Attack actually means withdrawal. The Kingdom of God cannot be attacked. When you try to attack, you withdraw away from what you are attacking.
It's funny how all of the ego's illusions always look like one thing but are actually totally the opposite.
In the ego, free will looks like being tremendously independent and having great breadth of choice, but in truth the ego's free will is actually an imprisoned will and all its choices are attempts to isolate and be limited. The ego is the imprisoner of will.
When you attempt to attack a brother, you withdraw away from him and isolate. Therefore your attack cannot access the reality of what He is. Only in sharing of love can you actually "connect" with your brother's real self, because his real self is made of love and can only be accessed through love.
It's the same with God. If you try to attack God or oppose His will, instead of actually being ABLE to cause some kind of change in him, you instead withdraw away from him. It seems to be experienced by you as if it's a positive outward expression of attack away from yourself, but in truth it is a withdrawal away from the perceived enemy and a failure to attack at all.
Attack cannot have any real effects. You cannot really sin. You cannot attack anything real. Nothing real can be threatened. This is why God and His Kingdom are totally beyond the reach of the ego.
Similarly with power, when you are empowered you automatically must be aligned with love because love is strength and only by being aligned with love can you access the Power of God. If you try to use God's power to attack, you automatically lose that power and become weak.
In the ego, whenever there is an attack trying to be perpetrated, it is in fact a lack of attack. It is a failure to cause. It is an attempt to stop causing. It is the opposite of causal power. It's like a fearful dog barking its head off in hopes that the threat will go away, making it look like it is attacking when in fact it is terrified and will run away at the slightest advance.
This means literally you literally CANNOT ATTACK ANYTHING REAL. You cannot attack your brother, you cannot attack God, and you cannot attack yourself. This is why your innocence is guaranteed. Any time you try to attack you automatically place yourself under arrest. When you try to attack, you arrest the extension of your mind, which produces sickness. When you attack, you create illusions of being hurt.
When you try to attack your brother, you arrest your mind and attack yourself. This causes you to withdraw away from your brother into your body. It makes you isolate yourself and identify yourself with a physical form in a specific location in space. You are supposed to be everywhere in your omnipresence but attack puts you in prison. You imprison yourself by not loving yourself and others.
Joining minds with others through expressions of love (miracles) heals the separation, releases you from prison, ceases attack and allows you to gain access to sharing with others again and with God. Only through love can you connect with loving brothers. Attack is a breakdown in communication and it attacks communication itself, causing the attacking effort itself to be attacked. This is because all ego efforts to attack are self attack.
God is absolutely protected from the ego and all its ways. It cannot even approach God because its attempts to approach are actually running away. Every time it lurches forward with a spear, it recoils in terror. Nothing real can be threatened because the ego can only attack the ego and reality does not attack reality. Nothing unreal can threaten anything real, and nothing unreal exists.
What's stopping you from performing miracles?
It's because in some ways, you don't believe you are worthy of receiving them yourself.
If you believe you are sinful and therefore guilty, because of something you think you did, you're going to be certain that you should NOT receive love. And because of that belief, you will be just as certain that other people should not receive love through you either.
You can walk this Earth for years under the oppression of that belief in sin, all the while blocking the expression of love, and therefore inhibiting God's miracles. Not only are you preventing yourself from being healed, but you're also keeping your brother in darkness and suffering.
This is not a guilt trip, by the way. I'm not trying to say, you darned idiot what do you think you're doing. I'm saying, God is OVERFLOWING with abundance of love for you and everyone, and WANTS to heal you and forgive you. But you're not letting Him.
If there's some big sin in you that you are quite sure can never be healed or undone or reversed or forgiven, it's so bad that nobody would love you because of it, then you're not going to allow or accept being unconditionally loved. And so if you don't believe you can be loved, forgiven and healed, you also aren't going to be WILLING to heal others.
When I accepted the atonement regarding what I thought was a real sin, discovering it was NOT real, and that therefore I was still innocent, I was overjoyed. I actually felt joy. Such a tremendous relief. And Jesus said to me "because you have received this for yourself, this will enable you to perform miracles".
The same is true for anyone. You have to be willing to dig out your sins and guilts and offer them up in the atonement, through forgiveness, to realize that you ARE forgiven because you DID NOT SIN. "And in that view, all your sins are forgiven." This will set you free!
You will then ALLOW, DESIRE, and WILL for yourself to receive love, because you will recognize that you are now WORTHY of love. This sense of worthiness comes because you can clearly see, in the atonement's truth that you did not really do what you thought you did, that this MEANS you are still innocent. That therefore means that you are still lovable. And therefore, you ARE worthy of love!
If you are worthy of love, then you will also be WILLING for love to be expressed to and through you, and therefore you will not only be WILLING to perform miracles for others, you will become ABLE to perform miracles for others, because you will have plugged yourself back into God's power strip and will no longer be obstructing the flow of power with your belief in sin.
If you have shame, unworthiness, loneliness, a sense of guilt or fear, any kind of regret, if you're sick, suffering, anything less than love, you KNOW there is some belief that you have that you're sinful. That because of something you REALLY DID and therefore REALLY ARE, you are no longer eligible for love. Well let me tell you this. You are fucking eligible for love right now and always because God Himself does love you with an unconditional, unlimited, non-expiring and absolutely perfect love which HAS NO LIMITS and cannot see you as sinful, no matter WHAT you think is true of you!
It's not a matter of whether God finds you worthy, or whether you can be loved, it's a matter of YOU not agreeing with it!
The only way that A Course in Miracles can really make any sense whatsoever, is if there is a CLEAR distinction between what is real and what is illusion.
Every way in which you are confused about which is which, is your entire problem. This confusion is the ego - which simply is the belief that illusions are real.
If you believe that the physical world is real, you are confused about what is true and what is illusion.
Believing the world is real, when it is not, is confusion which will lead you further astray. It will lend credibility to parts of the ego's viewpoint and you will fail to fully believe that God is real.
Either God/Truth is real, or illusions are real. That's what you're choosing between. Each time you think this world has any truth to it, any answers, any solutions, any causes, any value, any meaning whatsoever, you are deceived.
If you think the world is not an illusion, to any degree, it is because you have given it reality. You've tried to turn it into reality. It is not inherently real. It is your wishful thinking that makes it seem real. And its apparent reality will make you seem to suffer and die.
It really is a choice between life and death, in the sense that if you are choosing that God's Truth is true, then you are choosing eternal life. If you are are choosing that the ego's illusions are true, then you are choosing death. But let's not forget, in truth, that death is an illusion and never a reality.
Death is not real. Sickness is not real. Suffering is not real. War is not real. Loss is not real. Separation is not real. Guilt and fear are not real. Darkness is not real. Insanity is not real. Bodies are not real. The world is not real. And this whole universe is not real.
You have to get to where it's absolutely clear cut, cut and dry, black and white. Only when you can begin to accept that this entire world is an illusion, can you begin to place faith and trust in God, which automatically means you are being forgiving because you are overlooking illusions, and this also automatically means that you are overcoming illusions.
This overcoming of illusions means you are not stopped by illusions, are not limited by illusions, and do not see any measure of weight or importance in illusions. You are not deceived by them. And they have no real power at all. And therefore, you are now a miracle worker.
A Course in Miracles is telling the truth IF God is the only truth and IF God did not create the world and IF there literally is no physical world. If that's not the case, then it makes no sense at all and you will be confused. You can't keep your illusions and experience reality.
Only the truth is true. Therefore everything your body shows you in this so-called 'precious world' is an illusion, and you should not believe in it. Put all your belief and trust in the fact that God is truth, and you will transcend the world and be a miracle worker.
Jesus showed us that this is possible. He learned that the world and the body are not real. He made his body disappear when he finally overcame the illusion of death. He saw the so-called 'real world' briefly, in its illusory loveliness, and then ascended to Heaven. We can too.
"There is no world. This is the central thought the Course would aim to teach" - ACIM
As I found myself believing that I was angry with someone, what then came to mind was that both 'that person' and 'me' were two parts contained in my own mind.
It had to be true that I was at war with myself. Even if I think that my thoughts about the other person were about someone 'not me', that's not true. I had to admit that I quite literally was being angry at myself, had split myself into two people, and was believing that this 'other person' was the cause of my problems.
Once I saw this and claimed responsibility for 'containing' this entire scenario within myself - that this was my own mind attacking itself, and that this had absolutely nothing to do with that person that I thought it was to do with.... something happened.
A short time passed and somehow, the anger had completely disappeared. I didn't even notice it leave. There was no transition or gradual weaning off of it, or having to work on it or attack it or try to change it. I just sort of noticed there wasn't any, not even a trace, like it was never there at all.
Hmmmmmmmmm.
I'm seeing this more and more now. My mind is not really capable of having a separate objective view of an external world, with external separate people doing stuff to me. However I experience it, all of the 'content' of this scene is within me. Even my thoughts about how someone else is to blame, even my thoughts about how they're the ones who are wrong, that's all still a part of myself attacking another part of myself. My mind seems to have projected and 'mapped' onto the physical scenario - me vs another person - but really this is all happening inside me.
So ... it's not really possible to be upset at a separate person. I am only upset with myself. And if my mind contains content that says someone else is doing something to me, that's ME doing something to me. This is simply the secret to salvation - that we are literally doing this to ourselves, because any time we perceive an enemy we have made an enemy WTIHIN our own mind, FROM our own self, and we are at war with ourselves. We might imagine that it's got something to do with other people but it doesn't. We literally split our minds and form multiple personalities and they seem to interact as though separate people.
This isn't an insanity that's particular to me. This is apparently what most of us are doing all the time. I can't perceive conflict with others unless I have conflict within me. I can't be against or offended by others without having to separate off a part of my mind, label it as another person, and attack it.
So what happens when I realize that both me and my enemy are still parts of myself? That I am both of these people? That I am all of this war? That I am both sides of this conflict? Then the unawareness of ego, of being unconscious and lost in the battlefield, its foundation is ripped out by the light of truth. And then all effects from that inner conflict have to disappear. And they do.
You are your own worst enemy. You are your ONLY enemy. You are against yourself, and this is the only war you are fighting. You have no external enemies whatsoever. It's just you, doing this to yourself, having an internal war in a private world. This is the secret to salvation - that you are doing this all to yourself - that you are you AND your enemies combined. And this has got nothing to do with anyone else, because there isn't really an 'other' separate entity out there.
The ego doesn't have any real power of its own. Its only strategy is to try to get you to willingly give your power to it.
To do this, it has to present to you some kind of temptation or lie, something untrue, and generally something that upsets you in some way. If it can especially get you to have a reaction, or be triggered, then you have fell for its trap.
The ego uses your own beliefs and your own blind-spots, as a way to get you to agree to go along with it. While you remain unconscious and attached to a certain egoic belief, you are quite literally agreeing with the ego and giving it permission to use this against you.
The ego cannot take power from you, you have to give it away. When you give it away, you give it away through playing the role of a victim, perhaps entering into fear or guilt etc. This is your way of making it seem as though the power you share with God has now been separated from God and is handed over to the ego.
In certain other religious circles, this principle is taught in terms of the devil, sin, and how the devil operates. That is, that you first must sin which means you believe in something that's mistaken. Then based on this sin, you have literally agreed that something untrue is true. And now this creates an 'open door' and an invitation and a resonant agreement, which allows 'the evil' to come in and control you. This is also how evil 'spirits' enter people's lives. Because YOU have violated a law of God, so to speak, by going against it, you have permitted darkness/ego/devil to use this darkness against you.
But notice here that the ego/devil does not actually have its own power. And it completely depends on you agreeing with it, and continuing the 'sin' i.e. the false belief. It also does not actually have any power to prevent you from undoing that belief, or choosing again, or waking up. It has ZERO 'actual' control over you, besides your own willingness to play along. If you were to decide to stop playing along, and to withdraw your belief, and to take back your power knowing it is yours, and knowing that the ego can do absolutely NOTHING to stop you, the ego would be dis-empowered.
The only tool the ego has is the presentation of illusions, in an attempt to try to play upon what you believe and to convince you that it is either your friend and ally, or to distract you from choosing again by throwing fears or guilts or rationalizations or whatever else your way, to try to once again push your buttons or pull up your past hurts or play upon your own fears, to keep you ensured in its mindset. And often, in unconsciousness, you will go along with this and be pulled right back in, but ONLY because you have not become conscious/aware enough yet to discern and to decide not to listen or believe what it's saying.
So really the ego is just a mirror for your own mis-beliefs. And it shows you and reflects back to you what you currently believe. Change your belief, and the reflection of that belief - the ego - must disappear.
There is nothing keeping you stuck. There is nothing stopping you but yourself. There is no reason why you can't be loved. There is no reason why you can't wake up. The only thing keeping you asleep is yourself.
Jesus tells in ACIM things like:
"Only the self-accused condemn."
"You but condemn your brother of your own sins"
"You never hate your brother for his own sins but for your own"
In fact large sections of the Course really go into detail about how you put your stuff onto others, how you accuse them, how this accuses you, how you feel guiltier for this, and how you need to demonstrate your brother is innocent.
There is a very deep and simple truth in these statements.
Every time you ever believe it's someone else's fault, its your own stuff.
Every time you feel like some reaction in you is caused by someone else or something else, its really just your own stuff coming up inside you.
Every time you think someone has the power to influence you in any way whatsoever, you're mistaken because you can ONLY do stuff to yourself.
Every time you feel guilty that you have the power to do something to someone else, you are mistaken, because you cannot harm anyone.
It all boils down to this profound and life-altering fact:
Absolutely everything you are experiencing or have ever experienced is entirely contained within your SELF.
Its all from yourself, to yourself, about yourself, in yourself, as yourself. That's all.
There is no influence from others, there is no harm from others, no causes coming from others, nobody is capable of yet alone actually doing things to you against your will. Just as you are not capable of doing anything to anyone else.
Everyone is "Self-Contained". You are like a container of pure water (truth), and into that water you've spilled some oil - that you made up yourself - dark black thick oil which obscures the purity a little. So now you're walking around, still self-contained, and what you're attempting to do in an act of "ego" is to try to get rid of that oil by going outside your self containment. You're trying to give away ownership of it, trying to project it, trying to blame it, trying to shovel it onto someone else, trying to relinquish responsibility for it, and and you're trying to make out that every single time you notice the darkness in yourself it's someone else's fault for putting it there.
Nobody else has ever put darkness in you. Nobody else has ever influenced you or affected you or caused you to feel anything. Nothing.
Every single time you have a "re-action"... you're not really having a re-action to something outside your self containment. You are, instead, bringing up the dark oil inside your container and are experiencing it. And because YOU chose to bring that oil to the surface of awareness at the same time as some other person seeming to 'do something', you conveniently are thinking that they caused it. They didn't. Nobody else put that there but you and they are just reminding you that you need to clean yourself up.
Look at your life. Look at how every single time something happens you 're-act' in the belief that this something has 'caused' you to feel this way. It hasn't. You already feel this way. You just keep trying to bury the darkness out of sight so that you can escape from it. You need to learn to take responsibility for it and to transform your experience, internally, within your self containment, so that you can experience something better. You need to learn to catch yourself when you're believing and experiencing that someone or something else has put this upset into you, or caused you to feel unhappy, or pissed you off, or unloved you. Nobody has ANY power to do this. Its all you, because this is all about who you are and what you are.
Our only real need is for the love of God. All other needs are ones we've invented.
We invent a need when we first find ourselves lacking something. It is generally the apparent absence of God that we think we lack, that gives rise to all other needs.
So really, when we think that our one need - the love of God - is not fulfilled, it produces a sense of lack or emptiness, which does not feel good, and which then compels us to search for its fulfillment somewhere.
Typically then, because we see the need as having been lost within ourselves - as if, love is not in us, we then look elsewhere for it. Anywhere else but within. And that ultimately means, we look for this fulfillment anywhere other than where the love actually IS, ie within, and so we do not find it.
So then we're in a state of neediness and yearning and deprivation and lack, thirsting and hungry, and we then think that we need to 'get' from somewhere outside of ourselves. And we will actually attempt this getting. But even if we get ie take ie steal from others, we will not be able to actually accept it.
Accepting that our artificial needs are met, entails accepting that the lack of love within us has been restored. But we can't accept that because we believe, more deeply, that love is absent, ie God is absent.
So it's like... God has to fill our bucket, but then we're going around saying we only believe in empty buckets, and then we take our empty bucket to everyone else trying to get them to fill it with their piece of God, but as soon as they try to put their God into the bucket we refuse to let it be filled up because we're adamant that our bucket must be empty. We want to keep our bucket empty, even though we're desperately trying to fill us from any source other than where it can really be filled from. And every time we believe our own bucket is empty, we will see everyone else's buckets as empty also, and so there's no sign of the love you need.
Seek and do not find.
The ONLY solution is the reversal and undoing of the belief that your bucket is empty in the first place, which is an ILLUSION and a deception within yourself, covering up a tremendous FLOOD of love that resides in you as God, already. We have this entire lake of love flowing through us, an ocean of it, but we've simply blocked it out and made it seem to us like it's not there. It IS there. We have to uncover it, rediscover it, find out that it was NEVER LOST, and accept that it is present. That's all. This one need is then met and all other false needs disappear because they're absolutely unneeded.
When you have false needs you have a lot of questions because you have a lot of doubt about love's presence in you, and so you have a lot of fear about how you're going to manage without the strength of this love. So then you've got all this questioning and confusion. What happens to all that when you GO TO GOD? All of this doubt and questioning is based on the absence of God, staying away from God, so when you go to God, the entire foundation of all this questioning is completely mute. It's irrelevant. All of the questions are about how to meet a need that is FAKE - a need that you don't really have. When the true need is met, all else is taken care of.
Seek ye first the kingdom of God and your way will be made straight.
All you need is love.
YOU *CAN* CHANGE THE WORLD WITH YOUR MIND
"Projection makes perception; the world you see is what you GAVE it, nothing more than that."
"The world you see but shows you how much joy YOU have allowed yourself to see in you, and to accept as YOURS. And, if this IS its meaning, then the power to GIVE it joy MUST lie WITHIN you."
This 'projecting' is all to do with what you GIVE to the world. If you project out sin/attack/hate etc you will SEE it. If you project out JOY, HOLINESS, PEACE, you will SEE IT. "As a man thinketh, so does he perceive."
"Therefore, seek not to change the world, but will to change your mind ABOUT the world. Perception is a RESULT, and not a cause."
"Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly. Ideas leave not their source. "
Note here that perception DOES NOT CAUSE WHAT YOU SEE. Perception has nothing to do with outward projecting or causing. Perception is a RECEIPT of what you PROJECTED. It is the PROJECTING, that in fact, needs correcting, if you are to THEN perceive a more forgiven world! This is widely misunderstood and all the emphasis is placed incorrectly on perception, rather than the correction of or power over what you PUT THERE. Your perception DOES NOT determine what is out there. It only registers what's there, AFTER you have PROJECTED IT.
Notice that it also says seek NOT to change the world. BUT, it goes on to say that if you do change your mind, ALL THE WORLD MUST CHANGE. It means ONLY to focus on the CAUSE of what PUT THE STUFF OUT THERE, fixing your mind so that you fix your PROJECTING, so that you will perceive differently. And your projecting will MAKE a different world.
"Let THIS be changed, and nothing in the world but MUST be changed as well."
"What YOU have made can always be changed, because when you do not think LIKE God, you have not really thought at all."
"The idea for today introduces the thought that you are not trapped in the world you see, because its cause can be changed."
"Nor will the CAUSE be changed by seeing it APART from its effects. The cause PRODUCES the effects, which then bear witness to the CAUSE, and NOT themselves."
"You can change form, BECAUSE it is not true. It could not be reality, BECAUSE it can be changed. Reason will tell you that, if form is not reality, it must be an illusion, and is not THERE to see."
"The miracle is proof he is not bound by loss or suffering in any form, because it can so easily be CHANGED. This demonstrates that it was never real, and could not stem from his reality. For that is changeless, and has no effects which anything in Heaven or on earth could ever alter. But appearances are shown to be unreal BECAUSE they change."
You absolutely definitely CAN CHANGE THE WORLD OF FORM, with your mind. You can PROJECT a different form. You can MAKE a different world. And you can THEN perceive it. In fact you are supposed to use MIRACLES to demonstrate that illusions/forms/appearances/bodies etc CAN BE CHANGED, as a way to demonstrate that they MUST BE NOT REAL, BECAUSE they could be changed. Nothing real can be changed, and changing illusions is a way to use them as a teaching device to SHOW that they ARE illusions.
This is why e.g Jesus turned a tree branch into a snake and back, to show that he has mastery over forms and forms are illusions.
Consider for a moment, a definition of yourself, in which YOU CANNOT CHANGE. You are absolutely changeless. You exist always the same, fixed, absolute, certain, permanent. Something that never alters, adjusts, transforms. Something incapable of becoming anything, losing anything, having anything taken away from it, or added. Just the same, always and forever, always existing, always being, always you. Same old you since you were created.
Then with this is idea it being IMPOSSIBLE to experience change, consider the contrast this produces to all the forms of suffering in the world. Someone doing something to you, being affected, upset, made to feel this way or that, moved by the wind, affected by the environment, threatened by the politicians and the warmongers, altered by sickness, pushed around by health concerns etc. All of it... all forms of CHANGE. All things which say "I can change you and you will change whether you like it or not."
What are you and where do you stand and how are you able to play any of these games if YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE? If you cannot be changed by anything, you are invulnerable, immortal, eternal. Always perfect, always strong, always beyond the reach of every kind of influence, every force, every attack, every threat to your nature. You cannot change, you have never changed. You remain as God created you and always will be the same. So can you believe you have been changed, caused, forced, yet again, to become something you can never be?
"You were NOT born to die. You CANNOT change, because your Function HAS been fixed by God." UrT29G4
"Can YOU see guilt where God KNOWS there is perfect innocence? You can DENY His knowledge, but you CANNOT change it." UrT13C8
"You cannot be ANYWHERE that God did not put you, and God created you as part of HIM. That is both WHERE you are and WHAT you are. This is COMPLETELY unalterable. It is total inclusion. You cannot change this now or ever. It is forever true. It is NOT a belief, but a fact." UrT6C6
"In the longer practice period, we will think about your reality and its wholly unchanged and unchangeable nature." UrW67L2
"Now He can remind the world of sinlessness, the one unchanged, unchangeable condition of all that God created." UrM19A2
"Your Self is radiant in this holy joy, unchanged, unchanging and unchangeable forever and forever." UrW190L6
"As God created you, you must remain unchangeable with transitory states by definition false. And that includes all shifts in feeling, alterations in conditions of the body and the mind, in all awareness and in all response." UrW152L5
"The Thought God holds of you is like a star, unchangeable in an eternal sky. So high in Heaven is it set that those outside of Heaven know not it is there. But still and white and lovely will it shine through all eternity. There was no time it was not there. No instant when its light grew dimmer or less perfect ever was. Who knows the Father knows this light, for He is the eternal sky which holds it safe, forever lifted up and anchored sure." UrT30D8
"Only what God creates is irreversible and unchangeable. What YOU have made can always be changed, because when you do not think LIKE God, you have not really thought at all. Delusional ideas are NOT thought, but you CAN think that you believe in them." UrT5G11
Which means, everything about God exists already, is complete already, is in perfect divine order, free of needs and problems, in divine health at all times, and absolutely always the same.
So when we're having a relationship with God, we might want to look at in which ways we're really treating God based on how God is, versus some idea of a 'changeable God'.
If God were changeable, you might be justified in, for example, asking Him to do something ... ie he hasn't done it already. Or, praying for something to be done which isn't his will. Or, believing that he doesn't have a desire to heal certain person due to sins. etc... various beliefs that arise out of the idea of a conditional, fickle God.
God has already accomplished everything because God already created. His creation is whole and complete already. He has already put into place everything that you really need, your ideal environment, the perfect conditions for your health, etc. He has also already established His laws and set up the 'mechanisms' by which you should live in alignment to His will.
So it's not so much a matter of, let's get God to bend to our conditions and do what we think hasn't been done yet. It's more like, let's accept what God has put in place and get into the role that He has chosen for us and act based on the laws he has already established and live in the way that He has already designed for us.
It's not that God is failing to give us a perfect life. But that's exactly what you're saying when you think that your life is a mess and isn't working out properly and needs correction. It's not because God has failed. God never fails. It's because we have resisted God's way, have resisted God's will, and want to have things be different. And it's also not that God isn't providing or giving or sharing, it's that we're not receiving. We're ignoring God and shutting out His help, it's not that He isn't helpful.
So it's like, we have this natural role, a 'function', which God has set in place, to be the Holy Son of God, and to be free of all illusions and all ego, and to live forever, carrying out His will and extending His kingdom. And if we're not doing that, it's because we have chosen not to, and therefore what can we expect but to meet with problems? The fact is, our ego self wants to have its own separate existence with its own rules and laws and power and do all this without God and expect it to go well. Life doesn't work smoothly without God.
So it's really a matter, what it comes down to, in the undoing of the authority problem (trying to have authority over God rather than accept and extend His authority), whether you are willing to BE what God has intended you to be, or whether you still want to be something else. Whether you want to be governed by laws of sickness and chaos and death, which you made, or whether you want to be under no laws but God's - the laws of eternal life.