"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and your way will be made straight" - this is the ULTIMATE FORM OF FORGIVENESS.
I will explain.
There is only one problem. Not many. Not multiple layers. One problem: separation from God. We are simply too caught up in being distant from God that we keep trying to forgive stuff within a layer of mind that is still quite far from the origin of all problems, cleaning up the mess, dealing with what appear as multiple fragmented issues. But as we 'home in' on God and on the real CORE of EVERY problem, it all boils down to this one totally simple thing: You believe that you did somethig to separate yourself from God.
So now in your forgiving you attempt to address the 'fallout' of this separation in various layers. Maybe you try to let other people off the hook, maybe you attempt to withdraw your projections, maybe you try to withhold judgement and just observe, maybe you monitor your thoughts and try to have 'the right ones', maybe you go to Holy Spirit and ask Him to do something. But let's be clear now. All of these remedies attempt to address the real cause of all problems somewhat distant from that cause, hidden behind multiple layers of psychological fragmentation. Where is the ROOT CAUSE?
Behind all these worldly distractions and needing to forgive individual people and needing to deal with specific body issues and needing to correct thoughts and so on, there is ONE PROBLEM and it is that you believe you are separate from God. It is very abstract and very primary. It underlies EVERYTHING else that seems to have gone wrong.
So what you need to ultimately do, whether you do this now or soon or in future or whenever, when you are ready, at some point you are going to have to GO TO GOD. Your relationship with God appears to have suffered. You believe you attacked Him and rejected Him and now he seems distant from you. How do you suppose this is going to get HEALED by you pussyfooting around the real elephant in the living room, avoiding this one fundamental issue?
Imagine you had a big fight with someone you love or a best friend and you feel terrible about it, but it caused you to be at odds and now you're not talking. You've gone off on your separate ways and you feel alone and guilty and angry etc. How exactly do you suppose you're going to repair this relationship? It's not going to be enough for you to focus on withdrawing projections or questioning judgements or all this kind of stuff that happens `down the pipeline`. You're likely avoiding that person. You don't want to go near them. But how are you going to get to what you really WANT, which is a REUNION with them? How are you going to get to where the two of you are standing there in a moment of rapture and love, letting go of every single sense of grievance and upset, utterly overjoyed at accepting each other back into your lives and completely dismissing everything that ever came between you?
At some point your'e going to have to GO TO GOD. Ok. So, God is the Kingdom of Heaven - that's His creation which He is One with. The more you AVOID Him the more you will orbit around and make silly noises and try to explain why your relationship is getting repaired from a distance. But what you really want is to reunite with God completely. You want to go up to Him, reaaaaaly close and personal, and have a confrontation of sorts (which you are terrified of), and 'apologize', so to speak, and move PAST all of the hurt and sense of separation that has kept you apart. You want to really get in there and commune deeply with Him, letting go of aaaaal accusations and fears and worries and all the guilt that stemmed from your falling-out. And you want to get past all of that and get to where you are beaming at each other with love in your eyes and joy in your heart at the absolute beauty and RELIEF that the love you thought you'd lost IS STILL THERE. It hasn't been hurt, nothing serious has transpired, and all is forgiven. Now your'e back to being 'best friends' and the whole separation bullshit has just disappeared.
That's what it would be like to seek first the Kingdom of Heaven. If you're going to totally undo all your problems, you need to UNDO THE SEPARATION. So as you apply forgiveness, instead of focussing on the distant levels, go straight for the jugular. Recognize that whatever your problem is, it's because you believe you are separate from God. There is no other reason. You don't need to blame it on the projection or the judgement or the thoughts or wahtever. It's all because you and God had a falling out and now you want Him back. Period.
"Holy Spirit, correct my belief in separation and help me to reunite with God". How about that?
"Holy Spirit, undo the guilt I feel because I separated from God and help me reunite with His Love."
"Holy Spirit, my body is sick because I am separate from God, please remove this evidence of separation."
"Holy Spirit, heal the separation between me and God"
Or even better, sometimes addressing Holy Spirit can be a way to avoid God ;-) ..... I don't see many people including GOD in their forgiveness words....
"God, please forgive me for trying to separate from you and help me to be with you again."
"God, please heal this separation now"
"God, I rejoin with you in peace"
"God, we are One"
Try this... Try skipping all the other levels of forgiveness and go straight for the repair of your sense of separation. ALL your problems stem from it so if you fix that one thing, everything else should take care of itself and "your way will be made straight."
All you really want is to heal the separation between you and God and return to a loving relationship. It's no more complicated than that.
"Yet in this learning is salvation born. And what you are will TELL you of Itself."
"I am come to tell you that the choice of which is true is not yours."
I consider myself fairly devoted to ACIM. My attitude about is that it contains an expression of Truth, and that Jesus knows what the truth is. I have respect for his Authority and for the Word of God which comes through. I want to learn. I want to be receptive. I want the course to tell me what the truth is and guide me toward an ACCEPTANCE of it.
This means that I have to learn to trust, to allow God’s truth to be true, and to define what is true and what is not. Being in ego is entirely a game of playing God, trying to be the one who decides everything, not listening, not accepting a truth which has already been established. Ego is all about dreaming of a different truth, a different reality. It wants to be the author of itself. To undo God’s handiwork.
When we read the course and the course says something, which is almost certainly literal in almost every case, if we do not like what it is saying, we will go into denial. If we have other beliefs that we think are true, which we cherish and want to keep, and are unwilling to let go of, we will defend them against what the course says. Even if the course is explicit, we will instantly react with "that’s not true" or "I don’t believe that". Or we’ll make up some excuse why the course "doesn’t mean that" and why other interpretations are possible.
The course is really straightforward, clear, literal and intense. That is why the ego hates it. It wants to change it, deny it, distort it, mangle its meaning, give it its own definitions, change words, adjust its theology, and even use it to keep its pre-existing beliefs about everything AND strengthen them. It’s perfectly capable of reframing everything the course says to make it fit into a view of reality that a person already came with. To even reinforce that view more deeply.
There are some people doing ACIM who are totally deluded about what it is saying because they have so much denial and unwillingness to let go of what they believe. They are not ready for the fullness of the truth yet. And this course is not for everyone.
We have to be willing to put aside our egoic denial. We can’t be continually questioning everything Jesus says. When he says something, it is true. Otherwise we are claiming he is a liar, and that we know better. That is arrogant. And it is dishonest. It indicates we are not willing to surrender our ego position and are not willing to ACCEPT anything that we’re being told. If we do not believe what Jesus is telling us, it means our beliefs are WRONG, not his. He is the sane one. We have to be more willing to learn a NEW truth.
Are we willing to trust that, and thus question every belief we hold dear, if needed? If it does not correlate to what Jesus says, it has to go. If it does not line up with God’s truth, it has to be false. If it is out of accord with God’s will, we must become willing to surrender it and get ourselves in line. The truth will tell us of itself what it is. We must simply be willing to accept, receive it, and listen to it. To allow God to be God. This is the only way you can accept the atonement. Accepting the truth is the opposite of trying to change it or author it. God is the author, not you.
It’s not your function to create yourself, reinvent yourself, define yourself, establish what is real, establish what is true, create laws, or to act against God’s will. When you do any of this you are in the ego. The truth, reality, can ONLY be accepted. You have to accept the truth God has created, off the shelf, as is, without you messing with it. Without you wanting it to be different. Without you not liking it or rejecting it, or trying to adjust it to be the way you want it. God’s choice FOR you has to be good enough. It has to be wholly welcomed with free will.
"I choose to let him by allowing Him to choose for God for me".
Look at all the ways in that sentence that Jesus is taking the responsibility of defining truth AWAY from you.
"I choose to LET HIM" (I choose whatever HE chooses FOR me)
"by ALLOWING Him to choose" (He decides what is the truth I will accept and take as my own)
"choose for God FOR me" (He chooses the truth about me, on behalf of God, and does so so that I can ACCEPT and
ALLOW whatever He chooses to be true of me, TRUSTING Him over my own ego ideas)
This is what your inheritance is about. You must INHERIT from God. You must receive what He has given you, how he has established you, what you ARE, by His will. You CANNOT change the truth, and trying to do so is insane. You cannot change what you ARE in reality. Atonement is the acceptance that you HAVE NOT done so, while sin is the rejection of this fact and nothing more than denial. Be glad you are ONLY the perfection God created and be open to receive your inheritance at last. What you stand to gain is yourself.
"I am forever an effect of God"
"I am still as God created me"
"The soul is the idea of self fullness"
"Nothing real can be threatened"
"You are immortal and you cannot die."
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[BOOKMARK,about-the-acim-book] [PREVIOUS,top] [NEXT,whats-inside-acim] Part 1About the BookThe ACIM book comprises a theoretical Text, a practical Workbook with 365 lessons, and a Manual for Teachers. The course is:
Let's take a look at some of the facts about this deeply spiritual and transformative book. |
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[BOOKMARK,acim-editions] Official ACIM EditionsA Course in Miracles First Edition
A Course in Miracles Second Edition
A Course in Miracles Third Edition
Physical Book Specs
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[BOOKMARK,whats-inside-acim] [PREVIOUS,about-the-acim-book] [NEXT,acim-audience] Part 2What's inside the BookA Course in Miracles - the Official Foundation for Inner Peace 3rd Edition, combines all the major portions of scribed material into one volume:
Let's take a look inside. |
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[BOOKMARK,inside-cover] ACIM Book CoverThe cover of A Course in Miracles print editions have traditionally been a dark blue background with metallic gold text.
ACIM is available in hard-back, soft-back and paper-back versions, all of which feature a blue and gold coloring, with the inscription "Foundation for Inner Peace" near the bottom of the front cover. When the second edition combined the volumes into a single book, the cover and spine were redesigned. The three main books (text, workbook, manual) are listed on the cover, but not the clarification of terms (which is included at the end of the manual). A small logo of a star (or representing the Holy Spirit) was added to the cover also. In the third edition, more details were added including:
[BOOKMARK,inside-preface] PrefaceThe preface was added in the second edition of A Course in Miracles. It provides an introduction to the book, due to requests for one by the course community. The preface contains three sub-sections:
Each section briefly describes an aspect of the course, as follows: 1. How it cameWritten by Helen Schucman, this section briefly describes how Helen Schucman and William (Bill) Thetford were struggling in their professional relationships and felt that "there must be a better way". This willingness to find a better way together, led to the beginning of transmissions from Jesus to Helen, dictating the Course material. 2. What it isWritten by Helen Schucman, this section provides a brief overview of the structure of the book, describing the text, workbook and manual for teachers and their purposes. It touches upon the curriculum of the course, the theory of the text, and the practical application of the workbook. 3. What it saysDictated by Jesus, this section begins to present some of the general themes of the course in terms of its theology and message. It begins with the now well-known and very abstract truth: "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God." There is a brief discussion of the difference between the worlds of knowledge and perception, which have given rise to heaven and its opposite. It touches upon the basic idea of how the world appears to change as our perceptions of it change. There is also brief mention of minds joining, special relationships, and the body. It finishes with a brief introduction to the idea of christ vision or true perception, coupled with forgiveness. [BOOKMARK,inside-text] TextThe "Text" portion of A Course in Miracles was originally a separate book volume when the first edition was printed. It was later combined into the unified volume in the second edition. The text provides a mostly theoretical, metaphysical and psychological presentation.
A vast majority of ACIM's theology is presented in the Text, and lays a theoretical foundation for being able to better apply the workbook lessons which follow. As the introduction to the workbook states: "A theoretical foundation such as the text provides is necessary as a framework to make the exercises in this workbook meaningful." This suggests that the text should be read and understood first. Jesus covers a wide range of subjects in the Text ranging from miracles to forgiveness to relationships, from the body to the world, all manner of aspects of perception and mind, and provides extraordinary insight and depth into the functioning of our minds. He also details how we arrived in our present condition, and how we can return home to God. The text is incredibly deep and profound and life changing and provides a metaphysical framework for the workbook and further transformation. [BOOKMARK,inside-workbook] Workbook for StudentsThe ACIM "Workbook", also known as "the lessons", features a lesson for each day of the year. There are in total 365 lessons, all of which include additional descriptive material, meditations and practices. The lessons may involve a few minutes of application and may be repeated a variable number of times throughout the day and as needed. The intention is that you:
In addition to the lessons, the workbook includes an introduction and several additional pieces of material which act as introductions to later sections of the workbook. The workbook also revisits and summarizes earlier lessons in "review" periods to help cement and generalize the learning. The workbook is intended for the development of Christ Vision, which A Course in Miracles refers to as a highly spiritual state of perception, establishing your function of forgiveness, teaching and miracle-working, while also paving the way to returning home to God. As it states: "The workbook is divided into two main sections, the first dealing with the undoing of the way you see now, and the second with the acquisition of true perception."Â ... and ... "The purpose of the workbook is to train your mind in a systematic way to a different perception of everyone and everything in the world." [BOOKMARK,inside-manual] Manual for TeachersThe manual for teachers recognizes that after a period of learning and transformation, a student may become equipped to teach and help others. While many aspects of the course appear to be a "self study" or experienced in private, other aspects call for providing services to others. Content includes:
It also speaks on topics answering some common questions, such as whether reincarnation is real or helpful, the meaning of healing, etc. [BOOKMARK,inside-clarification] Clarification of TermsThe clarification of terms in ACIM is a short section attempting to clarify and distinguish what certain terms in the course mean. It provides some extra background and context to put these terms into perspective. Originally this document was called the "Use of terms". The clarification covers these topics:
[BOOKMARK,inside-psychotherapy] Psychotherapy: Purpose, Process and Practice
The supplement is presented in such a way as to be of interest to someone in a therapeutic role, such as a psychotherapist, but can be applied to any relationship in which there is an aim to provide help and healing. It has the following sections:
The psychotherapy pamphlet talks about the various roles of the two individuals, how one helps and teaches and heals the other, and how they might work together for a common goal. It also suggests that psychotherapy is the only therapy due to everything being in the mind. [BOOKMARK,inside-song-of-prayer] The Song of Prayer
This supplement describes how we are in a constant state of prayer, always asking and always receiving. It describes how the spiritual quality of this prayer ranges from requests which are heavily identified with forms, objects and worldly problems, to a very high form of communication with God which paves the way to communion. The aim of "singing a higher song" spiritually is to raise one's mental giving and receiving to "tune" closer to God. This results in receiving higher spiritual gifts and support as well as a more spiritual outlook. The Song of Prayer is divided into three main sections, a kind of "how to do it" on each of these subjects:
[BOOKMARK,inside-gifts-of-god] The Gifts of God
Helen Schucman also published some of her poetry in a book called The Gifts of God. Although the book is described as poetry, it include a portion of material which distinctly appears to be further dictation from Jesus. The material uses iambic pentameter and expresses in the same way as the rest of the ACIM material. The Gifts of God is named as such because it talks about gifts received from and given to God. The material is not included in any official edition of ACIM, but can be purchased from the ACIM.org website. It includes the following sections:
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[BOOKMARK,acim-audience] [PREVIOUS,whats-inside-acim] [NEXT,where-to-buy-acim] Part 3ACIM Audience and CommunityThe official editions of A Course in Miracles have sold over 3 million copies worldwide. Along with several unofficial editions, ACIM has spread to a worldwide community of individuals and organizations. Read on to learn more about its audience and reception. |
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[BOOKMARK,acim-worldwide] Worldwide AudienceIt is estimated that editions of A Course in Miracles published and sold by the Foundation for Inner peace total near to 3 million copies, as of 2020. But there are also other unofficial editions for sale, and also a variety of freely available editions. The list includes:
It's very difficult to estimate the audience size, but there could be as many as 5-10 million individual readers/listeners of the course. We must also consider that the number of people actively still using or studying the course is likely far less, perhaps less than half. But A course in Miracles still likely has a reach of at least a few million active users. A Course in Miracles has found its way around the world and is now available in almost every country. |
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[BOOKMARK,acim-curriculum] The Universal CurriculumIt's worth mentioning what A Course in Miracles itself might say about its audience. The course teaches that before the world seemed to come into being, all souls lived happily in heaven with God. "The separation" or "fall of man" resulted in the making of the physical universe and its contents. This places every separated soul in a position of needing salvation. God responded to the separation with the creation of the Holy Spirit and the initiation of His Atonement Plan. The goal of the plan is to eventually return everyone back to Heaven, with no exceptions. This means that for all separated individuals, which includes everyone on Earth, there is one Truth to learn (the Truth of God), which is accepted in the Atonement. Therefore the same truth is to be learned by all individuals. This leads to a universal curriculum in which everyone must eventually learn the same truth. However, the path by which an individual comes to that same truth may be unique depending on their current beliefs, yielding an "individualized curriculum" for each person. The plan of The Atonement is to bring about the atonement of each individual, leading to the return of all souls to Heaven. Regardless of what beliefs, religions, opinions, attitudes, states of mind, preferences or conditions any individual is currently experiencing, all individuals are a part of the mandatory curriculum and are learning whatever is necessary to eventually awaken to the reality of God. This means that even those who do not study A Course in Miracles - as given in the book, are still participating in the universal curriculum, no matter their present path or interests, because all roads lead to God. As ACIM says: "It is crucial to say first that this is a required course. Only the time you take it is voluntary. Free will does not mean that you establish the curriculum. It means only that you can elect what to take when. It is just because you are not ready to do what you should elect to do that time exists at all." "Their readiness will bring the lesson to them in some form which they can understand and recognize. Some see it suddenly on point of death, and rise to teach it. Others find it in experience that is not of this world, which shows them that the world does not exist because what they behold must be the truth, and yet it clearly contradicts the world. And some will find it in this course, and in the exercises that we do today." Whether or not a person is well suited to gaining from A Course in Miracles, depends on their readiness, baggage, beliefs and history. Some are more willing than others. Some would see the course as a serious danger, even accusing it of being evil. Some would be completely disinterested. And some would never even encounter it in their lifetime. ACIM itself is not for everyone, but the universal curriculum is. ACIM is just one form of the curriculum designed for a particular audience, who will encounter it if that is part of the plan. Others will take different routes on the journey home. For this reason you will naturally see that those who believe things highly contrary to what A Course in Miracles claims, will be most offended or adamant about its wrongful nature, while those who can relate to it and benefit from it, will be more open and ready to receive it. In the big picture, this means that all criticism of the course is really just an interplay of egotism between certain individuals and the course's representation of the truth. which they are not yet willing to be open to. Some may accept parts of it, some may accept parts and recoil and rebound. Others may avoid it entirely. But everyone will go home in the end. If we give due credit to Jesus, author of A Course in Miracles, recognizing his mastery and perfection, and trusting his word, then we can see that reactions agains the course are almost certainly egoic in origin, and faulty at best. Essentially everyone should accept its truth, but many will likely find other paths which lead to the eventual same goal. God guarantees that everyone will return to Him sooner or later, it's just a matter of willingness and their individualized curriculum. |
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[BOOKMARK,acim-translations] Language TranslationsOriginally A Course in Miracles was dictated in English, leaning towards American English, since its scribe, Helen Schucman, spoke American English. Jesus delivered the words in the language which its scribes and the later audience were able to understand. The Course has now been translated into more than 25 languages with more languages to follow. The list includes:
Some translations are of the 2nd Edition of ACIM, while others are the 3rd edition. ACIM is also available in translated languages in e-book format for Kindle etc. Translations of unofficial versions may also be available. TIP: It's possible to freely translate an online ACIM website page, using a translator service such as translate.google.com. Simply choose the source and destination languages, enter the full url of an ACIM website page, and it will provide a link which, when clicked, will take you to a translated version of that website. If you apply this to a website which hosts A Course in Miracles online, you can read the whole course in over 100 languages. Note that the translation may or may not be accurate in capturing the meaning of the words. |
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[BOOKMARK,acim-reception] Reception"The Course in Miracles" has been generally well received and is respected for its depth, clarity, insight, beauty and transformative power. This is not to say it is popular with everyone. Indeed some groups would consider the book to be evil or wrong, depending on their current belief system. A Course in Miracles uses a somewhat Christian language, and there is some overlap with Christianity in many areas, just as there is also some overlap with Christian Science, Buddhism, Hinduism etc. But there are also areas where it diverges profoundly, often opposing common beliefs. There are subjects in ACIM which are similar to subjects in a variety of religions, such as God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, sin, forgiveness, love, peace, etc. Different people find it more or less relatable depending on their current state of mind and preferences. Some criticism has been made that the course is too long, too wordy, too difficult to understand, too dense, too hard to apply, too hard to relate to etc. Some people do not like the language or how it is written. The course may not be for everyone in its current book form, but for some it is very accessible. Some have accused ACIM of stealing existing or long-held beliefs and theologies present in other doctrines and religions, suggesting that it does not offer anything new. This is partly because there is always some truth in every life path or belief system, so it's natural for there to be some overlap. ACIM doesn't really claim to be 100% unlike anything that has ever been said before, although in some areas it is highly original and groundbreaking. But it does claim to be giving the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Any individual or organization will have to decide for themselves whether ACIM is right for them. Â |
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[BOOKMARK,acim-community] ACIM CommunityThe proliferation of A Course in Miracles around the world has naturally led to the formation of various groups and organizations. ACIM is not a religion, it is a spiritual path which you can participate in individually or as a group. And its aim is to restore openness, sharing and communication. "Miracles are given by those who temporarily have more to those who temporarily have less." "A miracle is a service. It is the maximal service that one soul can render another. It is a way of loving your neighbor as yourself." Various ACIM study groups have sprung up in various communities and countries. Some students meet periodically online or in person to share discussion and application of ACIM principles, to study the material and to share a connection. Indeed ACIM encourages all special relationships to become holy relationships and tells us: "Those who are to meet will meet, because together they have the potential for a holy relationship. They are ready for each other." ACIM students also congregate on all social media platforms including facebook, pinterest, reddit, twitter, youtube, forums etc. There are also groups who meet or participate in courses over "zoom" and through other media, as well as through online radio and podcasts. There have also been movies made about the course and a wide variety of course-related books have been published. The ACIM community is growing. There are A Course in Miracles conferences of various kinds every year, including meetups, workshops, training courses and various other events held periodically by various groups and individuals. Many cities host one or more ACIM study groups. It is also easy to meet and talk with other ACIM students on social media channels. Some ACIM organizations and non-profits have also been established, some of which offer courses, church-like gatherings, and in some cases ordained ministerial training. Phone support, websites and various other forms of interaction have all sprung up to support and build the growing A Course in Miracles community. Ultimately every soul God created is a worthy member of God's Family, whether they are using A Course in Miracles or not. |
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[BOOKMARK,where-to-buy-acim] [PREVIOUS,acim-audience] [NEXT,bottom] Part 4Where to buy ACIMMost editions of A Course in Miracles are available at Amazon. You can simply search for the book titles. Alternatively, and perhaps of more financial benefit to the publishers, you can also purchase most editions from the publisher's websites. You can also find versions of ACIM in various bookstores. Below we'll take a look at some of the more popular editions. |
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[BOOKMARK,buy-acim-choosing] Choosing an EditionWhen A Course in Miracles was first scribed, Helen Shucman wrote down the words Jesus dictated into note books, using her own shorthand. Later "The Notes" were typed into plain English with the help of Bill Thetford. This formed an early version commonly referred to as "The Urtext". The urtext was then considered to contain some material which was somewhat personal, various typing errors and so on, so further editing took place. Various material was removed and/or changed, especially in the earlier chapters. Chapters and section headings were inserted and this eventually formed the "Hugh Lynn Cayce" edition, so named due to a version given to the Edgar Cayce foundation and uncovered in the ACIM copyright trial. Some consider this version to be where Helen and Bill had finished editing. Ken Wapnick later arrived and felt the Course needed further editing. More material was removed and changed and cleaned up. This eventually became the Criswell edition, which then become the Official First Edition. The Foundation for Inner Peace published an initial run of 5000 copies of the 1st edition, with the 1975 copyright, in mid 1976. There was then a legal court case in which the copyright of ACIM was brought into question, mainly due to general distribution of course material prior to the 1975 copyright. The copyright was then voided, making the first edition public domain. This then led to further editing, which accomplished a few things:
This became the official 2nd edition, sold by the Foundation for Inner Peace. In years to follow, a final 3rd edition was published as a result of further edits, including two of the supplements. Meanwhile, relating to events in the court case, the Notes and Urtext were photocopied and leaked on the internet. Also later editions such as the Criswell and first edition were typed and posted online. Efforts by various individuals and organizations resulted, legally or otherwise, in the publishing of the earlier material in book form. Since that time, various editions of ACIM based on available materials have been published in print, and are available for sale. This includes the Original Edition, Urtext Manuscripts, Sparkly Edition and the newer Complete and Annotated Edition. RecommendationIf you are newer to the course, I would recommend either the Foundation for Inner Peace 3rd Edition, or the Circle of Atonement Complete and Annotated edition. The Circle of Atonement edition has a lot more material, but it includes material which was edited out by FIP. This includes many references to souls, discussions about sex and various other matters. The material reads more conversationally than in the FIP edit, but may not be as "clean and to the point" or "sanitized" as the FIP edit. More experienced students may benefit from extra insight gained from the earlier material. The urtext is a popular go-to, since the notes are not easily human readable. But now that the "Complete and annotated edition" and "The complete authentic original edition" are or will be available, which are based on a new translation of the notes, these are fast becoming more popular renditions of Jesus's original dictation. |
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[BOOKMARK,buy-acim-popular] Popular ACIM EditionsSeveral editions of A Course in Miracles are now available for purchase as physical print books. To follow are the more popular books. Most are available at the publisher's websites, otherwise all are available at Amazon.
A Course in Miracles Combined Volume"A Course in Miracles Combined Volume"Â published by the Foundation for Inner Peace. This is the current official version as published by the original publisher, originally authorized by Helen Schucman. It includes all material except "The Gifts of God", and is quite highly edited.
A Course in Miracles Complete and Annotated Edition"A Course in Miracles, Complete and Annotated Edition" published by the Circle of Atonement. This is a modern new edit, combining as much material as possible from The Notes, and some from the urtext. It provides a version as close to the original scribing as possible, but does not include supplements.
A Course in Miracles Urtext Manuscripts"A Course in Miracles Urtext Manuscripts"Â published by Miracles in Action Press. This is a a complete set of all urtext material including all supplements. A new edit based more firmly on the Notes will soon be available, titled "A Course in Miracles - The authentic original edition".
A Course in Miracles Original Edition"A Course in Miracles Original Edition" published by the Course in Miracles Society. This is the same as the Hugh Lynn Cayce edition, the final version following editing by Helen and Bill prior to the official FIP versions. This edition also includes some additional material from the urtext, but contains no supplements.
A Course in Miracles Sparkly Edition"A Course in Miracles Sparkly Edition" published by the Thetford Foundation is similar to the Original Edition, minus some urtext material, and has some capitalization/punctuation changes. The version is called "Sparkly" due to it sparkly cover. It also contains no supplements. |
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[BOOKMARK,buy-acim-free] Free Online EditionsMost versions of the course are available online with free access. These are usually hosted as a set of web pages on a website, or as a downloadable pdf. One of the most extensive archives of ACIM material available for free is at the Miracles in Action Press website. You can browse based on the edition of the ACIM material, and also by the volume (Text, Workbook etc). Material hosted includes pdf facsimiles, transcribed e-texts, the Urtext Manuscripts book in pdf form, html versions of various editions, and also a concordance. It includes documents on the Notes, Urtext, Hugh Lynn Cayce/Original, Criwsell and FIP editions. There are also other websites hosting A Course in Miracles as web pages. A few of the better ones include:
You can find ACIM online by Googling ACIM online or A Course in Miracles online. Most of the online websites have a search feature built in. TIP: You can also use Google in combination with one of these websites to find content. For example, if you type site:a.courseinmiracles.com forgiveness into Google, you will see Google's search results for the terms you enter, confined to that website. You can also put terms in quotes like site:a.courseinmiracles.com "forgive your brother" for narrower results. Note that Google might not include every single page in their search results. You can also find various editions in PDF form, by Googling ACIM pdf or ACIM urtext pdf etc. Note that these will either be transcribed versions, or might be a collection of facsimiles of photocopied pages, which can be harder to read. |
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[BOOKMARK,buy-acim-other] Other EditionsA well as print books and online versions, ACIM has been published via many types of media. You can experience it in book form, for example as an ebook on a device like Kindle or via Apple Books. You can also experience it as audio recordings in various ways. There are official and unofficial audio book recordings of various versions. You can also find these converted into videos on YouTube, sometimes where a person is visibly reading the book and other times just as audio with pictures. On YouTube there is a wealth of ACIM material including collections of videos from a variety of organizations and individuals, either reading the ACIM books or talking about ACIM topics. There are videos for every workbook lesson from several sources. If you are on social media platforms such as Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, Reddit etc, you are likely to encounter ACIM quotes and memes and various visual expressions of A Course in Miracles which are socially shared. You can also find ACIM distributed in software app form, with apps for iOs and Android, a well a for desktop PC's (windows). These are available from ACIM.org and others, and on the app stores. It's also worth mentioning again that ACIM has been translated into over 25 languages and a vast majority of these are available at the ACIM.org website, which is the official website of the Foundation for Inner Peace. |
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[BOOKMARK,bottom] [PREVIOUS,where-to-buy-acim] Part 5ConclusionA Course in Miracles is a truly profound and potentially life changing book.
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"Although God does not forgive, His Love is nevertheless the basis of forgiveness. Fear condemns and love forgives."
Notice how this implies that forgiveness is a RESULT OF LOVING, rather than that the forgiveness 'does' something on its own.
Forgiveness is often taught to be some mechanical process or series of mental actions that attempt to undo ego activities. But these are in fact still largely a part of the ego's framework.
It is in fact the LOVE OF GOD that produces a healed and FORGIVING mind and perception.
The healing of the mind's distortions is difficult to bring about through techniques, reciting affirmations, applying logic and so on. Slowly you might be able to change some belief but this is really an attempt to do it yourself without God.
Seldom do I hear people saying or teaching that forgiveness means love, but "forgiveness is an earthly form of love." And ACIM is quite clear that GOD'S LOVE is the BASIS of forgiveness. Only when God's love is in your awareness are you BEING forgiving.
I've been finding that if I allow myself to RECEIVE God's love, acknowledge it, and then be grateful for what God has given, there is a rapid shift in mood away from fear and misery toward happiness and strength. It is a FELT experience, as the effect of allowing LOVE to enter.
This love of God literally shines away the darkness. This is its power. This is how it HEALS the mind. This means allowing the Holy Spirit to fulfil his healing function. And it means allowing him to LOVE YOU and FORGIVE YOU FOR YOU. To actually do something to you to change you, and thus for you to receive it.
This isn't then about "you doing forgiveness" or "practicing forgiveness" its more about you allowing God and the Holy Spirit to operate on you FOR you, and in turn THROUGH you. The course even says that you do not know how to perform miracles and you do not understand them. But the Holy Spirit does.
God's love is what you are, what you are made of, and how you function correctly. It is not YOU that puts it in place, makes it what it is, operates it, causes it to be, or decides how it should function. You have NO CLUE what love actually is or how it works. It is a property of God's infinite intelligence and nature.
In order therefore to return to a healed state of mind you have to let your mind open up to what GOD HAS GIVEN ALREADY, which is then re-received as your inheritance and you merge back into it. As the course says, we seek to remove the BLOCKS to this love, but we do not seek to IMPLEMENT this love.
Too much forgiveness work focuses on trying to basically "self help" yourself into a better state. That is not the course's teaching at all. God has already done everything, and atonement means love, and your real self is love. This love is already there. You just have to have a willingness to receive it, feel it, identify with it, and realise that it is WHAT YOU ARE.
This is why Jesus goes on about the vision of christ, the eyes of christ, that only christ forgives, miracles come from christ's vision, and so on ... this Christ is YOU AS LOVE IN GOD, your real self. And salvation comes from that one self. It is what you need to get back into and align with it and take on as your FELT experience. Without the presence of love you are NOT forgiving. It is the love ITSELF that PRODUCES a forgiving attitude.
Ultimately, ONLY the love itself can contain the necessary "remedy" for fear and separation and ego and death. The love is the end result of the problem having been UNDONE. It CAUSES the undoing. It REPLACES fear with love. It replaces darkness with light.
"1.) Know first this is fear.
2.) Fear arises from lack of love.
3.) ****The ONLY remedy for lack of love is perfect love.****
4.) Perfect love IS the Atonement."
The ONLY remedy - for a lack of love (sin, fear, guilt, death, sickness, egotism etc) ... is PERFECT LOVE. LOVE IS the thing that CAUSES you to adopt a forgiving attitude and perception. The EYES of love SHOW you innocence and perfection. Without that love, you see with the ego's eyes of fear and are unforgiving.
God bestows a universal blessing of a miracle upon you and you receive it and it heals your mind. God knows how to do that. It's not your recitations and quotes and judgements and techniques that produce this change. You can't put in place what God has already put in place - thats not your function. Acceptance and surrendering to what is already true is your function. Admitting to the love that is in you and is you as part of God.
If you are not IN that love you won't be able to "act as if" you are. Nor will you be able to BE forgiving. Forgiveness isn't some learnt skill, it's a natural expression of God's nature through you. It's what happens and how you relate when you have the love of God in your awareness, in recognition that you are that love and that you share it with him.
"Although God does not forgive, His Love is nevertheless the basis of forgiveness. Fear condemns and love forgives. Forgiveness thus undoes what fear has produced, returning the mind to the awareness of God. For this reason, forgiveness can truly be called salvation. It is the means by which illusions disappear."
"God is the love in which I forgive."
"Each lily of forgiveness offers the world the silent miracle of love."
"Yet love, reflected in forgiveness here..."
"Forgiveness is an earthly form of love."
"Yet forgiveness is the means by which I will recognize my innocence. It's the reflection of God's love on earth."
"As forgiveness allows love to return to my awareness..."
"This is the world the love of God reveals."
Our egos counsel us to separate ourselves off from others. That means identifying solely with your own body, and not with or beyond the bodies of others. It also means seeing yourself as completely cut off from others. No-one else is allowed to occupy the same space as you. You share nothing with anyone. You are isolated, imprisoned and alone inside your body.
The ego the tells you that because you are separate, it makes total sense to suggest you can attack someone and remain separate from the attack. That anything you express, anything you do, will not hurt you but will hurt someone else. Anything you give, is not given to you. Anything you hurl at another, you do not share in. Any way that someone else is wrong, is in no way associated with you. And you are completely dis-associated from everyone.
In its rage and hatred, the ego has you trying to emphasize the separation between you and others as much as possible. To want nothing to do with another person is the ideal mechanism for increasing the separation. Wanting to be distanced from them, pushing them away, destroying them, and making sure all guilt and sin is loaded onto their plate alone, is its whole ambition. This increases the sense of being separate and guarantees that you escape all the consequences of their sinfulness.
As a strategy this seems to all make sense. On the fundamental premise that you are ONLY you and you share nothing with anyone else, it's obvious that you have a great opportunity. You can easily blame someone without being blamed, hurt someone without being hurt, shovel all your guilt into someone's hands and absolve yourself of it, and generally identify your "self" as "not them." This is the egos entire approach to everything. Separate and be saved.
But what the ego will also be careful not to tell you is that in order to be separate, you must also lose something. Having attacked everything other than separation, it hates all the things that you stand to lose by your attacks, and believes they are not worth having. But there is a long list of very worthwhile valuable things that you DO lose when you regard yourself as "not one with them."
You lose all sense of love, all relationship, all communication, all safety and trust, all peace of mind, all freedom, all sharing, all inheritance from God, all power, all life, all holiness and all happiness. It goes flying out the window as soon as you try to be special by making yourself separate from others.
As soon as you try to stop sharing, you become selfish. This selfishness is an attempt to gain something exclusively for yourself, but has the side effect of excluding you from what others have. You seem to gain, AND lose, at the same time. And everything you lose in your special separated state is everything worth having. You have to convince yourself that it's not even there, or valuable, or worth having at all, in order to justify being so separate, barren, bereft and empty.
In the effort to have everything exclusively for yourself, in your selfish egotism, all you end up doing is having nothing. In grasping to hold onto things they completely slip through your fingers. Possessiveness leads to lack and sacrifice. All efforts to make something yours alone makes it no-ones. This is the cost of being separate.
So when you are being separate and are scapegoating and projecting sin and guilt onto others, trying to have it not apply to you, to exclude yourself from, recall also what you are giving up. You lose whenever you think you win. You sacrifice whenever you think you gain an advantage. You become empty whenever you shut someone out. And you become not yourself, whenever your sense of identity is not shared with everyone.
The question then becomes, is it worth it? You have to first recognize that you are being separate. Secondly you have to recognize that this separation has a major cost. Thirdly you have to value the things that you've lost as a result of being separate. And fourth you have to want to regain them. Only in the awareness that separation brings with it a whole host of deprivation, suffering, unhappiness and lack of peace, will you have an incentive to turn away from it.
You are not solely gaining when you separate. You are not getting off scott free. You are not winning without losing. You are not acquiring everything and sacrificing nothing. You are not surviving while others are dying. You are not escaping consequences. You are not becoming more free or more happy or better off. And you certainly are not feeling good in any real way.
The ego doesn't want you looking at the COST of being separate because it doesn't want you being aware that you're missing out on anything. It doesn't want you thinking that there are any downsides to being separate. It doesn't want you being aware that when you project guilt in anger you are still attacking yourself. It doesn't want you to realize that by isolating yourself and being exclusive you are leaving yourself out of the greatest party that ever happened. Nor does it want you remembering that deep down inside you want to be reunited with everyone in love.
Your real identity is shared with everyone in and as christ. Your real experience is to have everything at the same time as everyone else has everything. God's generosity is the guarantee that everything belongs to everyone, and everyone IS everyone. You are literally one with and a part of and shared entirely with every other child of God. And accepting this is the acceptance of atonement. You are not just you. You are all of us. And you are never alone.
I think we all realize we are supposed to get rid of the ego. This is agreed to by almost all ACIM students, shockingly enough. But how do we do that? And can we do it without losing ourselves entirely?
We do have a real self. "I am as God created me." There is at least one son of God which is you, and me, and everyone. So we don't want to be getting rid of what God has created.
"God who encompasses all being nevertheless created separate beings who have everything individually and want to share it to increase their joy."
Gods mind functions based on the holographic principle, in which the whole (God) is in every part (Sons), and every part is whole and contains the whole. That means each son shares the same whole and is the same whole, and each son is every other son as well.
"The recognition of the part as whole, and of the whole in every part, is PERFECTLY natural. For it is the way GOD thinks, and what is natural to Him, IS natural to you."
In the separation, we drew a little circle around our individual selves and decided to stop sharing. We wanted to separate off and go our own separate ways. We became exclusive, and selfish, and thinking of ourselves as not having what others have. It was an attempt to put a stop to the oneness, while keeping the individuality.
If we were to now say we should get rid of individuality, we are trying to destroy what God created. Individuality was never the problem. The problem was the desire not to share anything. It was the opposition to the oneness and produced the ego. The ego then is simply "selfishness", or unwillingness to share.
"Selfishness is of the ego but self-fullness is of the Soul because that is how He created it."
So in fact we are supposed to be full of self. But self is shared. Self is Christ - a shared identification as the one son. We are each the whole. When you are full of the whole, you are full of self. And that also means the entire Kingdom of God is you.
"The Kingdom CANNOT be found alone, and you who ARE the Kingdom cannot find YOURSELVES alone."
"You ARE the Kingdom of Heaven, but you have let the belief in darkness enter your minds, and so you need a new light."
"We are Creation; we the Sons of God."
So we don't want to be getting rid of anything God created. We don't want to be undoing individuality - provided it's an individuality that is also shared with others. We don't want to be destroying all identity or eradicating self - provided the self also includes other selves.
It's also worth nothing that we do not want to be getting rid of mind. There is no such thing as an ego mind or a wrong mind. There is only mind as God created it. And sometimes mind is sane and sometimes mind is insane. When it is insane it is being egotistical. The egotism needs correction so that that same mind can return to sanity. We do not destroy minds, we heal them.
What we DO want to be rid of is the sense of separation. Separation isn't what gave us individuality, nor led to many beings. Separation is what happens when you take the holographic system of heaven and you draw a little fence around the part that you regard as your self or soul, and you "separate it off" as though it is exclusive and isolated and alone.
This later leads to the physical fence around the mind that we call the body. It's kind of like a little prison. So one thing we do want to get rid of is the sense of imprisonment in a body, which we do by not identifying with it and not believing it. But more broadly we want to be getting rid of any sense of exclusiveness.
In God, everything belongs to everyone, and you DO own what you've been given, but you do not own it EXCLUSIVELY. You have to share it. It's like a communal property. Even your SELF is shared and not exclusively yours. When you develop a sense of owning something that ONLY you have, or lacking something that others have, that's ego.
This becomes a little tricky then because we have to let go of the idea of exclusively owning anything, which to the ego implies we own nothing (wrongly), while still keeping ownership of everything. We are not being asked to get rid of everything, we're being asked to stop trying to posses it like it's only ours or only for ourself, as if it has only your name on it and no-one else can have it.
You could say, well, let's get rid of anything personal. Because "personal", similar to "private", tends to be an idea of something that is exclusively yours, or a form of exclusion. But you have to be careful here because personal becomes bound to "the person" and getting rid of anything personal can imply (to wrong thinking) that you have to get rid of your self. You want to incorporate the oneness of the whole but without denying yourself.
What we do want to be free from is exclusivity, selfishness, possession, exclusive ownership, hoarding, lack and poverty, not sharing, a desire not to include others in one's sense of identity, being separated off by a wall of flesh, seeing ourselves as having anything at all that others don't have, any sense of inequality, any isolation or aloneness or sense that you exist inside a body prison, any notion that what's best for others has nothing to do with what's best for you, and any sense of pride or specialness as if you are better or worse than another.
Any kind of "wall" has to go, and as the walls go the separations go. And this does NOT mean (wrong thinking again) that this leads to a oneness in which you stop existing as a self. It does lead to oneness, but oneness means SHARING and relationship and community and being God's family. All that should happen to your self is it should EXPAND TO INCLUDE the whole and all others, while still being a self. It sounds like a paradox to the ego but it's how things are set up in creation.
None of this has anything to do with getting rid of yourself or your sense of being an individual, but it does entail weeding out the aspects of individuality that hint at "I'm different to you". The elements of "self" that have become infected with "mine alone" and "not yours" and "you not me" and the various other forms of exclusivity.
The sense of self has to be PURIFIED of the egoic elements, so that you end up with a PURE SELF, a whole self, which contains the whole, is identified with the shared Christ identity, contains all brothers and the entire Kingdom and all of creation, and is one with God as well. That means recognizing that the entirety of heaven is in you, God is in you, all brothers are in you, and you are everyone and everything, including yourself.
"Every mind contains all minds, for every mind is one. Such is the truth."
In A Course in Miracles, we are taught in many ways that we are all one. By this we mean, that God created an entire family, a sonship, comprising many individual beings, who simultaneously are individual and one. Each Son of God is all the Sons of God, as the One Son. "One brother is all brothers."
This means we have a kind of collective consciousness or "hive mind". The Christ Mind is this shared mind, which each individual mind created by God is merged and identified with. This means that anything in one mind, is also in another. Any form of healing is experienced by everyone. And everything you give or do affects everyone.
It also means you are not really an isolated, separated off stranger, who stands alone and has private personal experiences. This is why there are no private thoughts. The body is the idea that you are disconnected from everyone. But relationship re-establishes that you share and are joined, with the whole sonship. In fact you ARE the whole sonship. Part of you is in EVERY child of God.
In truth then, it is not possible for you to do or think or feel anything without it in some way influencing or being shared by THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. Every attitude you have affects everyone. Every thought is heard by all. We are all plugged into a giant psychological web, sort of like a holographic internet. And everyone has access all the time to everything.
When Jesus accomplished the resurrection and ascension, he DID IN fact accomplish it for and with ALL of us. We could not be excluded from it, and all of us are a part of it. The atonement IS about sharing and is a collective relationship between an individual and THE WHOLE.
"The Atonement is a lesson in sharing, which is given you because YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN HOW TO DO IT. The Holy Spirit merely reminds you of what is your NATURAL ability."
When Jesus resurrected and ascended, a "part of" all of us MUST have done this as well. The part of Jesus that is IN you, which IS you, accomplished this. Jesus had to basically plug into and accept the parts of him that are in all of us, shared with and one with us, knowing us AS himself, in order to accept atonement fully. Therefore his awakening did in fact wake all of us up, to some degree. He plugged us ALL back into God.
Each individual mind in the collective has its own will. So what does that mean when someone chooses to rise into the light? It means everyone else must be pulled upward at least a little, even if they themselves are pulling the whole sonship down. Some light MUST enter their minds, because the light in Jesus's mind is in ALL minds.
When Jesus accomplished this, we were ALL illuminated and enlightened to some degree, and some part of us knows this. And each time YOU heal or resurrect or think well of yourself and others, you ARE resurrecting the whole sonship. Part of you IS Jesus, and IS already awake in heaven. And as each person chooses the atonement, it is being chosen on behalf of everyone.
"You WERE in darkness until God's Will was done completely by ANY part of the Sonship. When it was, it was perfectly accomplished by ALL. How else could it BE perfectly accomplished? My mission was simply to UNITE the Will of the Sonship WITH the Will of the Father by being aware of the Father's Will myself. This is the awareness I came to give YOU, and YOUR problem in accepting it IS the problem of this world. Dispelling it is salvation, and in this sense I AM the salvation of the world."
"Then turn to one who laid all limits by, and went beyond the farthest reach of learning. He will take you with him, for he did not go alone. And you were with him then, as you are now."
"I ask for your forgiveness, for if YOU are guilty, so must I be. And if I surmounted guilt and overcame the world, you were WITH me."
"A miracle is never lost. It touches many people you may not even know, and sometimes produces undreamed of changes in forces of which you are not even aware."
"I am alone in nothing. Everything I think or say or do touches all the universe. A Son of God cannot think or speak or act in vain. He cannot be alone in anything. It is therefore in my power to change every mind along with mine, for mine is the power of God."
"To heal, or to make joyous, is therefore the same as to integrate and MAKE ONE. That is why it makes no difference TO what part or BY what part of the Sonship the healing is done. EVERY part benefits, and benefits equally. YOU are being blessed by every beneficent thought of any of your brothers anywhere. You should want to bless them in return, out of gratitude."
"When I am healed I am not healed alone.
And I would share my healing with the world"
"I am in charge of the process of Atonement, which I undertook to begin. My Atonement was for the canceling out of all sins (i.e., lack of love) which human beings could not otherwise correct. That is what the Biblical statement "underneath are the Everlasting Arms" means. (Helen Schucman explanation: This means that He will backstop whenever human miracles will not suffice for atonement purposes. However, it is perfectly clear that when a person can atone by miracles, both giver and receiver are atoning. It is better to atone this way because of the mutual benefits involved.)"Inasmuch as you do it unto the least of these, my children" really ends with "you do it unto yourself and ME." The reason why YOU come before me is because I do not need miracles for my own Atonement, but I stand at the end in case YOU fail temporarily."
"It is impossible that anyone be healed alone. In sickness must he be apart and separate. But healing is his own decision to be one again, and to accept his Self with all its parts intact and unassailed. In sickness does his Self appear to be dismembered and without the unity which gives It life. But healing is accomplished as he sees the body has no power to attack the universal Oneness of God's Son."
"And as you let yourself be healed, you see all those around you, or who cross your mind, or whom you touch, or those who seem to have no contact with you, healed along with you. Perhaps you will not recognize them all, nor realize how great your offering to all the world, when you let healing come to you. But you are never healed alone. And legions upon legions will receive the gift which you receive when you are healed."
"No-one is healed alone. This is the joyous song salvation sings to all who hear its Voice."
"I can help because the world is illusion, and I have overcome the world. Look past the tomb, the body, the illusion. Have faith in nothing but the spirit and the guidance God gives you. He could not have created the body because it is a limit. He must have created the spirit because it is immortal."
Sometimes it's very hard to forgive someone. You become fixated on what they did to you, or what they were supposed to do that they didn't do. And sometimes this might've been something that occurred over a very long period of time, such that you can't even imagine life without this grievance. You just can't see how you can forgive this person.
This way of perceiving someone is very hard to get past especially if the person is important or valuable to you. And especially if your involvement with them has been largely a 'special relationship', or a victim/victimizer role. When all your focus is on how they affected you, you become blocked and unconscious as if there is no other way of looking at this.
So there you are, your mind is fixated on this person, on what they did to hurt you, and you just can't seem to get past this experience. One thing you do need to do is allow yourself to FEEL the feelings that have arisen as a result of what seemed to happen. By not feeling it you are in profound denial. Never mind that you had anything to do with how you perceive the situation, but to even deny that you feel hurt at all is a whole other layer of denial on top of it. Pretending it didn't happen when your whole being is screaming that 'it did' is an attempt to protect yourself from it, to hide it in order to pretend it is healed. But it does not go away, and it will eat a hole in you until you acknowledge it.
So as you gather a little willingness to explore 'healing', you can begin to at first allow yourself to acknowledge more of yourself, of what you are, and of what you believe has happened to you. Let yourself feel. The feeling has to come up for release. Up and out. This isn't necessarily forgiveness, but it is a form of catharsis to release old stuck energies which do obscure your perception. It's hard to see someone with innocence or calm when you're really feeling angry and hurt. Acknowledging and feeling the feelings, by FEELING them, not describing them, is a step forward in your healing.
Once some of that is past, you have cleared the way to experience a new way of perceiving. You may already have experienced cognitive shifts as a result of releasing emotion, like clouds clearing away which expose the sun. But you need to go deeper. Because this whole dynamic of "they did this to me" leaves you a victim, and if you stay there, you are stuck. Almost all feelings besides LOVE arise from perceiving yourself unfairly treated, or outright hurt. Fears, doubts, anger, hurt, suffering, pain, embarrassment, abandonment, etc all arise from 'its happening to me'. You need to move past this way of looking at the situation. But this is where it's hard, because it requires some form of detachment or greater perspective.
This is where Holy Spirit comes in because you're now willing to change your mind/perception about what happened and potentially see it differently, even if you can't yet see how that's possible. Until you take that inward journey you won't discover the answers and clarity that you need. You must seek reunion with God by joining with Holy Spirit and asking for His Help to overlook the way you've been seeing.
Now, what you have to get past is the belief and perception that ALL of your upset is the direct result of, and put there by, the other person. That it's their fault. That they are the sole cause. That you did absolutely nothing to ask for it at any time. That's irresponsibility. You MUST take some responsibility, even if a little at first. You can't be free from the victim role if you are not responsible. So let yourself be a little willing, however small, to open up to the possibility that there might be another way to look at this. Maybe you participated somehow. Maybe you made a decision or chose a way of experiencing the situation, which resulted in the evidence of hurt that you're left with.
Maybe you choose to AGREE with what the person was doing. Maybe you choose to BELIEVE that you deserved the treatment they gave. Maybe you chose to change your own sense of who you are, based on what they seemed to demonstrate was true of you. Maybe at some point in between what they 'offered' and what you 'took' from what happened, there was a little interval of choice where you came to your OWN CONCLUSION about what this means. Maybe you therefore did this formation of a false belief to yourself, USING the situation by taking it personally. Your belief in it, your agreement with it, your perception that it is the truth having lost sight of the real truth about you, WAS the 'attack' that you perpetrated against yourself, regardless of what the person modeled for you.
Ultimately you're 100% responsible for choosing. You made up the belief you're left with, on your own. Maybe you didn't know any better. Maybe you were too young. Maybe you forgot you are unconditionally lovable. Maybe nobody told you and you lost track of who you really are. But if you're 100% responsible for AGREEING to this punishment, then you also have the POWER to "choose again". And you can do that at any time that you are willing to admit to choosing this belief, and being willing to SURRENDER it to Holy Spirit, because it is simply false.
But you can't tell a belief is false just by saying it is. You need to know what is true. You need to transfer your allegiance and faith. You need to therefore open up to a greater truth, perhaps reminding yourself of what is true of you, or how God views you, or what God thinks of this false belief, or how Holy Spirit sees you in His Light. Ultimately, to FORGIVE, you need to get `into` the light of the Holy Spirit, at least a little bit, so that it can "shed light" on your belief and SHOW YOU that it is false. False beliefs simply ARE false, and you only need to see them clearly to recognize this. It's not seeing them clearly that makes you trust them. In the light of forgiveness you can witness the obvious fact that what you thought was true of you, is completely untrue, and THEN you will be perfectly willing to let it go. You'll know it was a ridiculous, untrue belief, not in line with the Truth of God. Or in other words, you'll see the VALUE of the real truth about you, and the LACK of value of what is false, and therefore RECOGNIZE that what is false does not even apply to you.
It doesn't apply to you. Because you're innocent and holy and forgiven already. You're loved by God. You're safe. You're at peace. You're with Holy Spirit. You're whole and healed. That's the truth. This event never happened. The person never really did anything to you. You did this to yourself and now you can see that you don't want to keep doing so. So you surrender. You surrender the false sense that is MADE FROM this false belief.. this false identity that isn't a true description of you. It wasn't really who you are anyway.
Then you remember who you are as God's Innocent Child and receive HEALING.
A belief in separation takes place within your own mind. Your own mind becomes divided. A portion of your will goes into one part and the rest into another. Eventually this forms the conscious self and the unconscious self.
Separation leads to a splitting out of cause from effect, receiving from giving, and other from self. But because it splits the will, it results in two opposing wills which do not see things the same way.
"Being in two minds" means having an ego mind - a divided mind at war with itself. It must produce indecision and an inability to resolve conflict. It in fact must produce conflict, because one part of will is acting to cancel out the other. This creates a standoff, or a stalemate, or a situation of simultaneous push and pull.
The result of two wills acting against one another in opposite directions is that they will cancel the effects of each other and create a paralysis. One will tries to move in a given direction, the other will stops it. The other will tries to move in a given direction, the first will stops it. Nothing happens.
With two opposing wills trying to operate at the same time, there must conflict - an inner war with yourself. You will thwart everything you try to express. This conflict is literally the same thing as insanity, because the single whole mind is attempting to achieve two opposite and incompatible goals at the same time. It produces impossibility - which is the opposite of the possible. Miracles are another name for possibility. And with God, all things are possible.
When you are in this world and are in two minds, ie you have an ego and therefore two wills, you are literally against yourself. You are experiencing self attack. Your will and ambitions will be thwarted, sabotaged and undermined. You will become "stuck", ineffective, powerless and frozen.
Ultimately this leads to fear which will stop you in your tracks. Fear is a state of intensely experiencing separation between yourself and yourself, where one part of you seems like you and the rest seems like a separate enemy. Fear is paralyzing. It puts a freeze on action, it strips both parts of mind of all power, collapses the power of will and is an attempt to extinguish yourself.
No wonder then that when your mind is split, you cannot manifest miracles, you cannot see yourself as sharing God's power, you do not see yourself as causal, and every time you try to even perform a miracle it becomes thwarted and nothing seems to happen. You get used to this mode of being un-mraculous, believing it is normal to have no power over anything.
The only reason you can't make objects move, raise the dead, heal the sick, levitate or whatever else, is because your mind and heart is not WHOLE, with a single focus or goal. It is divided against itself. You try to cause stuff to happen, but the rest of you tries to stop it.
A simple example is that you attempt to produce a miracle but you "ask" for something to change, you fear that it won't change, you have doubt about seeing results, you look to form to change to see if something worked, and generally undermine yourself. You waver. You lose sight of the truth. You listen to other people's doubts and buy into the appearance that it isn't working. You listen to the ego. And this basically cancels your efforts.
But you'll think that all of these things are happening against your will or that you're really trying hard to make this miracle happen. PART of you is. ONE of your wills is. But you have another separated will - part 2 - which you are still actually USING, albeit largely unconsciously, to sabotage your efforts.
Your belief in fear splits your will. Your belief in a lack of authority splits your will. Your belief in not being completely causal, or not having power over anything, splits your mind. If your mind becomes split like this, you are literally working against yourself. One hand is reaching to express a miracle, the other quickly wrestles with it and stops it. Not physically, but in your mind and perception.
To work miracles requires an allegiance to the truth, and a loyalty and clarity about staying true to it no matter what illusions present. Holding fast regardless of things appearing to not work, or even if they seem to become worse. Is it the truth? No. But if you take it in and make it real, that's you using the other half of your will against yourself.
The only reason that a miracle won't happen, effectively, is because you stopped being causal and turned yourself into an effect. You paralyzed yourself - dis-empowered yourself. It is your false perceptions which strip you of your sharing of God's power. You can't work miracles when you're divided against yourself and thus God. It's like asking God to stop flowing. It means you do not really know what you want, and uncertainty does not produce the certainty of God's power.
Another way of saying that is that when your mind/will is split, you are asking for two things at once, which is like asking for nothing clearly at all. So you get nothing, or you "mis-create", and end up with effects that you don't think you asked for.
When you "ask" by focusing on only one thing, wholly and clearly, it must be given you. Therefore realize if the only thing stopping your miracles was your own divided will, once your will, mind and heart are whole, you will not stop yourself, and no-one else has any power to do so either. Anything is possible.
Being so used to having a split will, which renders us practically powerless and inept, we are not accustomed to being solely causal. We are not used to the power of the mind when it is expresses in one direction, with one intention, one focus, one belief, one thought, one love. We are not accustomed to giving and receiving being one. And we are not used to having so much authority over illusions.
The mind has massive creative power. It never stops being creative, Jesus says. It's just that we keep using it against itself and thus keep mis-creating, producing effects which conflict with part of what we asked for, or we create things which attack ourselves, or things which seem unwanted or a mistake. There are no mistakes. You ARE getting what you're asking for, it's just that you keep asking from a confused state of not really knowing what you want.
What happens when you cause and you do not stop yourself? You create. That's what produces miracles, manifestations, signs, healings, wonders, etc. Jesus was masterful at this, coming from such a state of pure love that He could express all of God's power, undivided, certain, with great authority, and there was nothing He could not do. You can be this way also.
I asked Holy Spirit how better to produce miracles. He said, "be truth." Truth is absolute. All or nothing. Commitment. Certainty. Confidence. Authority. Power.
Here is today's bombshell of truth.
The entire physical universe is a game, designed by the ego, which is impossible to win. Anyone who plays the game will die. Period.
The game has only one rule. If you believe in the game and try to play it, you will die. There is no way to play it and win.
If you think that you can play the game in some kind of special way, using some kind of special abilities or skills or knowledge or workarounds or talents or aptitude or cleverness or creativity or whatever, you will become delusional, and you will die.
If you think you can play the game in a certain way by taking sides with certain apparent powers, by teaming up with those who seem to be winning, by avoiding certain obstacles or traps, by being at war with enemies and getting rid of them, by being very very careful not to have anything bad happen to you, or any other strategy whatsoever, ALL of those strategies WILL NOT WORK, and you will die.
If you think you can outsmart the game and section off a small part of the environment to protect and defend you, or that having certain behaviors will ensure your safety, or that wearing certain clothes or embarking on certain activities will change your chances, you are delusional, and you will die.
The instruction manual for the ego's game of "life and death", which has a subheading "actually, its just death", reads: "all players will die." That's it. At least it doesn't take 5 hours to learn like some games.
The ego's primary game is a game of separation. It is a game of emphasizing differences. It is a game of attempting to separate out one thing from another in as intense and believable a way as possible. It does not care whatsoever what the qualities of each part are, so long as they seem separate.
The game's primary function is temptation. It is designed to tempt you to believe that the appearance of difference or separation between things is real. If you fall for it, you fall for the trap, and you will die. If you look at two parts of the environment and you find yourself siding with or against either of them, not recognizing that they are BOTH PART OF THE SAME GAME, you will fail, and you will die. The instant you feel sorry for some part, or are against another part, or put one part on a pedestal, or buy into any kind of SPECIALNESS, you will die.
The devious, diabolical fact of the game is, anyone who falls for the illusion of difference and separation WILL SUFFER AND DIE, because they have been tricked into making themselves LESS THAN WHOLE, and therefore have diminished who and what they are, and this is DEATH.
So within the ego's game, it does not matter AT ALL, in any state of war and conflict, who wins or loses, who is right or wrong, good or bad, innocent or guilty, or any of it. If you buy into the belief that the good/innocent/righteous people are correct and the bad/wrong/guilty people are not, YOU FELL FOR IT HOOK LINE AND SINKER AND YOU WILL DIE.
The ego itself is the puppet master which disguises itself in the costume and form of every single thing which shows up in the game. It is secretly the identity behind every individual, every form, every event which happens, and every illusion of difference. It will play both sides against each other, playing itself against itself. It will take the role of savior and fixer and helper and carer and lover JUST SO THAT it can be victimized by someone else, SO THAT you will buy into the illusion that the other person was the sinner and not this one. AND THEN YOU WILL DIE, because you failed the test.
Illusions of better/worse, right/wrong, good/bad, more spiritual/less spiritual, more ego/less ego, are TRAPS. Illusions of people who seem innocent but who are still vulnerable, are traps. Illusions of people suffering and being sick against their will are traps. Illusions of bad things happening are traps. Illusions of unwanted terrible weather events are traps. Illusions of acts of nature, God's wrath, war, disagreement of all kinds, marital tension, sexual tension, hate, violence, condemnation, judgementalism, taking sides in a sports match, liking someone more than another, loving someone more than another, IS A TRAP, AND YOU WILL DIE.
This entire world, everything you see in the world, all people, all objects, all places, all events, all circumstances, all situations, all stories, are all DOOMED to condemn you to death IF you buy into them whatsoever.
No-one wins here. No-one actually pulls off a win, which would be a win against God. No-one achieves the FICTION of getting away with murder, being able to do something to someone else without receiving the effects, being able to have someone else make you die against your will, or suffering without choosing it. There are no winners in any argument or war. To believe in the war itself IS LOSS. To believe in enemies at all MAKES YOU WEAK. To side with the little victims MAKES YOU SUFFER. You cannot escape the game this way. You cannot just shift yourself into one safe-seeming corner of life where you cower and hope that all the bad shit doesn't come your way.
There is only one way to escape the game, one way to overcome its rules, and only one way to play it correctly to your advantage. The ONLY advantage is NOT TO PLAY IT AT ALL. This is what you have to learn. You have to see all illusions for what they are, tools for separation. This includes all "life forms" (death forms) in this world. They are all forms of separation, forms of error, forms of sin. They are not holy. That they appear at all, and that you believe you really see them, is your choice to die.
This entire world is a picture of the crucifixion of God's Son. There is NO PART OF IT which is not an attempt to kill you. Every trap will present itself and you will fall for all of them until you learn to overlook them all and attain Atonement/forgiveness. The world is not escaped by death, or by winning, or by making your best effort to avoid death, or by trying to bend the rules, or by thinking you're so great that you can go outside the lines and succeed on your own terms. YOU WILL FAIL, GUARANTEED, and you will die. The world - the entire ego's game - is only escaped by TRUTH.
Only truth will set you free. Only truth will show you the ego's game in plain sight, with all its diabolical devious designs and all of its traps and purposes and attempts to tempt you into it. Only the truth will allow you to see in the true light, the true nature of the temptation. Only the truth will keep you protected and safe. Only the truth will guide you out of the dream of death. Only the truth will allow you to live forever.