Fear is like this little box inside of which there is fear, and the fear keeps trying to get out.

It wants to get out and point fingers at all kinds of things outside of the box, so that it can explain why the fear exists.

If you let it, fear will project outside of the box and you'll believe the fear in the box is put there by things outside of it.

But fear never leaves the box.

And everything fear says and does inside the box, stays in the box (stays in Vegas? lol)

If you can look at the fear and not at what the fear is pointing to, and not at what it is insinuating is the cause of it outside the box, and instead realize the presence of the fear ITSELF is the problem, then you're on your way.

The fear itself is the problem because it's ACTIVELY attempting to attack your invulnerability, destroy your innocence, threaten your immortality and stop you from realizing something very important...

There is no fear outside the box. There is no cause for fear outside the box.

Outside the box, everything is perfectly alright. Everything is God. Everything is safe. Everything is lovely. There's no fear there.

This is what the fear does not want you to see, and it is a defense against seeing this by telling lies about what's outside the box.

It's kind of like this nasty little shitty little liar that tells nothing but lies and it really can't be believed. You have to realize not to listen to it at all because it's entirely false.

Don't buy into the projections that try to justify it, those are NOT the problem. All the 'causes' of the fear, that is NOT the problem.

The problem is merely the presence of the fear itself which acts as a reality filter and tries to destroy what would otherwise be a perfectly excellent situation. A Holy Instant.

Once you recognize fear as a dirty rotten liar that tells no truth and which is always confined to its box, and you don't allow it to project or listen to the projections, then something should occur to you...

There is no OTHER reason outside the box to be afraid, and if the fear is kept in the box and then REMOVED entirely, the situation you're in is actually really really really good. Things are working out. Everything's flowing. God is loving. Everyone is ok. You're totally safe. That's the truth fear tries to mess with.

So then your mind can take a little leap and realize, hey, this fear isn't telling me what's right, it's lying to me, and the situation ISN'T terrible, and people AREN'T threatened, and I AM safe and loved. And in that realization you can now confidently march forward, access the power of God, walk in confidence and reassurance, and wield miracles.

"Salvation is the recognition that the truth is true and nothing else is true. "

DENIAL

The truth is true.

You do not want the truth.

You have denied the truth.

You use denial to make the truth seem like it's not true.

You think that what you denied is made false by the denial.

You don't want it to be true.

You want something else to be true.

You believe something else is true, so that the truth is not true.

If you want the truth, you will have to stop being in denial.

You do not want to look at what you have denied.

Denying the truth keeps it away from you.

Denying the truth stops it being true.

You think that what you denied is not the truth.

You think your denial is justified because the truth is not true.

You do not want what is not true.

You think your truth is the only truth.

You think your denial is a fact, and not an opinion.

ACCEPTANCE/FORGIVENESS

You will have to be willing to question what you think is true.

What you think is true is not true.

Your truth that you treasure is a lie.

You haven't recognised how it is lying.

You haven't realised why it's not true.

You've convinced yourself that something false is true.

You will have to be willing to consider you are mistaken.

You will have to look at what you've denied.

You don't want to look at it because you think it's your enemy.

You don't want to give your enemy any credit.

But the truth only seems false because you keep denying it.

You will have to become willing to reconsider what the truth is.

You will have to forgive it and give it more credit.

You will have to become able to see and recognize its truth.

You will have to be willing to let go of what you thought was true.

You will have to change what you want.

You will have to want the truth to be true, to stop denying it.

You will have to side with it, against what is false.

Thus your whole thought system will have to undergo a complete reversal.

What you once thought was your enemy becomes your friend.

What you once thought was untrue becomes the truth.

What you once thought was true becomes a lie.

You recognize that only the truth is true, and only the false is false.

You have accepted atonement.

Wishful thinking. ... really a form of denial, wanting things to be other than how they are right now. Isn't that the same thing as attacking and judging?

Saying ... hey, I don't like how you are right now, you shouldn't be this way, you should be some other way. I can't accept you like this. How you are is wrong, so you are sinful and guilty, because you're now how I want you to be.

Wishing that things were different, is a lack of acceptance. An unwillingness to face how things actually are right now. It doesn't mean you have to put up with it or not make changes still, it just means at least being willing to look and see and accept how it is now.

Wishful thinking is also a form of resistance, which is a form of fear. It's also a form of dishonesty. It's not wanting to admit to the apparent truth of the situation or accept the facts. This again doesn't mean you have you see yourself as hemmed in by the "physical truth", but having an issue with "how it is" is an attempt to lie about it.

Wishing that things were not how they are, doesn't change anything. It's a form of complaint and victimhood. It's you having a temper tantrum believing that you can skew things towards how you would prefer them. But preferences are another form of denial.

To wish that things were different, without willing and causing them to be different, is a form of unwillingness. A desire to reject what has apparently been willed, to demand and require it be willed differently, but not actually doing anything constructive to will it yourself.

And so wishing is dreaming, and faking, and lying, and deceiving, and denying, and not accepting, and attacking, and judging, and being dishonest, and avoiding reality. It was wishing for something other than God that got us into this mess in the first place.

"The world is nothing in itself. Your mind must give it meaning. And what you behold upon it are your wishes, acted out so you can look on them and think them real."

"We have already said that wishful thinking is how the ego deals with what it wants, to make it so."

"We once said that to will contrary to God is wishful thinking, and not real willing."

"You CAN wish for the impossible, but you can only WILL with God. This is the ego's weakness and YOUR strength."

"Now is vengeance all there is to wish for."

"But the WISH for other experience will block this, because God's Will CANNOT be forced upon you, being an experience of total WILLINGNESS."

"The Son of God could NEVER sin, but he CAN wish for what would hurt him. And he HAS the power to think he CAN BE hurt. What could this be EXCEPT a misperception of himself?"

"It is not Will for Life, but wish for death, that is the motivation for this world."

"The tiniest of dreams, the smallest wish for values of the world is large enough to stand between you and the sweet release that God would offer you." "It is in the special relationship, born of the hidden wish for special love from God, that the ego's hatred triumphs."

"To wish for guilt in ANY way, in ANY form, will lose appreciation of the value of your guiltlessness, and push it from your sight."

I remind myself of heaven's nature. I remind myself that in reality nothing has ever gone wrong. Nothing God created has ever changed. Reality cannot be affected. Nothing real can be hurt. There is no sickness or suffering or pain or death. Nothing ever breaks or malfunctions or decays or fails. Everything is absolutely perfect at all times and nothing can prevail against the Kingdom.

Then I take a look at the alternative suggestion. The notion that EVERYTHING has gone wrong. That everything breaks, dies, fails, malfunctions, distorts, decays, suffers and is corrupt. The world we made, the hell we made, space and time, with its laws of sin and rules of destruction.

Then I compare the two, and I ask myself, how can it be possible that they are both true? They cannot be. I attempt to reconcile them together as if they could exist at the same time, but one cancels out the other. They cannot both be true. They are so opposite that they are completely incompatible. Only one of them can be true.

If heaven is true and real and if I put my faith in that, then what is this suggestion that everything has gone wrong? What is that made of? How is it claiming that there's been sin? What is this feeling of disaster and guilt and things turning sour and doom and gloom? How can this experience of suffering and despair be true?

I go back and forth comparing the two options and it should become clearer and clearer that only God's truth is true. Nothing real has ever been threatened. Nothing real can be attacked. There cannot be a sin. There cannot be failure and death. So what IS this other suggestion, that everything has gone wrong? It must surely in fact be a LIE!

At first this seems surprising and shocking. Because all along we have been believing it and thinking it is the truth. We bought into it and valued it and held it as sacredly real. And now when comparing the world to another world we suddenly find out the whole idea of destruction is false. We suddenly discover that all of these notions of sin and attack and death cannot be true. What ARE they if they are not true? What IS this idea of things going wrong?

It has to be a total lie. It has to in fact be completely false. It is not what you thought it was. You were deceived. The very thing which you thought was completely true all this time turns out to be completely false. The ego has been lying to you this whole time.

There never was anything that went wrong in reality. Nothing in heaven has been changed. What a crock of bullshit this lie of sin is. What a bunch of crap that suggests anything has EVER gone wrong to disturb the perfection of God?

This may seem horrifying at first to realize, the cherished treasure of insane separation has been entirely UNFOUNDED this whole time. The whole notion of sin has been totally made-up and unjustified. The total assumption you had your whole life that failure was natural and destruction was commonplace and death was normal is upended at its root.

The whole system is totally NOT WHAT IT CLAIMS. And now you see through the illusion and can no longer buy it. Because no-one can believe something that is obviously impossible.

One thing that’s really becoming super clear for me lately, is that this world depicts things which are absolutely impossible. It’s enough of an idea that its a dream, which sometimes suggests it’s at least a something, that the stuff happening in it is somehow actually possible. But when you think about it and reason it out, this world shows things happening which CANNOT be happening. It depicts the IMPOSSIBLE.

For example in reality, I’m truth, we are immortal and can never die. But here you have a world, which depicts that things can die. It’s hard to find words to describe just how extremely impossible that is. Or to describe what the nature of this world IS - some kind of a fiction, a lie perhaps. An untruth. It represents something that absolutely can never happen in reality, is completely and utterly false, and is nothing like heaven.

How is it possible, even, that we are confronted with what appears to be a world, which shows impossible things happening, which testifies that sin is real, which presents death as if its natural, and shows suffering as commonplace. None of that is POSSIBLE in reality. In God’s Kingdom there is not even a possibility of suffering, or sickness, or sin, or death. It’s not even POSSIBLE.

So this world is showing us stuff which is TOTALLY, TOTALLY false. I don’t know if I can even put into words how utterly opposite to true this must be. How is it even possible that we’re even seeming to have an experience of a world in which impossible things seem to happen? What kind of a sick, twisted joke is this? It’s so "wrong".

Nothing real can be threatened because reality is permanent and constant and endless. You cannot attack anything real in any way because it is immortal. And yet the world constantly depicts attack, damage, harm, injury, suffering, vulnerability, unsafety and destruction. These depictions CANNOT BE REAL. They are SUCH A LIE. Incredibly, absolutely false. What is immortal can never die. It is death itself that MUST be impossible.

It cannot both be true that heaven is immortal and real, and earth is mortal and real. Eternal life cannot have an opposite. Love is all encompassing and has no opposite. Reality is permanent and has no opposite. You can’t have it be that immortality is true and death is also true. It HAS to be one or the other. And if death is not true, then death is UTTER BULLSHIT. And every single shred of this illusion of a world of death MUST be a COMPLETE LIE. It is A FALSE WORLD. It is not God’s creation and is nothing like it.

How can you believe such a world when it is lying to your face? How can you believe it even EXISTS?

"It is the world you see that is impossible."

To ego, "having a self" seems to be what it's all about. This suggestion that ego is a "self you made" or some kind of a thing.

But this is actually completely backwards.

The ego is actually the idea of the END OF YOURSELF. It is a DENIAL OF SELF. It is an attempt to DISOWN YOURSELF.

What then "looks like" the formation of a fake self, a lying self, a self built from imaginary images, is in fact the opposite of what that illusion suggests.

It's not that the "ego exists" and you have to undo it, thus throwing out all "individuality" along with it.

The ego IS NOT INDIVIDUALITY. The ego is the END OF INDIVIDUALITY, masquerading as the illusion of "self" being created. This is because the Son of God is dreaming that He created Himself, which requires the SUPPRESSION of HIS SELF using denial.

So the ego is not a self. The ego is the ANTITHESIS of self. The ego is ISOLATION away from Self. The ego is the collapsing of identity, the undoing of what God created, and the attempted DESTRUCTION of Self.

So for anyone to say, well, if you wake up from the ego you will no longer have a self... they have not seen through the ego's lie. Waking up means you REGAIN YOURSELF, you RETURN TO YOUR REAL SELF, you RECLAIM your individuality, you RESTORE AWARENESS that you have always existed. The only thing that "ends" is the fiction that you do NOT exist as God created you.

So don't buy this EGO IDEA that waking up or returning to oneness will make "you" cease to exist. That is the EGO TALKING. *IT* will cease to exist, in the sense that, it always was the idea of not existing, and the idea of NOT EXISTING will end, to be replaced with the awareness that YOU DO EXIST.

So this fictional fuck-off idea of "you have no self", masquerading as spirituality, masquerading as nonduality or acceptance of oneness. It is UTTER BULLSHIT. It is an ego-driven lie.

You are NOT going to end when you wake up. YOU are going to WAKE UP to HAVING A SELF. A self which is driven by love, designed by love, and filled with love. A self which wants to SHARE AND EXTEND ITSELF, in order to exist. A self which is REAL and is PART of GOD.

You, who God created, as permanent, to exist forever, as one of His many sons, as part of his sonship, will ALWAYS EXIST, have always existed, and ALREADY HAVE ETERNAL LIFE.

All this other "you'll stop existing" bullshit is EGO FEAR and a device to turn you away from God and deny His creation. That is not spirituality, it is a lie. Getting rid of yourself is suicide and sacrifice!

God created you. God loves you.

There are various ways that you do this. Every one of them is a form of denial, is an illusion, and is not true at all.

You can do it by attempting to demonstrate that you can be attacked. You do this by trying to attack yourself or your body, bringing about states of "sickness" which symbolize separation or which try to show that you are not immortal in some way.

You also do it be projecting ownership of everything onto someone not yourself, giving away all of your power, being irresponsible, being two-faced, lying, hating, attacking others to prove that attack has real effects, or by trying to make out that you are someone other than yourself.

You also do it by inventing an illusion of death, which tries to demonstrate that what you are can be destroyed. It cannot, but you try anyway. And when you try, even if you seem to destroy the body, it still does not destroy who you are because you cannot stop being immortal spirit.

Nothing you can do can change what God has created to last forever. He sustains your immortal spirit in an eternal, timeless act of extension. Everything that you are, is an expression of what He is - everlasting love. Your Life is your immortality. Life sustains you indefinitely and without limit. You are in a constant state of perfect health and cannot be harmed or changed or influenced in any way whatsoever.

But you still try to. This entire world and all of the bodies in it and all of the events and sicknesses, disease, war, suffering, conflict, it is all an attempt to prove that it is possible to be other than God created you. It's an attempt to prove you can die, you can suffer, you can be upset, you can be limited, you can fail to perform miracles, you can be at the effect of the will of another, you can be victimized, you can fail to have any ability whatsoever to influence the environment, and that you have no power over anything.

You've done a great job of being upset, and believing that you are upset for a good reason, that it is justified, and that you should be unhappy. The reason you are unhappy is unjustified. You've also done a great job of creating reasons and justifications for why you are unhappy, none of which are valid. You've also created a long list of grievances which all seem unresolved, because you think that they actually are important, not to mention all the important things that you think you have to do today, none of which matter.

You are immortal spirit. You are already complete. You are already as God created you. There is nothing you can add to what God created. There is nothing that has been taken away. You've already received what God has given, and it has been full and abundant and total. You are lacking nothing. There is no lack of love in you. God has not changed his mind about you. And you are still as God created you. You're done! So what the fuck is all this other bullshit? lol

"Temptation has one lesson it would teach, in all its forms, wherever it occurs. It would persuade the holy Son of God he is a body, born in what must die, unable to escape its frailty, and bound by what it orders him to feel. It sets the limits on what he can do; its power is the only strength he has; his grasp cannot exceed its tiny reach. Would you BE this, if Christ appeared to you in all His glory, asking you but this, "Choose once again if you would take your place among the Saviors of the world, or would remain in hell, and hold your brothers there." For He HAS come, and He IS asking this."

Temptation is quite a big thing. The entire world was made as a temptation. There is an ACIM quote that says exactly that but I couldn't find it. What does it tempt you to do or believe? In and of itself it is nothing but it has the "potential", if you are not vigilant for reality, to seemingly coerce you into believing that something is true that is not. That something is real or happening that is not.

This was the purpose of the world you made. It was designed not only to shut God out but to also tempt you, taunt you, suggest to you, and to try to convince you, that some things are true and real which are not. In your "susceptibility" to temptation you fall for these illusions, these tricks, these deceptions, and believe in them. Only by not believing in them are you able to overlook the temptation and not be caught in it, which is forgiveness. To forgive is to overlook temptation.

So often we are tempted to believe something based merely on its seeming presence in the world. Someone's body seems sick. Something bad seemed to happen. Something went wrong. Whatever it is, it's a temptation. You are being tempted by "the ego" to believe lies and illusions. Your body's sense are stimulated by these sources of temptation all the time. Sights, sounds, smells, tastes, tactile inputs, all designed to suggest to you "something is there", "something is real", "something is happening".

When you ARE being tempted and have fallen for it, and you are in this heavily tempted ego unconscious state where you are just on autopilot believing the world is real, there isn't a significant seeming contrast between what's happening and reality. But as you start to step back from illusions and question the world's bullshit, a growing contrast arises between what appears in front of your face, and what is true.

And then you'll start to feel challenged or caught between.... do I believe what my senses are telling me and buy into the disaster and believe the sickness and go along with the magic and fall for the fear-inducing hell, or do I circumvent all of that, disbelieve it, seek the Holy Spirit and try to find a way to forgive and undo and perform a miracle, which completely flies in the face of the entire planet, goes against the grain, seems totally contradictory and seems almost crazy to even contemplate? Do you put your trust in a truth which is unseen and a possibility that the entire world testifies is impossible? And this then is all to do with overcoming an order of difficulty in miracles.

You are tempted to believe that the world is filled with difficulty, of all different levels, and that it's even difficult to change or correct even a tiny thing, yet alone a big thing. This has to be disbelieved. Not fallen for. Cancelled. The whole world is a lie. How will you stand in the face of a lie and not believe it, when the whole world is screaming for you to believe it? To know better. To recognize the world is an illusion, unreal, untrue, false, completely bullshit. While you're in it. Immersed in the lying. Immersed in the stimulation and temptation.

"Teachers of God choose to look upon dreams a while..... they are not deceived by what they see."

Here's your secret. It's a bigger secret than that you tried to kill God's son. And it's a bigger secret than that you attacked God and still want to be separate.

The biggest secret of all, is that you are actually already Christ.

Christ is your true identity. It's who you are.

Now, let's talk about the secret. See, you are trying to disguise who you are. You're trying not to admit who you are. You're trying to deny it and cover it up and pretend you are someone else. Just as you are trying to deny that God loves you, you're denying that you ARE as God created you.

So, here's a useful forgiveness practice. How about we call this... OWNING UP TO WHO YOU ARE. This contains elements of 'taking full responsibility', but also essentially ties it all together in one simple package.

How about you admit to your real identity, and how about you admit to what the truth is about you? How about you come clean and own up to being Christ and to being completely innocent? How about you drop all the pretense that you are someone or something else, or that you have need for all of your pain and misery and problems... which are ALL just cover-ups. Right?

Every single problem in your life, every upset, every unworthiness, every bad experience, every false identity, and every attack you've ever been through, is all part of you denying who you really are. Let's be honest now. Let's own up to who we really are.

I am willing to admit I am Christ.

I am willing to admit that I am not really [your ego name] and in fact I'm God's holy son. Actually it's true that I'm innocent and holy and forgiven completely and have never done anything wrong.

I admit that I am God's child and cannot sin. I have my hands in the air and I CONFESS, I am absolutely immortal spirit and I have never been able to die and I never will die. And I also admit that I am not the little ego self that I keep trying to convince everyone of, including myself, that I am. I am not this separate self I am One.

I admit that I made up this entire illusion to cover up my identity and that I've been in disguise and undercover this whole time, trying to make out that I am some kind of unworthy unlovable nothing, so that nobody will notice what my real identity is. I admit that I have always known who I really am and I've always been Christ.

You're right, I've been pretending this whole time that I'm not with God and that I don't belong with God. It's not true. I've been bluffing this entire time, all these lifetimes, pretending not to be Christ. I've portrayed myself as all kinds of pretend bodies and people and identities to perpetrate a huge conspiracy that I'm someone else and that God' Son no longer exists.

I've been 'undercover boss' this whole time, hiding in the shadows and lurking and not owning up to my power and not claiming my true identity. I admit it, I'm actually God's creation and God has created me permanent and real and I am not any of the illusions that I've been saying I am.

My cover is blown and you caught me out, I'm really ultimately guiltless and sinless and I haven't even separated from God. My whole life story is just a big distraction to get everyone to believe that something happened to me and that I didn't want anything to do with it. I orchestrated the whole thing. I made it all up myself and fooled you all, and even tried to fool myself. I've been in disguise, concealed behind layers of denial and pretend forgetfulness.

Yup. I'm Christ. I confess. I own up to it. It's who and what I am. I am immortal spirit and I always was and nothing has happened to change anything about me. Of course God loves me, He has this whole time, I was just lying when I said He didn't. The lid is off, the cat is out of the bag.

Like, hellllooooooooooo. I'm Christ, ok. ... you got me.

In order to uncover a blocked awareness, we need to be willing to admit to the truth. And that means being willing to admit that we are NOT doing what we are claiming to be doing, we DO want the suffering we are experiencing, and we ARE actively forcing ourselves to be victims.

There is a very simple law at work. And it is this: You are completely free. Which means that whatever you are experiencing, YOU MUST WANT IT. There are no exceptions to this. And this is very difficult to fully and deeply look at, yet alone to accept. Yet it is the secret of salvation.

Half the time we might be saying things like, I really want to be with God, I want to love everyone, I love my kids, I believe in healing and health, I don't believe I'm guilty, etc... BUT, at the same time, EXPERIENCING the exact opposite.

This is the ego talking. The ego is VERY good at lies. It's very good at disguises. It's very good at talking out of both sides of its mouth and being two faced. Generally speaking, the ego is the idea of dishonesty. And in dishonest states, you are quite capable of saying or even believing things that you do not REALLY believe deep down, and do not believe fully.

When you take a look at the evidence, either you ARE ACTUALLY EXPERIENCING what you say you believe is real, or you are lying to yourself. You can wrap up all kinds of lovely statements in what seem to be well-meaning fervent desires for something, but this doesn't mean you are CHOOSING TO DO these things.

For example, someone who sees themselves as being unfairly treated or victimized, will complain a lot. They will make a whole lot of noise about how much they DO NOT WANT what is happening. But all of this noise is utter bullshit. What's happening is the person HAS chosen to suffer, WANTS to keep suffering, does NOT want to actually take the steps of healing that would UNDO it, and so is literally STUCK in a state that they CLAIM to want to get out of, but which they are not ACTUALLY getting out of.

Instead, the ego victim tries to point fingers at all the reasons and powers other than themselves, that are keeping them bound to hell and upset. Waiting for someone else to bail them out. Waiting for someone to save them. Waiting for someone to change on their behalf. Or even waiting for someone to do something to them to make a difference. This is all an UNWILLINGNESS to ACTUALLY look within and undo the ACTUAL belief in sin that is lurking in the background, causing the suffering.

You have it in your power to undo all forms of suffering if you so choose, because you have free will. Your free will means you can NEVER get away with finding ANY excuse for why you are in the situation you are in. NOR that you can find any excuse for why you cannot get out of it, or why getting out of it depends on ANYTHING. Not on another person, not on the body, not on forces of nature, not on money or circumstances, nothing.

There is NOTHING STOPPING YOU FROM CHOOSING HEAVEN. No-one is holding you in hell but yourself. This is the secret of salvation. If you would simply ACTUALLY go ahead and CLEARLY, CONCISELY, CONFIDENTLY COMMIT to a more healed state of mind, your mind would be healed instantly. Nothing can stop you but yourself. All the beliefs we have about WHY we can't, are made up lies.

"If you wish ONLY to be healed, you heal. Your single PURPOSE makes this possible."

Jesus states clearly in the course that your completely clear single-minded decision to heal causes you to heal. Because in this unwavering commitment to ONE OUTCOME, your will is completely unopposed BY ITSELF, and therefore does not thwart its own efforts to CHOOSE. The power of decision is your own, enabling you to DISTINCTLY CHOOSE what you WILL. Whatever happens you have asked for, and whatever you do not want does not happen. This is why you are ruler of the universe.

So if we're in a state where we're complaining about the state we're in, or we feel stuck in it, or can't get out of it, or are claiming to have the best intentions, or would do something "IF" a dependency on something else is fulfilled, we are really not being completely honest. We are not admitting to how we ourselves are holding ourselves in hell by NOT undoing the ACTUAL problem.

If the real problem is a belief in sin, we need to stop believing in sin. This will take care of ALL problems. But if we do not WANT to undo the sin, we will remain in guilt and suffering, complaining about why the suffering is unfair and making tremendous steam about just how much we "really want" to get out of it. Or to be rescued. But we have to stop and get really honest. If we are STILL suffering, we MUST NOT WANT TO STOP IT. Even if we are screaming at the top of our lungs "I want this to stop". Saying so is not taking constructive action steps to DO IT.

This deeper desire is the choice to continue suffering, and this choice is the deeper problem. It's what's blocking awareness. We have to be willing to ADMIT that we HAVE CHOSEN to suffer, and become willing to CHOOSE AGAIN, a better way, which means being willing to actually address and undo the "real cause" of the problem in our mind.

All of our positive-sounded well-meaning wishful-thinking pleasantries about how much we want the truth and love and light and God, do not actually take us closer to God. They take us away from God because they are forms of denial covering up desires NOT to be with God. Either we will choose to be with God or not to be. But when we're choosing not to be, and claiming that we want to be, we must be lying. We can't have it both ways.

Looking within to the honest facts of what we are ACTUALLY DOING, and admitting that if we are not with God it MUST be because we want some kind of sinful suffering, this opens up the doorways, lifts away the denial, removes the illusions of peace, and allows us to shed real light of truth on the situation. Then we can SEE, that in fact we have a grievance, or an unhealed wound, or a secret sin or hidden hate. And this hidden stuff's REMOVAL is what will actually brings us closer WITHIN to awareness of God's presence.

Going through the dark shit is unfortunately a lot harder and requires a lot more radical honesty than the fluffy externalized "happy seeker" route of rainbows and nice-sounding fluff. We DID choose to reject God. We did actually push away our inheritance. As Jesus states in ACIM, "the separation HAS occurred." We have to admit that we're STILL choosing it, if we are not GETTING the result of reunion with God.

We did seem to WANT to suffer. We DID make a mistaken decision by choosing that, and we need to choose again if we want peace. That means looking at what we ACTUALLY DO BELIEVE, and not at what we THINK we believe. And these dark beliefs can then be brought into the light and released.

"I must have decided wrongly because I am NOT at peace. (meaning, I literally CHOSE TO SUFFER, and I have to admit I have chosen that, in order to recognize that I need to choose again)

I made the decision myself (no one else made me suffer, I did), but I can also decide otherwise. (meaning I have the power to CHOOSE NOT TO SUFFER, and to force this to happen).

I WILL to decide otherwise, because I WANT to be at peace. (I want to stop suffering and by WILLING NOT TO SUFFER, the suffering stops - if I'm doing so honestly and fully)

I do NOT feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo ALL the consequences of my wrong decision IF I WILL LET HIM. (I am not GUILTY for making a wrong decision, I am just mistaken and need correction of the ACTUAL problem, which is a belief in the desire to suffer)

I WILL to let Him by allowing Him to decide for God for me." (I receive healing help from the Holy Spirit and open up to His Light of Truth to shine into my mind and illuminate it, so that I can ACTUALLY experience what I've been saying I want.)