In ACIM's teaching, there was originally just one "level" or realm in which to exist - The Kingdom of God, Heaven. This is true because the Kingdom is one logical state or nature.

In the separation, we invented a second level or logical state, by trying to be opposite to the Kingdom. This wasn't a partial opposition it was a total opposition, like light and darkness. This second state is a state of dreaming and perception, opposing knowledge. It's technically inside of Heaven, but it a belief in being exiled or outside of it. So this forms a kind of second "level."

We often visualize the two main levels as "above and below", where Heaven is the higher level and Earth is the lower. The two levels contrast and oppose each other in EVERY way imaginable. Light vs Dark, Reality vs Illusions, Life vs Death, Love vs Fear, Immortality vs Mortality, etc. Some refer to the two main levels as level 1 (heaven) and level 2 (earth).

Within level 2 (earth) - "Earth, heaven's opposite in every way", which is the level of "all perception", there is a wide spectrum of states of mind ranging from false perception to true perception. But it's often helpful to contrast them more extremely which suggests two additional levels within the level of perception - the lower dream and the higher dream.

In the lower dream there is false perception, physical objects, form, bodies, the world/earth, attack, sin, death, sickness etc. In the higher dream there is true perception, no physical objects, no bodies, the real world, no sin or sickness, no death etc. They are effectively opposite states WITHIN level 2.

It's important to realize that this basic logical structure is infused throughout the course, because Jesus is at various times talking within the context of different levels. For example he might talk about the higher dream of true perception, and it can sound glowing and lovely, but if you forget that it is within the CONTEXT of level 2, you might be tempted to forget that ALL of the rules that apply to level 2 still apply.

For example the course tells us a glowing report about the real world, or the forgiven world, or true perception/salvation, but at the same time it also reminds us in other passages that "the real world still is but a dream" and "those who perceive (at all) still need healing." So within level 2, the dream of perception, even when we're talking about true perception or forgiveness or the healed body, we have to keep in mind that both the rules of true perception (higher dream within level 2) AND the rules of level 2 itself are simultaneously applying.

Confusing these levels, not being clear about which statements are referring to which levels, not understanding which contexts certain statements are given in and not keeping in mind that the larger context of levels 1 and 2 always apply when discussing anything to do with the realm of perception, can lead to a whole lot of confusion about what stuff means or implies. This is part of what's called "level confusion", not knowing which level is above or below or inside of another.

The general story, in summary, is that you began in level 1, you dreamed of level 2, and while dreaming of level 2 you dreamed of a level 2 inside of level 2 - a lower dream of hell and form, and then the holy spirit provided a higher dream - a level 1 inside level 2, which reflects the real level 1 of heaven, to lead you out of the dream into reality.

I was thinking for a while that maybe certain people were inept. Maybe it was certain groups of people. Maybe it was medical people. And maybe it was the body. Maybe it was just some portion of things. But the more I look at it the more I realize that the ENTIRE WORLD, the whole SYSTEM of thought of this lower-order reality of spacetime, is fundamentally broken. It is an impossible system, based on laws of failure and lack and insufficiency.

The whole thing functions in a ridiculously faulty way. Every motion, every action, every doing, every impulse, causes a disruption and changes and side effects. You cannot do anything physical without it potentially leading to more problems. Everything you do to fix something gives rise to new problems. Every use of materials degrades the material. Every aspect of this entire cosmos is fundamentally stupid as fuck and ridiculously backwards.

The whole thing simultaneously gives one thing and takes away another, in a two-faced self-contradicting self-denying expression of incapability and limitation. Nothing in the world has any ability ever to truly do anything unconditionally or perfectly. There is no unlimited giving, no flawless correction, no ultimate solution, no perfect response, no clear answer, and no magical salvation.

There is literally no salvation in the world which produces a state of utter hopelessness. This is the stupidity of the world at large, and the whole thing is one big giant fuckup. There is no escape from it. The only way out of this hell is through transcendence and forgiveness, recognizing it is NOT REAL, and therefore thankfully there ARE no unsolvable problems. Such is the miracle's ability to reverse everything the world says can never be undone.

The world is an ILLUSION. An illusion that presents itself as being one thing when in fact it is its opposite. Everything it tries to do it does the opposite. Every way it helps it hurts. Every pleasure leads to pain. Every solution becomes broken. It cannot go towards God because everything if offers ALWAYS points towards death and destruction. Even its so-called "life" has death in it.

Contemplating this fact of the world's bullshittery made me laugh so much.

"Real choice is no illusion. But the world has none to offer. ALL its roads but lead to disappointment, nothingness and death. There IS no choice in its alternatives. Seek not ESCAPE from problems here. The world was made that problems could not BE escaped. Be not deceived by all the different names its roads are given. They have but one end. And each is but the means to GAIN that end, for it is here that all its roads will lead, however differently they seem to start; however differently they seem to go. Their end is certain, for there is no choice among them. All of them will lead to death. On some you travel gaily for a while, before the bleakness enters. And on some the thorns are felt at once. The choice is not WHAT will the ending be, but WHEN it comes."

"It takes great learning both to realize and to accept the fact that the world has nothing to give."

"You do not really want the world you see, for it has disappointed you since time began. The homes you built have never sheltered you. The roads you made have led you nowhere, and no city that you built has withstood the crumbling assault of time. Nothing you made but has the mark of death upon it. Hold it not dear, for it is old and tired, and ready to return to dust, even as you made it."

"Thus does the miracle undo all things the world attests can never BE undone. And hopelessness and death MUST disappear before the ancient clarion call of life. This call has power FAR beyond the weak and miserable cry of death and guilt."

When I used to be sick or suffering, the only options at my disposal was to take a medication, or "wait it out" or "let it run its course" or go through the suffering until I had "fully suffered". Like waiting for the body to heal itself.

Like there was some kind of requirement or this was the only way to "get past it". There was no quick fix. And so I was simply used to this way of existing where problems could not be easily resolved. This seemed "normal."

But then Holy Spirit started to do his thing. And all of a sudden this assumption that suffering and healing take a lot of time, came into question.

All of a sudden it started to seem possible that, "maybe I don't have to suffer"... or "maybe I don't have to tolerate this" ... or "why should I have to wait for this to run its course"... or "what if I can choose not to just let this snowball into weeks of turmoil?"

And as I began to receive Holy Spirit's help and healing, I started to discover that if I was willing, I could start to challenge whether or not I HAD to suffer... I could start learning a little at a time to question this.... maybe I don't HAVE to go through this, or let it just have power over me to dictate how long I have to put up with this. What if there is a better way?

And so I stated to peel back my alignment with the ego and my belief that I should just "go along with" the suffering, as if I had no other option. I started to get used to this idea of stopping myself and not just blindly going along with the program, and realizing that maybe I don't HAVE to. And as there started to BE another option - that I could get healed by Holy Spirit, that really started to bring into question whether suffering had to be TOLERATED or put up with.

What also has increased is a kind of REFUSAL and strength to say NO to the prescribed suffering, to rebuke it, to realize that I DO have a choice, and that in actual fact there IS a POWER in decision. That I can decide NOT to suffer. That I do not have to accept or tolerate it. If I am willing, there is another way. I can instead refuse to just lay down and accept this and instead forgive and get into willingness and choice and get out of victimhood and learn to let go, to let myself receive help and get some healing.

This has really undermined the sense of having to just let shit happen. Holy Spirit is adamant that you DO NOT HAVE TO SUFFER. There is no merit in it. You don't have to be guilty for a month and suffer with a sickness. All He wants is for you to return to happiness - it's God's will. So as you start to practice this and open up to it and receive help, you also start to erode the belief in "required suffering", which is a belief in sin and guilt.

This is also part of why sickness and death are NOT GOD'S WILL, and being sick or dead is AGAINST God's will. God wills instead that you be FULLY HEALED, that you do not have to merely tolerate or put up with suffering or being sick or hurt or damaged in any way. He wants to release you from this torture and help you to realize that you deserve and CAN ACCESS permanent healing and health and happiness. That death and sickness are not supposed to be part of your experience AT ALL.

I think that I recently reached a turning point. It's particularly to do with the sense of being a "separate person". This seemed to come into question, particularly in terms of relationships with others, how I see them, who I think they are etc. And it also very much involved questioning the reality of my body and the bodies of others.

I seemed to be opening up to an idea of oneness, a sense of sharing, of joining minds, and that others are a part of myself. I could see how I had been trapped inside a kind of prison of isolation for a long time, identified with my body and with being "not others". As if everything I did and how I thought about people all revolved around this sense of me being separate from them. I found myself apologizing a lot in my mind for all the ways I'd been wrongly separating myself off through various forms of conflict and scapegoating.

As I embraced more the idea that my brothers are part of myself, this began to transcend bodily boundaries. It also began to open up a sense of inclusion and shared interests. I started experimenting with the idea of "being" other people, and trying to include them in myself as I related to them. It changes the energy dynamics completely and totally deflates all sense of going to war. I realized this was a major part of the golden rule, the atonement, the idea of sharing, and deeply connected to true miracle-working.

Since that turning point, and as this sense of joining continues to expand, I've been noticing a few things that are changing. I feel as though I am stepping outside of a box that I've been in. As if there's been a little circle drawn on the floor around my feet and I've never before stepped outside the circle. Everywhere I've gone, I've still been inside the circle, cut off from people. And as I now step outside of it, it makes me realize all the more that the body is a device for separation.

In particular I feel that I've been just stuck in the idea of "I am a body" my whole life, and that the body has served as a way to remain separated off. I suddenly started seeing how every way I related to people was a special relationship, based on them being "not me", and all revolving around the body being the thing that separates me off. Seeing other people as confined to their bodies. Seeing myself as only that which is inside this body.

This boundary, which has been there, is now recognized as being the "cause of" a great deal of struggle, conflict, loss and unhappiness. Being identified and anchored to this body and "excluding" others, has formed the basis of all scapegoating, justifying all finger-pointing, all blame, all sense that something applies to others and not me. I see the body now as the core of what keeps me apart from others. And if I separate them off based on their body being separate from my body, that's the whole trap.

Suddenly I find myself stepping outside of this entire dynamic. Transcending bodies. Including people as a part of myself. Developing a sense of shared identity. I realize that peace is only possible by sharing and joining, because only in oneness is there no separation or war. And that it is ONLY through joining of mind and sharing an identity that you can actually work true miracles. It literally requires the two minds to have a shared sense of oneness and identity which transcends bodies. It is that mystical, psychological, joining of two beings as one, that literally undoes the separation, and therefore sickness and death.

I see now much more clearly the "road home", as being a movement away from being separated off, and towards being reunited with others. Of finding more ways to include others in myself. And I see that this truly is the only way to end the war, the conflict, the arguments, the projections, and all the ego activities. We came from a state of union and we have to return to it.

It is quite startling in fact to recognize that, in truth, we are supposed to be basically everywhere, united with everyone, sharing everything, one with all minds, being a part of all beings, and that in contrast, bodies are doing the absolute extreme opposite of that. They are serving as ways to keep people apart, promote conflict, imprison and trap, produce loneliness and isolation, and breed sickness.

I can see now in fact that it is my belief in being separate that fuels sickness in myself and others. It is the very sense of the rift or split in my mind - our mind - a sense of us not being one with each other, that manifests as illness. I have been producing illness between myself and others as a projected form of the idea of being at war with them.

Pictures of crucifixion have arisen as psychological images of dream-weapons held up to support the idea of "not being each other". Of being in a state of attack and special relationship. A state of separating off and being an enemy. It breeds a dream of death that I've been doing to myself. And always whenever the body is involved as a separation device, the relationship is always one of specialness and conflict and hatred.

It feels like coming out of a shell, out of hiding. It feels like realizing that you've been living in a prison cell all your life, anchored inside the body, and suddenly are realizing that this has hemmed you in and has tended to make you withdraw to your isolation as a way to solve problems. Now that I suddenly realize I don't have to be trapped in the body, I can spread my wings and encompass others, be more inclusive and share more.

It's strange but this seems also be precisely what it means to truly forgive. Because forgiveness isn't just about recognizing people's innocence. Forgiveness is atonement, atonement is sharing, and that means joining of minds. Forgiveness literally entails and requires minds to be inclusive of each other. It's not just a state of truer perceptions and more accurate judgements, it's actually a state of union and sharing. A return to shared identity and being.

As a result, and without deliberately attempting to do so, I suddenly am noticing myself giving people far more credit, benefit of the doubt, charity, etc. Just as I found myself doing in certain forgiveness meditations, such as in lesson 121 in the course - forgiveness is the key to happiness, in which you are guided to see light in an enemy and find ways to credit them with the good they've done rather than focus on their shortcomings.

I find myself seeming to put my arms around people psychologically, my mind keeps taking an automatic step away from holding things against people and has this sort of "space" between where they're at and what I credit them with. I seem to be transcending their bodies and their egos along with my own. And that means, what I feel to be, true forgiveness is happening. I'm actually taking a vantage point, generalized and widespread, in which I am literally being more forgiving all the time, more loving, more inclusive, and more sharing.

I've been finding myself suddenly opening up to people more, connecting with people, serving people, helping people more than ever. It is diminishing and removing fears about relating to strangers, and seems to be powering me, not with some kind of bravado or arrogance but with gentleness and connection. I seem to be opening up. And to me that means that, living as a separated off body-identified self means being closed down. It means being cut off from others.

The simple truth is that bodies have been lying to us this whole time. We've bought into being bodies hook line and sinker. And that means being separated from each other, because bodies are literally never joined. The more we are a body the less we share. The more we are a body the more we are at war. The more we are a body the more confined we become to one little spot in the world, which becomes the center of the ego universe, and everyone else becomes an enemy.

Getting away from being a body is the key. It's like opening a door that I never realized was shut all this time. I've been doing this same thing over and over and over forever. Everything I've said and thought and done and related has been still within the confines of this prison cell. Still from a vantage point of being a separated self, a self that is not shared with other selves. A self that isn't united or whole or one or part of a sonship. The unhealed healer that is suffering from "separation sickness" and thinks they have something that others lack - ie that they lack me.

That's been the one common denominator this whole time, and now I'm learning to open the door and step outside. To expand my sense of self, to include myself in others, and to become a part of life. To restore relationship and connection, as well as to uphold health and wholeness. And I knew, it's not going to be long, as this continues to develop and increase, the movement towards being able to truly join minds and perform miracles of union.

Sharing is the key. Joining is everything. The oneness is our true nature. Not in rejection of our individual souls, but joining them together as a collective. We are still a holographic family, many yet one, each other yet ourselves. This means still being "me", but it also means being "more than just myself" and including others in what I am. I've focused too much on the "separate me" part and not enough on the "oneness" part. And it was the "oneness" part of that that I was missing out on. Not any more.

"One brother is all brothers. Every mind contains all minds, for every mind is one. Such is the truth."

"Be free today, and carry freedom as your gift to those who still believe they are enslaved within a body. Be you free, so that the Holy Spirit can make use of your escape from bondage to set free the many who perceive themselves as bound and helpless and afraid. Let love replace their fears through you. Accept salvation now, and give your mind to Him Who calls to you to make this gift to Him. For He would give you perfect freedom, perfect joy, and hope that finds its full accomplishment in God."

If you can "do a forgiveness" and get to where you can accept that the sin was not real, therefore didn't really happen, and that therefore you are still innocent, it will reveal something to you.

It will reveal that God is always loving you, does not believe you're sinful, and sees you as permanently innocent. When this is true, it must mean that God has always been this way, always loving you, always finding you innocent.

That means that God's will is already accomplished. He has already given life. He has already given forgiveness and love. He has already provided healing.

This then gives you a secret piece of the miracle-working puzzle, which is that God has ALREADY healed. His will is ALREADY accomplished.

A nice analogy I heard was that after the World War, even though peace was declared, some Japanese soldiers had not received the news that the war was over. They kept fighting, and going around killing people, for over 30 years. They didn't get the memo!

So it is similar with God. The war is already over. Jesus has already overcome death and has claimed the atonement for everyone. He recognizes nothing has happened, sin is not real, there is no death and no world. That's why He came to tell us this.

And yet, here is this "world", which seems to be a bit lagging behind the news. It hasn't quite got the memo. The people still think there is a war going on. There are still people who believe that sickness and sin and death are real, and are still defending themselves against an enemy that isn't even there.

People are still producing defenses against the truth, people are still creating sickness, people are still at war, and it still *seems* like the war is not over yet. But according to God, the war is definitely over, and never even really began! We just didn't get the memo.

So this applies to how we work miracles. Part of the miracle entails the recognition that God's will is already accomplished, that healing has already been given, that God does not change His mind, that God isn't deciding whether to heal or not, and therefore, we need to focus on and believe that the miracle HAS been accomplished. That it WILL be received. Sooner or later.

All that we're kind of doing now is a cleanup job, tidying up loose ends and bringing the "good news" to people to tell that the war is already over. They can be pretty entrenched! Still believing heavily that the battle is still waging and that it might actually be won or lost, by themselves or the enemy. It's not true.

Miracles bring the news of God's truth into this world, albeit an illusory world, to infuse it with light and help to dispel, heal, and clean-up the mess left by the conflict. As in Heaven so on Earth. This doesn't as such mean the Earth is heaven or that it will remain, just that Heaven will appear to "descend" here as everyone becomes awakened in Christ, and then the whole place will fill with tremendous light and vanish.

So... miracles... the result is already accomplished... this is a key to proper prayer, focusing on the receipt and the knowing that it must be true because God already willed it. You're not making new laws, you're just enforcing the law.

The war is over.

The interesting thing about all blocks to awareness, is that there is always love behind them. The block is there to hide the love. The block also makes it seem like the love is not there. But if you were to remove the block, you would return to the awareness of love's presence, which has been there all along. This is why behind every grievance there is a miracle of love.

"The miracle behind this grievance will resolve it for me."

"The answer to this problem is the miracle which it conceals."

We began in love and we love everyone and everything. But then along comes ego stuff, grievances, hates, judgements, blame, anger, fear, guilt, sinfulness, darkness, to blot out the love and cover it up. But we truly do simply "cover it over" with a layer of untruth, to disguise it and make it seem like it's not there.

This means that no matter who you seem to be angry towards, you actually do love them behind that anger. Behind all physical objects there is also love. Behind the body there is love. Behind all attacks and judgements you love the thing you are attacking and judging. Underneath your hatred there is love. And beyond every layer of self condemnation there is love. It's already there, because it's your love of God which nothing can remove.

The course says that grievances and miracles are opposite. That a grievance hides a miracle. And if you apply forgiveness to the grievance to undo it, you will become aware of the miracle instead. ie if you remove the block to love, the love is revealed. It's kind of like removing the clouds so that the sun can shine. The sun is always there behind the clouds.

It's not as if, when you're in a grievance, there is no love anywhere. It does seem that way because a grievance is a denial of love, it's an attack and a belief in sin. Every grievance attacks love and attacks God and the sonship. But it does this only in an attempt to make it go away, which ultimately is a form of denial. You can't make love go away because love is permanent. All you can do in truth is hide it from your awareness and pretend it's not there. Like burying your head in the sand.

If you can remember that behind every grievance there is a miracle of love, then you know that the purpose of every grievance is to hide the love. And that means every grievance implies there is love there, a love which you're trying to use the grievance to hide. The grievance is serving a purpose of avoiding the truth. Admitting to the truth and waking up to reality exposes you to love again.

To do that you need to recognize the attack is there to serve a purpose. You aren't just attacking for no reason, or even just because you want to get rid of your sin and guilt. You're doing it to achieve a goal of keeping God away. Every attack upon yourself and every projected attack upon others, is only there to serve the goal of separation from God. You use it for that reason alone. You want to keep the separation going so that you will not be exposed to love.

"Projection will ALWAYS hurt you. It reinforces your belief in your own split mind, and its ONLY purpose is to KEEP THE SEPARATION GOING."

The removal of the blocks to love's presence, is merely the removal of all attempts to attack. Attack is sin, and also insanity. You can only attack yourself, so each time you are attacking you are trying to hurt yourself. Doing that hides your awareness from love, and is really the purpose of the attack. The aim of all attack is to resist the truth, to shut God out, to hide from reality, and to assert that you are not immortal. But without attack, only the truth of love remains.

"The goal of the curriculum, regardless of the teacher you choose, is KNOW THYSELF. There is nothing else to learn. Everyone is looking for himself and the power and glory he thinks he has lost."

God gave us our perfect self, with eternal life and immortality. There is nothing wrong with us.

But we denied who we were, hid from ourselves, blocked our awareness of being perfect, and tried to destroy our selves.

Having blocked our perfection we thought we were lacking and in need, as though empty of self, and began to feel compelled to find ourselves. But without questioning the belief that we were not already love within.

So we started to look outside ourselves, separate from ourselves, for ourselves. We thought we had to invent ourselves, add ourselves, redefine ourselves, make ourselves. Because we lacked ourselves.

And so we made up a false identity, an ego self, a fake self, of our own making, in an effort to have a self. In an effort to compensate for the lack of self, resulting from self denial.

By following the "seek and do not find" paradigm we thought that we could replace the self God created with another one of our own choosing. But this can never work because we keep trying to create it separate FROM ourselves.

And this self we keep trying to make needs bolstering, needs validation, needs attention, needs reinforcement, needs effort and energy and work, needs to be constantly patched up, constantly fixed, constantly modified and perfected, made to be "right" and superior and to be proud of this self. It is always becoming a self and never really being one.

But all this effort to make a false self is arising from the denial of BEING a self already. It's coming from not accepting who you really are as created by God. It's a substitute for the self you think you LOST and believe you do not have.

So if you were to simply accept yourself as God created you, if you were to uncover your real Christ self, if you were to just let yourself exist already as a creation of God, you'd have no lack of self, and no need to make a self, and would stop manufacturing the ego.

The making of a separate self is the end goal of attempting to have a "spiritual path". Attempting to become something, to gain something, to transform into something, to produce something. You keep wanting to form a spiritualised ego, a self that is spiritual, of your own making. But this is an ego pursuit - a pursuit of ego by ego. Trying to turn yourself into something more spiritual, while your real self is already 100% spirit.

It's all to do with you trying to seek to have a self that you think you lack. Why would you need to invent a new self and have an ego self or be a body if you already had a self that God gave you?

Thus accepting atonement is simply about you owning up to being what you already are, uncovering the self God created, re-identifying with your true nature, and simply knowing yourself. Know thyself as you were created by God, as you have always been, and as you will always be.

You cannot be someone you're not, you are not lacking, and you cannot be the creator of yourself.

My wife had said she was getting a foot cramp and that pain was coming down her leg from the middle of the shin bone downwards.

This was the site where, some 15-odd years ago, she had bashed into the dishwasher door and probably chipped the bone. She had a hard bump there ever since due to how the body had tried to heal it, which was a little painful to push on. It protruded out of the smooth shinbone and was easily visible and easy to feel with the fingers. It was an area a little smaller than a 25-cent coin.

I put my two fingers on the area and was in quite a strong inner condition, relatively free from fear. I intended that it be healed. My fingers started vibrating as Holy Spirit began to flow.

I did not say anything for a while. I felt that instead of trying to force the thing to heal, I would sort of step back and stay within my inner strength. I had a sense of certainty and knowing. I didn't feel the need to go out of my center and try to force it, but rather, remained centered in being free from fear.

She said "there's no point, it's been there for years". I said, "that doesn't matter". I was certain that this was irrelevant.

Holy Spirit suggested words: "go down". So I spoke this at the bump. I also told it to "heal". I could feel beneath my fingers a sense of "sinking" or collapsing. I commanded it again "be healed" "bone fuse together".

I could feel under my fingers two or three times the sensation of something disappearing. About a minute later I checked. The whole area had reduced down and was much flatter. The whole upper area had become completely flat. All that remained was a small area about half the size of half of a 1 cent coin which was still protruding.

We stopped there, but it was quite cool to see that there was a marked difference. She tested it herself and remarked that it had indeed seemed to have worked.

I learned from this the difference between going off-center and trying to become aggressive or pushy in trying to force something to change, versus staying clearly centered in strength and freedom from fear and commanding "from a distance". I felt much stronger and more certain this way, as though I didn't need to fight with it because I knew with more certainty that I was in the truth and it was not.

I later was asking Holy Spirit about this. It turns out that this remaining centered in truth is the same thing as "having faith". It's not wishful thinking nor blind hope. It's a sense of certainty and truth and freedom from fear or indecisiveness. I also was shown how miracle-working is very similar to how God creates, He simply remains strong in the truth and remains "centered" and then "shines" outward from there, staying within Himself but "expressing" from that point of Authority. This is how we need to be when we are working miracles, otherwise if we step down from the position of authority in trying to make something happen, we move away from strength and certainty and thus become weaker.

This is why the ego's version of power is to have power over something through force, while God's version of power is to BE IN strength (love, fearlessness, certainty, truth) and stay IN it while "emitting" the creative power.

God was talking to me last night.

I began to ask Him to forgive me for some things. Jesus nudged me that I was making a mistake to ask this. I then wondered if God would forgive me then. God said, "You are my Holy Creation. How could I not love you?". I melted, with an immediate emotional response.

The sense of love pouring out was palpable. It seemed so obvious and clear that, simply by the fact that He had created me, that MUST have meant He loved me. There was no other interference or reason not to. It was so simple.

As I opened up to try to absorb this truth and feel this love, it was curious how suddenly a voice popped up from inside my belly. It was like the ego just suddenly got really pissed off and came out of its little house with its fists in the air shouting "how dare you, this can't be true, look at what you've done!".

It was referring then, and starting to bring into my awareness (because light was shining brightly upon me) things that I'd done in the past which I apparently still felt that I was SINFUL for. It particularly revolved around an event when I was 11 where a terrible event happened and someone got injured "because of me".

Apparently some part of me still believed I was sinful for this, having done it. And this is in spite of spending 30+ years working on this event trying to heal it, trying to find different ways of looking at it. I'd even become aware of how it transpired due to a past last reversal of karma, and how it was a lesson, and the various aspects of whether or not I really wanted to hurt the person. I thought I'd come to what seemed to be peace about it, but apparently it was not quite done with.

The ego (really me), screamed at myself, pointing to how I'd sinned and was guilty. How could God POSSIBLY love me without any strings attached whatsoever, when so OBVIOUSLY I had done something so "wrong"? It seemed to have a point. Deep down I still believed in my guilt.

However, what then transpired was a true forgiveness. It was clear that God loved me and as I felt into this, I could tell how God was not accusing me. Somehow in my mind I had to reconcile this because either what God was saying was true, or what my ego/hurt-self was saying was true. They couldn't both be true.

This is when God told me the simple, pivotal, clarifying fact which is the very foundation of the Atonement and of ALL forgiveness: "It wasn't real".

This brought on a tremendous sense of relief and began to make me laugh extensively. I started to explore this idea, because I didn't quite believe it yet, but if it was true, it seemed like FINALLY, after all this time, and after all of the ways that I tried to rationalize why I was innocent, this was the key to a REAL INNOCENCE.

If the events that transpired at 11 were not REAL, and were just illusions, then absolutely everything that seemed to occur did not REALLY happen. And therefore that is why I cannot have possibly have REALLY sinned. If the world was not real, if the person was not real, if my body was not real, if the events were not real, and if what I "did" was not real, how could it have been a real sin?

For the first time, I could finally see how if the events weren't real, I *ACTUALLY* could be forgiven. Like, all the way forgiven. Forgiveness apparently is completely dependent on this FACT, because if the world is actually "happening", if it is "real", if events in it are having "real effects" on real people, then there is just no way that there can be any innocence. And so there I was, finally after all these years, revealing in this simply clear truth, that I CANNOT be sinful because it didn't even really happen!

Trusting God's word on this, I explored this a little further, because it now had to imply something. If THAT sin was not real because it didn't really happen, then.... doesn't that mean that there is no such thing as a REAL SIN? Yes! There cannot be any such thing as a real sin. This made me think of some people's view of sin as that you actually did sin and need to get forgiveness. The TRUE perspective on this is that the sin you thought you did, you DID NOT REALLY DO, and that is why you are forgiven!

This then started to extend to, well, if I have not ever sinned and I'm innocent, then doesn't that mean, nobody else has ever sinned either? That there has never been a real sin? Yes! Everyone is TRULY innocent because sin has never happened.

This just seemed so simple and so clear and so easy. Once again, withdrawing a sense of "reality" from illusions presented the truth. And the truth set me free. Finally I was able to feel a genuine sense of love-ability, a genuine sense of innocence, a genuine sense that God DOES see me with forgiveness, that this "sin is forgiven". I believe all of the laughter that followed was a healing release from my belly area.

By the way these things spring from the belly because that's actually the area of the "2nd brain" which is an emotional center where most feelings are felt. We carry most emotional pain there.

For years I had been secretly hanging on to the supposed "need" that I needed to have this other person forgive me in order for me to be forgiven. I was able to let that go! I do not need that person's forgiveness because I am not really sinful. Those events were not real, the person has not really been hurt because they are immortal spirit, NOTHING HAPPENED, and therefore .... I could see, this new truth emerging.....

I DID THIS TO MYSELF!

All of the events, all of the people involved, all of the activities, all of what transpired, all of the reactions from myself and other people, all of it was orchestrated by me! This was when Jesus stepped in and told me "It was a lesson". "In forgiveness". And indeed it was, because I'd learned so much about forgiveness from this one calamity in my efforts to heal from it. Seeing I did it to myself I could see that ALL aspects of it were "within" my own doing, and NONE of it was done "to me" by anyone else. Freeing!

The simple truth then was completely obvious. The atonement principle! "Nothing happened". This is literally, factually true. The world is an illusion. All events in the world are an illusion. People's bodies are illusions. The whole physical universe is an illusion. Nothing REAL has happened. There have not been any REAL problems or REAL wars or REAL deaths or REAL sicknesses. There has been no REAL damage. It is all a fucking illusion!!!

I could see this finally, relating to this incident, and it brough such relief and a sense of JOY. I could actually feel joy. Joyful because there was no real reason not to be. Naturally joyful. And I was smiling as I fell asleep.

Today I feel strangely peaceful, like something that was once present is no longer present.

Jesus said to me, "Because you were willing to receive love, this will enable you to perform miracles"!

This clued me into something else. "It is the privilege of the forgiven to forgive" - ACIM .... i.e., if you have reasons to believe that YOU do not deserve healing, that YOU are sinful, that YOU really did something bad that proves you aren't lovable, then YOU will not be WILLING to receive healing for yourself. Your unwillingness to allow yourself to be forgiven means that you will not allow yourself to receive the miracle on behalf of someone else. Therefore this will prevent you from performing miracles!

When you can therefore become healed and willing to receive God's love, to receive the Atonement, to recognize you are WORTHY, this WILLINGNESS for healing now opens up the doors to allow you to be willing to heal others. Before this you would be fighting against your own belief that healing should not occur, because your belief in your own sinfulness blocks your belief that the other person deserves healing either.

This reveals a simple truth. There is no real sin! Sin is not REAL. You have not REALLY done anything wrong. You deserve God's love because you HAVE NOT really sinned. Whatever you did was an ILLUSION, not a reality. THANK FUCKING GOD FOR THAT!

God is aware that we are sleeping because he is also aware that we are not properly communicating with him. That's why he created the Holy Spirit. He couldn't and wouldn't have created the Holy Spirit without KNOWING that there was a need for it.

He may not make the world real or interact with it personally but the Holy Spirit is there as "part of God" as well, to bridge the gap between God's reality and the part of our minds that are temporarily having faulty beliefs ie in the dark. Holy Spirit is the one who is equipped with an ability to perceive AND know, and can bridge the gap on behalf of God.

He speaks FOR God on his behalf and does the work that God himself would have done. So yes this world is not real and does not really exist, but we can't really just stay God is not aware because then we get into all manner of level confused nonsense about how "God cannot help you" and how the holy spirit cannot enter into the world and so on, which is NOT true. That myth has been spread unfortunately.

The Holy Spirit can USE anything we made for his purposes including he has the ability to heal bodies and do other physical things. He is part of us and part of God and is fully aware of what is needed and how to accomplish it perfectly.

We have not been "left alone and comfortless." God has sent the Holy Spirit on his behalf to do his will and fulfill his desire that the sonship reawaken to their reality. God knew exactly what the perfect solution to the separation was and how to correct it perfectly and guarantee its ending. And he did something about it.

You can see here that God IS very much aware of "the separation" and came up with an answer/response to it, through a creative act of will, which has addressed this issue and will bring guaranteed salvation. That does not sound like a God that just sits there oblivious and couldn't give a crap about what his children are going through, or a God that cannot reach his children even in their states of madness to help them. God loves you no matter where you are and he has PROVEN it by creating the Holy Spirit to lead you home.

"What God DOES know is that His communication channels are not open to Him, so that He cannot impart His joy and know that His Children are wholly joyous. This is an ongoing process, not in time, but in eternity. God's extending outward, though not His completeness, was blocked when the Sonship does not communicate with Him as one. So He thought, "My Children sleep, and must be awakened." UrT6F2

"Perception is not an attribute of God. His is the realm of knowledge. Yet He has created the Holy Spirit as the Mediator between perception and knowledge. Without this link with God, perception would have replaced knowledge forever in your minds. With this link with God, perception will become so changed and purified that it will lead to knowledge. That is its function as the Holy Spirit sees it. Therefore, that is its function in truth." W43L1

"The Holy Spirit was God's answer to the separation, the means by which the Atonement could repair until the whole mind returned to creating. The Atonement and the separation began at the same time. When man made the ego, God placed in him the call of joy. This call is so strong that the ego always dissolves at its sound." UrT5C10

"There is another Maker of the world, the simultaneous Corrector of the mad belief that ANYTHING could be established and maintained without some link that kept it still within the Laws of God. NOT as the Law Itself upholds the universe as God created it. But in some form adapted to the need the Son of God believes he has. Corrected error IS the error's end. And thus has God protected still His Son, even in error. There IS another purpose in the world that error made because it has another Maker, Who CAN reconcile its goal with His Creator's Purpose." UrT25D4