I think half the battle with all this spiritual development stuff, is even being able to recognize what stuff is.

Like, for years I had a lot of fear and anger and I did not even know I had it. I didn't recognize that this 'thing', this sensation, was actually either of those. I was sitting on a volcano and didn't even realize it. Someone could've said that I was constantly in fear and I would've denied it.

Similarly when I'm being right, I don't recognize it AS being right, I think it's something else. I think I'm justified or defending myself or being truthful or whatever, I don't correctly associate that what I'm doing is being right.

Sometimes it takes a while to recognize that this 'thing' you've been doing or feeling all this time, actually has a "label". Then you're like, you mean THIS is .... that?

We have trouble recognizing things for what they are, because we're deceived by illusions. We don't even recognize them AS illusions, we think they are reality or truth. We're walking around as if we're already awake, already in reality, already knowing what the truth is, and yet being very deceived, heavily in denial, and unaware of the whole picture.

Sometimes I find I have to even redefine for myself what the 'meaning' of something is, because what I thought it was isn't encompassing enough. Like, to recognize I am trying to be right... it doesn't strike me as trying to be right, it's most like, I'm defending my ego, or I'm putting up defenses... not quite what I'd think of as being right, but it is.

It's because we don't recognize illusions for what they are that we're unconscious. But coming to recognize them and SEE them correctly, brings awakening. If we could only see that this illusion isn't real and hasn't really happened, that there is no ego and no death, we'd laugh at how silly we were to ever take it seriously. It's only our lack of awareness and clarity that keeps us in the dark.

Half the time that I need to do a forgiveness I don't even recognize that I need to do a forgiveness. It could go on for days before I realize, oh, I guess I could do a forgiveness on this. lol

We get there eventually.

"I and my Father are One." "I am as God Created me" "Let me remember I am one with God." "Let me remember God created me."

Last night I had an interesting experience. I was focusing on love and God and feeling His presence. I somehow managed to become "high" enough with love, that I formed some kind of connection with God. Like a bridge. And in this connection it suddenly occurred to me that I am LIKE God, in that I was filled with love and God is also filled with love.

In seeing this it become very joyfully obvious that I am just LIKE my father. We have the same NATURE. And because of this likeness, I felt a very real sense of BEING HIS SON, due to the fact that I am "just like Him". It implied instantly that I must have come from Him, because both of us were exactly alike. It was so obvious. It was the first time that I ever felt this dynamic of recognition that I MUST be His Son because I am the same as His nature. Almost as if to say I look like Him, if He had an image.

I also realized that this only was possible because of the presence of love in me, at a significant enough level, to be able to equate with God like this. And I could also see that previously the lack or absence of love had been too strong to be able to see this. It is no wonder that I feared God or thought God was not like me or was not love, because I was too distanced from His nature to really recognize that we have something in common.

This also made me realize how much I do not really know who or what I am, because only when I identify as love am I really being what I really am. At other times when the love is not in my awareness I literally have lost touch with who I am and who God is and seem separate from and unlike Him.

I enjoyed the experience of "being just like God" for a while, even if it was only a slight hint of what's to come. It was enough to be able to sense that, because I am so alike God, I MUST BE HIS.

Nothing real can be threatened. It should not possible to threaten anything, anywhere. Yet here there is seemingly a world, which is filled with things which can seemingly be threatened. Somehow it has been arranged that there are objects which can collide, obstacles to hit, explosions to damage things, and all manner of weapons to attack with.

But how can there be one single ounce of attack if nothing real can be threatened? What can this world be made of that it can seem to be attackable? Surely it must be that the attack is not really attack, and nothing actually is hurt, and it's all just a big illusion made to look like such things are happening? How can any of it be a real attack if attack is not possible?

Jesus says in the course that there is no safety in the world. He also says bodies can clearly attack bodies. He also says problems were made to not be escaped. He also says you are immortal and cannot die but you can confuse yourself with things that do. He also says the world has no safety to offer, everything visible will perish, and everything you built has the mark of death upon it.

So what is this world, where there is no safety, riddled with problems, everything can be attacked, and the seeming impossibility of "attack ability" seems to be rampant?

If you look you'll notice that everything physical in this world seems to be attackable. Nothing is truly protected from anything. Anything can attack anything. The myth of safety on the level of form is everywhere, the desire to avoid physical attack, injury, harm, death, sickness etc. Yet none of these things should even be possible.

If reality cannot be attacked at all, and there is nothing else, if there appears to be something else that is attackable it cannot be real attack ability. It has to be some kind of deception, formed from the very same fabric as the rest of reality, in which strange shapes, appearances, images, concentrations of thoughts, temptations and so on, are made to look "as if" attack is possible.

So one person kicks another person in the leg. Has there been an attack? Not in reality, for sure. So whatever this is, it must be some kind of strange twisting of make-believe images, hallucinations, warped to make it "appear" that not only does something attackable seem to exist, but it has indeed attacked and been attacked. But no matter how it appears, it cannot be true that attack is real, has happened, or that anything is truly harmed.

Any sign of harm MUST be some kind of extraordinary smoke and mirrors deception. Any hint of damage to anything must be an illusion of death pretending to exist. We don't have anything to make the world from other than our thoughts. The same thoughts that we create eternal life with. The same mind. What do we make the world with except our mental processes?

"You maintain the world in your mind with your thoughts"

"I can be attacked by nothing but my thoughts"

Therefore you use thought to attack thought, in the form of a giant thought in the shape of a planet. Or a body.

The laws of spacetime, the made-up physics, largely governs the "workings" of this illusory world, what makes it possible for it to seem as if materials can attack materials. It's all set up fundamentally to make it seem as if attack is possible. The world was made to try to prove sin is real. And it was made as an ATTEMPTED (and failed, impossible) attack on God. "It is the world you see that is impossible."

Real attack must be impossible. It simply cannot actually be attack. It must be a lie, a deception, an unreality. It cannot really be there. Nor can it have real consequences. Nor can it be irreversible in its effects. Nothing about it can be permanent. All attack is an illusion in a dream of death. The world is nothing but a disguise over the truth, and nothing about it is true at all.

"The body needs NO healing. But the mind that thinks it IS a body is sick indeed!"

This is a difficult one to accept. To suggest the bodies needs NO healing, is not an attempt to make it "ok" that bodies are in "conditions" of sickness. It's not saying that "you should not heal the body" or attempt to be free from the physical manifestation of symptoms. Instead, it's saying that really, the body isn't the CAUSE of the problem and isn't the source of what's showing up as wrong with it.

The only real issue is the mind. The mind is the only thing that can be sick. For example Jesus says somewhere that "only perception can be sick". A sick perception projects its sick twisted mental conditions onto the body and confuses itself with the body, thus twisting the body into unnatural configurations. The body itself is nothing but a MIRROR IMAGE, reflecting the mind's condition. "The mind makes this decision as it makes ALL decisions responsible for the condition of the body."

The body makes NO decisions about its health. "The body is not sick, nor does it need healing" says the same thing. The body APPEARS sick, and seemingly "is sick", but the sickness is being PUT THERE by the mind. Since mind is the cause of the problem, fixing the EFFECT (the body) directly is only going to rearrange furniture. The mind is quite capable of re-manifesting the same or different sickness at a later time. It's like trying to fix a leaking tap by collecting the water, or trying to fix an overflowing bathtub by fetching a mop. Until the source 'tap' is switched off the problem will regenerate.

It's difficult to accept this is true because the BODY in its physical appearance is quite a convincing illusion. If you can SEE, feel, touch, forms of sickness or damage.. if you can see the wounds, if you can see the cancerous lumps, if you can have sensations of the disease etc... these are quite convincing temptations to believe "the body ITSELF has a problem". And because the body was made to blind you ("nothing so blinding as perception of form"), you think the body is the start and end of the problem. You don't SEE the projector - the mind - forcing the body into sickness, mangling its form, or attacking it. The attack is invisible.

The truth is though that the body is merely the end result or effect of the mind's activities. "All sickness is mental illness." ie, NO sickness is really something inherently wrong with the body itself. The body isn't containing "an issue". The body, even if it appears sick, isn't really "having" a sickness. It's merely REPRESENTING, or symbolizing, something that's going on in the mind. It's ONCE REMOVED from the problem. Even if you can see someone's broken leg, it is not really their leg that's broken, it's their mind. The body state is a reflection of the mental state. "A broken body is PROOF the ***MIND*** has not been healed."

It is very tempting upon witnessing the end result "form" of the body "looking sick" to want to then react to that perception. Having thus made the body real, believing the body is "really sick", falling for the appearance, buying into the story of how it came about, etc... it is then becoming a block to awareness. It now disguises the mind and hides the mind from view. It forms a wall of form, a form of error, which YOUR body's eyes are now failing to overlook. And so now you've fallen for believing in (and reinforcing) the body's condition without really noticing that its the MIND that has a problem. The mind is making the body suffer.

Essentially, the body has no mind, no will, no causality, no soul, no power, no decision, nothing. The body is totally nothing. And so the mind, in its attack upon or use of the body, is doing stuff TO the body "against its will", so to speak. The body simply responds with a reflection of what the mind wants it to represent. "Sickness is an attempt to prove you (mind) can be hurt." So the body just goes along with the mind's attack upon it and "faithfully" symbolizes what the mind wants to demonstrate, even if that is a will to demonstrate disease and death. The body has no say in it, and no will to stop it or resist it. The body has no fight, no cause, no defense.

Jesus describes the body's ONLY real defense as a state where the mind ceases to attack the body. "The mind, being sane, heals the body." So when the mind is not projecting attack onto it, to hurt it, the body is instead healed by the mind's use of it for extending Christ's love. The body is like the image on a movie screen. To fix the sick body you can't attack the movie screen. You've gotta to heal the movie projector. The projector is the mind. The mind is the only problem that needs fixing.

The question then becomes, how do you heal the mind? It seems easier to do this for yourself than for another mind. "The light in your mind can shine into another mind and enlighten it." Both minds are lit by the same lamp. Your minds can be one. This is a clue. How do you heal the invisible? How do you bring about mind correction, that's permanent, in another mind, through the broadcasting and expression of love? Through weakening their belief in sickness by not believing in their body's condition? Through prayer and the power of God moving to perform a miracle?

The focus needs to somehow move away from "I believe there is a real physical sickness" to "I recognize this physical sickness is not real whatsoever and the mind needs healing." And then proceeding to take steps to heal the mind directly. The body will follow.

God does not, cannot, will not, has not, and never could, create anything that is even capable of death. God is eternal, permanent, unchanging, unflinching, constant, always, perfect in every way and utterly incapable of degradation, decay, destruction, disease, or death.

If something even has the POSSIBILITY of seeming to do any of these things, it cannot possible have come from God. That much should be obvious. A divine being who can only create in his own image and likeness could never even conceive of creating suffering, sickness, pain, misery, torture, war, murder and suicide.

God could not possibly have created seasons in which entire populations of seeming lifeforms are wiped out through temperature changes. God could not possibly have created stunning vistas and sunsets only to later have them destroyed by an atomic bomb. God could never in any way conceive of creating an environment for his beloved children which entails any form of suffering, conflict or terror whatsoever.

For God to create such a place God would have to be cruel. God would have to have a mean streak. Some kind of aspect of his own nature which, when creating in his likeness, produces more of the same. God Himself would have to be diseased, suffering, dead and destructive, in order to create anything that exhibits these tendencies.

It is utter complete total bullshit nonsense to suggest that God created this world. This is a cruel, vicious, unfair, cold, lifeless world, houses in a dream of death, framed by sickness and set off against a background of suffering. It is absolutely not in any way related to God's nature or God's will. It has absolutely nothing to do with reality, truth, love, perfection, happiness or holiness. The world is a total illusion that has no reality, is not possible, and cannot exist. Because if God cannot participate in what exists, it cannot exist, because God is the creator.

Again, this is why there is no world. A world of bullshit cannot come from a God of love. And it doesn't have anything what so fucking ever to do with perception. It does not matter whether you are looking at this world with utter contempt, or whether you are looking at it with love. The world's character, features, makeup, dependency on spacetime, separateness, fluctuations, changing images and so on are all evidence of being NOT LIKE GOD. It doesn't matter if you view it with the most holy pure perception possible, it STILL cannot exist because it is still not like God. Looking at bullshit correctly doesn't turn it into the truth.

When you decide to use your persona, you are actually striking a deal with the ego. The ego has an all-or-nothing clause, where if you want to use the persona, you have to also use the shadow right along with it. Usually you don't realize you're making this deal, because you focus on the parts of the deal you want and like - which is what the persona is all about. The shadow part is just a... technicality, we need not mention.

The ego offers you what seems like a lovely glowing possible answer to all your problems, and forgets to remind you about the steaming pile of shit that will be coming right along with it.

So as you enter into the persona, you're entering into a deal, where you are saying to the ego, okay, I'll take the risk of possibly getting what I want through your persona mechanism, knowing that I might not get it and I might have to deal with some pain instead. It's sort of a 50-50 chance. But you take the odds because you're desperate.

What then ends up happening is that in order to wear the persona mask, you have to now 'serve' the ego. You have to serve the persona itself which is part of the ego, by worshipping everything it values. You make it your idol, your goal, your cherished beloved artificial self.

This means you're now in a vulnerable position of being exposed to what seems to be coming at you from other people, who seem now to be able to affect you. You attempt to screen out their BS with your persona by relegating it to your shadow. But now you're also concerned that you may or may not 'get' what you were trying to get out of the deal.

Part of being in the persona means you will be very 'self conscious' about what other people think of you, because part of the use of this persona was to get other people to think 'good things' about you, which you seem to think are valuable opinions.... ego strokes. You want people to feed your ego, not detract from it. But this also means you have to put on a bit of a 'show' - a people pleasing performance - in order to 'get' that attention, that narcissistic adoration or that special love.

So now you're basically an 'entertainer' for other people, like some kind of ego puppet, dangling from the ego's strings, singing and dancing and trying to win people over in order to suck their energy. So while you're using the persona, it HAS to mean that you have accepted the ego's rules, you're playing the ego's agenda, you're doing what the ego wants, you're serving the ego's ultimate goals, and you're basically all caught up doing what you think everyone else wants you to do. You're not being yourself.

When you realize that the 'game' of playing with the ego persona, which seems to promise tremendous rewards but often brings suffering and sickness, always produces pain in some form eventually, you might eventually realize it is not worth playing it. And especially if you come to realize, that what the ego was offering you, you did not even NEED to begin with. You only thought you needed it because you bought into your own ego lie that you were somehow defective or lacking or separate from infinite supply.

So if you take off the ego mask, drop the persona and the shadow, and stop trying to 'get' the benefits of the persona's promises, you're going to find that you are much more empowered. You'll realize that you no longer 'serve' the ego, i.e. you're no longer tied to having to give 'other people' what they seem to want to 'get' from you. You no longer have to entertain people or put on a show that you don't want to provide. You no longer have to suffer underneath a fantasy life image that covers up all of the pain that this very same persona generated in the shadows. And you also no longer have to suck up and people-please anyone for any reason whatsoever. So now you find yourself somewhat empty-handed as to who exactly you are now going to serve.

Well... if you're not serving the ego... and the only other mind you can be part of is Holy Spirit//God mind, who are you going to be working with now? You're not going to be looking to the ego for 'what to do' or 'what to say' or 'how to present yourself' or 'what facade to put on' or 'what to write/publish' or whatever else. Instead, you now stand apart from the ego masses, essentially 'free', independent of the entire ego game, ready and willing to come empty handed to God. And then it's merely a matter of you saying, well, here I am God, I'm here 'alone', I don't want to work with the ego any more, what do you want me to do?

P.S why did every episode of Scooby Doo have to have someone in a costume? lol

Often when I'm in the middle of some kind of upset, or a pain, or a sickness, or a struggle with someone or whatever, Jesus or Holy Spirit will simply say "its a lesson".

When they say this, they aren't saying "its a punishment", even though that's what I'm interpreting it as - some kind of unfair treatment. By saying its a lesson, it lets me know I have something to learn.

But it also lets me know, that this isn't something that they're trying to hide from me. They're not being assholes and concealing the answer to the lesson. It's totally available, and I'm aware somehow that the only reason I'm having the lesson is because *I* need to change in some way. There's something about my perception that is faulty, or something is unforgiven, or some healing is needed.

At the same time, I get this feeling like, there is a prize... a gift... there's something valuable that is 'mine' but its hidden from me, like a buried treasure or something. I can have it, and there's nothing stopping me from having it, other than that I need to learn the lesson. It's not a lesson in punishment or how I need to suffer. So then this makes it feel more like a challenge.

Also knowing it's a lesson helps me to not see it as 'against me' or 'unwanted' like I was before. If its just a lesson then things are happening for a reason, and there's just something I don't accept or don't realize/recognize yet. This sort of makes it almost an exciting challenge to find out what it is that I'm not 'getting' yet. This then sends me on a journey of discovery to look within and investigate what's really going on here. It's a call to do some radical honesty and inquire within.

And actually it's not like Jesus or Holy Spirit are mean school teachers who put up walls or reprimand you or anything. They are actually willing to HELP, with the lesson. But it entails a certain amount of willingness on my part. I can even ask them for guidance and they can provide some.. sort of like clues... because they don't often just outright reveal the 'answer' or solution or truth. But they're there to help as much as I'm willing to learn. Ultimately, how quickly I learn the lesson is up to me.

See we each have our own curriculum and like ACIM says, we get to decide when to learn - ie we can delay or be willing - but we don't necessarily set what the curriculum contains. And usually when lessons come along they are always unwanted at first. That's why they happen, lol. But they're there to help. They're nudges toward God. So if something seems to have gone wrong I need to become willing to at least accept that this is trying to help me somehow, and that I need to open up to something because I've made some mistakes. I need to learn the lesson. It's not there to torture me but to free me. My mighty companions just want the best for me.

Thanks Jesus/Holy Spirit.

When you believe something is true which is not of God, you give an open invitation for others to compound your belief and thereby to abuse you.

Whenever you believe something of the ego, it gives permission to the entire ego thought system to come in and USE that belief against you. In essence, you've disowned your authority OVER the ego and instead have given authority TO the ego.

So lets say you have a 'weakness' in a certain area, where you believe that you don't deserve love. In that belief, you are agreeing with the ego. This means the ego now has free reign to act upon you 'through' that belief, having been given permission to do so BY your belief in it.

The same applies to 'sins', and this does have some parallels to Christianity... where when you believe you have sinned in some way, this opens the door you agreeing that you deserve punishment. It's not that other people believe this for you. YOU believe it against yourself. And you will HIRE other people and actively invite them to demonstrate how punishable you seem to be.

You want to suffer.

So if you don't want to suffer, there needs to be a 'repair' made in your mind, which corrects and undoes the ego belief, un-aligns you from giving permission to the ego, and aligns you with GOD.

When you are aligned with God, you have now given God permission to do whatever God does 'to you', i.e. heal you, love you, save you.

"Nothing so blinding as sight of form" - ACIM

Forms, forms, forms, forms. Objects, stuff. Choices, options. Things.

It's incredible how it is possible for a slight change in the form of something seems to give us enough reason to believe that it is 'different' and 'unique', that we accept it as though it is completely new.

The ego world has a huge wealth of scope for including countless variations of forms. All of these forms present the same ILLUSION, that the 'form' something takes determines what it IS.

The truth is, that a different form is actually an illusion designed to make you believe that there are a) many problems, b) a great amount of isolation, c) things which don't apply to other things, d) value in different forms, and many other side effects, all of which support and sustain the ego thought system.

The deception that different forms really ARE different, is the ego's main play in this world. There really is no difference between, e.g. a chair with a curved back and shiny chrome legs and a certain shape of seat, versus almost the exact same chair in a slightly different color with a slightly less rounded seat. I mean... its enough for us gullible fools to believe, oh yes, look, there are DIFFERENT ONES.

And then you go about choosing between these subtle differences as though they are really, really important. I will choose the red one with the slopey back, instead of the orange one with the slightly more squared-off seat. Success!

We have a gross paralysis in life because of this. There are thousands of tv channels with nothing to watch. There are millions of products to buy and none of them are fulfilling.

After a while of seeing this, of seeing THROUGH this illusion, life starts to look a lot less deceiving, and at the time, you could say somewhat more boring. You start to realize what the Course says, "this world holds nothing that I want".

It's really all to do with searching outside of ourselves, to replace the emptiness that we have inside, due to unawareness of God/Self.

When we want God, we want God more than we want the world. And then we can recognize that all 'forms' (which the Course refers to btw as FORMS OF ERROR because all form comes from separation), are really the SAME ILLUSION, presented in a different variation. It's like, learning that all objects with 4 wheels are 'cars', and no longer believing that there are many distinct separate objects in the parking lot. It's a matter of abstraction.

Here is yet another way to explain why death is not part of the program for a miracle worker.

1. Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing real can be hurt, attacked, made sick, or dead. Reality has eternal life.

2. If there is sickness or death showing up, it MUST be an ILLUSION of sickness and death, not REAL sickness or REAL death.

3. There is no such thing as real sickness or real death.

4. An illusion can only persist so long as something about it is not recognized. This is how all puzzle games work, for example. So long as the "solution" - which is nothing other than awareness of the "how the trick works", remains obscure to you, you’ll buy into and be trapped by the illusion. As soon as you "see" the answer, suddenly you are no longer deceived. You have stepped outside the illusion and what you thought was true is no longer true. You can no longer "buy the lie", and thus the illusion *disappears*. It’s like the punchline of a joke you already heard - not so funny anymore.

5. Suffering only persists while illusions of suffering are maintained. They can’t be maintained when there is truth and sight. As soon as they are seen for what they are, they have no power to hide the truth, and the truth dispels the MYTH. No myth, no illusion. Nothing but a lie to recognize as such. No-one will keep a lie when it is recognized as one.

6. Illusions of sickness and death similarly must disappear when recognized. If we are deceived by them, we are not seeing fully. If they seem real, we are not seeing fully. If they seem to hold any power at all, or have any truth in them, we are still unconcious. As soon as we are aware of what these things are - illusions of things that are not happening in reality - we can wipe them away like a puff of smoke. They are recognized as NOTHING. "The last illusion to be overcome is death."

7. A mind that is in truth, is aware, and cannot buy into or be deceived by illusions. Such a mind DISPELS illusions. Light shines away darkness. Such a mind MUST disappear sickness and death. Sickness and death cannot REMAIN when they are recognized as illusions, because "illusions recognized MUST disappear." Therefore you cannot keep sickness or death when the mind is sane. "The mind, being sane, heals the body.