"Having been restored to your original state, you naturally become part of the Atonement yourself. You now share my inability to tolerate the lack of love in yourself and in everyone else, and must join the Great Crusade to correct it. The slogan for this Crusade is "Listen, Learn, and Do."

This means Listen to My Voice, Learn to undo the error, and do something to correct it.

The first two are not enough. The real members of my party are active workers. (Urtext version of T-1.III.1:5-6)"

Are you willing to be an active worker in Jesus's plan of atonement, working miracles for others and lifting your brother into awakening? Or are you only interested in undoing the error for yourself?

This is perhaps a major distinction in the course community. Those who listen to the Voice for God and undo error, versus those who did this but also then 'take it to the people' with expressions of love and miracles. Jesus says he wants us to be miracle workers for others and not just for ourselves.

"Having been restored to your original state, you naturally become part of the Atonement yourself. You now share my inability to tolerate the lack of love in yourself and in everyone else, and MUST JOIN THE GREAT CRUSADE TO CORRECT IT."

Does this not mean, that you must now actively help others to awaken? That you would naturally want to do this because you love your brother so much? That you would ACT upon this love and express and extend it to others, even intervening for them with miracles (miracles intervene for their holiness). If you truly are in a place of love, then you will become part of the atoning principle, the atoning 'plan' for salvation, of which Jesus is in charge, and then you will be a part of helping to awaken your brother. It's not a crusade like a conquest or war to 'attack' the ego, but rather to heal and help others to be restored to their natural condition (divine health, perfect mind) and to demonstrate and be an example of the truth, sharing it with everyone. It is a calling, to be a representative of God here, while the illusion persists.

For a long time I thought that if I would just SAY what the truth is, or 'get it intellectually', or be able to describe it, or have the right insight to put some pieces of the puzzle together, then I would .... achieve some kind of goal.

But, really... this never achieved anything other than worshipping metaphysical logic and becoming 'right' about it.

How many times do we really need to explain how and why this illusion all happened, or how the ego operates?

Being able to understand The Course doesn't mean I am now experiencing God. In fact it's quite the opposite.

Understanding the course maybe paved the way to realizing that... understanding the course doesn't bring peace, or God, or love. Knowing what it SAYS isn't the same as experiencing what it points to.

I've had some pretty lofty states of 'consciousness' or at least, high states of very abstract thinking, which I always thought were the way to access the truth. But it's not. Because this is just the ego mind trying to reach up to Holy Spirit's mind to get a taste of it... and because ideas return to their source there is an inevitable 'snapping back' out of it and back into mundane thinking.

What has to happen is this intellectual ego mind has to give way and be seen for the limited device that it is. It cannot and will not ever accomplish an experience of truth. It can only comment about it. It is removed from truth, because it is based in .... at the very least, symbols, if not a further layer of symbolism layered on top of that as words.

Thoughts and words don't make you be with God.

Transcending this ego-intellectual mind and going to be in a different mind, the mind of God/Holy Spirit, is what gets you to experience God.

You have to get out of the ego mind, out of the intellect/intelligence of the ego, out of the ego's thinking ... even if it seems to be very lofty course-focussed thinking. Ego thinking about the Course is NOT an experience of the truth!

We need to let go of this ego mind and all its activities and open up instead to a different mind, level 2 mind - the Holy Spirit's mind, shared with God.

The very first level confusion occurs when we as Sons of God attempt to "cause God".

Whenever an effect, or a lower level, attempts to cause effects in the very cause that caused it, ie a higher level, that is level confusion.

The first level confusion was the separation from God itself.

God is cause. God creates and produces effects. We are his creations/effects.

As effects, effects do not cause the thing that caused them.

Sons of God do not have the ability to cause God. If they did, and this is what the whole separation is about, this would mean that we can produce effects in God and therefore change God. If they were to do that, they would be capable of destroying the very causal power which maintains their own existence, which is impossible.

There is a cause-effect distinction between what is God and what is a Son of God. God is "first cause". Sons of God are His effect. His Sons have been given the ability to cause ie create in God's likeness and their own, but they do not have the ability to actually cause anything other than this.

When Sons of God attempt to cause something unlike God, or something which goes against the freedom of will granted by God to extend love, "fiction" happens. A dream of impossibilities. Make-believe worlds and pretend bodies. That all comes from wishful thinking. And it's all a level confusion.

The attempt by the Son of God to cause His Father, to produce effects in the father, is the idea of sin. To make God change and be attackable/hurtable/modifyable is the very idea of sin. It is also the same thing as the authority problem - believing we have power to will against God's will.

So the very moment we entertained this tiny mad idea of being separate from God, it was an idea of being able to cause effects in God and therefore usurp his will. This was the first act of level confusion.

Every single thing that takes place inside the egoic dream of impossibilities and death, is also level confused. Absolutely every part of the ego is level confused. It is all entirely an attempt to reverse cause and effect. It is all a belief in magic and victimhood. And it is all impossible.

I had a pretty intense talk with God last night.

I began to commune with God and called to Him.

He said, "My Son".

I asked first, "Am I going to have to experience death of a loved one in this lifetime and be alone?"

He said simply, "How can you? Death isn't real."

I opened up to Him and I said, "Father, please forgive me for I have sinned".

He said, "I already have."

and "I never condemned you."

I asked, "You never ever condemned me? I've never done anything wrong ever? You're not going to punish me?"

He said, "How could I? It's not in my nature. I can only love."

I responded, "You're not going to send me to hell?"

He said, "It doesn't exist. You made it up."

I asked, "Then, why is it that I don't see to be experiencing that?"

He said, "You just haven't accepted it yet."

I wondered, "why is it that I don't accept it? does that mean I don't want it?"

I looked within and saw a rather uncomfortable fact that some part of me must not WANT to accept the truth. That some part of me doesn't believe in it, rejects it, has chosen against it and seems to want something else.

It was not pleasant to see that the full responsibility for this "non-acceptance" was in myself.

I told God that "I am afraid to accept it, but it feels good to connect with you, how can I accept this more?

He said simply, "Remove blocks to awareness."

I was feeling very open and awake. I then felt a very strong sense of attraction throughout my whole person. A strong pull that felt like it was pulling me toward God, like a magnet or a vacuum as though something was so extremely appealing and attractive that my whole being wanted to rush to it.

I had tears and then I had laughter. And then I felt joy. Holy Spirit then said "sleep". And so I slept.

It's quite sobering to realize that God is not in any way a punisher or judger or condemner, does not send anyone to hell, and lovingly accepts us fully. And that it is entirely OUR belief to the contrary that we need to correct - our own unwillingness to accept His benevolent nature.

If you're like me, you probably regard your "self", whatever sense of self you have as "me", this self that seems to perceive and have emotions, as being NOT the ego. And you probably regard the ego as something tucked away in a dark corner that surfaces once in a while, something that you don't think of as "being" all the time. Surely your general day-to-day "self", that you refer to as "me", is not the ego?

But what if the entire sense of who you've regarded yourself as this whole time, who you call by your name, including all your emotions and egoic thoughts, all sense of a self that can suffer in any way, IS the ego? And what if that is not real, and your entire sense of being this self that suffers and feels unhappy and can be hurt is not really the real you?

Jesus hints that our personalities are superficial...

"The surface traits of God's teachers are not at all alike. They do not look alike to the body's eyes, they come from vastly different backgrounds, their experiences of the world vary greatly, and their superficial "personalities" are quite distinct."

In truth we're supposed to be experiencing a state of immortality and perfection where we are permanently happy, unaffected, invulnerable, incapable of suffering in any way. Our real self cannot suffer or die, or cannot suffer loss, cannot grieve, cannot be upset, cannot be unhappy or lacking peace in any way.

ACIM tells tells us that "Happiness must be constant" and "God's will for me is perfect happiness" and "Reality is a constant state" and "Immortality is a constant state." If your happiness is meant to be constant, how is it possible that you EVER experience unhappiness? It also tells us that we cannot really suffer, and whatever is experiencing the suffering cannot be my self. As if we have a sort of imposter self, a second self, that we've identified with as who we are, but isn't who we really are.

"The self you made is not the Son of God. Therefore this self does not exist at all. And anything it seems to do and think means nothing."

"The self you made, evil and full of sin, is meaningless. Your sinlessness is guaranteed by God, and light and joy and peace abide in you."

"I am in the likeness of my creator. I cannot suffer, I cannot experience loss, and I cannot die." Also lesson 248 says "Whatever suffers is not part of me. What grieves is not myself. What is in pain is but illusion in my mind."

Șo if "I" seem to be having upsets of any kind, unhappiness, sadness, loss, grief, guilt, shame, fear, anger, anything that isn't constant permanent joy, that "stuff" cannot really be a part of my real self. My real self cannot suffer and cannot be unhappy. My real self cannot experience any kind of loss or deprivation or guilt or anything less than perfection.

So if that's true, then what is this self that seems to suffer? And I don't mean some remote hidden ego, I mean the very self, out in the open every day, that you think of as "you" this whole time. On a daily basis, going through life reacting to things, having upset emotions, feeling horrible about stuff, being unhappy, perceiving threats, etc. It's way more out in the open and much closer to "you" than you might have realised. You're being it every single day.

This "you" that you're being, this you that suffers and is unhappy and has grief and anger and so on, that experiences any kind of suffering, THAT is ego (being identified with ego). Or more accurately, who you are has identified WITH a "suffering self", and you see yourself AS IT, as a self that suffers. A self that can feel hurt, a self that has pain, a self that grieves losses, a self that can be in fear or guilt. When "you" suffer, ego is suffering, and YOU are believing IT is who and what you are, as if it is YOUR suffering.

Somehow there has been a mixup, where you currently find yourself "constantly" experiencing various problems and reactions and upset feelings, thinking that these feelings are a part of yourself, that it's even POSSIBLE for you to have such feelings.

How can an immortal perfect loving constantly joyful being ever have even the slightest unhappiness as a part of themselves? They can't. So it then begs the question, this "self" that seems to suffer, which is the combination of your mind plus a false identification WITH ego/body/suffering, can it really be who and what you are? Is this suffering self really you? Can YOU really suffer at all?

This you that you've been all your life and think of as normal, that has emotional reactions and instability and fears and guilts. Can this possibly be a part of yourself as God created you? Jesus says that you cannot suffer and you cannot die. He says you cannot be unhappy and you cannot experience loss. How if you are experiencing loss and are unhappy, is that really YOU that is experiencing it? Or are you experiencing a false sense of self identity, bound to some kind of egoic construct, that sees "itself" (yourself) as even capable of suffering?

If I am having grief and loss for example it feels like "I" am grieving, and I have the feelings, and I feel unhappy, and I have the emotions and I have the cries and I am the one who has had a loss. But this can't be true. My mind can't bring an "end" to the loss by trying to "get over it" as an ego-identified self, but it can dis-identify from that which believes in loss, and that indeed will end it.

So if there is a feeling of loss, it has to be false, and it cannot be a part of myself. If I feel like, or experience it like, "I" am the one who IS IN the loss, HAVING the loss, then I have identified with something that can't be a part of myself in truth. My real self cannot ever lose anything, because nothing real can be threatened.

In such a suffering situation it means my so-called "ego" is not tucked away hidden from sight in the background, it's something I am actively BINDING to and see myself as IN, like I'm wearing it, and have identified WITH it, as if I am trying to be ONE WITH IT, living out from it every second of every day.

And that puts it right in front of my face and even closer than that. It's lurking in plain sight in the very sense of false "self", in the sense of "I am suffering". That it's ME that is suffering. That's my identification with something false. God-given mind, believing falsely.

That's pretty eye opening because no longer does it mean that the ego is some background figure that rears its head occasionally. Even if it is, identifying WITH AND AS it, trying to BE an ego, binds me to it and makes me experience life as though I am suffering. I am the one who is feeling, I am the one who is upset. Only ego can be upset, and if I am UNITING with ego I will be upset as though it's my own upset. And that leads to unconsciousness - spiritual sleep.

So if we ask ourselves, who or what am I, and if there is a feeling of upset, can this feeling of upset really be a PART of me? Can it be mine? Can it possibly be me that is really suffering, if it's impossible for my constant divine self to suffer, ever? If who I really am can NEVER suffer in any way, how can I BE something that suffers, and how can the suffering be truly mine?

It then frames your egoic emotion reactions, yours stresses, as not really yours. How can these upset feelings be yours? Yes you are identified and "one with" the ego self that suffers and who sees itself as capable of suffering through its false narrow perception, but this is a false association. IT's suffering cannot be YOUR suffering unless your sense of identity is confused with it. We don't just have a little ego in the back of our minds, we are actively holding onto it and trying to BE it and regard it as us!

So now it brings into question, whether we should be distancing ourselves from, detaching from, whatever seems to be suffering, and from suffering itself. If we have upset feelings in any way, perhaps we need to be telling ourselves, these feelings are NOT a part of me, I cannot suffer, and therefore I cannot be having these feelings. I'm not having these feelings. And we must have chosen to have them if we've put them there.

That seems pretty radical, to just regard all upset emotions and sickness and suffering as impossible and not a part of you.

"No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision. No one suffers pain except his choice elects this state for him. No one can grieve nor fear nor think him sick unless these are the outcomes that he wants, and no one dies without his own consent."

If we are meant to be fully identified with and as immortal spirit, then we need to shift our identification away from this "suffering self". We can't BE a self that suffers if we are permanently holy. We can't be a self that is vulnerable and attackable, or frightenable, or capable of being guilty, or of experiencing loss and grief. Whoever or whatever is having that stuff, it can't be me or mine. And if it's there and I'm immersed in it so much that I feel like "its mine", I am unconscious and have identified with ego, and have forgotten who I am.

And that really brings into question, who are you really? Perhaps you are being FAR more ego than you thought. Perhaps every single day you are immersed in egotism and suffering and unhappiness. Perhaps your whole sense of identity is lost and wrapped up in living AS an egoic entity, seeing yourself as having emotions that are impossible in reality, as having forms of suffering that cannot affect your soul.

Perhaps you are much more ego-identified than you ever thought possible, and perhaps your whole sense of self, of who and what you are, is much more out of touch with your real self than you thoughts. Perhaps your real self is on some whole other level or dimension, and perhaps this self you're being every day is the self that is the "not me that lurks in the dark corner". To your real self, made of light, your everyday suffering self IS trying to be an ego. Who you have become, is not who you are.

Are we ready to identify fully with spirit, stop seeing ourselves as capable of suffering, bringing into question ALL ego emotions and reactions, and even questioning whether we are the self that we thought we were all this time? What if you are not you, and you are not being yourself right now, and you don't even know who you are?

"There is no statement that the world is more afraid to hear than this: I do not know the thing I am, and THEREFORE do not know what I am doing, where I am, or how to look upon the world and on myself." Yet in this learning is salvation born. And what you are will TELL you of Itself."

Lately Holy Spirit has been starting to push me to do things I don't think I can do by myself, or that I don't believe would be a good decision.

I was not going to eat pizza, claiming that it would congest my sinuses too much. He said, eat the pizza. I ate the pizza. It wasn't a problem.

I was not going to buy a dairy ice-cream for similar reasons, and he suggested it was okay, so I did it, and I had no symptoms.

Today, I was tired and emotionally wrought after some release and healing, and I didn't want to go to the store, but needed some stuff. Holy Spirit said, "go!". So I went. And I didn't go based on my own belief that I would be able to rely on myself, but based on the belief that because He supports it, I WILL be able to go. I had FAITH!

And as I went, I exclaimed that I will go and I will shop and I will be fine because I will be infused and sustained by the power of God, I will be filled with his strength, and I will have no problems. And as I got to the store, I could FEEL the presence of a strong, light, joyous energy in me, and not only did I have no problems with tiredness etc I even felt open with other customers, seemed to attract people who were laughing and happy, and generally felt supported. I even believe there was an angel there who showed up as a man... sometimes I can tell, and that man spoke to me about bananas, and it was funny and it was all good.

So this is what I am finding now. There are certain things that I believe are true of the "natural world" based on the ego's natural laws. But then, there is God's will, God's power, and His SUPERNATURAL strength. And as you step out to do things which push you beyond your natural boundaries, and which go out on a limb, and which you could only do IF you had God's strength to support you, then knowing that you do and inviting it to do so, God DOES come to support you in supernatural ways! That means you are walking with God.

And so I am learning, more can be done through me and by me IF I have God with me. There is a power that can work through me. There are goals that I can achieve which I could not achieve alone but which are achievable because God rushes in to make them so! Ahhhhhhhhh.

"I am sustained by the love of God" - ACIM

"God goes with me all through the day" - ACIM

This doesn't just mean I have a buddy to talk to, it means if I will step out and take a risk and go beyond the ego's laws, God's Will be done!!!

Can I get an amen?!

I have almost as much trouble figuring out how to forgive something now as I did years ago when I started the Course.

When the ego comes up with some problem, it seems to be just as confusing and just as obscuring and distracting. I still seem to have to 'start out' the forgiveness process in a state of blindness and ego allegiance and in the midst of a learning difficulty.

Each time a new lesson comes along, you can bet it's just as 'new' to me as lessons that I learned a long time ago. As the next layer of the onion pops into my awareness, it's just as confounding and unobvious and difficult to deal with as the last one was to begin with. Its a new challenge. A new deception. And when this is happening, it seems that everything I have supposedly 'learned' about ACIM is thrown out the window and I can't even remember how to do a basic forgiveness.

This can make it seem as though I have made no progress whatsoever, because each time a new lesson pops up its back to square one. I can accumulate an intellectual understanding of the Course and evolve my grasp of the metaphysics over time, but when it really comes down to 'how well can I apply it', not a lot has progressed. I know I have gotten better 'skilled' at it if you will, but each challenge is still challenging.

I guess this is because there is simply a lot of 'work' to do, a lot of correction needed and a lot of stuff to sort out. The sorting out can take a long time, and just because you already sorted out 15 boxes of junk and 3 boxes of 'keepers' doesn't mean the next box of junk is any easier to decipher. Here I am, still shoveling shit.

Its not glamorous. It's not what the ego wants or expects, preferring to 'make a constant upward climb' in really noticeable ways. It's not something the ego can master like, some course you can take where you master a module and move on. You're having to constantly reapply the same learning and find ways, in seemingly very real new situations, how to transfer your learning to this new scenario. It's always difficult. And the ego is always resisting doing it just as much if not more than before. It's an ongoing struggle.

Someday I presume the pile of shit will reach the bottom and there won't be any more shit to shovel. Till then, you gotta keep on digging your way out and finding that extra ounce of willingness and extre desire to open up to Holy Spirit and develop more trust. It does get better over time, but it never fails to amaze me how each new lesson is just as much as hassle as the last. There's a lot of layers to the ego onion.

"It should especially be noted that God has only one son, yet ALL HIS CREATIONS ARE HIS SONS, every one must be an integral part of the whole Sonship. The Sonship in its oneness transcends the sum of its parts (T-2.VII.6:1-3)."

Although it leads by saying God has one son. It follows by telling us that God has MANY creations. And that therefore, it logically follows, that ALL of those creations must be PART OF the one son. ... that ALL of God's creations have the same characteristics, being made in HIS LIKENESS. They all share the same holiness, the same innocence, the same mentality, the same love. Yet there are many.

And because they are SO ALIKE AS TO BE IDENTICAL, yet still MANY... all of them together are "the sonship", and because oneness transcends separation the sonship as a whole is more than the sum of its parts. God + sons + angels + heaven + whatever else is all one big oneness, yet still SOMEHOW has multiple parts to it.

"WE are creation; WE the SONS OF GOD. We seem to be discrete, and unaware of our eternal unity with Him. Yet back of all our doubts, past all our fears, there still is certainty. For love remains with all its Thoughts, its sureness being theirs. God's memory is in OUR (many) HOLY MINDS, which know their oneness and their unity with their Creator (W-pII.11.4:1-5)."

CLEARLY... "oneness" does not mean "just one by counting". We do not understand oneness. Oneness means SHARING AND EXTENSION. Oneness must be shared, it must extend, it must CREATE. This is how even "the one son of God" was created in the first place, because truly if there was ONLY ONE ONENESS, there would ONLY BE GOD, and there WOULD NOT BE A SON!

Oneness creates by extension of itself, and must extend in order to exist. Therefore, it HAS to create a son, and the son has his own creations, and God HAS to create many sons. Yet they are one.

When our EGO tries to understand how this is possible it becomes confused and it makes no sense, because THE EGO CANNOT UNDERSTAND GOD. It is simply something we have to accep is true, and TRUST that because Jesus has shared this information, IT MUST BE TRUE.

There are many sons of God, there are many minds that God created, ALL of them together is "the son ship" or what, TO GOD, is experienced as "ONE SON".... referring to the grand inclusive "experiences them all at once" kind of experience, knowing their equality and sameness, as though they are all identical, AND YET... He has created MANY BY NUMBER, somehow. In a way that we cannot possibly understand or get our head around, because numbers imply separation and bla bla bla bla bla.... NEVER will get this. It has to just be accepted as true, trusting that Jesus is telling us the truth.

The line about miracles not being spectacles comes from miracle principle #10 or #11 depending on where you look.

The full context is this:

"10. The use of miracles as spectacles to INDUCE belief is wrong; or, better, is a misunderstanding of their purpose. They are really used FOR and BY believers."

or

"10. A miracle is a reversal of the physical order because it brings more love to the giver and the receiver.

(A miracle is misunderstood when it is regarded as a spectacle.)

11. The use of miracles as a spectacle to induce belief is wrong. They are really used for and by believers."

So really Jesus is talking about the fact that receipt of a miracle requires belief to be present in the person who is receiving the miracle. Jesus is teaching about how the recipient has to want and be ready to accept a miracle without fear, otherwise they cannot be healed. "The fearful are not healed and cannot heal".

So if we are using a miracle to try to "cause" someone to believe, this isn't really going to work and the miracle isn't going to work, because the person has to believe in some way in the first place, already. Without a willingness to receive and accept it, the giver can't give it.

This is really the only way in which Jesus cautioned against spectacles. The focus isn't even on the miracles being spectacular. Whole topic of the miracle principle is talking about how both giver and receiver have to have belief, and so trying to make the miracle "produce" belief by like "putting on a show", misunderstands what miracles ARE and how they work. Which means that IT IS NOT POSSIBLE to use miracles as spectacles. They DO NOT WORK when the person doesn't believe already ie has a willingness to claim the miracle for themselves.

It has nothing whatsoever to do with telling you not to perform miracles, or for your miracles to not be spectacular, or for them to be hemmed in by size or scale or intensity or effects, or to be limited in any way, or for one to be more difficult or to fit into the hierarchy of illusions in a different way.

He is merely telling us that the way miracles WORK entails cooperation, not coercion. And that is all.

He also comments "A miracle is misunderstood when it is regarded as a spectacle." - in other words, it is only when a miracle is REGARDED AS a spectacle, that it is being MISUNDERSTOOD. Which means, referring to miracles AS SPECTACLES IS A MISUNDERSTANDING. It does not mean miracles aren't spectacular or big or literally moving mountains, it means they are being INTERPRETED incorrectly. This interpretation is once-removed from the miracle itself, and it is the interpretation of "spectacle" that is BLIND to the fact that both parties must have been consenting.

Go tell Moses to stop parting the red sea. He wasn't doing it to show off.

I suspect that miracle impulses are not mere "urges" or "compulsions" to love, but rather I suspect they are actual "pulses" of an energetic expression, like a ball of light or a little spark of life force which a person transmits. And I think these pulses can be expressed/created by loving minds and transfer to others, causing instant healing.

I had one experience of this. My wife was very angry about something and yet, the night before I had been sending her a lot of love. So I was in a very open loving space. And as I looked at her and loved her, I felt a little pulse of concentrated energy shoot out of me and go into her. Instantaneously she went into laughter, the angry mood was immediately gone, and she said "don’t make me laugh!". I hadn’t done anything but shine love and it seemed the "impulse" that shot out of me had a miraculous healing effect on her mind.

ACIM says:

"Miracles are a spark of life."

"Miracles are energizers."

"Miracles mean life and God is the giver of life."

"Miracles are *expressions* of love."

"Miracles are thought creations."

"Miracles are thoughts."

"The Holy Spirit is the mechanism of miracles."

"Miracles arise from a miraculous state of mind."

These to me suggest that "a miracle", an impulse, is a kind of created "spark of life", like a ball of energy or life force, which is created by a loving mind and transfers to others. Upon receipt, this acts like a drop of detergent. As Jesus says it "breaks up erroneous thought". This "miracle" pulse is like a droplet of healing.

"Miracles fall like drops of healing rain" is, I think, NOT metaphoric. They are actual droplets of healing power. Drops of life, which supply the lack of life and thus produce resurrection and reversal of sickness and all symptoms of love’s absence.

As expressions of love, it is not enough to say a person is simply radiating love. Rather, that the love literally generates a force that "travels" in the "form" of a love spark, which induces instant healing upon receipt. The eyes of Christ give birth to them. They are many in number and unlimited in supply. They are a power surge.

I have only experienced this impulse once. One time that I was loving enough - really pushing the envelope. I imagine that these impulses just naturally erupt like extraneous sparks from a light-filled person. I could be wrong but I have no other explanation.

As ACIM says, miracles cause healing, they are not the healing itself. They are a remedy. Meaning they are applied to something to cause effects. They entail a GIVER and a RECEIVER, which means something goes out of you into another. They happen naturally when you are loving. You emit them, like little thought creations, little ideas of love and healing. They are transmitted and render a service to another upon receipt.