"This meant that man had no needs at all. If he had not deprived himself, he would never have experienced them. After the Separation, needs became the most powerful source of motivation for human action. All behavior is essentially motivated by needs, but behavior itself is not a Divine attribute. The body is the mechanism for behavior."
"Within HIMSELF he HAS no needs, for light needs nothing but to shine in peace, and from ITSELF, to let the rays extend in quiet to infinity."
"It is a recognition that you HAVE no needs which mean that something must be DONE."
"Father, in Heaven it is different, for there, there are no needs."
"I need do nothing".
If you do not believe you HAVE love, that you are love, and that you share love, you will see yourself as lacking love. This absence of love, emptiness, darkness (absence of light), will form a barrier against the love that is in you, blocking it from sight.
You will then "seek and not find" love FROM anywhere else, because you don't recognize that it is in you already. You'll see yourself as "in need", and DEPENDENT UPON, others, to supply the lack of love to you. This forms the foundation of "special love", in which you want to be loved by anyone BUT YOU, need to be loved, request to be loved, and try to coerce others into loving you. Self hate produces murderous desperation.
A healthy person does not need anyone to love them because not only is God loving them 100%, they are receiving that love and they ARE love. They can't experience the absence of love in themselves, and so have no "need to get love". And so they are now seeking special relationships in which to try to satisfy a gaping hole.
When you are needing love from others, you are believing that you are unworthy of love, so the seeking for love is not really genuine. On the surface is seems like you desperately want love but underneath it's based on the belief that you seriously are lacking it. And both contradictory beliefs are held in unison. So long as this is the case, love won't be received or deeply accepted within you. Nor can anyone give you what you really already have.
It's a myth that we are supposed to be "loved by others". Or rather, it is natural to be loved by everyone but it is unnatural to NEED to be. Love can be shared, but you share love not because you need it. You share it because you HAVE it, and because it brings you joy to increase it by sharing it, by giving it and receiving it equally. As soon as you enter into a lack of love for yourself, you will see love's absence and try in vain to find it somewhere else.
This inevitably is going to produce codependency because now you are in a position of trying to bargain for love, to coerce, to manipulate and control, while also being dependent on the source of that love. Addicted to getting the love from "somewhere else", or "someone else". Feeling like crap when you're not around them. Having an illusion of feeling somewhat better when they're giving you what your ego wants. Upset when they reject you. Unable to SUSTAIN a state of happiness regardless of what people are doing.
We have to be the love. We are the love. Love is our natural inheritance. If we block awareness of it we'll think we don't have it and won't give it. But by giving it you activate the flow and begin to acknowledge that you have it. It's natural to flow love when you are naturally unlimited and not blocked. It doesn't take effort. Being effortlessly loving is natural and miracles are natural expressions of love. But if we can't or are unwilling to acknowledge the perfection, lovability, divinity, holiness, innocence etc in ourselves, we aren't going to allow ourselves to recognize that we have the love already.
God put love in you, because God is love. You are permanently a host to God. Allow God to be in you and through you and you are already filled to overflowing. Reject God and you reject love and become needy. Accept God and you receive love and have no needs.
God's will is already done.
There is no separation between cause and effect. He has willed what you are, and you share His will with Him. You can therefore will to extend the Kingdom of God and to Create in His likeness.
However, the idea of a separate will is an ego idea. It's really the attempt to STOP the will of God, which means to not have a will at all. It is wishful thinking, because it can't be possible to truly have a separate will.
If you will with God, you will have Life. If you will against God, to have a different will, you will have death. Death is the absence of real will.
Also when you will against God, which is really a withdrawal from willingness, a refusal to will, you will go into the ego split mind in which there will appear to be "your will" and an external "alien will". You'll also believe the body has its own will along with everyone else. Multiple split wills.
Once cause and effect are separated out it's going to appear that everything external has its own will, and that it is willing against you, because you no longer see the connection between cause and effect. So you can't have your "own" will without simultaneously creating an "alien will" that is in opposition to your own. Therefore your separate will is the persona, and the alien will appears to be the shadow. And then everything "you" will separately will be thwarted by the shadow, and you'll be at war - a battle of wills.
As the Course says, there is a metaphysical curriculum of awakening with fundamental truths you need to come to. You cannot change that curriculum because it's the same for everyone (even outside of ACIM), but you can seem to delay learning the truth (the time you take it). You do that by seemingly having your own ego will which goes off busying itself and spinning its wheels and avoiding and denying, which you will then think is free will.
You are free to choose because God's love is not forceful and won't stop you from trying to be separate, but when you are without God's will you will have barely any will at all. That's why you can't perform miracles, which are supposed to be happening all the time. Without God's will miracles are impossible, and Life is impossible.
You will think you have a "life", and that it's your own life, which you control, or have autonomy over, with an authority separate from God, but that's an ego claim. Its a delusion, because in truth your will and God's will are shared, and will only exists when there IS a sharing of real will (God's Will). Will has to be extended, and the ego's will does not extend, it just projects.
Also the ego does not really ever will that you wake up or accept truth or be open to sharing with God or to receive a "cure" that undoes the ego.. It "wills" that you be dead, which is a giving up of the "will" to live. All attempts to have a will separate from God are attempts to relinquish free will and be a victim - the victim who appears to have no will power to actually take action or prevent death. And then the death of the body-identified person is allegedly the death of God's will. The end of Eternal Life.
In a similar vein to that you think you think, but you really only share the thoughts of the thought system you are aligned with, you "think you will", or wish you will, according to the thought system you belong to. Either you are willing "with" the ego, or you are willing with God. And the ego's "will" will be against God's will, because it's just a device for denial. Then whatever the ego wills, which is your death, will become what you're actually choosing and will experience. If you don't want that, you have to align with God's will and accept eternal life. You don't have any other options outside of which of the two thought systems you share in.
You can be of service to God, or of service to the ego. There is no other "separate" will that you have of your 'own' independent of both. Either you're in the "Life Will" or in the "Death Wish".
God's will not my will be done.
If you were witness to a miracle happening, you would probably be simultaneously in awe, perhaps frightened, stunned, and it would also defy a whole bunch of 'laws' that you believe are true.
If it seems that it can't be possible that someone's broken leg is suddenly healed, there is just "no way" that you can accept that this is possible, and yet it happens in front of your face, or even to your own body, this is going to produce a whole bunch of reactions.
One of the things that witnessing a miracle will do is it will DEMONSTRATE to your mind, factually and experientially, that something has just happened which does not FIT into your belief system or your idea of reality. Something just occurred which defies all of the laws that you thought were real. That alone will EDUCATE you, by demonstration and experience, that the laws you thought were true cannot be.
It will also cause your mind to become momentarily aware of a state of being which transcends form. "Miracles are temporary shifts into invisibility, that is why they heal" - ACIM.
"Principle 16 - Miracles are teaching devices" - ACIM
If one moment your hand is burnt, and then in the next moment your hand is suddenly not burnt, this miracle will defy and transcend all physical laws. Your mind will not be able to process this at the ego level. It will be bypassed. Your mind will become aware even if just briefly, that bodies can't be real, or at least that physical form can't be 'stuck' being in a certain state, and this will give you access to TRUTH experientially. This will undermine possibly everything you believe in, but you won't be able to deny it. (The attempt to then DENY this 'attack by truth' will make you sick. ;-)
This is similarly what happened when Jesus went through the crucifixion. He did it to demonstrate that the body is not real and death is not real. When one moment the body seems to be being tortured and killed, and then seems to die, and then a few days later shows up again as though nothing happened... it's not just a matter of oh look, there's Jesus.. your mind instead is going to have an instantaneous shift in awareness.
If Jesus is showing you to your face, that bodies can be switched on and off at will, one moment being dead and the next moment being perfectly alive again, you aren't going to initially be able to comprehend HOW, and just the mere fact of you experiencing this will SHOW YOU and make you aware that the body CAN'T be real - that death CAN'T be real, because here is the PROOF of that staring you in the face.
This has a profound healing effect on the mind and CAUSES awakening.
This is why miracles are also teaching devices because they demonstrate the truth and bypass all of the ego's laws and give examples of, experiences of, the truth in action. They educate by example that the physical laws CANNOT be true. And so they have the potential to instantly awaken and to instantly destroy illusions and false beliefs.
If Jesus showed up next to you right now, and then told you to shoot him dead, and you did it, and then he got up and there was no bullet hole and he was perfectly fine, it would blow your mind. Your mind would HAVE to expand in order to accommodate the evidence. It would show you perhaps for the first time in your life a demonstration of how bodies are not real. And you would've been always assuming that bodies are fixed and objective and constant and all the other illusions about them. And now suddenly Jesus shows you that they are nothing but images which can be flipped into any state at a moment's notice... that totally blows your entire world view about what bodies are. It's highly educational.
That's why Jesus uses miracles for TEACHING, because they demonstrate the truth and teach by experiential example, which defies the ego's thought system and baffles onlookers, causing them to be forced into an awakening.
This is also why many Course students DO NOT REALLY BELIEVE IN MIRACLES, because it is such a world-defying, body-defying, mind-warping, totally transcendent experience that the ego cannot conceive of it, does not support it, doesn't believe in it, can't be open to it, and doesn't understand it. So there is a LOT of resistance against the idea that Jesus LITERALLY is teaching us to perform such miracles.
Our mind in its natural state is joined with our Soul and with God. In this state, it receives the causal expression and extends it. In a sense, the mind does not have its own content, it just extends what it receives.
After separating from God and ourselves, the mind is cut off from its "owner". This is due to a separation introduced between cause and effect. That which at the effect, the mind, starts to see itself as causeless, and so begins to make up its own ideas about what it is and what is true.
This turns the mind from being an extender of truth, to being a solo broadcaster of imagination.
The problem then is that anyone with an ego tends to broadcast a lot, and tends to receive very little. Being alone or isolated or trying to live without God makes us weak, vulnerable, afraid and helpless. Yet it also makes us spew out "noise", the noisy broadcasts of the ego, which basically is an attempt to be recognized as the cause of oneself, rather than being caused by God or Soul.
In a world where so many people are broadcasting themselves, there isn’t much listening. Consequently, even though people are broadcasting loudly, 24/7, everyone is talking over everyone else. People then are not really being present, available, un-distracted with themselves, or able to pay full attention. That means that those who are broadcasting, paradoxically end up not being heard.
This is because the rest of the broadcasters are not willing to receive. So no matter how loud you shout, if everyone else is also shouting your expressions will be stunted and stifled and you won’t feel like anyone really listens to you. In fact, the more that you shout louder in an attempt to be heard more, you will be heard less.
Many people in this world are expressing the ego. Few are expressing silence or stillness or presence or quietness or a willingness to receive. If you yourself become willing to receive from Spirit, your own mind will become quiet and you will subsequently become willing to receive ie listen to and pay attention to, what other people are expressing. Without distraction from your own thoughts or memories or judgements or attempts to process or reflect on what someone said.
Learning to listen is part of waking up, because it entails your own willingness to listen to Spirit. That means instead of running your own show, you turn your mind and your life over to the care of God. You become willing to receive input from Spirit. You become willing to trust Spirit. You become willing to let Spirit guide your every action, to even speak for you and through you.
The willingness to receive is what has become blocked by the ego. Separations and blocks to awareness are attempts to not listen to God, to hide from God, to replace God’s Word with your own, and to make up your own truth. Becoming willing to accept Atonement entails becoming willing to receive from God, to be guided by God, to allow yourself to accept love, and to let miracles be performed through you.
Therefore as you tune into Spirit, handing over your stolen life to its rightful owner, and giving back control of the mind to Love, you automatically become a better receiver and listener. You become better at being present. You become more available. And you start to allow others to fully express, willing that you receive everything they are offering. This simultaneously creates space for them to fully express themselves, to be heard, and to know that their expressions are not being met by deaf ears or a wall of selfishness. This holding space alone can be very healing.
You simply need to put all of your ego distractions aside, pay full undivided attention to the person, let them express absolutely anything they want to without interrupting or interfering or offering advice or any kind of transmission, without your secret mental judgements or attempts to chew on what they expressed, free of your reactions and defenses, just totally being fully present for them.
Do this for someone and you’ll be offering a tremendous healing service just by listening attentively without judgement. Afterwards, even if their ego erupts in a free-flow of expression, they will feel so peaceful and relieved that finally they could express themselves fully without someone being self-absorbed with their own ego reactions.
Give the gift of unconditional receiving and listening to someone this year. Let them have the microphone 100%, not 50%. Let them tell you whatever they want to tell you and just receive it.
Giving and receiving are one.
As you heal something about yourself in your mind, you will stop having reactions.
I used to react to the big truckload of fresh live pigs that used to be shipped into the sausage factory across the street. I believed it was awful. It triggered me. I felt angry and guilty. Then I looked at how this was nothing to do with pigs or factories and was about myself. And what I found out was that I felt guilty for catching and killing butterflies when I was younger. And so I did forgiveness on that and reclaimed some real truth about myself, instead of the guilty self I made up. And I was freed from this guilt. And so now when I see the pig truck, there is no reaction. There is nothing TO trigger.
I've also experienced this before where someone would say something to me and it would trigger me. I would feel that what this person said was true, even if I was in denial and claiming it was untrue, and it brought to the surface a reaction of guilt within myself. This feeling of being guilty and wrong and ashamed kept surfacing whenever this thing was said to me. And then I went through some genuine healing and forgiveness and reclaiming of real truth, and this melted some of this guilt away.
The 'guilty identity' that was in me diminished. I stopped BEING the guilt. The sense of 'self' that I had AS the guilty self had transferred more to my true self and I had accepted is at truth. So then when this person came along and said the same things.... ...... ..... nothing happened. No reaction. No feeling that it was even about me. No feeling that it was true. No reaction of guilt. No sense that it could even touch 'me' or do anything to cause me to be upset. Same person, same actions, same statements, no reaction.
So when someone does something to you, or something happens you don't like, it 'triggers' off or shakes up or brings into your awareness an experience of "this makes me feel bad"... in whatever form - generally guilt and shame. And this guilt and shame itself, somehow, by some strange psychological twist, seems like it is associated with YOU, who you are. And so you feel like YOU are this guilty self. You are the guilt. And it comes up inside you and you feel it. And then you're initially like, what the fuck, why did this person just "make me guilty" or "make me afraid". So you blame them for 'causing' this experience to occur, but without noticing that they didn't actually do anything to PUT this experience into you - it was already in you. The guilt-ridden scared self was already in you because you thought that was true about you and was your actual identity.
So all that's happening is your own stuff is coming up into awareness and you're experiencing it and you don't like it so you keep blaming it on someone else. You're particularly annoyed that they keep 'pointing out your flaws' or keep bringing your attention to how guilty you feel. And each time they seem to 'victimize' you it triggers this guilt in you and you feel it and you think that they're doing it to you. They're not. They can't. Only you can experience this guilt as if its what you are. And if you can heal that guilt and stop believing it and stop identifying with it and stop thinking it is true of YOU and that, therefore, it is who you ARE, then you can be free of this guilt. This guilty content. Person comes along and does the same exact action and .... there is no guilt in you to experience... nothing for it to latch onto.... nothing to trigger.... nothing to remind you of how YOU feel about YOURSELF.
This is how you find peace. Undo your guilty ego self and remember who you are in truth and you become invulnerable.
A miracle, is actually a THING. It's discreet thing. Like a ball of energy, if you will, expressing from you and causing something to happen.
"Miracles are a spark of life."
"Miracles are energizers".
"Miracle impulses".
"Miracles are thought creations."
There is actually a SOMETHING that arises out of the christ mind and expresses and transfers from the giver, TO the receiver.
A pulse of electricity.
A ball of fire.
A spark of presence.
The Holy Spirit.
Whatever you want to call it. A miracle begins with an impulse and then something happens. Something comes OUT of the mind, EXPRESSEs, and applies TO something.
It's NOT just a matter of your holiness sitting there "shining" and rubbing off side effects.
Jesus also refers to them as a POWER SURGE.
"It is hard to recognize that thought and belief combine into a power-surge that can literally move mountains."
If that power surge were CONSTANT you wouldn't be able to switch the dam thing off. And we are told that "the number of them you can perform is unlimited", meaning you are not ALWAYS performing miracles, you DO IT and then you stop. And then you do it again. It's an ACTION. A DOING.
This is something IN ADDITION TO a STATE of right mindedness or miracle mindedness. The STATE of miracle mindedness is NOT the same thing as multiple unlimited miracles which are PERFORMED.
What many people describe as miraculous is MERELY the state of miracle mindedness. In that state, you are READY, WILLING, and ABLE to perform miracles. But this is entirely distinct from miracle WORKING or DOING.
"it is a state of miracle-READINESS."
"Readiness here means keep your perception right side up, (or valid), so you will ALWAYS be ready, willing, and able. These are the essentials for "listen, learn, and do." You must be:
READY to listen
WILLING to learn
and ABLE to do."
"The distinction has also been made here between "miracle-mindedness" as a STATE, and "miracle-doing" as its expression."
Many people completely IGNORE "miracle doing" in ACIM and focus entirely on "miracle mindedness", because they think they are supposed to change their STATE of mind and get TO a state of true perception/miracle mindedness and then they're done. This completely IGNORES EXPRESSION of miracles FROM the state of miracle mindedness.
There is an EXPRESSION FROM the state of miracle mindedness. An expression. Like when you DECIDE TO TALK. Something expresses, temporarily. Something is generated. A thought creation happens and GIVES LIFE to something. Something goes out, a spark, a power, a force.
It's not the same thing as the miracle mind sitting there just doing what it does all the time. It is a distinct, momentary, separate DOING, EXPRESSION, a decision to PERFORM, to DO something, for a specific person, at a specific time and place.
And this EXPRESSION emits a POWER SURGE which is a SPARK OF LIFE, which proceeds out of your mind into the mind of another and heals it, with the consequence being the body is also healed.
This is what miracle WORKING means. You DO something. Something happens out of the ordinary. It is NOT the same thing as being miracle minded or right minded or christ minded or any other kind of STATE of mind. It's an EXPRESSION of a POWER which has causal effects.
"Thus is the body healed by miracles."
"Members of my party are ACTIVE workers."
"Miracles are a form of healing. They supply a lack, and are performed by those who have more for those who have less."
"The eyes of Christ deliver them to all they look upon in mercy and in love."
"Miracles fall like drops of healing rain from Heaven on a dry and dusty world, where starved and thirsty creatures came to die. Now they have water. Now the world is green. And everywhere the signs of life spring up, to show that what is born can never die, for what has life has immortality."
"Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love."
(an expression, is not a state).
"Miracles arise from a miraculous state of mind"
They ARISE FROM, a STATE of miracle mindedness. They are EXPRESSIONS! Something comes OUT of the state of mind and causes something to happen!
One of the ways the ego deceives you is to make it seem like you are not yourself. It wants to suggest that something has changed about you, since God created you whole, and that you are now missing something.
The only way it can make it seem like you are missing something is to HIDE it or conceal it. It's not actually capable of getting rid of your real self, because God made you PERMANENT. There is no real way the ego can stop you from existing or take away your reality.
The ONLY trick the ego has is to pretend that there is something about you that is missing, by trying to BLOCK YOUR AWARENESS from being aware that it exists. It does this by applying distortions to your perception which seem to make it hard to SEE what is really right in front of you and obvious.
These blocks to the AWARENESS of God's presence are the only problem. They need to be removed, in order for you to become AWARE again that you DO still have everything that God gave you, you ARE still immortal, you HAVE NOT been changed and NOTHING is missing.
So what the ego does, is it covers you up a little bit, maybe with a lie or a deception or some darkness or a temptation or some other mechanism of illusion. It makes an illusion that makes it seem like something's gone wrong, something's happening, there's been a loss, or an emptiness, or a hole has been made in the Son of God, or something's been taken away, or whatever.
So this ego PRANKSTER tries to TRICK you into believing that it's actually TRUE that something about you is missing. It tries to get you to believe that it's true you've lost your love, or your power, or your strength, or your sanity, or your connection to God, or your peace, or your identity, or whatever. As soon as you believe it's lie and fall for its trick, you are now in a state of confusion.
Confused, and convinced that you actually HAVE lost some part of yourself, and that this part of yourself IS NOT where it should be - ie within you - where God placed it - what do you do now? Perceiving a lack, you feel a need, and that need automatically asks to be fulfilled because it's a magnetic belief in 'not having' which draws itself in the direction of 'getting' - ie re-acquiring.
So now you go off, distracted, looking everywhere you can possibly look, EXCEPT for where this missing thing IS, which is in you, because its' not really missing AT ALL it's just being covered up, and what results will you encounter? You'll look high and low and everywhere in-between, everywhere EXCEPT underneath the blanket that hides it. And it won't be there. And you will not find it, because it's not anywhere that you're looking.
This is how the ego has you "seek and do not find".
It's also how the ego has you "seek for salvation" (a solution to the problem of something having gone wrong), outside of yourself, in places where you will never find it, even though you have this big HOPE of finding it there. The ego would want you to keep DOING stuff to trying to REPLACE what you think you lost, even though it's not reall lost. And all this doing will entail 'trying' really hard to accomplish what you ultimately cannot accomplish. And the more effort you put into 'finding' what you think you do not have, the less it will work and the more frustrated you'll be.
So all you need really to do is to LOOK AT the ego's smokescreen, QUESTION the ego's bullshit deception that says you are lacking something, figure out that what it says you're lacking is just HIDDEN, look at what is hiding it and how it is functioning, STOP DOING IT - ie UN-DO the action of hiding it, and lo and behold.. abracadabra.... IT IS REVEALED TO YOU!
Eureka! You found it. It is already in you. It always was. It was never lost. It wasn't removed. It wasn't really damaged. Nothing really happened to it. This LOVE that you are, is still perfectly intact, perfectly whole, perfectly at peace, perfectly happy, perfectly powerful and immortal and innocent. It has never changed. And so as you remove this BLOCK to awareness, instead of trying to REPLACE what the block says is missing, you simply uncover the truth of what is, what always was and what always will be.
There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing lacking in you. There is nothing missing from you. You have not been hurt. You have not been damaged. You have not sinned. You are not guilty. AAAAAAALL this other stuff that says otherwise is just a COVER for your immaculate divine innocence and invulnerability. And all your worries about all this other bullshit is all because you think it's telling you the truth. None of it is true. The only truth is that you are STILL as God created you, even if you've been hiding it underneath layer upon layer of illusions.
It's going to be a wonderful day when you finally realize that you are still as God created you and nothing has happened.
Usually we want to get rid of everything we do not like, everything that feels harmful, every fear, every upset, every ounce of grief or loss. We want to get rid of all our enemies and things that hurt.
But this is actually the ego in action. It wants to get rid of these things because there is a potential that these things might be used to wake you up.
So long as you're in the midst of a lesson, in which something seems to be against your will, you will have this sense of "I don't want this and it shouldn't be happening". This is the ego's reaction. It does not want you to use this opportunity for forgiveness. It does not want you to learn the lesson.
Not that the ego is arbitrarily against you. You made it and you asked it to do this for you. You wanted it to deflect you away from sources of healing, from anything that might trigger an awakening to truth. You wanted it to keep telling you that stuff isn't supposed to happen to you, and you wanted it to make you see things as if they are happening against your will. That way you could stay asleep.
But each time you try to 'get rid of' what you do not like, or be free of a lesson, or fix a problem, or make a bad person go away, or stop something from happening, you're really using ego denial. And you do this in the name of spirituality.
You think it is spiritual to have a life where there are no problems, where nothing is happening to you, where you have no enemies, where everything goes well, where people seem to just adore you, and where you aren't hurt or offended by anyone. I mean, as a goal that's great... That could be true of real spirituality, but the ego wants this goal WITHOUT awakening.
So that means, getting rid of all protagonists, all offenders, all enemies, and all threats. It tells you you shouldn't be afraid and that fear is a bad thing. It tells you not to be guilty. It even tells you you should be constantly happly or people-pleasing. These are all deceptive ways the ego gets you to NOT deal with your shit, and it forms a spiritualized ego.
When you are afraid, that's very good, because you are being confronted with the results of some belief that you have and it's coming into your awareness. This is a great opportunity. Instead of the fear hiding out in the back of your mind, it's being brought into awareness. You don't like it, for sure, but recognize it is an opportunity because now some normally hidden dark shit has come out into the open where you can take a look at it.
It's all about how you use things - whether you use it to deny your shit or use it to bring light to your shit and undo it. So you could take the fact you're scared as a great opportunity to look at WHY you are scared, rather than to just want the fear to go away. It's pretty normal to want the fear to go away, but it's not healthy. It is healthier to take a look at it with Holy Spirit and find out why you are afraid... What guilt is the fear based on? What's the deeper cause of it? Why do you want it? How's it serving you to keep you in the dark? Where is the so-called truth that surrounds the fear to make it seem justified? What is the real truth of this situation?
Its the same with feeling guilty, upset, angry, offended, whatever... Each time this stuff comes to your awareness it's a great opportunity to heal and undo. So don't try to hide this stuff away. Don't shove it back down or want to get rid of it or to avoid it. And don't blame people for triggering it off - they're trying to help you to look at the stuff you don't want to look at. You're better off dealing with it and then being done with it, rather than constantly hiding from it and feeling its torment in the back of your mind, only to keep resurfacing saying "please acknowledge me and recognize my message to help you grow, and please use me for awakening."
This is all great material. Great opportunities to make progress. It's hard work but it's worth it, and it's far better for you than to want to just keep making this stuff go away. You can be free of it permanently if you deal with it properly and heal it. Isn't that better?
Complaining is victimhood. And it doesn't work.
Anything that happens, you choose. If you are conscious, you make a conscious choice, with deliberate intent to produce an effect. You cause it, implement it, make it happen and put it in place, because you want to.
"God's teachers choose ... It is a conscious choice.For they have learned that all choices are made consciously, with full awareness of their consequences."
Having done so, you now have produced effects, circumstances and results. Since you know that you put these things there, on purpose, and that you had the power to do so, you would also know that if you so chose, you could abolish these effects just as easily by changing your mind.
"You made sickness and death and therefore can abolish both."
But when you cause something unconsciously or you cause it and then use denial to pretend you didn't cause it, you set yourself up for the basis of victimhood. It now seems that cause must have come from someone or somewhere else. If that's true, and if you didn't seem to have the power to put this situation in place yourself, then it seems to be up to someone else to change their mind and cause the situation to change.
This then leads to the perfect foundation for complaining. In complaint, you now assert that you do not want the effects you ended up with, BUT, you're not willing to admit that you caused them OR that you have the power to change them. You believe someone else had that power. So you now try to manipulate the surrounding environment and its contributors by making a lot of 'noise' about why you don't want the results that have appeared, and why someone else needs to be stepping up to make the changes.
So complaining is victimhood. It's a state where in truth, you WANT the situation to be the way it is, having chosen it, but you are claiming that you don't want it. And it's where you have no actual intention of changing your OWN mind, or causing the situation to change. So the ego is then making a lot of noise about why the situation sucks, is unwanted, isn't agreeable, should be different etc, while unconsciously continuing to choose it, cause it, make it and put it in place. All the while trying to suggest that someone else needs to take some action.
You DO have the freedom and the ability to correct the situation. It is the lack of OWNERSHIP of the causing of the situation, and the perception of yourself has having NO POWER OVER IT, that is the problem. You CAN change any situation. You can heal anything. You are free.
"The Holy Spirit will undo the consequences of my wrong decision if I will let him."
"You who perceive yourself as weak and frail, born but to die, to weep and suffer pain, hear this: All power is given unto you in Earth and Heaven. There is nothing you cannot do."
"The power of decision is our own. Decide but to accept your rightful place as co-creator of the universe, and all you think you made will disappear."
"This holy relationship has the power to heal all pain, regardless of its form."
"Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No-one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are."
"As God created you, you have all power."
"The will you share with God has all the power of creation in it."
"By teaching the power of the Kingdom of God Himself, He teaches you that ALL POWER IS YOURS."
"For you have ASKED it be withheld from power to heal all dreams. There is no miracle you cannot have when you DESIRE healing."
"For you HAVE power to save the Son of God because his Father willed that it be so."
"The power of decision is your one remaining freedom as a prisoner of this world."
"he HAS the power to heal and bless all those he looks on"
"The miracle ITSELF is but the witness that you HAVE the power of God in you."
"The power of the Sons of God is operating all the time, because they were created as creators."
"It is you who have the power to dominate all things you see."
"No one can grieve, nor fear, nor think him sick, unless these are the outcomes that he wants. And no one dies without his own consent. Nothing occurs but represents your wish and nothing is omitted that you choose. "
"There is nothing my holiness cannot do."
"There is a place in you where nothing is impossible. "
All of the problems in the world, every sickness, every war, every argument, every lack and death, all separations, all special relationships, are all symptoms of the absence of God and nothing else.
Here's how Jesus puts it:
"A sense of separation from God is the only lack you really need correct. This sense of separation would never have arisen if you had not distorted your perception of truth, and had thus perceived yourself as lacking.
The idea of order of needs arose because, having made this fundamental error, you had already fragmented yourself into levels with different needs. As you integrate you become one, and your needs become one accordingly. Unified needs lead to unified action, because this produces a lack of conflict."
Now, this is a huge thing to get your mind around but essentially, it means that being with God solves everything. It also means that the ENTIRE CONTENT of this universe is coming from a single idea of not being with God, and without that idea this entire universe would disappear.
It informs us also about how to pray. When we pray and we go to God with all kinds of problems and questions, what we're really doing is asking for these things to be solved or go away. But we often ask God, hey, fix this shit for me. But there's an unspoken premise - that God will fix the issues and then we'll remain separate from God, enjoying a better separation. That's absolutely impossible. The only solution to ANYTHING is becoming closer to God.
All suffering, every conflict, all sickness, all unhappiness, every broken relationship, all problems, all sense of lack, every death, it is all what LACK OF GOD looks like. When there is not a lack of God, these things CANNOT EXIST.
We had NO NEEDS when we were with God. There was no world. There was no "life and death". There were no problems. No lack. No sickness. Everything was perfect. So when any of these things are showing up, there IS a belief in being separate from God. These things CANNOT show up unless there is such a belief, because these things are merely the FORM of the illusion of God's absence.
War is MADE OF "God is not here". Sickness is MADE OF "I am guilty and separate". Death is made of "Sin is real". Broken cars are made of "I am limited". Cancellation of your favorite TV show is made of "God hates me". I'm not kidding. There is NOTHING in this entire world that can exist unless there is some degree of a belief in God being absent.
So what happens when God IS PRESENT? What happens when we simply return to awareness of God's presence and allow and accept and receive it? What happens to all this STUFF which is completely meaningless which showed up only after the separation? It simply DISAPPEARS. It must disappear because light shines away darkness and all of this shit is just the form of darkness. When God is present, death is impossible. When God is present, there can be no suffering or lack or tears.
So you think, well, there are many many separate problems. There are not. There is only one problem. It encompasses THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE and everything in it. Every collision of every particle, every planet blowing up, ever sun being born, every murder, every success story, every sunset, every fire hydrant, it's all part of the "I'm not with God" experience.
So when you go to God to pray, if you're putting all this shit on the table and asking for it to be fixed but you're not asking for the NEED for it existing to be undone, or for God's presence to increase, or for you to be One with God, then you're not asking for a solution. You're asking to make shit real, to keep it, and to have God change it into an even more appealing illusion. The only true prayer is to commune with God and be one with Him, which SOLVES ALL PROBLEMS, makes all questions disappear, resolves all needs and lacks, heals all sickness, and reverses all death.
So you do not need to learn a whole bunch of techniques and strategies for coping with hell. You don't need to figure out how to get more. You don't need to figure out what caused certain problems. There is only one thing you need. It's God. And if you get God, you are done. All the rest, will be simply forgotten and disappeared like it never existed or mattered, because it doesn't. There is nothing to learn, only a whole bunch of crap to unlearn. All you need is love.