This is a big lesson for me and everyone: How to love all the time. It's natural, but our divine nature to always love and express love has been blocked by fear, attack thoughts, grievances, hatred etc.
When other people seem to be loving and we're "getting" something out of the relationship, ie specialness, we open up some of the flood gates and allow "exclusive love" to go towards the person.
But when the person fails to love you, is angry or upset with you or treats you poorly, there is great temptation then in the ego to simply use it as a way to prove that someone doesn't deserve your love. Then you form a grievance, hold onto attack thoughts, fail to heal, and stop being loving. In order to deny love to others, you have to block it, which denies it to yourself! You cannot love and hate at the same time!
This turns then into conditional love, which simply means you will only love others when they are doing something that you want or being a certain way. Particularly when they are seeming to be loving toward you or giving you what you think you want or need or lack.
We have to actually wean ourselves off of conditional love in order to reach atonement. That means that we have to recognize that our "loving" or expressing must not be tied to external conditions of any kind, causes of any kind, or people of any kind. That means that we don't love in "reaction" or response to others, but we simply love because it's what we are and how we want to express. It's a decision.
"Teach only love for that is what you are" says it all.
I've started to see glimpses of this. To refuse to be unloving even in a situation which seems it would warrant defenses or reactions. To simply choose... I'm only going to love right now. And to then love, to radiate love, to be love. Not because of the person, not as a defense, not as a reaction, nothing to do with the ego at all.
Then you find out that your willingness to love is not *dependent* on other people or the state they are in. And at first this seems crazy, that you would choose to love in spite of appearances or situations that seem to "call for" some other response. This expressing of love OVERRIDES the ego's laws in the situation, ignores the hierarchy of illusions, forgets/forgives grievances and has unexpected benefits to yourself.
In a situation, I decided I am only going to love. So I stood there and loved. I felt love in my heart area radiating out. I didn't know I was able to radiate this love. As I did this, the other person was not happy at all. My deciding to love was not in response to their ego. And so it seemed to me there wasn't really a "reason" to love, other than that... it sure felt good. Certainly better than entering into false empathy.
The really interesting thing is, if I choose to love, to extend love, the love expresses, like it goes out and radiates and "sends" love. In this sending, something really intriguing happens. I share in the love, I feel the love, and I become more sane. Love is the "natural nature" of a sane mind. It quickly corrects mistaken perception. It's like the sun comes out and the light is shining and everything is put into its proper place.
I also notice when I choose to love, just spontaneously, not as an ego reaction - to will to love - the extending of that love allows me to receive it. *I* feel loved. By giving love, love comes to me and through me. I was waiting a long time for a certain person to be more loving, and it wasn't until I decided to just love them that *I* experienced the love that I thought THEY were supposed to be providing.
This goes back to the very basic lesson (seek and do not find) that when we believe that we are lacking love, we will shift responsibility for love onto someone else and expect them to do the loving for us. Then they either will or will not, and when they will not, we stay in a lack of love. So we have to learn the difficult lesson, that we cannot get other people to love us and we are not SUPPOSED to. You can and will only experience the receiving of love, truly, when YOU LOVE.
When YOU choose to love, you instantly enter into love's extension and expression, you feel the love, you become part of the love. "To have all, give all to all." This is a basic law of God, that in order to have something you have to give it. If you are not having something, it's because you are not giving it.
If you do not have love and others don't seem to be filling the void for you, it's because you are not loving enough. And when you love enough, you don't NEED anyone to love you FOR you, because YOU are joining in unconditional love and extending God's love. Love comes through you, and you experience it.
It boils down to this simple state, which I presume is what it will be like in Atonement, where you simply love all the time. You express love all the time. You radiate it, flow it, extend it. It comes out through you from God and from your soul. And as it goes out, it has miraculous power. And this loving power actually has something to do with healing and miracle working.
Love has this property that, unless it is given or shared, it does not exist. Love isn't a "state" that's static. God isn't static. God is an extender and creator. "Love goes out because of what it is." "Divine abstraction takes joy in application."
Love HAS to be shared. "God did not will to be alone." When it is not being radiated and shared and GIVEN, it does not have any radiance, and does not shine, and has no presence. That means it is dead. Death is the denial of extension of love, which is also life.
So in order to be alive, to be in resurrection, to reach atonement, and to be happy, we have to remove these blocks to love SO THAT we can once again resume our NATURE of always extending, always loving, no matter what, no matter who, no matter what time or the reason. That means that you being loving really has NOTHING to do with anyone else. You just be loving because you ARE love. You can't help it. "Teach only love for that is what you are".
So that means being willing to love and extend love in ALL SITUATIONS regardless of the situation, or who it is, or how upset they are. And the reason you love really has nothing to do with the other person. You simply do it because it's natural, healthy, you are willing to, and it feels great.
I thought I was forgiving someone because I was doing forgiveness processes about them. But... I didn't really get to a point where I was LOVING them. THAT is the healed state that is the goal to reach with forgiveness. If I am not loving the person, literally, the I must still have some kind of grievance or block to love, therefore am not receiving it, because I am not extending it. And feeling "unloving" unfortunately automatically means you will also feel "unloved".
Love comes from within, and it extends outward to others. It radiates naturally when it is not obstructed. It also contains willingness because unwillingness is unnatural and everyone naturally wants to share love to increase their joy. "God, who encompasses all being, nevertheless created separate beings who have everything individually (love) and want to share it to increase their joy."
That means if you want to feel the love, you have to BE the love. You have to give the love. And that doesn't mean special love, or sacrifice, or loss. It doesn't mean subservience or reaction or slavery or being carpeting. It means you love because YOU WANT TO, IN SPITE OF anyone else. And then you naturally bring that love to others simply because it serves BOTH of you. That is the golden rule. What applies to you applies to them.
Love first. Being loved is secondary and automatic. Trying to be loved first blocks being loved.
This means then we have to learn to decouple or disconnect "whether we will love" or "when we will love" from anything that other people are doing. Even if other people are stressing out and upset and angry or whatever. We have to decide, I, by myself, with God, am going to love right now, regardless of anyone else, even if that someone else is someone close to you.
And that means you have to claim the responsibility, freedom, joy and pleasure of LOVING for YOURSELF, which is the same thing as accepting atonement for yourself. It's your right to love and experience love. It's your inheritance.
"For sickness is the witness to his guilt, and death would prove his errors MUST be sins."
Here's the thing about why the body HAS to be healed.
It's simply a matter of cause and effect. The mind is the cause of the body. "The mind makes this decision as it makes every decision responsible for the condition of the body." The mind PROJECTS the body. At all times. Think of the body as like an image which is being projected by a movie projector. It's nothing but a 3D image. And it has no power to determine its own condition. It can only be what the projector projects it to look like.
So now imagine that your mind decides to attack your brother. By doing so, and in order to do so, it projects an image of a body which exhibits signs of attack, in one way or another. And thus the image itself now depicts the attack, by showing up as having damage, deformity, malfunction, sickness, symptoms, death etc. The body is used as a weapon to demonstrate the attack thought. And because the mind is ALWAYS the cause of the body, with the body as its effect, this IMAGE can only persist in the world so long as the mind is CAUSING it. There cannot be effects without causes.
The mind is responsible for the body showing up as sick or damaged. So long as the body therefore is showing up as sick or damaged, the mind that is projecting the body IS responsible for CAUSING it to show up as sick and damaged, which means the mind IS STILL USING IT FOR ATTACK. And so long as this image is being projected into the world of an attacked/attacking body, it PROVES... beyond all doubt.... that the mind HAS NOT BEEN HEALED. Because so long as there is an effect sitting there in a damaged state for everyone to witness, it proves THERE WAS A SIN. And it also proves the sin is still ONGOING.
The mind is having to constantly "hold" the body in a state of suffering in order to KEEP SHOWING a picture of crucifixion to your brother, which is how you attempt to accuse him of putting the effects into the body. Your body being sick shows him what HE DID TO YOU, because you can only have this attacking attitude when you perceive your brother is the CAUSE of you, which is what produces effects of sickness due to level confusion. So long as your body is sick in any way, YOUR MIND DEFINITELY IS STILL ATTACKING. And so long as the body remains in that sick state, it not only proves sin is real and attack has and is happening, it also proves the mind is not healed.
"A damaged body is PROOF the mind has not been healed."
There is NO ESCAPING THIS LAW. Your body is YOUR responsibility. If it is sick, you are making it sick. If it shows up as suffering, you are constantly maintaining the suffering. If it shows signs of damage, you are constantly putting the damage there, as the movie projector. If it seems attacked or has symptoms, YOU WANT THEM TO BE KEPT. This is all basic cause and effect. Your body as an effect of your mind CANNOT HAVE EFFECTS WITHOUT YOU CAUSING THEM. And so if the body IS still showing up as sick, YOU ARE CAUSING IT. Which means you are still attacking yourself and your brother!
You cannot simply think you have made a mess of the body and that the body now is in a state of sickness and it will just stay in that state of sickness "by itself". It does not stay sick or well by itself. It is just an image you project. YOU determine EVERYTHING ABOUT IT at all times. EVEN when it is dead. And so this means that so long as there is still evidence and PROOF in the dream, that sin has occurred or is occurring, CAUSING there to be effects of suffering in the body, THE SIN HAS NOT BEEN UNDONE.
This is a vital fact to realize. So long as the EFFECTS are remaining, THE SIN IS STILL HAPPENING. The causality is still happening.
And this means that quite literally, if you are going to have a mind that is healed and is free of sickness, YOU CANNOT keep maintaining sickness in the body. You cannot keep putting sickness into it, or projecting sickness, or showing sickness to anyone in any way. The ONLY way you can do so is to STILL BE SICK mentally. If there are effects, there is a cause. YOU are the cause. If the body does not "get healed" or rather, if the mind does not heal and thus CAUSE a projection of a body IMAGE which shows up as free from suffering, then your mind IS NOT healed.
So long as there is proof, evidence, demonstration, witness, testimony, or attesting of attack and sickness WITH AND IN AND THROUGH the body, YOUR MIND IS STILL ATTACKING YOUR BROTHER. The only way for you to stop attacking your brother, therefore, in this world, is to PROVE that you are no longer attacking by REMOVING THE EFFECTS, ceasing the demonstration of death, UNDOING the sickness, cancelling the symptoms, reversing the suffering and DEMONSTRATING a body which is completely free of sickness and pain. UNTIL YOU DO THAT, YOUR MIND IS NOT HEALED. Because if that body is STILL showing up with sickness, YOU DID NOT HEAL IT, because you do not WANT to heal it, because you are STILL attacking.
"Damaged bodies are accusers". They testify that your brother is a guilty fucker and has sinned against you. It is your PROOF of his sin. And you hold this proof in front of his eyes for all to see to PROVE that he HAS DONE THIS TO YOU, and to demonstrate his sinfulness and testify against him. You cannot be doing that if you are going to be a teacher of God, a healer, or an extender of love.
When the mind is truly healed, it will testify to its healing by expressing MIRACLES OF HEALING to the body which result in the body being projected AS HEALED, free of sickness and pain and suffering and damage of all kinds. PHYSICALLY. "A guiltless mind cannot suffer. The mind, BEING SANE, HEALS THE BODY." "A sick body makes no sense."
This is the teaching of A Course in Miracles. It is basic cause and effect. If the effects are still there, SO IS THE CAUSE. Until the effects are REMOVED, literally, the cause MUST still be happening. You do not merely make decisions at one moment in time and then keep the consequences. Decisions are CONSTANT BELIEFS. Until the belief is corrected and undone and ITS CONSEQUENCES ARE REMOVED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT THROUGH MIRACLES, the mind is not healed.
And that does literally mean that, if the body is sick, it PROVES the mind is sick. If the body is healed, IT PROVES the mind is healed. There is no exception to this. No escape from it. No loopholes. Mind causes the body. You are responsible for the state of your body as much as your state of mind. This is why "Only the mind and body need atonement."
The body IS a symbol in a dream, a teaching device, a device for communication, and what you use it for IT BECOMES. Use it for attack and it is attacked and shows up as sick. And it will STAY in that state as long as it is being USED for attack. And when the body is used to extend love and healing, the body will be HEALED, and it will show up as healed so long as it is used for healing. This is all in A Course in Miracles. This is not some magical fairytale bullshit that I made up myself.
This is also why you must "swear not to die". If you produce a dead body, it is because you have ATTACKED SEVERELY. And the body is PROVING that your mind is an attacker. If you do not attack, the body CANNOT BE SICK, NOR CAN IT DIE, because YOUR MIND IS CHOOSING that it only depict healing and health and harmlessness. This is why the body CANNOT DIE unless YOU CHOOSE to make it dead. And if you choose to make it dead, you are not doing God's will and are PROVING your mind is not healed.
"A dream of death is not left by death but by truth."
This is one of the more radical teachings in the course which is hotly defended against by many people. Not only the idea that you have to heal the body in order to demonstrate the Holy Spirit's purposes, but also that you MUST NOT MAKE DEATH HAPPEN otherwise you are failing the curriculum. No-one in his right mind would attack himself and his brother so severely as to SHOW a picture of total DEATH to another person in order to PROVE THEY ARE SINNERS. That is what dead does and is. It is a testifying that your brother is the cause of you and sinned and made you dead. Every death is an accusation of sin. YOU MUST NOT DIE. You must demonstrate only symbols of life and immortality.
If you are afraid about something, stop for a moment and realize that you are actually scaring yourself.
In between you and the person or situation, there is a mental image in YOUR mind which YOU have shown to yourself.
Initially you think that the person or situation is causing the fear you're experiencing. You think that the "fearful thing" is inside that person or situation, or coming from them. Like they're causing it.
It's not true at all. They are not doing anything to you!
Somewhere along the lines, YOU came to BELIEVE IN FEAR, and YOU put in your awareness a mental image of something scary, and now you're experiencing that visualization simultaneously, projected on top of the people or situations outside of you.
The fear is really you scaring yourself, because YOU believe in and are imagining, visualizing, a scary situation.
When scared you will try to fight with external people or situations as though if you fend them off enough they'll stop scaring you. But notice instead, no matter how much you try to "un-scare" yourself it won't generally work, because YOU are actually still believing in the fear. YOU are still generating the fearful image in your own mind. It's coming from YOU. Changing the person or situation will not undo what YOU are doing to yourself!
You have to realize you're literally doing this to yourself. You are generating this mental image, really just an idea, and are producing fear internally. You're nuts for believing that anyone else is causing it.
Until you can see that it literally is coming from you and has nothing to do with what's out there, and you decide to STOP BELIEVING IN whatever scary thing you were believing in, it will remain.
It's only because you believe in "real attackers" that you are scared. It's only because you believe in "real sin" or "real guilt" or "someone's really going to come and punish or hurt me" that you feel scared. It's not because they ARE, and it's not because they're even involved AT ALL.
It's purely your own belief. You are choosing to perceive fearfully and your fearful perceiving is putting a fearful vision in your mind and you're experiencing it like it's real because YOU are making it REAL.
Seeing this, you see the pointlessness of believing that someone else is actually the cause. Owning up to being the cause, you can finally see that you yourself are scaring yourself, you are the ONLY SOURCE of this fear, and therefore you can simply choose to stop believing in it. Stop believing that you need to be afraid of something "out there". YOU are the one terrorizing yourself.
It also frees you from the MYTH that you have reasons to be afraid that are beyond your control, ie that other people ALSO have the power to "cause you" to be afraid. They don't. There is no power over you other than your own, and there are no causes outside of you at all. So if you'll stop attacking yourself with fear, there won't be ANY other sources of it.
If you can then choose to stop having this belief, upon recognizing that you were the one making the fear, the fear will disappear. Illusions recognized as illusions must disappear. The fear will vanish and you will be restored to safety and confidence.
Your assertiveness will assert that there IS NOT a reason to be afraid, choosing that this is the truth, rather than WAITING for some other person or situation to stop "making you afraid".
I fall for this trap often. It's the basic ego trap of believing fear is reality. It can take a while to admit to myself that I'm the cause of this fear and to see that it is literally coming from my own believing and my own choosing. But then once I see it, I can realize the folly of my own self-attack and simply choose to no longer do this to myself.
Who can scare you if the only one scaring you EVER is yourself, and you decide not to?
There are a number of words Jesus uses in a very different way to how we use them. He literally redefines and teaches us a new meaning of these words. This is because we've taught ourselves incorrectly what something IS, and have mis-identified things. In ACIM His use of terms gives them a whole different meaning.
Some examples:
Life. You think it means bodies that "are alive". He means, that which has eternal life in Heaven and extends forever, which never perishes and cannot die.
Death. You think it means death of the body. He means, anything even slightly less than 100% perfect life. Even a slight grievance. Even a slight sickness. The entire dream world and everything in it.
Murder. You think it means some person in the extreme attacking another. It really means the dynamic of a separation between cause and effect in which you perceive something applies to you that doesn't apply to someone else, allowing you to escape the consequences of what you cause. The entire ego thought system is murderous. "What is not love (100% love) is murder."
Insanity. Any state of mind which is not total wholeness and holiness. A split mind. A mind which believes illusions are real. A mind which sees itself as separated from its creator. All states of dreaming. Happy dreams, unhappy dreams. All states of perception. Seeing yourself as a body. Believing in death.
Sickness. You think it means just body sickness like having a disease. Jesus means a sick mind which produces a sick body, all states of mental unhealth, death, forms of physical sickness, illness, fear, unforgiveness, guilt, body-identification, belief in sin, level confusion, magic, etc.
Fear. You think it's some feeling you have when you are scared and that the rest of the time you are not afraid. Jesus says the entire world is made of fear which is the opposite of love, all states of sickness including death are fear of awakening, and fear includes every state of the ego thought system.
Sin. You think it means something you did. Jesus redefines it as something you think you did which you didn't do in reality. Sin is the authority problem. It's reversal of cause and effect, opposing God's will, which has produced an entire world of sin and death. "Without the idea of death there is no world." In sin, the death wish is formed, making death inevitable, unless you undo sin.
Love. You think of special love, an emotion of love, private love, exclusive love. Parental love. Small amounts of love. Jesus says all expression of real love are maximal - maximum total unconditional whole-minded full-hearted unlimited universe-sized love.
Forgiveness. You think it means pardon. Or you think it is a process. Jesus states it is a constant state of mind in which you recognize there is nothing left to forgive because you have not condemned yourself. All forgiveness is self forgiveness, yet you are one with others. Forgiveness is the atonement.
Ego. You think ego is just some little bit of egotism or selfishness. Jesus redefines ego as the separation idea and an entire thought system which has manifested as a physical universe, complete with dream bodies and war and death.
Perception. You think perception is you being inside your body peering out through your eyes seeing stuff in a certain way. Yet Jesus says the world is perception, physical objects are mental images, the whole world is your perception within your universe-sized mind, and it's not so much to do with how you see something that's out there. Perception is a result, not a cause. Projection makes what you see.
There's many more things which we do not recognize as being what they are. And so it may be easy to mis-read what Jesus means by certain words. We have to unlearn all of our previous definitions for things and broaden the scope of them. Jesus is accurate and truthful in HIS understanding of what things ARE, he knows what is fear and what is death and what is life, in the most accurate of ways. Our definitions are limited and basic and incorrect. Dictionary definitions are also flawed. This is part of what makes learning ACIM challenging, he's using familiar words in unfamiliar ways.
You know sometimes when you're doing something on a computer and there's a progress bar, and sometimes there are actually two progress bars - overall progress and the progress of one of many smaller tasks? Well I think it's kind of like that with forgiveness too.
There is an overall progress which slowly evolves along similar steps to how each individual forgiveness progresses, but it goes a lot slower. This means that in general, you will start out really strongly believing that forgiveness has something to do with other people, that it's their fault, that you have to forgive them in some way.
Then gradually you will pull away from that and start to realize that it's not really about other people, it's about you. Each time something happens, over time you are a little less convinced that you're starting out with someone else being the problem. So you sort of start a little further along the process.
Each time you do a small forgiveness, each time you tackle some individual issue, and you take it all the way to it being forgiven, you are sort of practicing. You wear away at the rock of sin. And then you do another one, and another one.
What I've seen is that as a result of all these practices, all these forgiveness of individual events and people and situations, in the big long-term picture my mind seems to be gradually moving its 'starting position' away from others and more toward myself.
Instead of falling for some of the more obvious ego traps that convince and tempt me to believe that it's all someone else's fault, there's been a progression where I at least don't fall for those basic starting illusions as easily. I start my forgivenesses a bit further along the process.
Lately I've been encroaching more closely on the idea that forgiveness has nothing at all to do with other people. Instead I'm seeing that there is stuff going on in my own mind, a conflict between two parts of my own split mind, and that I play both the role of victim and victimizer. Whatever way I am using my mind to judge or attack others, I see that this is just my own mind content playing out, there's activity in my own mind about myself, and I'm doing this to myself. I am sort of learning that I can completely ignore any suggestion that this upset has anything to do with other people.
So I think gradually we erode this overall attitude of unforgiveness, we gradually chop down trees and the forest starts to clear. We keep winning little battles and gradually we're winning the war, so to speak. I am much quicker now to recognize that my issues have nothing to do with other people, and can quickly jump over the whole emotional drama tangle of "they are doing this to me", "I'm a victim of them", "I don't want this etc". I've had to take that illusion, that perceptual fault, so many times that I guess I've learned, overall, or have become able to generalize that learning, so that I just kind of 'know it' now.
I think this is really how things progress. I can well imagine that as time continues to unfold I will just keep having fewer reactions, less belief in victimhood, less fear, that I will fall for illusions less, that I will inevitably gradually be sustaining a certain level of 'awareness' and 'wakefulness' which acts as the starting point for any further corrections that are needed.
We wake up gradually. We make progress. And once we've done enough of the undoing of the grosser, more ego-extreme aspects of our mistaken perceptions, we will learn and won't be so easily fooled by them. Then it will come down to the subtler aspects of what's happening, what I'm doing to myself, how my mind is functioning, as we gradually 'home in' on revealing to our awareness what the simple truth really is about us.
And someday we'll realize, there is nothing left to forgive, and forgiveness isn't even needed, because now we are in a permanently forgiving attitude with Holy Spirit that shows us a forgiven world all the time. Ultimately there is nothing to forgive when you get to that point because you're seeing clearly, and really you were only ever forgiving your mistaken belief that there was something wrong that needed to be undone. Nothing has really happened. We're all doing fine. Congratulations on your progress.
I think one of the main reasons people seem to be homophobic, is just because we expect men to be men and women to be women. And if we ourselves are "straight" which largely means squarely or "purely" male or female and not a mix of the two, we project that onto everyone.
I think we become conditioned to think that there are only 100% males and 100% females. Then we project that onto people and expect them to comform to that.
When someone is more of a mix of gender traits, partly male, partly female, in whatever ways, it starts to fall outside of the standard "heteronormative" society model.
This is where a person starts to become offended, because whenever something seems to go outside of our beliefs, it registers to us as false. Whatever we believe or think is the acceptable standard is always regarded as true. When something seems opposite or doesn't fit with our truth, we judge it as false, and that also gets lumped in with negativity, evil, darkness, sin, guilt, perversion, rejection, etc. It's quite a basic mechanism.
So then if some man is partly female, but the model in the viewers mind is that they are supposed to be purely male, the person will seem to be violating the model. That will register as that they're not conforming to the norm, and are doing something they're not supposed to be doing. That registers as sin and violation and offence.
It's interesting that if a man is feminine and doing some things that a straight man would judge as wrong, but if you then ramped up the femininity of that man to the point where he turns into a complete woman, then the straight man suddenly would find no problem with them, because now they are conforming again to the model of strictly separate genders. So it's only the middle-ground where someone isn't entirely fitting into the strict model, that registers as an offence against the model.
This then leads to the viewer becoming offended, feeling violated, attacked, threatened, upset by the hideous creature they they see, which seems to be doing things and acting in ways that are not "normal" to them, or rather, not conforming to their model of what a man or woman is.
The problem really is that there is an expectation and a projection of the idea of what a man or women must be, and the ego especially likes to keep these extremely separated out. That you can be either one or the other, not both. "Not both" is the ego's standard function of "not God", because God's whole system of truth is based on both/and. The opposite of both/and is either/or, which the ego loves to uphold.
And indeed its sense of identity requires a strong contrast between exclusive opposites, in which the males try to keep the females outside of themselves so that they "know who they are" and have a firmer and clearer sense of identification with their gender. Or rather, so that their ego can stand out as being more separate and different, in order to have an identity, because the ego depends on opposition. And if you are not being "man enough" then you somehow are becoming too feminine and are stepping over the line.
If someone seems to fall outside of the projected model, it registers as false, evil, wrong, offensive, upsetting, an attack, violent against their very sense of identity. This does two things - it threatens the clarity of distinguishing who they are, in which they need to keep male and female separate in order to "exist", and secondly it seems to threaten the model of what a man or woman is.
This perceived violation is then interpreted as that the stranger is actually breaking rules, attacking their truth, going outside the bounds of what is acceptable into territory of "perversion", is seen as unnatural, vile and disgusting, can't be tolerated, and is seen as actually a direct attack upon the viewer and everything they stand for and are. Indeed if the person IS really purely a man AND then proceeds to act like a women, that would be register as an actual perversion.
Having perceived that the not-quite-straight person is threatening them and offending their ways, this then produces the perception of justified anger, because they feel actually literally under attack by the non-conforming person, as if that person will infect them, change them, influence them, invade their integrity, remind them of the fragility of their masculine identity, invade their boundaries, and do things to them which persons of a given gender are not supposed to be doing.
This can take on ridiculous forms such as fearing that the queer person will turn the kids gay just by living nearby, or radiate gay rainbow vibes into their minds, or have ultra evil sexual powers of lust after their treasured ones such that they'll be taken into a cult and subjected to satanic abuses, or that the queer person is simply am abomination against their God and breaking all the laws of heaven in a state of sin and madness.
So then they project hate and rejection onto the queer person, which they see as completely justified, because they've perceived that the queer person has attacked them first just by existing, and now this evil spectre must be destroyed in order to protect oneself. Which means the homophobia is seen as a justified and needed act of self-preservation based on fear. This is where the "phobia" part comes in, because the anger and abuse literally stems from a perceived fear, that something outside of what is acceptable is threatening to undermine their truth. Not just their truth, but their whole sense of identity and reality.
Because if a man can be partly not a man, and a woman can be partly not a woman, then that brings into question what is a man or woman, how are they defined, and how to distinguish a sense of self in the midsts of the seemingly "vague and muddy" mixture of gender and identity.
The ego would like things to be clear-cut, but the queer person is presenting a picture of something not so clear-cut, something which appears to be crossing over boundaries, "gender bending", breaking the ego rules of either-this-or-that, and corrupting the whole model of "man and woman produce male or female kids only." And now queerness is a boundary-violating attack upon families and marriage and religious institutions. And all this is is a concern for what happens when something transcends the rigid boxes that everyone wants to live in.
Really all of these reactions, which are just ego projections of a rigid model of identity, are only happening because the viewer lacks discernment and sees things in a very black-and-white exclusive and special way. They are not recognizing something, which is always the failing of the ego mindset. By not recognizing that the person is not JUST male or JUST female, and that people actually can be "not entirely one thing", there is no account made for people who seem to blend across the boundaries. And then "non-binary" is seen as the ultimate sin and rejection of all that is good and proper in the human race.
If they would open their minds from the closed-off either/or mindset of male/female strictness, which is closed-mindedness and a lack of spirituality, they would consider that some people (in body terms) are not purely male or purely famale, and that such people are completely acceptable and part of "nature".
If the viewer would then stop trying to force the person to be eieither man or woman, they wouldn't actually produce all the distorted reactions - which they do to themselves - that arise from trying to fit something into a box that it doesn't belong in. It's only because of the projecting of the "I know what a man is!" that a person requires someone else to conform to that.
There has to be an opening up to a greater repertoir of how many different types of human bodies there are, just as we have to open up to accept people from other countries and enthicities without judgement. And to then drop the expectation and conditioning that says you have to be one of only two things, and you must never be a mixture in any way. It's only those strict rules that give rise to a sense of the rules being violated, which then leads to the fear of invasion and the discomfort of being "pursued by a gay rapist", which then leads to the angry projections of guilt, which becomes homophobic abuse - all an attempt to maintain the ego.
If we could better recognize what people ARE, rather than what we think they SHOULD BE, we'll be better able to accomodate everyone and stop trying to force people to conform to a rigid tight little structure. The problem is really that egos are JUDEGMENTAL, and this judgement is always flawed and narrow and wrong.
Homophobia is actually just an expression of the regular ego doing its regular ego thing, just in the same way as any other conditioned belief which results in a sense of being offended by anyone or anything that outside of that belief - be it someone of another religion, another race, another gender, another color, size, hairstyle, whatever.
The fact is that the world is not black and white, it is not purely either/or, it quite often happens - though to less of a percentage usually - that there are exceptions to rules. Flowers that sometimes grow double heads, creatures which sometimes are half female and half male, humans that sometimes have a mix of sex-oriented organs, people with darker skin who become albino, people that are sometimes born as siamese conjined twins instead of separate bodies, etc.... nature isn't completely strict in its forms.
People only have prejudice against various aspects of the physical world when they think it's supposed to be a very very basic black-and-white model, where you have to be 100% this or 100% that. And as the mind believes strongly in separation the egotism emphasizes this contrast and exepcts everything to conform to it. And anything that deosn't is labeled as a sin. That's standard ego functioning, nothing special. It's unforgiveness. It's based on the belief that the world is absolutely real, and therefore separation is truth.
To be more forgiving we have to be willing to really look at what things are, not what we wish they would be, or what category they're supposed to fall into, or to judge them based on appearances while trying to fit them into neat little boxes. Some people are such a mix of things that you'd have a hard time even describing them accurately. In the past society was much more recognizing of the fact that everyone is to some degree bisexual, which is still true, even if people try to deny it.
Long story short, society needs to become more forgiving and learn that the human race isn't composed of pure men and pure women, but rather than absolutely everyone is at least to some degree partly both. All human embrios start out as female and even the males still have some trace of that in them. This is a world of relativity, in which nothing is absolute and nothing is extremely pure and nothing is completely separate. There is no real man or real woman. We are ALL hybrids, and everyone is queer. That's not wishful thinking etiher, that's the nature of spacetime.
The opposite of love is fear. Love is power.
The opposite of power is powerlessness. Therefore, fear is powerlessness.
I think you'll agree when you are afraid you are in a victim mode, you feel helpless, powerless, things are happening you cannot control, you can't do anything to stop it, you're scared its going to get worse, its happening to you, you seem to be weak and frail, you can't seem to go up against it becacuse it seems to be overpowering you etc.
Powerlessness is weakness, it is vulnerability, it is littleness and being small, it is hiding from yourself and God, it is shrinking into darkness, it is lack of love, it is being entirely at the effect of the world, it is disowning the power of decision, the freedom to choose, and a giving away of all responsibility.
If you are dis-empowered, meaning, you have pretended to have no power and are trying to make sure everyone other than you has it to use against you, you will be afraid. Fear is the feeling of being under threat.
You could only ever be under threat from something that could potentially cause you in some way - to have power over you to change you or affect you. And so fear requires you see yourself as a victim, under the power of the world.
As you reclaim your power and own up to being a son of God, you reclaim the power of God and become stronger. And this strength creates safety, and in turn reduces fear. Eventually you will realize you cannot be attacked at all, unless you attack yourself. And so you have only ever been scaring yourself with your own power.
"Do you not see that all your misery comes from the strange belief that you are powerless?"
"Each one contains the whole of fear, the opposite of love, (in all its ways), the hell that hides the memory of God, the crucifixion of His holy Son."
"The army of the powerless is weak indeed. It has no weapons, and it has no enemy."
"The slave of idols is a WILLING slave. For willing he MUST be, to let himself bow down in worship to what has no life, and seek for power in the powerless."
"Faith given to illusions does NOT lack power, for, BY it, does the Son of God believe that he is powerless."
"All forms of sickness, even unto death, are physical expressions of the FEAR OF AWAKENING. They are attempts to reinforce UNCONSCIOUSNESS out of fear of CONSCIOUSNESS. This is a pathetic way of TRYING NOT TO KNOW by rendering the faculties for knowing ineffectual."
"I am not weak, but strong. I am not helpless, but all powerful."
"You who perceive yourself as weak and frail, with futile hopes and devastated dreams, born but to die, to weep and suffer pain, hear this: All power is given you in earth and Heaven. There is nothing that you cannot do. You play the game of death, of being helpless, pitifully tied to dissolution in a world which shows no mercy to you. Yet when you accord it mercy, will its mercy shine on you."
"The miracle ITSELF is but the witness that you HAVE the power of God in you."
"It is only your weakness that will depart from you in this practice, for it is the practice of the power of God in you."
"All fear is ultimately reducible to the basic misperception of man's ability to USURP the power of God. It is again emphasized that he neither CAN nor HAS been able to do this. In this statement lies the real justification for his escape from fear. This is brought about by his acceptance of the Atonement, which places him in a position to realize that his own errors never really occurred."
"If perfect love casts out fear, And if fear exists, Then there is NOT perfect love. But ... Only perfect love really exists. Therefore, if there is fear, it creates a state which does not exist. Believe THIS and you WILL be free."
There is a clear teaching in ACIM that there are TWO worlds, and you can ONLY see one of the two in its entirety at any given time. Seeing one, REQUIRES you NOT TO SEE the other. You CANNOT see both of them in full simultaneously. And each of them uses a different KIND of vision, designed ONLY to see one kind of world.
One of these two worlds is Earth and its environment - all galaxies etc. The other is the real world/heaven - God's creation. You can ONLY see ONE of the two in full. If you shift your vision to true perception you can see God's world. If you shift your vision to false perception you can see the physical world. But you CANNOT DO BOTH AT ONCE.
So there is a dynamic, whereby the MORE that you see the real world, the LESS you see the physical world. As the real world "phases in", the physical world "fades out". You cannot see both at once, and in order to see one or the other you have to sacrifice the ability to see its opposite.
To the DEGREE that you value one of the worlds, that is how much you will see it, and inversely, this valuing of it causes you NOT TO VALUE the opposite world, which causes you to SEE IT LESS. This is a basic function of perception, that you see what you value, because you believe in it, and thus want to see it. You do NOT SEE what you DO NOT VALUE. And any world you consider "false" due to its opposite being "true", becomes invisible to you.
This is a very core teaching. You are choosing between heaven or hell.
"The world is false perception" and relies on physical sight of photons using the biological apparatus of the eyeballs an nerves etc.
The real world is true perception/christ vision and relies on the spiritual eye, which in turn DOES NOT rely on the body, and is direct mind-seeing.
Two types of perception. Two ways of seeing. Two worlds resulting. "The alternating investment in the two types or levels of perception is usually experienced as conflict for a long time, and can become very acute."
"This world you see MUST BE DENIED, for sight of it is costing you a different kind of vision. YOU CANNOT SEE BOTH WORLDS. For each of them involves a different kind of seeing, and depends on what you cherish. The sight of one is possible because you have DENIED THE OTHER."
"Both are not true, yet either one will seem as real to you, as the amount to which you hold it dear"
"Eventually, everybody begins to recognize, however dimly, that there MUST be a better way. As this recognition is more firmly established, it becomes a perceptual turning-point. This ultimately reawakens the spiritual eye, simultaneously weakening the investment in physical sight."
""The real world can ACTUALLY BE PERCEIVED. All that is necessary is a willingness to perceive nothing ELSE. For if you perceive both good AND evil, you are accepting both the false AND the true, AND MAKING NO DISTINCTION BETWEEN THEM."
"Accept the one illusion which proclaims there is no condemnation in God's Son, and Heaven is remembered instantly; the world forgotten"
"The world stands like a block before Christ's face. But true perception looks on it as nothing more than just a fragile veil, so easily dispelled that it can last no longer than an instant. It is seen at last for only what it is. And now it cannot fail to disappear."
"When the thought of separation has been changed to one of true forgiveness, will the world be seen in quite another light; and one which leads to truth, where all the world must disappear."
A lot of people interpret forgiveness to be some kind of process you do to fix your mind.
But ACIM seems to say something different. For example:
"Only Christ forgives, knowing His sinlessness. His vision heals perception and sickness disappears."
So, hang on a minute. Joe Smith doing ACIM thinks he's "doing forgiveness", and has a little procedure he practices and tries to take back projections and undo judgements and so on and he thinks he is forgiving. But ACIM say, ONLY Christ forgives. So isn't Joe's ego claiming to be doing forgiveness?
Forgiveness is actually the state of TRUE perception, which is the end goal of the course, and not exactly something that someone is in white they're undertaking the course, especially not in earlier stages.
How about the fact that we're also told that forgiveness is a form of LOVE ... how often do you hear people saying that forgiveness is the SAME thing as love? Hardly ever. But full maximal love is quite a highly advanced spiritual state. Forgiveness and love are basically the same thing, but who ever describes forgiveness as love?
"Forgiveness is an earthly form of love which as it is in Heaven has no form. Yet what is needed here is given here as it is needed. In this form you can fulfill your function even here, although what love will mean to you when formlessness has been restored to you is greater still."
Then we're also told that it is perhaps not even our FUNCTION at this point to forgive. For example:
"The Holy Spirit forgives everything, BECAUSE GOD CREATED EVERYTHING. Do not undertake HIS function, or you will forget YOURS."
So we're being asked not to take over the Holy Spirit's function of forgiving. And it even suggests that in terms of us being forgiven, it is not US that forgives ourselves. More to the point, it says that we ARE forgiven already - as far as the Holy Spirit is concerned, and our work is more to do with acceptance of this truth rather than the production of this truth. WE don't put forgiveness in place!
"Never attempt to OVERLOOK your guilt BEFORE you ask the Holy Spirit's help. That is HIS function. Your part is only to offer Him a LITTLE willingness to LET Him remove all fear and hatred, and to BE forgiven."
Essentially, forgiveness is a final state of true perception which is the same thing as accepting atonement and achieving salvation and resurrection. It isn't a step along a path. It isn't a process or procedure or technique. It's the end result natural state of a healed mind that is loving, and BE's FORGIVING toward everything. It is the nature of a loving mind expressing and relating from love with love.
When you're IN that state of mind you are being one with Christ, and with the Holy Spirit, which is why you then can claim to "be forgiving." But really until you reach that state, and you're still in false perceptions trying to undo your hell, what you're DOING isn't really forgiveness.
What if every reference to forgiveness in the course is a reference to the END STATE, and not a process?
What if we're being asked to "practice forgiveness" only in the sense of trying to get ourselves TO the state of forgiveness? And what if we should not be calling that practice "forgiveness", but rather perhaps - purification, or mind training? Or accepting that we've been forgiven already?
I think the term forgiveness has been rather hijacked by a lot of people, students and teachers alike. It really refers to the purified state of miracle mindedness, whole perception, true perception, a healed mind and heart, a state filled with love, identified with Christ, and the perfect enlightened recognition that there is nothing LEFT to be forgiven - that only innocence exists.
We can practice moving toward that state as our goal, but what we're doing to get there must not take over the Holy Spirit's function or presume that we are "being forgiving" when all that we're doing are a few basic steps to reclaim slightly less insanity. Forgiveness is really on the level of miracle working.
"Miracles are natural expressions of total forgiveness. Through miracles, man accepts God's forgiveness by extending it to others."
Forgiveness that is not COMPLETE forgiveness is not really forgiveness. COMPLETE forgiveness immediately BE's forgiving toward everything without need for thought or practice or procedure or technique. It is loving relationship.
"In His perception of the world, nothing is seen but justifies forgiveness and the sight of perfect sinlessness. Nothing arises but is met with instant and complete forgiveness."
"And that, in COMPLETE forgiveness, in which you recognize that there is nothing to forgive, YOU are absolved completely."
"Remember that you who want peace can find it only by complete forgiveness."
"Forgiveness, salvation, Atonement, true perception, all are one. They are the one beginning with the end to lead to Oneness far beyond themselves. True perception is the means by which the world is saved from sin, for sin does not exist. And it is this that true perception sees."
The world we made - Earth etc - seems like a world we cannot control. When you look at it, almost no-one has any ability to DIRECTLY move objects with their mind. To change one thing into another. The amount of limitation of the seeming ability to "will that something happens, is EXTREME.
"he is a body, born in what must die, unable to escape its frailty, and bound by what it orders him to feel. It sets the limits on what he can do; its power is the only strength he has; his grasp cannot exceed its tiny reach."
This is because when we made this world, we were willing AGAINST God's will, and against will itself. We thus imposed a sense of imprisonment ON our will and shut ourselves off from our power. In willing a world based on unwillingness, we made a world that is NOT a world "of will", and this has effectively cut our minds off from being able to "will" that the world change.
"You still HAVE the power, but you have interposed so much between it and your AWARENESS of it, that you cannot use it."
This doesn't mean we don't have this power, or cannot access it. But for most people it means they live in such a way that the body limits their entire expression and confines them inside of it. Mind seems unable to reach past it to influence anything. You can't even seem to move a single speck of dust no matter how hard you try.
By making a world of "not will" or unwillingness, or against will, we made a world that seems out of control. A world where things just seem to happen haphazardly and chaotically. Where objects just tumble to the ground, where things just fall and land wherever the wind takes them, and where all manner of stuff just happens seemingly accidentally. As if no-one willed it. As if it just was following some basic laws of physics, which are really the absence of laws.
"You were willing to accept even death to deny your Father. But He would not have it so, and so it is NOT so. You still could not will against Him, and that is why you have no control over the world you made. It is NOT a world of will, because it is governed by the desire to be unlike Him. And this desire IS NOT WILL. The world you made is therefore totally chaotic, governed by arbitrary and senseless "laws," and without meaning of ANY kind. For it was made out of what you do NOT want, projected FROM your mind, because you were AFRAID of it."
So now we're confronted with a world that we seem unable to control. However, through forgiveness and re-acquiring access to the power of the mind, we can GAIN control over it. And our miracles can demonstrate that this is so. By undoing imprisonment, which involves de-identifying from the prison - the body - we can regain access to the power of the mind.
"Yet this world is ONLY in the mind of its maker, along with his REAL salvation. Do not believe it is outside of yourself, for only by recognizing WHERE it is, will you gain control over it. For you DO have control over your mind, for the mind is the mechanism of decision."
"Yet all that stands between you, and the power of God in you, is but your learning of the false, and your attempts to UNDO THE TRUE. Be willing, then, for ALL of it to be undone, and be glad that you are not bound to it forever. For you have taught yourselves HOW TO IMPRISON THE SON OF GOD, a lesson so unthinkable that only the insane, in deepest sleep, could even DREAM of it."
"People prefer to believe that their thoughts cannot exert real control because they are literally AFRAID of them."
"But if you use it ONLY to reach the minds of those who believe they ARE bodies and teach them THROUGH the body that THIS IS NOT SO, you will begin to understand the power of the mind that is in both of you."
"Learning must lead BEYOND the body to the re-establishment of the power of the mind IN it. This can be accomplished ONLY if the mind EXTENDS to other minds, and does not ARREST ITSELF in its extension."
"I demonstrated both the powerlessness of the body AND the power of the mind, by uniting MY will with that of my Creator, which naturally remembered the Soul and its own real purpose."
"Very few people appreciate the real power of the mind."
"The mind is a very powerful creator, and it never loses its creative force. It never sleeps. Every instant it is creating, and ALWAYS as you will."
"It is hard to recognize that thought and belief combine into a power-surge that can literally move mountains."
"Why is it strange to you that faith can move mountains? This is indeed a little feat for such a power."
"Your mind is capable of creating worlds"