejected by Him.
You have freedom because He insists you be free.
You are immortal because He eternally broadcasts you.
You are forever maintained by Him in perfect condition.
Your health is guaranteed because He gives it to you.
You can never be sick or suffer because He can't.
You can't make yourself sin or be guilty.
You can never lose the innocence that He created you as.
You don't have to do anything to earn His love.
You can never sin because He makes it impossible.
You cannot transform yourself into and evil monster.
You have never changed yourself from His divine design.
You must be still totally as He created you.
You cannot be affected because of His permanence.
You are in constant joy because He created you with love.
You can never be alone because He created your brothers.
You will always be friended because He created Holy Spirit.
You will always be protected by His angels.
You can never die because He wills you live forever.
You can create worlds because He gave you that ability.
You are permanently miraculous and you are His miracle.
You are unlimited because He placed no limits on you.
You have constant peace because He keeps you safe.
You are loved forever by His Will.
You are strong because your strength is His strength.
You can see because He shines a light for you to see in.
You are beautiful because He creates you beautiful.
You share everything with everyone He creates.
You are harmless because He does not will you harm.
You can never be lost to Him, He knows where you are.
You are forever encompassed by His heavenly being.
You can never be distant from Him because He is in you.
You are all powerful because He shares His power with you.
You are real because He added you to His reality.
Your identity is defined by Him alone.
You are his Son/Daughter/Child because He created you.
You have nothing real that He did not create.
You have no faults or flaws because He created you perfect.
You lack nothing because He gave you everything.
You have no needs because He supplies all your needs.
You cannot be a body because He is not a body.
You are like God in every way because you are part of Him.
You are God's investment and you have His inheritance.
You are blessed because God has blessed you.
You are a priceless part of God's Kingdom.
You can never change or be changed or change yourself.
You are already divinely perfect and complete in every way.
You have nothing wrong with you and everything is right.
You are pure, clean and new because He creates you new.
You are immaculate and impeccable and magnificent.
You are a shining star in the heavenly Mind of God.
You are what comes from Him alone.
You can only be what he wants you to be.
You do not want to be anything other than He wills.
You have free will because divine creation is freely given.
You are free to be what God intended you to be.
You were not created capable of sin or attack.
You have never sinned or attacked or been attacked.
You cannot oppose His Will because you are His will.
You can only accept and be glad that you are as He desires.
You are forever God's effect and share His causality.
You can do what God can do.
You will always be a child of God, and not his sibling.
You are authored by God and you share His authority.
You are in awe of God because He spans your brothers.
You are a made of light because He is made of light.
You will always be loved by God and God loves you now.
"To all who share the love of God the grace is given to be the givers of what they have received. And so they learn that it is theirs forever."