As you approach closer to what's in your heart, to be true to yourself, to be authentic and real, expressive and uncensored, you're going to come face to face with blocks to love.
These will come up inside you with an emotional charge likely from past events. This stuff doesn't just go away.
In your past, particularly in childhood, when you were expressing yourself more openly and freely, if you did something that other people decided was "bad" or wrong or that you should be guilty for, and especially if you were punished in some way or love was withheld, then you'll store this belief that being yourself will lead to pain. That unless you censor yourself and stay within the lines, you will likely make mistakes and will suffer for it.
Other ways it comes up is that you can't do what you want or express how you'd like because someone will disapprove, or you're only supposed to do what you were told to do (which is a common parenting style), or that if you do what you want you will displease people, or will experience rejection again.
So then as you go to do what you feel you'd love to do, you'll stop yourself with fear or sickness (as a defense), because you know that based on the past, if you go ahead in this way, someone is going to get hurt. You.
So you fear the same unforgiving attitude, the same unloving response, and the same guilt-trip, pain or suffering. When you believe that being yourself will make you unloveable, how are you going to be yourself?
Making mistakes should lead to forgiveness, be responded to with love, and reassure you that you are still innocent. Especially since "nothing really happened." If they don't, and if something negative happens, and you form a false self image based on this pain (which you do to yourself), then it stays lodged in your mind/emotional body until such a time as you attempt to do something in life that confronts it.
If you're intent on waking up or healing or forgiving etc, then sooner or later you will be pushing the envelope of your beliefs and comfort zones and you're going to come face to face with your pain again. If you want to move forward rather than hit a wall again, healing is going to have to happen. Whether you will have a catharsis or cry your eyes out or do a massive forgiveness or receive a miracle, one way or another the baggage has to go.
But then you will be set free.
Separation seems to have disconnected our mind from Spirit. Jesus describes the separation process thus:
"7 First, the assumption is implicit that what God created can be changed by the mind of man.
8 Second, the concept that what is perfect can be rendered imperfect or wanting is accepted.
9 Third, the belief that man can distort the creations of God, including himself, is accepted.
10 Fourth, the idea that since man can create himself, the direction of his own creation is up to him is implied.
11 These related distortions represent a picture of what actually occurred in the separation. None of this existed before, nor does it actually exist now."
When this was occuring, basically we created a fictional lack in the mind, and then proceeded to fill it with our own separate voice.
Or in other words, began to express the idea that we created ourselves, that we author reality and truth, and we decide everything, that we can usurp God’s will, etc.
So then our mind has kind of gone rogue, it’s unplugged itself from God and is now making up realities (fantasies) left and right. It isn’t operating in service to Spirit so it generates its own content, the likes of which is UNLIKE God intended.
Rather than receiving all of its input, direction, and usefulness from a Spiritual source (soul), it instead runs amock inventing stuff on its own. It invents an artificial second identity, a world, bodies, events, fictional problems, you name it.
This all happens because it is unplugged from Spirit. It isn’t getting the proper input anymore so it just starts hallucinating. Outputting stuff it ITSELF thinks the input should be. It thinks it is the creator of itself.
What this means is that we have become unwilling to RECEIVE, and all that we want to do is CAUSE without accepting the effects of Spirit. We are basically trying to convert ourselves, from being an EFFECT of God/Spirit, to being the CAUSE of God and not at his effect.
When God created our soul, He shared His creative ability with us and gave us free will to enjoy creating in His/our perfection. This means we were able to RECEIVE FROM GOD, and EXTEND GOD, creating onward. So we were receiving and giving simultaneously. "Giving and receiving are one".
After separation, we stopped doing the RECEIVING part, and just kept on with the "creating part" which now became "mis-creating".
"All of his miscreations can literally disappear in "the twinkling of an eye" because they are merely visual misperceptions."
Since we stop receiving God’s will, God’s truth, God’s reality, God’s divine order and sanity, we go off making-up a bunch of shit out of nothing, for no good reason, with no solid foundation. We don’t get it from God. We dream, because instead of extending God’s truth, we just output with no correct input.
Being in ego then is a state of causing but not receiving. OR in other words, giving without receiving, which is SACRIFICE. This is also the same thing as "what is not love is murder" or "getting away with murder", in which the mind is trying to cause effects in others, without receiving the effects in itself. It is trying to express self, without receiving from God. It is trying to have an identity that has not been GIVEN BY God. It is trying to live without Him.
The key feature then of our awakening process, our endeavors to become closer to God again, entails OPENING UP TO RECEIVE again. Being WILLING to let INPUT come into you, to inform you and flow through you again, from A TRUE SOURCE or signal. To LISTEN to the Voice of God, instead of listening to our own voice. To EXPRESS God’s Will and miracles instead of our own magical bullshit.
This means putting your mind back in service to Spirit, becoming willing again to express God’s will instead of making up a will, being guided, directed, healed and empowered by God. And also it means being willing to ACCEPT, ALLOW, and RECEIVE God’s truth - in the atonement.
The ego’s game is all about trying to define a substitute self, in a substitute world, making stuff up all over the place without God. It wants to be the author of itself and make-up its own output. It think’s it’s prety special and important and capable, as if it does not need God’s input. It is like a screaching speaker system, broadcasting its own sounds instead of playing what the musical SOURCE is telling it to play.
Undoing the ego means surrendering this tyranny, this self-rule, this mode of functioning, this "thinking with the ego", where we "make" without God and don’t allow ourselves to RECEIVE INPUT.
We need to learn again to let God do for us everything we have been trying to do without Him. To let Spirit use our mind. To allow Spirit to work through us to extend miracles. To let God be the one to decide what the truth is. To accept His Will instead of inventing our own wishful thinking. To "channel" God again instead of making up our own signal.
It is all in the receiving. You cannot receive UNLESS YOU SURRENDER EGO CONTROL. Being in control of what your mind makes, in opposition to how Spirit wants it to be in ITS service, is a protest against God’s will and an attempt to steal the mind from God. It is supposed to be used for creating and extending love, not for making up your own fantasies.
God has provided the content. HE is downloading it to you. You simply need to be WILLING to receive it. We are not accustomed to receiving, as ego-oriented folk. It’s not what the ego wants to do. Billions of facebook accounts attest to the ego’s desire to broadcast ITSELF and not God. Mind is required to let there be help or input, or truth, that it has no ability or desire to define or interfere with.
Accepting the atonement is an act of TOTAL SURRENDER, giving back the mind to spirit, handing over decision making to spirit, dropping all fights against God’s will, admitting that God is the ONE SOURCE, ALLOWING GOD TO BE THE ONE WHO IS RIGHT, and letting Him do TO YOU and THROUGH YOU whatever he wants, happily, and gratefully, because he ONLY wants to love you. Which, fortunately, is absolutely in our best interests and can only bring us joy, not some kind of prison sentence.
God is waiting patiently for us to LET GO AND LET HIM. He wants to heal through us. He wants to love through us. We simply need to become willing to surrender our ego’s authority problem and LET HIM. To plug our mind back into HIS BROADCAST, His radio station, and to radiate it outward WITH Him.
Holy Spirit WILL UNDO ALL the consequences of your wrong decisions, IF YOU WILL LET HIM. You let Him by surrendering your ego and being open to TRUSTING Him and ALLOWING HIM to move IN YOU and through you. He can heal your sickness, your body, your mind, your life, your problems, IF YOU WILL LET HIM. He wants to help you and to heal you FOR YOU.
Holy Spirit is active. He is capable and willing to do anything FOR YOU. We are not supposed to be doing this course all on our own. We are not responsible for doing all of the healing or for fixing all of ourselves. We show willingness, by surrendering unwillingness, and then LET HIM DO IT FOR US.
"He asks but little. 8 It is He Who adds the greatness and the might. 9 He joins with you to make the holy instant far greater than you can understand. 10 It is your realization that you need do so little that enables Him to give so much."
He very actively WILL COME INTO YOU and will perform supernatural healing on you, and on others through you, without you lifting a finger, IF YOU WILL LET HIM. If you thought you had to do this whole entire course on your own and that the only advances would come from your own efforts, you are mistaken.
The Holy Spirit will start to operate FOR you and THROUGH YOU (speak through you, heal through you, direct you specifically, etc) as you start to surrender enough that you LET HIM, that you MAKE ROOM FOR GOD in your life.
As you start to RECEIVE AGAIN, being willing to accept atonement again, being willing to accept your innocence again, GOD WILL MOVE and will start to do stuff FOR YOU. It’s pretty awesome, when you let go of the reigns and take a leap of trust in Him. To let someone else "do stuff to you" for your benefit DOES require trust, which you CAN develop. Once you trust Holy Spirit to heal you FOR you, incredible things start to happen.
Invite Him in. Let Him work in you. RECEEIEEEEEEIIVE His Help. He wants to help you. You don’t have to do this all on your own.
Recently I've been noticing a changed feeling inside. It feels like some kind of grievance has been forgiven, and now there is less desire to be at war. It feels like a backing down, dropping weapons, stepping attack and being less interested in separating off.
The best that separating or fighting can accomplish is some fake victory, which leaves you in prison separated off from others and alone. It's a standoff or a stalemate. There is nothing gained there because you lose by winning, and taking sides no longer works.
I feel like somehow there is a gradual closing up of some kind of gap. The rift in the mind is the split mind, which is reinforced by anger and projection of guilt. I see more clearly that these acts increase my separateness, and separateness is the only problem.
Being separate just leads to being separated off, alone, isolated, weakened, licking wounds and plotting revenge. It's not a state of trust. It seems to be becoming more obvious that I should just surrender and let go and stop fighting altogether. That fighting doesn't ever make me win.
In recognition that I can only attack myself, and can only separate myself off, and can only split my own mind, I just have less desire to do so. And there is less need to do so as guilts are undone and are healed away by forgiveness. With forgiveness the woulds are closed up and they leave no scars behind. And what once was sore and sorry and an ancient self-hatred has turned into a present self-love.
Perhaps we need to lay down our weapons and stop the war with ourselves, if we want to be at peace. It isn't anyone else but me that I make to suffer and I can be attacked by nothing but my own thoughts of being separate.
"And those who serve the lord of death have come to worship in a separated world, each with his tiny spear and rusted sword, to keep his ancient promises to die."
"The seeming solace of illusions' gifts are now his armor, and the sword he holds to save himself from waking."
"Now is escape impossible until you see you have responded to your own interpretation, which you have projected on an outside world. Let this grim sword be taken from you now. There is no death. This sword does not exist."
"Returning anger, in whatever form, will drop the heavy curtain once again, and the belief that peace cannot exist will certainly return. War is again accepted as the one reality. Now must you once again lay down your sword, although you will not recognize that you have picked it up again."
"Every time you feel a stab of anger, realize you hold a sword above your head."
"The sword of judgment is the weapon which you give to the illusion of yourself, that it may fight to keep the space that holds your brother off unoccupied by love. Yet while you hold this sword you MUST perceive the body as YOURSELF, for you are bound to separation from the sight of him who holds the mirror to another view of what HE is, and thus what YOU must be."
"Lay down the cruel sword of judgment that you hold against your throat, and put aside the withering assaults with which you seek to hide your holiness."
"specialness stands like a flaming sword of death between them, and makes them enemies."
"Take time today to lay aside your shield which profits nothing, and lay down the spear and sword you raised against an enemy without existence."
"How long, oh Son of God, will you maintain the game of sin? Shall we not put away these sharp-edged children's toys? How soon will you be ready to come home? Perhaps today? There is no sin. Creation is unchanged. Would you still hold return to Heaven back? How long, oh holy Son of God, how long?"
It's very simple.
God is love and we are to have a loving relationship with God.
In love, everything is perfect, holy, immortal, safe and alive.
If you reject God's love, you will introduce hell into your mind. You will invent all forms of suffering, and all forms of objects, and all forms of death. Every conceivable problem exists only within the realm of "God is absent".
God is everything and all truth and all perfection. In God there are no problems.
The ONLY problem is that if you reject God ("The denial of God is the ego's religion"), you invent a false experience of suffering, riddled with problems.
EVERY problem in the ENTIRE universe of space and time is a SYMPTOM of the absence of God. It is entirely logically composed of the attempt to oppose God's love. It exists only while God's love seems to be absent, just as darkness exists SOLELY as an illusion of the absence of light.
You either have God, or you do not. If you lack God, you produce every imaginable problem. Every imaginable problem is made of the belief that God is not one with you, sharing love with you. An entire world of spacetime has been produced within this mad idea.
If all problems are symptoms of the lack of God or love, then REUNION WITH GOD is the ONLY solution to this problem. And union with God will solve ALL problems. Union with God will UNDO the separation. Union with God is the atonement, the acceptance of God and the restoration of oneness with God, recognizing you are in God and never left or changed.
You live in God. If you try to live without God you live in a nightmare. When you choose God again the nightmare ends. The nightmare IS the denial of God's love. When you stop denying God's love the nightmare disappears.
God is the ANSWER to the LACK of God. If God is lacking, the ONLY SOLUTION is to get God back. To rejoin with Him. To commune. To repair the rift in your relaitonship. To close the gap between you. And to become one again.
God GAVE HIMSELF as his answer to the separation, because the Holy Spirit symbolizes his love, power and truth. The Holy Spirit answers the separation by recognizing and holding in mind the fact that you ARE STILL as God created you and are STILL one with Him.
Love solves ALL problems because all problems are the absence of love. When love or light comes along, all problems melt and darkness vanishes. The entire universe of spacetime is UNDONE by love.
It boils down to one simple thing. The cause of, or the whole separation, is the ONLY PROBLEM. One problem, with one solution. A sense of separation from God is the ONLY problem you need correct. Which means, rejoining with God and loving God and letting yourself receive God's love again.
To love God, or not to love God, that is the question. Your ONLY GOAL should be to love God again.
"The ego's logic is as impeccable as that of the Holy Spirit, because your mind has all the means at its disposal to side with Heaven or earth, as it elects."
"Our efforts will be directed toward recognizing that there is only one problem and one answer. In this recognition are all problems resolved. In this recognition there is peace."
"Today I would remember the simplicity of salvation by reinforcing the lesson that there is one problem and one solution. The problem is a grievance; the solution is a miracle." (miracles are expressions of love)
"Above all, remember that you have one problem and that the problem has one solution. It is in this that the simplicity of salvation lies. It is because of this that it is guaranteed to work."
"Salvation does depend on recognizing this one problem, and understanding that it has been solved. One problem -- one solution. Salvation is accomplished. Freedom from conflict has been given you. Accept that fact, and you are ready to take your rightful place in God's plan for salvation."
"Your Father created you Wholly without sin, wholly without pain, and wholly without suffering of any kind. If you deny Him, you bring sin, pain, and suffering into your OWN mind, because of the power He gave it. Your mind is capable of creating worlds, but it can also DENY what it creates, because it is free."
"And so again we make the only choice that ever can be made; we choose between illusions and the truth, or pain and joy, or hell and Heaven."
"It still remains within him to project as God projected his own Spirit to him. In reality, this is his ONLY choice, because his free will was made for his own joy in creating the perfect."
"Sin is the only thought that makes the goal of God seem unobtainable."
"The goal of God is lost in the quest for lesser goals of any kind, and prayer becomes requests for enemies."
"Within the world of opposites there is a way to use forgiveness for the goal of God, and find the peace He offers you."
"In your holy relationship is your Father's Son. He has NOT lost communion with Him. NOR WITH HIMSELF. When you agreed to join each other, you acknowledged this is so."
"Communion is another kind of completion, which goes beyond guilt BECAUSE it goes beyond the body. Communion comes with peace, and peace MUST transcend the body."
"The miracle sets validity where it belongs. Eternal validity belongs only to the Soul. The miracle acknowledges only the Truth. It thus dispels man's illusions about himself, and puts him into communion with himself and with God."
"The Soul never loses its communion with God. Only the mind and body need Atonement. The miracle joins in the Atonement of Christ by placing the mind in the service of the Spirit. This establishes the proper function of mind, and abolishes its errors."
"Oh come ye faithful, to the holy union of the Father and Son in YOU."
From a human perspective we might think of life as starting and birth and ending in death. This is typical ego self-interest of course.
The world itself is more of a cyclic, regurgitating, constant transformation and change, transitioning from birth to death and back to birth again.
There are things in this world which seem to be new, to be born, new babies, new leaves, new offspring, new mornings, etc. It's not all about endings.
There are foods which are technically dead foods, which are fed to babies. What do baby tigers eat other than the carcasses of dead animals?
The rotting corpses of humans become food for worms and bacterias and flies, which use it to manufacture newborn worms and bacterias and flies. And so death becomes life again.
Cells divide and produce what seems to be new life forms. And yet the very same division ensures their eventual breakdown and dysfunction. They are born in separation and end in separation.
Technically when a human body dies, the materials the body is made of do not vanish. They just change form and redistribute. If buried they become the soil from which flowers grow. The chemical compounds become fertiliser and the building blocks for new growths.
Even as the tree leaves die off, the leaves settle to the ground and rot, but thus turn into rich soil, which in turn becomes the fertile ground for the emergence of new trees.
Around and around it goes, cycling from starts to endings and back to starts again. Birth and death are just two sides of the same coin. We seem to prefer one over the other, celebrating births and hating deaths, but they're really part of the same system.
As science would say, nothing here can really be destroyed, it can only change form. It's all energy, moving around and turning into one thing then another. This is the world's way. It's not really just a world of what we'd call death, it's also a world of what we'd call life. Life from corpses.
"It holds an image of the Son of God in which he is "laid to rest" in devastation's arms, where worms await to greet him and to last a little while by his destruction."
Illusions back and forth, sometimes it seems alive, sometimes dead. A world of opposites. A world of contrasts. A world of changes. Where even death is not a final end, because the materials of the dead become the materials of the living.
The whole system is one of every possible form of change, every appearance, every shift and change and transformation. Every way possible that there is no permanence and no absolutes. Not even physical death is absolute. It's all relativity.
A birth is just as much an illusion as a death. A newborn flower is just as much dead as a wilted one. And so the world mixes life and death together without really differentiating them, and thus producing confusion. It's only us humans who keep segmenting it out and labelling some parts as one thing or another.
"This is regarded as "the way of nature," not to be raised to question, but to be accepted as the "natural" law of life. The cyclical, the changing and unsure; the undependable and the unsteady, waxing and waning in a certain way upon a certain path"
Yes ultimately all physical things lead to what we call death, but so too are the new things just as much a part of dreaming. Sunrises and sunsets. Births and deaths. A phoenix rising from the ashes. Ashes becoming bodies again. It's all a big soup of uncertainty and untruth.
"There IS no life outside of Heaven. Where God created life, there life must be. In ANY state apart from Heaven, life is illusion. At best, it SEEMS like life; at worst, like death. Yet both are judgments on what is NOT life, equal in their inaccuracy and lack of meaning."
"I could not atone for MYSELF ALONE. Listening to one Voice implies the decision to share It in order to hear It yourself. The Mind that was in me is still irresistibly drawn to EVERY MIND CREATED BY GOD, because God's Wholeness is the Wholeness of His Son. You cannot be hurt, and do not want to show YOUR BROTHER anything except your wholeness. Show him that he cannot hurt you and hold nothing against him, or you hold it against yourself. This is the meaning of turning the other cheek."
"Oneness is simply the idea God is. And in His Being, He encompasses all things. NO MIND (implying there are many) holds anything but Him (therefore he created many minds)."
"Miracles make MINDS one in God. They depend on cooperation because the SONSHIP is the SUM OF ALL THAT GOD CREATED. Miracles therefore reflect the laws of eternity, not of time."
"God speaks for you in answering your question with these words: I walk with God in perfect holiness. I light the world, I light my mind and ALL THE MINDS WHICH GOD CREATED ONE WITH ME"
"ONE CHILD OF GOD (implying there are many) is the only teacher sufficiently worthy to teach ANOTHER (there are many!). One Teacher is in ALL YOUR MINDS, and He teaches the same lesson TO ALL. He always teaches you (one such mind) the inestimable worth of EVERY SON OF GOD, teaching it with infinite patience born of the infinite love for which he speaks."
"The Holy Spirit is the spirit of joy. He is the Call to return which God blessed THE MINDS OF HIS SEPARATED SONS. This is the vocation of the mind."
"Let us not wander into temptation, for the temptation of the Son of God is not Your Will. And let us receive only what You have given, and accept but this INTO THE MINDS WHICH YOU CREATED AND WHICH YOU LOVE. Amen."
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I don't know about you guys-n-gals but it sounds to me very clearly that there are MULTIPLE SONS and MULTIPLE MINDS. And that the presence of multiple minds is completely natural and normal because God CREATED THEM. Therefore EACH ONE has its "own mind". Each mind may well be "one" or in harmony with other minds, but there are still many minds, and each still has its own potential to choose whether to do God's will or not.
This is why some parts of the Course refer on ONE LEVEL to the ONE SON OF GOD, and on another level to the MANY INDIVIDUAL SONS (or souls).
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References to BROTHERS who are one with God:
"You are afraid of God because you fear your BROTHER. This BROTHER who stands beside you still seems to be a stranger."
"Some bitter idols have been made of him who would be only BROTHER to the world. Forgive him your illusions, and behold how dear a BROTHER he would be to you. For he will set your mind at rest at last and carry it with you unto your God."
"To know your BROTHER is to know God."
"Miracles unite you directly with your BROTHER."
"One moment of real recognition makes everyone your BROTHER."
"Any BROTHER with whom you have a limited relationship, you hate."
"Don't deny yourself the message of relief that every BROTHER offers you now."
"It is not up to you to change your BROTHER, but merely to accept him as he is."
"In your BROTHER is the light. See him as sinless, and there can be no fear in you."
"The miracle enables you to see your BROTHER without his past, and so perceive him as born again."
"Your BROTHER does not have to be aware of the Holy Spirit in himself or in you for the miracle to occur."
"What you acknowledge in your BROTHER you are acknowledging in yourself, and what you share you strengthen."
"The miracle acknowledges everyone as your BROTHER and mine. It is a way of perceiving the universal mark of God."
"Because the miracle worker has heard God's Voice, he strengthens It in a sick BROTHER by weakening his belief in sickness, which he does not share." (again confirmation that your brother can refuse healing even if you are healed)
"Where there is love, your BROTHER must give it to you because of what it is. But where there is a call for love, you must give it because of what you are." (similarly again, you give love to those who lack it)
"How willing are you to forgive your BROTHER? How much do you desire peace instead of endless strife and misery and pain? These questions are the same, in different form."
"Trials are but lessons you failed to learn presented once again, so where you made a faulty choice before you now can make a better one. In every difficulty Christ calls to you and gently says, My BROTHER, choose again."
"If you attack error in another, you will hurt yourself. You cannot know your BROTHER when you attack him. Attack is always made upon a stranger. You are making him a stranger by misperceiving him, and so you cannot know him. It is because you have made him a stranger that you are afraid of him. There are no strangers in God's creation."
"Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your BROTHER did to you has not occurred. It does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees there was no sin. And in that view are all your sins forgiven. What is sin, except a false idea about God's Son? Forgiveness merely sees its falsity, and therefore lets it go. What then is free to take its place is the will of God."
"Not one does Christ forget. Not one He fails to give you to remember, that your home may be complete and perfect as it was established. He has not forgotten you. But you will not remember Him until you look on all as He does. Who denies his BROTHER is denying Him, and thus refusing to accept the gift of sight by which his Self is clearly recognized, his home remembered and salvation come."
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It seems to me what the One Son of God, as Christ, is considered a BROTHER to the MANY SONS, who were also created (souls?) as extensions of him/god, ... and that at times the course refers to them on an equal footing because they are made of God-stuff equally, even though Christ appears to be a "larger" identity than the individual sons. But Christ+the individual sons make up "the sonship". So the sonship is not just the individual sons, it also includes the one son, and all are considered equal brothers in that sonship.
Your natural state of being is:
1) God is the source of love and extends you
2) You receive everything from God and extend it further
3) Your own creations receive from you
Another way of putting it is:
1) God is the Father and extends you as His Son
2) Since he shares everything He is with you, you also inherit the ability to be a father
3) You therefore father your own creations which are your Sons
And another way of putting it is:
1) God is the source of love and love is miraculous
2) God creates you miraculously and shares miraculousness with you
3) You extend God's miraculous love and perform miracles
In this arrangement, which is the way things are in Heaven, and which is the perfect condition of your relationship with God, you RECEIVE everything from God. God just loves you unconditionally all the time for no reason other than to love you. You receive that, and appreciate the awesome gift that it is, and you joyfully extend it.
Now, when the 'separation' happened, the Fatherhood of God was separated from the Sonship of the Son. The son stopped experiencing Himself as the Son of God because, having cut off God's role as His father, He no longer could see Himself as a Son. However, the former Son of God retained the outward creative fatherhood properties He was given. So He continues to try to create, except that having disconnected from the Father he is no longer EXTENDING God's creation, but instead tries to be the SOURCE of what He creates. That means creating without God, which is MAKING.
The former Son of God also then sees Himself as orphaned from God and, having no source for Himself, is left only with 'Himself' to deal with His situation. Instead of receiving love and support from God, this 'separated self' has to invent its own support and its own substitute or love. Having separated from God, this separated self is now alone and afraid and lacking and limited. He is also powerless and weak. He attempts to continue the behavior of extension but without sourcing 'what to extend' in God. So instead he INVENTS, makes up, dreams and projects an imaginary creation (the world) which does not really exist, which is not sustained by God's love, and which therefore must perish.
Clearly, what's gone wrong in the separated Son's life is the disconnection between Himself and God... the shutting off the FLOW that comes FROM God to sustain Him, to provide for Him, to protect Him, to nourish Him, and to give abundantly to Him and to BE everything for Him. That's what the separation shut out of His mind. So now His mind seems intent on going off on its own tangent, running its own life, deciding everything alone, doing everything alone, and generally failing and suffering a lot. There is only one problem - separation from God, and there is only one solution - repairing the separation from God.
So now we find ourselves in this dreamworld of unreality, with separated lives and separate wills, with everything going to shit, and we wonder why. And we wonder how to get back to peace. And then we start doing our forgiveness and our thought management and so on, but you need this bigger picture in order to realize WHY you are doing all this and what the overall goal is. The goal is to UNDO THE SEPARATION FROM GOD completely. And that must mean, the restoration of the dynamics of the relationship that you had with God before the separation.
So this means, your mind/self now needs to transition from being alone, separate, making up lies and doing everything yourself, to RECONNECTING to God, opening up to receive supply/abundance/safety/love/protection/guidance FROM God again, becoming willing to extend what GOD has created (His love), allowing Him to be the source/God/origin instead of you having to invent stuff on your own, and then EXTENDING that outward to all of creation, acknowledging that this 'ex Son of God' is once again THE Son of God, restored to perfection.
So this means having to learn to surrender all of the side-effects that came about from becoming a separate self, which includes surrendering thinking for yourself, deciding for yourself, controlling life, regarding your life as 'your life' that you own in exclusion/exile, giving up the ways that you block the flow of love/miracles, undoing all sense of judgement/attack/separation/sin/guilt/fear that comes between you and God, opening your mind to RECEIVE from God His guidance and love and support, and weaning yourself off of all the ARTIFICIAL SOURCES of support and coping and replacements for what you lost (special love etc), which you MADE to take the place of God.
So as we RECLAIM our rightful place as Son of God again, and restore the relationship with God, and re-open ourselves to receiving the flow/extension of God's love/miracles, we are returning to being Christ and we're letting go of the 'circumstances' of how things ended up after separating from our Father. All the ways that we 'coped' with the separation need to be undone and replaced with getting our supply from God again.
A few quotes coming to mind...
"God goes with me all through the day"
"I am sustained by the love of God"
Anything to do with the body, and what's inside the body, is thought to be "mine only", and not yours. We describe ourselves in terms of what is exclusive to ourselves. As if to say, I have my own this, and that, my own attributes, stuff that belongs solely to me and is not shared with you.
My body, my mind, my face, my personality, my feelings, my thoughts, my life, my power, my abilities, mine mine mine. This is how our egos think of ourselves. But this is completely unnatural and not at all how God set things up.
Believing you are separate from God and others, you exclude them from yourself and see yourself as not sharing anything. The body becomes a device for separation, and our egos tell us we are cut off and cannot share with anyone. Like we're alone on an island, and afraid because we depend on our own (lack of) power.
But what we really are is a part of God himself. Like, you are cogs in his machinery. God is everything, so if we say we are separate from God, we're saying we do not have everything. And that leaves us with nothing left. That means if we are without God, we are nothing. A lack of God is a lack of life, which is death.
God created us not by separating us off and setting us apart to be nothing like him or each other. Not did he disconnect himself from us when he extended our being. In the creation of our souls he literally put himself into us, so that his own attributes would be shared with us. He went into us and stayed there BEING our attributes.
God cannot actually create anything outside of or separate from himself, just as ideas cannot leave the mind. That's because he's already infinite and everywhere. But he can share himself internally and include more within what already exists. So he extends and shares what he already has.
This means anything you have has to be inherited from God, but also must still belong to God. You can share it, but you cannot have it exclusively. You cannot steal it away from God and call it "only mine." But so long as you share it with him and all his creations, you can have it.
So then it's not like you have your own anything. It's more like, God loans you his stuff. He himself goes into you and his own strength is what you call the strength in you. And his mind is shared with you and thus your mind is really his mind in you. And his thoughts and his will are shared with you. His love and his happiness and his peace are in you, as yourself, as his.
As the course tells us, we are either host to God or hostage to the ego. Being a host means you make room within to accommodate the presence of someone else, and to share your stuff with them. By hosting God, it's like you are literally having God come into you and dwell within you. You then share everything with him, not just in a separate compromising way, but he actually BE's your stuff.
So now there's God in you being mind and spirit, and what seems to be your mind and spirit is actually one with his and is his. You don't actually have anything that is just yours. There's his stuff, and he shares it with you so that it is yours as well. But it's not yours alone.
Nothing belongs to you alone. Absolutely everything is shared. That's why atonement is a lesson in sharing - because we forgot how to share and to be shared - ego/separation is an idea of selfishness and exclusivity.
This is a whole different way of describing yourself and your identity and what you are. Instead of saying "I am this and that", it's more like "God in me is being my this and that." Any happiness in me is actually God being happy in me and sharing his happiness with me. Any love in me is really God's love and God sharing his love with me so that I also have it.
In heaven it's kind of like a giant banquet buffet, where everyone can have access to everything simultaneously, everyone shares everything, everything is available to everyone and no-one can hog or hoard anything. Every part of you is part of God. Every attribute of your own is an attribute of God. You are immortal and divine, because you are part of HIS immortality and divinity.
So the whole aim is to get your sense of who and what you are away from this exclusive separate idea of "only I am this and that", defining yourself in terms of what belongs only to you. When you do that you are "hostage to the ego". We need to be moving toward an attitude of "God in me is this and that and I share his this and that." We need to be host to God again, in us and through us.
God's is the mind with which I think. God is the light in which I see. God is the love with which I forgive. God is the peace in which I am peaceful. Love created me loving. You have nothing OTHER THAN what God himself is BEING in you.
This is why you have inherited everything from God, and therefore everything real is given you. It is also why you are still as God created you - because what you are is an extension of his own self. You can't be anything separate from God. Whatever you are, is a part of his own, because you are ONE.
You thus actually have a symbiotic relationship with God in which you depend on God for your entire existence. It's not just about you trusting God like a separate person, but you actually getting your very existence, life, mind, joy etc from God himself. You depend on him to BE your life, your happiness, your love, your will etc. You need him to be these things FOR you.
Your eternal life is sustained BY him. Your innocence is guaranteed BY him. You have all power in heaven and earth because he shares HIS power with you, without which you have no power.
We need to get our heads out of this definition of self in terms of what I am exclusively, what is only mine, what belongs to me alone, what stuff I can say about my separate self that isn't shared with God. We need to have ONLY that which comes from God, and we need to deny anything that is not of him being a part of ourselves.
And we need to realize that if we think that we have personal exclusive attributes, we are being separate from God. And if we are separate from God, everything that is really a part of us and worth having is actually IN God and is a part of himself. So if we want it, we have to stop being separate from God and go be ONE with him and use HIS stuff, BE his extension.
This entails not only acknowledging that God is our creator, which undoes the authority problem, and that we are his creation and co-creator, bur it also entails realizing that getting with God is the ONLY solution possible to ALL your problems.
There is really only one problem which is a sense of being separate from God. By being separate from God you have nothing and are nothing. You can't exist without him. So the ONLY solution to the ONLY problem is to rejoin with God. That is the ONLY thing you can do to make a difference. Either you are being separate from God, which produces all problems and suffering and death, OR you are one with God and share HIS eternal life.
One problem, one solution. Staying separate from God and trying to utilize your special separate exclusive lack of power to solve problems and heal the world will not work. The problem is separation. ONLY undoing the separation will help. The ONLY way to do that is to resurrect and become whole again, to become one with God again, which means being HOST to God again - letting God into you to take up residence within again.
It's kind of like being a medium for God, a channel through which God expresses. Only in this way can you share his love and power and use his power to work miracles. And only his power is capable of doing this. Without his power you have no power to do anything. But with his power there is nothing your SHARED holiness cannot do.
When you try to go into the light, while still holding onto ego in any way, you are trying to bring darkness into the light.
What that means is, you believe the darkness can 'stay dark' while you enter the light. But this is impossible because light dispels darkness.
So the light of God, Holy Spirit's mind, the right mind, 'level 2', etc... will repel the darkness of the ego. It would dispel the ego, so it cannot ever approach it. Darkness has no real effect on the light.
When you try to do this, you are creating a 'spiritualized ego' which attempts to make it SEEM like you're more spiritual or more light when in fact it MUST all be an illusory form or appearance, deceiving yourself, because darkness literally CANNOT, even a tiny bit, become light.
Darkness is REPLACED by light. When light replaces darkness, you wake up FROM darkness.
Similarly, you cannot bring the light into the darkness. You can shine a light SO THAT darkness is shone away. When you bring the light toward the darkness, the darkness MUST disappear. So again, light and dark cannot combine. The dark cannot be made light, and the light cannot be made dark. They are mutually exclusive.
So again, one of the properties of the spiritual ego is the attempt to bring light into the darkness, into the world, in such a way as to KEEP the world the same as it is and NOT dispel illusions. This doesn't mean you can't bring 'heaven to earth', because by doing so you actually dispel and REPLACE darkness. But the ego has many ways to pretend to bring light into the world which are deceptive.
The only option for you is, to leave the darkness behind and go into the light. That means detaching from the ego's mind, and attaching to Holy Spirit.
Your sense of who you are depends entirely on the extent of your awareness. Awareness is your IDENTITY.
How much of your mind you are aware OF, determines the boundaries of your sense of Self.
If you have a lot of repression and denial and unconsciousness, your sense of Self will be little and confined. This is what Jesus refers to as "littleness".
You will still be aware, but your awareness will be limited. And yet, you will believe that the amount of Self you are aware of, is all of yourself. You won't even suspect there is more to you.
Everyone always believes they are their whole self. Whether they are actually aware of the whole of their self, is another matter. You could be aware of only 10% of yourself, and still believe that you are aware of your whole self.
The amount of awareness you have, if your awareness of your wholeness is limited, will also be limited. You will think you wake up in the morning and are "fully aware", at the maximum of your ability to be aware. But you won't be.
Your mind is vast. But it is blocked and divided and segmented. Your conscious self has been sectioned off into a small corner of the mind, and the rest has been made unconscious in order to hide your sin and guilt.
You will still, as the conscious self, believe that you are all of yourself, and that you are a whole person.
When obstacles to peace, blocks to awareness, denial and suppression and unconsciousness begin to be lifted away from your mind, you become aware of parts of your mind that you didn't even know existed.
That means your awareness of your whole mind increases.
Realize, that IDENTITY, is very tightly tied into how much awareness you have of your mind. If you are only aware of 10% of the mind, you will believe that everything you ARE aware of is all that there is to you. Your sense of SELF is limited by the outer edges of your awareness.
As your mind becomes freer of blockages, and things which were unconscious become conscious, your awareness is going to increase. And along with that, you are going to become more aware of a "larger Self", or a bigger sense of Identity. Your identity is going to expand.
Gradually your sense of "Who am I" is going to expand away from littleness into magnificence and grandeur, and thus your sense of Self will expand. You will "turn into" your Higher Self.
Really, it is just a matter of revealing, uncovering, remembering, making conscious again, and becoming aware of again, parts of your own mind which have been hidden and kept in the dark for a long time.
We call this clearing out of the clutter, "purification", and it produces an "awakening", i.e., simply an increase in awareness. Becoming aware that there is more to you than you realized.
That you are not just a little self stuck in a body. You are not just some little victim in a dream. You are huge and powerful, you are Christ.
And the amount of awareness that you are going to have as a result, is going to be much more than you have been used to. You literally will be MORE AWARE than you ever thought was possible, because you will be AWARE OF more than you ever thought existed.
When there is nothing left hiding in the darkness, no secret sins or hidden hates, and no more unconsciousness, and no more shadow or persona, the mind will be made whole again - fully aware of all of itself at once, and that is what it means to become aware of your Real Self. Spiritual awakening.
Aware of all that is - God.