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"No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision."

"The miracle is proof he is not bound by loss or suffering in any form, because it can so easily be changed."

"I am in the likeness of my Creator. I cannot suffer I cannot experience loss and I cannot die. I am not a body. Love created me like Itself."

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Grief from a loss can be very, very difficult to deal with. I've personally had to go through a ton of it. 18 years ago I left my home country of England and immigrated to the USA.

This entailed a significant sense of loss in ways I never imagined and was just horrendous to go through producing massive amounts of tears over a span of several years. Some of the losses included:

Loss of family - not being around them or able to be around them, even on holidays. Not being able to travel easily to see them. Not a single member of my family was at our wedding or any other event. Although no-one literally died, it was as though they all had. Actually just even writing that just now has brought me to tears again.

Loss of culture - not being immersed in the culture and not even realizing it was a culture. Being surrounded by a completely alien environment where no-one even speaks your language or sounds like you, where there are no recognizable holidays or shared events, with no familiar social cues, no familiar traditions, sense of dress code, or anything. Top this off by being surrounded by an entire country that celebrates things you have no familiarity with or sense of identification with, and it adds up to even more alienation.

Loss of familiar forms - an entirely different set of foods, brands, products, money, buildings that are completely different in design, traffic laws totally flipped around, extremely different weather, totally different tv shows, clothing, standards, a different style of working, all new holidays, etc. Not to mention the loss of a sense of "home" or belonging or fitting in or being part of anything.

Loss of identity - I assumed that so much of what made me "me" was inherent to me. It was not. It was inherent to the country and culture. Once I was outside of it it brought into question who I even am, what is truly "mine" and what was just something I inherited or assumed as part of "normality". My whole sense of self was shaken to the core and transformed. I grieved even for who I used to be.

Each year various thing would trigger me off. Especially holidays, birthdays, christmas, and even American holidays which were celebrated en masse but which I could not relate to, making me feel deeply left out in a whole other way. Christmas was a nightmare. The first sign of decorations or snow or holiday jingles would immediately trigger 2 months of hell. Sometimes I felt powerfully compelled to just run away and get the hell out of here.

What I had to learn, was about what this grief is, what is causing it, and what I can do about it. Besides hundreds of boxes of tissues, accompanying the massive purge of "losses" that I perceived, I tried various things. One thing which did immediately help was EFT (emotional freedom technique) - a form of acupressure, which alleviates emotional pain. It takes the edge off and offers some relief. But I wanted to truly heal this suffering.

What I've learned about grief is that is stems entirely from ego beliefs. Just as the course say, "No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision." Meaning, unless I am doing something to myself, there can be no basis for grief.

Every single sense of grief or loss comes from a perceived "real separation" occurring. Something which seemed real, which is now inaccessible, unavailable, distant, kept apart, or more permanently removed. This can be a loss of a person's life or a country or a pet or a culture or a favorite job or a tv show or whatever.

The ego first values these things by making them special, making them real, attaching to them, identifying with them, and believing they are important. Then, when one of these things is "lost" or separated from us, we literally are experiencing this idea that we're separated from reality, from what we "love", from what we think is valuable or important. This produces a rift within our mind, a split, and it can be very deep.

This sense of "real separation happening" is absolutely nothing short of a reflection or fragment of the idea of being separated from God. Every "loss" is the idea that God has been lost. That love has gone away. This produces horrendous feelings of lack, emptiness, depression, sadness, loss, loneliness, hurt, anger, fear, guilt, shame, you name it.

Additionally, in the ego thought system there is an idea of sacrifice. Sacrifice means that you first of all make something real or valuable or special, and then you believe that in order to atone you have to forceably be deprived of it, even while you still value it, which *guarantees* that you will suffer a sense of having lost something important to you. It is the idea that if you lose i.e. sacrifice something, you will gain something. The ego is totally nuts.

Even giving something to someone else through the ego and perceiving it as you being diminished or lacking or losing in some way, is the exact same dynamic which all grief is based on. And your reaction to it will be varying degrees of a sense of loss. It may not be a deep deep grief when you begrudgingly give up something you liked, but it's still the same dynamic.

I've found over time that all of my grief stems from my false perception. i.e., it ENTIRELY erupts out of the perception that a "real separation" has occurred. There is no other cause of it. It is not really about "oh I miss that person" or "oh I lost that job I loved" or "oh I don't have my family any more". These are mere forms of the same basic content of separation. It is the sense of having lost something you are attached to or which is special to you, i.e. fake reality, that produces the ego responses of grief.

I have also found, that even if I am deep in feelings of grief and it becomes possible to reclaim or get back or visit people or things which were "lost", this still does not in any way fix the grief. It is my own perception of real separation which causes the upset and until that is undone, as a false belief, I can still be in the presence of the very people or things I lost and still feel a loss. All loss is an inside job.

The grieving is actually taking place INSIDE my mind, between one part of myself that I made special and another part which has lost it. I've seen that my grieving is entirely selfish and about myself, and never really about anything outside of me. This has also taught me that e.g. returning home or going back to family will NOT resolve the problem of grieving, and through my own experience it never has. For the ego it's a fake promise of salvation.

I've also found therefore that any grief that I am having is entirely due to my own beliefs, my own choices, my own perceptions, my own attitude, and what I choose to perceive. If I choose to believe death is real, I WILL automatically be very upset when someone dies. If I choose to make someone special or attach to them or "need" them, I will AUTOMATICALLY grieve whether I like it or not when they are taken away. I set myself up for loss every time that I try to take possession of something or depend on it too heavily or make it special or considering it more exclusively valuable or conditional. And so, I literally do this to myself.

Every ego attempt to make something special, to "have it" or value it or attach to it or believe in it (ego beliefs) or possess it or need it, will AUTOMATICALLY bring with it the conditions for its INEVITABLE LOSS. It is a total trap. You literally are signing up for LOSS, when you sign up for "getting".

The truth is, no-one needs to grieve, no-one is supposed to be experiencing loss, no-one is supposed to be crying or unhappy, no-one is supposed to spend 50 years getting over the loss of a parent or child, no-one is supposed to be SUFFERING like this. Without using ACIM whatsoever, and just fudging our way through this stuff, we will take however long it takes to cry and cathartic and remember and try to keep them alive etc...ie reluctantly letting go. Without any other tools, most people spend years dealign with deep losses.

And then there is another camp of people who are so level-confused that they'll try to force you to just "get over it" or repress it or censor it or not feel any feelings or never cry or bypass it with ACIM pleasantries like "it never happened" etc. For most people, they HAVE to go through a "grieving process" because its the only way they have to heal the ACTUAL problem, which is a sense of separation from God. And that is the ONLY problem, even in the case of grief, and even in the case of death.

If a person is having such a deep emotional pain, there is nothing helpful in repressing it or trying to ignore it or not letting it out or trying not to cry or to shove it down in some way to pretend it's not there. Feelings, once they are created, MUST be felt and allowed to flow. And usually the sense of loss is so deep that it simply generates a ton of feelings. They must be felt, not turned into emotional constipation. But that said.... tentatively.... there must be a better way, and there is.

Tackling the real issue, which is a sense of "real separation" or "real loss" or "real sacrifice" or "real absence", which is a BELIEF in your mind that has nothing to do with the world or other people, there is much more HOPE for a swifter recovery. What a person has "suffered" in a "loss" is really that they are suffering from a false perception of reality (God) being lost permanently, as though completely real. It is very, very convincing to the ego, and it produces just horrendous depths of unhappiness.

But this separation, this loss, it can be healed. And it can be SIGNIFICANTLY undone if not entirely, through applications of ACIM principles. i.e. forgiveness, seeing the truth, unearthing the lies about "justified grief" or "everyone grieves" or "loss is normal after death" or whatever else... stuff that well-meaning psychiatrists have made up to explain why most ego-driven people suffer. Jesus has a different message: "You need not suffer."

It is ONLY a perception of real separation that produces grief or loss, ever. There is no other cause. And perception CAN be healed because beliefs CAN be changed. It is NOT necessary to have terrible grief. It is NOT necessary to have a deep, bottomless pit of misery for years and years. It is NOT necessary to feel like you lost part of yourself forever and ever. It is NOT necessary to feel hurt and angry and abandoned and upset for the rest of your life. There is nothing that cannot be healed.

For me now, every single year my "christmas grief" has dwindled at a rapid rate, since doing the course. This years was the least upset I've ever been. Triggers have been collapsed. Ideas of real loss undone. A sense of major separation significantly reduced. Tears have dwindled. It's not simply been through years of suffering and tears or "normal grieving process". It's because I apply forgiveness principles to what I am experiencing. In the middle of a moment of grief, if I can even remember that "I am not separate from God", and that this grief is about that... it immediately cuts through it like a knife.

Grieving can be a very long term process for many people, me included, but it does not HAVE to be. There is no requirement in God's Creation that anyone be upset for any reason. There is no justification for unhappiness. There is no rational for why it's "normal" to be seriously upset about anything. The Course is offering us the END of all death, all suffering, all sickness, and all grieving. To restore us to life, to happiness, to joy, to freedom, to liberation from all sad feelings and all sense of God being dead.

You need not suffer. What can you possibly grieve for but the belief in separation from God, which is not real? There has been no loss. Separation has not happened. God is alive and well and loves you. What's to be grieving about in truth?

When you see yourself as lacking in some way, whether it be that you're tired and spent, nothing left to give, stressed out, overwhelmed or whatever, you'll see yourself as "in need".

The world will now start to appear to you as being needy. It will seem other people are being needy and trying to take from you. That they are being selfish. They seem to demand attention and want something from you and you seem not to be able to give it, because you think you don't have it.

And so then you'll become angry and crabby, because why the hell are these insensitive selfish people demanding my energy when I don't have enough for myself?

But people will appear this way only because you're actually seeing yourself this way. By believing you are lacking, YOU are being needy, and woe betide that anyone else be needy at the same time.

Now, in your neediness, you are seeing yourself as needing to TAKE from them in order to fulfill your lack. And if they too are being needy, they are trying to take from you. And this produces a sucking inward on both your parts, which is a withdrawal on both your parts, which is producing a gap of separation between you and increasing the war.

In neediness we'll blame other people easily for seeming to be "so needy right now", so insensitive to your plight and so oblivious to your lack. How could they not recognize that you're the one who needs?

Instead of admitting that you want THEM To fulfill your needs, in an unspoken way, you are now angry that your hidden desire to be served is not being attended to by them. They seem not to be following through in supporting you. And now they're being all "me me me" at the exact wrong time.

Thus your desire to have others fulfill your needs, which is all part of your perception that you are lacking, becomes projected or mapped onto them as if THEY are the ones who are being needy and taking selfishly, and not you. You thus deny your neediness and pretend not to be needy, yet are still upset by their lack of supply.

What needs to happen is YOU need to move into the state where you do not have needs any more. And at first this will appear to mean you need to "get" your needs met. Typically by others or some external salvation or pleasure. But so long as the dynamic of perceiving yourself lacking is maintained, you'll expect that what someone or something else does TO you, for you, is the only way that your needs are going to be met.

This needs to be moved beyond, so that you realize the only reason you think you NEED them at all, is because you are seeing yourself as lacking. Perhaps your own perception of yourself as lacking is the real issue here. And maybe if you would not see yourself as lacking, you'd see yourself as whole and complete, needing nothing, therefore having everything to give.

And so there is the key. When you are needy, it's because you do not want to give. You are in need because you are unwilling to give. You are in need because you don't want to give to others what you yourself need to receive. And yet the only way TO receive it is to give it. The ego says, no, if you give, you're going to lack. Spirit says, if you give, you will be supplied.

And so as you step out in faith to give even more, strangely suddenly you find your needs are being met. Maybe your tiredness suddenly vanishes. Maybe your stress melts. Because you decided to adopt the role of doing God's will and loving instead of attacking yourself.

As you say, hey, I'm going to put Spirit first and act as if I have everything, Heaven comes in to support you and gives you strength. A willingness to put aside your needs in the trust that Spirit will back you up and give you the strength to go on, you might be surprised at the supernatural effect of all your limitations melting away.

A miracle worker is not in need because they recognize God is their supply, His strength is their own, and they cannot be lacking when they are doing His work. Unplugging yourself from Him is the only cause of a sense of lack in the first place. Is it the many forms of needs that you need to meet, such as food or energy or sleep, or is it God that you need?

If all states of neediness are really the absence of God or love, then the presence of God or love will fulfill the lack and remove the need. Or in essence, you cannot exist without God. You need nothing when you have everything. Open up to receive God's support and all your separate little made-up needs fall away. His light is all that's missing. Without it you ARE in lack. But with it you have the power to live forever.

"He seems to be whatever meets the needs you think you have. But He is not deceived when you perceive your self entrapped in needs you do not have."

God thinks in a holographic way, in that God who is whole can only wholly create whole beings who are themselves whole. And yet these whole beings must inherit and share their wholeness with their creator and with each other, because there is only one whole. This produces a dynamic in which many parts are themselves whole because they share and inherit their wholeness with the rest. God thus has many whole children who are part of Him and inherit all of Him, and who are co-creators with Him and with each other.

"The recognition of the part as whole, and of the whole in every part, is perfectly natural. For it is the way GOD thinks, and what is natural to Him, IS natural to you."

What this then means is that God uses His mind to create additional minds which are, while whole minds in and of themselves, share a single mind. This singular mind is the Christ mind which is also their shared identity, and yet while being wholly Christ they are also simutaneously many individual souls. And each one of them has everything.

"You had everything when you were created, just as everyone did.""One brother is all brothers. Every mind contains all minds, for every mind is one. Such is the truth."

Literally and without limitation or exception, you ARE ALL of your brothers. And EACH individual one of them, is themselves, and are also ALL of you. And together you are the Sonship, and in union you are the One Son, Christ.

Oneness does not ONLY mean that there is only one mind. Oneness does not ONLY mean that there are many separate minds who stay separate. Oneness means the many minds are one mind AND yet still many minds. Because this is how it works in a holographic system - which is the thought system of God.

The natural conclusion is therefore. ... every other person IS you, and you ARE them, and you are IN them, and you SHARE everything with everyone. You are literally IN their mind, and their mind literally IS your mind. And yet, at the same time, you have your own mind, because you have your own soul. That you can be fully yourself, and that this entails being also simultaneously fully all others, is miraculous.

"We are the Kingdom, WE, the Sons of God."

"The Kingdom of Heaven IS you."

To recognize a shared interest requires that you recognize your brother - who temporarily seems to be in a body, is LITERALLY your shared self. If you were to recognize they are you, or part of you, your "interests" would be to look out for THEIR best interests as well as your own, and that it would serve you to support what is only in BOTH your best interests.

If they are you, it serves both your interests that you not attack yourself OR them, otherwise you are attacking both, and therefore yourself. This is where you begin to live by the Golden Rule, that the truth is the same for both of you. And it is by recognizing that they are literally one with you, that it becomes obvious that there is no sense in anything other than loving them.

As soon as a person recognizes in some way that other people ARE themselves, by which I do not mean there is ONLY you, but that we have a collective mind, in which you are you and they are them and yet you are both each other, this is the beginning of being a Teacher of God. It means that your mind is willing to transcend separation and recognize some degree of oneness with another, which is a unifying light, and therefore reflects God.

"A teacher of God is anyone who chooses to be one. His qualifications consist solely in this; somehow, somewhere he has made a deliberate choice in which he did not see his interests as apart from someone else's. Once he has done that, his road is established and his direction is sure. A light has entered the darkness.It may be a single light, but that is enough. He has entered an agreement with God even if he does not yet believe in Him. He has become a bringer of salvation. He has become a teacher of God."

It is wrong to merely say, "My brother is myself", as if to say that there is ONLY you. This is an ego standpoint. It also blinds you to the free will of others. It is also wrong to say "Me and my brother are SEPARATE". This also is an ego viewpoint, in which we are two and NOT one. Neither of these viewpoints are true and neither reflects God. What reflects God is what reflects His holographic nature, in which your brother IS you, and yet, they also have their own soul. Where it is simultaneously true, that you have a self with free will, and yet, you also share everything with other selves.

It's time to start being part of the living hologram of the mind of God. It is the BODY that hides this truth from all of us, acting as a separation device and presenting images of each other as different, unshared and unalike. Bodies are illusions. "What you are cannot be seen nor pictured." But you can know your brother as yourself.

In ACIM there are lessons surrounding the idea that God is my strength. It's a very simple 4-word sentence. But in it you can also see the dynamic of relationship between you and God, in terms of the power that you have.

Specifically, MY strength, IS GOD, AND is myself.

Which means, that within you, there is a strength, which you experience as YOUR strength. But, at the same time, this strength that is in you, could be said to BE God himself. It is not one or the other, it is both.

This is because of the chain of cause effect that happens in creation and extension. When God creates a child he doesn't just deposit a new thing in an environment. He doesn't walk away and leave it alone. He doesn't disconnect from it unbilically.

Instead, He extends himself out and shares himself, RETAINING his thought in his mind, keeping his creation WITHIN his being, and the two are one, shared. Which means that God does not let you go, or disconnect from you, and you effectively don't leave the womb.

Therefore you kind of have God embedded in you still.

Therefore, anything you have, is indeed truly YOURS, because it is fully given to you and fully shared without conditions. But at the same time, it is fully GOD's, because he gives it to you not by losing it but by SHARING it. You overlap and share the same space, and everything there belongs to both of you.

So now the strength you have in you is yours, AND it is God's. The power that is in you, which makes you ALL POWERFUL, is God's power.

It is also not appropriate to suggest that the power that is in you is ONLY God's power. Nor that ONLY God wields that power. Or that only God does anything. This is the flipside of further ego thinking that God and you are separate.

The power that is in you is indeed HIS power, and He is all powerful, as well. But this power IS also yours. And his. At the same time. Together you SHARE the same power.

Power MUST be shared to BE power. It does not belong ONLY to you. But this also doesn't mean it DOESN'T belong to you, ONLY to God.

God has given it to you fully to use AS YOUR OWN, and freely. But only provided that you use it WITH everyone AS everyone. Everyone has the same power because everyone was created BY and WITH power.

It's tricky to understand because our mind wants to separate things off and assign ownership to one and not another. Our power is God's AND ours. We as children of God ARE all powerful. There is nothing WE cannot do. We do it WITH GOD. We AND God are all powerful.

But without God, if you take God out of it, you end up with NO power, because HE has all power. Without him you have NO power. With him, you BOTH have power. Without God you have nothing. With God you have everything.

God AND Christ are all-powerful. Jesus acknowledged God as the source of his own power, giving God FULL credit for the power, because he knew the power did not COME FROM himself. But this did NOT mean that Jesus had NO power, because he had inherited ALL power from God, and so WAS and IS extremely powerful.

"I am not helpless but all powerful."

"YOU did not make this power any more than I did. It was created to BE shared, and therefore cannot be meaningfully perceived as BELONGING to anyone AT THE EXPENSE of another. "

"My Father gives all power unto me"

"Your Will can do all things in me, and then extend to all the world as well through me. There is no limit on Your will. And so all power has been given to Your Son."

"You are part of Him who IS all power and glory, and are therefore as unlimited as He is."

"God has one Son, and he is the resurrection and the life. His will is done because all power is given him in Heaven and on earth."

"To say, "Of myself I can do nothing" is to gain all power. And yet it is but a seeming paradox. As God created you, you have all power."

"All power in Heaven and earth is therefore given him and he will share it with you when you have completed yours."

"By teaching the power of the Kingdom of God Himself, He teaches you that ALL POWER IS YOURS."

"All power is given you in earth and Heaven. There is nothing that you cannot do."

"Knowledge is power, and all power is of God. You who have tried to keep power for yourselves, have lost it. You still HAVE the power, but you have interposed so much between it and your AWARENESS of it, that you cannot use it."

"He understands all power in earth and Heaven belongs to him because of who he is."

"They will always be treasured by God, because they belong to His Beloved Sons who belong to Him. All power and glory are yours because the Kingdom is His."

"My mind will always be like yours, because we were created as equals. It was only my DECISION that gave me all power in Heaven and earth."

"But the truth is very simple; ALL POWER IS OF GOD. What is NOT of Him has no power to do ANYTHING."

"Sickness is idolatry, because it is the belief that POWER CAN BE TAKEN FROM YOU. But this is impossible, because you are part of God, Who IS all power."

If there is fear in you, and if you are projecting it outward, you will project it onto specific things. This is because fear is divisive and not whole, so it attaches to PARTS OF the environment. And in particular it can project onto a specific body.

When fear is projected, another's body is seen in a very isolating way. Fear distorts perception heavily and anchors you into the physical. It then seems that only the physical exists, only the physical rules apply, only physical causation is real, and there is no escape from anything.

By making your brother's body his "reality", focusing on its condition or form or appearance, projecting fear onto it, you turn it into an enemy. You give it power over you. Your whole awareness sinks into the ego and you can find no way out.

As the body is given reality, which is very easy to do when you are afraid, your whole focus shuts out the mind and awareness of any higher truth. And now you feel like you are completely imprisoned and held captive by this "sinful body" you see. Like you are locked in and completely at its effect. Anything it does, or doesn't do, now seems to completely affect you against your will, as if you have no ability to stop it or do anything about it. If the person has a sickness or problem and cannot fix it, or isn't trying to, you will now feel like they are imposing limits on you and forcing you to suffer.

Seeing yourself as a victim of this dynamic, already deep in fear with nowhere to turn, everything now seems like a closed system. Having bound your brother to his body, imprisoning him, you see yourself as imprisoned. And now your brother's body seems to be attacking you. This incites reactions of even more fear, which turns into anger and rage, justified due to what he seems to be doing to you.

It will now feel like there is nothing you can do to be free, as if your mind is somehow locked onto their body state, as if you have merged with it and are kind of one with their body. You will feel exposed to it and completely vulnerable to it, as if you have opened up a conduit or bridge, a cord that has bound you to it. Its every move seems to dictate your suffering, and you cannot seem to be free unless the other person changes. And now you will demand they change, rather than look at the fact you are projecting fear.

This really is the ego's version of "forgiveness to destroy" taken to the extreme. The projection of fear blinds you to stepping back or looking into your mind, seeing yourself as doing anything to yourself. It warps your perception and turns it inside out. Cause and effect are backwards and you see yourself as completely victimized. The more you go into it the more you lose sight of the fact that you have any power or are choosing any of this.

Your whole sense of peace then seems to completely "depend" on the other person. If their body has any issue at all, you'll blow it out of proportion and see it as a threat and a danger. And how dare they not resolve it for your benefit. The only way out of this is to stop projecting fear, look at the fear within you, heal it and return to love.

True forgiveness is needed, and you must be clear that fear really is an attempt to attack. "The fearful are apt to be vicious." Viciousness comes out when you are afraid. And by attacking, you will see another as attacking you. And having attacked them by seeing them as only a body, you will see their body as attacking you. Just even by sitting there in its condition, it is experienced as a threat, because you have threatened it, having threatened yourself.

Fear is really part of your self-attack, resulting from guilt, resulting from a belief in sin. Your own sinlessness is the key to salvation and to removing the basis for fear. There is nothing to fear because only love is real.

"It seems to be the body we feel limits our freedom, makes us suffer and at last puts out our life. Yet bodies are but symbols of a concrete form of fear."

"But fear attaches to specifics, being false."

"Bodies attack, but minds do not." "This is the reason bodies easily become fear's symbols."

"The body is the target for attack, for no one thinks he hates a mind."

"When hatred rests upon a thing, it calls for death as surely as God's Voice proclaims there is no death. Fear is insatiable, consuming everything its eyes behold; seeing itself in everything; compelled to turn upon itself and to destroy."

"Who sees a brother as a body sees him as fear's symbol. And he will attack because what he beholds is his own fear external to himself, poised to attack, and howling to unite with him again. Mistake not the intensity of rage projected fear must spawn. It shrieks in wrath, and claws the air in frantic hope it can reach to its maker and devour him."

One thing people in the world don't realize, is that when you make one part of the world 'special', it HAS to make other parts of the world rejected.

So if I say, I really love Mac computers, it tends to make me feel that I dislike PC's. Or if I say, I like sporty-looking cars, it tends to make me believe that other cars are 'uglier'. Or if I say, I like the summer, it tends to make me feel antagonistic toward winter.

We do this every day, but we just don't really realize how we are actually *creating* the enemies that we despise, indirectly, by elevating various other things to special/hero/idol-worshipped status.

If I worship an idol and put something on a pedestal and believe it is my savior, that's all well and good but I don't realize that simultaneously I've created a nemesis somewhere else. It may not even seem to be in my conscious awareness, but I can't MAKE something an idol without using a tool of attack on everything the idol is not.

So people are going around for example trying to be good, trying to people please, trying to have the right behavior, trying to choose the right political candidate, trying to be in love with a special something, trying to save a special group of individuals, trying to stand up for some kind of social justice, or trying to eat the right foods etc. And what does this do?

What happens in the mind when we say "only this part of the world is acceptable?". We reject the rest of it, which is an act of denial, which is an attack, which throws all kinds of darkness and secret hate onto the 'rest' of the world. And since this is all really about the MIND, it basically creates an unconscious mind filled with everything we don't want.

And then this unconscious mind turns around and projects into the world and manifests as enemies, examples of what we hate, examples of the kind of people we think are sinners, examples of behaviors and actions that we consider not allowed, etc. And the more we try to really intensely focus on what is 'right', we inadvertently keep CREATING what is 'wrong' and reinforcing it.

Then all this extra wrong stuff shows up in the world and we hate it more and try to separate from it more, which is secretly an ego ploy to reinforce and keep it. We go on our crusade and blow our trumpet in defense of 'all that is good' which is exactly what actually creates and manifests 'all that is bad'.

If we're not being neutral, if we're attached to outcomes, it we're judging something as right or wrong, if we're invested in seeing a certain thing be kept while other things are destroyed, we just keep creating a greater TENSION between 'right and wrong' rather than actually undoing what's wrong. And this tension grows the more we try to separate from what's 'wrong', because the pursuit of what's 'right' ISN'T a pursuit of the truth - its a pursuit of one-sidedness and is a spiritualizing of the world.

So everyone's on this ego rollercoaster of chasing after what they have decided means 'right' and 'correct' and 'not sinful' and not realizing that this is directly and explicitly creating even more of the stuff they are trying to get away from. Because all that they're really doing is trying to escape from, deny, and shut out, everything they consider bad. You can't have a happy life by being in FUCKING DENIAL!

The world is neutral. It's we who give it all the meaning it has and label it with all our made-up labels of 'oh that's ok' and 'oh thats not ok'. And this constant effort to separate out the ok from the not-ok is just more ego separation which leads to war, hate, anger, and attack. It does not WORK. And it does not lead to progress. If you want the kind of progress where you create a world where everything is only 'good' and nothing 'bad' happens, you will never attain it, because the very desire to do so is a desire to DENY that 'bad' exists and therefore create it. And so the world is spinning its wheels. Isn't it horrifying to realize that YOU are creating the very enemies that you hate the most, and that you will keep doing so while you keep trying to reject a part of yourself?

Have you ever had a dream at night where you're being chased by someone and you're running away in fear and you just can't seem to get away, and the more you run away or fight with the person the stronger and more adamant they seem to become? This is exactly this dynamic, because the person chasing you is YOURSELF who is only appearing as an attacker because you keep rejecting yourself. In your dreams, when you stop running, and you surrender, and you do what the ego would say is 'letting yourself be caught', the person stops chasing you, and they stop attacking you, and all of a sudden you are friends. How about that?

We have to become able to ACCEPT and ALLOW everything. Not split it out and say one part is ok and one part isn't. This is true equality. This is a value worth pursuing. Unconditional love, not conditional love. Not a love that's only given to friends and not enemies. Not a love that, in being given only to friends, turns everyone else INTO an enemy, for the sake of being able to reject them further.

What would Jesus do? He would overlook all sin and recognize the innocence and equality of everyone.

Ok.. stepping off the righteous soap-box for now.

Ok so.... weird as this will sound... when Holy Spirit does healing with me, it usually entails significant shaking of the body and also movement of body parts. Usually it entails the movement of my head into some kind of seemingly random sequence of positions.

There will be involuntary movements of the arms and legs, tensing of various muscles, vibrations, sometimes quite rapid and intense alternations from side to side, etc.

This morning after He'd done some healing for a while, which involved the movement of my head, I asked Holy Spirit if he could deliberately move my head. After a couple seconds, vibrations/shaking began and my head moved to the right.

I said ok, now move it all the way to the left. After a few seconds, the vibrations/shaking started and my head moved all the way to the left.

Then I said ok, move it to the middle. After a few seconds, the vibrations/shaking started and my head centered. I then asked and received Him moving it again to the left.

Then I thought ok, to finish off, let's move it all the way to the right. This one took several seconds before it began perhaps because I thought that, for me, this would really prove that He was moving my body. And the the vibrations/shaking started, and He moved my head all the way to the right.

Ok... so... pretty interesting. Even though I'd been used to Him moving my body around as part of healing, I hadn't really thought before to ask if He can cause it to move on purpose outside of the healing mode.

So I took it further.

I said to Him ok, can you raise my arm? After a few moments, vibrations/shaking began in my arm, muscles began to tense, and my arm raised up off the bed to over my head.

I said ok, and put it back down again. So he did.

And then I said ok, can you make it point? After a few moments vibrations/shaking again began and muscles tensed and in a somewhat shaky way, he moved it into an outreached "finger pointing" posture.

I thought ok. This is interesting. Let's do one more thing. So I asked Him to raise my leg. A few moments later, the same vibrations/shaking started in my right foot and travelled up my leg, and then my leg began to raise off the bed. It then returned to the bed.

I know this may sound very weird, because it's supernatural. And it may seem unexplained or frightening to some people. But this is happening because I have trust. And I know it is the Holy Spirit.

These things don't happen in a kind of forceful or overpowering way. They happen because the Holy Spirit has a mind and respects free will and because we hold conversations and have developed trust. And therefore I can ask Him to do things and He will do it. And I can ask Him to stop and He will stop. And I can ask Him to resume and He will resume. We work together. It is a live, conscious, dynamic relationship.

I am endeavoring to take my trust in Holy Spirit and Christ to new levels. I know there is more. I explore and discover and try new things. I experiment. This is the kind of openness you need in order to develop this. You have to be willing and interested in exploring what is possible, without fear.

Somewhere in the urtext Jesus says that some things are on a need-to-know basis and they seem to be kept hidden because you don't need to know. And when you develop a need or desire to know, they become revealed to you. Because you are ready for them.

When you see the manifestations or effects of the Holy Spirit, when you experience Him operating on your physical body, or that or another, you come to trust and recognize that He must exist. That he must be there. Because what is happening is beyond your doing.

And so as you see yourself moved by an unseen spirit force and interact with Him and talk to Him and experience direct real-time cooperative interactions, then you develop the knowing that He is there and He is real and He is powerful and He is working with you. And only by doing this do you come to be aware that He is really there.

"You cannot see the Holy Spirit, ***but you can see His manifestations. And unless you do, you will not realize He is there.*** Miracles are His witnesses, and speak for his Presence. What you cannot see becomes real to you only through the witnesses who speak for it. For you can be AWARE of what you cannot see, and it can become compellingly real to you, ***as its presence becomes manifest THROUGH you.*** Do His work, for you SHARE in His function. As your function in Heaven is creation, so your function on earth is healing. God shares His function with you in Heaven, and the Holy Spirit shares His with you on earth."

God and his Kingdom are a perfect hologram, in which the whole is in every part, and every part is the whole.

But then there was a separation. The separation was an event where we tried to deny the wholeness but keep the parts.

If another name for the wholeness is "non-duality" (or oneness), and another name for the parts is "duality", we tried to keep the duality and reject the non-duality. To "separate off" our selves from God, retaining only our separate selves without sharing anything.

This resulted in what we call seemingly spacetime - the dream of separation - which depicts "exclusive duality" as though it's ONLY duality with no oneness.

In spacetime we have perception. Perception can go to extremes of denial and acceptance of God. In false perception it rejects the oneness entirely, while in true perception it accepts it.

True perception shows you "the real world", which is another way of saying "the world as it is without the distortions of your insanity projected onto it".

This "real world"... has a quality of WHOLENESS. This wholeness is sort of like a dream version of oneness. It is also called the face of Christ. It's like the wholeness aspect of God's divine hologram but in dream form - as a "picture".

So as you reach the real-world level of perception, you're entering into a sort of holographic experience of spacetime. That is, you are accessing a sense of oneness and wholeness and unlimitedness, in which you expand to the size of the universe and seem to contain all of it within you.

In this view, you see that the whole is in every part. Every object's separateness no longer "means" or "tells you" that separation is true. Instead, you see the WHOLE reflected in every part. As though, all of the PICTURE of wholeness is present in every individual object.

This isn't merely the same as waking up and being more alert and seeing the same separate objects head-on with some kind of enhanced alertness. It's a mindset in which you have this greatly expanded wholeness, a sort of reflection of oneness, which is seen to TRANSCEND all boundaries and separations.

This transcendental experience shows you that the REFLECTION of God is in every part and speck of matter ("God is in everything I see"). All of God is pictured "in" every grain of sand. Not simply that God has squeezed himself into one grain, but that he is simultaneously in each and every individual grain, and not in any kind of compromising way either. ALL of him is in EVERY part.

Note however the main difference between the holographic experience of spacetime and heaven, is that heaven is an ACTUAL perfect hologram, whereas spacetime is an IMAGE OF a perfect hologram - a PICTURE. This is why it's also called the FACE of Christ and not Christ itself.

So in our waking up here in/from this world, we should expect to find that the seeming separate differences of objects matter less and mean less. Their forms don't tell us of a hierarchy. All differences become equal and irrelevant. We overlook them, which is forgiveness. And instead of focusing on letting the forms BLIND us to a oneness, we instead see a transcendental oneness pervading the forms and showing that the forms are a way of OBSCURING the hologram.

I have had an experience of God some years ago in which I came to this experience and saw very clearly this exact dynamic, in which the WHOLE was seen in every object, and each part contained ALL of God. And this revealed to me the way that when you focus on the separate objects and forms they OBSCURE the fact that God is all-in-all, and instead present a "broken picture" in which there is NO WHOLE IN ANY PART. And that's the difference between true perception and false perception.

I found a couple of segments in ACIM that speak to this sort of "holographic experience" of the world. Note here when it talks of a "picture" it is saying an image, not the ACTUAL thing but a PICTURE OF it - once removed from it.

"The Holy Spirit's Function is to take the broken picture of the Son of God, and put the pieces into place again. This holy picture, healed entirely, does He hold out to every separate piece that thinks it is a picture IN ITSELF. To each he offers his identity, which the WHOLE picture represents, instead of just a little, broken bit, which he insisted was himself. And when he sees THIS picture, he will RECOGNIZE himself. If you share not your brother's evil dreams, this IS the picture that the miracle will place within the little gap, left clean of all the seeds of sickness and of sin. And here the Father will receive His Son, because His Son was gracious to himself." URT28E7

"I thank you, Father, knowing you will come to close each little gap that lies between the broken pieces of Your holy Son. Your Holiness, complete and perfect, lies in every one of them. And they ARE joined, because what is in one IS in them all. How holy is the smallest grain of sand, when it is recognized as being part of the completed picture of God's Son. The forms the broken pieces seem to take mean nothing. For the Whole is in each one. And every aspect of the Son of God is just the same as every other part. Join not your brother's dream, but join with HIM, and where you join His Son, the Father IS." UrT28E8

Murder, death and suicide are not particularly pleasant topics. But they are an important part of the teachings of ACIM.

The ego's thought system of separation claims that you can do something to another without experiencing any effects. This is due to the separation of cause and effect, which also means, separation of Father (cause) and Son (effect). Another way of putting this is getting away with murder. As Jesus says in the Course, "What is not love is murder."

Following separation from God, "sin" was the original idea of murdering God. It was as if to say, you as the Son of God successfully attacked God, affected Him 100%, have destroyed Him, produced irreversible consequences, and now there is absolutely NO HOPE of ever being forgiven.

Sin is an attempt to completely oppose forgiveness and to establish that you MUST be guilty and punished for your sin. Your sin was so black and white, so terrible, so murderous of an idea, that there is just no way it will be undone or forgiven. You seem to remain, but God is dead. And now you might as well die.

This left you in a terrible state of mind where you saw no hope, no way home, no possibility of healing, and that you basically might as well just die. All justification for living or carrying on or staying alive was blotted out. Death became your ONLY option after that. All dreams of sin DEMAND death and lead to death.

Now, you might think this is just theory. But think about this some more. How many people have died in bodies? How many people commit obvious suicide because they can see no hope and believe they deserve to die? And how many people who die from all other methods or reasons are also committing suicide because, somewhere deep inside of them, they believe they murdered God?

Within the dream, the belief in ego IS a belief in murder. Jesus tells us that all of our ego thoughts are murderous regardless of their form or severity. A little annoyance is as murderous as outright rage. All thoughts of separation are attempts to murder. All ways that we find someone else guilty while we seem innocent is a state of murder.

Billions of people are walking this earth with a DEATH WISH. They believe, somewhere in their unconscious mind, that they *deserve to die* because they believe they REALLY DID sin against God - that they really did kill Him. Sooner or later their own unconscious belief that they deserve to die is going to override all others and enforce their punishment.

The "inevitability" of death - this notion that everyone dies and there's no escape, is merely symptomatic of this deeply protected, hidden, secret sin, which everyone is carrying around in their mind. It's buried behind layers of denial and unconsciousness, but it's there. It makes people kill themselves! It ultimately is the ONLY reason, and justification, for why anyone would ever deserve to die, and why anyone would arrange for this to happen to them.

Jesus teaches us, ALL death is suicide. Regardless of how it happens or how long it takes or who does it to whom, it is all suicide. It is all because we have this belief in "real sin" in our mind somewhere. If it is unchecked and unhealed and unforgiven, death is likely going to result.

It is in a way very sad to think of this, but, billions of people keep destroying themselves because they don't realize they have hidden hates and secret sins. They believe they've gotten rid of God and ended up in this stupid world just to hate a while, wither and die. Jesus isn't joking when He says that. This is what most of us are doing here.

If you want eternal life, if you want to LIVE, you're going to have to weed out of your mind every ounce of a belief that you really sinned. Every part of the ego's thought system of death has to go. Every way that you separate out what applies to you from what applies to others, must end. While you continue to use ego and believe ego and keep separation alive, you are continuing to keep the murderous intent of sin against God. And it will justify your death.

I don't mean for this to be guilt inducing or frightening either. I don't mean to "make it real" by talking about it. But if we don't talk about it, people go through the illusory experience of dying, unnecessarily. God wants us to live! God wants us to recognize we are forgiven and DID NOT ACTUALLY KILL GOD. He wants us to see that we were just mistaken for believing we actually pulled this off. We did not really sin, it had no effects, and God is just fine. And he's happy with us, and wants us to be with him in love. He loves us.

For many people, this is no joke. Most will continue to choose to die because they don't believe they are worthy of living. Many will die because they give up the will to live. Many will die because they secretly think they deserve it. Many will die because they have not forgiven themselves for the belief in separation from God. It is an epidemic of suicide.

Then there are people "in the world" who commit what seem to be more obvious acts of murder. They kill people to symbolize what they did to God, then proceed to kill themselves because they can see no hope of escaping the wrath of sin. It is the same dynamic of suicide that all belief in sin produces.

This is not God's will. It is God's will that we have eternal life and never suffer and never die. It is God's will that we be forever happy and innocent and holy. It is God's will that we are immortal and invulnerable and can never be upset or hurt. It is God's will that we LIVE FOREVER. We deserve it, we are worthy of it, God wants it for us, and we need to want it for ourselves. This is important. We have to get rid of this belief in real sin. It is destroying us.

Ultimately this whole thing is illusion. No-one can die, nothing is really happening, and there is no sin. But if you don't want to keep having illusory experiences of death and hopelessness, then forgiveness is in order. "Forgiveness is the way out of hell for you." Recognizing that sin is not true is all it takes. You are not a murderer. You are the innocent child of God.

At the very root of the ego thought system is something extremely simple, which is the foundation of the entire thought system. It's even more fundamental than the idea of sin.

In Heaven, God is the cause of you, and you are the effect of Him. But you attempted to REVERSE THIS. This is THE ONLY PROBLEM IN ALL OF EXISTENCE.

Your belief that you are the cause of God, and that he is the effect of you, is the ENTIRE PROBLEM. This is the authority problem. It is the basis of the idea of sin - which is the idea that you caused God and produced effects in him and therefore defined and changed him against His will.

Absolutely EVERY possible dynamic and situation you find yourself in in life, all your encounters with people, all forms of sickness and suffering, and every possible problem or upset you might experience, are ALL ENTIRELY BASED on the reversal of cause and effect. That is their FOUNDATION.

There is one problem.

And this one problem needs only ONE SOLUTION.

It is a single solution, a single lesson, which applies to EVERY situation no matter the form.

This one problem is ALL that you need to correct. Every forgiveness process, if it works at all, MUST accomplish the correction of CAUSE AND EFFECT. If it doesn't, it is not solving the problem. It doesn't matter what words you use or how you go about this, but ultimately you MUST get the levels back into their divine order. You MUST correct the level confusion and restore God to the rightful position of CAUSE, with you as HIS EFFECT.

Because God caused BOTH you and your brothers EQUALLY, you are BOTH caused by God. This means, a fundamental truth: you are NOT the cause of your brother, and your brother is NOT the cause of you.

Now, the entire ego thought system is based on the belief in cause-effect reversal, and that MEANS that you have a belief that YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF YOUR BROTHER, and that HE IS THE CAUSE OF YOU. This is an ILLUSION. It is the illusion of "horizontal causality". That means, it's the idea of two things on the SAME LEVEL, causing and affecting each other. IT IS NOT TRUE. AT ALL. EVER. ***You can't both be the cause of each other!***

The entire ego world was set up to try to prove and make seem true, the idea of HORIZONTAL CAUSALITY, whereby one thing causes another on the same level. This is built into physical matter. It's built into the laws of physics (chaos). It's built into all egoic encounters with people and problems. They all tempt you to believe that GOD IS NOT THE CAUSE. They are all attempts to shut God (mind) out of the picture and associate mind with FORMS and bodies. This is nothing short of believing that YOUR DREAM IS DREAMING YOU.

This perception, which is false perception, automatically puts you in a position of seeing yourself as a victim. A victim of people, a victim of the world, a victim of the environment, a victim of your body, etc. IF ITS TRUE that there is cause SEPARATE from you in this way, other than God, then you automatically MUST enter a state of threat and danger and fear and attack. This is the basis for justifying all anger. This has to be corrected.

So now it comes down to, "how do I apply the course"? Or, "how do I apply forgiveness"? Well, it boils down to the ONE PROBLEM. If you will just correct ALL FALSE CAUSALITY, which is the idea of horizontal causes and effects, if you will totally CANCEL and UNBELIEVE and WITHDRAW all of those perceptual beliefs in horizontal causes, it will put the cause back into your mind where it belongs.

See, at this level, you are the dreamer of the dream. You are the CAUSE OF THE WORLD. When you perceive or believe that anything IN the world is the CAUSE OF YOU, you have backwards perception and are a victim. The secret of salvation is that you are doing this to yourself. You use the world to attack yourself. If you are not aware that you are the CAUSE of it, that you are dreaming it, you will perceive and believe that the world is hurting you against your will.

So the ONLY FORM OF FORGIVENESS that works and that is needed, is to GET THE CAUSALITY RIGHT. To remember that you are the dreamer of the dream, not the other way around. That there is NO CAUSE in the world. That the world is the EFFECT of your dreaming mind. That means your brother in no way causes you whatsoever. And it also means you in no way cause your brother whatsoever. It also includes realizing your body does not cause you against your will. Your mind has power over the whole universe. "My self is ruler of the universe."

It's quite simple really. Just get the levels back into their proper order. This corrects all level confusion, magic, victimhood and even death. You are the cause of this dream. You have to OWN RESPONSIBILITY for being the cause of EVERYTHING you are experiencing and making happen. This is the only way out of hell. The ONLY WAY to escape victimhood and death by realizing that.... if you do not CHOOSE TO DIE, IT CANNOT HAPPEN. "No one dies without their own consent."

This is what "forgiving" is all about. Own the causality. This is a course in cause, not effect. YOU ARE 100% CAUSAL. You are 0% AFFECTED by what you've caused/made. You are the projector of the world. Projection makes perception. Once you own full responsibility for causing/dreaming, the world can do NOTHING to you against your will. This is how you overcome death and reach resurrection. And in that state you cannot be attacked, victimized, hurt, or suffer in any way. It is literally the end of all suffering because it is THE END OF THE WORLD.

A Course in Miracles - Urtext material - reproduced with permission from the Foundation for Inner Peace (acim.org), and the Foundation for A Course in Miracles (facim.org).
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