Often when you are experiencing some long-term struggle with something, where you have a lot of emotions and stress about it, when the thing finally gets resolved something happens.

Since you now perceive that the problem has gone, it's kind of like lifting the lid off a saucepan filled with reactions. Emotions that you were bottling up and didn't seem to be resolveable. All the feelings you werehaving in the midst of real-seeming problems, worries, fears, guilts etc, suddenly come flying up into awareness for release. The foundation and purpose of them is gone, so there's nothing to keep them in place.

I've seen this happen in myself countless times. Once the psychological perception that you have a real problem is lifted, the reactions to believing the problem was real suddenly have no "ceiling" to stop them flooding out. So on comes the catharsis.

Going through this right now, following my recent intense forgiveness and atonement about an event from many years ago. Even though the experience of the atonement was filled with innocence and truth, and even though it unlocked something in my mind and changed my perception forever, up now comes a large volume of emotinal baggage which is "no longer relevant". So it's kind of like flushing the toilet.

Light goes in (you eat light), you process it, darkness comes out the other end (shit).

As usual I did not really know what was bugging me until Jesus clued me in that this was happening. So it was time to fetch the tissues.

And then it became a great excus for some ice cream!

"The sole responsibility of the miracle worker is to accept the Atonement for himself. This means you recognize that mind is the only creative level, and that its errors are healed by the Atonement. Once you accept this, your mind can only heal. By denying your mind any destructive potential and reinstating its purely constructive powers, you place yourself in a position to undo the level confusion of others." - ACIM

In its fuller context, this appears to be saying that as your mind becomes healed, it becomes capable of healing, and then is in a position to be able to heal "the level confusion" of others. Jesus describes level confusion (confusion of the levels) as the sole foundation of all sickness. So that means, this gives you the power to undo the sickness of others.

What may at first seem like a focus on taking responsibility for your own Atonement, therefore extends to actual miracle working on behalf of others. Many people think that we are to only take responsibility for our own awakening and ignore the shit out of everyone else. That's how an EGO mind thinks, believing there is a separation between giving and receiving.

In the Holy Spirit's thought system what applies to you applies to everyone equally, and what is given is received. This makes the acceptance of Atonement (which is in His Mind) a different meaning - it no longer means you are accepting "exclusive" or "isolated" Atonement for a personal separate self, you're accepting that it applies to the ENTIRE sonship, and therefore that this gives you the power to heal all forms of sickness and suffering in yourself and others.

A rephrasing might be, "the sole responsibility of the person who will work miracles to heal everyone else, is to accept healing for all."

Elsewhere Jesus says "I could not atone for myself alone. Listening to one Voice implies the decision to share It in order to hear It yourself. The Mind that was in me is still irresistibly drawn to every mind created by God, because God's Wholeness is the Wholeness of His Son."

This means that when someone is in ego and is trying to attack you, you love them.

This means that when terrible disasters are occurring on the news, you love everyone involved.

This means that when someone is portraying themselves as sick and a victim, you love them.

This means that there is never really anything 'personal' in you that gets engaged with the story or illusion of what seems to be happening.

This means there is only this extending of love and at no point in this is there ever need for concern or fear or wondering what to do or figuring out how to speak or what to say or how to react differently to each situation.

The call for love requires a response of love, and nothing else. But we are extremely conditioned to respond to seemingly individual, separate illusions, with individualized, separate responses, coming from an individual that is separate, in separate ways.

The unification of our response, becoming "always love", is the aim of awakening. It may seem to be a tremendous challenge, to be free of ego reactions and upsets and involvement and interference, especially in the midst of 'temptation' by someone else or when someone's ego or pain is trying to distract your mind or to tempt you into conflict. But even then we are asked to only love.

This is difficult for me to do, and yet this is part of the lessons I am learning now. To choose to love ANYWAY, even if it does not seem called for, even if it is not asked for, even if it doesn't seem warranted or justified or deserved, and even if I am all upset and pissed off because my ego has gotten triggered.

I cannot love all the time. I can only partly love part of the time. But I am learning how loving fully all of the time is the truth of God and the light in which I am set free of my own unlovability. Because the lovability I see in others, is the lovability of myself, and my failure to love them is a failure to love me.

Always love.

Sometimes I am told to 'surrender', or 'relax', and to me this means I need to actively express a willingness to drop ego. Often this is when I'm laying in bed.

I will then repeat several times over and over, something like:

"I surrender, I let go, I surrender, I surrender, I surrender, I let go".

I say this in quick succession so that my ego mind can't get distracted. Quickly I feel a sense of admitting, a sense of honesty, a sense of letting go. Several 'sighs' occur as I let go of ego. I have to admit that I'm trying to do something by myself and I have to stop.

Another process I've started using also is to invite Jesus to come in and heal whatever, and again as soon I make this request I then repeat some statements. e.g.

"Jesus please come into me and heal this...." (whatever it is).

Then I repeat, "I receive your healing" or "I receive as much as you want to give".

I tried out the latter "I receive as much as you want to give" this morning and I found it interesting how this connects Jesus's willingness to help with my willingness to receive help. Significant healing took place. I have no idea what Jesus actually healed or what was occurring, I just had to trust.

Often when Holy Spirit or Jesus are doing healing in me, they say to 'relax', and this means I have to basically ALLOW them to do whatever, even if that means my body is shaking all over the place. It's my job to receive and not interfere.

The final word I received after this, was "trust God". And immediately as I reached out in trust to God, everything suddenly seemed better.

If I get my love from God, and you get your love from God, we can love each other as ourselves.

But this doesn't mean you are getting your love from me, or that I am getting my love from you. I do not need to get love from you, if I am getting it from God. And you do not need to get love from me, if you are getting it from God.

God is the only source of love. We can share God's love with each other, but ONLY IF we are willing to share it with God first.

Otherwise if I lack a connection of love with God, I will see myself as in need of love, and will look to you to provide it, because I don't want to look to God to provide it. And then I will attempt to take it from you, or manipulate you into giving it to me.

Similarly, if you are lacking in your connection of love with God, you will see yourself as in need, and will try to get love from me to fulfill your perceived need, which will never work.

The only solution is to plug ourselves back into the source of love, God, and to get our love from God, so that we can share IN it, be a part OF it, and EXTEND IT. Not extending it because there is a need that has to be filled in another, but extending it SO THAT there IS NO LACK OF LOVE.

Paradoxically then, love is given not because it is needed, but because it is not. Or rather, it is given so that it is not needed, because it is provided.

"While expressions like "think big" give some recognition to the power of thought, they still come nowhere near the truth. You do not expect to grow when you say it, because you don't really believe it. It is hard to recognize that thought and belief combine into a power-surge that can literally move mountains." UrT2E10

"Why is it strange to you that faith can move mountains? This is indeed a little feat for such a power." UrT21D3

This is literal. Your mind, has the power, to move an entire physical mountain, from one location to another.

BEFORE DENYING THIS OR WRITING IT OFF ..... look at where your skepticism is coming from. Try to be open minded.

The mind is EXTREMELY POWERFUL.

"The mind is a very powerful creator, and it never loses its creative force. It never sleeps. Every instant it is creating, and ALWAYS as you will. " URT2E8

Not only can you move a mountain, you can invent entire worlds.

"Your Father created you Wholly without sin, wholly without pain, and wholly without suffering of any kind. If you deny Him, you bring sin, pain, and suffering into your OWN mind, because of the power He gave it. Your mind is capable of creating worlds, but it can also DENY what it creates, because it is free." UrT9K9

Your mind has the power to CREATE WORLDS!

In fact, your mind ... YOUR mind .... made this entire universe of space and time and all the galaxies.

That is how powerful your mind is. And this is a small feat for such an INFINITE UNLIMITED POWER.

Because you have the power of God in you.

"Through your holiness the power of God is made manifest. Through your holiness the power of God is made available. And there is nothing the power of God cannot do." UrW38L1

"The power of God, and NOT of you, engenders miracles. " UrT14F7

If the POWER OF GOD, which is unlimited, engenders MIRACLES .... then surely MIRACLES (real ones) MUST be POWERFUL ACTS! A shift in perception is not a demonstration of INIFNITE POWER.

"The power of God IS limitless." UrT14F7

You, have a power in you, which is limiteless, infinite, without measure, so vast and so incredible, that it is capable of creating entire kingdoms. "I have a kingdom I must rule." UrW236L1

"You, too, have a Kingdom which your Soul has created. It has not ceased to create because your ego has set you on the road of perception." UrT4D3

You are an incredible powerful being, and the idea of you healing the sick and raising the dead IS A SMALL FEAT for the power that you have in you. It is the power OF God, but it is also given TO YOU TO USE, and IT IS YOURS, beause you SHARE IT with God.

"Here again is the paradox often referred to in the course. To say, "Of myself I can do nothing" is to gain all power. And yet it is but a seeming paradox. As God created you, you have all power." UrM30A4

Why aren't people USING INFINITE POWER? Why are people profoundly skeptical of miracles that can MOVE MOUNTAINS, raise the dead, end physical suffering and heal minds?

"You still HAVE the power, but you have interposed so much between it and your AWARENESS of it, that you cannot use it. EVERYTHING you have taught yourselves has made your power more and more obscure to you. You know not WHAT it is, nor WHERE." UrT14G1

Just because your power is obscured does not mean you do not have it. And the goal here is to uncover and remember and re-access this power so that you can WORK MIRACLES WITH IT.

Because real miracle working - which CAN cause the moving of physical mountains - FOR WHATEVER REASON .... and not knowing the "purpose or sense" as to WHY you would do this is NOT an excuse for writing it off and rendering the power inept ..... is perfectly capable of wielding the unlimited power of God which has been GIVEN YOU in order to GIVE YOU THE POWER to work miracles. Not merely the power to "change your mind a bit" which is a TINY change.

"The power to work Miracles BELONGS to you. I will create the right opportunities for you to do them. But you must be ready and willing to do them, since you are already able to. Doing them will bring conviction in the ability. I repeat that you will see Miracles through your hands through MINE. Conviction really comes through accomplishment. Remember that ability is the potential, Achievement is its expression, and Atonement is the Purpose." UrT1B23K

Notice that it says that you have a POWER to work miracles. This is not "the power to shift a perception" or "the power to only fix your mind" or "the power to change your thinking a bit". It is a POWER. A power which is potentailly unlimited and vast and unstoppable and capable of having dominion over the entire universe. Especially given that...

"My Self is ruler of the universe." --- It is impossible that anything should come to me unbidden by myself. Even in this world, it is I who rule my destiny. What happens is what I desire. What does not occur is what I do not want to happen. This must I accept." UrW253

What happens is what you desire? You desire someone's arm to be healed? It's done. You deesire a mountain to be moved to another location? It is done. You desire to raise the dead or walk on water? It is done. UNLIMITED POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are meant to be becoming EMPOWERED PEOPLE, as miracle workers, as children of God, beings with the power of God in us, a power so vast that it can create entire worlds, create living beings, can stop floods, can end wars, can do ANYTHING AT ALL.

"There is nothing my holiness cannot do because the power of God lies in it." UrW38L5

We are playing at being small and little, helpless victims, powerless little self-helpers, studying in a nice quiet corner, disturbing no-one, doing nothing, having no CAUSATION, demonstrating nothing, having no proof of the power of God, no evidenec that the Holy Spirit is working through us, nice and queit and safe and tidy. Where is the POWER? Where are the REAL MIRACLES? We are better than this, bigger than this, mightier than this. We are sons of God!

"You cannot see the Holy Spirit, but you CAN see His MANIFESTATIONS. And UNLESS YOU DO, you will not realize He is there. Miracles are His witnesses, and speak for his Presence. What you cannot see becomes real to you only through the witnesses who speak FOR it. For you can be AWARE of what you cannot see, and it can become compellingly real to you, as its presence becomes manifest THROUGH you." UrT11h4

"Thus is the body healed by miracles BECAUSE they show the mind MADE sickness, and employed the body to be victim, or EFFECT, of what it made." UrT28C11

"If the mind can heal the body, but the body cannot heal the mind, then the mind MUST BE STRONGER. Every miracle demonstrates this. " UrT6F9

"The Holy Spirit is invisible, but you CAN see the results of His Presence, and through them, you will learn that He is there. What He enables you to do is clearly NOT of this world, for miracles violate every law of reality, as this world judges it. Every law of time and space, of magnitude and mass, of prediction and control, is transcended, for what the Holy Spirit enables you to do is clearly beyond ALL of them. Perceiving His RESULTS, you will understand where He MUST be, and finally KNOW what He is." UrT11H3

"The goal of the curriculum, regardless of the teacher you choose, is KNOW THYSELF. There is nothing else to learn. Everyone is looking for himself and the power and glory he thinks he has lost."

"The Bible instructs you to "KNOW thyself," or BE CERTAIN. Certainty is always of God."

Do you know who you really are? What you really are is an immortal, eternal, changeless, endless, permanent, absolute being. As an immortal being, you can never change, never become anything, never turn into anything and never die. Nothing can ever happen to change you, and you cannot change yourself.

In order to KNOW who you are, you will have to be willing to fully embrace and acknowledge that you are an immortal being. If you are immortal, it is impossible that anyone has attacked you, has power over you, has hurt you, offended or upset you, or that the world has the power to do anything to you.

When you suggest that the world or its inhabitants have caused you in some way, causing you to change in some way, you are insinuating that you DO NOT know yourself. If you knew you were immortal you could not believe these things. If you enter into believing these things, you are losing touch with who you are and no longer know who you are.

It cannot be that you know yourself while someone else has the power to modify what you are. If someone can change you in ANY way, influence you in ANY way, you are unknown and are lost and confused about who and what you are. If you are absolutely certain of who and what you are, nothing and no-one can in ANY way change you or define you or modify you or cause you or hurt you or influence you. You must be unmoved and undisturbed by the world.

This means that anyone who believes in any way that they are affected by the world, does not know who they are. Anyone who believes they can suffer, be sick, die, be unhappy, be upset or offended, caused to change against their will in any way, does NOT know who they are.

You cannot remain in the knowledge that you are immortal while believing that you are vulnerable and susceptible. That you can be affected and attacked. You cannot maintain that you are invulnerable and permanently alive if you are asserting that you have been assailed by someone, damaged by something, destroyed in some way.

These are beliefs in mortality, which is a belief that you are dead and not alive. You can't know yourself to be immortal if you are confused about whether you have eternal life or not. Any suggestion we have that someone has done something to us is an attack upon our own immortality. Just as in "my attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability" and "I can be hurt by nothing but my thoughts" and "nothing in the world can bring oppression."

The question of forgiveness then, as to whether I am forgiving or not, or how much, boils down to the degree to which I am CERTAIN about WHO I AM. If I KNOW myself with perfect certainty, then I am automatically forgiving. I will not accuse anyone of doing anything to me, because this is literally an attempt to assert that I am mortal. I will not produce a sickness because this also is an attempt to prove I can be hurt.

"Sickness is an attempt to prove you can be hurt."

By acknowledging your immortality you are automatically going to detach yourself from all the supposed causes in the world, you will take back all your power that you've given away, you'll see yourself as an immovable object in the river, and completely DOMINANT of everything you see. This is how you have power over death and power to overcome the world. NOTHING can prevail against a son of God who knows who he is, and his power is unlimited and absolute and unopposed.

"But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are."

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you seem to have to deal with fear or guilt, upsets of any kind, any kind of stress or suffering, any sense of shame or unworthiness, any apparent sickness or loss or malfunction, or even death, you MUST have forgotten who you really are. You must be out of touch with knowing that you are immortal, and you are trying to prove that you are susceptible, vulnerable, damageable, hurtable, attackable, weakened, capable of being destroyed and able to be CHANGED by something.

The immortal can never be changed by anything or anyone. If I claim that such and such a person upset me, I am literally claiming that I am changeable, malleable, affect-able, underminable, weak, victimizable, and destructible. It is a belief in mortality. When I am being unforgiving, I am asserting and choosing death. When I am suffering in any way, I am forgetting that I am still as God created me. When I am blaming people for stuff, I am doing myself a disservice.

Your task then is to remember who you are, be certain of who you are, be extremely in touch with who you are, be absolutely clear about the fact that you are an immortal permanent being that can never be changed by anyone or anything, and KNOW your self. To know yourself you have to remember your SOUL, the you that God created to live forever. And through this knowing you are in perfect forgiveness, because nothing can happen to those who have eternal life.

"That is why blame must be UNDONE, NOT re-allocated. Lay it to yourself, and you cannot KNOW yourself, for ONLY THE EGO BLAMES AT ALL. Self-blame is therefore ego identification, and as strong an ego defense as blaming others. YOU CANNOT ENTER GOD's PRESENCE IF YOU ATTACK HIS SON."

"You can know yourself only as God knows His Son, for KNOWLEDGE is shared WITH God."

"Separation is only the decision NOT to know yourself. Its whole thought-system is a carefully-contrived learning experience, designed to lead AWAY from truth, and into fantasy."

"To be alive and not to know yourself is to believe that you are really dead"

"This is a course in how to KNOW yourself. You have TAUGHT what you are, but have NOT let what you are, teach YOU."

"Accept as true only what your brother IS, if you would know yourself. Perceive what he is NOT, and you CANNOT know what you are, BECAUSE you see HIM falsely. "

"Can you who see yourselves WITHIN a body, know yourself AS AN IDEA?"

"Blasphemy, then, is SELF-destructive, not God destructive. It means that you are willing NOT to know yourself, IN ORDER to be sick."

"Identity and function are the same, and BY your function do you know yourself. "

"To believe that you can perceive the real world is to believe that you can know yourself."

A Course in Miracles is a teaching us to leave a dream of mortality, and return to a state of immortality. Everything in the course points to this. You are not merely substituting one limited illusion for another. You are literally substituting DEATH for ETERNAL LIFE. That is why the curriculum culminates in RESURRECTION.

Resurrection is the return to ETERNAL life. The atonement is your acceptance of the fact, that you already have eternal life, eternal life is the only thing true of you, and you have always been immortal. Immortality is your natural state of being. God created you to live FOREVER, without ever suffering, being sick, afraid, dead, or unhappy.

Every single part of ACIM is geared towards you disassociating from illusions of death, vulnerability, victimhood, being affected, being hurt, sickness and all forms of suffering, and re-associating yourself with your IMMORTAL SPIRIT.

As the Course states.

1) You are immortal and you cannot die.

2) You already have eternal life, given by God, and it is permanent.

3) You cannot change your immortality.

4) You are always immortal but when you deny your immortality, you PRETEND to be mortal. You dream of being attackable, suffering and dying, but this has NO EFFECT on your immortality.

5) Those who are sane would never use the dream body to demonstrate SYMBOLS of attack, suffering, sickness or death. To do so is a mixed teaching combining PROOF of belief in attack, with an attempt to teach otherwise. The teaching is only PURE when you are demonstrating the immortality of the body, at least as a SYMBOL of immortality. The body can become a symbol of eternal life, a breath of fresh air to those grown sick of the fetid stench of death.

Life is eternal life. There is no life that is not eternal. This is why there is no life outside of heaven, and life "in the dream world" is an illusion of life.

The entire course is trying to get you to own up to being immortal, invulnerable, completely beyond all forms of attack. You are absolutely permanent. And any time that you ACT as if you are not, as if you have been hurt, affected, caused, damaged, made to suffer against your will, you are LYING, you are in denial, and you are PRETENDING that you are not immortal.

You can see this truth throughout all of ACIM's teachings. e.g.

Deny anything not of God the power to affect you (you cannot BE affected, you are immortal)

Nothing in the world can bring oppression or make you ill or sad or weak or afraid (you cannot be ill or weak or afraid or upset because you are immortal)

There is no cause in the world, it is just an effect (the world cannot cause you in any way because you are unchangeable)

You are not a victim of the world you see (you are incapable of being a victim because you are immortal)

Your attack thoughts are attacking your *invulnerability* (your invulnerability cannot BE attacked because you are immortal, but you can pretend it can)

You cannot be hurt unless you hurt yourself (because you are immortal, and even your hurt of yourself is fake)

You are immortal and cannot die, but you can confuse yourself with things that do (simply, you are immortal)

My self is ruler of the universe. Nothing comes to me unbidden by myself (because you are immortal)

It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No-one but yourself affects you. (because you are fucking immortal)

It is impossible that anything should come to me unbidden by myself. Even in this world, it is I who rule my destiny. (because nothing can CAUSE YOU, because you are NOT AN EFFECT of anything but God, and you are immortal)

If the mind can heal the body, but the body cannot heal the mind, then the mind must be STRONGER. Every miracle demonstrates this. (because the mind has immortality)

He MUST deny the world of pain, the instant he perceives the arms of love around him. (deny the world because it is an attempt to prove you are not immortal, and its a lie)

This world you see MUST BE DENIED, for sight of it is costing you a different kind of vision. (you must deny all illusions of death, because you are immortal)

Teachers of God choose to look upon dreams a while... they are not deceived by what they see. (because they are immortal and know "death is the CENTRAL ILLUSION from which is all dreams stem" and you cannot die, because you are immortal)

I am not weak but strong. I am not afraid but all powerful. (because you are immortal, nothing has power over you)

YOU ARE IMMORTAL AND YOU CANNOT DIE. And any attempt you are making to PROVE otherwise, is futile and pointless and a form of self deception. When you stop deceiving yourself and others with this denial, you will stop trying to kill yourself, will stop making the body sick or dead, and will OVERCOME DEATH FOREVER.

Immortality is the only truth about you. Ask yourself, why am I trying to prove I am not immortal? Why am I accusing someone of being ABLE to hurt me? Why am I BELIEVING that I have BEEN hurt? Nothing can affect you. It is your own mis-belief that it CAN, that affects you. You hurt yourself, and nothing in the world can cause you suffering of any kind.

Owning up to your immortality is the key to the atonement, the resurrection and the life. THIS is A Course in Miracles. This is the way home to God. Accept your immortality, live by your immortality, demonstrate your immortality, and deny everything else any reality.

Nothing real can be threatened, and YOU ARE REAL. So YOU CANNOT BE THREATENED. Because you are immortal!

So any attempt you make to act as if you are not immortal, to believe someone affected you, something happened to you, something went against your will, you're victimized, you're suffering, etc... it all you PRETENDING TO SUFFER by pretending you are the body, making *IT* suffer, to try to prove that "you" are suffering. Your immortal is unaffected by suffering, sickness and death.

There is no REAL death. The son of God is FREE. But the Son of God can PRETEND to die, by using ILLUSIONS of things that seem to die, to try to prove he is NOT the son of God and not immortal. It's a lie. Do not believe it. Own your immortality and use it to contrast what you are doing that betrays your immortality. Compare your immortality to your victimhood. Can you REALLY have been affected if you have immortality? Can you be justified in TRYING to prove you can suffer?

"Sickness is an attempt to prove you can be hurt". "A damaged body is proof the mind has not been healed." ie if the mind believes it is NOT immortal, it uses the body to TRY to prove that "it" is attackable and vulnerable. And this is always a self deception. You hurt yourself on purpose to try to prove you are not yourself. That has to end in order to accept the atonement and live the resurrection. Your return to ETERNAL LIFE is the goal fo this course.

"What you would hide is hidden from you."

"Fantasies are the veil behind which truth is hidden."

"The hidden can terrify not for what it is, but for its hiddenness."

"Love has no darkened temples where mysteries are kept obscure and hidden from the sun."

"Every thought you would keep hidden shuts off communication."

"The children of God are holy and the miracle honors their holiness, which can be hidden but never lost."

"To learn this course requires willingness to question every value that you hold. Not one can be kept hidden and obscure but it will jeopardize your learning. No belief is neutral. Every one has the power to dictate each decision you make."

-------------------------

God is fully aware of you right now. The Holy Spirit especially is able to perceive everything about you in this illusory world. He literally knows everything, having access to true knowledge and a completely full perception with nothing hidden or omitted from His sight.

Therefore, if you think there are some things you are successfully hiding from Him, think again. "He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake" ;-) ... just like Santa.

He even is aware of everything you get up to "in private". Every time you are taking a shit, He is right there. Even when you're... you know... doing the deed.... He is right there. He literally is unlimited in His awareness of you.

Even the things which you think you are hiding from Him, you are only hiding them from yourself. He is perfectly aware of them. He is aware of everything in you, everything you think, all of your memories, every experience you've ever had, and everything that is going to happen.

If you can admit to yourself that He "sees you"... that He already knows everything about you and has not forgotten or ignored you whatsoever, this CAN be used as a justification for surrendering your hidden hates and secret sins. It can be used as a rationale for why there is no point in trying to keep these things hidden from Him.

This is where the true power of "confession" comes in. I'm not talking about being Catholic either. I'm talking about, the willingness to admit that there is no point hiding because it does not work. The willingness to expose your darkest secrets to the light. The willingness to purge from yourself every little dark corner which you keep hidden and secret believing that He would hate you for it.

God is not about to judge you or hate you or attack you or punish you for anything you think you've done. It's perfectly safe to TRUST Him with your deepest shames and your most horrifying sins. Just get them out in the open.

Hey, fact is, HE ALREADY KNOWS WHAT YOU THINK YOU DID. Who are you kidding? You think you can Hide from He who is Omnipresent? You think there is a place where He does not exist or has no awareness? God knows everything. Holy Spirit perceives the whole picture.

So why try to keep stuff hidden as if doing so is keeping you safer? Keeping stuff hidden just keeps YOU in the dark and keeps you afraid and protects the sin and uses this "fear of what God will think" as a justification for not exposing it to Him.

And the fact is, you WANT To keep your stuff in the dark because you know that if you were to expose it to the light it would disappear. And you don't want that, because you want to keep your sin and keep on suffering, believing it is a valuable treasure that He would take away from you, something that you have long kept within you as "truth" and as your own verdict of what you're worth.

Expose yourself to God. Let it all out. Trust Him to be nothing but understanding and forgiving as you "confess" everything you think you ever did wrong or whatever is sinful about you. He will disregard it. He knows it's not true of you. He just wants to help you, for you to be willing to put all your shitty lies into His hands so that He can dissolve them and give you a big hug of love.

If you can tune into this idea that God already knows your every secret, and see the futility of keeping anything from Him, then you will become quite willing to admit the truth. Which means, allowing the truth to access you and heal you. It doesn't mean you "really did do" what you think you did. It means, you really didn't, but you don't realize that until you let it out in the open, into the light, to let Him remove it for you.

One practice I find useful sometimes is to imagine an "altar" or some kind of thing, where you can put your dark shit onto it and it will simply disappear. It's taken from you by the Holy Spirit. I say like "I give this shame to you Holy Spirit" and I visualize myself literally reaching into myself, pulling out this "stuff", and handing it over to Him or putting it on the altar. I may even visualize his hands taking it. And often the stuff I pull out takes on a "form" like spiked objects or heavy balls or a basket full of weapons or a bucket of blackness or whatever... I hand it over and let it go. It disappears. After several rounds of that, you can feel the relief, and you feel happier.

You might as well confess, because at this point, it's not a matter of whether "The Law" (God) knows what you think you did or not, it's only a matter of you being willing to offer it up in a surrendering act of handing it over and admitting to your belief in it, and NOT getting punished for it, and then having it be absolved and undone. Just surrender it all to God and acknowledge God's awareness of you.

God's verdict of you is ALWAYS that you are innocent no matter what you think you did. So just get that shit out. Hand it over! Give it to God and let it go already.

Quite often when I'm stressing about whether I'm doing the right thing or not, focusing on doing something I think I want to do but feeling guilty about it, Holy Spirit will give me a wide berth of permission. Instead of saying to stop doing it, He'll encourage me. Instead of reprimanding me, he'll suggest I even put aside things I'm "supposed" to be doing and do what it is I want to do.

There are also times when I'm doing something which seems very ego and 'against' waking up or being spiritual, and I might even be stubbornly refusing to listen to Holy Spirit's guidance. Not that he isn't speaking to me often, but that I am ignoring Him or choosing something on my own. Even then, Holy Spirit will say something like ... "its your life."

The sense of being 'allowed' that comes from this is immense. And usually just be experiencing no resistance like this, it will highlight for me and make clear whether I really want to do this or not. Holy Sprit is so non-forceful. Like, zero force. When I am expecting there to be force, or demands, or requirements, or permission, or whatever other form of guilt, He comes through with openness and acceptance.

It always catches me by surprise. I am never expecting His generous response. It's very loving. Instead of making me wrong for anything, even if I am doing something wrong, He makes me feel like it's okay, and then this creates a space in which to see clearly. Usually then when this attachment and resistance is gone, it becomes much more obvious where I really stand. And then I find myself being willing to either pursue what I was pursuing, or surrender it.

I become willing to do what He wanted me to do along, and then he turns around and says, "tomorrow". i.e. carry on doing whatever else.

It's always a blessing.