To experience peace, there must be no conflict. It's just not just some state where you can still be ego and expect to have peace happen to you. Peace is the absence of war and attack. Just as love is a lack of sin. You have to be done waging war if you want to be peaceful.
If attack and war are the battleground, then to be above the battleground is to be outside of the war, in a state of peace, in which you are not warring or attacking in any way.
Beyond the war, above the battle, away from the conflict, the peaceful self that is you is not within the fight. It is not the fighter or the soldier or the defender. It is out of reach of attack because it does not attack.
And so peace is your safety because it removes you from the realm of war. And now you are far away from the war zone, untouchable and undisturbed. Peace transcends war, and is your only escape.
"Yet when peace is found, the war is meaningless. And it is conflict now that is perceived as non-existent and unreal." UrM21A3
"A tranquil mind is not a little gift. Would you not rather live than choose to die?" UrM21A4
"Every response to the ego is a call to war, and war DOES deprive you of peace." UrT8A3
"The memory of God comes to the quiet mind. It CANNOT come where there is conflict, for a mind at war against itself remembers not Eternal Gentleness. The means of war are NOT the means of peace. And what the warlike would remember is NOT love." UrT23B1
"Peace looking on itself EXTENDS itself. War is the condition in which fear is born, and grows and seeks to dominate. Peace is the state where love abides, and seeks to share itself. Conflict and peace are opposites; where one abides, the other CANNOT be; where either goes, the other disappears." UrT23B12
"In peace he needed nothing, and asked for nothing. In war he DEMANDED everything, and FOUND nothing." UrT12C12
"The holy instant is the miracle's abiding-place. From there, each one is born into this world, as witness to a state of mind which has TRANSCENDED conflict, and has reached to peace. It carries comfort from the place of peace into the battleground, and DEMONSTRATES that war has no effects." UrT27F3
"How strange indeed becomes this war against Yourself! You will believe that EVERYTHING you use for sin can hurt you, AND BECOME YOUR ENEMY. And you will fight AGAINST it, and try to weaken it, BECAUSE of this." UrT23A2
"Yet peace is stronger than war, because it heals. War is DIVISION, not increase. No-one gains from strife." UrT5D6
"What COULD you choose between, but life or death, waking or sleeping, war or peace, your dream or your reality?" UrT27H10
"Healing will flash across your open mind as peace and truth arise to take the place of war and vain imaginings." UrW136L16
"The simple and the obvious are NOT apparent to those who would make palaces and royal robes of nothing, believing they are kings with golden crowns BECAUSE of them."
Last night what came to awareness is the nature of the ego. It was shown to me as a picture of a selfish king.
The king was riding on a golden jewel-laden platform, lounging casually while being attended to by guards and servants. Eating luxuriously, wearing elaborate robes made of the finest materials, complete with jewels and gold and a crown.
He thought highly of himself, of his own self importance. He saw himself as above everyone, and because of this he really did not care to even mingle with those lesser than himself. He was distanced and cut off from the larger population, and didn't really care for anyone at all besides himself.
He wanted to live an opulent, wealthy, care-free life, waited-on and pampered and adored and worshipped as a lord. Skimming along the surface of society barely involved in anything or helping anyone, wanting nothing to do with the unclean peasants nor to barely give a single thing to anyone.
He wanted to live in his big castle with his special toys and his expensive furnishings. To be told how great he is, to sit on his portable throne and be escorted according to his shallow wishes. It seemed he had everything he wanted, having gained the whole world, sitting at the apex of the pyramid on top of a mountain of riches, and yet bereft of any real relationships with anyone.
Living out his days in the illusion of perfection and the fantasy of having everything there is worth having. Of owning and ruling over the whole kingdom, a kingdom that he had no real interest in other than to be ruler of it and exalted by it. And for all this selfishness and seeming success and wealth and grandiosity, he lived as if on a tiny island all alone and had nothing of any real value.
His life was empty and narrow and shallow and greedy. He got everything he wanted and no-one could oppose his tyranny. And so he thought himself to be of the utmost specialness, important above all others, and the greatest of all rulers. Caring not for anything he ruled over nor for the lives of others. He was fat from the feasting and lazy in his lifestyle. And he wanted nothing but to keep the lesser-kind away from himself.
He lived like a king, but he had no soul. He thought everyone wanted what he had, and that therefore everyone envied him, and therefore that he was entitled and better than all of them. And not once did he think of anyone besides himself. His castle was a prison, to keep him and his riches protected from thieves and beggars and the hungry, to keep them out and to keep him in. For he wanted only to have everything for himself.
"Would you remain WITHIN your tiny kingdom, a sorry king, a bitter ruler of all he surveys, who looks on nothing, but who would still die to DEFEND it?" "In your tiny kingdom you have so little!"
"The ego is trying to teach you how to gain the whole world, and lose your own Soul."
"What profiteth a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own Soul?"
Above the physical universe there is another dimension, another universe, operating on an entirely different mindset, and with a clarity about what is real and what is not.
From that universe, everything that is happening on the physical Earth is recognized as completely illusory. The Earth is known to be completely unreal and just a dream. It is known that everything that seems to happen here is made up, not really happening, and not to be taken seriously at all.
It is also known from that higher universe that the physical universe is very good at deceiving you, because it shows you seemingly visible stuff that happens, stuff that goes wrong, people that get hurt, accidents that seem to happen and so on. And from that higher universe everyone knows that when you're in it, unless you've maintained perfect access to the awareness of the higher universe, you will easily be fooled by the Earth's illusions.
The folk up there also know that the physical Earth paints a picture of things happening that aren't happening, and that every single part of physical matter is designed to deceive. And just as Jesus says in ACIM "nothing so blinding as sight of form", they know that the entire physical experience was designed, on purpose, to APPEAR AS IF what happens there is real. But it's not.
So the real challenge you have, as you visit the physical Earth, is that you're going to be totally BOMBARDED with signals from outside of you, perceptions, which seem to show you pictures and forms of things happening, things going wrong, people getting damaged, people dying etc. And these are going to seem really convincing. But you need to remember this one key thing and hold it so firmly to your chest that you never waver from it:
DO NOT BELIEVE ANY OF IT.
There is nothing happening on the Earth, period. Anything that appears to be happening is not real. Anything that appears to happen can be changed and undone. And anything that seems to happen is not permanent. So while you visit Earth and you think, well, it's a lovely place, and stuff just happened, and yes its real, and I believe in it, and here are the effects, and here's the proof, etc..... know you've lost your mind! You've been fooled. You fell for the illusion. And to get out of it you're going to have to re-learn through forgiveness to SEE in an entirely different way, a way that lets you see through the illusion and not believe it at all.
None of the rules of this physical world apply. None of them are real laws. Only God's laws are real. And God's laws defy absolutely every physical law known to man. That's why the application of God's laws appear to be miracles. But really a miraculous existence is entirely natural. The folks up above know this. And we can return to this awareness too as we learn that this physical world doesn't even exist at all.
You may not realize it but God has totally unlimited power. "With God all things are possible." This doesn't just mean "all ego things are possible" or "all worldly things are possible." It means literally, there is absolutely nothing you can conceive of that is impossible.
Having become accustomed to being limited by ego laws, we have a tough time with this. When for example there is a tsunami which floods an entire city, you might think, well, this is such a huge tragedy that we cannot possibly undo it.
Think again.
God can.
And so what this gives rise to is, realizing there is no order of difficulty in miracles BECAUSE God can do anything. And that means, in order to tap into that power that's in you, you're going to need to have ego-world-defying FAITH or TRUST in God's capabilities, even as they go way above and beyond what SEEMS to be possible.
So the world might be telling you, we can do nothing about this and cannot reverse it. Jesus says that these are mere appearances and that all appearances can be changed by miracles. That there needs to be not one part of the illusion that we consider capable of healing while another part is not. That even this huge seeming disaster can be completely corrected, because this TOO is possible.
Opening our minds up to these POSSIBILITIES, the freedom from all bondage and all ego laws and certainties and consequences, opens us up to having to put our FAITH in a source of power and freedom far beyond what the world suggests to us. This law-defying power is precisely what MIRACLES are for.
When someone dies and they're laying there, are we to think with the ego that "even this cannot be changed" or are we to think with God that "even this can be changed"?
To not believe the sense of limitation and difficulty and irreversibility of these `problems` IS the willingness to overlook their illusions and disregard them as having no order of difficulty at all. We need to learn that nothing is impossible with God, and to trust that, and to know this above all else, otherwise we simply will stay slave to the consequences of sin.
There is nothing God cannot do through you. There is nothing your holiness cannot do. And if that means raising the dead or completely reversing an entire tsunami, so be it. Moses parted an ocean. That's no small feat. If we simply "accept" worldly situations and bodily conditions and problems at face value as though written in stone and irreversible, we have NO FAITH at all.
Jesus is asking for us to develop not only some faith in God's capabilities, but TOTAL FAITH in Him. That means utterly world-defying, law-breaking, demonstrations that what seems IMPOSSIBLE is perfectly possible. Because to God, all things are possible. We are to put our trust in something that is UNLIMITED in its freedom, rather than putting our trust in the ego's sense of utter limitation and impossibility.
"What He enables you to do is clearly NOT of this world, for ***miracles violate every law of reality***, as this world judges it. Every law of time and space, of magnitude and mass, of prediction and control, is transcended, for what the Holy Spirit enables you to do is clearly beyond ALL of them."
"What the Holy Spirit enables you to do is clearly not of this world."
"There is nothing my holiness cannot do."
A miracle, is not of this world, and is absolutely unlimited in what it can do, with no order of difficulty whatsoever.
MIRACLES VIOLATE every law of reality that this world thinks is true. Every law of space, and time. All the laws of physics, biology and chemistry. Every suggestion of what is and is not possible. All degrees of magnitude and difficulty and severity and importance and value and possibility. There is NOTHING that you cannot do, by BREAKING the laws of space and time and violating the laws of physics. THIS is what miracles are. Not little shifts in perception, changes in feelings, or adjustments to your belief system.<
Miracles, according to ACIM, include, literally moving mountains, walking on water, multiplying food, converting objects into other objects, levitation, bilocation and teleportation, calming storms, parting oceans, manifesting stuff out of nowhere, healing the sick, raising the dead, controlling time and space, communication that transcends distance, fixing broken objects instantly, dematerializing and materializing, telekinesis, and all manner of other things that some would consider IMPOSSIBLE in this world's reality. Because they BREAK THE LAWS of space and time. Shifting your perception does not break the laws of reality whatsoever.<
Those who believe and spread the lie that miracles are little shifts in perception, are WATERING DOWN A course in Miralces and have far too weak of a vision of what a miracle is and what it is capable of. This is in part due to the fear of the power of the mind. Jesus is clear that what the Holy Spirit enables you to do is in CLEAR VIOLATION of everything this world says is possible. EVERYTHING. And that means there is literally NOTHING that your holiness cannot do. Miracles ignore all the laws of this world.
They don't care about mass or size or weight or distance or time or hardness or materials or nuclear forces or anything else. They are the wielding of the POWER OF THE MIND to cause effects, above and beyond the limitations of the FAKE LAWS that run this world's simulation. And A Course in Miracles is designed to put you BACK in touch with the miracle minded state in which you are CAPABLE of doing all this and more. Jesus even says that your mind has the power to create worlds. You MADE this planet. do you think your mind is so minuscule and weak it cannot even move a single object directly? Jesus asks you to reinstate the power of the mind in the body.
This is a course in regaining ALL POWER and becoming DOMINANT over the world. "It is you who have the power to dominate everything you see merely by recognizing what you are." "Teachers of God will take over the world because of their strength". And it culminates in TOTAL POWER OVER DEATH and thus the entire dream of death. The surmounting of death, in the resurrection state, gives you power to DO ANYTHING. LITERALLY ANYTHING without limit. That is what miracles can offer. And miracles are everyone's right. That is FAR above and beyond the safe little fairytales about how a miracle is just you changing your mind a little bit. Miracles have the POWER OF GOD in them.
In ACIM's teaching, there was originally just one "level" or realm in which to exist - The Kingdom of God, Heaven. This is true because the Kingdom is one logical state or nature.
In the separation, we invented a second level or logical state, by trying to be opposite to the Kingdom. This wasn't a partial opposition it was a total opposition, like light and darkness. This second state is a state of dreaming and perception, opposing knowledge. It's technically inside of Heaven, but it a belief in being exiled or outside of it. So this forms a kind of second "level."
We often visualize the two main levels as "above and below", where Heaven is the higher level and Earth is the lower. The two levels contrast and oppose each other in EVERY way imaginable. Light vs Dark, Reality vs Illusions, Life vs Death, Love vs Fear, Immortality vs Mortality, etc. Some refer to the two main levels as level 1 (heaven) and level 2 (earth).
Within level 2 (earth) - "Earth, heaven's opposite in every way", which is the level of "all perception", there is a wide spectrum of states of mind ranging from false perception to true perception. But it's often helpful to contrast them more extremely which suggests two additional levels within the level of perception - the lower dream and the higher dream.
In the lower dream there is false perception, physical objects, form, bodies, the world/earth, attack, sin, death, sickness etc. In the higher dream there is true perception, no physical objects, no bodies, the real world, no sin or sickness, no death etc. They are effectively opposite states WITHIN level 2.
It's important to realize that this basic logical structure is infused throughout the course, because Jesus is at various times talking within the context of different levels. For example he might talk about the higher dream of true perception, and it can sound glowing and lovely, but if you forget that it is within the CONTEXT of level 2, you might be tempted to forget that ALL of the rules that apply to level 2 still apply.
For example the course tells us a glowing report about the real world, or the forgiven world, or true perception/salvation, but at the same time it also reminds us in other passages that "the real world still is but a dream" and "those who perceive (at all) still need healing." So within level 2, the dream of perception, even when we're talking about true perception or forgiveness or the healed body, we have to keep in mind that both the rules of true perception (higher dream within level 2) AND the rules of level 2 itself are simultaneously applying.
Confusing these levels, not being clear about which statements are referring to which levels, not understanding which contexts certain statements are given in and not keeping in mind that the larger context of levels 1 and 2 always apply when discussing anything to do with the realm of perception, can lead to a whole lot of confusion about what stuff means or implies. This is part of what's called "level confusion", not knowing which level is above or below or inside of another.
The general story, in summary, is that you began in level 1, you dreamed of level 2, and while dreaming of level 2 you dreamed of a level 2 inside of level 2 - a lower dream of hell and form, and then the holy spirit provided a higher dream - a level 1 inside level 2, which reflects the real level 1 of heaven, to lead you out of the dream into reality.
MIRACLES ARE ABLE TO CHANGE PHYSICAL FORMS!
"T-22.III.7. Only mistakes have different forms, and so they can deceive. 2 You can change form because it is not true. 3 It could not be reality because it can be changed."
"Your experience of miracles is proof that you are not bound by loss or suffering in ANY FORM because they can be so easily changed. This demonstrates that they were never real and that they could not stem from Reality. Reality is Changeless and Its Effects cannot be altered. Appearances are shown to be unreal because they change."
Miracles DEMONSTRATE that this world is unreal BY CHANGING IT, to prove that its laws do not hold it in place or determine its nature.
People say, well, this world doesn't exist so there is no point changing it. THERE IS A POINT. You MUST change it to prove that it CAN be changed in ways that this world ITSELF claims is impossible. You MUST BREAK THE EGOS LAWS in order to TEACH (miracles are teaching devices) that God's laws are the only authority.
You are not bound by loss or suffering in any form. THAT INCLUDES PHYSICAL, because all FORMS are energetic or physical. "All thoughts produce form at some level". And since Jesus says that MIRACLES PROVE you are not bound by suffering in ANY FORM, MIRACLES MUST BE CAPABLE OF CHANGING PHYSICAL MATTER.
Your body, the bodies of others, the moving of physical mountains, changing objects into other objects, healing the sick, raising the dead, whatever it is... MIRACLES CHANGE THE WORLD in order to demonstrate that, BECAUSE it can be changed, the world is not real. Miracles are THE ONLY DEVICE YOU HAVE at your disposal capable of doing this.
Miracles do not change the world in order to "make a better world". They change the world in order to PROVE and DEMONSTRATE and SHOW, that this world is FALSE. Thus they lead OUT of the world. When people claim "there's no point trying to dress up the dream or make a better world", this is only because they assume the miracles would "improve your life" and you'd just stay in the dream deluded. That's not their function. Miracles "heal the world" IN ORDER TO SHOW that the world is FALSE, not in order to support the ego, and so this argument is logically unfounded.
Since all miracles that CHANGE FORMS, MUST run contrary to the "natural laws" of the ego (horizontal laws), they must supercede them or act from ABOVE them, meaning that ALL MIRACLES ARE SUPERNATURAL (above ego nature) because they reverse the ego's physical laws.
Using miracles to "change or fix" the world IS CORRECT, given that miraculous demonstrations will always PROVE this world is FALSE, and so lead AWAY from the world, not towards it. To use the idea that you should not change the world with miracles as an explanation for why miracles are pointless, is a misunderstanding of what miracles DO, and their function in SHOWING that this world is not your home. You change the world to PROVE it can change, to PROVE it CANNOT BE REAL because nothing real can be changed.
This world is populated by egos. People who want to broadcast themselves but without listening. This results in a state of competition, conflict and war, where everyone is trying to overpower everyone else. Your brother attacks you by rejecting you. He transmits his illusions about himself and tries to accuse you of sins. He puts up walls against you. He hates and attacks you. And he tries to prevent you from loving him. You do the same and you "meet in the middle", but neither of you moves any closer than a standoff.
Most of the time, the ego in ourselves reacts to the ego in others by regarding them as enemies. If we fall for their illusions, if we believe their attack, if we hold it against them, if we regard it as who they are, the extension of our own mind stops at the obstacles we’re seeing. We fail to overlook these obstacles. In other words, we are being unforgiving. If when he portrays hilmsef as an enemy, attacks you in any way, or convinces you of your or his sinfulness, you fail to love him unconditionally, you too have an ego problem.
The challenge, and this seems difficult at first, is to "love past" their hate. And this means, learning to love absolutely everyone no matter who they are, how they act, what they look like, how evil they seem to be, or what they’ve tried to do to you. Even the really bad extreme cases. Yes EVERYONE. That is unconditional love. Always loving no matter what. That is the atonement, and atonement is forgiveness. Forgiveness overlooks errors and looks past illusions to the truth.
So what I’m finding is, per the Golden Rule, if I actually "have my brother’s back" or "look out for" them, for their HIGHEST SELF, for the truth about them, acknowledging that in truth they are a lovable, holy, innocent equal, sinless and guiltless, who deserve the utmost love, this will put us in a position of being above the battlefield. It means you are transcending all illusions, overlooking their unloving attitude, and upholding the truth about them FOR them. Which means advocating for the true nature of all your enemies. Turning every enemy into a beloved brother, regardless of what they believe or how they behave.
YOU ARE YOUR BROTHER’S KEEPER.
This is the same way that the holy spirit holds a vision of your perfection FOR you until you can recognize it yourself. It means looking way past your brother’s "protest", standing up for his true self on his behalf, extending your mind past his illusions, seeing him as truly an equal who has temporarily lost sight of himself, and taking nothing personally. Because all of his attack, is against himself only, when seen correctly.
It feels unusual at first. There’s your brother being an asshole. Or seeming to. Before you would’ve taken it personally, reacted, held it against him, made it real, and seen nothing else. But the challenge now is to shine your love so strongly that it dispels and moves past all that bullshit to the REAL brother. To the brother who is in pain, who is calling our for love, and who is attacking himself. Loving past the enemy, not becoming what he tries to make of you, and rising far above his delusions.
That means you no longer get to USE him as a scapegoat for your own self attacks.
This means loving the people who attack you, even if they continue to try to do so. Not loving the "attacker self", but loving the person who is behind the projection of pain. Moving past their obstacles to peace. Supporting, defending, standing up for, wanting to heal, loving, caring about, recognizing and remembering, the TRUE nature of that person’s divine innocence. FOR THEM. Because they have temporarily forgotten who they are and have lost their minds. Your remembering is his. Remember the truth about him for him, and help him to remember himself.
"But YOUR remembering is HIS, for God cannot be remembered alone. THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN. To perceive the healing of your brother as the healing of yourself, is thus the way to remember God."
A light way to look at things and a dark way. It is similar to how, from above the clouds, the sun shines on everything, and yet beneath the clouds, everything looks dark and threatening.
Looking back toward the light with obstacles in the way, creates the impression of threat and danger and doom and gloom. When the clouds are there, the light seems obscured and it feels like you've got walls keeping you from it. It seems like you're trapped in a prison and that everything is against you.
Looking toward the light from a position of being separated from the light, by the clouds, creates the ego. The ego is an attempt to turn around and look back at God and find him blocked from vision as if he doesn't exist. And when the clouds are heavy, it will feel as if God doesn't exist, as if there is no light.
Shifting back into alignment with the source of light, means getting "above the battlefield", through and beyond the clouds, past the illusion of separateness and self importance, and turning around 180-degrees so that you too are a part of the light that shines outward. You need to become a sunbeam, of sorts, extending love outward.
Looking up to the sun with clouds between you is akin to the ego looking inside at itself. The ego wants to catch a glimpse of itself as if it really exists as a separate identity. What you are 'is', and you can't identify it as something separate from you. Yet when you're "under the weather" and trying to wrestle with upsets and darkness you keep trying to look 'at' yourself, similar to how you keep trying to look back at the sun. You don't really need to look at yourself or to look at the source of light, you need to BE IT.
Changing your vantage point changes your perspective. If your vantage point is rooted in your ego then your ego will do the looking and it will look toward the clouds and tell you the clouds are real and that you're separate from God. This will of course be frightening and horrifying. And it's not true, but it will seem true, and you will feel stuck.
Changing your vantage point to that of Holy Spirit (the sun) changes everything. It changes how everything looks to you and what it means. Your light shines ONTO everything you see illuminating it and revealing its beauty and happiness. It helps you to see clearly and fully. It helps you to not be deceived by the strange shadows that play out on the landscape when you are "in the dark". And it helps you to remember there is ALWAYS another way, ALWAYS a better way than any ego viewpoint.
And you need to be reminded... the light of God is always present and always available and always true and always powerful, and no amount of ego or darkness or horror will EVER obliterate it or shut it out or make it permanently lost. EVER. The light is always stronger than the darkness because the darkness is weakness. The light is always there. It is sanity. It is reason. It is truth. Sooner or later you have to admit to it and allow it and accept it and be it. You can prolong suffering but you cannot make it permanent. The light is calling to you to join it and to laugh at the silliness of the ego's mistakes.
God loves you.
I have made a pretty big mistake with ACIM, and maybe you are doing the same. Sorry this is a bit long and rambly, I'm still coming to terms with it....
I always believed that the goal in ACIM was awakening to the awareness of God's presence, which was some kind of a singular state of being. As I read and worked with the Course it at first seemed plausible that every reference to 'what truth is like', or the high-level metaphysics, all described a single absolute state of being/mind.
I felt confused by some of the interpretations of this that other people were expressing because it seemed there was a level of truth deeper or 'more true' than what most other people were understanding. So I felt I needed to go deeper into re-reading it and re-learning what it has to say. So I started reading the urtext. And I actually learned a lot, much of which made me question what the status quo understanding was on many topics. I polished and refined my grasp of what the truth really meant, all still within this idea of 'there is only one kind of awakening', like, either you are totally doing it perfectly or you're kidding yourself.
I even saw how some people who claim to be awake were still falling short of what I believed that should really entail. I always felt a certain faith in Jesus and his example, and never could see anyone matching up to that. Yet I felt that in the Course it does directly speak to the kind of total mastery that he demonstrated. This included the ability to heal all sickness, raise the dead, have total mastery over illusions, be capable of changing form, of appearing as any kind of a body, absolute invulnerability (literally), not dying simply because you choose not to etc. I had Jesus practically flying around the room.
The thing is, all of the metaphysics in ACIM seemed to point to this potential and it made total logical sense to me that we "should" be able to wield total power over all illusions. Just like Jesus. So I had in my mind this kind of very high-level 'goal', which was very lofty, which I thought we were meant to strive to achieve. That was my idea of what it means to be fully awake, and anything short of that was not it. I felt frustrated that some people were saying they were awake and yet were clearly not demonstrating Jesus's level of mastery, and so of course that led to judgement but also confusion. Why was the Course saying one thing and then other things were happening? Why were people not matching up to Jesus's level and how is it possible there (obviously) has been an awakening of some kind in some people and yet they still can't raise the dead? The Course clearly spoke of some extremely high-level truths and implications which nobody seemed to be getting.
Well. As it turns out, the Course actually encompasses several "levels" of metaphysics. I had no idea of this, so I was always lumping everything together as a kind of super-level and then trying to attain that. I had no idea about this until Michael Murray started to bring forward this information about "the levels", or rather, the timing of me stumbling upon his videos and being ready to listen. Basically, there is much more going on than it appears, and without this extra information you'll make the huge mistakes I've made.
In very brief summary... this physical universe is only one of several levels or dimensions of the dream of separation. These dimensions are all states of mind but they also, to our senses, appear to be 'places' which have entire universes of their own. The physical universe is the lowest level. Above this there is a "spiritual universe" which is also the level at which the Holy Spirit resides. You might've heard it referred to also as the astral plane or similar. These levels are btw somewhat referred to in Hinduism and some other religions and you might be more familiar with them if you are "new age". Anyway.. above "level 2" the Holy Spirit's mind, there is a level 3 where our "higher self" resides, and also this is where angels seem to exist, the akashic records, and also this is where "the sonship" is - as separate higher selves. Above this level there is a fourth level which is the level of Christ where the sonship is ONE. Jesus 'the higher self' was the first to transcend the previous level and unify as Christ. Then above this level is Heaven - God.
Ok so... here's what I did totally wrong and this is where my spiritualizing ego got totally screwed up, and this is also probably where you are doing the same. Clearly, because there are levels to the dream beyond the physical, there are effectively different levels of awakening. This also means there are different levels of 'capability' and mastery (someone at level 3 does not have mastery over level 3 because to do that you must be on level 4). Also because of these levels, there are certain "capabilities" that are only possible at certain levels and there are certain 'parts' of the Course that are directly related to certain levels, e.g. the 'real world 'is a very high level thing (and nothing to do with the physical world). This also reveals that the Course itself 'speaks' on many different levels, in other words, in relation to different dimensions of the dream and different universes where the experience is on a whole different level. Truths which apply on one level totally superceded stuff on the levels below, so as we ASSUME that all of this is just ONE BIG LEVEL, or 'the one goal', we get really messed up and confused about what's being asked of us.
Also because of these levels, typically in order to go "up" the levels you need to go in sequence. You can't just jump to the 5th level or just pop into heaven when you're still down at level 1. And pretty much most of us are on level 1, me included. So here's the huge mistake I made.
In assuming there were no levels, and lumping them all together, and in becoming aware of the Christ-level truths in the Course, I created for myself an extremely lofty Christ-level goal, comparable to Jesus. Because I can see the parts of the Course which DO speak of/from this level (all of the course comes from the Christ level but speaks OF or as-if from other levels also), this 'highest truth' level became my concept of "the only level" or "what awakening means".
So I was basically down here on level 1, with my big ego, and trying to BYPASS all the way up to the Christ level in one straight shot. I wanted to embody and encompass ALL of the characteristics of Christ, in a kind of all-or nothing grand-master-of-the-universe power-over-everything ultra-mastery i-can-fly-around-the-room-if-i-like-and-there's-nothing-you-can-do-about-it sort of ideal. Anything short of this was "not good enough". So now I had this hugely lofty "should" or how I am supposed to be, or what I'm supposed to get to, or what I need to realize etc. And this also included this HUGE burden of 'what I am responsible for'... as if I caused the entire universe and everything in it, all by my little ego level-1 self, which is NOT true.
Having this extremely lofty goal of "be Christ", bypassing all of the levels that are REQUIRED to go THROUGH in order to get there, put an ENORMOUS BURDEN on my shoulders. A huge weight of guilt at falling short and not even barely being able to accomplish it. And believe me I tried, really hard. I even attained some small ability to bring about healing through Holy Spirit, some of the time, in small amounts. And I KNEW that the parts of the Course that speak of the Christ-level were true. So this kept me dangling from a thread, chasing after this carrot of perfection and power, but falling way short. All this did was put PRESSURE on me (and my wife) to match up to this enormous responsibility which is far beyond what 'I' (level 1 me) am actually capable of. Yes my Christ self IS capable of such things, but that's way above where I'm at or can even GET TO or ACCESS from where I'm at.
The truth is that we are only really capable of going from level 1 to level 2. The first awakening. Some people bypass this and jump to level 3 but only in extreme rare circumstances. The rest of us can only, and are only really asked to, go from level 1 to level 2, which in Course terms meaning letting go of the persona and shadow and aligning with Holy Spirit's mind and letting go of the *physical* world level. This lets us be in the "spiritual universe", or to move up from there. But we can't just jump to the top, especially not WITH the ego. And that's what we're all trying to do - a huge spiritual bypass in which our ego gets to try to be Christ.
So this is a blow to the ego. Here's little me down in level 1 world believing that I'm oh-so-spiritual, advanced, getting ready to graduate, believing that I'm more spiritual than others, and finding out that I actually am probably on this level BECAUSE I am still on level 1. Hah. Not level 2 or 3 or 4 or 5... level 1. Sucks! lol ... BUT the freedom comes from this realization..... you don't need to try to be Christ. You don't need to even try to be the higher self or to jump up to that level. You ONLY need to get to level 2 - the Holy Spirit's mind. So this somewhat lets you off the hook.
It means that you can drop all of huge expectation that you're putting on yourself to be Christ-like. It means you can stop trying to raise the dead or expect yourself to be able to. I have to tell you, I recently got a 'sty' in my eye and it was sort of infected and stuff, unsightly and uncomfortable, and I really dug DEEP into possible causes and unforgivenesses in attempt to heal it, because I was really convinced I was SUPPOSED to be able to just 'make it go away' with my mind. I did some healing, yes, but the dam fucker did not change. It didn't just disappear. So this was a blow to the spiritual ego, which thought it had to be Jesus-like or that it could. And I had to accept I just cant do that. Fuck it.
But this is really a relief. It's a huge relief to realize that you do not have to "try" to be christ. You do not have to be responsible for stuff that is in "the script" - a script written by and powered by a mind far huger than yours is now. You don't have to try to be this dead-raising master. You don't have to turn water into wine or be some extraordinary guru. You're not capable of that until probably the 5th dimensional awakening. You don't have to blame yourself for all the shit that comes from the unconscious mind that you are not consciously choosing, as if it's all your fault. You don't have to own every single little thing that happens as if, just by it happening, it proves that you SUCK and that you're a total course failure. You don't have to keep beating yourself up for "not doing the course right" ie not matching up to the kind of capabilities that you pretty much CANNOT accomplish until you ARE at the Christ level, which is not going to happen until you've at least gone through 2 or 3 other levels of awakening.
So there's all this huge weight of guilt and expectation that we've all been putting on ourselves because we're all trying to live up to this extraordinary goal of being Christ when, in fact, from this level 1, we can only really be expected to get to level 2. It's true that there is no world and its just a dream and that the Christ mind can create planets... ok... but little me, little you... at level 1, no, there isn't going to be any planets getting made. So that's not something you can be responsible for. We have this hugely inflated spiritual ego (ok, speaking for myself, but I bet you do too) that's trying to claim the "power" of being Christ while still being very limited and incapable.
We have to stop putting level 3/4/5+ realities and responsibilities and powers onto our shoulders as level 1 ego folks and stop expecting ourselves to live up to this hugely lofty standard. WE have to accept that we are NOT at the level of Jesus and probably very few people are going to be. We have to accept that even the best of the best of the ACIM teachers aren't even at that level. Not even the enlightened gurus and yogis necessarily at that level. All we need to do is do our SIMPLE job of forgiveness and development of trust in Holy Spirit and come into his mind and accept his truth and his way of perceiving. The other levels and the potency and power of those other levels will follow on from there naturally as the 'next steps'. But we can't just bypass and jump to those steps. And we have to admit we've been doing this, our spiritualized egos are about to POP, and we can take a big sigh of relief that we're NOT supposed to expect such huge things of ourselves.
This should relieve us of all the guilt, all the sense of failure, all of the exasperation at not getting it, all of the fear and guilt and frustration that we have to accomplish Christ-level capabilities otherwise we're going to die, etc. We have to strip it all back. Let go of the highest goals. Focus on the NEXT step which is just getting to level 2 - Holy Spirit's level, and letting go of the idea that our LEVEL 1 EGO is EVER going to be capable of being at the Christ level, LET ALONE even level 2. And yet it's trying. It's been trying hard this whole time to live up to some kind of universe-creating mega goal. It loves to. Even though it's a total failure at it. So we can at least admit, we don't have to think of ourselves as total failures any more because we were never meant to be level-5 ego's to begin with.
All this comes from the clarity that the Course contains levels, that we're on level 1 trying to get to level 2, and that everything else is irrelevant. Yes at some point we will create planets but not today. First things first. One step at a time. We're getting ahead of ourselves and our expectation and fear of not being able to match up to the high-level truths is, thankfully, not even being asked of us right now.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.