This might sound obvious and a no-brainer, but it can be quite obscure to both realize and believe and accept that God is with you at all times. Like, intimately inside you.
It can feel safer, for example, to relate to the Holy Spirit or Jesus, keep an abstract, nebulous idea of God further afield at a distance. After all, direct full experience of God is typically a revelation experience, seemingly once in a lifetime.
I only occasionally remember to really commune with God and to get an experience of Him being right here with me right now, like, close-up, inside my mind. Experiencable. Then I forget. As my mind then wanders off on tangents of thinking, it's as if I'm so quickly forgetting that God is present each and every time. God is like this ultimate truth and reality which is "blocked" by any kind of block to awareness and so easily out of sight, out of mind.
But I've been dabbling with this moreso recently, of allowing and accepting God to be with me. The other day I had this nice open experience, where the Holy Spirit was revealing his love and helping me to know that God has not only "always been here" but will "always be here".
It's interesting that God is so permanently present. He is always here. He's with you now. He's always been with you. Just saying that fills me with something divine. The question isn't so much whether God connects with you or not but whether you slip off into a snooze and start dreaming of something else, imagining you are exiled away from where God is.
"You are safe in God, dreaming of exile, but perfectly capable of waking to reality."
It seems so basic and primitive, just the notion that God Himself would be close to you, that you would share with Him, directly communicate with Him, allow His Presence to fill you, receive His love, know HIm, on a long-term basis and not as a "hi how are ya" that lasts for 10 seconds. But as we approach God, perhaps this time accepting, allowing, inviting and being with God, in God, extends until it becomes permanent. And then you are always AWARE that you are with God at all times.
As Jesus said, he was always with God and aware of His Presence. It is that kind of openness and clarity and joining and relationship that is a prerequisite for miracle working.
Fear is always a fear of something that does not exist, is not happening, has not happened, and you cannot overcome. You can do nothing about the things you are afraid of, because they do not exist. You can't change them, because they're not there. You can't oppose them or go up against them because they're not there. In fact you can't do anything about things which don't exist.
This is what makes such things frightening. Believing they exist, while they don't, makes you think something non-existent is happening. Something unreal is being seen. Something that has no substance or truth or love seems to be happening to you. And you are afraid automatically purely because it represents an alien will, a causality, a source of something, outside and beyond what you are.
You exist, and illusions do not exist. When you, as existing, present yourself with imagined scenarios of non-existent things, you are presenting yourself with stuff that you have no power to do anything about. It's almost as if the nothingness becomes a somethingness, and yet is still nothing, but you imagine it has powers and abilities and a will and a mind a capability of deciding your fate. And yet because it is nothing, you are completely powerless to do anything to stop it. Hence you are afraid.
This is why the course says things like "I am upset because I see something that is not there". You are upset because you are imagining, hallucinating, that something exists that does not. You are seeing it because you believe in it, but it is not real. So now you are seeing things which are not real, which is disturbing. If unreal things seem to have reality, or seem to be happening, and you think they are really there, you're going to be in automatic terror. Who wouldn't be upset at the suggestion that a non-existent void of nothingness and total death is rising up to attack them?
The way out of fear then isn't so much to do with wrestling with what you seem to be afraid of or what the nothingness is doing or what control you are trying to have over it. The way out is to not fear. Simple as that. Which means to no make up these dreams of fiction in the first place. Because you are doing it to yourself. It's your own mind that makes up all of the thoughts and imaginings that you are afraid of. All of the unreal stuff that you come up, frightens you. And it's you doing it.
You cannot be afraid of God, in recognition of his true nature, because he is real. Nothing real is frightening. Nothing real attacks or harms anything. Nothing real is offensive or needs controlling. Nothing real implies you need protection and defenses. Reality is perfect safety. In reality there is no disturbing of your peace or upsetting of your mind. There is nothing to fear, when God is here.
You'll often hear talk of how "my ego this" and how "the ego" that. A lot of clout and blame is pinned on "the ego" now. It's used to describe all kinds of stuff in the world and in life.
People have even turned it into a kind of enemy that they fight with and blame and try to accuse for doing stuff. The label is thrown around like there actually is an ego, and then you'll hear explanations for why it doesn't "really" exist except in a dream.
There are widely common interpretations that Jesus is describing "the ego" in the course and therefore "the ego" is a thing or an entity or a something, that is responsible for some bad stuff. And this sets up a whole premise of being at war with it.
This is all confusion. Jesus is NOT trying to suggest that the ego exists AT ALL, not even fictionally in a dream. So let's put aside any belief that there is such a thing as "the ego", and we'll start from scratch.
God's world, heaven, reality, has various qualities, characteristics, properties etc. It has a nature. For example it's immortal, alive, permanent, perfect, whole, innocent, etc.
"Ego", is nothing more than, a CONCEPT OF, the "opposite to all that is".
Someone had a thought in their mind, like, "What if the opposite to God's Kingdom is true?" And so began the tiny mad idea.
This is ENTIRELY conceptual. It's someone sitting there just wondering, imagining, theorizing. Asking themselves, "what is the opposite of all this?" Or indeed, "what if I OPPOSE all of this?"
We simply tried to use our free will to oppose free will, or to "create" (will) that there be an outcome OPPOSITE to what God wills. A "mis-creation" or a "mis-use" of will. That is all.
This was a silly idea, ridiculous in fact. To try to use will, to make yourself NOT will, is obviously circular logic and makes no sense. It's impossible to will to be unwilling. But this is what you tried to do. You tried to put your will to sleep, to disempower your creative powers, and to strip yourself of what you are. To oppose yourself.
So ego is just this idea of opposition. What would it be like if there was an opposite to everything real? The opposite to life would be death. The opposite to permanence would be impermanence. The opposite to happiness would be unhappiness. The opposite to existence would be non-existence (death).
Now it's important to also put BELIEF on hold because I'm not even talking about BELIEVING IN this concept yet. At this point we're happily sitting in heaven just theorizing. Asking a question. "What?" Questioning everything, which is an attempt to oppose it.
What you come up with conceptually is, the idea of "non-existent impossibility." This non-existence, by definition, DOES NOT EXIST. It's not some real place you can go and visit. You can't live there. You cannot be its nature. It's ENTIRELY theoretical. Non-existence DOES NOT EXIST. It's the idea of being OUTSIDE of and completely SEPARATE from, existence. And existence is God.
So we started out with just a conceptual notion, an idea of an opposite to God's nature. An idea of NOT existing. And fundamentally we could never actually DO that. We could not LEAVE God and go where God is not. We couldn't get outside of God to go to that "non-existent" place. It's impossible. Literally totally impossible.
For example God is infinite and is everywhere. So you cannot go be somewhere and expect him not to be there also. Everywhere you go, God is there. He is omnipresent. So this idea is an idea of, what if you could go and be somewhere that God is not? Which is obviously a totally ridiculous idea, and no sane person would give two seconds of thought before laughing at being outside of infinite unlimited boundaryless reality.
So first we came up with this theoretical notion of "an opposite to what is". This was prior to believing in it. And at this point we were still sane. What made it a MAD idea, or turned us mad, was that we then attempted to CLAIM or assert, that you actually CAN go where God is not, you actually CAN be opposite to his nature, you actually CAN be unwilling.
You BELIEVED IN IT by denying its obvious impossibility, thus making you unable to RECOGNIZE it for what it is, and thus losing sight of the fact that it IS impossible. You became confused and lost.
This obviously was a form of denial and confusion and being totally mistaken. The logic shows that its impossible, but you insisted anyway. To insist that something is possible that is patently impossible, is essentially "nuts". BELIEVING IT in spite of its ridiculousness, became the only problem.
It was only when you forgot to laugh at the ridiculous notion of not existing, that you took it seriously. And you became deceived, tempted, and you "fell" into delusions, denial, hallucination, confusion, mistakenness, and all manner of fantasy nightmares. You lost track of WHAT IS TRUE AND REAL, and so went insane.
What were you trying to do? You were trying to MAKE non-existence be TRUE of you. Whatever you believe is true of you, you regard as your IDENTITY. Your truth describes you, defines you, establishes WHAT you are. And originally this was God's truth about you. But now you were attempting to assert that some OPPOSITE truth was true of you. And so your sense of WHAT I AM, your identity, became CONFUSED WITH, or caught up in, identified WITH or "matching" this notion of being opposite to what you are.
You did not actually make an ego as such. You did not accomplish the making of a non-existent self, because it is impossible. You did not ACTUALLY get outside of God's existence. You did not reach non-existence. You did not cease to exist. BUT, you BELIEVED YOU COULD. And so you DREAMED OF "the ego". A dream of the ego concept is NOT the same thing as ACTUALLY being it or bringing it into existence.
So when you believe that "the ego concept" (impossible non-existence) is POSSIBLE, your sense of IDENTITY shifts to align with it, to reflect it, to mirror it. You try to BE LIKE it. To be one with it. To merge with it and make it true of you, thus redefining your whole sense of what you are. And so by putting belief in "opposites to reality", your sense of WHAT IS TRUE changed, and thus your sense of WHO I AM changed.
Your sense of identity shifted from your soul, to an IMAGINED idea of what ego might be like. This did not actually make "the ego". You never created a "real ego". You just BELIEVE what is BEYOND your dream on the other side of oblivion. You believed in not existing. You believed in impossibilities. You believed in being opposite to what you are. That is all.
So there is no EGO doing anything whatsoever. There is no EGO taking responsibility for making ANYTHING happen. There is no ego to pin stuff on. There is no ego to say "the ego did this". There is no ego PERIOD. So every time there's someone teaching that "acim says" there is an ego, they are mistaken.
NON EXISTENCE DOES NOT EXIST. THE EGO DOES NOT EXIST.
Not even in dreaming do you go there. Not even in your wildest fantasies can you ever CREATE an ego. You never have. All you've done is TRIED to exchange God's reality for UNREALITY. Which means, taking everything true about God and trying to make it false. And taking everything untrue about God and trying to make it true. This results in CONFUSION (insanity) and that is all.
If you believe something is possible which isn't, you are not sane. If you believe you are IN the non-existent realm outside of God, you are insane. If you think you DID become separate and thus are OUTSIDE God, you are insane. But that IS what you believe, and that BELIEF is the tiny mad idea. The notion that the ego concept is OPPOSITE to what the ego concept IS.
Earth is just a neutral fantasy ABOUT non-existent realms, an attempt to REFLECT hell/ego/impossibility, as an "image" in the mind IMAGINING what having no imagination is like. Thinking about what having NO thought is like. Being unwilling to will anything real.
Let's put this another way. If the ego concept is non-existence, impossibility, death, nowhere-ness, lovelessness, emptiness, etc... in your BELIEF in it, you have tried to assign it the attributes of heaven, reality, truth, and God. You've tried to BRING IT TO LIFE. You've tried to turn hell into heaven, you've tried to claim that non-existence exists, you've tried to assert that immortality can be killed, etc. You've produced an entire hallucinated world based on this attempt to oppose life and make NOT LIFE appear to "live."
The body is nothing. The world is nothing. But in our BELIEVING (spacetime), we have TRIED to make it APPEAR AS IF bodies live, worlds evolve, there are "life forms" etc. it is NOT LIFE. It is an illusion. it is nothingness pretending to be something.
"There is no life outside of Heaven. Where God created life, there life must be. In any state apart from Heaven life is illusion. At best it seems like life; at worst, like death. Yet both are judgments on what is not life, equal in their inaccuracy and lack of meaning. Life not in Heaven is impossible, and what is not in Heaven is not anywhere. Outside of Heaven, only the conflict of illusion stands; senseless, impossible and beyond all reason, and yet perceived as an eternal barrier to Heaven. Illusions are but forms. Their content is never true."
So there literally is no ego. We need to stop blaming "the ego" for stuff. EGO IS NON-EXISTENCE. It does not exist even in dreaming. There is no ego anywhere. Evil is not real. An absolute opposite to everything does not exist.
"What seems to be the opposite of life is merely sleeping. When the mind elects to be what it is not, and to assume an alien power which it does not have, a foreign state it cannot enter, or a false condition not within its Source, it merely seems to go to sleep a while. It dreams of time; an interval in which what seems to happen never has occurred, the changes wrought are substance-less, and all events are nowhere. When the mind awakes, it but continues as it always was."
"By steadily and consistently cancelling out ALL its effects, EVERYWHERE AND IN ALL RESPECTS, He teaches that the ego does not exist, and PROVES IT."
So what does happen? What does happen is OUR MIND keeps on trying to turn itself into "the ego". It keeps trying to get CLOSER TO the CONCEPTUAL idea of "being ego", which is non-existence and impossibility and total limitation and death and a void and emptiness and lack and darkness and lovelessness. We keep trying to BECOME it, as if reaching through the outskirts of God's being to another world. But we can't. And we NEVER will. So it's all wasted effort. We might as well just accept the truth.
This is why the secret of salvation tells us that we MUST recognize that WE are doing this ALL to ourselves. Not the ego, not the world, it's us. We do the shit, we must undo it. It is NOT the ego, ever. It's part of our own mind running rogue and opposing the rest of our mind. It's us TRYING TO BE opposite. Working against ourselves. We are the dreamer. Miracles reflect the idea that it's this thing I have done and it is this I would undo. ME. My mind. Not "the ego".
You cannot give your power to the ego either. EVER. All you can do is BELIEVE that you are giving your power to "it". And thus YOUR MIND now goes into a distortion, against ITSELF, pretending to be opposed, pretending to BECOME an ego, and acts ego-LIKE, and now you blame "the ego" for stuff, but its PART OF YOU doing stuff to yourself. So now you are disassociated and projecting and trying to make your ideas leave your mind. That is all. Take responsibility for that. Never blame ego for anything. It does not exist whatsoever.
And when I say that I don't even mean, ok, this is a dream, so ego doesn't REALLY exist, cus none of this really happened, but it seems to, and so in the dream it does exist. IT DOES NOT. Ego doesn't even exist IN the dream. It's ENTIRELY just a theoretical concept and label for "absolute opposition". It's BEYOND God completely and even this dream is not THERE. It not here, it's not anywhere, and you can never make contact with it. This is why the Holy Spirit and "the ego" never communicate.
If you could actually leave God completely, and go to where existence is NOT, you've meet "the ego". But you can't and you never will. And all your dream life is about is imagining that you ARE or HAVE or CAN, when you AREN'T and HAVEN'T and CANNOT. It's wishful thinking at best. Ego is nothing but a theory. Which is why when it's gone, it's recognized as nothing.
Replace "the ego" with "I". Your mind is either whole or split. There is nothing else.
"The ego's opposite in every way, in origin, effect and consequence, we call a miracle. And here we find all that is not the ego in this world. Here is the ego's opposite and here alone we look on what the ego was, for here we see all that it seemed to do, and cause and its effects must still be one.
Where there was darkness now we see the light. What is the ego? What the darkness was. Where is the ego? Where the darkness was. What is it now and where can it be found? Nothing and nowhere. Now the light has come: Its opposite has gone without a trace. Where evil was there now is holiness. What is the ego? What the evil was. Where is the ego? In an evil dream that but seemed real while you were dreaming it. Where there was crucifixion stands God's Son. What is the ego? Who has need to ask? Where is the ego? Who has need to seek for an illusion now that dreams are gone?"
This section from "the healing of the dream", Chapter 27, is radical, awesome and mind bending all at once.
It speaks of how forgiveness, which you apply, should not simply forgive, but must also heal YOUR BODY, in order to demonstrate to your brother that HE is forgiven also. That unless forgiveness does this, forgiveness is not COMPLETE.
Some may think this is ridiculous, incorrect, or meaningless. Why show your brother a healed imaginary body? Why bother to heal the body at all? Yet Jesus is VERY clear, that until our forgiveness produces healing of BOTH YOU AND YOUR BROTHER, through a miracle, it is not done.
He goes even further to say that PROVING through DEMONSTRATION that your body is HEALTHY, by healing it along with your mind, speaks far more powerfully to your brother’s sinlessness than anything else you could do.
This is why Jesus also says elsewhere, "the mind AND BODY need atonement", "the mind must be stronger than the body, every miracle DEMONSTRATES this", and "A guiltless mind cannot suffer. Being sane, it HEALS THE BODY."
Open your mind. Take a deep breathe. This speaks to the real power of miracle working even at the PHYSICAL level.
"Forgiveness is not real unless it brings a healing to your brother and yourself. You must attest his sins have no effect on you to demonstrate they are not real. How else could he be guiltless? And how could his innocence be justified unless his sins have no effect to warrant guilt? Sins are beyond forgiveness just because they would entail effects that cannot be undone and overlooked entirely. In their undoing lies the proof that they are merely errors. Let yourself be healed that you may be forgiving, offering salvation to your brother and yourself.
5 A broken body shows the mind has not been healed. A miracle of healing proves that separation is without effect. What you would prove to him you will believe. The power of witness comes from your belief. And everything you say or do or think but testifies to what you teach to him. Your body can be means to teach that it has never suffered pain because of him. And in its healing can it offer him mute testimony of his innocence. It is this testimony that can speak with power greater than a thousand tongues. For here is his forgiveness proved to him.
6 A miracle can offer nothing less to him than it has given unto you. So does your healing show your mind is healed, and has forgiven what he did not do. And so is he convinced his innocence was never lost, and healed along with you. Thus does the miracle undo all things the world attests can never be undone. And hopelessness and death must disappear before the ancient clarion call of life. This call has power far beyond the weak and miserable cry of death and guilt. The ancient calling of the Father to His Son, and of the Son unto His Own, will yet be the last trumpet that the world will ever hear. Brother, there is no death. And this you learn when you but wish to show your brother that you had no hurt of him. He thinks your blood is on his hands, and so he stands condemned. Yet it is given you to show him, by your healing, that his guilt is but the fabric of a senseless dream.
7 How just are miracles! For they bestow an equal gift of full deliverance from guilt upon your brother and yourself. Your healing saves him pain as well as you, and you are healed because you wished him well. This is the law the miracle obeys; that healing sees no specialness at all. It does not come from pity but from love. And love would prove all suffering is but a vain imagining, a foolish wish with no effects. Your health is a result of your desire to see your brother with no blood upon his hands, nor guilt upon his heart made heavy with the proof of sin. And what you wish is given you to see."
God created you as a perfect being. You are flawless, immortal, immaculate, permanent, constant, unlimited and eternal. You can never change. You can never be changed. God's Will is done and your creation is forever. You are forever held in the mind of God in permanence.
"The Thought God holds of you is like a star, unchangeable in an eternal sky. So high in Heaven is it set that those outside of Heaven know not it is there."
The simple acceptance of your true nature is all that is required in the Atonement. You don't have to make yourself better. You don't have to redesign yourself or redefine yourself. You only need to realize and accept you are already perfect as God created you.
"I am not a body I am free, for I am still as God created me."You cannot change yourself and no-one else can change you. Your self is incapable of change, incapable of learning, and incapable of forgetting. It was absolutely perfect and unlimited the instant it came into being. And you will be forever perfect.
If you have gone away from the perfection, if you have lost sight of it, and find yourself in a dream of suffering, feeling threatened, in danger, concerned for your future, buying into fear and worry that you may not last, or that something can be taken from you, or deceived into being guilty for something you cannot do, you have merely forgotten the facts.
There is nothing you need to do other than own your self. To own up to what you are. To accept your true being. To represent yourself authentically. To simply resume how you have alway been, underneath your dreams of being something you are not, or not yourself. God has already finished the work of perfecting you and your perfection has never changed. You are just in denial of your perfection.
Being lost in the ego, or lost in dreaming, or in fear and suffering, or having sickness or death, is all just part of being out of touch with yourself and imagining that you are not what you are. Dreams of death, dreams of not knowing yourself, dreams of being vulnerable, dreams of suffering and deprivation and lack and limitation, must all be fictional nightmares having simply forgotten your true nature."You are immortal and you cannot die"
God did not create you to be capable of sin, or capable of being sinned against. You have not sinned. You have not attacked. You have not killed or died. None of these thing are possible. Nothing can influence the will of God and it is God's will that you live forever. Not even you can change this fact. You are permanently permanent and there is nothing you can do about it. Nor should you want to.
If you are believing that you are under attack, or susceptible, or weak, or needing defenses, or concerned for your existence, or threatened, or in any way suffering, then you can be sure you are mistaken. You can be sure you do not know yourself. And you can be sure you have been deceived, tempted by illusion and distracted from the truth.
You are perfect now. You have always been perfect. And you will always be perfect. It is God's job to ensure and guarantee your perfection. It is only your job to accept it freely and willingly, knowing it is the only way for you to be true to yourself. To accept your true nature is to accept yourself AS GOD created you, and not what you tried to make of yourself.
If you are in fear you are mistaken. There is nothing to fear for one who is permanently immortal.
"There is no world! This is the central thought the course attempts to teach. Not everyone is ready to accept it, and each one must go as far as he can let himself be led along the road to truth."
"I am not of this world."
"Without the idea of death there is no world."
"There is no world apart from what you wish. ... Today’s idea is true because the world DOES NOT EXIST. And if it is indeed your own imagining, then you can loose it from all things you ever thought it was by merely changing all the thoughts that gave it these appearances."
"How can a world of time and place exist if you remain as God created you?"
"There is no world apart from your ideas because ideas leave not their source, and you maintain the world within your mind in thought."
"Yet if you are as God created you, you cannot think apart from Him, nor make what does not share His timelessness and love. Are these inherent in the world you see? (No) Does it create like Him? (No) Unless it does, it is not real and cannot be at all. If you are real the world you see is false, for God’s creation is unlike the world in every way."
"There is no world because it is a thought apart from God, and made to separate the Father and the Son, and break away a part of God Himself and thus destroy His wholeness. Can a world which comes from this idea be real? Can it be anywhere? "
"He always perceives this world as OUTSIDE himself, for this is crucial to his adjustment. He does not realize that he MAKES this world, for there IS no world outside him."
"My Kingdom is not of this world because it is in you. And you are of your Father. Your Kingdom is not of this world because it was given you from beyond this world.
The world is not left by death but by truth, and the truth can be known by all those for whom the Kingdom was created, and for whom it waits.
If you will accept the fact that I am with you, you are denying the world and accepting God. My will is His, and your decision to hear me is the decision to hear His voice and abide in His Will.
The world can add nothing to the power and the glory of God and His Holy Sons, but it can blind the Sons to the Father if they behold it.
You cannot behold the world and know God. Only one is true. I am come to tell you the choice of which is truth is not yours to make. If it were, you would have destroyed yourself. Yet God did not will the destruction of His creations, having created them for eternity. His Will has saved you, not from yourself but from your illusion of yourself. He has saved you for yourself.
What God did not create does not exist. And everything that does exist exists as He created it.
The world you see has nothing to do with reality. It is of your own making, and it does not exist."
If you are afraid about something, stop for a moment and realize that you are actually scaring yourself.
In between you and the person or situation, there is a mental image in YOUR mind which YOU have shown to yourself.
Initially you think that the person or situation is causing the fear you're experiencing. You think that the "fearful thing" is inside that person or situation, or coming from them. Like they're causing it.
It's not true at all. They are not doing anything to you!
Somewhere along the lines, YOU came to BELIEVE IN FEAR, and YOU put in your awareness a mental image of something scary, and now you're experiencing that visualization simultaneously, projected on top of the people or situations outside of you.
The fear is really you scaring yourself, because YOU believe in and are imagining, visualizing, a scary situation.
When scared you will try to fight with external people or situations as though if you fend them off enough they'll stop scaring you. But notice instead, no matter how much you try to "un-scare" yourself it won't generally work, because YOU are actually still believing in the fear. YOU are still generating the fearful image in your own mind. It's coming from YOU. Changing the person or situation will not undo what YOU are doing to yourself!
You have to realize you're literally doing this to yourself. You are generating this mental image, really just an idea, and are producing fear internally. You're nuts for believing that anyone else is causing it.
Until you can see that it literally is coming from you and has nothing to do with what's out there, and you decide to STOP BELIEVING IN whatever scary thing you were believing in, it will remain.
It's only because you believe in "real attackers" that you are scared. It's only because you believe in "real sin" or "real guilt" or "someone's really going to come and punish or hurt me" that you feel scared. It's not because they ARE, and it's not because they're even involved AT ALL.
It's purely your own belief. You are choosing to perceive fearfully and your fearful perceiving is putting a fearful vision in your mind and you're experiencing it like it's real because YOU are making it REAL.
Seeing this, you see the pointlessness of believing that someone else is actually the cause. Owning up to being the cause, you can finally see that you yourself are scaring yourself, you are the ONLY SOURCE of this fear, and therefore you can simply choose to stop believing in it. Stop believing that you need to be afraid of something "out there". YOU are the one terrorizing yourself.
It also frees you from the MYTH that you have reasons to be afraid that are beyond your control, ie that other people ALSO have the power to "cause you" to be afraid. They don't. There is no power over you other than your own, and there are no causes outside of you at all. So if you'll stop attacking yourself with fear, there won't be ANY other sources of it.
If you can then choose to stop having this belief, upon recognizing that you were the one making the fear, the fear will disappear. Illusions recognized as illusions must disappear. The fear will vanish and you will be restored to safety and confidence.
Your assertiveness will assert that there IS NOT a reason to be afraid, choosing that this is the truth, rather than WAITING for some other person or situation to stop "making you afraid".
I fall for this trap often. It's the basic ego trap of believing fear is reality. It can take a while to admit to myself that I'm the cause of this fear and to see that it is literally coming from my own believing and my own choosing. But then once I see it, I can realize the folly of my own self-attack and simply choose to no longer do this to myself.
Who can scare you if the only one scaring you EVER is yourself, and you decide not to?
What's really driving home for me at the moment is the difference between WHAT I AM, and WHAT I BELIEVE I AM.
In ACIM metaphysics, what you are is a soul or son of God that God created. This self is FIXED, permanently perfect, flawless forever, absolutely immortal, incapable of corruption or sickness, unable to sin or be guilty or afraid, in need of nothing, lacking nothing, always absolutely at peace in love.
That's what you ARE, deep down. And the thing is ... this is always true. It NEVER CHANGES. It cannot be undone, replaced, overwritten, cancelled, deleted, or in any way modified.
So then what does that tell you? Anything that you believe about yourself that says otherwise MUST BE A LIE. And that includes everything we call ego, all sense of neediness, believing you lack or are unworthy, any belief that you are guilty or sinful, any fear, anything at all that is not of God is NOT A PART OF YOU.
It's actually like some other "layer" of junk piled on top trying to cover up and disguise the fact that you are STILL exactly as God created you. All of it must be a total lie, completely false, and it it not actually defining what YOU ARE, it's saying something SEPARATE FROM what you are, disconnected from you, like a camouflage wrapped around you to try to keep your true perfection hidden.
So that means all our issues, all our guilts, all sinfulness and fear, all sickness and definitions of ourselves that we made up, are all LIES that just float around the OUTSIDE of what you are, including the body, and NEVER even touch upon or change or have any influence on your ACTUAL NATURE at all.
Deep down inside you right now this second you are STILL exactly pure and perfect and holy and innocent, guiltless and sinless. SIMULTANEOUS to all the other stuff that you think is true of you. Innocent right now, while believing you are guilty. Perfect right now, while believing you are flawed. Immortal right now, while believing you are dying.
This contrast then shows you that what God has created you AS is ALWAYS TRUE, and it's what YOU ARE. And anything else that says otherwise is not anything to do with what you are, it's just a bunch of lies swirling around.
When the separation from God happened we DID NOT CHANGE AT ALL. All that happened was in our minds... we temporarily BELIEVED that we had changed, and bought into the beliefs so much that we thought they were true. They were all lies, completely fictional, absolutely unfounded.
Literally we're sitting there in heaven floating about being happy and then we PRETEND that we're not. We make up a bunch of stuff about ourselves which STILL isn't true, when OBVIOUSLY our perfect immortal innocent self is sitting right there still shining perfectly and flawlessly. It's just that we bought into these lies and took them to be actually true of us, imagining that we had changed, that we have defiled ourselves, that we have become corrupt end evil. WE HAVE NOT. It's just a psychological mistake.
So even right now this second inside you, you are STILL INNOCENT, there IS NO SIN in you. You have no real guilt. No flaws or defects. No sickness. Nothing lacking. No needs. Nothing to be fixed. Nothing you can do to change yourself. All that's happening is there's a big giant lie swirling around your mind that you're listening to even though it obviously completely contradicts everything about you. And UNDERNEATH these lies you are absolutely unphased, unchanged, unmoved.
Inside you, are you IN HEAVEN, BEING HEAVEN. Right now. The only cleanup work is to remove all the silly fictional stories about yourself that are not true.
"When the "lies of the serpent" were introduced, they were specifically called lies because they are not true. When man listened, all he heard was untruth. He does not have to continue to believe what is not true, unless he chooses to do so. All of his miscreations can disappear in the well known "twinkling of an eye", because it is a visual misperception."
"The changelessness of Heaven is in you, so deep within that nothing in this world but passes by, unnoticed and unseen. The still infinity of endless peace surrounds you gently in its soft embrace, so strong and quiet, tranquil in the might of its Creator, nothing can intrude upon the sacred Son of God within."
From Lesson 132... totally filled with juicy proof that the world is not real or God's creation.
"W-pI.132.4. THE WORLD IS NOTHING IN ITSELF. 2 Your mind must give it meaning. 3 And what you behold upon it are your wishes, acted out so you can look on them and THINK THEM REAL. 4 Perhaps you think you did not make the world, but came unwillingly to what was made already, hardly waiting for your thoughts to give it meaning. 5 Yet in truth you found exactly WHAT YOU LOOKED FOR when you came.
W-pI.132.5. THERE IS NO WORLD APART FROM WHAT YOU WISH, and herein lies your ultimate release. 2 Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly. 3 Ideas leave not their source. 4 This central theme is often stated in the text, and must be borne in mind if you would understand the lesson for today. 5 It is not pride which tells you that YOU MADE THE WORLD you see, and that it changes as you change your mind.
W-pI.132.6. But it is pride that argues you have come into a world quite separate from yourself (made by God?!), impervious to what you think, and quite apart from what you chance to think it is. 2 THERE IS NO WORLD! 3 This is the central thought the course attempts to teach. 4 ****Not everyone is ready to accept it****, and each one must go as far as he can let himself be led along the road to truth. 5 He will return and go still farther, or perhaps step back a while and then return again.
W-pI.132.7. But healing is the gift of those who are prepared to learn THERE IS NO WORLD, and can accept the lesson now. 2 Their readiness will bring the lesson to them in some form which they can understand and recognize. 3 Some see it suddenly on point of death, and rise to teach it. 4 Others find it in EXPERIENCE THAT IS NOT OF THIS WORLD, which shows them that THE WORLD DOES NOT EXIST because what they behold must be the truth, and yet it clearly CONTRADICTS THE WORLD.
W-pI.132.8. And some will find it in this course, and in the exercises that we do today. 2 Today's idea is true because THE WORLD DOES NOT EXIST. 3 And if it is indeed YOUR OWN IMAGINING, then you can loose it from all things you ever thought it was by merely changing all the thoughts that gave it these appearances. 4 The sick are healed as you let go all thoughts of sickness, and the dead arise when you let thoughts of life replace all thoughts you ever held of death.
"HOW CAN A WORLD OF TIME AND PLACE EXIST, if you remain as God created you?"
"THERE IS NO WORLD APART FROM YOUR IDEAS because ideas leave not their source, and YOU MAINTAIN THE WORLD WITHIN YOUR MIND IN THOUGHT."
"Yet if you are as God created you, you cannot think apart from Him, NOR MAKE what does NOT share His timelessness and Love. 2 Are these inherent in the world you see? 3 Does it create like Him? 4 Unless it does, IT IS NOT REAL, and cannot be at all."
"IF YOU ARE REAL THE WORLD YOU SEE IS FALSE, for God's creation is UNLIKE THE WORLD IN EVERY WAY."
"THERE IS NO WORLD because it is a thought APART FROM GOD, and MADE TO SEPARATE the Father and the Son, and break away a part of God Himself and thus DESTROY His Wholeness. 2 Can a world which comes from this idea be real? 3 Can it be anywhere? 4 Deny illusions, but accept the truth."
"Today our purpose is to free the world from all the idle thoughts we ever held about it, and about all living things we see upon it. 2 THEY CAN NOT BE THERE. 3 NO MORE CAN WE. 4 For we are in THE HOME OUR FATHER SET FOR US (Heaven), along with them."
"For I am real BECAUSE THE WORLD IS NOT, and I would know my own reality."
"What if you looked within and saw NO sin?"
"Let me remember that there is no sin."
"There is no sin."
"There is no sin. Creation is unchanged."
"Before a holy relationship there is no sin."
I asked God, "please forgive me". HS responded, "for what?" Again I remembered, there is no sin. Does this mean God has completely forgiven me? That He sees absolutely no sin in me? If this is true it must mean I have never sinned. I have no reason to be guilty. There is no reason to fear punishment. I've literally never done anything wrong. Nothing is being held against me.
So if there is anything in me which suggests that this is not true, that something in me must be a belief. And it must be me own belief, and a false one at that. I must be falsely believing that I have done something that I have not really done. Therefore I must be very mistaken in believing this. If I think it is true that I'm a sinner, who has done terrible things and is unforgivable, unworthy, guilty, it must be a mistaken belief.
If only the truth is true, that there is absolutely no such thing as real sin, then it is literally impossible that I have ever sinned. Anything which seems to have occurred must be a mere nightmarish dream, an imagining, a fantasy, an attempt to hallucinate, to try to prove the truth isn't true. And in this fantasizing I must be lying, I must be making stuff up, and I must be trying to believe in it to try to give it reality. But it is never true. It is just denial. I am very mistaken to believe that I am even slightly sinful at all.
In God's eyes, in terms of the Atonement, there is a recognition that sin does not exist. There is no sin in God, there is no sin in me, there is no sin in my brothers, and there is no sin in the world. There is no sin anywhere! The idea that the world is a cause of anything, or that the body is a cause of anything, is the belief that the world and the body are sinful. That they can, have, are, and will be doing something through attack. They can't be real, or exist, because if they were to do so they would be really sinful.
There is a simple truth deep in my mind. There is no sin. There is no consequence of sin. There are no effects of sin. There is only perfect innocence, holiness, purity and divinity. True sinlessness. A state of no blame, no accusation, no condemnation, no harsh judgement, no finger pointing, no scapegoating, no victimization, just the complete absence of sin.
Sin is the big lie at the root of the ego thought system. It is the belief that you can sin, at all. Which means the belief that you can cause effects in something real, that you can affect God, that you can be God, that you can have power over God or your brothers, that you can do something to cause real consequences which are permanent and irreversible. Sin is the authority problem, it is the belief in magic, it is level confusion, it is false perception.
And the secret behind the entire ego construct, the whole world the ego made, is that sin does not exist. It never did happen. No-one ever changed God's will. Nothing real was ever threatened. Nothing truly living ever suffers or dies. Literally, sin is impossible. You can't sin even if you wanted to. All you can do is imagine it, dream it, and pretend it is real. And in doing so, you can only be mistaken. It's simply not true. You are immortal. You are real. You are permanently innocent. God did not create sinners and you have no power to turn yourself into one.
If you think you're sinful right now, or guilty, or have reason to fear punishment for what you did, or should suffer with sickness and death, YOU ARE MISTAKEN. Choose again.
"Loudly the ego tells you not to look inward, for if you do, your eyes will light on sin, and God will strike you blind. This you believe, and so you do not look. Yet this is not the ego's hidden fear, nor yours who serve it. Loudly indeed the ego claims it is. TOO loudly and TOO often. For underneath this constant shout and frantic proclamation, the ego is not certain it is so. Beneath your fear to look within because of sin, is yet another fear, and one which makes the ego tremble. What if you looked within, and saw NO sin? This "fearful" question is one the ego NEVER asks. And you who ask it now are "threatening" the ego's whole defensive system too seriously for it to bother to pretend it is your friend."