The main reason why you automatically assume that other people do stuff to you, and that it affects you, is because you assume that you are currently aware of the entire content of your own mind.

Your little 'conscious self' believes that everything about you, everything that is in you, you must be conscious of right now. If you're not conscious of it, you believe it does not exist and is not a part of you, except that maybe you accept you have 'memories' stored somewhere. But you don't generally accept that you have 'reactions' stored somewhere, or 'wounds', or 'emotional content'.

This is how most of us perceive and engage and live our lives, as little conscious selves that believe we are fully aware of every part of ourselves, as though any and all previous trauma or upset simply does not exist in you anymore.

So then what happens is, someone comes along and offers to be a victimizer and does something 'to you'. You refer to your vast catalog of immediate personal awarewness and you do not have awareness of anything `in you` that even remotely resembles upsets, guilts, fears, sins, hurts, pains, unhappiness, grief, etc. All you're currently aware of is your present mood and a handful of thoughts and that's about it.

So this person does something and all of a sudden, inside you there appears a big giant elephant made of guilt and fear. It feels terrible. It came out of NOWHERE! And because it was not there before, you're pretty sure that must mean the victimizer PUT IT THERE or caused it to be there. You don't even think it is YOUR upset. Everything about it is their fault because, if this whole scenario is the truth, and if this content was not in you previously, then obviously it MUST be their fault.

So this is our default ego reaction mode. Stuff just pops into our experience internally that we're convinced was not there before, and it doesn't feel good, so we blame its 'creation' on someone else - they are the cause.

So when you look at it, this all stems from the fact that you have a stinking heap of shit LURKING in your mind, OUTSIDE your awareness, unconsciously lingering in the background. Out of sight, out of mind. Its hidden behind denial and repression and suppression. It's covered over with layer upon layer of rejection and avoidance. And each layer of it conceals and hides even more deeper layers that you don't even realize are `in there`.

If it weren't for this unconsciousness, and if you were fully aware right now of the ENTIRE content of your mind, and if someone came along and 'did something to you', you would immediately know that NOTHING CHANGED. Your content was already there. All your guilts and hurts and fears were already there in your awareness and you were already experiencing them fully. The person did not add anything, so that means.... you know they are innocent.

Long story short.... you blame everyone and everything for your own experience of life because they keep causing your own stuff to come into your awareness and you FORGOT it was there, because you buried it and hoped it would go away. Other people come along to RE-MIND you - to get you to look at your shit and become aware of the stuff you DO NOT WANT, so that you will actually take productive steps to really heal it and undo your belief in it being true.

So everyone is just trying to help you. Everything is for your benefit. And for that you can be grateful.

Someday when you are done purifying your mind, releasing old pain, healing wounds and undoing all trace that anything even seemed to happen at all, you WILL be walking around in FULL awareness of all of yourself, because you will be awake. And you WILL know that everyone is innocent, and you will know that nobody can add to or take away from what is already in you.

Let's take a moment to recognize where we are AT, rather than where we think we should be. Although it may be increasingly obvious, in theory, what the truth is, it can be tougher to actually want to experience the reality of that truth. And most of us are still somewhat bound to wanting the things of this world, the body, and our sense of identity which is bound to it.

If we get honest, and put aside the intellectual theory, and look at what we are ACTUALLY doing, where our allegiance actually is, and the ways that we really do WANT things of this world still, we can at least be honest in admitting we don't want to wake up yet. We are resisting it, are unwilling to embrace it fully, and we want something else.

My own intellectual grasp of course metaphysics has become so revealing lately, that it even is starting to "scare" the part of me that does not want to accept it. I can understand how it is true and why it makes sense, but part of me does not want it. Does not believe it. Can't let go of the "something else" that I presently am attached to.

It can be useful though, if you are not willing to accept the truth, to at least admit that you don't want to accept the truth. Even if this doesn't mean you are going to suddenly change your mind and accept it, it at least does allow some light to enter, by "admitting" your present truth. And your present truth is that, while you are earnestly seeking God, you don't really want to be with Him, otherwise you would be.

This just means that we still have some work to do. Our minds still need training. We need to become willing. But generally speaking, moving towards the truth, when you are still bound to the ego, feels like approaching an enemy. It's like going towards something you do not want, something which threatens you, something which you don't trust.

I want to do the whole waking up thing, the miracles, the happiness, the love, but the fact is that right now, where I'm at, there is still a number of ways in which I don't want it. I'm still drawn to the body and the bodies of others. I still do not see with Christ vision. I still am afraid of God. I still avoid healing others. I still have grievances and losses. I still don't entirely trust the Holy Spirit or Jesus. I still want to keep the things of the world. I still believe the world is real. I still am scared by the idea that there is no world. And I still believe I am made of, identified with, stuff of the world which the course says does not exist.

I know that it's a journey, and over time there is progress. I also know that I gradually become more and more willing, and have progressed greatly in developing trust and letting go of fear. But I also know that where I am AT, versus what I understand the truth to be, are two different things. It's actually easier to grasp the metaphysics than it is to live it. And when I feel that my experience is lagging behind my understanding, it becomes frustrating.

This of course produces more guilt, to admit that you don't entirely want to ACTUALLY go there, yet. That you want to keep people imprisoned. That you want to keep suffering. That you still react to dreams as if they are reality. That you don't want to give up certain treasures, idols, experiences, pleasures etc. It makes it seem like you are doing everything you are not supposed to be doing.

I'm just sitting with this today. Just taking a break and being ego. Just acknowledging where I'm at, rather than the pressure of where I think I should be. Jesus reminds me "you are free". You can stay right where you're at if you want to, and when you're ready, he is there to help you move forward again.

"I will help you as much as you will let me."

"It is just because you are not ready to do what you should elect to do that time exists at all."

Sometimes when an old hurt is coming out, you'll start to project it onto someone else. It's kind of as if you switch on a movie projector, you fetch an old tape from your vault, load it up and press play. The movie starts to project and you start to see it and experience it. Except now it's mapped onto other people who probably were totally unrelated to causing it, which starts to make it seem like they are causing it.

As you project, you are kind of hurling the pain at someone else. Whatever the issue is, let's say you are angry at someone for how they treated you or that they acted a certain way that was hurtful. As this hurt comes up in your mind, it will find a target and project toward it. It actually tries to turn that person INTO the person that you are upset about, and you start interpreting their actions as though they're doing exactly what that person did.

And as you do this projecting, it's kind of like you are judging, condemning and attacking the person with this stuff. You're trying to turn them into this stuff, to fill the role. And for most people this actually influences them and may cause them to start acting in a way that fits the 'role' that you are projecting. And this makes it even more plausible that all of this upset is because of them.

In the midst of such hallucinations you can really get to believing that this person is doing this to you, and at the same time you are feeling the old hurt, and putting two and two together you think its because of them. But what's really happening is the person is just triggering your old hurt and you're not really dealing with it.

Whatever the person seems to be doing, it likely is similar to what someone else did in your past. Form-wise it may not be similar at all. It could be that the person has the same attitude, or reminds you of how someone was a certain way when around you, even though their physical behavior and appearance may be different. The psychological 'content' seems to match and this creates a connection.

In this state of semi-consciousness it's pretty hard to realize that this is what is going on, especially when you're convinced it's all to do with this other person. But what you're feeling is your own stuff, for which you are responsible, and this projection is just hurting the other person. You are accusing them of what you believe someone else did to you so that you have a way to scapegoat the energy and seem to get it out of your mind. Which doesn't work.

The only way is to realize that you are triggered, you are reacting, you are re-experiencing old stuff, it's nothing to do with anyone else, and you need to own it and heal it. Taking the burden off the shoulders of the other person is a good start.

In the Authority problem, there is a great reversal of roles, and a confusing of levels.

Jesus refers to this as being the source of sickness ("all sickness comes from confusing the levels").

He also says that miracles realign the 'levels of perception' into their proper order. Miracle principle 30:

"By recognizing spirit, miracles adjust the levels of perception and show them in proper alignment." - ACIM

What this means is, awareness is supposed to begin in God and extend outward, and any 'perception' you have is supposed to flow outward from God. Like, there is a level of perception higher than the physical level, and then there is a lower level of perception to which you are most accustomed. They are supposed to flow in the order/sequence of higher-flowing-to-lower. The light within illuminating perception.

When you have an authority problem, it means that down here in lala land you have turned around 180 degrees and now instead of facing outward extending God's love from within, you are effectively 'out of your mind', looking back toward God with the suggestion that there is nothing 'backing you up'. Your perception then seems to run against God's extension and collides with it head on. Mis-creation! You start to see yourself as the source of everything, with God as your opponent opposite you, to which you are now opposed, and as such you develop a sense of being an authority opposed to God.

It also means that when I have an authority problem, an ego problem, I will not be willing to lay down my ego and allow myself to be owned by God, I will not allow myself to extend God, I will not allow myself to love, I will not allow myself to let God be the authority, I will not allow myself to receive from God, I will not allow myself to follow God's guidance, I will not allow myself to listen to God, and I will not allow myself to surrender. Instead I stand against God in everything I do and try to go off and control everything all by myself.

This is the fundamental action of the ego, being opposed to God. This is why we think we have an authority that we do NOT have. And it is this false sense of authority that builds up as what you're familiar with - that sense of an 'inflated ego', or a sense of self that is righteous, or a sense of you being important in ego ways, or a sense of entitlement, or a sense of having power that you do not really possess, etc... all false idol worship and forms of ego trying to be in charge, in control, in power, ruler of the universe.

WE HAVE TO LEARN TO DROP AND REVERSE THIS ATTITUDE.

This is what I am learning now. The orders of perception are working against each other, and I have level confusion, and I am in sickness, precisely because I am functioning WITHOUT GOD. I am opposed to God and I need to surrender my 'trying to be God' position, turn back around 180 degrees so that I am flowing WITH God and extending WITH God, and I need to therefore ADMIT TO AND RECOGNIZE !!!!!!. .. that GOD is the one who is the authority here.

This is quite a powerful turning point. It means letting down all of those opposing ego attitudes in myself, learning to put them aside and to recognize that they interfere with God, learning that all love and POWER flows FROM God, that God is the one who is in charge, and becoming WILLING to ALLOW this to be true. It's really part of accepting the truth of the atonement - the truth that God is the primary authority. We can join him in it and SHARE in it, but we can't take it over and use it against Him or ourselves or others.

This is a complete flip, really, to the ego. My little ego is all hell-bent on being God, being a savior, fixing everyone, being a hero, being responsible for and carrying the weight of the world, and trying to be some kind of spiritualized exalted ego. This is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of the 'natural' "divine order". The divine order has me properly positioned as God's SON, extending His love, sharing in His creation, flowing His love, sharing His miracles. And that means, JOINING God in His kingdom, in awareness of His spirit, and facing the same direction as Him, flowing WITH His will, recognizing that His will and my will are One (that's an ACIM theme too), and that I can now share in God's truth and power and healing.

I cannot be a powerful healer, super spiritual hero, mega savior, ultra do-it-yourselfer conqueror. I T D O E S N O T W O R K ! :-) Try fixing something which absolutely cannot be fixed by you and you'll soon encounter just how flawed your fix-it power-over-everything attitude is.

The only way that works is turning around and getting aligned to, open to, accepting of, flowing with, and being with God's will and God's love. That's where miracles flow from. But it means you have to stop trying to do this all by yourself. You have to admit you cannot do ANYTHING by yourself. And it's true. And that means a) surrendering, b) admitting God is in charge not you, c) this opens the doorway to the RELIEF of FINALLY connecting with God and being willing to LET GOD WORK THROUGH YOU. Yay.

Here come the miracles.

The golden rule is the nature and law of God. In God, everything is equal and shared. What applies to one brother applies to all brothers. What is true of me is true of you. But even moreso, because brothers are ONE, they literally share identity and soul. I am in you and you are in me. We are part of each other. We are irrevocably joined and share everything, even our selves.

We can describe this as the golden rule, in which what I do to you I also do to myself. There is no option or clause that your brother MIGHT treat you a certain way. You treat your brother a certain way SO THAT you are treated a certain way, because you ARE him, and so you are DIRECTLY treating yourself how you would wish to be treated.

There are no exceptions to this and it is impossible to violate or break this law or be outside of it. It is always operating, whether you are accepting of it and living by it, or whether you are attempting to ignore it and pretend it doesn't apply to you.

If we are one, then I have a shared interest with you. Whatever I do to you I do to myself. Whatever I give to you I receive. Giving and receiving are one. If I were to attack you, I'd be attacking myself. Therefore, it's in my own best interests to ONLY LOVE, otherwise I will make MYSELF suffer, and by my own hand. I have to INCLUDE you, otherwise I will suffer from exclusion.

"Ego" is nothing more than an attempt to oppose, deny and ignore this law. It is an attempt to pretend that it does not apply. That I am not you and you are not me. That we are not equal. That what applies to me doesn't apply to you, because we are different. If we are separate, we not one, and now I should have my own selfish interests - survival of the fittest.

It's like, were both standing on the same floor. Then there is a separation, like an earthquake. The floor cracks in two. I now seem to be on one side, and you on the other. But also the heights of the floors have shifted, and mine is slightly above yours. The two floors are now separate and different and not equal.

This is the separation from God, the seeming split in the mind, which suggests that instead of us all being one, we are now two, split apart, separated off, isolated in our own private territories, and kept apart. We can't seem to share because we can't span the divide of the broken ground, and everything we do is separate.

On this basis of separation, or not being able to share, the breakdown in unity, the collapse of oneness, the arising of exclusion, and the seeming imprisonment on either side of the rift, we get the denial of the golden rule. It seems possible now that because I am not a part of you, and am separate and isolated on my own island, I can only now think of my OWN interests. What I do to myself is done to myself alone, and if I throw a rock over at you, it hurts only you and not me.

While I might believe that what I do to you is NOT done to myself, or what is true of you is NOT true of me, it becomes possible to enter this state where we're trying to get away with murder. It suggests I could attack you, and escape the consequences. I could do something to you which is not done to me. I could give something that I do NOT receive, because I am not INCLUDED in it, because I've become EXCLUDED from you. As though giving and receiving are not one.

So the whole ego system is all about this sense of being exclusive, separated off, not sharing, not one, unequal, different, disconnected, dis-associated, and isolated. Our whole belief then shifts to it seeming to be plausible that we can attack without being hurt, or we can accuse without being accused, or we can make someone be guilty to take the guilt off our own shoulders. That no matter what we cause, we can escape the effects. I can hurt you, and not myself.

So this is then what the ego does, all the time. IT HAS ONE MODE of functioning. It's all it CAN do, because it is ONLY the idea of separation. Its aim is to emphasize, enhance, increase, and deepen the sense of being separate, so that IT increases. That's it's only goal. To attack ever more strongly and cause ever more disruption in equality. It's entire existence DEPENDS on the continuation of this inequality, this rift between brothers, and this sense that you cannot share anything with anyone because they're separated from you.

If the two floors or islands were to meet, and reconnect, and level out, and become one single unified space again, the two brothers could be reunited, and all sense of inequality and difference would melt. And ALSO there would have to now be an acceptance of the golden rule, because if we are sharing everything, then what applies to me now also applies to you and vice versa. We are now the SAME. We are one. So I cannot do anything to you without doing it to myself.

The interesting thing is that even when we're in an ego state of believing that we ARE separate, and are not a part of others, the golden rule actually still applies. We can BELIEVE that we are attacking something "not myself", and we can BELIEVE that the effects are being felt ONLY by that other separate person, and we can BELIEVE that we completely escape any consequences for it, BUT WE DO NOT. Because there are dire consequences STILL operating, consequences which are SELF INFLICTED, which CANNOT be avoided.

If you attack another, you STILL attack yourself, because you STILL ARE them. If you hurt another, you ARE hurting yourself. If you try to destroy another, you ARE destroying yourself. You may not REALIZE that you are, because you think of yourself as PROTECTED BY THE SEPARATENESS, as if the prison walls keep you SAFE. And so you think that attacking someone makes you SAFER. But it in fact erodes your safety because the more you attack the more YOU become imprisoned and weakened.

"Exclusion and separation are synonymous. So are separation and dissociation. We have said before that the separation was and IS dissociation, and also that once it had occurred, projection became its main defense, or the device which KEEPS IT GOING. The reason, however, may not be as clear to you as you think. What you project you disown, and therefore DO NOT BELIEVE IS YOURS. You are therefore EXCLUDING yourself from it, by the very statement you are making that you are DIFFERENT from someone else. Since you have also judged AGAINST what you project, you attack it because you have already attacked it BY rejecting it. By doing this UNCONSCIOUSLY, you try to keep the fact that you must have attacked yourself FIRST out of awareness, and thus imagine that you have made yourself safe."

You cannot be strong without your brother. You cannot be happy without your brother. You cannot be healthy without your brother. You cannot be loved without your brother. You cannot be powerful without your brother. You cannot be free without your brother. You cannot be innocent without your brother. You cannot be holy without your brother.

So if you try to attack in any way, to produce the separation, to make yourself MORE separate, emphasizing the ways that someone else is an inferior evil shit that you hate and who should feel terribly guilty for being so wrong, YOU ARE accusing yourself of this. So you might ask yourself, "would I accuse myself of this?" You will think you're NOT accusing yourself because you don't see yourself as A PART OF the other person, but you are still doing it.

There is a HUGE COST to attempting to ignore the golden rule. The cost is that your mind becomes split, you become self-destructive and suicidal, you become alone and lonely, you become weakened and live in darkness, the world becomes a nightmare of conflict and war, you lose all sense of peace and happiness, communication breaks down and you become unable to relate to anyone, it makes you question whether you even exist, and you will try to destroy yourself. That's a pretty major cost for believing something that isn't true, as if it were real.

You DO have a vested interest, because when you attack you DO experience consequences, even if you do not REALIZE that you do. You may not recognize that every time you attack you feel worse. You may not recognize that when you hate someone you feel awful and guilty.

You may not recognize that when you accuse someone angrily of being guilty of something, to make yourself feel better, you increase your sense of being separate and small and weak and alone. Or that anger hurts your mind and body. You have to recognize what the consequences of attack ARE, so that you will decide that you do not WANT to be murderous anymore, because it actually is not REALLY in your best interests.

The golden rule always applies. It is never broken or violated. You can deny it. If you deny it you will suffer. If you deny it you will be confused as to why your life sucks, and you will probably blame it on someone else, thinking that they are not you, and that therefore you haven't blamed yourself. Everything you do you to do yourself and to all your brothers, to the entire sonship and to God. This is also the secret of salvation. You are INCLUDED IN EVERYTHING. And inclusion is ultimately love.

The idea that you are totally equal to God, is what's called the Authority Problem. Actually it's also the idea of sin. Some who think their relationship with God is to be "one" with Him, and thus completely equal with Him, are not understanding that God came FIRST. Or that oneness does not actually mean "you are Him".

He is the creator of you, you are not the creator of Him. He created the Sonship and you were created to ADD TO the Sonship. But you cannot create God or cause God or add to God Himself. That makes you "below" Him in a sense, or as Jesus says in the course, "the Father is GREATER".

It is also appropriate to have AWE of God because He IS greater and above you, and not to have awe of your brothers who ARE your equals. God is GREATER because He is all encompassing, and you are within God, as a part of God, caused BY God, as one of His thoughts, and He therefore spans more than just your own soul.

The idea that being one with him means total equality completely ignores these dynamics and suggests you are as much the creator of God as he is of you. And that unfortunately is where the tiny mad idea began, where you as an effect of God attempted to be the cause of Him, and where the entire ego thought system started. His Kingdom also cannot increase at all if you are God's exact equal because you and God would be in a deadlocked power struggle.

You have to be a son, in order to set up the dynamic that "A Son of a Father must have a Son", establishing God's fatherhood and your sonhood. And being like the father you too become a father, thus co-creator with Him. But your co-creatorship does not allow you to co-create God Himself, and yet God Himself does create you.

And so you are not equal to God in all ways and functions, but you ARE like Him in terms of mirroring the ability to create, IN ADDITION TO what already has been created BY Him. The notion that you have equal creative function with God is to suggest you are capable of creating yourself, and that is what the ego believes is true.

You can add your creations to His Kingdom, but you cannot overthrow the Kingdom itself. Nor can you attack or destroy what HE already created, that being yourself, your brothers, the Holy Spirit, and the angels. All of this "state of the union" is somewhat more elaborate than simply to say that "it's all just oneness", and it certainly is not compatible with an idea of non-duality which implies "no sons at all."

God has a family, and you are part of it. God is a creator with many creations and those creations have many creations and all of them co-create together. This is what A Course in Miracles teaches, not that we're all going to just dissolve into nothing, with no self and no creative function. God has established you as a free-willed co-creator forever.

In fact, if you weren't a SON of God and not God's equal, you would have INHERITED NOTHING, and would never be a HOST to God Himself. God GAVE you everything He had in your creation, thus extending His Self to you, sharing His will and mind and power, and establishing you as SHARER of his being. Because God is your father, you have an inheritance which is waiting for you to reclaim it.

"The world, in its original connotation, included both the proper creation of man by God, AND the proper creation by man in his Right Mind. The latter required the endowment of man by God with free will, because all loving creation is freely given."

"Think not He wills to bind you, Who has made you co-creator of the universe along with Him. He would but keep your will forever and forever limitless."

"My mind holds only what I think with God. That is a fact, and represents the truth of What you are and What your Father is. It is this thought by which the Father gave creation to the Son, establishing the Son as co-creator with Himself."

"Revelation is NOT reciprocal. It is always FROM God TO man (souls). This is because God and man are NOT equal. "

"This appears to contradict another statement: "I and my Father are one." It doesn't. There are still separate parts in the statement, in recognition of the fact that the Father is GREATER."

"The creative power of both God AND His Creations is limitless, but it is NOT in reciprocal relationship. You DO communicate fully WITH God, as He does with YOU. This is an ongoing process in which you SHARE, and BECAUSE you share it, you are inspired to create LIKE God. But in Creation you are NOT in a reciprocal relation TO God, because He created YOU, but you did NOT create Him. We have already stated that only in this respect your creative power differs from His."

"I have repeatedly emphasized that awe is not appropriate in connection with me (Jesus), BECAUSE of our inherent equality."

"The word "Awe" should be reserved only for revelations, to which it is perfectly and correctly applicable. It is NOT appropriately applied to miracles, because a state of true awe is worshipful. It implies that one of a lesser order stands before the Greater One. This is the case only when a Soul stands before his Creator. Souls are perfect creations, and should be struck with awe in the presence of the Creator of Perfection."

"Equals cannot be in awe of each other, because awe ALWAYS implies inequality. Awe is not properly experienced even to me (awe of Jesus). That is why in that short introductory vision, I knelt beside you, FACING the light."

"Your creations are your gift to the Holy Trinity, created in gratitude for your creation. They do not leave you, any more than you have left your Creator."

"He (God) does nothing last, because He created first and for always. It must be understood that the word "first" as applied to Him is not a time concept. He is first in the sense that He is the First in the Holy Trinity Itself. He is the Prime Creator, because He created His co-creators. Because He did, time applies neither to Him nor to what He created. The "last step" that God will take was therefore true in the beginning, is true now, and will be true forever. What is timeless is always there, because its being is eternally changeless."

Jesus refers in the course to sickness as "a magical solution". It's an attempt to solve a problem. The only problem is, this solution is mistaken, because it actually does something opposite to what the person thinks it will do.

If you are confused about what the truth is, you perceive the truth as something false or evil. You even will feel threatened by it. Then you will seem to defend yourself against it. And so you will erect defenses to push the truth away. The trouble is, truth life and health. So when you push it away, even on grounds that you think it is not truth, you are pushing life and health away. And this results in sickness. Even if you believe you have pushed sickness away.

"Sickness is a (mistaken) defense against the truth."

The person then ends up sick, using sickness as a defense, to try to protect themselves, to save their life, from the truth. But the truth is life, and what they're really doing is trying to save themselves from life. And this is why they've induced illness by mistake, thinking that they're inducing life. They've mistaken life for death, and have chosen death by mistake.

"Sickness is but a little death."

All this means is that sickness is a MISTAKE. It's what someone produces when they are MISTAKEN. They come to a wrong conclusion, based on a false belief or a wrong perception, and then seek to erect defenses that they don't even need, and try to protect themselves from something beneficial, believing that they'll be better off. There is no SIN involved here, it's just a matter of being very mistaken. A choice made on a false premise.

The form of sickness, even physical death, becomes nothing more than the outcome of someone's mind that is confused. It's the result of a creative person, a person who is powerful and making choices, who happens to just be making unwise choices, because they don't realize they are mistaken. They are confused about what is true, they are not entirely sane, and so they THINK they're making a totally sound choice and acting on it, when in fact they don't really recognize what they're doing wrong.

So now you've got a world filled with powerful creative minds, who are constantly choosing and creating, but who are confused. And so they keep creating mistaken stuff, stuff which hurts them, stuff which produces suffering, stuff which makes their bodies sick, not because they're inherently sinful or guilty or deserve it, but simply because they are mistaken about what things are. They don't recognize what is really true, and have made false conclusions, and now are choosing things which they think are one thing, but are another.

To be sick therefore is nothing more than a mistake in the mind. It just means the mind isn't really recognizing what the truth is, and has mistaken the truth for something false, and mistaken something false for something true. And now they're convinced that they are in fact pursuing the truth, all the time, except their navigation system is off because their truth-detector is faulty. And so they head towards death, thinking it is life. And hell is confused with heaven.

Everyone always protects what they believe is true. What is true is your treasure. What is true defines your identity. It's close to your sense of self. Of life. Of what you think is holy and pure and good and worth having. Truth is what you accept and allow and want. But if your idea of truth is faulty, if you are confused and mistaken, you will still have this attitude about your truth, except it won't really BE the truth in the big picture. But you don't know that, because you have mistaken something false for something true.

The simple confusion of what is true and false is the entire basis for people producing ALL of their own suffering. It's merely a mistaken choice. It's powerful creators mis-creating by mistake because they have not mastered their own creative power. And result is a world if conflict and suffering which the people are creating by mistake, being unmasterful of their abilities.

It's chosen by mistake, or in error. A wrong conclusion was arrived at. A faulty response was activated. Someone thought that a "magical solution" would work, when in fact it produced the opposite effect. And everyone who has chosen sickness thinks that they have chosen continuity and life. Even those who have chosen death believe they have chosen the preservation of themselves.

All suffering is just a mistake. Mistakes call for correction. They don't need judgement or condemnation or punishment. No-one needs to be kept suffering. No-one deserves to linger in torment. Or to be destroyed or killed. Even the most heinously evil-seeming person is merely a person who is very confused about what is true and false. They are just insane, lost, alone, frightened, uncertain, out of touch with reality, and making poor choices. They just don't know what the truth is.

This is why ACIM is constantly suggesting that we simply "choose once again". That we have made a wrong decision somewhere along the lines. A mistaken choice. Which has produced unfortunate effects, symptoms, conditions. And now we are suffering because we chose something on faulty grounds, without proper justification. And now if we don't want to keep suffering, we need to have a little willingness to be open to being mistaken, to recognizing that our idea of truth is faulty. To recognize that we just made a mistake and need correction.

Then we can be willing to not only open up to a greater truth, to accept atonement, but also to allow the Holy Spirit to undo the consequences that we came up with. The unfortunate "mis-creations", the side-effects of unwise decisions, the suffering we induced for ourselves due to being a confused creator. All we need is to become un-mistaken. To recognize our mistakes and receive correction. So that instead of being mistaken, we are correct. And when you are correct, you can cause nothing but immortality and happiness, based on truth.

"God's teachers choose to look on dreams a while. It is a conscious choice. For they have learned that all choices are made consciously, with full awareness of their consequences."

"Say to yourselves the following, as sincerely as you can, remembering that the Holy Spirit will respond fully to your slightest invitation:

I must have decided wrongly because I am NOT at peace.

I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise.

I WILL to decide otherwise, because I WANT to be at peace.

I do NOT feel guilty, because the Holy Spirit will undo ALL the consequences of my wrong decision IF I WILL LET HIM.

I WILL to let Him by allowing Him to decide for God for me."

Lately I'm noticing more and more often, I just don't want to blame. I'm believing in "real sin" less and less.

I didn't see this coming, and it's not that I've been deliberately working on not being blameful. But I'm starting to see why this makes sense.

When I blame, I am believing that there is some "other" that's not me, that I'm finding responsible for some kind of guilt or sin. This so-called other is actually a part of my own self which I split off in my mind and attack. This attack seems to cause a hallucinated projection onto other people, in which the disassociation from the "conscious" part of my mind makes it seem like it's all to do with someone else.

But the truth is that my attack is actually coming from me, and it is going TO me. And in fact, I am not even really attacking anyone else at all. I think I am, but I'm not.

In the ego's thought system of denial, it really does seem like it is not only possible to find someone else guilty for our own belief in our own sinfulness, but that they can receive ALL of the blame and we receive none of it. We actually think we can scapegoat someone and make them wrong and find them guilty and that this has NO effect on ourselves whatsoever. i.e. Do unto others as you would NOT have them do unto you.

This is of course a complete illusion. While it persists, we go around blaming people because we think that we CAN, as a viable "option" for getting rid of our own sinfulness. Introducing a separation between cause and effect, we think we can be free of the effects and responsibilities of our sin, and someone else can take the hit. And we want to make especially sure that the separation between both is strong so as to be strongly convinced no nasty effects are going to leak back onto ourselves.

But what has to dawn on our mind is not only that we are responsible for 100% of what we are experiencing, but also that everything that has happened we have therefore done to ourselves, and therefore there ARE no causes outside of us, and thus there are no grounds for blame.

This also reveals to the mind that while it thought it was capable of attacking someone "else" with no effects on itself, it actually WAS attacking itself. At first it will think that it was attacking both itself and others, but then it will also dawn that it was in fact ONLY attacking itself. In our egos we live in private worlds of self-attack, at war with ourselves, in our split mind with multiple personalities. It doesn't even really involved anyone else at all, we just pretend it does. When we are willing to become aware that we are ONLY doing it to ourselves, then a whole new kind of experience starts to emerge. This is what's starting to happen to me now.

I am getting this feeling that I just don't WANT to blame people for anything. I haven't deliberately been trying to stop blaming as such, it's just sort of emerging. Some part of me seems to be aware that if I blame, in the act of blame, there is an attack and that *I* actually receive at least some of the effects of that attack. It's not true that the other person is 100% separated from me, and it's not true that they are really guilty. If I am being responsible, it MUST mean that I am doing this to myself and am attacking myself.

So each time I go to scapegoat, i.e. pretend that I even CAN scapegoat, I'm starting to learn or realize that the "blame" is ACTUALLY from myself, to myself, and I WILL experience effects from that. I am becoming aware of those effects, rather than being unconscious of it. And the fact is, outside of denial, this self attack HURTS ME. I do not want to keep hurting myself. It is a natural response, really.

If you could be aware that you can ONLY do anything to yourself, and that if you attack, YOU will be the one who gets ALL of the effects, you would not attack.

It is only because we've been unconscious and split in our mind and believing that there is an "other" that all of the responsibility can be given to (disowning of self), that we even CONCEIVE of the idea of displacing blame onto this "other". Or even that doing so might cause us to NOT be experiencing the effects of the sin. It is only because of DENIAL that it even seems possible that this would be helpful in alleviating guilt.

So while I am in denial and am being dishonest and irresponsible and believing that i am really sinful, I'm going to be really compelled to try to split myself off from that and project it somewhere. But the truth is, I'm not escaping it. Self-attack is self-attack. Nobody else is even being attacked by me at all, so it's not even as though there is this motivation to "be nice to other people". My self-attack has NOTHING to do with anyone else at all, and in truth, NOBODY receives any effects from it. No real effects anyway.

So it's not even as though I'm doing this out of GUILT in relation to trying to be kinder to others. That would actually be a form of self sacrifice which is ego. Instead, it's just the natural dawning of AWARENESS, that because I am responsible, I literally AM doing unto MYSELF as I would have MYSELF do unto me. I am attacking myself, and it is my belief that I am really sinful that is the root of this attack.

So as we have the courage to look at our own belief in our own sinfulness, in the idea of "real sin", and are finding some genuine healing atonement for this, it seems like the truth that we are only attacking ourselves becomes more obvious. I just am becoming aware that if I attack, *I* will feel hurt, and I just don't want to feel that anymore. I don't want to keep finding myself sinful, because now it's not a game of whether or not anyone else is being forgiven (you cannot forgive anyone other than yourself, and there is no need to!), it's a game between me and myself now and how I want to be towards myself.

I don't want to blame others, because I don't want to blame myself, because I don't want to keep finding myself sinful and guilty. I am just losing interest in it. It hurts to hurt myself. I don't want that. This is how my interests become shared interests with others. This is what leads to literally doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, which really means, you are DOING LOVE to others BECAUSE you love yourself. You cannot really do anything to others unless it IS love, because everything else is really self attack.

So it's funny but, in situations where I would've gone right into blame and accusation and scapegoating, I just can't seem to believe my own bullshit anymore. I know its dishonest and irresponsible and denial and not true that it's anyone else's fault. Nobody has done anything to me. No-one is the cause of my upset. I am choosing it. I'm doing this to myself. And I want to stop doing that. I want to recognize my true innocence, and learn to love myself again.

Surrendering to self-love shared with God. I am worthy because in the atonement, it is true that I have not really done anything real, and therefore am still innocent. Accepting that produces a justification to love yourself.

On the level of the physical world, all objects and forms can never be perfect. This is sobering to recognize. It's actually because of the nature of spacetime.

In order to have space, or locations, it's necessary that something is in one location and NOT another. It's also therefore necessary that any given object LACKS what any other given object has. There is no real sharing, whereby two objects are literally one object. Everything is separated out, exclusive, unique, different and unequal.

This applies throughout this universe. It sets up a scenario where, in terms of a physical object, which includes planets and human bodies and toys and cars and houses and food, it is literally impossible to find perfection.

"It is the world you see that is impossible."

"The world was made that problems could not be solved."

"All its roads lead to death"

So now, as we enter this physical world, seen through false perception of the body's eyes, blinded by sight of form, we now seek to try to find "the perfect thing".

The ego presents objects as options, choices, and then asks you to choose between them. It does not ask whether you believe in the objects existing at all, it simply assumes they do exist and leaves you with the only remaining "choice" of choosing A OR B. This "either or" scenario is built into the whole ego thought system of spacetime. "Do you want to die this way, or that way?"

But the problem is, you are now left with two inferior, partial, temporary, incomplete, unwhole options. Neither of them ca be perfect because they both are lacking something. They both entail compromise. None of them truly mirror any kind of divine nature. They are all flawed.

So now the best you can do is choose between two flawed possibilities, where you know that to choose one you will lack the other. And committing to any of them is not fully possible with full satisfaction or certainty because to choose one is to reject something else, leaving you empty handed.

If you choose object A, you lack what object B has to offer. It drives you nuts trying to settle on what you want. You try to look more closely for signs that one thing is "better" than the other, to judge and evaluate its worth or value, as if its even possible for one of them to BE perfect.

Then after a lot of frustration and fear and uncertainty and lack of commitment and inability to trust, you "settle" for what you think is the lesser of two evils. It seems to be the best choice only because you're willing to accept its limitations and what it cannot offer you, which seems less of a sacrifice than the other choice. And so you "commit", reluctantly and in fear, crossing your fingers that it will be the right one.

The ego is playing this game all the time. It is literally impossible to be 100% satisfied with ANY choice the ego offers, because they are limited and lacking. And it would simply have you choose between two forms of death. And you think that by choosing the better of the two, you will defer death a little longer.

As you look at this, you'll find yourself trying to seek for this "perfection in the world". The perfect choice. The perfect option. The perfect car, perfect house, perfect body, perfect diet, perfect tv show, perfect city, perfect president, perfect whatever. Trying to find that one something that is completely whole and lacking nothing and utterly fulfilling and flawless. And there is NO SUCH THING in this world.

Anywhere.

I stumbled on this many times, particularly in terms of artistic projects and trying to come up with something that was perfect. My mistake was not recognizing the ways in which limitation are inherent to this world. I thought in terms of ideas, that some kind of perfection was POSSIBLE among the physical objects or physical choices or things I could create physically.

This would lead to tremendous frustration and blown-out expectations and procrastination and low self worth and being afraid of the judgement of others when they would find out how flawed and imperfect my creations were, implying my own imperfection. And this would just snowball into a huge amount of avoidance and shame and dysfunction trying to deal with this whole mess of "how will I achieve perfection". And this search for physicalized perfection is the spiritual ego, with its mantra, "seek and do not find."

It is much better to recognize when I am seeming to seek perfection at a FORM level, and to recognize the truth that ALL form is INCAPABLE of perfection. So for example if I am trying to create a piece of art, or some project, I have to realize there are built in limits as to what is possible. It cannot BE perfect, ever.

Limits have to be realistically set, there is only so much time and energy, there are only so many features, there are only so many design decisions, the object cannot ever be some kind of "miracle" that pleases everyone infinitely.

For example maybe I'm writing a book and getting hung up on how this book will "cover everything", how it will "talk to everyone", how it will be everything to all people. And then this becomes paralyzing, because as soon as you try to appease the myriad "forms" the ego presents, such as billions of disagreeing egos, it is now literally impossible to please them.

In any creative endeavor, any form of shopping, any kind of selection process, any decision making about your life or your time or where you will go or what you will do, if it entails the physical level at all it is far more productive and sane to "accept" that there are these limitations on this level. And to then simply work within those limitations, removing the sense of expectation or "wishful thinking" that form CAN BE anything other than it can be.

This means accepting that the world of limits IS fundamentally limited and limiting. And by that I don't mean to just settle for imprisonment, because of course we are meant to rise above these limits, break all the laws of physics, go beyond all boundaries and demonstrate "the impossible is possible." But in terms of the form level, it JUST IS a world of limitation and pretending it isn't really gets us in trouble.

There is one passage in ACIM where it touches on this with regards to why Jesus was not able to "perfectly" save or teach the whole world during his lifetime. The nature of the beast is simply that operating IN TIME AND SPACE, there were limits, and he had to be selective, and there was a plan and a goal and various things to be done and not others.

A physical life cannot truly embody unlimited infinity, nor can divinity be fully expressed at the level of the world. This is a world of partiality and lack and temporary differences, inequalities and flaws. It can never be immortal or perfect or holy or innocent or have eternal life or be whole. It lacks, because it is a picture of lack. We can work with it, or we can break its rules with miracles. But even miracles can't keep death while expressing life.

The world can only do what it can do. It's in its nature. It's a world of limits. It won't ever give you heaven or salvation or the attributes of God's perfection. Through true perception it can be seen as a reflection of God's perfection, but it cannot be it.

"Is he the Christ? O yes, along with you. His little life on earth was not enough to teach the mighty lesson that he learned for all of you. He will remain with you to lead you from the hell you made to God. And when you join your will with his, your sight will be his vision, for the eyes of Christ are shared. Walking with him is just as natural as walking with a brother whom you knew since you were born, for such indeed he is. Some bitter idols have been made of him who would be only brother to the world. Forgive him your illusions, and behold how dear a brother he would be to you. For he will set your mind at rest at last and carry it with you unto your God."

Heaven is vertically opposite to the Earth. Heaven is love, yet love has no opposite. The earth is the opposite to love and does not exist, hence "there is no world."

"Never was love in the world."

"The truth is simple; it is one without an opposite."

"There is no death because an opposite to God does not exist."

"Perfect love casts out fear. If fear exists, Then there is not perfect love. But: Only perfect love exists. If there is fear, It produces a state that does not exist."

The Earth is made of fear, guilt, and sin. It is an illusion. It is the idea of the opposite to love, and opposite to God. Yet, an opposite to love does not exist.

If you take heaven an earth and put them alongside each other, seemingly with a separation between them, you are suggesting that you can evaluate them as though comparable equals. This is dualistic, horizontal logic. Heaven’s relationship to the earth is NOT horizontal.

Heaven, love, God, creation, do not HAVE an opposite. They are ABOVE, on a higher level. Earth is BELOW, on a lower level. Their relationship is not horizontal, it is vertical.

Heaven is infinite. Earth is finite. Heaven is reality. Earth is illusion. Heaven is truth. Earth is a lie. Heaven is everywhere. Earth is nowhere. Heaven is all that exists in God. Earth is nothing that exists anywhere but in a fiction.

You cannot compare them like apples to apples. You also cannot suggest that if you remove the separation between them, then they will BECOME ONE. That would only happen in a horizontal logical comparison, which is how the EGO THINKS about oneness.

Compare them vertically, and what happens?

Vertically, because love has no opposite, it means:

1) There is no world. It does not exist ANYWHERE.

2) When the "real world" disappears, and the supposed "separation between heaven and earth" is dissolved, this does NOT mean that they blend together into ONE state that includes them both. IT DOES NOT. It means, that which was EVERYTHING REAL - heaven - is all that will be left. That which was NOTHING REAL - earth - will be recognized as ceasing to exist.

3) Earth is not a part of heaven. It never will be. There is no world. Not even the "real world" exists but as a dream. Dreams end and what was dreamed ceases to exist anywhere.

4) Earth does not "Translate into heaven" as a way for it to BECOME heaven, to be included in heaven, to turn into heaven, or to blend with heaven. What was thought to be there, as a world which DOES NOT EXIST, disappears entirely, being recognized. Jesus teaches "Illusions recognized must disappear", not "illusions recognized are kept and transformed into part of heaven."

5) The removal of the separation between heaven and earth does NOT MEAN that heaven ceases to exist afterwards. Opposition is the idea that exists only in the illusory earth. Heaven does not oppose. Heaven does not participate in the separation or in becoming one half of a duality. Heaven recognizes there is ONLY heaven. "There is no life outside of heaven." When the idea of separation disappears, the CONTENT OF THAT IDEA will disappear, which was entirely ONE SIDED! The ego’s opposition to Heaven was NOT part of Heaven’t opposition to the ego. Heaven does not attack or separate. Heaven is not a PART OF the separation idea. When the separation is undone, vertically, ONLY THE WORLD DISAPPEARS, NOT HEAVEN. What remains is ONLY HEAVEN.

6) This is the meaning of "nothing unreal exists" - the earth DOES NOT EXIST. Trying to find a way to make it continue to exist "in God" or "fused with Heaven" is DENIAL, based in fear. Heaven/God/reality is all that exists. Ego/separation/earth/illusions is UNREALITY and does not exist. Never do the two become one. Only one of them is TRUE. The world is FALSE. Never will "what is false" be converted into or kept or become a part of heaven or ANY state of oneness no matter what you call it or how you try to read into it.

7) There is no world. This is the central thought the course would attempt to teach. It is an extremely radical idea. It threatens the ENTIRE ego thought system. Resistance against it is the sum total of ALL of the resistance of the entire ego thought system. No-one with an ego wants to admit it is true. It means nothing in the world, no forms, no bodies, no pretty animals and rainbows, no lakes and mountains and oceans, no special relationships, no bodily relationships, NONE OF IT EXISTS.

That’s why this threatens so many people. Believing YOU are made of or are a part of the ego world (earth) makes you certain that IF it does not exist, NOR DO YOU. And that is interpreted like a threat of DEATH by the ego. And then the person will put up *defenses* against the truth, moving into sickness in an attempt to explain why the world is real and part of God’s creation. It is nothing less than the fear of death.

It takes WILLINGNESS to accept that this is true and that Jesus is literally telling us there is no world here at all. This is also why Jesus repeatedly says that "nothing you see means anything" and "the world you see does not exist". Literally, planet earth does not exist. NEVER will it be a part of heaven in any way under any circumstances or interpretations whatsoever. Love has no opposite. What is not love does not exist NOW, even if it’s showing up as a fake planet. And it will not begin to exist LATER, after the universe disappears.

Only love is real.