Honesty is the basic machinery of awakening. It means you have a willingness to accept what is true regardless of whether it suits your ego or makes you look good. It means putting the truth before your own personal position, and being willing to be seen in its light.
All parts of any forgiveness process entail honesty. You have to be honest to admit to and discern what is true and what is false. You have to be honest with yourself in accepting responsibility for having chosen everything you are experiencing. And it takes a lot of honesty to admit that you are not being victimized by anyone but yourself.
So honesty is really all about putting aside all of the ego pursuits, perspectives, and self-serving and face-saving attitudes, which are really all *lies*, and owning up to what's really going on. It's a matter of owning up to what is real rather than what you want to make of the situation.
Honestly also requires us to surrender every ego activity that we're using to try to win favor or defend ourselves or make ourselves look better. It means being what you really are, admitting to what really is, and accepting reality without you changing it.
Honesty is the best policy, because it is sanity. It is awakening. It is awareness of truth. It is allowing and accepting God's nature and presence. Sometimes it will take for you to really examine what you're doing and why and to have a 'little willingness' to admit the ways that you're mistaken or are trying to deceive. So really it all boils down to... is it really true... is it really factually real and true as in Holy Spirit's truth.... or is it false.
Honesty is the truth. Dishonesty is the lies.
So if we're to wake up to God and truth and reality, we're going to have to be really really really really really completely willingly honest at all times. Otherwise we're kidding ourselves, and fooling ourselves, and deceiving ourselves, and then we are the ones who end up suffering.
In all honesty, we are still as God created us. It we are willing to completely admit and accept that, it's game over for the ego.
Honesty gives you access to the truth which sets you free.
You can either accept what is real and true, or you can deny it. Denying it doesn't mean you change it, or make it go away. It just means you are unwilling to accept that it's still true. It means you're hiding from it and don't want to admit that it's true.
We're all living in a state of denial. A denial of reality, of God, of ourselves, of identity, of truth, of love etc. This denial of reality puts us out of touch with reality, which means we are insane. In this insanity, which is 'sin', we life a fantasy life pretending to be something we're not, such as a body.
Atonement is offered as "accepting the truth". That means accepting reality as it is, accepting who you and others really are, and no longer being at war with God. This puts you in "contact" with reality, because you've been out of touch with it.
"Miracles are examples of right thinking. Reality contact at all levels becomes strong and accurate, thus permitting correct delineation of intra- and interpersonal boundaries. As a result, the doer sees the truth as God created it. This is what is meant by the point on "perspective adjustment."
Our goal is to perceive the truth as God created it. Not to adjust it, or change it, or want something else to be true. To withdraw all artificial values and beliefs and powers and laws, accepting only those given by God. To recognize and accept and live only the reality and life given by God, in its original and raw unchanged form.
To do that we have to come out of denial. We may not even realize we are in denial, because being in denial is not exactly a state of admitting to anything. It's a state of lies and deceptions and an unwillingness to admit the truth. But we need to become aware of the ways that we are in denial, and overcome this denial.
To overcome denial we need to move into acceptance. Acceptance means agreement, and no longer be at war with reality. It means no more resistance, no more fear, no more hiding, no more pretending, just direct raw reality contact and deep honesty. This deep honestly permits full wholeness of awareness. Everything is seen in light and nothing is concealed. And in that state is innocence and peace.
We're basically pouting little ego children who don't want to admit that God loves us. We've thrown away our inheritance from God including his power and love. We think we know better and are in a bad mood off in some corner in the dark plotting revenge.
To get over this denial takes a lot of work to find a way to accept the facts. Acceptance is not easy because you believe that your resistance will get you what you want, will let you keep what you've lost, and will allow you to control reality. By remaining in denial, you can pretend that things are still how you want them. You can even pretend to not admit that someone died, for example, by not accepting that it's happened, as if this keeps them around.
In various ways we are sort of reacting to what we think of as the death of God, the separation, the absence of love. A rift and a relationship breakdown, as if we lost our home and our family and everything we loved and valued. And now everyone is in a state of loss trying to figure out how to get back what they lost, while believing they haven't lost it. When will we accept what is true, that nothing real can ever be lost?
"Everyone is looking for himself and the power and glory he thinks he has lost."
"denial of Life perceives its opposite, as ALL forms of denial replace what IS, with what is NOT. No-one can really DO this, but that you can THINK you can, and BELIEVE YOU HAVE, is beyond dispute."
"This is not difficult to realize in some forms which these self-deceptions take, for the denial of reality is very obvious."
"YOUR denial of reality precludes ACCEPTANCE of God's gift, BECAUSE YOU HAVE ACCEPTED SOMETHING ELSE IN ITS PLACE. If you understand that the misuse of defenses always constitutes an attack on truth, and truth is God, you will realize why this is ALWAYS fearful."
"It is the DENIAL of the spark that brings depression, and whenever you see your brothers WITHOUT it, you ARE denying God."
"Allegiance to the denial of God is the ego's religion. The god of sickness obviously demands the denial of health, because health is in direct opposition to its own survival."
"What makes this world seem real except your own denial of the truth which lies beyond?"
"For the separation is only the DENIAL of union, and, correctly interpreted, attests to your eternal knowledge that union is true."
"The task of the miracle-worker thus becomes to DENY THE DENIAL OF TRUTH."
"The ACCEPTANCE of peace is the denial of illusion, and sickness IS an illusion."
"The resurrection is the denial of death, being the assertion of life."
"ONLY YOU CAN DEPRIVE YOURSELF OF ANYTHING. Do not oppose this realization, for it is truly the beginning of the dawn of light. Remember also that the denial of this simple fact takes many forms, and these you must learn to recognize, and oppose steadfastly and WITHOUT EXCEPTION."
"That is why the ego IS the denial of free will."
"And therefore those who look on sin ARE seeing the DENIAL of the real world."
"All fear comes ultimately, and sometimes by way of very devious routes, from the denial of Authorship."
"Guilt hides Christ from your sight, for it is the denial of the blamelessness of God's Son."
"Being made out of the denial of the Father, the ego has no allegiance to its own Maker."
The only thing that we need to really do is to surrender to the will of God. To accept it. To accept the truth. This is the same thing as accepting the atonement.
Here's the fact of it all.
God's will is the truth. You can try to deny it, but you cannot change it.
You have immortality and perfection already because God created you immortal and perfect. This is why you need do nothing. You are already complete. You already have eternal life. There is nothing left to do. You cannot add anything to this or take anything away.
So anything else you are doing, any other attitude you have, it's really a form of DENIAL. Denial is the opposite of acceptance. Either you are willing to put aside and drop and let go of EVERY STORY that you've built to defend against the truth (which has made you sick), or you will continue to have fake experiences of suffering.
You can't change God's will. God has not changed his mind about you. It's rock solid, set in stone forever. More permanent than sin. More unchangeable than death.
So..... what is it we are doing? We're saying, oh, I'm not worthy of love, or... I've got some "reason" why I am not the way God created me... or, something's wrong with me, or I want things to be different to God's creation, or I don't want God's love I want something else, or... I think I can make something better, or I prefer my dream of death, or whatever... all these other "alternatives" which pretend to be desirable, wanted, chosen, possible, plausible, a replacement for the only truth.
All of it is false, all of it is a lie, all of it is denial and none of it works.
Only the truth is true. Only God's truth is true. There is absolutely ZERO room for negotiation. God's will cannot be opposed. You cannot create an alternative to heaven. There is nothing you want more than to share God. Nothing else can make you happier. There is no other source of love or life.
What are you going to do? Keep trying to find salvation somewhere else? Keep trying to accept something less satisfying? Keep looking for love in all the places that it does not exist?
At some point we have to simply SURRENDER and GIVE UP this futile search and ACCEPT that, all along, God's Will has been the only will.
This is what the prodigal son story is about.... finally surrendering and ADMITTING YOU ARE MISTAKEN and then giving up your futile attempts ... returning to God and ALLOWING HIM to be as He is. To be your truth. To let go of every other authority problem.
To those who say the course is not about surrender, because it never mentions surrender.... it is ENTIRELY about surrender. Letting go of the ego, giving up the fight, accepting the truth. It's all surrendering of what is not true, and accepting what is.
Can you just be honest and admit the truth that God does love you and you are loved and you are immortal already?
What you accept, you do not deny.
What you deny, you do not accept.
In order to awaken to reality, you must deny anything which is not real. And you must accept what is real.
Accepting what is real is the acceptance of the atonement. But this also goes hand in hand with denying what is not real.
If you deny what is real, and accept what is not real, you are in the ego thought system.
It is no more complicated than this.
"The denial of God is the ego's religion."
"True denial is a very powerful protective device. You can and should deny any belief that error (ego/dream/separation/world) can hurt you. This kind of denial is NOT a concealment device, but a correction device. The "Right Mind" of the mentally healthy DEPENDS on it."
Deny the world. Accept the Kingdom of God. That's all.
Refuse to accept illusions of sickness, suffering and death. They cannot be real because they are not part of the Kingdom.
Anything God did not create has no power over you. You must accept this. You should accept that only what God created is true. This is the acceptance of atonement and of your inheritance, and that you remain as God created you. Accept reality, deny unreality.
Accept truth, deny the false.
Accept heaven, deny hell.
Accept immortality, deny death.
Accept invulnerability, deny sickness.
Accept God, deny evil.
Accept love, deny murder.
Accept peace, deny suffering.
Accept innocence, deny guilt.
Accept yourself, deny what you are not.
FORGIVENESS, then, is really just a matter of getting your belief and mind into the right orientation. Where you ACCEPT only that which is of God as true, and DENY anything else. If your mind is in a state of accepting and recognizing REALITY, and denying unreality, you are miracle minded, which will force you to have true perception.
Another way of thinking about this is in terms of upside down or right-side up. The ego's thought system is upside down because it denies the higher reality and accepts the lower illusion. When you flip this and accept the higher reality and deny the lower illusion, your mind is "right side up". "it is the BEGINNING step in reversing your perception and turning it right side up"
"Readiness here means keep your perception right side up, (or valid), so you will ALWAYS be ready, willing, and able. These are the essentials for "listen, learn, and do." You must be READY to listen WILLING to learn and ABLE to do."
Forgiveness really therefore is quite SIMPLE, if you think of it solely in terms of what you are "accepting and denying". Accept only truth/God/reality/heaven and you'll be in a psychological state of right mindedness, with true perception and forgiveness. This require denying the world you made and recognizing it as false. Doing the opposite puts you into ego suffering.
Many ACIM folks appear to struggle between two sort of 'camps', in regards to whether to change the world or not.
There are many passages and quotable concepts in the Course which could be used to back up either viewpoint.
I think though the main reason people struggle with this is because the EGO has tremendous difficulty understanding anything outside of its backwards perspective.
For example, to the ego, control brings you freedom. It says that if you control things more, you'll be able to prevent all the things you don't want to happen, and enforce all the things you do want to happen. You'll 'get your way', and that means life will seem to be doing what you want it to do. And that is its interpretation of what freedom is.
The truth, which the ego cannot grasp or accept, is that control DIMINISHES your freedom, because it separates out some parts (of yourself ultimately) from others, sets them against each other, and elects to support only one of the two parts. Now your choices are diminished. In other words, if you choose A or B, once you've chosen, the other choice goes away, and now you are 'stuck' with the choice you made. This is freedom to the ego, but to your Real Self this is imprisonment.
So when you use the ego mind to try to understand a very basic principle like ACCEPTANCE, this I think is where the community's viewpoint hinges and stimulates controversy. It's because the ego does not understand HOW it could be possible that you can be accepting, or just working on changing how you perceive the world, and not be passive. So this is what it all pivots around.
Really these are the two conflicting attitudes of the EGO:
1) Accept everything as it is, don't try to change anything, be passive, work on your own mind, change your mind ABOUT the world, study in secret, don't tell anyone you're doing the Course, keep miracles to yourself, interpret miracles as shifts in your own perception only, and generally lay down any kind of 'interference' with the world as you go within. This is EGO because the ego has now separated you from the world, has isolated you to your body/mind with the justification of hundreds of Course quotes which SEEM to support its argument. This is EGO because the ego can't ALLOW there to be acceptance without interpreting it as SACRIFICE, i.e. the giving up of control which the ego thinks means like 'I need do nothing' i.e. I will literally stop expressing anything in the world. This is SPIRITUAL CONSTIPATION! You'll be stuck in your head and paralyzed from exerting the will and power of God. You will be disabled. The ego sees acceptance as disempowerment and disability, and this inspires all thoughts of how this kind of 'attitude' is the correct way to do the Course.
2) The second ego interpretation is that you aren't meant to just dwell on fixing your view of the world, but you're meant to change the world. Except that, to the ego, this means, using the ego to change the world. This turns into control. It turns into spiritualization of the world. It becomes the ego's party where all egos are invited to 'act spiritual' or to pursue special causes or use your ACIM learning to 'attack' what is. The EGO can't understand whatsoever how it could be possible to express something in the world and have it be ACCEPTING of the world at the same time. It does not get this. So if you were to express or exert or change the world, this is now considered 'unacceptable' to the Course theology, and therefore rejected by many students. And yet those who accept this idea then go on to shy away from some of the seemingly contradictory statements about acceptance or doing God's will or changing your mind and so on. This again is another ego play to flip your mind around a polarity of DUALITY, so that you stay within the ego thought system, and keep interpreting the course WITH the ego.
Neither of these camps have the truth.
Truth is of the Holy Spirit and his mind functions in a completely different way with rules that apply to all and which has no duality in it. The Holy Spirit has a completely different understanding of ACCEPTANCE. He has a completely different grasp of whether you are 'for or against' doing stuff in the world, knowing that this is a dualistic question. Holy Spirit would not see your 'accepting things as they are' attitude as being SEPARATE from 'being empowered to do God's will and heal the world'. And therefore, Holy Spirit supports BOTH camps combined, which completely defies the ego's logic.
It is possible to be accepting without that having to mean, you cut yourself off from the world or disappear into your intellectual correction of perception. It is possible to be accepting of what 'is' or what appears to be happening, while at the same time having the power and will to CHANGE IT. Because... after all, IT is just an effect of what's going on in the mind. IT is a dream that YOU are dreaming. So this has to mean, you can accept what you have made, but you can also make something different. So this division of separation in the community is really only there because the EGO has gotten ahold of the Course and DOES NOT understand the Holy Spirit's viewpoint or thought system.
As always with ANY polarizing, dualistic, separating set of questions, in which it seems that neither side seems to 'get it', this ALWAYS means that "there has to be a better way" and there always IS a third option. It's that third option that comes from Holy Spirit. Another way not just of looking at the situation, but another way of looking at HOW you look at looking at the situation.
You can accept without being controlling, and yet exercise tremendous freedom to intercede. "I [Jesus] inspire all miracles, which are really intercessions. They intercede for your holiness." - principle 32. "35 - Miracles are expressions of love, but they may not always have observable effects." - principle 35, which also means miracles USUALLY have observable effects, meaning they change the world.
There is not a contradiction here. The contradiction is in the ego mind that cannot understand this. It can't get it because the ego can only see WITH separation. It is blind to Oneness or true meaning. Any separation in the community has to be founded in the ego.
You can decide only this:
a) I am caused by God.
b) I am caused by the world.
When believing you are at the effect of the world, upset by someone, hurt by something, vulnerable in some way, offended, attacked, damaged, sick, etc.... you are believing that you are CAUSED BY the world, and thus that the world is your creator. It means you have forgotten that you are ONLY the result of God creating.
Anything true of you, anything about your nature, your condition, what you are, who you are, is entirely OUT OF YOUR HANDS. Who and what you are is purely God's decision and you have absolutely no power to change that. You can however deny that you are as God created you and pretend to be something else, but to do that you HAVE to make yourself be caused BY something else, hence needing an entire world and false God to be your new daddy.
Essentially, by rejecting God as your father and source of your inheritance, you are forced to see yourself as a victim of the world. You can't be denying God's fatherhood and expect to "get away with it" by being in a world but not attacked by the world. Either God will cause you, or the world will cause you. The only choice you have is which thought system you want to be caused by or a part of.
To know yourself is to recognize and remember that you are ONLY what God created, you a AS God created you, you have NO desire to make anything else of yourself, you cannot and have not changed, and you are STILL the perfect divine innocent being that HE chose to create. Accepting your real identity and nature, is accepting God as your father, and therefore accepting the truth about you.
You don't get to be the source of yourself, nor do you get to redefine who and what you are. As soon a you try to do so you deny God and your own self and invent an illusory identity. This is a state of denial, and so your false self is rooted in denial of yourself. It can hardly function in any healthy way when it is constantly attacking itself.
Either you can be in self attack, thus see yourself as caused by the world, or you can be healthy by seeing yourself as caused by God. If you are caused by God, you cannot be sick or dead or unhappy or vulnerable. If you are ONLY as God created you, and are under NO laws but God's, you are not under the laws of the world, nor are you caused BY the world or anything in it.
"Nothing in the world can bring oppression"
"I am not at the effect of the world I see."
"I am not a victim of the world."
"I am under no laws but God's."
"I am still as God created me."
"There is nothing about me that you cannot attain. I have nothing that does not come from God. The main difference between us as yet is that I have NOTHING ELSE. This leaves me in a state of true holiness, which is only a POTENTIAL in you."
Here's something that is very radical to many people. And this will sound crazy and ridiculous. But here is a fact.
Anything that seems to happen in this world is taking place in a dream, has NO REAL CONSEQUENCES, and does not cause anything to really happen. Ever!
Mind... "It dreams of time; an interval in which what seems to happen (ANYTHING YOU DO) never has occurred, the changes wrought (sins you commit) are substance-less, and all events (every consequence you seem to cause, ANYTHING that occurs) are nowhere."
Sin occurs in this world, through the body. "The world of bodies is the world of sin, for only if there were a body is sin possible."
And this means, any SIN that you committed here, through your body, anything you DID TO SOMEONE, anything that you "hurt", any damage you inflicted, anything you CAUSED here, any mistakes you made, any names you called people, any arguments you had, any attacks you perpetrated, anything murderous you committed, any crime, any hateful relationship, any accusation, ALL OF IT... HAS NOT HAPPENED IN REALITY.
This leads to a simple fact, relating to your HEALING. A REQUIREMENT for healing, remembering that only the ATONEMENT can be said to truly CURE you of this sense of "I sinned"....
YOU WILL NOT be able to LET GO of WHAT YOU DID IN SPACETIME, UNTIL you are able to recognize, believe, and accept, that you DID NOT DO what you think you did.
This truth flies in the face of everything that your senses are telling you. It flies in the face of all evidence, all proof, all consequences. It flies in the face of the ramifications, fallout, consequences, chain reactions, effects, and all outcomes that seemed to be set in motion "because of what you did".
It literally means that you MUST DENY, WITH TRUTH, that you DID what you think you did. You MUST DENY all of the consequences and all "proof". This is where it becomes radical and seemingly ridiculously crazy, because in order to accept the ATONEMENT truth that THERE IS NO SIN, or that NOTHING HAPPENED, you HAVE to IGNORE all of this so-called "evidence".
In fact, you have to get your mind to the point where you recognize that "what you did" (sin) in space and time, in the past, or what you are doing now, IS NOT HAPPENING and DID NOT HAPPEN IN REALITY. Because this world IS NOT REALITY. This world has to BE not reality, IN ORDER FOR the atonement to be true. Because you can't be accepting that what bodies do is REAL and expect to escape from sin. It's impossible!
You MUST not believe in anything that has happened in this world otherwise EVERYTHING that "has happened" is the literal unquestionable, irreversible sinful truth. If bodies and what bodies DO is real or has any truth in it, it CANNOT be undone. If bodily activities have REAL consequences, real effects, the body is CAUSAL. Which makes sin real. Anything the body does is effectively sin, even breathing. It must be recognized as NOT REAL otherwise sin becomes real.
The body and its sins were the entire device by which we TRIED TO MAKE SIN REAL. We made bodies in order to have something to attack WITH. Bodies attacking bodies, sinning against bodies. We made bodies in order to try to prove that SINS HAPPEN. That sins produce PROOF and EVIDENCE that "something happened". Something you can look at with the body, and point to with the body's finger, and label as "THAT EVIDENCE PROVES THERE WAS A SIN". The world's entire "legal" system is based on this lie.
So it's very radical but until you can get to the point where you recognize and correctly frame your DEEDS as "DID NOT OCCUR IN REALITY"... that NOTHING REAL was threatened, that reality has not been hurt or damaged or caused BY you, you will find that you CANNOT LET GO. You won't be able to let go of a feeling of guilt, inferiority, unworthiness, shame, fear etc. In fact, until this is accepted fully and completely we cannot let go of death.
The atonement CURES. FULLY! It literally ERASES all trace of sin and death and makes them IMPOSSIBLE. And "only atonement can be said to cure." It is a REAL CURE, because it uproots the ENTIRE "event" that you think happened. It recognized, AS FORGIVENESS, that what you think you did YOU DID NOT DO, IT DID NOT HAPPEN, IT WAS NOT REAL, IT DID NOT TAKE PLACE IN REALITY, YOU DID NOT SIN AND THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES. And therefore, you MUST STILL BE INNOCENT.
This leads to the recognition, and acceptance, and allowance, that GOD STILL FINDS YOU INNOCENT, and therefore that God still loves you! That you ACCEPT GOD'S TRUTH. You will ONLY be able accept the love of God by accepting that you have NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG. Any belief that you sinned, you will hold as PROOF that you CANNOT BE LOVED because you find yourself unworthy of love, because you are not innocent enough. You will reason that God DOES NOT, SHOULD NOT, AND CANNOT love you, because you "really did sin". And "real sin" IS a belief in unforgiveness. Not merely the belief that you DID something, but also the belief that IT CANNOT BE UNDONE.
**MIRACLES** are the movement towards forgiveness, as atonement, which UNDOES what the world of sin testifies can never be undone. This DIRECTLY ties into the fact that you MUST DEMONSTRATE THE ABSENCE OF PROOF OF SIN in order to TRULY believe and live the truth that you did not cause sinful effects. TRUE forgiveness heals the mind, AND ERASES THE EVIDENCE. Proof that "it happened" cannot remain. In the acceptance that you DID NOT DO what you think you did, you are setting in motion the UNDOING of the consequences. The Holy Spirit HAS the power to undo ALL the consequences of your sinful decisions if you will let him.
To set yourself free from GUILT, you MUST accept the CURE of the atonement. You must accept that you DID NOT SIN. Not that you "did something but it wasn't sinful". But rather that you WERE MISTAKEN TO BELIEVE THAT YOU DID IT AT ALL! Yes, this means you must accept that it did not really OCCUR. That any "occurrence" was A DREAM. It was an ILLUSION of a sin "happening". It did NOT HAPPEN in reality and so did not really happen at all. What your BODY told you HAPPENED was a LIE! This requires you to QUESTION even your OWN EVIDENCE, even your MEMORY, even lingering "physical proof", that seems to "tell you" that you really DID do something that you can't deny.
YOU MUST DENY THAT SIN HAPPENED. Sin is impossible! You must deny that you ever DID anything here at all. We are ONLY dreaming of a made up fantasy world in which MADE UP FANTASY STUFF seems to happen. NONE of it is really happening. NO ONE IS GUILTY. NO ONE HAS **EVER** SINNED. All sin is an illusion and a lie. EVERYONE IS PERMANENTLY INNOCENT. Accepting that is the ONLY way to become WILLING TO LET THE SIN GO, because only by recognizing it WAS NOT REALLY SIN will you ALLOW yourself to forgive yourself.
Accepting your innocence is your goal and it will HEAL YOU and set you FREE FROM ALL SUFFERING. This is why accepting atonement is your number one responsibility. It is the only act that FINALLY WORKS. ONLY accepting atonement can truly CURE YOU! It has the power to undo sin and death and restore your IMMORTALITY.
YOU ARE INNOCENT AND HOLY FOREVER. GOD CREATED YOU INNOCENT AND HOLY FOREVER. Accepting that this is TRUE, CURES the separation.
"Thus does the miracle undo all things the world attests can never BE undone (anything you DID!). And ***hopelessness and death MUST disappear*** before the ancient clarion call of life. This call has power FAR beyond the weak and miserable cry of death and guilt. The ancient Calling of the Father to His Son, and of the Son unto his own, will yet be the last trumpet that the world will ever hear. Brother, there is no death. And this you learn when you but wish to ***show your brother that you had no hurt of him***. He thinks your blood is on his hands, and so he stands condemned. But it is given you to ***SHOW him, by your healing***, that his guilt is but the fabric of a senseless dream."
"***Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred*** (HAS NOT OCCURRED!!!). It does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees ***there was no sin*** (YOU DID NOT DO ANYTHING EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU DID!!!) And in this view are all your sins forgiven. What is sin except a false idea about God's Son? Forgiveness merely sees its falsity, and therefore lets it go. What then is free to take its place is now the Will of God."
"I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace.
I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise.
I want to decide otherwise, because I want to be at peace.
I do not feel guilty, because ***the Holy Spirit will undo all the consequences of my wrong decision if I will let Him***.
I choose to let Him, by allowing Him to decide for God for me."
To accomplish this you need to portray yourself as different from God - not loving and not lovable.
You proceed to arrange for a whole bunch of people to come along and attack you. They are to do it out of the blue and it should appear to be uncalled for.
To make it uncalled for, you go into denial (amnesia) which puts you into a body. This body-self can now be attacked by the people you hired.
They come along and attack you and you feel affected. It changes your view of yourself. It makes you feel unloved. You use it to redefine yourself as unloved and unworthy of love. Apparently their actions proved it to you.
Now you, as the so-called victim, get to pretend that you did not ask for this at all. You also get to use this entire "I've been victimized" STORY, to describe and rationalize and justify why you're perfectly entitled to feeling unworthy. It was other people's choices, not your own. You claim you never hired them and didn't ask for it.
You feel sorry for yourself, hurt, destroyed, unloved, unworthy, sometimes to a very serious degree. It feels awful and you feel unfairly treated and sad about what happened to you. But, this is a fantastic disguise.
The unworthiness rejects love and portrays you as separate from God, because if God can't love you then you've had power over God's will. So indirectly, by way of your own self-arranged role of victim, you get to explain why God can't love you, which fulfills your WISH - your secret plan - to deny and reject God.
At some point you have to admit what you've done. You have to realize that you arranged everything to happen, you asked everyone to attack you, you orchestrated all of the events before you came into them, and you positioned yourself as a victim in order to disguise your secret death wish. You wanted to be dead because that would prove you are not like God, who is Life.
So if you're going to get honest, you will have to admit you did all of this. And since you arranged it all, you can no longer blame anyone. You can't blame the attackers. You can't use them to justify your unworthiness. And you can't keep up the PRETENSE that you are unworthy because, let's face it, you WANT to be unworthy on purpose so that you can deny God.
So really, as you allow this TRUTH to sink in, it is setting you free, because it's showing you that, really, nobody else has done anything against your will. You chose all of this. Sick as it may be, you did this to yourself.
Once you become REALLY CLEAR about this fact, completely owning up to this 100% without any blame on any external cause or anyone doing it to you or you being unfairly treated in any way, that it's all a big LIE, you are left with a simple situation.
There you are, all alone, having let everyone else off the hook (they were just doing their job which you hired them to do), you no longer can pin the responsibility on anyone else. Not even on God. It's not God's fault. So you're holding this whole game in your own hands, and you realize - the secret to salvation: You have done this to YOURSELF. All of it. The whole drama and the whole story that backed it up.
So if you did this to yourself, and if there is nowhere to PROJECT the blame, and you're taking full responsibility, THEN ...... you're going to experience something very obvious. You're going to experience what it feels like to admit that you have done nothing but be SELF DEFEATING. You haven't been defeated by anyone else or any other will. You've defeated yourself. And how does defeat feel?
Self defeat feels like TOTAL FUTILITY. That it is pointless. If nobody else is doing this to you - and you're fully clear on that - then - what's the point? Why continue with this game? Why continue with doing this to yourself when all of the 'reasons' - the false justifications and blame - has been shown for what it is, a lie? Why WOULD you do this to yourself?
When you get to this point and with nobody to project this onto, you ONLY have one decision. Either you keep feeling like SHIT, or you stop playing this silly ego game. Are you enjoying feeling unworthy for NO reason, especially when you DON'T HAVE TO? Accepting love starts to look a heck of a lot more attractive when you start to compare what your two options really are - do I give up this FUTILE fight against myself, which is only making me feel SHIT, or do I ADMIT that this isn't WORKING - it isn't making me HAPPY, and just drop the whole God-dam thing?
Why not just drop it and go back to God? Why keep fighting and denying and trying not to be loved, when love is perfectly on offer? You can't stop God from loving you. And he hasn't born a grudge because of your reluctance to accept it. So love is on offer, and you feel shit, and now what? Are you done feeling shit? Or do you want some more shit? Go ahead if you want some more. Maybe you are not ready yet. But typically (I am being presumptuous), once you take that full responsibility and stop projecting, and OWN the decision YOU made to WANT to deny love, you're probably going to realize how tremendously ridiculous it is, with no real merit at all. And that's probably enough to make you decide to SURRENDER.
Like, over here there's this big gleaming CAKE that you can eat and have as much as you like and it tastes great, OR you can go and starve and die. Your choice. Or, over here there is massive amounts of love that is totally FREE with no strings attached, being offered unconditionally, OR you can go rot in a corner feeling miserable.
Your choice. It was your choice to deny that God exists. It is still your choice whether you are WILLING to ACCEPT His love again. And this is where acceptance comes in. The opposite of denial is acceptance. Either you're denying love, or you're accepting it. Either you're choosing against love, or you're choosing FOR love.
And this is where it is decision time. You now get to CHOOSE. Do I want life, or death? Do I want happiness, or hell? Do I want love, or war? You choose. Nobody's forcing you. There's no pressure. You are free.
HOPEFULLY .... you will see enough SENSE, that you will choose to admit to the futility of your choice, and you will admit it is futile, and you will drop it. You'll drop your fight and just say, FUCK IT, I'm going back to God... going back Home to love. Why not! THERE IS NOTHING TO LOSE - because you already lost everything when you denied love. THERE IS EVERYTHING TO GAIN, because God is offering everything you could possibly want that you've been missing out on. It's a total WIN.
So now you choose God, by ACCEPTING what God is offering - the truth about God - love - and thus accepting that you are NOT separate from God, that the denial is a lie - God DOES exist, that God DOES love you, and that nothing has changed. This is accepting the ATONEMENT. You are becoming at-one with what you previously thought was separate.
Acceptance is peace.
Surrender your will and allow God to restore your sanity.
You need His love.
Choose again.
I was being controlling. I did not want things to be the way they are. i wanted to stop them being the way they are and be different. I could not accept that this was okay or that it should be this way.
But I did not realize the effect that this control has on the world.
When I resist what's happening, I resist by attempting to control and reject what's going on. I try to shut it out, at the same time as trying to put into place some kind of 'alternative' that I think is better or more correct. So there I am in a state of strong rejection, and strong enforcement, simultaneously - which obviously is conflicting and therefore upsetting.
I did not realize that my attempt to resist and control was actually CAUSING the situation I was looking at, to appear to me in the way it was appearing.
The more I did not like what was happening, the more I tried to stop it and control it. But the more I did that, the more the situation seemed to get further from how I wanted it.
The more we control, the more we resist. So now that I am in resistance, that resistance only becomes stronger as I become more passionate about forcing things to be how I think they should be. In fact, it's really impossible for me to HAVE things the way I want them, because to make them be that way takes a tremendous amount of control and manipulation, which means I am in tremendous resistance, which means I am not in a state of acceptance.
There never will be a time when I can both be controlling and enforcing situations while also experiencing acceptance. So in effect, i will never be able to experience that the outcome I wanted has actually occurred and that I am at peace with it. Unless that is I became SO incredibly controlling that I violated boundaries and rights attempting to get others to change. Which would of course be completely inappropriate on many levels.
I did not know that trying to control a situation makes it worse, and takes it further from acceptability. How can anyone ever find the peace of acceptance through being controlling? Good luck.
The more I saw the situation is needing to be controlled because it was 'out of control' and unacceptable, the more the people involved seemed to become even more out of control and unacceptable. Funny that. They reacted to my controlling efforts with their own resistance against my attacks, so no wonder the scenario I was trying to get away from simply became more stuck and rigid. What you resist persists.
My strategy is now shifting. I need to learn to be accepting, not controlling. Allowing, not enforcing. Permitting, not resisting. And that means, or at least seems to mean to my ego, that I cannot have things the way I want them. Which to the ego, seems to suck, right?
My ego wants to have a world where I get to 'control' certain things, even if it's only in the scope of my 'own life' or my 'own body'. I still want to have that control over 'my' life. And so that really means, I am wanting to control MYSELF. How strange is that?
Control isn't the same as free will. And having no control does not mean you don't have freedom. In fact you have more freedom when you are not controlling. How's that for a paradox? Control takes away your freedom instead of giving it to you! Yet another way in which the ego says one thing and does the exact opposite.
So then, to my intellect, it doesn't understand how I can be accepting and uncontrolling and still be in any way 'happy' about what's going on, or how I can have any 'say' in what's going on. It doesn't understand how it's possible to accept what is, and yet have the freedom and power to do something to change something. It sees acceptance as the doorway to powerlessness, to no choice, to passivity and victimhood. Interesting how the ego sees it this way in order to avoid acceptance, because if you become really accepting you become empowered.
Acceptance without powerlessness or passivity. A novel concept.
When you resist something in life, when you can't accept the fact of what is, or what has seemingly happened, when you are fighting with it and don't want it and want it to be a different way, you WILL experience being unhappy.
Resistance itself, causes unhappiness.
As you resist, what is happening? You're putting up barriers, you're shutting down, you're trying to control, you're blocking out what is, you're fighting, you're wasting a lot of futile energy not being able to change any facts, you're draining yourself on impossible wishes, you're running up against reality, etc.. And all of these actions, are experienced AS feelings of unhappiness, feelings of anger, feelings of sadness and fear, feelings of exhaustion, feelings of threat and danger, feelings of intensity and tension.
Now, when you are resisting life, no matter what in particular, what you need to realize is that it is the resisting ITSELF that doesn't feel good. You will resist, thinking that you feel unhappy 'because of' the thing you are resisting. You'll think, you feel angry or outraged or upset 'because of' what you don't want to be happening. Whatever it is that you 'cannot accept', you will say that THAT is causing you to feel unhappy.
This is not true at all.
ALL of the feelings and experiences of unpleasantness, unhappiness, upset, anger etc... all of them are PART OF what it feels likes like to RESIST WHAT IS. And it doesn't matter what form your opponent takes, because ultimately 'what is' is God, and any form of resisting God shuts God out, and that does not feel good at all. If you shut God out, you will shut out love, light, happiness, joy, peace, harmony. So you can be pretty much guaranteed, if you resist what's happening, you MUST feel unhappy and upset.
So now, realize this. .... unhappy feelings are caused by RESIST-ING, not by what you are resisting against. Resistance in other words, is a form of skapegoating, in which you're trying to make out that 'they' - your enemy - are the cause of your problem. That they are causing all of the anger you feel, all of the unhappiness you feel, all of the tension and stress that you feel. It's all their fault. It's all the fault of 'what is' (ultimately blaming God). But this is not only spiritually irresponsible, it is also deluded. What you're resisting against or fighting against is NOT the cause of your upset. The cause of your upset is ONLY, the fact that YOU are choosing to resist it.
That's all. There is no other reason why you are unhappy other than that you are choosing to resist what is, and are then blaming or justifying 'why' you are resisting, onto the other person or situation. It's not their fault that you're resisting them. It's not their fault you are unhappy. It's not the 'now's fault that you are going off into the past and future on a tirade story of how you've been victimized.
Ultimately then, all of the experience of victimhood and suffering and upset and unhappiness is a DECISION YOU ARE MAKING, in order to justify and explain WHY you are choosing not to ACCEPT what is. Why you are not accepting God.
"You are never upset for the reason you think" - ACIM
"You are upset because you see something that is not really there" - ACIM
What you see that you think is there, is an enemy who has suddenly arisen out of 'what is', which you have labelled as wrong, having given it all the meaning it has, and now you are in a state of resisting, which you chose, and because of this choice, you are now experiencing suffering. AND THIS IS ALL YOUR OWN DOING TO YOURSELF.
"The secret to salvation is this, that you are but doing this all to yourself." - ACIM
SOOOOO..... what this means is... and here's the clincher....
*IF* you were to decide to stop resisting and fighting with what is, IF you were to choose to ACCEPT IT, instead of trying to move away from it, IF you were to choose to ALLOW IT, instead of trying to make it be something else, IF you were to choose to WELCOME IT, then guess what's going to happen to how you feel?
You're suddenly going to feel more peaceful, more happy, more calm, more joyous, more free, more empowered, more clear, more alive. All your feelings of suffering are going to just disappear. Just like that. All your upset, all your anger and outrage, all your depression, all your sickness, all your sadness, all of it is going to just disappear because you're choosing to welcome GOD. God is what is. Accepting what is is far closer to accepting God, and God is love, and accepting love HEALS YOU.
So.... realize this..... if you choose resistance, you will INVENT and manifest sickness and suffering, purely because you are resisting. And before you resisted, you did not have any of this. And as soon as you resisted, the suffering showed up. And now in your resistance you are suffering, but you're trying to blame the cause of it onto the thing you're resisting against. It's got nothing to do with that. Resist, you suffer. Don't resist, you be happy. That's all it boils down to. It's a black and white decision.
Either you accept what is and be happy and at peace.
Or you resist what is and experience suffering and unhappiness.
You cannot resist and be happy. You cannot fight and be at peace. You cannot blame and be at peace.
So really nothing is happening to you. The thing you resist is not causing your suffering. The people you don't like are not causing your suffering. The group you didn't want aren't causing your suffering. The suffering is YOUR WAY OF RESISTING THEM.
So you chose it. You're literally doing it to yourself. And the only way to NOT suffer, is to give up your position. You cannot maintain your position of resistance AND be at peace or happy. It is IMPOSSIBLE!
Choices:
a) resist what's happening and be unhappy and suffer and sick and die, you can never win and you will never get your way.
b) allow and accept what's happening and be completely happy and at peace and still not get your way, but at least you are happy.
So resistance is a smokescreen where you pretend to be justified in resisting. But resistance itself is what makes you suffer and is the sole CHOICE to cause yourself to suffer. You say, "I'd rather resist this and suffer and be upset". And then you project it. Your only other option is. ... accept the truth. Accept the facts. Surrender to what is. Allow it
Then you can be happy and at peace. And then what the fuck does it matter what's happening?