"Nothing so blinding as sight of form" - ACIM

Forms, forms, forms, forms. Objects, stuff. Choices, options. Things.

It's incredible how it is possible for a slight change in the form of something seems to give us enough reason to believe that it is 'different' and 'unique', that we accept it as though it is completely new.

The ego world has a huge wealth of scope for including countless variations of forms. All of these forms present the same ILLUSION, that the 'form' something takes determines what it IS.

The truth is, that a different form is actually an illusion designed to make you believe that there are a) many problems, b) a great amount of isolation, c) things which don't apply to other things, d) value in different forms, and many other side effects, all of which support and sustain the ego thought system.

The deception that different forms really ARE different, is the ego's main play in this world. There really is no difference between, e.g. a chair with a curved back and shiny chrome legs and a certain shape of seat, versus almost the exact same chair in a slightly different color with a slightly less rounded seat. I mean... its enough for us gullible fools to believe, oh yes, look, there are DIFFERENT ONES.

And then you go about choosing between these subtle differences as though they are really, really important. I will choose the red one with the slopey back, instead of the orange one with the slightly more squared-off seat. Success!

We have a gross paralysis in life because of this. There are thousands of tv channels with nothing to watch. There are millions of products to buy and none of them are fulfilling.

After a while of seeing this, of seeing THROUGH this illusion, life starts to look a lot less deceiving, and at the time, you could say somewhat more boring. You start to realize what the Course says, "this world holds nothing that I want".

It's really all to do with searching outside of ourselves, to replace the emptiness that we have inside, due to unawareness of God/Self.

When we want God, we want God more than we want the world. And then we can recognize that all 'forms' (which the Course refers to btw as FORMS OF ERROR because all form comes from separation), are really the SAME ILLUSION, presented in a different variation. It's like, learning that all objects with 4 wheels are 'cars', and no longer believing that there are many distinct separate objects in the parking lot. It's a matter of abstraction.

We are immortal beings. But we keep trying to prove that we're not.That's what all the activities of the world are about. All the sickness and suffering. All the death. All the guilt and fear. It's all people trying to disprove their immortality.

Being immortal you cannot be attacked, upset, unhappy, sick, dead, suffer in any way. You can't be guilty or afraid.

We came to this world attempting to die. Except that we can't. So how did we try to pull it off? We invented bodies, fake identities, which we pretend to be. And then we attack them and make them suffer, to try to prove it is we who are suffering. And to do that we identify with them and forget who we are.

The question is, why do we keep doing this? Why do we keep trying to make bad things happen? Why do we keep inflicting suffeirng on ourselves? Why do we keep choosing sickness and pain? Why do we keep trying to destroy ourselves?

It's a bit insane in and of itself, but even moreso when you realize that it really cannot work. What is immortal cannot be attacked or die. So... the whole exercise is futile and cannot work. You'd have to be in denial to think it could.

That's the main problem. We're in denial because we are DENYING that we are immortal. And we keep pretending that we're not alive forever.We might then think that we are struggling against attack, against externally inflicted suffering, against contracting sickness from the environment, against other people.... but all of that is a decoy and not the cause of any of it. It's us trying to prove we can die.

"Swear not to die, you holy son of God"

"You are immortal and you cannot die"

How can an immortal being even seem to die, given they cannot? They have to themselves fake their own death. They have to pretend to suffer. They have to make bad things seem to happen to try to justify it. But all of it's just a lie, a performance, a cover-up.

When you just accept the sanity that you are already immortal and perfect and there is no point to the world, you'll wake up to the eternal life God gave you and which you can never lose.

"They die till you accept your own Eternal Life."

"IT witnesses to the eternal truth that you can not BE hurt,"

"Sin "proves" God's Son is evil; timelessness must have an end; Eternal life must die."

"Sickness is an attempt to prove you can be hurt."

Real innocence is invulnerable. It is strong. It needs no defense. It cannot be attacked. It has immortality. It is pure. Sinless. Guiltless. Fearless. It is powerful. Truthful. Honest. Nothing happens to true innocence against its will. True innocence can work miracles. It is love and peace and has no enemies.

The ego's version of innocence is vulnerable. It is weak. It needs constant defense. It is deceptive. It is a lie. It lays the groundwork for finding others to be the one who sinned. When someone attacks this "set up" of vulnerability, it is the perfect trap to facilitate justified anger. It makes us victims, open to attack and unable to defend ourselves from death.

Bodies in the world were made by the ego to be the ego's picture of fake innocence. A body which can be weak, small, vulnerable, attackable, seemingly minding its own business only to be assaulted un-asked-for by sinful enemies, the belief in which creates a wonderful opportunity to get rid of sin.

The ego's version of innocence is a guilt trap, a way to make sure we are passive, powerless, helpless and hopeless. To the ego, being innocent is being deserving of attack. It believes the innocent are sinful and therefore deserve punishment. And then when punishment is given, enacted by the fake-innocent themselves upon themselves, it simultaneously claims it did not deserve it, to justify revenge. It plays both sides of victim and victimizer roles.

Fake innocence is denial. It portrays oneself as anything other than the obvious "one who sinned". It is a deflecting maneuver, designed to make guilt unconscious and deflect absolutely all possible signs that we were the one to attack God. It is a facade, a coverup, a persona, painting a picture of ourselves as having not wanted to sin at all, all the while keeping the belief that we really wanted to sin hidden in the mind.

Bodies were projected in order to deny guilt, and guilt was made in order to deny sin, and sin way made in order to deny God.

Bodies which are born and which seem to be innocent in the ways that the ego describes innocent, are not innocent. They are decoys. They are facades designed specifically to deceive and distract and deflect attention away from the sin in the mind which has been made unconscious. They work tremendously well, because for the ego, its main symbol of innocence within its dream is the perfect hiding place for hidden hates and secret sins.

True innocence is invulnerable. It is powerful. It cannot be hurt. It is immortal. It needs no protection or defense. It needs nothing to look after it. It has no dependency on external guardians to keep it safe. It needs nothing from the world to sustain it. It cannot be attacked and it cannot sin and therefore it is utterly free of every illusion of sickness and death. Real innocence brings the peace of God.

"World: a natural grand division."

"The world, as defined above, WAS made as a natural grand division, or projecting outward of God. That is why everything which He Created is like Him." (world here refers to heaven not earth)

"This aching world has not the power to touch the living world at all." (earth vs heaven)

"The Garden of Eden, which is described as a literal garden in the Bible, was not originally an actual garden at all. It was merely a mental state of complete need-lack. Even in the literal account, it is noteworthy that the pre-Separation state was essentially one in which man needed nothing." (heaven)

"Heaven is the home of perfect purity. And God created it for YOU." (heaven)

"because your mind has all the means at its disposal to side with Heaven or earth, as it elects." (heaven vs earth)

"Heaven remains your one alternative to this strange world you made and all its ways; its shifting patterns and uncertain goals, its painful pleasures and its tragic joys. God made no contradictions. What denies its own existence and attacks itself is not of Him. He did not make two minds, with Heaven as the glad effect of one, and earth the other's sorry outcome which is Heaven's opposite in every way." (heaven vs earth)

There are many other quotes speaking to this. Heaven is a 'world' that God created through the projecting out of his being and thoughts. It is a world of eternal life. It is not planet Earth. It is the only "real" world, where you can actually fully live and be free.

The Earth, and the physical universe, were MADE by you, in your decision to attempt to side with ego and believe in separation. It is artificial, an illusion, made of death and fear, and does not really exist. It is opposite to Heaven in EVERY way. If you could comprehend the nature of Heaven, it would be obvious how this world is TOTALLY unlike Heaven.

When the illusion of the physical world is recognized, it will disappear. And all that remains will be Heaven. And that "place" will be where you live forever and have lived forever. You will be "in Heaven". That state of Heaven is NOT experienceable on Earth or while in a body, not even in true perception. Nor is it the "real world" or forgiven world. It is BEYOND THIS UNIVERSE.

Layers of separation from God, and the ego's continued use of denial and making things unconscious, resulted in a huge wall of unconsciousness and unawareness standing in-between the physical universe and higher levels. This is the main reason why you have near-total amnesia when you incarnate into a body. Massive-scale denial "separates" this universe from the higher planes and Heaven. Earth is not Heaven. It never will be, and the best you can do here is to see Heaven's reflection, hinting at what is beyond.

Here's a fairly easy meditation you can try. I call it 'being quiet'. You can use it to connect with and listen to Holy Spirit or Jesus.

Consider that your thoughts are actually audible, i.e. they are making sounds. If you can hear your thoughts, you are making sounds. And everyone else can hear your thoughts too, like being in a room having a conversation. I don't mean that there is a thought and there is a separate sound, I mean the thought IS the sound. We're so used to believing that all our thoughts are private that we let them run wild and unchecked, as though they impact nobody else. For the sake of this meditation, "there are no private thoughts!" - ACIM

Then imagine that you're in some place where, for whatever reason, you have to be very very quiet and not make any sound. Maybe you pretend you're in a library or a church or something. You don't have to picture anything particularly, you just need to know you need to be quiet - your audible thoughts need to be quietened down.

The main thing is simply 'being quiet' mentally, which basically means, not creating thoughts because they would disturb the peace. Since you know your thoughts are going to make sounds that are heard, and you need to be as quiet as possible, this simply compels you to focus on being quiet.

This isn't the same as thought control. You're not trying to stop thoughts once they've happened. You're just being quiet so that you do not make thoughts in the first place. And since your focus is on 'being quiet', that's enough to stop them arising. IF thoughts start to pop up you can bet you have 'failed' to be quiet because now your mind is chattering, and everyone can hear you! Shhhhhh!

I find this is easier for me than trying to be 'still', because stillness for me is too associated with lack of physical movement or not breathing and it just makes me become tense. I also find this easier than trying to focus on my breathing or breathing in a particular way or 'thought watching' and trying not to get caught up in thoughts. That's hard. Once thoughts are created they kind of have a mind of their own, because they are like little created beings with their own little bit of consciousness going off in random directions. Not making thoughts at all bypasses that. It's much easier to be quiet when there are no thoughts to deal with, than to try to clean up a noisy thought-mess after it's been triggered.

Once you've been doing this for al little while your mind should quieten down. In fact you should be able to 'be quiet' very quickly. I find this works far more effectively than other meditations I've tried.

While you're being quiet, take the opportunity then to calmly have a conversation with Holy Spirit or Jesus. Hearing them entails 'listening' which means not broadcasting your opinions and viewpoints, or your background 'processing' of what's being said. If you want to hear their voice, you need to stop your mental yacking and become receptive.Your thoughts ARE a conversation. And as the course says, the degree you will hear their voice is the degree that you're willing to listen.

Holy Spirit and Jesus are happy to talk to you if you will listen enough. Give it a try.

You can decide only this:

a) I am caused by God.

b) I am caused by the world.

When believing you are at the effect of the world, upset by someone, hurt by something, vulnerable in some way, offended, attacked, damaged, sick, etc.... you are believing that you are CAUSED BY the world, and thus that the world is your creator. It means you have forgotten that you are ONLY the result of God creating.

Anything true of you, anything about your nature, your condition, what you are, who you are, is entirely OUT OF YOUR HANDS. Who and what you are is purely God's decision and you have absolutely no power to change that. You can however deny that you are as God created you and pretend to be something else, but to do that you HAVE to make yourself be caused BY something else, hence needing an entire world and false God to be your new daddy.

Essentially, by rejecting God as your father and source of your inheritance, you are forced to see yourself as a victim of the world. You can't be denying God's fatherhood and expect to "get away with it" by being in a world but not attacked by the world. Either God will cause you, or the world will cause you. The only choice you have is which thought system you want to be caused by or a part of.

To know yourself is to recognize and remember that you are ONLY what God created, you a AS God created you, you have NO desire to make anything else of yourself, you cannot and have not changed, and you are STILL the perfect divine innocent being that HE chose to create. Accepting your real identity and nature, is accepting God as your father, and therefore accepting the truth about you.

You don't get to be the source of yourself, nor do you get to redefine who and what you are. As soon a you try to do so you deny God and your own self and invent an illusory identity. This is a state of denial, and so your false self is rooted in denial of yourself. It can hardly function in any healthy way when it is constantly attacking itself.

Either you can be in self attack, thus see yourself as caused by the world, or you can be healthy by seeing yourself as caused by God. If you are caused by God, you cannot be sick or dead or unhappy or vulnerable. If you are ONLY as God created you, and are under NO laws but God's, you are not under the laws of the world, nor are you caused BY the world or anything in it.

"Nothing in the world can bring oppression"

"I am not at the effect of the world I see."

"I am not a victim of the world."

"I am under no laws but God's."

"I am still as God created me."

"There is nothing about me that you cannot attain. I have nothing that does not come from God. The main difference between us as yet is that I have NOTHING ELSE. This leaves me in a state of true holiness, which is only a POTENTIAL in you."

Jesus suggested to me that some form of meditation might help me to find some 'clarity and hope'. His instruction was to relax.

So the past couple of mornings I've done a very simple, easy meditation which completely quiets the mind very quickly with no effort. In fact I don't even focus on trying to quiet the mind, it was an unexpected side effect.

The 'meditation' is simply to lay down and thoroughly relax the body. That's all. The only part my mind plays is to constantly focus on relaxing, letting tensions ease, noticing any muscle tightness, sinking down into the bed, letting the fascial muscles relax, the shoulders sink down, etc. My goal is a 'feeling' I get when the body is really deeply relaxed.

As I focus constantly on relaxing as much as possible, very unexpectedly, no thoughts happen. I don't even need to try to stop any thoughts, there just aren't any. My mind is fully focused on getting the body to relax physically.

As the body relaxes physically, when it truly is relaxed, you get this sensation of physical stillness. Breathing is still happening. I pay no attention to trying to control the breath. The breath automatically slows down and becomes smaller as a side-effect of focusing on relaxing. There is no breath control needed.

After a time, maybe 10-15 minutes, I find that I need to be extra soft, gentle, and subtle, in terms of my attention to keeping things relaxed, because the sensation of relaxation is quite easily disturbed or stirred up. This focus on calmness and minimal interference and letting go, seems to tune the mind and keeps all thoughts silent. Probably also the focus on the whole body relaxing at once is a 'big enough' target that the mind has no attention left to create thoughts. The goal is simply the sensation you get when the body is completely relaxed all over, which is a feeling of being very settled, still, calm, almost like levitating.

As I do this I generally find myself falling asleep as well, it's a good way to get to sleep. I'm not bothered by that. What I did find this second time is that toward the end, I had a sudden unexpected moment of 'awareness', in which I became more aware and it seemed as though that was accompanied by an even further 'stilling' of the mind, beyond what I thought was possible. It felt like a clarifying, a sharpening, and a clearing. It wasn't like enlightenment or anything but it was a definite sudden burst of awareness.

The main thing I am getting from the meditation, besides feeling very relaxed, which also has the side-effect of helping to tune out of other people's energies that I've empathed and I 'come back to myself', is that it gives me a subtler clarity about certain situations in life, and also about the activities of my mind, what my thoughts are doing, etc. It shines a light on things and shows me a greater truth somehow, things I didn't realize I was doing. I didn't realize how much mind-chatter I have, normally, contrasted by absolutely no thoughts during this exercise.

I'm most surprised that thoughts stop completely when doing this. I know that focusing the mind can do that - focusing on a breath or a mantra or word or single idea or whatever... but when I do those things, my mind is still noisy and doesn't shut up all the way, and after a while it starts to go into deeper daydreams and stuff. Doing this body relaxation exercise I get absolutely no thoughts of any kind the whole time, provided I keep my focus on being as gentle and subtly relaxed as possible. It makes me wonder what this connection is between agitation in the body and agitation in the mind. But probably it's that I'm getting my mind to focus on calmness, quietness, stillness, being settled, and the body is sort of a 'prop' for the mind to use to achieve that, through focusing on its relaxation. Tying the mind and body together perhaps, so that the mind relaxes with the body.

Of course, meditations also produce emotional releases afterwards.

In our special relationships, we think of a particular person as our savior, idol, bestie, or appointed partner. We adore them with very exclusive terms and special attention. Things that we reserve only for them and for no-one else.

This is the main mode of functioning of love in most people. Special love, for special people, in special ways. Or in other words, limited love, in exclusive situations, with a very small handful of individuals.

The ego in us loves this. It loves to love only a tiny subset of the Sonship. It loves to isolate and limit and constrain all love to one special chosen target recipient. It loves to really strongly play up how important and special and relied-upon that person is, because what this indirectly implies, is that everyone else sucks bigtime.

Special relationships therefore feed the ego 'persona' - the parts of life that it wants to keep and approve of - which is a very limited slice of reality - which it will eventually still attack and destroy. And while it feeds this persona, it relegates everything else to prison, which goes into your own mind as your 'shadow' self, filled with rejection and hate and attack. And that shadow self will attack your persona self and attack your special relationship and eventually try to destroy it. And as such romance turns to resentment. That's what the ego has in store for you when you play along with the special-love game. It ends in tears.

Ok so, being a bit dramatic ;-)

The point is, most people are stuck in this game, and there is a whole other way to experience life. And that means, bringing specialness into question, which is especially difficult when you have special relationships. It means that you will have to confront a sense of not depending on special people, but instead depending on God. It means you will have to examine why you can only love this one person and not everyone else, and also find out what it is within yourself that refuses to love everyone equally. Typically it's because you do not want to love yourself at all times, but only when you yourself are 'special' to yourself, which is probably not often.

Sometimes therefore special relationships have to go through a transition in order for the relationship to become 'holy', which means, the specialness (which is really a form of conditionality and limitation) has to be brought into question. And indeed, it may have to be released, which can be very painful, in order to make way for a greater expansion of love that overflows beyond the borders of the special relationship. How can you be unconditionally loving and uncondtionally yourself without letting go of the specialness that limits and imprisons you?

This doesn't have to mean the end of a relationship or necessarily its destruction, but at times it can seem that the special aspects of the relationship undergo a breakdown, to reveal a deeper unconditionality, a deeper more genuine more honest love, that doesn't put on a mask of pretense and perhaps doesn't play into the appearance of a typical special relationship. This means the relationship is becoming holy, in which the 'real selves' are starting to relate on terms of deeper honesty and greater willingness to love. Love actually increases, but it becomes in a sense less personally confining. It become more freeing, more allowing, more accepting, and that's different than how a special relationship typically starts out.

What remains then is a TRUE relationship, not only with another person but also with yourself, where you yourself are more genuine, where you are not dependent on the other person for the source of your love, where you are able to be of service, where you love them unconditionally, love yourself unconditionally, and also love beyond the walls of the 'relationship' unconditionally. What applies to you must apply to all. And as such, as you mature into unconditional love, you are maturing into a relationship with the entire Sonship, based on love instead of rejection and special attention.

This ultimately is the only way to love yourself.

The separation from God is otherwise described as dissociation, or as I like to spell it - dis-association.

We were associated with our soul, as God created it, in heaven's reality. We believed it was our self, our identity.

The separation from God was an act of trying to dis-identify from the soul, or to deny reality, ie no longer "associate with" spirit.

This dis-association, trying not to be what we are, produced a counter-attempt to associate WITH ... something that we are not.

As such, when all forms arose from projection, our minds attempted to associate WITH forms, of any kind. To associate with anything not of God, anything outside of heaven, anything which would keep you away from associating with your real self.

So then you attempt to associate with, bind with, identify with, be as, or become one with, anything other than what you really are.

This sort of ... holding on process, of associating with false things - the holding on itself, the identifying, the sense or belief that the thing is your self ... is what we call THE EGO.

It's a mind which had previously identified and associated with spirit, which is temporarily stretching itself to try to reject spirit and bind to something not of God, something other than what is true.

So as mind tries to believe you are something you're not, it forms a "sense of self" as though "you are" things opposite to God. And that sense of self we might call ego.

It's a misplaced artificial false sense of self, a collection of parts and pieces, a disjointed incomplete and unstable attempt to be one with a wide range of unreal stuff.

You can identify with thoughts, emotion, mind, body, the world, objects, relationships, other people, events, roles you play, victimhood, war, etc. Anything at all so long as it's not what you really are.

"Exclusion and separation are synonymous. So are separation and dissociation. We have said before that the separation was and IS dissociation, and also that once it had occurred, projection became its main defense, or the device which KEEPS IT GOING."

"The ego IS therefore a confusion in identification, which never had a consistent model, and never developed consistently. It is the distorted product of the misapplication of the laws of God by distorted minds which are misusing their own power."

"EVERYTHING you perceive as the outside world, is merely your attempt to maintain your ego identification, for everyone believes that identification is salvation."

"When you imprison yourself, you are losing sight of your true identification with me and with the Father. Your identification IS with the Father and with the Son."

"Can you be separated from your identification and be at peace? Dissociation is NOT a solution; it is a DELUSION. "

"In his complete identification with the Christ--the perfect Son of God, His one creation and His happiness, forever like Himself and One with Him - Jesus became what all of us must be. "

"Your identification with the Kingdom is totally beyond question except by you WHEN YOU ARE THINKING INSANELY."

"Attack is thus the way in which your identification is lost, because, when you attack, you MUST have forgotten what you are."

"Miracles praise God through men. They praise God by honoring his Creations, affirming their perfection. They heal because they deny body-identification and affirm Soul-identification."

Basically, you simply just need to remember who you are, as God created you. To "know" your SELF again.

Jesus: "I was a man who remembered the Soul and its knowledge."

"I have nothing that does not come from God. The main difference between us as yet is that I have NOTHING ELSE. This leaves me in a state of true holiness"

Not knowing your self, or who and what you are, you believe you are something else. And this belief that something is true of you which isn't, is the ego. It's a false self that you invented to disguise your real self. And so the ONLY problem really is one of. .. what is your identity? Or rather, what do you identify with or as.

Are you spirit, or are you an ego/body? Becoming identified with your spirit is the goal. And this requires recognizing that you are not the "sense of self" that identifying with the ego brings, which is really based on belief and denial of knowledge, not knowledge. Just as "to sense is not to know."

The question is simply, who or what are you? What is true of you? Or more to the point, will you identify WITH and AS a fiction of specialness and exclusion, or will you identify WITH and AS the Christ-soul that God created you as... .which is an identity shared with all the other Christ-souls that are God's equal children.

Ego is merely a belief in being an isolated separated self which does not share with and is different to other selves. While the soul is the knowledge that you were created equal to all beings and that you share everything with them.

The way Jesus describes your self, in fact, is that you cannot know your self alone, or in isolation, because your self's "nature" is that it is SHARED WITH OTHER SELVES who exist as individuals simultaneously. And only by accepting your oneness with them as brothers can you fully embrace "your self".

Ego is the idea of rejecting oneness with your brothers. "Miracles unite you with your brother." So your self, as A son of God, cannot be a SINGLE son of God, it has to be an EQUAL son of God with other sons of God. And KNOWING that is knowing the fullness of your real identity.

"Ego is the idea of selfishness. Soul is the idea of self-fullness."

Jesus clarifies:

"***The goal of the curriculum, regardless of the teacher you choose, is Know thyself.*** There is nothing else to learn. Everyone is looking for himself and the power and glory he thinks he has lost. Whenever you are with anyone ELSE, you have another opportunity to find them. Your power and glory are in HIM BECAUSE they are yours. **The ego tries to find them in yourself**, because he does not know where to look. But the Holy Spirit teaches you that ***if you look only at yourself you CANNOT find yourself*** because that is NOT what you are.

Whenever you are ***with a brother you are learning what you are***, because you are teaching what you are. He will respond either with pain or with joy, depending on which teacher you are following. He will be imprisoned or released according to your decision, and so will you. Never forget your responsibility to him, because it is your responsibility to yourself. ***Give him his place in the Kingdom, and you will have yours.*** ***The Kingdom cannot be found alone, and you who are the Kingdom cannot find yourselves alone.***