Sometimes you may not realize that you are being a victim, particularly if you are angry.
A person becomes angry as a reaction to the perception that something has happened to them that they didn't seem to choose.
The perception of things happening outside of your will, is victimhood, and usually entails some 'other' source or person that 'causes' the situation. And since they seemed to choose it 'for you', you see yourself as being unfairly or unjustly treated.
Then you believe that your anger is justified because you see yourself as 'innocent', i.e. it's not you that's wrong, but the other.
Whenever it is the other that is wrong, i.e. you are angry at them for any reason, believing they have done something, you ARE in victimhood.
Now, it may not seem like victimhood, because we may usually think of victimhood as when you feel afraid or you've been attacked and are hurt or whatever. But if you're in anger, you definitely are experiencing and perceiving yourself as a victim, or as having been victimized.
Anger comes out of the hurt. Anger comes out of the victimization.
You may not realize that being angry is being a victim, because the anger turns into victimization or outward attack/retaliation, which makes it feel like you are 'empowered' or 'rising up against' the oppressor, which gives you a false sense of being justified in making THEM a victim, which conceals the fact that if you are angry, you DO perceive yourself as a victim and are playing a victim role.
This absolutely REQUIRES that you, cooperatively, willingly, and freely, have actually chosen to go along with the perception of seeing the situatuation in such a way, that you look like you've been victimized. It requires your own mind to look at the role you're playing in the situation, and to conclude that you didn't ask for this. this is of course grossly mistaken because you cannot be an unwilling victim. I know that is incredibly controversial and maybe hard to accept, but the mind actually USES situations to position you as victimizable and attacked, because it has motives that run much deeper than just this situation (such as the death wish, or the desire to be unconscious).
So as the Course says, "anger is NEVER justified".
It's never justified because nothing ever happens to you against your will. And you MUST have chosen to perceive yourself as being in a 'victim dynamic' in order for you to then experience the reaction to that perception, which manifests as anger or righteousness.
So yes. If you are angry and upset in any way, you MUST be believing you are a victim, and probably you are blaming the other person, and probably you are not admitting honestly the part that you play in this.
It requires tremendous HONESTY to be able to realize and admit not only that you are angry because YOU CHOOSE TO BE, and not only that you're angry because YOU VICTIMIZED YOURSELF through your false perception, but also to be honest enough to admit that IF you do not choose to see yourself in this 'role' or 'relationship' to 'other', then you CANNOT experience yourself as a victim and therefore cannot be angry.
I myself did not realize that being angry was being a victim, until Jesus pointed this out. And if you see yourself as victimized, your anger WILL turn into victimization quite quickly. Then you will retaliate. That's what anger is, a retaliation (reaction) against a perceived mis-treatment. But you can never be mis-treated. If you see yourself mis-treated, you are mistaken in your perception and you are unaware of the power of your own mind.
Years ago I had no clue what "atonement" meant, other than being able to quote the Course as saying "nothing happened". This was more or less meaningless to me.
I went about my efforts at "forgiveness" and made some headway but it wasn't until recently that I started to realize just how important the Atonement is.
If you were to do nothing else other than to accept the Atonement, that would be all you need to do. It encapsulates all of forgiveness within it. It shares the same mind of Holy Spirit that forgiveness shares.
Previously I was not really "accepting" that nothing had happened. I tried to tell myself "this hasn't really happened", but it would seem fake and not believable. It didn't even seem especially important or powerful or capable of helping very much - just one more handy phrase to throw at the illusion of being attacked by the world to try to make it go away.
But the atonement IS the cure. It IS salvation. It IS the state of mind in which all has been forgiven and undone. It IS a reflection of your true nature and your innocence. In it ,your innocence is guaranteed and expressed. It is the light which shines away all darkness. It is the beacon of truth and the source of extending miracles as an expression of love.
I could not accept it before because I didn't really know what role it was supposed to play other than some intellectual fact about how none of this happened. I just couldn't accept that nothing had happened. Too much was tied up in illusions seeming to be real. I was too much in belief that I was dealing with a real world with real problems. Even after "doing a forgiveness" I would not be accepting the atonement, not really actually convinced of it or able to genuinely ACCEPT that it was true. And to experience it.
But we must get ourselves into the Atonement if we are to be free of the ego, free of illusions, and free of death. It's not an optional thing. It's MAJOR. It's the doorway home.
The secret to salvation, or the key to salvation, is said to be that "you are doing this to yourself". That concept is like a key that opens the door, because it reveals to you a way to access the Atonement. But it is itself not the Atonement. As an analogy, it is the key, which helps us to access the Atonement, but the Atonement itself is what lies on the other side of the door that the key opens.
Until we can get our mind to the place where we BELIEVE that fear is not real, guilt is not real, sin is not real, separation is not real, and REMEMBER that in God's view we are still completely innocent and MUST be forgiven and lovable/worthy of God, only then are we able to actually ACCEPT, and agree with, and align ourselves with, what the Atonement claims is true.
Only then can we even see, accept, or experience, that all the illusions we thought had really happened did not really happen (due to their unreality), and that therefore we ARE still as God created us. We have to take forgiveness all the way to this truth in order to complete the process and gain access TO a state of forgiveness, in which we and others are seen as FORGIVEN, having done nothing at all. Literally. That literally nothing happened in reality.
Then we will be WILLING to accept and receive God's love again, and share and extend it to others as miracles.
Years ago I did a miracle kind of by accident. I didn't even really know how I did this or why, it just kind of happened.
I had this box which had coins in it. I'd used up all the larger-denomination coins and there was only like 1 and 2 pence pieces left (British currency). I knew there was basically nothing in there besides this. I'd sifted through it several times and totally extracted all the good stuff.
But for some reason that day, I needed a couple of `pounds`, and was for some reason in a different state of mind. I kept having this feeling of insisting that there MUST be more money in there somewhere. I turned through the coins with my fingers, looking for it. For probably 30 seconds there was nothing, and I knew from previous checks that I wouldn't find anything. But, something in me was becoming very insistent.
I kept saying to myself, there MUST be some money in here. I built up this kind of ... I don't know if expectation is the word, it wasn't like having a sense of anticipation and then waiting, it was more like, an insistence, or a demand. I demanded that there be money, that this was TRUE, and that it simply must be. For some reason I wasn't paying attention to what my eyes were showing me, I was defying it and insisting there must be something there.
I don't know how I managed to ignore the ego at this point, because normally I would've been like, well, I know there is no higher denominations in there, I would trust my eyes and trust my previous experiences and just stop right there. But this time for some reason I was more miracle minded, and kept on probing the pile of coins insisting that there must be decent money in there.
And then, suddenly, two gold-colored 1-pound coins suddenly appeared out of nowhere. These are in striking contrast to the other coins because the 1 and 2 pence pieces are a dark brown bronze color. The shiny gold-colored coins were suddenly there at my fingertips. They didn't show up because they were hiding, they simply did not exist before. But somehow, they suddenly appeared. They manifested out of thin air.
I think at the time my mindset didn't seem that phased by this, like it seemed kind of natural or something. It didn't shock me. I also did not repeat it, or even attempt to. It didn't seem out of the ordinary, it's just how I was functioning somehow. It seemed to make sense and I just used the money as intended. It hasn't been until looking back on the event that I realized more that this was a miraculous manifestation and that I was doing something with my mind which was not typical.
This really is the tip of the iceberg of what the mind can do. It's going to be fun opening up to more of this.
Some miracle-working basics are embedded in this story....
1) expecting/demanding/insisting/knowing/requiring that the result must happen
2) ignoring all "better judgement" or ego knowledge or even visual evidence
3) being persistent and consistent and not taking no for an answer - you have to kind of resolve to be "done with" tolerating the conditions that are present and resolve to be 100% determined that it MUST change.
Jesus has said in the Course that when the mind is used to focus thought, combined with strong/firm belief, a huge surge of power results which has the power to literally move mountains. Bring it on! This is what miracles really are all about. Ignoring the ego and bringing forth supernatural results.
"That is why rehabilitation is a collaborative venture. I can tell you what to DO, but this will not really help you unless you collaborate by believing that I know what to do. Only then will your MIND will to follow me."
"Without your will, you cannot be rehabilitated. MOTIVATION TO BE HEALED is the crucial factor in rehabilitation. Without this, you are deciding against healing, and your veto of my will FOR you MAKES HEALING IMPOSSIBLE. If healing IS our joint will, unless our wills are joined you CANNOT be healed."
"Your will is the means by which you determine your own condition, because will is the MECHANISM OF DECISION."
"My will cannot overcome yours, because YOURS IS AS POWERFUL AS MINE. If it were not so, the Sons of God would be unequal."
"Your will is as free as mine, and God Himself would not go against it. I cannot will what God does not will. I CAN offer you my will to make yours invincible by this sharing, but I CANNOT oppose yours without competing with it and thereby violating God’s Will for you."
"If you want to be LIKE me, I will help you, knowing that we are alike. If you want to be DIFFERENT, I will wait until you change your mind. I can teach you, but only you can choose to listen to my teaching. How else can it be, if God’s Kingdom is freedom?"
"Freedom cannot be learned by tyranny of ANY kind, and the perfect equality of all God’s Sons cannot be recognized through the dominion of one will over another. God’s Sons are equal in will."
"Join then with me in praise of Him and you whom He created. This is our gift of gratitude to Him, which He will share with all His Creations, to whom He gives equally whatever is acceptable to Him. Because it is acceptable to Him, it is the gift of freedom, which is His Will for all His Sons."
"By offering freedom you will be free, because freedom is the only gift which you can offer to God’s Sons, being an acknowledgment of what they are and what He is."
"Freedom is creation because it is love. What you seek to imprison you do not love. Therefore, when you seek to imprison ANYONE, including YOURSELF, you do not love him and you cannot identify with him."
"Alone we can do nothing, but TOGTHER our wills fuse into something whose power is far beyond the power of its separate parts."
"By NOT BEING SEPARATE, the Will of God is established in ours and as ours. This will is invincible because it is undivided. "
"But to heal is still to make whole. Therefore to heal is to unite with those who are LIKE you, because perceiving this likeness is to recognize the Father."
"Glory be to the union of God and His Holy Sons, because all glory lies IN them because they ARE united."
"The miracles WE do bear witness to the Will of the Father for His Son, and to our joy in uniting with His Will FOR us. When you unite with me, you are uniting without the ego, because I have renounced the ego in myself, and therefore cannot unite with yours. Our union is therefore the way to renounce the ego in yourself."
"I bring His Peace back to all His Children, because I received it of Him for us all."
"The Holy Spirit has one direction for all minds, and the one He taught me IS yours."
"We begin the journey back by setting out TOGETHER, and gather in our brothers as we CONTINUE together."
If you are affected in any way, it is not YOU who is affected, it is an illusion (body etc). And if it is affected in any way, you are trying to use it to prove you can be affected. You cannot be affected, you are immortal. So you're faking it, and it's pointless. You can't change the fact you are immortal, ever. Your permanence is guaranteed.
"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No-one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are. As you perceive the harmlessness in them, they will accept your holy will as theirs. And what was seen as fearful now becomes a source of innocence and holiness."
"He can see no evil; nothing in the world to fear, and no-one who is different from himself."
"The world you see is an illusion of a world. God did not create it, for what He creates must be eternal as Himself. Yet there is nothing in the world you see that will endure forever. Some things will last in time a little while longer than others. But the time will come when all things visible will have an end."
"I am not the victim of the world I see."
"It is but an effect that YOU have caused, and you would not BE cause of this effect."
"And yet the world, as causeless, has no power to cause. As an effect it cannot make effects. "
""My Self is ruler of the universe." - It is impossible that anything should come to me unbidden by myself. Even in this world, it is I who rule my destiny. What happens is what I desire. What does not occur is what I do not want to happen."
"If the mind can heal the body, but the body cannot heal the mind, then the mind must be STRONGER. Every miracle demonstrates this."
"He MUST deny the world of pain, the instant he perceives the arms of love around him. "
"This world you see MUST BE DENIED, for sight of it is costing you a different kind of vision. YOU CANNOT SEE BOTH WORLDS. For each of them involves a different kind of seeing, and depends on what you cherish. The sight of one is possible because you have DENIED THE OTHER. ... Both are not true, yet either one will seem as real to you, as the amount to which you hold it dear. And yet their power is NOT the same, because their real attraction to you IS unequal. You do not really want the world you see, for it has disappointed you since time began. The homes you built have never sheltered you. The roads you made have led you nowhere, and no city that you built has withstood the crumbling assault of time. Nothing you made but has the mark of death upon it. Hold it not dear, for it is old and tired, and ready to return to dust even as you made it. ...This aching world has not the power to touch the living world at all."
"You cannot be hurt unless you hurt yourself."
"You are immortal and you cannot die. But you can confuse yourself with things that do."
"I am not afraid but all powerful."
"That is why the healer's prayer is, "let me know this brother as I know myself."
In truth we are all part of a collective family. It's like a kind of collective consciousness or hive mind. We each have full access to everyone and our minds are joined. Our identity is shared as the one Christ, the "one Son" of God. We share everything and are everything and have everything all at once.
This means your brother is a part of yourself. A part of your actual being and soul, a part of your identity. Not that when the two of you meet you annihilate the fact that you have your own soul and they theirs, but your souls join and merge into a oneness so deep there is no exclusion between you.
ACIM is literally trying to get us to remember that WE are shared beings. Our minds overlap. Our identity isn't supposed to be exclusive, special, isolated or different to others. There aren't supposed to be special rules that apply only to myself, or special truths that apply only to you.
We are asked to remember and re-access a shared state, a truly shared open intimate state, in which we literally experience each other as a part of ourselves. That we actually recognize and see "what I am" within other people. There is something in you and something in me which is the same one thing. And this is reflected in the Holy Spirit, who is in both our minds, keeping them joined as one.
You have to learn to recognize that other people are part of yourself. Your neighbor is you. Your friends and relatives are you. Your family and loved ones are you. Even strangers and people in far off lands are you.
In order to tap into this unity and reunite with yourself and with others, with whom you have been estranged and at war, it requires you to become more inclusive. It also requires you to expand your sense of identity - the sense of who you are, what you are, what is included in yourself, and where the boundaries of your identity are. In fact, ultimately you are the whole universe.
When the boundaries of your identity stop at the body, or the identity of others is confined to a physical form, you are in separation. If mind believes and perceives itself to be excluded from other minds by a body separation-device, it does not know itself. To regard others as "not me" is to regard yourself as "not you". You do not know yourself in truth when you do not know your brother IS yourself.
We have to expand our minds, expand our sense of self, expand our idea of what is included within ourselves. Only if your brother's interests become part of your own can you have shared interests. And only when they are part of you will you value them as much as yourself.
Miracles require a joining of minds, a reuniting with a brother, a shared identity, an openness and intimacy of relationship. If you think that two bodies being together is intimate, you have not seen anything yet. To transcend bodies and join in mind in total absorption and merging and oneness is an intimacy beyond any physical contact you can ever imagine. And that is a holy relationship and the way to work miracles.
Jesus is asking us to love ALL BEINGS. The only way to love all beings truly is to include and welcome them into yourself, to recognize and actually experience that they are a part of yourself, and know them as part of you. It is not merely a matter of trying to love some strange person that you don't really know. It is more a matter of merging with them so fully that they are literally a part of you and you love them because they are in no way rejected from your own being.
Total union is the way to know who they really are. Total union is the only way to know who you really are. There is a part of you in them. If you do not love that part of you that is in them, you do not love all of yourself. Loving everyone as a part of yourself incorporates and integrates them into yourself, and you then love them as you love yourself. And you love yourself because you love everyone who is one with you. This is the only path to resurrection, to atonement, to miracles, and to ascension.
"A miracle is a service. It is the maximal service that one soul can render another. It is a way of loving your neighbor as yourself."
"You accept forgiveness as accomplished in yourself when you forgive. You recognize your brother as yourself, and thus do you perceive that you are whole."
"The law of Creation is that you love your creations as yourself, BECAUSE THEY ARE PART OF YOU."
"The message and the messenger ARE one. And you MUST see your brother as yourself."
"It is no dream to love your brother as yourself. Nor is your holy relationship a dream."
"When you have seen your brothers as yourself, you will be RELEASED to knowledge, having learned to FREE yourself, of Him who knows of freedom."
"And would He give a Brother unto you except he be as perfect as yourself, and just as like to Him in holiness as YOU must be?"
"But love EVERYTHING He created, of which YOU are part, or you cannot learn of His peace and accept His gift FOR yourself and AS yourself. You CANNOT know your own perfection until you have honored all those who were created LIKE you."
"Look at your holy brother, sinless as yourself, and let him LEAD you there."
"It is the gracious acknowledgment of everyone as a Son of your most loving Father, loved by Him like you, and therefore loved by you as yourself. It is HIS Love that joins you, and FOR His Love, you would keep no-one separate from YOURS."
"For sin would keep you separate, but your Redeemer would have you look upon each other as yourself."
"For your Father wills you to know your brother AS yourself. Answer HIS call for love, and YOURS is answered. Healing is the love of Christ for His Father, and for HIMSELF."
"So would I look on everyone today. My brothers are Your Sons. Your Fatherhood created them, and gave them all to me as part of You and my own Self as well. Today I honor You through them, and thus I hope this day to recognize my Self."
"For he is part of me and I of him, and we are part of You Who are our Source, eternally united in Your Love; eternally the holy Son of God."
"Fail not your brothers, or you fail yourself. Look lovingly on them that they may know that they are part of you and you of them."
"If your brothers ARE part of you, will you ACCEPT them?"
"If what you do to my brother you do to me, and if you do everything for yourself because we are PART of you, everything WE do belongs to you as well. Every Soul God created is part of you, and shares His glory WITH you."
"If you unite with anyone in prayer, you make him part of you."
"Every altar to God is part of your Soul, because the Light He created is One with Him. Would you cut a brother off from the Light that is yours?"
"If your brothers are part of YOU, and you blame THEM for your deprivation, you ARE blaming yourself. And you cannot blame yourself WITHOUT blaming them."
"The beautiful relationship you have with all your brothers is a part of you BECAUSE it is a part of God Himself."
"A holy relationship is one in which you join with what IS part of you in TRUTH."
(rejection of) ... "This is your brother, focus of your hate, unworthy to be part of you, and thus OUTSIDE your self, the other half, which is denied."
"By accepting the Atonement for YOURSELF, you are deciding AGAINST the belief that you can BE alone, thus dispelling the idea of separation and affirming your true identification with the whole Kingdom as literally PART OF YOU."
"And thus IS every living thing a part of you as of Himself."
"Your teaching has already DONE this, for the Holy Spirit is PART OF YOU."
"But see the love of God in you, and you will see it everywhere because it IS everywhere. See His abundance in everyone, and you will know that you are in Him WITH them. They are part of you as you are part of God. YOU are as lonely without understanding this as God Himself is lonely when His Sons do not know Him."
"He is in need of your acceptance of himself as part of you, as you for his."
"you will realize that it is a sudden UNawareness of the body, and a joining of your self and SOMETHING ELSE, in which your mind ENLARGES to encompass it. It becomes PART of you, as you UNITE with it. And BOTH become whole, as NEITHER is perceived as separate."
"Brother, we heal together as we live together, and love together. Be not deceived in God's Son, for he is one with himself, and One with his Father."
Jesus asks us to be responsible for everything we experience. Part of this entails being responsible for all of your feelings and reactions.
This sounds simple enough but you might not realize how much you don't do this. I know I am just starting to find out.
Most of the feelings we have are 'caused by', or are reactions to, things outside of us. External causes. These external causes seem to have power over us. Anything that happens in the world seems to be 'reality', and what is real is true. So as anything happens, it's as though it is a statement of what is true. For example, if someone attacks you, and if it's a statement of what is true, then its saying "it's true that you deserve to be attacked".
Left unchecked, your ego will take this suggestion and agree with it. "Yes, it's true that I deserve to be attacked", Ie that you don't deserve love. And in order for you to align with that, you'll attempt to CHANGE YOURSELF into a different identity. You'll try to make yourself into "a self that isn't loveable". And what will that feel like? It'll feel like guilt, like unworthiness, like sadness, like shame.
So 'reactions' are actually your attempt to comply with the power that an external cause is trying to have over you, which is trying to dictate and change what you are. So if you go along with it, you will 're-act' by acting as if you are what it tells you you are. In other words, you attempt to be an EFFECT of this external cause. By being the effect, you are 'affected by' it. And this doesn't feel good to turn yourself into a condition that runs against your true nature.
You'll also notice that when you have these reactions, these effects, which accounts for most emotional responses other than real love or joy, the way you EXPERIENCE the feeling entails a sense that the feeling isn't just inside your body. Or that it isn't yours. Because you perceive the feeling as having been caused by something external, the feeling ITSELF will feel like it is connected to, attached to, and dependent upon that external cause. If that thing caused you to feel this way, then the feeling essentially "came from" that thing, and was dictated to you by that thing. In your awareness, as you have this reactive feeling, you feel like your feeling is going outside your body and projecting onto that external source, or at least that it is "about" something other than you.
You're very used to this, so it seems to you that it's completely normal for reactive 'feelings' to feel like they go outside your body. Since you're so used to believing that you are "affected by" external stuff, and that this upsets you (changes you into an upset person by redefining what's true about you), you don't believe you are responsible for your feelings. It's someone else's fault. Something else is making you upset. It's not 'yours'. So quite literally you perceive that YOUR OWN FEELINGS are NOT YOUR OWN FEELINGS, that they belong to someone or something else "out there". And that therefore you don't have control over them. And this makes you into a victim. This also has a lot to do with why you block and deny and do not want to feel these feelings, because you believe they are not really yours.
Now, what I'm going to suggest is that you need to learn to take full responsibility for the *experience* of feeling. Whatever the feeling is, no matter who seemed to create it or cause it, you need to OWN IT and own up to the fact that this is YOUR FEELING, not someone else's. And that means, this feeling is actually INSIDE YOUR BODY and not extending out to project into other people as the cause of it. And it also means, these feelings are not really there BECAUSE OF someone or something else, but BECAUSE OF YOU.
A phrase which I've begun to remind myself with is:
"I am responsible for these feelings".
So no matter what's going on, if I'm feeling upset that my neighbors are making a lot of noise.. I have to say, "I am responsible for these feelings". I'm not having these upset feelings 'because of' my neighbors. I'm having these upset feelings because I AM THE ONE who is having them, which means I am the cause of them, which means they come from ME. They're mine. If I were to assert that I'm being caused to be upset by my noisy neighbors, then I would have to believe my feelings are caused by them, so my neighbors are responsible for my feelings, and not me.
Or how about, your parent doesn't love you enough and you come to believe it means you're unworthy (because you believe they're treating you with the truth so that must imply you don't deserve love). If you feel hurt because of them, by them, or they caused it, then you will not be responsible. So long as you disown how you feel, and blame the cause of the feeling on them, you are stuck. So really... your feeling of hurt or abandonment or unlove or unworthiness is NOT because of them. It's NOT them that caused it, otherwise that would mean these are their feelings. Yes, you tried to take on their feelings as your own. But it's not yours. What YOU are feeling is YOUR feelings and YOU are the one choosing to feel this way.
"I am responsible for these feelings". This frees you. It affirms that no matter what you feel, that feeling is IN YOU, because it is YOURS. It's confined to your body. And as you claim this responsibility and detach from blaming it on someone outside of you, you'll notice something odd happens.
You'll start to become aware that no matter what, no matter how severe circumstances are, no matter who is doing what 'to you', your feelings are YOUR responsibility. Which means you cannot project the onto anyone else or blame anyone else. This is a whole new level of responsibility. To walk around in this world with all kinds of stuff happening and people doing stuff and to NOT see them as having the POWER to CAUSE YOU to feel a certain way. This is a step toward invulnerability.
This takes pracice, mainly because we're so used to being victims and so used to tying our feelings to other people and events. I have to own up to the fact that no matter what I'm feeling or 'why', I am ONLY feeling it because I WANT TO and because I'M CHOOSING TO. Otherwise I am a victim. These are MY feelings, and it's nobody else's fault.
The odd thing that happens, and I've found this quite unexpected, is IF and when I claim responsibility for what I'm feeling, quite often I suddenly start laughing, or the feeling disappears really quickly. If I see that this feeling is entirely within me and has nothing to do with anyone else, it has nowhere to go. This perceptive change of 'being responsible' prevents me from buying into victimhood, or into believing that someone external 'caused this'. This SETS ME FREE. It completely undoes the foundation of victimhood, which largely undoes the foundation of the feeling itself, which really was just a mistaken thought or attitude.
I've also noticed something else very weird. A couple of times now I have been in situations where, normally, I would have a 're-action'. Like getting cut off by a driver in traffic. I noticed I was 'supposed to' or normally would react in some kind of anger or skapegoating. But instead, I didn't do anything. I stayed responsible, which meant staying responsible for my own feelings, which meant that person didn't have the power to cause me to feel differently. And I watched as my feelings.. ... didn't change. It was like, I'd switched off 'reacting'. Same event still happening, but no reaction. Hmm.
There is something else odd that I've been experiencing. If all my feelings are my own and I am feeling them BY CHOICE and not really because of or at the effect of anyone else, then I must be quite literally walking around INVENTING feelings on-demand, just spontaneously, in order to take the opportunity to try to scapegoat, but nevertheless creating these feelings for NO REAL REASON. All of my supposed re-actions are really just me choosing to feel something at a given time, all on my own, all within myself. It's got nothing to do with anyone else. Ano if that's the case, then WHY am I doing that? What's the point? Maybe I should just stop making this shit up!!
This is part of how we show our brother that they have not done anything to us, by demonstrating that WE have not been affected. We haven't been affected because we are not the EFFECT, we are the CAUSE of what we feel. This happened to me one other time too and I found it remarkable that, even in a situation which would have 'called for' a big reaction, there was no reaction at all. It's like being unplugged from the story. Being immune and invulnerable. It seems like CHEATING! Lol .... But it works.
I know I will keep practicing this and will continue to become more responsible for what I am and what I feel. I encourage you to do the same.
"Lesson 253 "My Self is ruler of the universe. ... It is impossible that anything should come to me unbidden by myself. Even in this world, it is I who rule my destiny. ******What happens is what I desire.***** What does not occur is what I do not want to happen. This must I accept."
We're familiar with the idea of scapegoating. Something that seems separate from you happens, someone does something, and then you become triggered. You use the opportunity to project some guilt onto the person to relieve yourself.
But what if we said that the things that happen, do not happen on their own without your consent? What if we say that you cause things to happen, you coerce people to do things, and you put the events in place? And what if the reason you do this is so that you can position yourself as a victim, prime yourself for being upset about the situation, disown responsibility, and project blame for it onto someone else?
Is it possible that before you even scapegoat, you dream a dream and put the figures there and make them act out for you? What if the ego in you seeks to sabotage everything, find people sinful, and condemn them, long before you even seem to be projecting stuff onto them or reacting to them?
"It is the FIGURES in the dream, and what THEY do that seem to MAKE THE DREAM. You do not realize that ****you are making them act out FOR you****, for if you did, the guilt would not be theirs, and the illusion of satisfaction would be gone."
What if you actively seek to set people up for failure, actively try to cause problems to happen, actively amplify suffering and actively want things to go wrong so that you can have an opportunity TO scapegoat? What if life only sucks because you are CAUSING it to distort towards hell? What if your mind is actually INFLUENCING the dream, orchestrating events, changing behaviors, and is causing you to SET UP unpleasant situations?
Jesus in ACIM says that your self is ruler of the universe, and nothing comes to you unbidden by yourself. Whatever happens is what you desire. And what does not happen you have not chosen. This sure seems to suggest that your mind is a powerful creator, that events don't just happen on their own without your consent, and that you actually have a psychological influence over the world. This is your dream, after all.
What we maybe need to be willing to look at, and this is very deep, is that we don't just have a problem projecting guilt onto people, supposedly justified by "what they do", or the sins they commit, but we actually also orchestrate events and manipulate happenings and sabotage proceedings and cause problems to arise, just so that we can have scenarios in which scapegoating becomes possible. We ARRANGE the world into configurations of suffering.
Is it too much of a stretch to suggest that your mind is actually asking for trouble? Or that you are wanting there to be unsolvable problems? Or that you're making your life a living hell on purpose? Or that your ego wants there to be war? That your mind actually induces problems and holds them as real and maintains and energizes them in order to keep you in a position of victimhood, so that you'll be primed and ready to project crap onto all those involved?
What if it's that you secretly want there to be a problem? What if you secretly want to suffer, have unsolvable issues, be confronted with conflict and see yourself as powerless and hopeless and unable to see a way out? What if your descent into hell and your attempt to push everyone there with you, is actually a choice you're making that demands the dream conform to your wishes? What if your desire to see yourself unfairly treated actually manipulates spacetime and world events and people's health and so on, just so that you can keep the lie of "I didn't choose this" going?
After all, how are you going to scapegoat if no-one is doing anything to bother you? How are you going to project your guilt if no-one is sinning or making mistakes? Maybe you have to trip them up. Maybe you have to put obstacles in place. Maybe you actively seek to destroy your life and your relationships. Maybe you want things to go wrong so that you'll find yourself in an impossible situation, a nightmare of your own making, so that you'll seem imprisoned and powerless and can blame everyone else for making you feel this way?
I really do think that our minds are powerful enough that we actually influence events, manipulate happenings, induce and increase problems, make issues persist through resistance, attract even more suffering through fear, and so on. Our minds influence the dream world. Our focus, especially if it's coming from ego on some subtle level, can actually attempt to sabotage and destroy and tear down and constantly throw things into stressful states. Our egos want this, so that we can have the perfect justification for seeing ourselves unfairly treated.
"The mind is a very powerful creator, and it never loses its creative force. It never sleeps. Every instant it is creating, and ALWAYS as you will." We are not idle spectators in this world, we are creators, and our minds are powerful and never stop creating. And while we pretend not to create with or like God, we instead mis-create. And our mis-creations become a world that we make and look upon and react to. It may be completely wrong to assume that this physical world is just some objectively solid real fixed thing, there on its own, doing its own thing. Maybe instead it is a fluid dream fabric which our minds are constantly manipulating, causing things to happen, asking for certain people to show up, putting problems there etc. After all, the world IS an hallucination OUR mind is having.
"People prefer to believe that their thoughts cannot exert real control because they are literally AFRAID of them."
"What if you recognized this world is a hallucination? What if you REALLY understood you made it up?"
I've seen for myself how when I'm in a more egoic mood or angry, more things go wrong than usual. It's not just that I'm annoyed and can't stay patient with everyday things, it's more that there's an actual increase in how many things mess up. If I'm in fear the same thing occurs. Stuff breaks, falls, drops, slips, gets bumped into, goes missing, malfunctions etc, a lot more than usual. As children of God we need to learn to realize and master the fact that we are not just sitting here passively perceiving the world, we are MAKING IT.
Could it be that we actually are far more powerful creators than we realize? Could it be that even in this dream world we are rulers of our destiny and have to learn to create constructively and responsibly, even of dream stuff? Could it be that when we're having one of those days where everything goes wrong it's because we're making it go wrong on purpose?
Could it be that if we master this ability of mind power, mind over matter so to speak, that we could in fact orchestrate what happens, how it happens, who it happens to, and thereby be truly ruler of the universe? And what if when your mind is more peaceful, it INDUCES a life in which events are smoothed out and problems melt and attacks diminish and the so-called physical world actually bends to your will? That "all around the signs of life spring up" as you walk by, simply by the power of your mind to organize and turn chaos into order?
"external conditions are produced by the thoughts of many, not all of whom are pure in heart as yet."
"Miracle-working entails a full realization of the power of thought, and real avoidance of miscreation. Otherwise, the miracle will be necessary to set the mind ITSELF straight."
"He will go before you, making straight your path, and leaving in your way no stones to trip on, and no obstacles to bar your way. NOTHING you need will be denied you. ****Not one seeming difficulty but will melt away BEFORE you reach it.****"
"The scent of flowers is their gift to you. The waves bow down before you, and the trees extend their arms to shield you from the heat and lay their leaves before you on the ground, that you may walk in softness, while the wind sinks to a whisper 'round your holy head."
Doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, isn't really optional. It's not something you can choose not to do, and it isn't something to aspire to. But that's how it's often viewed.
There is a metaphysical truth that, at the very least, other people ARE you, so how you are treating them you are treating yourself directly. But I think this leaves open room for error because there are some other parts to this that you may not realize.
First of all, you can only share love. Love IS sharing. It means joining and communing and being equal and being ONE. This is the underlying truth on which this idea is based. You CAN only share love. So this really means, you CAN only "do love" to others, you cannot actually really do anything else to others.
So when it comes to "how should I treat other people", the ONLY option that you can REALLY pursue is to love them. Love will be extended and shared to and with them. If your attitude is NOT love, IT WILL NOT BE SHARED.
So that means you CANNOT do unto others anything other than love.
There is also more to this.
Your mind, when you are believing that YOU are sinful, will become a split mind. It's a mind that believes separation has really happened. And this separation has happened INSIDE YOURSELF. Your own mind has become split. Part of this split will entail that a portion of mind remain in your awareness - conscious awareness - and a portion will be sectioned off and repressed as a place to shove your unconscious guilt. But the splitting off of that second part of mind (which produces a shadow, at war with your conscious persona), is now experienced as "not myself"
And so then you are in a state of disassociation from your whole self. The part of YOU that you think is not you, which you are trying to get rid of like crazy, you will believe you are separate from it - that it's not you. And so when some person comes along you will see them as "not you" also, and will then see IN them your own "not you" part of your own mind. You will relate to your own "not you" mind as though it belongs them them, since it doesn't belong to you. And you will attack that part.
So now you think you are "doing ego" to someone else. That you are treating them with less than love. And that means it now seems optional as to how you treat others. But really you are not even doing anything to them at all. If they were awake they'd know this. You are just attacking your own self indirectly. So you're not ACTUALLY doing anything to others, if it's coming from your ego. You literally ARE only attacking yourself.
So now we have this situation.... either you love both yourself and others, or you go into a private world where you are attacking yourself, but believing everyone else is involved. Nobody else is involved AT ALL.
Thus it's not really a case of having to then figure out how to "do unto others" in a better way. You're NOT doing unto others. The only thing you CAN share with them is LOVE. If you are not in love with yourself, you will do nothing "to" them at all, because unlove is a WITHDRAWAL from sharing.
So now we shift from trying to "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you", to something more like "do unto YOURSELF as you would have YOUR TRUE SELF do unto YOU."
Translated, that means learning to undo your own belief that YOU are sinful, which will result in you becoming aware that you LOVE yourself. You WILL then be able to extend this love to others. So learn to do unto yourself what GOD would do unto you, which is to recognize you are worthy, forgiven and innocent forever. That should be your aim, and don't be so concerned that you even CAN do anything to anyone else.
It's not because of some kind of guilt-ridden ambition to be nice to other people that you're doing this. Since you can't do unto others unless it IS love, you can forget about believing that you're mistreating people. You are only capable of mistreating yourself.