I had a pretty intense talk with God last night.

I began to commune with God and called to Him.

He said, "My Son".

I asked first, "Am I going to have to experience death of a loved one in this lifetime and be alone?"

He said simply, "How can you? Death isn't real."

I opened up to Him and I said, "Father, please forgive me for I have sinned".

He said, "I already have."

and "I never condemned you."

I asked, "You never ever condemned me? I've never done anything wrong ever? You're not going to punish me?"

He said, "How could I? It's not in my nature. I can only love."

I responded, "You're not going to send me to hell?"

He said, "It doesn't exist. You made it up."

I asked, "Then, why is it that I don't see to be experiencing that?"

He said, "You just haven't accepted it yet."

I wondered, "why is it that I don't accept it? does that mean I don't want it?"

I looked within and saw a rather uncomfortable fact that some part of me must not WANT to accept the truth. That some part of me doesn't believe in it, rejects it, has chosen against it and seems to want something else.

It was not pleasant to see that the full responsibility for this "non-acceptance" was in myself.

I told God that "I am afraid to accept it, but it feels good to connect with you, how can I accept this more?

He said simply, "Remove blocks to awareness."

I was feeling very open and awake. I then felt a very strong sense of attraction throughout my whole person. A strong pull that felt like it was pulling me toward God, like a magnet or a vacuum as though something was so extremely appealing and attractive that my whole being wanted to rush to it.

I had tears and then I had laughter. And then I felt joy. Holy Spirit then said "sleep". And so I slept.

It's quite sobering to realize that God is not in any way a punisher or judger or condemner, does not send anyone to hell, and lovingly accepts us fully. And that it is entirely OUR belief to the contrary that we need to correct - our own unwillingness to accept His benevolent nature.

I think that for years I have been mistaken about the course. Mainly in terms of the orientation of my mind and the direction in which it was heading.

We start out in false perception, in ego, in body identification. As if we are down in hell at the bottom of a ladder. And then we think of heaven or light or truth or atonement as being higher up the ladder, and so we start the process of climbing out of hell.

Along the way we're told of particularly "high" things which become goals to strive for, like true perception, accepting atonement, the real world, christ vision. And we wonder how to achieve these things. We kind of come at it from a "I don't have it, how do I get it?" point of view.

But the thing is, this is all backwards. We're literally starting out in a backwards thought system, moving in the wrong direction, looking in the wrong direction, and trying to get our heads around what the truth is.

I think as we gradually learn more about the truth, God, soul, reality etc over time, we open up to it more. We do more forgiveness, we heal, we let go of old pain etc. Our identity starts to shift away from the body. We begin questioning the reality of the world etc.

Then at some point, perhaps a kind of tipping point, where for a while we've had our feet in both worlds - heaven and earth - we start to lean more towards reality. We start to side more with the truth than with the false. We develop more truth and find a surer footing that anchors us in reality.

The interesting thing then is that our whole orientation seems to do a 180 degree shift. We start looking from the top down instead of from the bottom up. And we feel more secure in the truth of God and more accepting of what's real as "where we are coming from".

I have found it extremely helpful and clarifying to spend time investigating the nature of God, heaven, creation, souls, sonship, mind, free will, causation, etc. Not the things of this world. This has really fleshed out some solid "facts" that I can depend upon.

I see the simple truth that God, who is truth, has extended himself to create me, and whatever is true of me ONLY comes from God. And that I in turn ONLY have what I inherited from God, and can only be and extend that which I have been given. This has now become a kind of "starting point" for me. A rock solid core of truth within my being. Not even I have any real say in what I am or what I can do.

Now I find myself basing my whole thought process on that truth. Regarding myself as not of this world. Recognizing that only the Kingdom is real. Feeling into and aligning myself with God's will and with my real function. Embedding myself in heaven and looking outward from there. This is orienting me from "the top down" to look at everything the course says from a new vantage point. And it's as if I am seeing things in a way I never saw before.

I'm finding is just an avalanche of clarification and insight about what it's getting at. I find for example that while many "bottom-uppers" believe their whole mission is to escape from hell and return home, really the whole course is aimed towards anchoring yourself in your true nature and expressing that, shining a light into the world to produce healing. As if what's at the top of the ladder reaches down to the bottom of the ladder, to either shine it away or raise it up.

There are in fact many parts of the course related to bringing heaven into the world. Shining God's light as a reflection of his being. The extension of miracles which we are literally told fall DOWN like drops of healing rain FROM heaven ONTO the earth.

The fact that christ works through our bodies, that the holy spirit uses the body for his purposes, and that we extend through the body to form holy relationships. Even forgiveness is a matter of allowing the light of heaven's truth to infuse the mind to correct it's perceptions. Where do we get any kind of truth from if not from outside of perception itself? Truth is of God!

It's not so much a "let's just get out of here" thing. It's more of a, let's remember who we really are anchored in heaven's reality and shine outward from that core truth into the world, to be the light of the world, a healing presence, a teacher/extender of God into the dream, and to help shine away the world. This isn't escape from hell, it's a DISPELLING OF DARKNESS by shining the light of heaven onto it. And this will seem "backwards" to those who believe their only goal is to get out of here asap.

I also think that all the discussions about true perception, christ vision, the face of christ, the real world, atonement etc, are all quite misleading. Mainly because it's very clear to me now that true perception is merely a SIDE EFFECT of a mind which is anchoring itself on the OTHER side of the separation. A mind which is identifying with the spirit being that is BEYOND the realm of perception entirely.

Even the perception of the real world is clearly infused with the light of heaven and is really just a stopping point just prior to entering heaven, on the way to TOTAL immersion in heaven. It just represents a state of being ALMOST entirely spirit identified. And giving yourself over entirely to the atonement merely means becoming FULLY dependent on the truth, having been previously only "mostly" dependent upon it. And truth is not of this world.

"Since perception rests on lack, those who perceive have not totally accepted the Atonement (but have partly accepted it) and given themselves over to truth. Perception is based on a separated state, so that anyone who perceives at all needs healing. Communion, not prayer, is the natural state of those who know."

This really tells us that the acceptance of atonement is at first a GRADUAL TRANSITION out of hell towards heaven, out of false perception towards truth, and it is only FULLY or FINALLY accepted at the end, where you are 100% willing to accept the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Until then, you are PARTLY atoned, just as Jesus says you are "not now wholy insane." Truth has corrected your mind to SOME extent.

Indeed the whole idea of forgiveness is riddled with confusion and misunderstanding. To forgive really means, that you recognize what is true - which IS HEAVEN, and to then "defend" that truth through the proper use of denial, to REJECT that anything not of God is real or has any power. It's a recognition that illusions are false, BECAUSE OF what is true. AND what is true is God - not of this world. Forgiveness thus is rooted in and depends on recognizing God's nature, which is itself BEYOND forgiveness.

The most obvious point is that, here we are in bodies starting out in false perception, blind to God and in denial of reality. The question then is how do we solve that. And obviously the only real way to solve that is in "leaving the desert". That means that in order to become more loving, more light, more truthful, more sane, you have to actually identify with something BEYOND the dream, with a real eternal truth that is entirely OUTSIDE of perception, so that your perception transforms to line up with it. The blueprint for right mindedness is the one mind.

You can't just work on perception in a closed box. True perception in fact has to be BASED UPON knowledge. And knowledge is the real truth. Believing that the real truth is true - a truth which is OUTSIDE of spacetime - causes perception to be transformed to line up with it. It's almost like, you have to reach outside of ALL perception first, get a hold of reality, then infuse that reality into your mind so that your perception becomes lighter. This was not at all evident in years of past study and in the common interpretations of the course.

We're also told about miracle working and the fact that miracles in fact come from God and fall down from heaven like healing rain, onto the earth. This is similar to how forgiveness works, in that the light that is higher and more true, shines into the mind and into the world, and bestows life where there was death.

Because "Miracles mean life and God is the giver of life" and "Miracles are a universal blessing from God through me to all my brothers". That means they're starting out IN HEAVEN and are expressing FROM God through our minds, transforming perception and healing the world. That's a TOP DOWN mechanic, which is why they cannot be received when fear (false perception) is too strong.

I've also found that until you can get a really solid metaphysical, logical grasp of the nature of God and creation, you can't really have anything clear and true enough to compare anything to. You really need a solid idea of the light, in order for it to clearly contradict the darkness. You need to know the truth of heaven and of your being and nature, in order to compare that to other things that happen in the world, to recognize WHY those things are false and unreal. You can't just compare illusions to true perception, you have to compare them to God, then perception will follow.

"Perception (even true perception) is a RESULT, not a cause".And so it sort of comes down to not just the question of what things are, but of the question of WHY they are that way. The understanding or logical reason that they are based on. Illusions are illusions BECAUSE of what the truth is. Sickness is unreal BECAUSE of the immortal nature of God. The world is a dream BEACUSE reality is not like it. Miracles can raise the dead BEACUSE of their expression of eternal life. If you don't have your mind anchored in heaven, you really don't have any solid ground to stand on at all.

For me, my whole orientation with the course is quite strongly transitioning to a totally top-down view at the moment. This reflects the changes in myself which are transitioning to a "going within in order to be able to express outward", or seeking the higher mind in order to shine FROM it into the world. Or aligning myself with a higher light, so that I can shine darkness way. I am finding out WHO I AM, so that I can REJECT what I am not.

"Yet when they find their own Reality is even here, then they step back and let It lead the way. What other choice is really theirs to make?"

"And so again we make the only choice that ever can be made; we choose between illusions and the truth, or pain and joy, or hell and Heaven."

Ultimately what we're really doing is we are rising up from the pits of hell and ascending into heaven. But the closer you get to heaven the more you feel like you are IN heaven, looking back downward towards hell. It's most like returning to HERE, having been AWAY. Or becoming more PRESENT, having been absent. Or becoming more authentic, having been artificial.

That orientation of "peering out from the truth" or "operating under the laws of God" or "being true to yourself first" or "having innocence in you first which you project out", is what MAKES the real world and true perception be what they are. They are reflections of the light that is IN you, which you have stepped into and are radiating. The love which you give in order to see love. "Love looks upon itself."

So it's really about you deciding to change which ROOM you are located in. Are you in hell, or in heaven. When you seek for a better way than suffering, to any degree at all, you are seeking to be in the room of heaven, where you are happy. And then you start to move between the rooms. You want to get yourself as much immersed in heaven as possible, so that almost all of you is very close to being in heaven just before you leave the world. That means you are practically a REFLECTION OF DIVINITY, while in the dream, allowing you to perform miracles and heal the world. To extend God's love and light and to keep illusions from tempting you.

It's all top-down. All the correction is top-down. All the extension of love and light and power is top-down. All of the being true to yourself is top-down. All of the health of the body is caused from the top-down. All dispelling of illusions and the sanity of the mind is brought about from the top-down. Death is conquered throught the top-down expression of eternal life. True perception and the forgiven world and the real world all come about through the top-down application and expression of your true nature. And eventually the goal is to be SO completely vigilant for the Kingdom, or to seek first the Kingdom of God, so that you put God FIRST in all things, and everything else just follows naturally from there.

Each time, and in each way, that we perceive that someone else is meant to change, that there is something wrong with them, that they have caused us to be upset or changed in any way whatsoever, or that anything outside of us can do something to us, we are being irresponsible for our lives.

This means we are not owning up to the full responsibility we have to be the causal power of everything that we experience. It means we're shoveling off our sense of Self and responsibility for our life onto someone else. We're wanting them to change in order to INDIRECTLY cause us to be happy or in a preferred state, and if they don't comply we get upset.

It is not anyone else's responsibility to live our life for us, to wake up for us, to change to suit us, to match our opinion, to be corrected on our behalf, or to be any way 'for us' in order for us to get what we want.

If you look you'll notice yourself being 'riddled' with this situation, where in small ways and in various relationships, you truly believe that someone else (or reality, or the world) is not meant to be the way it is. This is irresponsibility. It means you are not being responsible for what you are, and so you see everything outside of you reflecting that - that it too should not be what it is.

So when there is irresponsibility in your mind and perception, where you are not squarely owning and being centered in the acceptance of what you actually are, you are going to experience that outside of you in everything you look at. Other people and places and events are going to start to show up to you as being 'wrong' for being what they, that they should be something else, that they SHOULD BE IRRESPONSIBLE for being what they are.

This is why the acceptance of ourselves is an act of responsibility, and is then reflected outside us as the world appearing to be accepted for what it is, also. You can't accept the world if you can't accept yourself.

There are some basic facts in the course. These facts are completely clear cut, black and white. They do not have any exceptions. There is no "maybe" to them. They are so perfectly defined and clear that all you can do is either accept them or deny them. Such is the truth.

e.g. The fact is, God is eternal.

So if you can start by accepting this fact, we can move on to another fact. But if you cannot accept this fact, or think there are exceptions to it, or don’t understand what eternal means, we can’t make any other sensible conclusions.

Eternal - lasting forever, always the same, permanent, unwavering, lacking all change or difference, never ending or beginning, constant and unfaltering. Yes?

If you can accept this, you can accept this is God’s nature. And under NO circumstances is this ever opposed, or untrue. If God is eternal, the truth about God must also be eternal. It is fixed. It’s a fact.

Upon accepting this premise, we can move on to say, clearly, if God is a creator, and because God is eternal, God creates in an eternal way. What he creates MUST BE eternal also, as an EXTENSION of His own nature.

Would it make sense to say that an eternal creator would create anything less than something eternal? Think about what that would entail. It means God has a VARIETY of kinds of creations which are different and contradict each other, and so is confused. It means God does not always think eternal thoughts, and so thinks of death. It means God changes his mind. It means therefore that sometimes God is not God. In fact, it means sometimes God stops being eternal also, and dies. Do we really want THAT to be the truth?? Does that make ANY sense? Not at all. Do not accept this nonsense.

So to make sense here, we have to accept, admit, the fact is, when God EXTENDS HIMSELF, when God expresses eternity, when God GIVES HIMSELF to His creations, He MUST produce ONLY eternal life. He can only give what he has. He cannot create UNLIKE Himself. This should make perfect sense because it is impeccably logical. Creation is the extension of God’s own eternal nature. And this simply leads to the fact that God CANNOT create anything that lacks eternal life.

So now you might be thinking about things you know of in this world, wondering if or HOW they might have eternal life. You might now enter into wishful thinking, even strong resistance, or unwillingness to realize that they may not HAVE eternal life. You might want to blur the definition of what eternal means. You may not want this "cold hard fact" to be true. It might imply some things you do not want, or incite ego reactions and upset. And these are poor quality ego thoughts. The mind is slipping out of impeccable logic and reason and going into denial.

Facts can be accepted or denied, but they cannot be changed. You have to have a CLEAR grasp of what ETERNAL means. And you can’t be wishywashy about it. It is black and white. Something lives forever or it does not. Something is permanent and unchanging OR it is temporary and changes. Which is it? You have to be honest here. Denial does not bring the truth.

There is no OPINON involved here. There are no "multiple possible interpretations". The facts are rock solid. Impeccable. Clear. Perfect. So true that they are not OPEN to interpretation. You either accept them as a result of RECOGNIZING the sense they make, or reject them. The great thing about dealing with impeccably logical facts is that the ego cannot have a say, opinions do not matter, and there is no way to be incorrect UNLESS you fail to reason correctly. Your role of "decider of what is true" goes bye bye. Facts are the end of the ego. The truth sets you free.

Fact is, a world that changes is not eternal. How could it be, when eternal means NEVER ENDS and NEVER CHANGES? If God is eternal, he CANNOT create a changing world. This is a raw fact. Beginnings and ends are not of Him. This is why the world - Earth - which ONLY changes, and has no permanent identity, cannot have come from Him. And therefore, it cannot be eternal reality, or His creation. This is why ACIM refers to it as the world YOU made. And it OPPOSES His because it opposes eternal life.

It is an impeccable fact that this world is not God’s Kingdom. It is not real. And it does not really exist. This is why there is no world. This can be accepted, or denied, but the fact cannot be changed. Your only freedom is in whether you are WILLING to ACCEPT that it is a fact, or deny it. And denial of facts brings illusions of suffering. If you want the truth, you have to be WILLING to let go of anything which goes against the facts.

A Course in Miracles is BASED ON these facts. It’s metaphysics lines up with it perfectly. And it is these facts which lay the foundation for the Holy Spirit’s thought system. Accepting there is no world is accepting the facts. And accepting the facts results in accepting eternal life. The truth of God is not yours to define. And only His eternal truth is true.

"The ego's logic is as impeccable as that of the Holy Spirit."

"The Holy Spirit uses logic as easily, and as well, as does the ego, except that HIS conclusions are NOT insane. They take a direction EXACTLY opposite, pointing as clearly to Heaven as the ego points to darkness and to death."

"follow the simple logic, by which the Holy Spirit teaches you the simple conclusions that speak for truth, and ONLY truth."

The ego in each of us acts like a gatekeeper, or controller, who decides what will be accepted or rejected. Everything has to go through it and meet its approval. It acts like "the boss" who has authority and who gets to decide whether something is true or false.

We feed everyting through this "opinion maker", and if we decide not to agree with something we’ll push it away. This really is the ego’s arrogance in trying to be that which decides what the truth is. If it decides something is false, it is false, and will not be acceptable.

So with regards to ACIM, Jesus has written various things and all of them are true. It is our job to actually trust Jesus and trust what He has said is true. But our ego is not happy about that. It wants to decide whether it is true or not, or what it means. It will accept some things, and reject others. It will only "approve" certain things that meet its criteria.

But what we’re supposed to be doing is to trust that Jesus is being truthful, which means, instead of asking ourselves whether what he says is true or not, to put aside the function of deciding if Jesus can be believed, to "blindly accept it" through FAITH, and to THEN spend time figuring out how it MUST be true.

Do we trust Jesus? Is he always telling the truth? Does he lie? Does he contradict himself? Do we have faith in his word? Do we put aside "trying to be right" or "being the decider", and let Him be the authority? This is part of surrendering our ego role of defensiveness and reluctance and having a heartfelt trust and willingness to accept the truth. To accept it not because we even necessarily understand it, but because it’s coming from Jesus.

I trust that what Jesus is saying is true, and then try to learn how and why it is true. I accept it first, and explain it later. And where I fail to trust and want to decide what the truth is myself, those are my lessons in trust.

Jesus is the man.

Our opinions don't mean anything at all. They are absolutely worthless. It doesn't matter what your truth is or what my truth is or what anyone's truth is. It's all bullshit. An opinion is the delusional voice of the ego.

In attempting to express what we think is right or true, we actually are covering up the truth. We are replacing the truth with a viewpoint of what we want the truth to be. These expressions of "my truth", which come across as "this is what the truth is", are actually censorship of real truth.

Then there are those who say that everyone's truth is different or unique and to have your own truth. That's insanity. And then there are those who say no-one knows or can know the truth - not quite true - you CAN know the truth, it's just that hardly anyone is willing and we've become expert at obscuring it.

More and more I see that the truth - as God - simply 'is'. There is absolutely nothing we can do to change or define what it is. It can either be accepted, or denied, but nothing else.

We don't get to decide what God is. We don't get to decide what reality is. We don't get to decide what is true or false. We don't get to decide who we are. We don't get to decide where we came from or what our characteristics are. We don't get to decide God's will for Him. And we don't get to change God in any way. We also don't really get to be separate from God or have our own separate existence or "my life" that I've taken possession and control over.

"There is no life outside of Heaven" - ACIM

"I am as God Created me." - ACIM

"Only the truth is true." - ACIM

Fortunately for us, the gift that God has given us is so perfect and amazing that we couldn't really want for anything else, and nothing else is better for us. It is an absolute blessing and an act of grace. We should be overjoyed to accept what He has deemed us worthy of.

The truth is fixed. It is permanent. It doesn't change. God doesn't change. And no matter what anyone's opinion is, no matter what my opinion is, it's not going to change the truth.

It is actually insane to insist that I or anyone knows what the truth is IF it is not actually aligned with what the truth is. It is, however, sane to know the truth when it is clear and correct and in full acceptance of what the truth actually is.

The more that I allow Jesus and Holy Spirit to express through me, with less censorship and less desire to change what they say, the more "raw" their message becomes. The more completely blunt and unhidden and direct and factual it becomes. I see myself wanting to cover things up and not say some things and not be so brutally honest but they urge me to stop saving face and let the raw truth out.

I expect Jesus to have some kind of persona or way of softening the blow, but He is just like.... in your face! This is what the truth is, boom... take it or leave it. Totally exposed and out in the open with nothing to hide and no attempt to cover anything up.

If something is true and we try to avoid it or deny it or reject it or cover it up or disbelieve it or try to make something else true in order to claim it is false, we're being nothing but arrogant and we have an authority problem.

It's not going to matter whatsoever whether someone claims to know the true version of ACIM or any other teaching, or not. The truth is true. It can only be what it is and it can only be experienced "as-is". The truth itself will be the true measure of who is correct or not - you could call that "judgement day" in a symbolic kind of way. The truth knows what the truth is. The rest of us just get to accept it or attempt to block it and pretend we know better.

But this at least means that the truth is accessible, and you can accept it, and if you are willing to accept it you can align with it and it can be shared with God. Truth is sharing. But you can't have an isolated truth of your own. Isolation is not sharing and puts you into a private world where your own opinion seems to mean something. Your opinion doesn't mean anything at all.

God knows.

God just is, like it or not.

God has given His Creation. He has created us. He has shared everything with us. He has defined what we are forever. The course says something like - think not that you can improve upon Heaven, you cannot add anything to the truth that is more valuable than what it already contains.

We literally therefore must SURRENDER to the truth, lay down everything we want to believe that opposes or blocks or changes it, and simply allow it, accept it.

Related to this, when A Course in Miracles begins it says "This is A Course in Miracles, it is a REQUIRED COURSE." Do you think Jesus is being factual, literal, and absolutely truthful? It is a required course because it is part of God's plan for awakening, and what God says goes. It is inescapable. We have a curriculum for awakening and we must take it and we will take it. It is God's will. you can't avoid it. You can't pretend there is some other completely separate path that doesn't include the curriculum somehow.

The metaphysics of the truth as laid out in the Course is completely true. There are steps in awakening. There are things you have to admit to. You have to learn to admit to the real truth - not a truth that one book says or another argues with. The experiential factual real LIVING truth. You can deny it all you want but you cannot change it or define it. Other pathways may also lead to God but only if they include the same factual real truth.

This is why the "only" path to God is really A Course in Miracles, or to put it another way, it's not the form of the Course but.. "the course" is the "divine curriculum" which is "required" no matter what form your path takes or what materials you use or what books or what teachers. All paths - all forms of paths - lead to God, but some obscure it more than others. You cannot wake up without taking the one curriculum, either directly or inadvertently. And you can be an ACIM student and avoid the curriculum for a long time. ;;-)

This leads me to a different but related point.

I was asking Jesus about how I can possibly accept that someone is sick. If acceptance of the truth is so important, surely I would be better off not resisting the fact that someone is sick? Surely I would be more at peace if I stop fighting with the sickness? Can it be possible that I can come to a complete acceptance of and allowance of that sickness?

Jesus said no. How can I accept something that is false? Jesus speaks of His inability to tolerate the absence of truth in himself or others, and asks us to join Him in the great crusade to correct error in everyone. "As you share my unwillingness to accept error in yourself and others, you must join the great crusade to correct it; listen to my voice, learn to undo error and act to correct it. The power to work miracles belongs to you." - ACIM

I cannot accept someone being sick because the sickness isn't real. I can't simultaneously believe that it is real and be at peace. I can accept that they really DO NOT have sickness. I can accept that they are NOT sick. I can accept that they are One with the truth, in truth. But the sickness, the illusion of sickness, it is intolerable IF it is real. Fortunately it is not real, and that is what can be accepted. But then ... Love compels a desire to perform miracles.

"How can I help?"

In the separation from God we made what seems to be a world, opposite to God - space and time and bodies etc. But we're told this world is unreal. What does "unreal" mean? Because while we're told it's unreal we're also told we believe in it, and that by believing in it it becomes real to us.

Being unreal is a way to say it's not ultimately true and isn't how God creates. So in a sense, it is dream-like. But people DO have dreams, and the mind IS dreaming of a world of space and time. This dream can seem very real and solid and effectual to the dreamer.

As such even though the world is ultimately unreal, which would seem to write off anything that seems to happen in it, while we are still in it believing in it we do still have experience of it AS IF it were real. In fact we can make it extremely real to ourselves and have a horrible nightmare.

"anything else is only his own nightmare, and does not exist."

"The mind can make the belief in Separation VERY real and VERY fearful. And this belief IS the devil. It is powerful, active, destructive, and clearly in opposition to God, because it literally denies His Fatherhood. Never underestimate the power of this denial. Look at your lives and see what the devil has made. But KNOW that this making will surely dissolve in the light of truth, because its foundation IS a lie."

But nightmares do in fact seem very real and frightening and full of suffering and stress to the believer. To the believer, even if they are hallucinating, even if what they experence is total fantasy and not possible in God's laws, it nevertheless can seem VERY real and true to a mind that belives in it.

How do we overcome this nightmarish experience of a world in which everything suffers and dies? What is NEEDED? What is called for? If the problem is that the mind is believing in it and giving it power, then the mind has to withdraw that power and stop believing in it. And by not believing in it, the mind will ultimately stop seeing it.

"What if you recognized this world is a hallucination? What if you REALLY understood you made it up? What if you realized that those who SEEM to walk about in it, to sin and die, attack and murder and destroy themselves, are WHOLLY unreal? Could you have FAITH in what you see, if you ACCEPTED this? AND WOULD YOU SEE IT? Hallucinations disappear when they are RECOGNIZED for what they are. This IS the healing and the remedy."

Here the course doesn't say that the remedy or approach we're supposed to take is to just write the world off with labels like "unreal, illusion, nothing, doesn't exist" ESPECIALLY when the mind IS honestly still believing in it and giving it reality. That's a form of denial. Instead it says we are to use RECOGNITION to realize that the world isn't real and isn't true, WHILE still in it. That's different from PRETENDING TO BE OUTSIDE IT.

A hallucinated world will disappear only when RECOGNIZED that it is a dream and not a reality. This is what "awareness of dreaming" is about. Awareness of dreaming isn't denial. It's in fact a state in which you are still asleep and dreaming, but you have the awareness of what you're doing.

We're not supposed to keep bypassing the world in an attempt to overcome or escape it. In fact, Jesus's remedy for us is to CHANGE PERCEPTION so that we will come to first see this world from a different vantage point. That does require us to "love the world" and to find peace in the world. Before we can leave it. As the course says:

"First you will dream of peace, then you will awaken to it."

If we try to skip the dream of peace, or the happy dream, or the forgiven world, and just try to jump from false perception to knowledge, we're doing a bypass.

"Knowledge is not the remedy for false perception since, being another level, they can never meet. The one correction possible for false perception must be true perception. It will not endure. But for the time it lasts it comes to heal. For true perception is a remedy with many names. Forgiveness, salvation, Atonement, true perception, all are one. They are the one beginning with the end to lead to Oneness far beyond themselves. True perception is the means by which the world is saved from sin, for sin does not exist. And it is this that true perception sees."

Those who use non-dual-seeming statements like "the world doesn't exist so it doen't matter what you do", "the body isn't real so don't bother healing it" etc... are trying to use truths from the level of KNOWLEDGE, to correct the problem. But Jesus says this will not really work. THE ONE CORRECTION for false perception is true perception. We can't skip having true perception. We have to find a way to forgive this world and everything in it first instead of trying to jump ahead to being what is only really experienced AFTER we complete the curriculum.

"Miracles are thought-creations. Thought can create lower-order or higher-order realities. This is the basic distinction between intellectualization and thinking. One creates the physical, and the other the spiritual, and we believe in what we create."

"We have discussed the fall or Separation before, but its meaning must be clearly understood, without symbols. The Separation is NOT symbolic. It is an order of reality, or a system of thought that is PERFECTLY real in time, though not in Eternity. All beliefs are real to the believer."

"You have expressed surprise at hearing how VERY different is reality from what YOU see. You do not realize the magnitude of that ONE error. It was so vast and so COMPLETELY incredible, that from it, a world of total unreality HAD to emerge."

"You looked upon the unreal and found despair. But by SEEKING the unreal, what else COULD you find? The UNreal world IS a thing of despair, for it can never be."

"The Separation HAS occurred. To deny this is merely to misuse denial. However, to concentrate on error is merely a further misuse of legitimate psychic mechanisms. The true corrective procedure, which has already been described as the proper use of the spiritual eye (or true vision), is to accept the error temporarily, BUT ONLY as an indication that IMMEDIATE correction is mandatory. This establishes a state of mind in which the Atonement can be accepted without delay."

"The separation is merely a faulty formulation of reality, WITH NO EFFECT AT ALL. The miracle, without a function in Heaven, IS needful here. ASPECTS of reality can still be seen, and they will replace aspects of UNREALITY. Aspects of reality can be seen IN EVERYTHING and EVERYWHERE. Yet only God can gather them together by crowning them AS ONE with the final gift of eternity."

Belief is an artificial tool that we use in place of knowledge. Belief attempts to establish something as true. Belief is a concentration or focus, a separated off state, in which that which has been "accepted as true" is allowed into the mind to be experienced as desirable, while that which is "outside" of that box is experienced as unwanted, wrong, false, to be rejected.

So then once we're in belief, we have a bias. We will only seem to accept a certain portion of the world, while rejecting the rest. And we'll then use this belief as a barometer for "reality testing" to determine whether things line up with it or not. If they seem to be in the category of acceptable or complementary, they are accepted as true. If they seem contradictory or outside the belief, they are considered false.

The problem with this isn't so much how beliefs work but that we actually use belief to believe things which, in the big picture, are simply not true. We side with lies, buy into illusions, take on beliefs and models and concepts which are incorrect, and then defend them to the death believing they are correct. But this then blinds us to the actual truth.

When we encounter the real truth, holding onto false beliefs, we're going to reject it and see it as wrong, false, evil and attacking. Unwanted and incorrect. Our allegiance to our belief will act like a defense mechanism, shutting out what we deem to be incorrect. But what we're shutting out can often be what is actually true, and now our belief is actually hurting us and keeping us away from the truth, all the while under the guise of having no reason to suspect it is flawed.

Particularly when we are confronted with something which is true, but which we don't believe in, we will simply deny it. It doesn't matter how clear it is, how true it is, how obvious it is, how much sense it makes, how reasonable it is, or anything else. Due to the fact we have this distortion in the mind steering us away from and towards some other truth, we'll keep defending our existing position against this new idea. And we'll see it as threatening and wrong.

The ego is doing this all the time. It's a belief system based on lies and denial of the real truth. So as we have these chunks of bullshit in our mind, which we believe are totally true and we are convinced of them, perhaps having spent a lifetime supporting and bolstering them, we will not be ABLE to WILLING to accept a larger truth WITHOUT letting go of the old belief.

Wrong beliefs HAVE to be questioned and recognized as being mistaken, before you will be willing to let them go in favor or something else. You won't be able to accept into your mind, what seems to be a truth which contradicts what you believe, unless you are ready and willing to let go of what you used to believe.

Your old belief will nag at you, tug at you, remind you of itself. It will pop up into conscious awareness asserting itself and saying "but what about xyz". It will try to continue to get your attention and keep your allegiance to it, because now as you threaten to abandon it it's going to come out of the shadows and be up for examination. It's like a little part of your mind, that's committed to this belief, worried that you are letting "it" go in favor or some other truth.

You can't accept the real truth WITHOUT letting go of false beliefs. The false beliefs will pull you away, make you doubt the truth, make you feel like you can't trust it, that there's something wrong with it even if you don't know what it is. False beliefs makes you suspicious of the real truth. Beliefs distort your perception and actually make things appear to be "wrong" even if they're not. They act as a filter and a magnet.

You could be presented with reality at all times. You could be surrounded with love at all times. You could be in heaven right now. You could be in the real world. You could be faced with the simple truth that nothing real can be threatened and the world is not real. But you will not see it, acknowledge it, accept it, or allow it to be true for you, thus welcomed, without your willingness to recognize it as correct. And the reason you don't believe it's true is because you believe SOMETHING ELSE which contradicts it.

So what you'll find happening is that very often as we come to the course, there are things the course says which are true, but which you do not believe. You will be presented with these things and will deny them. You will be like, no, that's not true. Even if it is explicitly spelled out, you will say "i don't believe that". You will hold up models and concepts that other teachers have come up with that are wrong, and believe them MORE than you will believe what the course is saying. You'll take your own conviction in your own rightfulness over Jesus's authority. And you'll reject the atonement on this basis.

Our false believing, our mistakenness, our confusion, our siding with things which are not true believing they are, all needs to be corrected. The mind's acceptance of what is true has to be brought in line with God's established truth, which you have NO SAY IN. You can only accept it as is, or reject it. But in order to reject it you're going to have to come up with a belief, which makes you feel that something ELSE is true. And that therefore, God's truth is not true.

All beliefs pointing away from what the course says verbatim must be mistaken. It does not matter who came up with them, who taught them, how convincing they are, or how many people believe it. If it says something that the course DOES NOT SAY, it is wrong and is taking you away from the truth. If you believe something that explicit statements oppose, it is wrong and needs correction. And so we have to learn to be willing to put Jesus's truth above that of ourselves, other teachers, and anyone's opinion, if we are to listen and truly learn what it is trying to tell us.

We have to throw out all false models and concepts and all archaic interpretaitons. We especially need to beware of taking an interpretation over facts. If we want God's truth, we need to learn what it is, recognizing we do not know.

The one and only real thought system is the system of God's thinking in his mind in reality. There is really no other system of thought or function that makes sense or that is wholly sane.

If there were to be another system of thought, it would have to be completely different to God's system. So much so it would have to oppose and reject and deny and attack God's system in every way possible, in order to be different. "The world was made as an attack on God."

In the separation, we attempted to produce a second thought system. We wanted to think unlike God. We tried to oppose his will and to function in a way he did not design. We wanted to be opposite and different and dream of things that he would never think of.

What basically happened is, in our total freedom, we were able to use our freedom to try to stop being free. This is entirely within the laws of God. However, even though we're capable of trying to do this, what we find out is that it makes no sense to do it.

Trying to use will to will not to will anything, is obviously a circular logic. You need to use the very thing you are trying not to use, in order to try not to use it. At some point you'll realize that it's impossible to completely switch off will while still willing to be unwilling.

It should be obvious to us that even attempting to will against will is completely futile and pointless and cannot really produce any real effects. It's not that God prevents us from attempting this, only that when we do attempt it we are basically not making any sense. This causes us to produce what seems like a second system of thought which is based on insanity and self deception and denial.

This second system of thought, which we call the ego thought system, is a rejection of reality and truth. So it also rejects immortality and eternity and permanence and every attribute of God. This is what has produced the world of space and time and death and suffering, which are utterly impossible in God's reality.

So we invented, or tried to invent, a secondary system or way of thinking, which is referred to as a "lower order reality". It seems to have reality only in that we attempt to believe it is real, when it isn't. Or that we believe it is possible when it isn't. Or that we think it makes total sense when it doesn't. It is the ego thought system, and everything in it is contradictory and a lie.

These are the only two thought systems that are possible, and only one of them is ultimately possible. The second thought system is really an attempt to believe that something completely impossible is possible. Notions of living without God, of suffering, of mortality, or impermanence, are all impossible in God. Believing in them and trying to produce proof of them is self deception.

The only task then is the undoing of the second thought system entirely, which is the atonement. It is the cancelling out of the ego and the entire lower order reality, so that minds return to sanity and the acceptance of only God's thought system.

Only in God's system is it accepted as obvious that there is no point whatsoever in even attempting to oppose free will. Only in his light is it evident that when you try to use creation to not create, or to will nothingness, or to be something you can never be, you are trying to do something that you will never really do. And only in make-believe and wishful thinking could you ever believe that you are doing it.

To return your awareness to the one and only higher order reality, which is the only true and self-consistent reality, you first go through a phase of correction and purification. This means learning to admit that the false world is false, and that unreality is not possible. It's the process of exchanging the laws of spacetime for the laws of God. And of re-aligning yourself with the one and only truth.

At the pinnacle of this process, the mind is at the heights of consciousness and perception, which becomes inclusive and closely reflecting the way God thinks. It is still within the realm of illusions and unreality, but the system of thought is exposing itself to the light of heaven.

Eventually when this is complete, and a person is fully willing to accept that only thinking like God makes any sense, only his truth is true, only his laws are applicable, and nothing else is possible, atonement is fully accepted. In accepting it, the mind wakes up to the one thought system of God and the second thought system completely vanishes.

No-one can truly believe in both thought systems at once. That is why when you enter into belief in the lower order reality you become blinded to heaven. "You cannot behold the world and know God." "You cannot see two worlds." "The world you see must be denied because sight of it is costing you a different kind of vision."

Upon awakening to reality, that which seemed visible in the lower order becomes invisible to you. And that which seemed invisible in heaven becomes fully seen. Awareness returns as the knowledge of total reality returns to the mind, and the illusory world of contradictions disappears from sight.

"The world stands like a block before Christ's face. But true perception looks on it as nothing more than just a fragile veil, so easily dispelled that it can last no longer than an instant. It is seen at last for only what it is. And now it cannot fail to disappear, for now there is an empty place made clean and ready. Where destruction was perceived the face of Christ appears, and in that instant is the world forgot, with time forever ended as the world spins into nothingness from where it came."

"God made no contradictions. What denies its own existence and attacks itself is not of Him. He did not make two minds, with Heaven as the glad effect of one, and earth the other's sorry outcome which is Heaven's opposite in every way."

The first time that I became able to accept the atonement for myself, undoing a long-standing belief in a "real sin" that I had never been able to completely let go, Jesus said to me "now you will be able to perform miracles".

Notice that the steps I took to get to the atonement and accept it, which was an undoing and correction of fear, guilt, shame, and sin, was not in itself a miracle as such.

By being willing to accept that I was actually innocent in God's eyes because what I thought I had done had not really happened, that meant I was willing to agree that I deserved God's love and that I was, in truth, forgiven.

This meant I was willing and able to now receive love and therefore to love myself. And that means, I was now able to love others. At least a bit. The ability to express love only comes when you have becoming willing to receive it. And you don't have that willingness UNTIL you have accepted that the sin is not real - i.e. accept the atonement.

Miracles are EXPRESSIONS of love. They aren't just you shifting perception or accepting that you are lovable. That process is like opening the door for love to shine through. It is love shining through which has miracle-working power.

Today's lesson 140 says, "only salvation can be said to cure". And from this pertinent lesson:

"Atonement heals with certainty, and cures all sickness. For the mind which understands that sickness can be nothing but a dream is not deceived by forms the dream may take.

Sickness where guilt is absent cannot come, for it is but another form of guilt. Atonement does not heal the sick, for that is not a cure. It takes away the guilt that makes the sickness possible. And that is cure indeed. For sickness now is gone, with nothing left to which it can return."

Accepting the atonement gives you ACCESS to a state of mind which can CURE. A state of mind which can undo all sickness. A state of mind which has the power to perform miracles, which includes the likes of healing those who appear to be sick, helping your brothers and so on.

Just as Jesus did, you can forgive the so-called sins of others. Jesus said many times "your sins are forgiven". He had the power and authority to bestow that forgiveness on others, not just recognizing their sins were not real but also the ability to undo the symptoms and effects of that sin. He could produce a healing miracle on their behalf as an EXPRESSION of love. This is what you are capable of also.

All you need is love.