God's will for us is perfect happiness, all the time. Total safety, love, blessing, peace, joy, no problems, perfect health, invulnerability, miraculousness, innocence. The end of sadness, grief, pain, sickness, fear and death. God wants this for us all the time. Do we want this? Why aren't we happy and at peace right now?

If you ask yourself, as you experiencing what God wills right now, the answer is probably that you do not really want it. If we're honest, we're not in that state. So what must that mean?

If God wills that we be happy and we are not happy, we must not want what God wills. We must be WILLING to experience something opposite, something unlike happiness. That means we must WANT to experience being unhappy. We don't want God's love. This is reflected in:

"I must have made a wrong decision because I am not at peace. I made the decision myself..."

If I am not happy or at peace, I must have WILLED, chosen, wanted, to be unhappy. It was a mistaken and poorly-made decision, made in egotism. So now we are unhappy and are trying not to do God's will. And it isn't bringing us joy because we don't want joy.

So if we get honest, this means unless we are having that experience of perfection and joy, we DO NOT WANT God's will. Which equates to, we do not really want God either. It must mean that something in us actually doesn't want it, doesn't like it, doesn't believe in it, resents and rejects it, doesn't believe it deserves it, fears it, etc. The appropriate name for that something is "the ego".

We have to be willing to look at this. Somewhere in us, if we're not doing God's will perfectly all the time, there is a desire to suffer. There's a sense of animosity toward God. There's some kind of rebellion going on. There's this part of us that does not want to wake up, does not want to be free, does not want to do God's will, does not want to be happy and does not want what God is offering.

It's not a pretty thing to admit to. Either I want God or I don't. You can kind of feel the sense of "attack" that the ego in us has toward God. We've kind of left God in a way, pushed Him away and distanced ourselves from Him. This recoil into darkness has made part of our mind twisted and unwilling. We're going to have to seek out and remove these blocks to being WILLING to be aware of love's presence.

We might be saying we want awakening or atonement or forgiveness or God but if we're not experiencing it NOW, some part of us does not want it. We have the freedom to decide that, but pretending we're not doing that is just more denial. The ego in is us kind of disgusted with God, feels vengeance, holds grievance against Him, resents a perceived abandonment, feels guilty and unworthy of Him, and is really at odds with His will.

God's will is supposed to be shared with us, and is so supportive and rewarding, that there should be no reason not to want it. It showers us with blessing and our divine inheritance. It gives us eternal life, freedom from all suffering and death, and eliminates all nightmares. It makes us happy and at pace and invulnerable. Just as "forgiveness holds everything I want".

And even if we think we want something else, something not of God, we can't possibly genuinely really want it, deep down. And so we've accepted that we want something that we don't really want, as a substitute for God, knowing full well that "The Son of God cannot be happy unless he knows he is with God."

This is what the gap of separation is all about. There is this "distance" we have between our ego and God. And our egotism wants to maintain and increase that gap. It's a relationship problem. An unholy relationship between God and our sense of self. We actually need to "forgive God" and learn to trust Him again. And in order to do His will without seeing it as "what we don't want to do", we have to be fully willing to embrace it as entirely on our side, helpful to us, supportive of us and in our best interests. It has to match what we want.

Any egoic sense of not wanting what God is offering, is keeping us unaware of His love. We're like pouting children hiding in a corner not wanting to cooperate, even though our parent only wants to love and support us. We keep saying no to reality. We keep saying yes to a wide variety of other distractions and meaningless things that we think we want more. But all the idols of the world are set up to be artificial forms of meaning and value, designed to keep you turning away from God and wanting something other than Him.

If we're to be willing to do God's will, to go where he sends us, to heal as we let Him teach us to heal, to be truly helpful, then we need to look at these ways that we are denying the truth, blocking God from loving us, not accepting atonement and believing things that are various forms of attack. God loves us, and His will for us is completely positive and enriching. Our inheritance is tremendous. Are we willing to allow ourselves to be loved again? Are we really willing to let go of our protest against Life and resurrect into eternal happiness?

A brother is an equal sibling, who shares the same parent as you. Right? Yes.

So in order for there to be brothers, there has to be more than two children coming from the same parent, right? Yes.

When the children exist as brothers, does the parent become obliterated? No, of course not.

Does the fact that there are brothers, overthrow and undermine and attack the parent's existence? Not at all, especially given the parent created the brothers.

Who is the ultimate parent? Is it not God? Right? God is the creator parent of all that is.

If God is your parent, and you have brothers, your brothers are God's EQUAL children, right? Yes of course. If there is more than one son, then God's children are brothers.

If the term "brother" is NOT tied to God, then who is the parent of the brothers? Is it the ego? Is the ego your daddy? That would have to be true, because if God is not the parent God's opposite must be. Which is ridiculous.

How about God's supposed "one son". Are you are CHILD OF the one son? If you were, you and your brother would indeed be brothers. The one son is real, therefore so too are the brothers, because a real parent can only create real children. Just as an illusory parent creates illusory children.

How about we say your parent is the ego, and therefore you and your brother must be egos. This makes "brother" into a synonym for "the ego". And that means when the ego is gone, the brothers cease to exist at all. ie they are imaginary brothers. Or their brotherhood is a temporary illusion. And when undone, BOTH DISAPPEAR, leaving no child at all!

If that is true, then we MUST be claiming that, as ego brothers, who exist only due to "the separation", we have the ego as our creator. The ego must be the parent of whatever the brothers are. And brothers can't be brothers without a shared parent.

Nowhere in ACIM does it EVER say, that brothers are the children of the ego. Never. And it would be ridiculous to do so.

It DOES SAY, many times over, that brothers are children of GOD. And what that has to mean is, that God MUST not only have multiple children, but also that brothers is a term for REAL created beings who are permanent, not children of the ego, and not children of the separation.

So in ACIM, every reference to "your brother", is talking about THE SOULS that God created, who are many in number, necessarily more than ONE, and AT LEAST TWO, so that they can BE brothers, and share the same parent who is God.

And because God is a REAL parent, his children MUST be real as well. Meaning that, ... unless brother means "son of the ego", brother MUST mean REAL CHILDREN in reality, in heaven, with God, many in number. ie God has multiple sons.

This is simple enough accurate reasoning. Either your brother is a child of the devil or he is a child of God along with you. And you'll be very hard pressed to find references in the course to your brother being anything less than holy, innocent, divine, a co-creator with God, and your total equal IN HEAVEN.

"Brother", therefore, in ACIM, refers solely to the SOULS in heaven that have eternal life, ***are many in number***, and who share the same parent - God. And this automatically means God has many sons, not just one in number.

Jesus even states on multiple occasions that your brother is a CO-CREATOR with you and with God. Which is only possible in heaven, therefore making brothers permanent real beings, a heavenly multitude, the sum of which we call "the sonship". Aka. "God's family."

"Will you behold your brother? God is glad to have you look on him."

"Heaven is the home of perfect purity. And God created it for YOU. Look at your holy brother, sinless as yourself, and let him lead you there."

"Perhaps you come in tears, but hear Him say, "My brother, Holy Son of God, behold your idle dream, in which this could occur," and you will leave the holy instant with your laughter and your brother's JOINED with His."

"You could no more know God alone, than He knows YOU without your brother."

"Whenever you heal a brother by recognizing his worth, you are acknowledging his power to create and yours."

"And therein lies your need to see your brother sinless. In him is Heaven."

"It is impossible to over-estimate your brother's value. Only the ego does this."

"The Son of God extends his hand to reach his brother, and to help him walk along the road with him."

"For you will realize that the ONLY value that the body has, is to enable you to bring your brothers TO the bridge WITH you. And to be RELEASED TOGETHER there."

"You will not remember that you are co-creator with God, until you learn that your brother is a co-creator with YOU."

"You do not know YOUR creations, because you do not know your brothers who created them with you."

"When the Atonement is complete and the whole Sonship is healed, there will be no call to return, but what God creates is eternal. The Holy Spirit will remain with the Sons of God, to bless THEIR creations and keep them in the light of joy."

The kingdom of God is ultimate reality. This side of the gate of heaven/separation, we're in the perceptual realm of spacetime.

At the height of this perceptual state, perception can become very "accurate" and line up with reality so closely that you perceive things "as they actually are", also referred to as "the real world."

Jesus refers to this as you making "reality contact", as well as "accurate perception", "true perception" and various other things like forgiveness, atonement, vision, reason etc.

Basically in order to see and be aware of "how things actually are", we have to have a mind that is not insane and does not attack or distort or deny or hide from reality.

We avoid reality in various ways. Attack, denial, resistance, fear, scapegoating, hate, sense of separation, selfishness/self interest, specialness, body identification, unwillingness, dissociation etc. Basically all the ego activities.

All of these activities are ways to try to "avoid" reality by squirming and sidestepping and being unwilling to just FACE IT DIRECTLY. To admit to it, to ALLOW IT to be what it is.

By reality here I don't necessarily mean the physical contents of spacetime, because that's all illusions. But reality is something where you have to be completely PRESENT, aware, fully alert, extremely honest, and completely lacking in any form of denial.

Your mind can't be distorting what's there, having preferences, wishful thinking, wanting even the physical forms to be different, hoping for a non-existent future, dredging up the past, wanting something to be different to how it is etc.... otherwise you don't directly face "what is".

In order to face what is, regardless of whether that seems to be the physical world's current PRESENT configuration in the NOW, or the general sense of presence and nowness that is the "now of time", symbolic of eternity ... you have to give up all of the ways that you avoid the truth. Another word for that is surrender.

And this doesn't just mean an occasional surrender. It means a state in which you are no longer FIGHTING, no longer at war with, whatever is. It means no longing judging or attacking reality, or attacking the present. No longer living in the past or future. The only physical world that exists is the configuration of the one that exists right NOW, not the past or future version.

An unwillingness to admit to or accept "what is now", takes you away from the present state and into every dark avenue of the ego. The ego is literally an attempt to escape from reality, to escape from the present. And that means putting up a fight against reality to try to make it go away, to avoid it, to deny it, to destroy it.

So ultimately it takes you getting into a state which we might call "being totally surrendered". This surrendering literally asks of you to surrender the fight against God, to stop being at war with the present or the illusory contents of the world. No longer wishing that things were different, no longer being unwilling to accept WHATEVER happens on this level, and no longer having any kind of separation or denial between you and what is.

Essentially this leads to acceptance, in which you're willing to "let things be", and can accept the truth of the atonement. Strangely it requires you to also be able and willing to accept the current state of the physical world, but only because it happens to be in front of your face. Really you are entering an acceptance of the present moment, regardless of whether it's filled with content forms, and the acceptance is not tied to the physical at all.

To accept atonement therefore is to accept reality, to accept the truth, to accept God, to accept that only the truth is true and nothing else it true, to accept that there is no past, to accept that only the current configuration of the world is there anymore, and to have absolutely no ways in which you are trying to avoid or deny or prefer something else.

So we have to get into a totally surrendered state, a state where our war with reality and life and truth comes to an end, where the mind is totally focused and accurate in its perception, avoiding nothing, hiding from nothing, not minding what happens no matter how it looks, having no reaction whatsoever to anything that would suggest you "don't want it" to be that way. Just completely dropping all ego and all resistance and all insistence on making things be different than God's will.

In that totally surrendered state you are awake and ready to return to God. It is the only way to find peace because it's the end of YOUR one-sided ego war. And only by total acceptance can you enter the Kingdom.

"Miracles are examples of right thinking. Reality contact at all levels becomes strong and accurate, thus permitting correct delineation of intra- and interpersonal boundaries. As a result, the doer sees the truth as God created it. This is what is meant by the point on "perspective adjustment." UrT1B31A

"The term "right-mindedness" is properly used as the correction for wrong-mindedness, and applies to the state of mind which induces accurate perception." UrT3F10

"Misperception is a BLOCK to knowledge, while ACCURATE perception is a stepping-stone TOWARD it." UrT4G1

"You ATTACK the real world every day and every hour and every minute, and yet you are surprised that you cannot SEE it." UrT11I1

"Remember, then, that God's Will is ALREADY possible, and nothing else will EVER be. This is the simple acceptance of Reality because only this is real. You cannot DISTORT reality and KNOW WHAT IT IS. And if you DO distort reality you will experience anxiety, depression, and ultimately panic, because you are trying to MAKE YOURSELF UNREAL." UrT8J16

"This is Palm Sunday, the celebration of victory, and the ACCEPTANCE of the truth." UrT20A1

"The full acceptance of salvation as your only function necessarily entails two phases; the recognition of salvation as your function, and the relinquishment of all the other goals you have invented for yourself." URW65L1

"And the world awaits your glad acceptance, which will set it free." UrW310W104

"The ACCEPTANCE of peace is the denial of illusion, and sickness IS an illusion." UrT9I14

"Now let the peace that your acceptance brings be given you." UrW80L5

"You but emerge from an illusion of what you are, to the acceptance of yourself as God created you." UrT24C14

"Christ waits for your acceptance of Him as YOURSELF, and His Wholeness as YOURS." UrT10E8

"Salvation requires the acceptance of but one thought; you are as God created you, not what you made of yourself." URT93L7

"I choose to testify to my ACCEPTANCE of the Atonement, NOT FOR ITS REJECTION." UrT13H3

"The ego analyzes; the Holy Spirit ACCEPTS. The appreciation of wholeness comes ONLY through acceptance, for to analyze MEANS to separate out." UrT10F14

In A Course in Miracles there are at least TWO levels on which Jesus speaks, because there are TWO stages in awakening.

There is the level that you relate to as an individual self, waking up to your higher self.

Then there is the level of the entire sonship waking up to the Christ self.

The individual self projects illusions ONTO the dream world which the Christ self is dreaming.

That means, the individual self undoes itself by taking back its projections onto or about others, and forgiving itself. This leads to awakening as the Higher Self. One son in the sonship. People wakening to this level generally do not express many miracles and will still die in a body. Examples: Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie, Mooji, various Hindu yogis etc

But then there is more. Christ is beyond this. Christ is the dreamer of the physical world and is the maker of it. And Christ has full power over all of it. At this level the body is completely dissolved and disappears, which Jesus demonstrated.

These two levels have led to a rift in the ACIM community. Those who relate only to the individual awakening try to shove everything Jesus teaches into that box and make it fit. This results in the complete disempowering of supernatural miracles and a redefinition of them as just corrections in perception. That's not what Jesus means by miracles at all.

Miracles are at the level of the Christ mind overriding the dream that the Christ mind is dreaming. And that means, overriding all of the physical laws that the Christ mind is sustaining as the way this world operates. Such miracles are beyond the nature of the physical world (dream), they are SUPER-NATURAL. Everything Jesus says about miracles relates to the mind of Christ, not to the mind of the sonship.

These two levels in awakening (sonship vs christ) are the entire reason why there is a community rift, why some people believe that the Course is only asking us to change our misperceptions about a pre-existing world, to accept peace in the presence of sickness, to become peaceful or have true perception "about" the world. And the Course DOES want us to do this - it's the first stage in awakening. BUT THERE IS MORE.

Stage 2 entails waking up as Christ and demonstrating supernatural miracles all over the place, knowing that you made sickness and death and can abolish both. This is also the level on which Jesus teaches "there is no world" - this is the level where this is LITERAL, because the physical world is a dream.

Those who attempt to smash all of Jesus's teachings from all levels onto ONE level, result in a tremendous amount of confusion and delusion and limitation and closed-mindedness about what the Course is teaching and what it means. This produces a "sanitized" course, void of real miracles, void of anything supernatural, and void of the power to change anything or to stop or reverse death.

Certain statements Jesus makes are directed at the second phase of awakening to Christ, and make no sense at the first stage. Assuming there is only one stage or only one awakening is a huge mistake.

This is something I was very confused by for a loooooong time because so many people are also confused by this and just assume the Course has a single truth pertaining to a single level of experience. Jesus is speaking of at least 3 levels - the false ego self projecting ONTO the world, the Higher Self which is awake IN the world, and the Christ self which has awakened FROM the world.

Knowing when Jesus is talking about a specific CONTEXT or a level of AWARENESS or IDENTITY, is very important in properly discerning what He means, what He is referring to, and how it makes sense in the bigger picture. Most ACIM students are lost in believing that the Course has 1 level, that you should just change your mind about the world and find some way to be at peace with it, and then stay in the world and die and be hurt like all the rest of the world. That's WAAAY falling short of what ACIM is teaching and is a bastardization of the Course (by the ego, no doubt).

For example:

"The world you see does not exist." "There is no world"

This is at the level of CHRIST. It is LITERAL at this level. The physical universe does not exist and it has no power over you and you can change it in any way you see fit because it is your dream. You have that power.

If you interpret this at the level of an individual Son in the sonship, as an individual self, in a body, you will interpret this to mean that the "world" is your interpretation of the world, about the world, projected onto the world, and that you need to correct that "perception" in order to wake up. Well, NO! This is wrong. You need to correct perception but this only leads to the undoing of perception, NOT the undoing of the making of the world. This belief is a level confusion.

Another example:

"Seek not to change the world but seek to change your mind about the world"

At the level of CHRIST, this means your mind has power over the world and CAN change the world any way that it sees fit for any reason, because the Christ mind is the one that is dreaming it and LITERALLY can perform "physical miracles".

At the level of the personal mind, this is MIS-UNDERSTOOD (because it's being applied at the wrong LEVEL and it thus level confusion) to mean that you should only change your mis-perceptions of the world, self and others, in order to come to awakening to truth, and that's it... no power over the world, no power over physical matter, no ability to stop the dream or change it, really a form of resigning oneself to a state of "accepting the world as it is", which is a state of POWERLESSNESS AND VICTIMHOOD. It is a TRAP!

Recognizing the levels is very important to avoid these mistakes, but because these mistakes are made prolifically, MANY MANY MANY course students are very confused about what Jesus teaches and what the Course is teaching.

I think half the battle with all this spiritual development stuff, is even being able to recognize what stuff is.

Like, for years I had a lot of fear and anger and I did not even know I had it. I didn't recognize that this 'thing', this sensation, was actually either of those. I was sitting on a volcano and didn't even realize it. Someone could've said that I was constantly in fear and I would've denied it.

Similarly when I'm being right, I don't recognize it AS being right, I think it's something else. I think I'm justified or defending myself or being truthful or whatever, I don't correctly associate that what I'm doing is being right.

Sometimes it takes a while to recognize that this 'thing' you've been doing or feeling all this time, actually has a "label". Then you're like, you mean THIS is .... that?

We have trouble recognizing things for what they are, because we're deceived by illusions. We don't even recognize them AS illusions, we think they are reality or truth. We're walking around as if we're already awake, already in reality, already knowing what the truth is, and yet being very deceived, heavily in denial, and unaware of the whole picture.

Sometimes I find I have to even redefine for myself what the 'meaning' of something is, because what I thought it was isn't encompassing enough. Like, to recognize I am trying to be right... it doesn't strike me as trying to be right, it's most like, I'm defending my ego, or I'm putting up defenses... not quite what I'd think of as being right, but it is.

It's because we don't recognize illusions for what they are that we're unconscious. But coming to recognize them and SEE them correctly, brings awakening. If we could only see that this illusion isn't real and hasn't really happened, that there is no ego and no death, we'd laugh at how silly we were to ever take it seriously. It's only our lack of awareness and clarity that keeps us in the dark.

Half the time that I need to do a forgiveness I don't even recognize that I need to do a forgiveness. It could go on for days before I realize, oh, I guess I could do a forgiveness on this. lol

We get there eventually.

"Having been restored to your original state, you naturally become part of the Atonement yourself. You now share my inability to tolerate the lack of love in yourself and in everyone else, and must join the Great Crusade to correct it. The slogan for this Crusade is "Listen, Learn, and Do."

This means Listen to My Voice, Learn to undo the error, and do something to correct it.

The first two are not enough. The real members of my party are active workers. (Urtext version of T-1.III.1:5-6)"

Are you willing to be an active worker in Jesus's plan of atonement, working miracles for others and lifting your brother into awakening? Or are you only interested in undoing the error for yourself?

This is perhaps a major distinction in the course community. Those who listen to the Voice for God and undo error, versus those who did this but also then 'take it to the people' with expressions of love and miracles. Jesus says he wants us to be miracle workers for others and not just for ourselves.

"Having been restored to your original state, you naturally become part of the Atonement yourself. You now share my inability to tolerate the lack of love in yourself and in everyone else, and MUST JOIN THE GREAT CRUSADE TO CORRECT IT."

Does this not mean, that you must now actively help others to awaken? That you would naturally want to do this because you love your brother so much? That you would ACT upon this love and express and extend it to others, even intervening for them with miracles (miracles intervene for their holiness). If you truly are in a place of love, then you will become part of the atoning principle, the atoning 'plan' for salvation, of which Jesus is in charge, and then you will be a part of helping to awaken your brother. It's not a crusade like a conquest or war to 'attack' the ego, but rather to heal and help others to be restored to their natural condition (divine health, perfect mind) and to demonstrate and be an example of the truth, sharing it with everyone. It is a calling, to be a representative of God here, while the illusion persists.

For a long time I thought that if I would just SAY what the truth is, or 'get it intellectually', or be able to describe it, or have the right insight to put some pieces of the puzzle together, then I would .... achieve some kind of goal.

But, really... this never achieved anything other than worshipping metaphysical logic and becoming 'right' about it.

How many times do we really need to explain how and why this illusion all happened, or how the ego operates?

Being able to understand The Course doesn't mean I am now experiencing God. In fact it's quite the opposite.

Understanding the course maybe paved the way to realizing that... understanding the course doesn't bring peace, or God, or love. Knowing what it SAYS isn't the same as experiencing what it points to.

I've had some pretty lofty states of 'consciousness' or at least, high states of very abstract thinking, which I always thought were the way to access the truth. But it's not. Because this is just the ego mind trying to reach up to Holy Spirit's mind to get a taste of it... and because ideas return to their source there is an inevitable 'snapping back' out of it and back into mundane thinking.

What has to happen is this intellectual ego mind has to give way and be seen for the limited device that it is. It cannot and will not ever accomplish an experience of truth. It can only comment about it. It is removed from truth, because it is based in .... at the very least, symbols, if not a further layer of symbolism layered on top of that as words.

Thoughts and words don't make you be with God.

Transcending this ego-intellectual mind and going to be in a different mind, the mind of God/Holy Spirit, is what gets you to experience God.

You have to get out of the ego mind, out of the intellect/intelligence of the ego, out of the ego's thinking ... even if it seems to be very lofty course-focussed thinking. Ego thinking about the Course is NOT an experience of the truth!

We need to let go of this ego mind and all its activities and open up instead to a different mind, level 2 mind - the Holy Spirit's mind, shared with God.

The very first level confusion occurs when we as Sons of God attempt to "cause God".

Whenever an effect, or a lower level, attempts to cause effects in the very cause that caused it, ie a higher level, that is level confusion.

The first level confusion was the separation from God itself.

God is cause. God creates and produces effects. We are his creations/effects.

As effects, effects do not cause the thing that caused them.

Sons of God do not have the ability to cause God. If they did, and this is what the whole separation is about, this would mean that we can produce effects in God and therefore change God. If they were to do that, they would be capable of destroying the very causal power which maintains their own existence, which is impossible.

There is a cause-effect distinction between what is God and what is a Son of God. God is "first cause". Sons of God are His effect. His Sons have been given the ability to cause ie create in God's likeness and their own, but they do not have the ability to actually cause anything other than this.

When Sons of God attempt to cause something unlike God, or something which goes against the freedom of will granted by God to extend love, "fiction" happens. A dream of impossibilities. Make-believe worlds and pretend bodies. That all comes from wishful thinking. And it's all a level confusion.

The attempt by the Son of God to cause His Father, to produce effects in the father, is the idea of sin. To make God change and be attackable/hurtable/modifyable is the very idea of sin. It is also the same thing as the authority problem - believing we have power to will against God's will.

So the very moment we entertained this tiny mad idea of being separate from God, it was an idea of being able to cause effects in God and therefore usurp his will. This was the first act of level confusion.

Every single thing that takes place inside the egoic dream of impossibilities and death, is also level confused. Absolutely every part of the ego is level confused. It is all entirely an attempt to reverse cause and effect. It is all a belief in magic and victimhood. And it is all impossible.

I had a pretty intense talk with God last night.

I began to commune with God and called to Him.

He said, "My Son".

I asked first, "Am I going to have to experience death of a loved one in this lifetime and be alone?"

He said simply, "How can you? Death isn't real."

I opened up to Him and I said, "Father, please forgive me for I have sinned".

He said, "I already have."

and "I never condemned you."

I asked, "You never ever condemned me? I've never done anything wrong ever? You're not going to punish me?"

He said, "How could I? It's not in my nature. I can only love."

I responded, "You're not going to send me to hell?"

He said, "It doesn't exist. You made it up."

I asked, "Then, why is it that I don't see to be experiencing that?"

He said, "You just haven't accepted it yet."

I wondered, "why is it that I don't accept it? does that mean I don't want it?"

I looked within and saw a rather uncomfortable fact that some part of me must not WANT to accept the truth. That some part of me doesn't believe in it, rejects it, has chosen against it and seems to want something else.

It was not pleasant to see that the full responsibility for this "non-acceptance" was in myself.

I told God that "I am afraid to accept it, but it feels good to connect with you, how can I accept this more?

He said simply, "Remove blocks to awareness."

I was feeling very open and awake. I then felt a very strong sense of attraction throughout my whole person. A strong pull that felt like it was pulling me toward God, like a magnet or a vacuum as though something was so extremely appealing and attractive that my whole being wanted to rush to it.

I had tears and then I had laughter. And then I felt joy. Holy Spirit then said "sleep". And so I slept.

It's quite sobering to realize that God is not in any way a punisher or judger or condemner, does not send anyone to hell, and lovingly accepts us fully. And that it is entirely OUR belief to the contrary that we need to correct - our own unwillingness to accept His benevolent nature.

And... a real avoidance of MIS-CREATION. Which means not having the kinds of thoughts which are destructive. ONLY having constructive creative thoughts of life and resurrection!

What Jesus is clearly saying is that you can't just go on through life using thought idly, like some kind of ineffective "commentator" on life, as if it can just chatter away in the background with no EFFECT on anything. You have to become fully responsible for ALL YOUR THINKING. ALL THE TIME.

This means learning to have CREATIVE THOUGHT which has the POWER to raise the dead and heal the sick and move mountains. MIND has this power. Miracle working therefore entails the USE OF HIGHER THOUGHT to EXPRESS AND BELIEVE and and commit to, WITH CONVICTION, the powerful ASSERTION OF LIFE, which causes life to be given.

"Miracles mean life, and God is the giver of life."

We have spent our whole lives using THOUGHT to destroy ourselves and others. The world has not been the problem. Our feelings have not been the problem. The body has not been the problem. It's always been WHAT YOU ARE THINKING.

We have to learn to think in a more heavenly way. We have to have HIGHER THOUGHTS. Thoughts we think with God, or closer to God. Thoughts of strengthening, of innocence, of wholeness. Thoughts of the true nature of another. Thoughts which AFFIRM AND REINFORCE AND INCREASE their happiness, wholeness and health. Thoughts that uplift and bring light. Thoughts of POWER which DEMAND there be life.

Miracle working is in the USE OF THOUGHT, the application of thought, using the power of God which is inherently present WITHIN all higher thoughts. All thoughts of love and all loving thought expressions are communications and prayers. They are the expression of your will. WHAT YOU WANT TO HAPPEN. This is the power of the mind. The power to be the CAUSE of everything you experience and elect and decide.

"The resurrection is the denial of death, being the assertion of life. Thus is all the thinking of the world reversed entirely." "Thus does the miracle undo all things the world attests can never BE undone. And hopelessness and death MUST disappear before the ancient clarion call of life. This call has power FAR beyond the weak and miserable cry of death and guilt."