Sometimes you have to throw your ego a bone. It's one thing to be constantly trying to question everything, forgive everything, affirm truth all the time, deny all illusions, and act all super-spiritual constantly, but the fact is that for the time being you still have an ego.

Your ego still has needs, and doesn't want to be spending all its time trying to be spiritual about everything. It has to be okay to let yourself take a break from hitting yourself over the head with metaphysics and taking the high-road. While you have an ego you have needs and values and beliefs and denying this will just produce sacrifice and another layer of depression.

It's one thing that it's all true, and eventually you will totally embrace it all and be able to live it authentically all the time, but until then you'll naturally be wanting to go back and forth, advancing and retreating, and sometimes that means you can't be just "doing the course" 24/7 every day like some kind of robot. In fact in a way it's dishonest and inauthentic to try to fake being authentic before you're really able to do so.

Let yourself off the hook and let it be okay to relax and have fun and enjoy some ice-cream or sex or movies or whatever stupid ego stuff gets you going. It's okay to live your life. Yes continue forgiving and rising above and resurrecting as you're able but realize that you are not a 'master' yet and you don't need to be pretending to be one. It's okay to be normal and do normal shit and have fun in the [its all a stupid illusion] dream world while you're working on waking up to reality someday.

"If you want to be LIKE me, I will help you, knowing that we ARE alike. If you want to be DIFFERENT, I will wait until you change your mind. I can TEACH you, but only you can choose to LISTEN to my teaching. How else can it be, if God's Kingdom IS freedom? Freedom cannot be learned by tyranny of ANY kind"

"The truth is still that the attraction of God is irresistible at ALL levels, and the acceptance of this totally unavoidable truth is only a matter of time. But you should consider whether you WANT to wait, because you CAN return now, if you choose."

"The acceptance of the Atonement by everyone is only a matter of time."

"It is crucial to say first that this is a required course. Only the time you take it is voluntary. Free will does not mean that you establish the curriculum. It means only that you can elect what to take when. It is just because you are not ready to do what you should elect to do that time exists at all."

The body is very much the opposite of your reality as an immortal being. Your real self can never be changed, attacked, hurt or destroyed. But the body is defenseless, exposed and vulnerable, capable of destruction and utterly unsafe in a dangerous world.

"God did not make the body, because it is destructible, and therefore not of the Kingdom. The body is the symbol of WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE. It is clearly a separation device, and therefore does not exist."

Having lived your life in a body, you've had to deal with all kinds of vulnerabilities. And this has taught you that you are a target for destruction. Weak, susceptible, fragile, attackable and unsafe. That you can be destroyed and should take great care to avoid all possible threats. Wary of every passing car, frightened of every stranger, upset by the mere presence of something moving.

The body has endured suffering, pain, breakage, malfunction and damage. It has been influenced by the weather and the environment. It has been attacked and hurt, bullied and hit, poked and prodded, maybe even assaulted surgically. Maybe the body has been mutilated, perhaps parts of it are missing, perhaps it is ugly and deformed and lacking, and maybe it was never whole to begin with.

Because of this, and because you believe you are your body, you must have thought this about yourself. You believed you'd lost parts of yourself, that you were under attack, that you have to be constantly vigilant when crossing roads and stepping on cracks and turning corners just in case it is your day to die - hoping to alert you early that you might avoid more suffering. You've put considerable effort into securing your body, making a home for it, protecting it with walls upon walls and layers upon layers, trying to shield it from your enemies.

All of this has told you that you are weak and fragile, vulnerable and attackable, defenseless and exposed. It has caused you to feel frightened and threatened all the time. It has given you constant anxiety and nervousness, constant stress and concern. You never feel fully safe anywhere, you are always on alert and wary of the next biting teeth or hammering nails or sharp pointy objects, trying constantly to avoid the body's death.

"In the brief time allotted it to live, it seeks for other bodies as its friends and enemies. Its safety is its main concern. Its comfort is its guiding rule. It tries to look for pleasure, and avoid the things that would be hurtful."

This can have done nothing but undermine your peace of mind, your sense of safety, your confidence and your happiness. Having to be constantly on the lookout for danger like some kind of animal in dangerous territory. You avoid the places you don't like to go, you avoid the people who bother you, you steer clear of the brand names you don't trust, and you only expose yourself with select few. And you reason that better the devil you know than the ones you don't.

This all comes about by confusing your identity with the body, believing you are a body, that you are body-like or of a physical nature. It comes with the territory. You cannot believe you are a physical body without being afraid of death, because you know the body can die. You cannot believe the body is your self, without being traumatized when you clip your nails or cut your hair. If you are a body, you are literally as susceptible and vulnerable as the body is, even if you take measures to defend yourself or ward off attackers.

It is not possible to believe you are a body and to feel confident. It is not possible to believe you are a body and be sane. It is not possible to believe you are a body and have real relationships with anyone, because the body literally cuts you off from them. It is not possible to believe you are a body and feel a sense of true safety and peace, or happiness and love. "the body CANNOT be used for purposes of union"

The body is separate in a separated world. It stands apart and alone. By the mere fact that it does not share with others, separate by space and time, it is lonely and isolated. Believing you are a body brings with it a fundamental loneliness and sense of exclusion, of conflict and disagreement, and even constant war. Bodies can never be equal because they rely on inequality and difference to make them distinct. And so there is no peace available when bodies are your truth.

Believing you are a body deceives you and sets you up for failure. It guarantees death and sickness and ensures a breakdown in communication. Being a body means putting a death sentence on your head and limiting yourself to a small span of time, riddled with obstacles and difficulties and suffering. If you are a body you cannot be a mind, or an idea, or a thought of God. You are parentless and orphaned and alone.

The body is essentially a blasphemy against God, because it suggests things about you which cannot be true in reality. You are actually an immortal, permanent, absolute, unchangeable, endless being, given eternal life and incapable of ever being hurt in any way. If you believe you are a body, you do not believe in yourself. If you believe you are a body, you are shutting yourself off from who you are in reality, and are guaranteeing suffering.

Your real self is immortal, it cannot be hurt or attacked, it cannot be affected or altered, it is utterly invulnerable, it is impervious and unassailable. It cannot be attacked or threatened, it cannot be hurt or made to be sick, it cannot be poisoned or traumatized, and it cannot die. Your real self is permanently happy, constantly joyful, and utterly at peace. Its peace can never be disturbed because nothing can ever threaten it, just as it is always free from all fear and anxiety because it knows that it is perfectly safe from all harm.

To identify with who you really are as God created you is to escape from the torment of being a body. It is to free you from all potential for suffering, attack, sickness and death. Identifying with your spirit/soul lifts you out of hell and into heaven. It lifts you away from danger and out of harm's way. It gives you real protection and permanent peace. It guarantees you are sinless and guiltless, incapable of being evil, unable to attack or be attacked, harmless and unharmed forever.

Only by not being a body can you be as God created you, because God did not create bodies. Only by not being a body can you laugh in the face of death and overcome the world. It is the body that becomes a target for attack and destruction, and not your real self. Your real self is beyond the world and beyond space and time and beyond the laws of physics. It is not of this world because you were created in another world, in the Kingdom of God, where everything is eternal.

"You can never suffer because the Source of all joy goes with you wherever you go."

Your eternal self can never suffer pain, can never be hurt by another, can never be upset or offended, can have no reason to ever be afraid, can never have its peace disturbed, can never become sick or suffer, can never experience pain, can never malfunction or break down or degrade, can never become old or tired, can never lose anything, and can never die. Surely you would rather identify with your real self and be free from hell forever, than to regard yourself as a lump of flesh and bones stalking the earth like a zombie waiting to finish dying.

Only by associating yourself with the properties of immortality can you be set free from the mortal body and all its limitations. Only by identifying as permanent and unchangeable can you have no grounds for upset. Only by recognizing you can never be changed can you free yourself from the blame and tyranny of other people's actions. Only by knowing yourself as the eternal life God gave you can you utterly disregard anything the world seems to do or cause.

"I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me."

"To be without a body is to be in your natural state."

"This is accomplished very simply, as you instruct yourself that you are not a body."

"But I am not a body. What am I?"

"The Christ in you inhabits NOT a body. Yet He IS in you. And thus MUST it be that YOU are not within a body."

"I am in the likeness of my Creator. I cannot suffer, I cannot experience loss, and I cannot die. I am not a body."

"But I am not a body. And my mind cannot attack. So I can not be sick."

"A mind and body cannot both exist. Make no attempt to reconcile the two, for one denies the other can be real. If you are physical your mind is gone from your self-concept, for it has no place in which it could be really part of you. If you are Spirit, then the body must be meaningless to your reality."

Either:

The other person is guilty and therefore I am guilty also...

.....OR ....

The other person is innocent and therefore I am innocent also.

There is no other option.

There is no 'they are guilty and I am innocent'. There is no 'they are innocent and I am guilty'.

If it applies to them, it applies to you. When you believe otherwise you're in the ego and are insane.

This is why you have A VESTED INTEREST in finding everyone innocent, otherwise you cannot claim innocence for yourself.

When it's important to you to find someone guilty, separate from yourself, thinking this guilt does not apply to you... Well.... Good luck with that. You will just end up feeling guiltier and unhappier and more at war with yourself. You will be in conflict, your fear will increase, and you will be constantly upset. Do you want that? Then you have to let BOTH of you off the hook. There is no other way.

Physical objects are forms, taking on one form or another, to produce a range of forms. Some of them we call life forms. Others we might call lifeless forms, forms of materials, forms of objects etc.

The body's eyes look at these forms and takes them to be exactly what they are. It looks at the shape, the position, the color, the nature of it, and claims that this is what the form MEANS. It derives meaning from the form based on how the form looks.

A form will then imply something, suggest something, seemingly tell you a truth about itself and its world, as if the form is a cause which has influence and power. And so we look to forms with the body's eyes and ask the form to tell us what the world means.

We see the form of a broken body and we think that this means the body is damaged. We see the form of a puppy and think this means it was recently born and still innocent. We see a rotting apple and think this means death is taking place.

We constantly are sending the body's eyes out to look upon the world, as if the world can then tell us what everything means just by looking at it. If a body is sick we think it means the person is sick. If the body is dead we think life has ended. And we thus allow the world to dictate every sense of meaning.

This has happened, therefore .... that has happened, therefore. ... constantly analysing situations and scenery and coming up with explanations based on what appears in form to be there.

This way of seeing is what we call false perception or unforgiveness. It holds the form against itself and derives meaning from it, suggesting the form is defining meaning from the outside in, telling us a story of truth through perception.

But all we're doing here is failing to overlook the form, we're fixating on differences, emphasising the way one thing is not like another, finding the ways that nothing is shared between them, and trying to elicit meaningfulness from the uniqueness of the objects.

When something then seems to go horribly wrong, there is a severe damage to the body, a car is crashing, a house is on fire, or any other such drama in which form is screaming at us to believe it, if we only look at it based on its form we will be horrified.

Whatever the form dictates we'll take as truth, and will react accordingly. We'll absorb the hierarchy of illusions and have emotional reactions and disturbance based entirely on what the situation appears to be. We can't seem to rest in peace until all the forms have resume their proper arrangement and the bodies have stopped dying and the threats and dangers and pointed spiky things have become blunted.

If all we do is look at the physical world, believing everything we see, not questioning anything, falling for differences and appearances, buying into every little nuance of change and inequality in order to tell what's going on and what it means, we are lost and blinded. There is nothing so blinding as perceiving forms.

Forgiveness asks for an entirely different way of looking at this. It does not mean that you continue to focus on specific, individual, exclusive, separate things, in exactly the same was as before, with the body's eyes, but trying to find some kind of new angle on it. This is not an improvement whatsoever.

Forgiveness actually requires that all the sense of differences, inequalities, uniqueness, shapes, sizes, colors, behaviours, all physical properties, be completely OVERLOOKED, not dwelled upon, not seen, not thought to mean anything, not thought to dictate what the situation is, and no sense of truth whatsoever is derived from them.

Forgiveness must transcend the form entirely and look past it, past all sense of "many separate things" to look for a singular oneness of truth. And that truth is not inherent to those forms, or a part of them, but lies beyond them, because the forms were made to hide the truth entirely and to obscure all meaning. This is why Christ Vision does not become distracted by bodies or forms or the planet and looks past it to the light, to real meaning which lies beyond all objects and all physicality.

When we are buying into the way the world looks, with separate objects vying for attention, objects at war with each other, objects having differences, and being deceived to believe that these differences are important and meaningful, we are not being forgiving. We are being lost in a dream and falling for an illusion.

The appearance of one object seeming to have properties that another object does not have, if regarded as meaning something, is an illusion. It deceives you just by looking at it and not seeing through the disguise. Believing that a bike is not a house and a car is not an airplane, your vision splits apart and separates out and becomes totally fragmented, turning into a hierarchy of illusions instead of a singular vision.

These appearances of different form are all lies and deceptions designed to steer the body's physical sight down a rabbit hole into a dark corner where the mind cannot escape. This is temptation. This is falsely perceiving. This is believing the world is real and that constantly shifting forms and constantly dying objects are somehow the truth.

To forgive we have to find a way to not simply regard "what happens physically" to be in any way true, in any way a whole story, or in any way meaningful. A dark disturbing physical situation should not be seen as dark and disturbing. The darkness and dustrbingness are just properties of its form, the appearance it's taking, and is NOT meaningful.

A bloodied body should not induce feelings of horror and upset, otherwise the form is now acting like a cause and is dictating the truth based on its shape and appearance. A broken body, a disabled body, a suffering person, a scenario of starvation, a warzone, a battlefield, are all deceptive lies in which objects in certain forms suggest that certain things are true, that bad things have happened and that they are real.

Configuraitons of objects are meaningless. The entire physical world is meaningless. Its forms do NOT mean anything at all. Bodies in one state and not another does not mean anything. Sickness in one form or another does not mean anything. Bodies seeming to be alive or dead does not mean anything. These differences are all lies. A change in form from one state to another is utterly meaningless.

Remember that we have given everything all the meaning that we think it has, but typically we're doing this by looking at the form of objects and asking it to dictate TO us what "that" means. One shape means this, another shape means that. If the shape changes, the meaning changes. And then our response to it changes.

What we need to be striving for is a complete ignoring of all forms, all physicality, all objects, looking past it with forgiveness, taking none of it seriously, believing nothing we see through physical sight, ignoring all differences, having absolutely no change of reaction when external circumstances change, and being completely unmoved by the bullshit lies and temptations of the physical world. Not one single thing the physical seems to suggest is true. And nothing that happens physically is really possible in God's reality.

True meaning comes from God and is a singular whole meaning, a consistent unconditional meaning, which does not change or waver. It is the meaning of love and is so genuine and valuable that it is truly meaningful to us. It is all that means anything at all to us, and it's all that we really want. We can look out through this one meaning onto a world of a trillion meanings and disregard all the world's claims as false. Nothing in the world matters and it means nothing.

A teacher of God, a healer, does not consider for a moment the appearances of form, the forms of sickness, the stories of suffering about how this form came about, the family history, the background of what happens or the chain of events. None of it means anything and none of it is a cause. The miraculous mind considers only administering the love and truth that is missing, extending the power of God to fill and erase the gap, ignoring the form entirely.

The forms may change, the body may heal, the world may resurrect, but these too are illusions that ultimately mean nothing. Temporarily they symbolise changes in the mind and perception but ultimately there is no world to mean anything anyway. How can a world which does not exist mean something, and how can the events that transpire mean anything at all? There is no meaning to be found in a meaningless world. Only God's Kingdom of heaven has any meaning at all.

"See how the body's eyes rest on externals, and CANNOT go beyond. Watch how they STOP at nothingness, unable to go BEYOND the form to meaning."

"Nothing so blinding as perception of form. For sight of form MEANS understanding HAS BEEN obscured. Only MISTAKES have different forms, and so they CAN deceive. You CAN change form, BECAUSE it is not true. It COULD not be reality, BECAUSE it can be changed. Reason will tell you that, if form is NOT reality, it MUST be an illusion. And is Not THERE to see. And, IF you see it, you MUST be mistaken, for you are seeing what can NOT be real, as if it WERE. What cannot see BEYOND what is not there, MUST be distorted perception. And must perceive illusions AS THE TRUTH. Could it, then, RECOGNIZE the truth?"

"Therefore, He OPPOSES differences in form as meaningful, and emphasizes always that THESE DIFFERENCES DO NOT MATTER."

"ONLY the form of error attracts the ego. Meaning it does not RECOGNIZE, and does not know if it is there or not. Everything which the body's eyes can see is a mistake, an error in perception, a distorted fragment of the whole, without the meaning that the whole would give."

"There IS no meaning in the form, AND THERE WILL NEVER BE."

"What is perceived takes many forms, but NONE has meaning. Brought to truth, its senselessness is quite apparent. Kept APART from truth, it SEEMS to have a meaning and be real."

"Illusions ARE but forms. Their content is NEVER true."

"For form is not enough for meaning"

"The Holy Spirit is not concerned with form at all, being aware only of MEANING."

"Creation cannot even be conceived of in the world. It has no meaning here. Forgiveness is the closest it can come to earth. For being Heaven-borne, it has no form at all. Yet God created One Who has the power to translate into form the wholly formless. What He makes are dreams, but of a kind so close to waking that the light of day already shines in them, and eyes already opening behold the joyful sights their offerings contain."

"Come home. You have not found your happiness in foreign places, and in alien forms which have no meaning to you, though you sought to make them meaningful. This world is not where you belong. You are a stranger here."

"Bodies may battle, but the clash of forms is meaningless."

"God knows not form. He CANNOT answer you in terms which have no meaning. And YOUR will could not BE satisfied with empty forms, made but to fill a gap which is not there."

"Fear is the emotion of the world. It has but one. Its forms are many - call them what you will - but it is one in content."

Jesus suggested to me that some form of meditation might help me to find some 'clarity and hope'. His instruction was to relax.

So the past couple of mornings I've done a very simple, easy meditation which completely quiets the mind very quickly with no effort. In fact I don't even focus on trying to quiet the mind, it was an unexpected side effect.

The 'meditation' is simply to lay down and thoroughly relax the body. That's all. The only part my mind plays is to constantly focus on relaxing, letting tensions ease, noticing any muscle tightness, sinking down into the bed, letting the fascial muscles relax, the shoulders sink down, etc. My goal is a 'feeling' I get when the body is really deeply relaxed.

As I focus constantly on relaxing as much as possible, very unexpectedly, no thoughts happen. I don't even need to try to stop any thoughts, there just aren't any. My mind is fully focused on getting the body to relax physically.

As the body relaxes physically, when it truly is relaxed, you get this sensation of physical stillness. Breathing is still happening. I pay no attention to trying to control the breath. The breath automatically slows down and becomes smaller as a side-effect of focusing on relaxing. There is no breath control needed.

After a time, maybe 10-15 minutes, I find that I need to be extra soft, gentle, and subtle, in terms of my attention to keeping things relaxed, because the sensation of relaxation is quite easily disturbed or stirred up. This focus on calmness and minimal interference and letting go, seems to tune the mind and keeps all thoughts silent. Probably also the focus on the whole body relaxing at once is a 'big enough' target that the mind has no attention left to create thoughts. The goal is simply the sensation you get when the body is completely relaxed all over, which is a feeling of being very settled, still, calm, almost like levitating.

As I do this I generally find myself falling asleep as well, it's a good way to get to sleep. I'm not bothered by that. What I did find this second time is that toward the end, I had a sudden unexpected moment of 'awareness', in which I became more aware and it seemed as though that was accompanied by an even further 'stilling' of the mind, beyond what I thought was possible. It felt like a clarifying, a sharpening, and a clearing. It wasn't like enlightenment or anything but it was a definite sudden burst of awareness.

The main thing I am getting from the meditation, besides feeling very relaxed, which also has the side-effect of helping to tune out of other people's energies that I've empathed and I 'come back to myself', is that it gives me a subtler clarity about certain situations in life, and also about the activities of my mind, what my thoughts are doing, etc. It shines a light on things and shows me a greater truth somehow, things I didn't realize I was doing. I didn't realize how much mind-chatter I have, normally, contrasted by absolutely no thoughts during this exercise.

I'm most surprised that thoughts stop completely when doing this. I know that focusing the mind can do that - focusing on a breath or a mantra or word or single idea or whatever... but when I do those things, my mind is still noisy and doesn't shut up all the way, and after a while it starts to go into deeper daydreams and stuff. Doing this body relaxation exercise I get absolutely no thoughts of any kind the whole time, provided I keep my focus on being as gentle and subtly relaxed as possible. It makes me wonder what this connection is between agitation in the body and agitation in the mind. But probably it's that I'm getting my mind to focus on calmness, quietness, stillness, being settled, and the body is sort of a 'prop' for the mind to use to achieve that, through focusing on its relaxation. Tying the mind and body together perhaps, so that the mind relaxes with the body.

Of course, meditations also produce emotional releases afterwards.

Holy Spirit is performing perfect forgiveness all the time. He is 'forgiving' all the time. This doesn't so much mean he is constantly beavering around trying to fix stuff and undo stuff. He isn't MAKING errors, so there is nothing to un-make. He gives ahead of the need for correction, so that correction already 'is'. He is already correct, and he fore-gives (gives first) in order to be protected FROM making mistakes.

Only a failure to fore-give means you have withheld the truth and therefore have projected an error, and therefore will perceive an error seeming to be real, and it will attack you, and you will try to attack it back to make it go away.

Clearly we need to get back to the kind of way of 'perceiving' that Holy Spirit is a constant example of, so that the presence of the errors we are making will cease. What we need to 'undo' is our failure to forgive, our error-making or errors in judgement. If we're seeing something incorrectly we will see something in need of correction. So how do you get to where something incorrect is corrected? You stop seeing incorrectly.

The process of transitioning from our failure to forgive, to 'being forgiving always', is what we usually think of as our 'forgiveness process', but really it is a PROCESS of correction, which LEADS TO a forgiving attitude. Forgiveness looks back upon what has been corrected and perceives that it is forgiven, because it is perceived forgivingly. Forgiveness is a CONSTANT STATE, not a one-off event.

Although Holy Spirit is constantly 'forgiving', as in has a forgiving attitude, this forgiving attitude ENSURES there is nothing to forgive. Forgiveness is pro-active. It is a state of grace and innocence from which errors are not made or seen. Once you make errors, you make errors seem real, and you do need correction because forgiveness has failed and you've entered into a false judgement. But when no errors are being made, you are 'fore-giving' all the time.

So it seems like another paradox that the ego struggles to understand. When you are fore-giving, there is nothing to forgive BECAUSE of the forgiving attitude. But when you fail to fore-give, you CREATE stuff that needs to be forgiven. It needs forgiveness then in the sense that you need to RETURN to forgiveness in order to dispel it, which MUST mean moving PAST the error to return back to where forgiveness IS.

Thus forgiveness OVERLOOKS the error in order to recognize that it does not exist and is not continuing to be made. When you fail to overlook, you look AT, and this is what the error is - a failure to extend love by stopping it. Love that has been stopped becomes 'form', including the body. Once love overlooks the body in forgiveness, it no longer MAKES the body real (the body is an error), and thus undoes it, having no need for it.

For a mind that is used to everything proceeding backwards and in the form of ego thoughts and counter-attacks and reactions, it can be hard at first to grasp how to 'un-do' rather than 'do'. Forgiveness isn't something you do TO errors, it's something you do INSTEAD of errors, so that you can be RESTORED to a forgiving mind where the error doesn't exist.

God shares the forgiving attitude of the Holy Spirit. This doesn't as such mean that God forgives, because there is nothing to forgive and God does not condemn. Yet God IS 'forgiving' in the sense of being 'fore-giving' because if he failed to be forgiving he would enter into condemnation (of himself) and all would be lost. In this sense, God forgives you for having NOT REALLY DONE any of the things you think you did in error and mistake, because He knows that they have not happened. Your belief that they have is your failure to forgive and he does not share this mistake.

Fortunately, because God IS fore-giving, this ensures there is always a forgiving home to return to, where error/dreams/bodies/worlds do not exist, and where we are always completely loved unconditionally. Forgiveness calls for overlooking all errors all of the time with absolutely no single moment of 'dwelling on' them to ponder how they demand punishment. Forgiveness relinquishes the need for punishment of any kind, including death, because in forgiveness you are innocent, holy and error-free forever.

In the ego's world, someone has to be to blame for everything that happens. It's way of thinking is a very closed system. No matter what happens, if something happens, someone is to blame for it, even if that person had barely any control over it or much to do with it at all. To the ego, this is responsibility.

The ego wants you to confess that you are, in fact, guilty, and that you do, in fact, deserve punishment, because you did, in fact, separate from God and make all manner of shit happen. To the ego, this is being responsible and 'mature'.

In the ego's model there is zero room for forgiveness. Absolutely no forgiveness whatsoever. Everything that 'happens' in the physical world is proof, to the ego, that it has caused "real consequences" to occur as a result of separating from God. It is evidence of sin, and proves that everyone involved is guilty without question. To the ego, anything 'happening' in this world is a sin, and only sin can happen. To the ego, nothing unsinful can ever happen and God is impossible, meaning innocence is impossible.

So to the ego, when someone makes a mistake, maybe they bump into the fridge and it knocks a glass tray that was resting on the top and it crashes to the floor, you can bet, to the ego, that person is "responsible" for this entire thing. Not just the accidental bumping, not just the item falling down, not just the smashing, but all of it. Every single bit of it. And, to the ego, every single bit of it was ON PURPOSE, completely deliberate and intentional, producing real irreversible effects. It will point the finger in condemnation and declare "you have sinned". The ego has no concept of `not on purpose` or `unintentional` or `accidental` because that would suggest not guilty, which it refuses to accept.

To the ego there is no room for anything happening without it being involved in guilt in some way. To the ego, nothing occurs but without someone's deliberate intention and involvement, and therefore every single thing proves that someone is guilty. The ego claims that if you own up to this and "accept responsibility" for this and take full responsibility upon yourself for every single part of what happened, then and only then might you be excused or let off. If there is even the slightest hint of what seems like a resistance to accepting this "responsibility" it will condemn you further for avoidance and irresponsible carelessness. It demands you must own up to what you did (sin), that you must completely admit to it (it happened), that you did it intentionally (its your fault) and that you should enter into shame and guilt and suffering because you DESERVE it.

This is not responsibility. It is condemnation. It is a death sentence. When you hold other people to these standards, where the ego exalts the idea of getting someone to admit to being wrong, you hold yourself to that standard also and therefore find yourself constantly guilty for every little thing you do. You don't really want that. It's a way to be a victim and to be constantly tortured and therefore in need of being constantly 'good' in order to avoid making even a tiny mistake.

It's okay to make mistakes and break shit and do things wrong and be in error and not know everything and not be accountable for every single little consequence of events set in motion. You're not guilty for clouds moving, or objects falling, or people bumping into each other. You're not even guilty for seeming to deliberately do something wrong. Why does mistakedness have to always call for judgement and attack and the 'justice' of punishment? Punishment is never justified and it fails to correct anything, so it does not really stand for a pure or right way of living but only for how to get fucked over when you step out of line.

True responsibility MUST include the concept of you being 100% innocent. True responsibility must mean that no matter what you did or what effects it had or how serious or whatever, you are still innocent. It must mean you are unconditionally innocent. There is nothing like this in the ego's repertoir. To let you off the hook here and there it would see as begrudging pardons, or stern warnings, and it would never ever consider that you could be wholly found innocent for EVERYTHING that you seemed to do as a blanket statement. Yet Holy Spirit sees only your innocence.

Do you deserve judgement, condemnation, proof of fault, the justice of punishment, self hatred and shame, or some horrific shock treatment in retaliation for an accident? Nope. You're not guilty, no matter what. You made a big giant mess? You deserve love. You totally fucked up your life? You deserve love. And you broke everyone else's favorite toys? If they have a shit-fit that's not exactly your responsibility. Not to justify any behavior. But you're always innocent. Always. And only by being innocent can you be truly responsible. Because you have a responsibility to BE INNOCENT.

People that make mistakes need to be returned to a corrected state of not making those mistakes. They need to be returned to love. This is in the best interests of everyone. It is completely against everyone to punish that person or to feed lies and attack into them. That causes them to become your enemy. You don't want that. It's in everyone's interests that everyone be forgiven and reminded of the truth of who they are. We all need to own up to being God's innocent child. We all need to take responsibility for being who we authentically are, not who people condemn us for being. Responsibility WITHOUT the guilt.

True responsibility means ownership without blame. It also means that only the extension of God happens and there aren't any other consequences. It means everything is correctable. It means mistakes call for forgiveness and love, not punishment. It means you are let off the hook even before anything happens. It means that when stuff happens, you should be laughing, because it does NOT prove anything about your worth. It also means that you're not guilty when you make mistakes and you do not need to claim the guilt that surrounds them. You can own up to being mistaken, which is helpful, but this should never mean "I really did it".

"But you can confuse yourself with things that do."

The entire function of the Curriculum, is to return you to awareness of Heaven, your true home, where you remain with God in PERFECT IMMORTALITY.

Every single thing in the course is geared towards you unlearning death and rediscovering eternal life. This is why the curriculum ends in the RESURRECTION, and why leaving the world through death is not graduation.

IMMORTALITY is your "birthright". It is God-Given. Your inheritance. And it is absolutely constantly perfectly sustained by God's will FOREVER. Which means even as you dream of mortality, you are still immortal in God. And nothing you can ever do can ever change this.

If we were to recognize this, simply the fact that you can never stop being immortal should tell you that all efforts to BE mortal are futile. All efforts to die are futile. All efforts to be sick are futile. All choices for unhappiness are futile.

Only in acceptance of your ETERNAL NATURE can you recognize the absolute permanence of your immortal nature, which can be rejected only through denial, and not through changing the truth. This is what Atonement is really about. Recognizing you are IMMORTAL.

Every single part of A Course in Miracles is steering you towards an ownership of your IMMORTAL CHRIST NATURE. A reclaiming of your unlimited power. A restoration of the wholeness of your undivided will. A RESURRECTION, BACK to immortality, from illusory states of degradation and death. And this include all forms of healing and the reversal of physical sickness.

The entire point of realizing you are not a body is to realize that your IMMORTAL SOUL has no need for such nonsense. The body was an attempt to make something which CAN DIE, and its ultimate purpose through the ego is to prove that this is possible. To the ego, it is born TO die, and there is no way out.

The Holy Spirit's repurposing of the body is entirely geared towards rendering the body ultimately unnecessary, using it ONLY as a device to help you to UNLEARN your belief in death, and restore your sanity, so that you can LEAVE IT and return to simply being immortal spirit in Heaven.

Nothing short of your absolutely permanent immortality is appropriate as a goal. This is why the Song of Prayer states that the only goal you should have is to return to GOD. Because through returning to Him, you return to yourself, and simply CONTINUE being immortal.

IT IS ALL ABOUT IMMORTALITY.

IMMORTALITY IS AT THE CORE OF THE CURRICULUM.

IMMORTALITY IS WHAT YOU NEED TO "LEARN", or rather, RECOGNIZE, by unlearning that which claims otherwise.

Being immortal means you can never change. It means you can never be sick or die. It means you cannot be limited. It means you continue forever in total perfection. It means nothing can happen to you ever. It means you are not at the effect of anything but God. It means you cannot sin and your innocence is permanent.

You are a rock solid PERMANENT LIGHT shining in the skies of heaven. Shining FOREVER. Continuously. Constantly. Unfaltering. Unwavering. Absolutely immaculate. Perfect in every way.

And this can never change. God cannot change it. Jesus cannot change it. You cannot change it. No one has ever changed this fact. YOU ARE AN IMMORTAL BEING. And anything else that contradicts this immortality is NOT TRUE OF YOU, IS NOT REAL, DOES NOT EXIST, IS NOT PART OF YOU, AND IS NOT NEEDED.

You are permanent in God. Endless. Deathless. Changeless. Fearless. Incorruptible. Unattackable. Unassailable. Constant. Eternal. Immortal.

Once again, last evening, I asked God what he wanted me to 'do', thinking that there were actions or things to 'do', and His reply to me was:

"Receive."

I realize that my ego mind is SO used to 'seeking', which is kind of like an activity of 'going out' to try to manipulate the world, to find, to fix, to change, to perform actions, to rearrange furniture, etc.

It's like, we have a motor in our mind. The motor wants to keep running. It wants to keep going somewhere. It wants to keep doing something different. Finding something different. Searching for answers. Changing someone. It is all do do do do do do do go go go go go go all the time. This is its ONLY mode of operation.

And all of that is really encapsulated in the word "seeking". The ego mind is just constantly in this activity of seeking. Of thinking that it has to go somewhere or do something in order to 'get' or 'find' what it does not have HERE AND NOW.

So when I go to God and I ask, what should I DO.... really I'm saying, what should i seek for and where should I go to find it and what should I do to change it. And I have the best intentions. I think that this is noble or honest or helpful or holy or spiritual. But really, it is still seeking. It's still ego going away from the here and now, away from acceptance, away from stillness or surrender.

So God's answer to me - "receive" - really DOES actually address what the real problem is. The real problem is that I am addicting to seeking, because I continue to have this ego belief that I DO NOT HAVE GOD. This is what it all boils down to. If I'm absent from God and am not with God now and do not have God in me, then I seem to need to go fill this emptiness somewhere else.

So the remedy is clear and simple. I need to RECEIVE GOD. I need to open up to accept, admit and allow (the 3 A's?), that GOD IS HERE WITH ME NOW.

And this also means I need to SURRENDER the search, surrender the 'going and doing', surrender the 'something has to be done about this', and surrender all of the things I think are needed or have to be done 'because of' the lack of God. If I just accept that I am lacking God, I will be compelled to go find answers somewhere else, in some activity or change or manipulation. And I will think that God has to tell me what to DO in order to ACHIEVE those changes and manipulations, as if that would actually answer and solve them.

I don't realize that all of this compulsion to find - the seeking - satisfying that seeking or completing that seeking by finding outside of myself, WILL NOT bring me peace. AND, I will not be able to find those resolutions anyway because of "seek and do not find". What I think I want, is not there. The answer (God) is not there. The peace and certainty and clarity is not out there. The only thing 'out there' are illusions and distractions and dead ends.

So God knows. God knows what I need. God knows that I need to stop GOING AWAY FROM GOD, in order for this 'problem' to be solved. In order for ALL problems to be solved. Even the ones that I think are important, or every-day living types of problems. For these to be solved, I need to realize where they come from. ALL of these problems arise out of not knowing that God is with me. Of not depending on Him. I need to therefore undo THAT issue, which is by allowing God to be with me, and then the perception of all of these problems even being 'important' in any way, will dissolve.

"Let me recognize that all of my problems have been solved" - ACIM

And so.... I stop...... and I surrender....... and I receive God. And I just receive. And receive some more. And I say, "ok God, go ahead and flood me with more love".... and I receive more.... and I say "ok God, I receive your love, I receive your love, I receive your love". And I feel it. And I receive it. And all of the problems of life melt away. And who cares about fixing any of them anyway? They were all IMAGINARY!

All you need is love. It's being given constantly. You just need to receive it.

Usually we want to get rid of everything we do not like, everything that feels harmful, every fear, every upset, every ounce of grief or loss. We want to get rid of all our enemies and things that hurt.

But this is actually the ego in action. It wants to get rid of these things because there is a potential that these things might be used to wake you up.

So long as you're in the midst of a lesson, in which something seems to be against your will, you will have this sense of "I don't want this and it shouldn't be happening". This is the ego's reaction. It does not want you to use this opportunity for forgiveness. It does not want you to learn the lesson.

Not that the ego is arbitrarily against you. You made it and you asked it to do this for you. You wanted it to deflect you away from sources of healing, from anything that might trigger an awakening to truth. You wanted it to keep telling you that stuff isn't supposed to happen to you, and you wanted it to make you see things as if they are happening against your will. That way you could stay asleep.

But each time you try to 'get rid of' what you do not like, or be free of a lesson, or fix a problem, or make a bad person go away, or stop something from happening, you're really using ego denial. And you do this in the name of spirituality.

You think it is spiritual to have a life where there are no problems, where nothing is happening to you, where you have no enemies, where everything goes well, where people seem to just adore you, and where you aren't hurt or offended by anyone. I mean, as a goal that's great... That could be true of real spirituality, but the ego wants this goal WITHOUT awakening.

So that means, getting rid of all protagonists, all offenders, all enemies, and all threats. It tells you you shouldn't be afraid and that fear is a bad thing. It tells you not to be guilty. It even tells you you should be constantly happly or people-pleasing. These are all deceptive ways the ego gets you to NOT deal with your shit, and it forms a spiritualized ego.

When you are afraid, that's very good, because you are being confronted with the results of some belief that you have and it's coming into your awareness. This is a great opportunity. Instead of the fear hiding out in the back of your mind, it's being brought into awareness. You don't like it, for sure, but recognize it is an opportunity because now some normally hidden dark shit has come out into the open where you can take a look at it.

It's all about how you use things - whether you use it to deny your shit or use it to bring light to your shit and undo it. So you could take the fact you're scared as a great opportunity to look at WHY you are scared, rather than to just want the fear to go away. It's pretty normal to want the fear to go away, but it's not healthy. It is healthier to take a look at it with Holy Spirit and find out why you are afraid... What guilt is the fear based on? What's the deeper cause of it? Why do you want it? How's it serving you to keep you in the dark? Where is the so-called truth that surrounds the fear to make it seem justified? What is the real truth of this situation?

Its the same with feeling guilty, upset, angry, offended, whatever... Each time this stuff comes to your awareness it's a great opportunity to heal and undo. So don't try to hide this stuff away. Don't shove it back down or want to get rid of it or to avoid it. And don't blame people for triggering it off - they're trying to help you to look at the stuff you don't want to look at. You're better off dealing with it and then being done with it, rather than constantly hiding from it and feeling its torment in the back of your mind, only to keep resurfacing saying "please acknowledge me and recognize my message to help you grow, and please use me for awakening."

This is all great material. Great opportunities to make progress. It's hard work but it's worth it, and it's far better for you than to want to just keep making this stuff go away. You can be free of it permanently if you deal with it properly and heal it. Isn't that better?