If you see yourself as being victimised in any way, mistreated, not respected, attacked, hurt, threatened, judged, abused, terrorised, not recognised, hated, left out, invalidated, accused, misrepresented, subject to racism or sexism or homophobia, in any other way somehow slighted or offended by anyone OTHER than yourself, they your ego has formed a FACE OF INNOCENCE, and you ARE in heavy denial!
This face of innocence is a facade the ego wears to DENY AND COVER UP the internal guilt, to hide itself from itself in self-hate. The internal guilt is denied, so that it is not even recognised as existing at all within you, and is then projected. It is then seen IN AND AS everyone else other than oneself. It then appears that everyone but yourself is doing something TO YOU against your will that is un-asked for and undeserved.
This projection of guilt and ego frames you as an innocent victim of it in OTHER people, which in turn justifies an angry counter-response - since you see yourself as doing absolutely nothing wrong at all, which points a further finger - a second layer of projection - designed to hide the first, to further reinforce the ways that other people have obviously sinned, been guilty, committed evil acts, failed to live up to standards, or any other way that they are defective.
The "mask" of innocence is worn as a face psychologically, really a disguise, as part of the ego. And it is especially part of the spiritualised ego. Having denied that oneself believes oneself to be guilty - which is still an ongoing internal belief - on sees oneself as "not guilty", and thus innocent. But this is a fake innocence covering up a persistent guilt. The guilt is then projected onto others and associated with them, as though attached to them and part of them.
It is particularly viciously reinforced by an increased level of anger and resentment, as a REACTION to what is now perceived as something other people are doing to you and not you doing to them. The more you feel justified in anger the more you project even more separation and increase the sense of dis-association between you and the guilt. This is designed to make sure it seems that you have nothing to do with the guilt, and it is entirely associated with someone other than yourself. The more this is believed the more unconscious you become as a helpless victim.
What this entails really is self attack, which began long before the projection of guilt. Self and self innocence were denied, producing an accusation against oneself as an attack upon oneself. This is a denial of self as God created you. This is an opinion of oneself - an ego view of oneself - that is far short of the divine holy self that God created you as.
This vicious self-attack produces guilt, inferiority, judgement, self-hate, and various other forms of self destructive behaviour. This is DENIED, which makes it seem largely unconscious or at least disowned and "not part of me". And the result of this is projection. It is given away in order to try to make it not be a part of oneself, or within one's mind. It is seen as "outside" the mind, external to the self (body perimeter), as though literally someone other than oneself, seen as an inherent built-in permanent PART OF someone else. And now it is THEY who are guilty and full of sin.
The result of this is then the formation of a face - a facade - a persona - a cover-up face of innocence, which sees itself AS innocent, but with fake innocence. This fake innocence is shallow and is merely a smokescreen to hide the self-hate that is behind it. Thus self-denying person then believes they are doing no wrong, asking for no harm, doing nothing to hurt others, and are completely benevolent, yet conveniently also are experiencing being "unfairly treated" as a victim. And this of course, if it were true, means anger is completely justified and everyone else should die for THEIR sins against the innocence.
The fact is however that this still remains a SELF ATTACK, because the mind is still hating itself, still believes it is guilty, does not want to admit to this, is IN DENIAL, and refuses to even look at what is being denied. The unwillingness to look at the denied guilt is because of the belief that IT IS THERE, and that it is dark and real and terrible. And the ego DOES believe that you are full of sin. So instead of looking within, it looks without, to find the guilt there instead.
Once the guilt is denied and projected there forms an extremely long lists of all the sins, errors, guilts, mistakes, faults, weaknesses, defects, horrors, and various other forms of unholiness that are regarded as the truth about OTHER people, and not oneself. And THEIR guilt and sinfulness is kept apart from YOURS, so that you are in no way associated with it, and can maintain an illusion of being the innocent one.
Being subject to an incredibly long list of things other people are doing wrong, and thus attacked and victimised BY, is DESIRED AND CHOSEN, so that the face of innocence can be maintained. Even if it seem to hurt oneself to do so, and even if one has to be willing to BE victimised - or so it may appear on the surface - this is ACCEPTED as the natural cost of being able to find someone else to be the fall guy for the guilt.
We even in the extremes are willing to be attacked, hurt, made to be sick, destroyed and killed off, if it will mean that someone ELSE can be accused of sin. And then we can say, "brother by your hand I die." This means that we literally are willing to suffer, be sick, and die, if it means the sick body can accuse someone ELSE of causing it to be the way it is, so that the mind can be exonerated of the sin IT believes it has committed against self, others and God.
But not for an instant does the guilt leave your own mind, not for an instant does your mind truly become healed of it, not for an instant do you escape what is being denied, not for an instant do your accusations of other people's wrongfulness NOT target you, not for an instant do you escape the murderous consequences, and not for an instant do you get away with NOT being hurt by the projections. Yet alone the fact that you then hurt yourself through other people due to the way that you see them as causing you to be hurt, which you want.
Ultimately this means that this whole mechanism is STILL a way of attacking and destroying yourself, of hurting yourself, and that you are doing this to yourself. This is the secret of salvation. Recognizing that it is YOU who is accusing yourself of guilt, it is YOU who is projecting the guilt, it is YOU who is in denial, it is YOU who does not want to admit to wearing a face of innocence, it is YOU who wants to be a victim, and it is YOU who keeps using people to attack yourself. And not once do you really WANT it to stop, because that would mean having to be more honest, stop scapegoating, look within at the guilt, and undo it. Those who are dissatisfied with OTHERS, are incredibly dissatisfied with THEMSELVES.
"Only the self-accused condemn."
"You but accuse your brother of your own sins."
"Projection will ALWAYS hurt you. It reinforces your belief in your own split mind, and its ONLY purpose is to KEEP THE SEPARATION GOING. It is solely a device of the ego to make you feel DIFFERENT from your brothers and separated FROM them. The ego justifies this on the wholly spurious grounds that it makes you seem better than they are, thus obscuring equality WITH them still further."
And if you think you are not condemning yourself and it is only others that are condemning you, you ESPECIALLY are doing this. Your denial can be very strong and it can make it seem like you are not doing anything wrong AT ALL, that you have never chosen or provoked the slightest attack, and it is entirely everyone ELSE on your list of sins that has failed to measure up to God's standards.
Admitting to all this takes a greater willingness to be honest, to stop attacking yourself, to stop hating yourself, to stop projecting blame onto others, to stop believing that other people are the guilty ones, to stop judging others as the ones with egos, and to be far deeper in the willingness to look at WHAT YOU ARE DENYING. Because only by admitting that you are denying how much YOU hate yourself, are you going to ever stop finding a thousand ways to encourage others to hate you FOR you.
Projection of guilt simply keeps the separation going, and the ego absolutely loves that, as it hides behind its wall of "I'm completely innocent, I'm not doing anything to myself." You are trying to destroy yourself. Look at that! And stop doing it.
"The concept of the self the world would teach is not the thing that it appears to be. For it is made to serve two purposes, but one of which the mind can recognize. The first presents the face of innocence, the aspect acted ON. It is this face that smiles and charms and even seems to love. It searches for companions, and it looks at times with pity on the suffering, and sometimes offers solace. It believes that it is good, within an evil world. This aspect can grow angry, for the world is wicked, and unable to provide the love and shelter innocence deserves. And so this face is often wet with tears, at the injustices the world accords to those who would be generous and good.
This aspect NEVER makes the first attack. But every day a hundred little things make small assaults upon its innocence, provoking it to irritation, and at last to open insult and abuse. The face of innocence the concept of the self so proudly wears can tolerate attack in self-defense, for is it not a well-known fact the world deals harshly with defenseless innocence? No-one who makes a picture of himself omits this face, for he has need of it. The other side he does not want to see. But it is here the learning of the world has set its sights. For it is here the world's reality is set, to see to it the idol lasts.
Beneath the face of innocence there is a lesson that the concept of the self was made to teach. It is a lesson in a terrible displacement, and a fear so devastating that the face which smiles above it must forever look away, lest it perceive the treachery it hides. The lesson teaches this; "I am the thing you made of me, and as you look on me you stand condemned, because of what I am." On this conception of the self the world smiles with approval, for it guarantees the pathways of the world are safely kept, and those who walk on them will not escape.
Here is the central lesson that ensures your brother is condemned eternally. For what YOU are has now become his sin. For this is no forgiveness possible. No longer does it matter what he does, for your accusing finger points to him, unwavering and deadly in its aim. It points to you as well, but this is kept still deeper in the mists below the face of innocence. And in these shrouded vaults are all his sins and yours preserved, and kept in darkness, where they cannot be perceived as errors, which the light would surely show. You can be neither BLAMED for what you are, nor can you CHANGE the things it makes you do. And you are each the symbol of your sins to one another, silently, and yet with ceaseless urgency condemning still your brother for the hated thing you are.
That you are what your brother made of you seems most unlikely. Even if he did, who gave the face of innocence to you? Is this YOUR contribution? Who is, then, the "you" who made it? And who is deceived by all your goodness, and attacks it so? Let us forget the concept's foolishness, and merely think of this; there are two parts to what you think yourself to be. If one was generated by your brother, who was there to make the other? And from whom must something be kept hidden? If the world be evil, there is still no need to hide what YOU are made of. Who is there to see? And what but is attacked could NEED defense?"
You can easily escape into concepts, theories, course quotes as defences, in order to avoid something you don't want to admit to.
Instead of being willing to accept something uncomfortable, you go into denial, and start fighting against the thing with dissociation and intellectual "rising above."
There are things about this world that can be quite unpleasant. Someone dying, the loss of a house, wars raging, people being mis-treated and all that.
We become upset about the thing, not really because of what it is, but because we refuse to accept it. We make something of it, and then we start reacting to what we made of it, and going off on a tangent of a whole new kind of suffering which is even worse than the thing we were avoiding.
Yes nasty things seem to occur. These are kind of like hard facts. In space and time, in physical terms, they happen. Spiritually-minded people love to bypass this and start "attacking it away" with spiritual quote fests, favourite phrases, comments about how its not real, how we're not at the effect of it, and all this. But what this then becomes is avoidance.
If we would stay with the thing and admit to it, stare it in the face, confront it head-on, and be willing to actually look at it, we would be remaining in the present. We would be being honest. We would be not going into denial or trying to cover it up or placate it or make it go away because we don't like it.
And, as it turns out, this present confrontation with the thing helps you to retain your sanity, helps you to not avoid or hide, and helps you to accept it. It's the acceptance of it that actually gives you freedom from it, rather than all these efforts to change it into something, to bypass it spiritually, to move into the intellect, or to sprit the fuck out of it to make it not be there.
For all the time I for example have been dealing with loss over the death of my wife, ACIM has offered a lot of high-level clarity about what it really is, what hasn't actually happened, and all this stuff about how its my belief in it that makes me suffer. A whole lot of metaphysical philosophising and trying to rise above it, to transcend it, to forgive it, to find some peace somehow. But in a way, this has all been a way of avoiding looking at it - a form of denial.
Acceptance is needed in order to be able to let something go and move on. You can't find acceptance by wanting something to change, to be different, to have not happened. You also can't find acceptance by not being willing to admit that the thing HAS happened. It's staring you in the face and practically screaming at you that "this has occurred." On a physical level, IT HAS.
If you avoid this fact, you are putting yourself out of touch with reality. Not that the world is real but the attitude towards this world also in turn becomes your attitude about God. If you avoid an illusion, you avoid God. If you can't look at the world, you can't look at your self. If you hide from changes, you can't embrace changelessness.
So it may be true actually that we find more peace and acceptance through allowing the world to be the way it is, accepting what HAS happened even if that seems to be "making sin real", and even if it seems somehow to be giving the ego a whole lot of credit. What's the alternative, hide from the ego and hurl abuse at it from the mountain top? Or should we own what we've done to ourselves?
ACIM on the one hand is saying things like, "its not real, it hasn't happened, it's not true, the world is a dream, it's all an illusion, nothing is wrong, there is no death" etc. But this is higher level truth. On the physical level there is much that is wrong, and there is death, and people are sick.
Jesus refers to avoiding the "facts" of the world as "a particularly unworthy form of denial." Such as trying to deny that bodies exist. Yes ultimately they don't, but that's not your experience right now. Death does appear to happen. If you deny that you will suffer MORE than if you had accepted it. The person that dies is dead, physically at least. And that has to be acknowledged. No amount of running away from it into the mind's fantasies will undo that fact.
While it is not pleasant, we do have to stop being in denial. We have to stop avoiding what's happened or happening. It's not spiritual, it's a bypass. A mis-use of ACIM's teachings has led me and many people to try living on a cloud in avoidance of the battleground, rather than to take a good hard look at the battleground. It takes some deep soul-searching to admit to this.
We can't get to the "forgiven world" without being willing to look at it through the eyes of Christ. And that does mean looking at it, not looking away from it. It means staring it down. Being aware of all the nasty shit that is happening. Looking at it with Christ so that we translate it into a more tolerable interpretation, NOT as a bypass or an avoidance or a defense or an attempt to put some distance between you and the facts.
"Let all things be exactly as they are."
"The fear of healing arises in the end from an unwillingness to accept the unequivocal fact that healing is necessary. The fear arises because of the necessary willingness to look at what man has done to himself."
"The Separation HAS occurred. To deny this is merely to misuse denial. However, to concentrate on error is merely a further misuse of legitimate psychic mechanisms. The true corrective procedure, which has already been described as the proper use of the spiritual eye (or true vision), is to accept the error temporarily, BUT ONLY as an indication that IMMEDIATE correction is mandatory. This establishes a state of mind in which the Atonement can be accepted without delay."
"Perhaps it will be helpful to remember that no-one can be angry at a fact. It is always an interpretation that gives rise to negative emotions, regardless of their seeming justification by what appear as facts."
"But it is true that the world must be looked at differently, if His promises are to be accepted. What the world is, is but a fact. You cannot choose what this should be. But you can choose how you would see it. Indeed, you must choose this."
"How can a fact be fearful, unless it DISAGREES with what you hold more dear than truth? Reason will tell you that this fact is your RELEASE."
"The body is merely a fact. Its ABILITIES can be, and frequently are, over-evaluated. However, it is almost impossible to deny its existence. Those who do are engaging in a particularly unworthy form of denial."
"What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything which happens, all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good? Perhaps you have misunderstood His plan, for He would never offer pain to you. But your defenses did not let you see His loving blessing shine in every step you ever took. While you made plans for death, He led you gently to Eternal Life."
The ego thought system is a system within the mind. It is not physical. The ego has used its distortion of the law of PROJECTION in order to try to place this content OUTSIDE the mind, which has resulted in what we call the physical world. The purpose of doing this is to deny that the insanity is in the mind, hide it from the mind, block awareness of it being in the mind, dissociate from it, and therefore "believe" that it is no longer inside but outside. This "projects" the insanity and this takes the form of the physical universe/world. An inner belief in sin becomes "the world of bodies is the world of sin".
This physical world then is APPEARS to stand alone, as the only reality. And then we look WITHIN it to try to learn what is causing things to happen. We look at horizontal or linear cause and effect. We look at the properties of materials. We look at the seeming needs of one thing, such as food, supplied by another thing. And we look to medicines and magic to supply health when there seems to be a sickness caused by this very same world.
But all of these "laws" are utterly bullshit and made up, attempting to explain why things in the physical world exist, why and how they function, and how to "live with it". The truth however is that this world is not an end in itself, it does not CONTAIN the very cause that PUTS the world there in the first place, and it is in fact only a SYMBOL OF something removed from it, which preceded it.
The "laws" which project onto the world are the egoic laws or beliefs that projected the world in the first place. It is the MIND that is governing the world, causing what happens, deciding whether sickness and death occur, and choosing what events may arise. And the whole world was made to hide this fact. The cause of all the worlds problems is in the mind that made it.
"You maintain the world IN YOUR MIND, WITH YOUR THOUGHTS." We are not therefore really bound by any of the "within the system" laws that we think run the world. Not one single law of physics is true. Nor of biology or chemistry. Not one aspect of quantum physics or anything to do with matter or energy or space or time. None of these things are what runs the world. None of these things are the laws by which it is governed.
These are just effects in a world projected by an ego mind, disguised to make it seem like the world runs itself. As if the world is a closed system. As if the world is first-hand reality. And to look to this projected world for the cause of anything is insane, given that the entire thing is being caused by the mind. We can set ourselves free from all of these meaningless "laws" - laws of health and diet and abundance and safety and preservation and gravity and medicine and whatever.
We are to therefore first of all purge our mind of all the contents of the ego thought system, all the guilty baggage and fear, and all the level confusion which says the physical world causes anything. So that we stop projecting hallucinations of external causation onto what is, effectively, an inert effect. And then we can project "the real world", recognizing that we are under NO LAWS but God's. Eventually this recognition that ONLY God's laws of mind are real laws, will allow us to go beyond the real world to our natural environment in heaven.
"Think of the freedom in the recognition that you are not bound by all the strange and twisted laws which you have set up to save you. You really think that you would starve unless you have stacks of green paper strips and piles of metal discs. You really think a small round pellet or some fluid pushed into your veins through a sharpened needle will ward off death. You really think you are alone unless another body is with you.
It is insanity that thinks these things. You call them laws, and put them under different names in a long catalogue of rituals that have no use and serve no purpose. You think you must obey the "laws" of medicine, of economics, and of health. Protect the body and you will be saved. These are not laws, but madness."
The secret of salvation tells us that we are doing everything to ourselves, but this is often used only to try to "re-frame" the stuff we thought other people were doing to us. If we open it up, there's a bigger picture here.
It's really actually about our RELATIONSHIP with God and with ourselves and our brothers.
We need to first be clear God is always loving. He does not attack, hurt, damage, threaten, reject, abandon, inflict pain and sickness and death, make anyone afraid, nor does he produce any form of unhappiness. He is continually constantly perfect and holy and innocent and pure and kind.
With that in mind, look then at what you are experiencing in your RELATIONSHIP with God. It is easy in ego to believe that God has abandoned you, God is a dangerous threat, God is out to kill you, God wants revenge etc, because the ego has misinterpreted God and tried to turn him into an evil monster.
The reason for that is that if you can make out that God is the one who DID SIN, and who is responsible for making hell, then you can disown it and hide the fact that He absolutely DID NOT do that. He becomes a convenient scapegoat and decoy to disguise your own sinfulness.
So if we recognize what God really is like, and realize He cannot possibly be the one making our lives hell, upsetting us, making us suffer, etc.... then it must be us. And this is a turning point because now you start to own up to the fact that YOU are the one making your life a living hell.
It's really you that tried to abandon and reject God. It's you that tried to sin against Him. It's you that left Heaven. It's you that threw away everything He gave you. It's you that turned away and sought something more. It's you that is actively pushing Him away. Jesus also says "You attack the real world every second of every day."
Indeed we made an entire world as an attack on God. This world was made as a defense AGAINST God, to shut him out and thus sever our relationship with Him. To hide in form and bodies trying to disguise who and what we are, so that He isn't part of our lives any more. Like holding a major grudge, we wanted nothing to do with Him. We wanted him dead.
It wasn't God that did this. God didn't make an attack planet. He does not attack us WITH the planet or WITH bodies or through sickness and suffering. He is not responsible for wars and murders and all manner of vile things. It's not even remotely His doing at all. God CANNOT do these things, He is utterly incapable of sin, and would never EVER attack you. You are part of Him, and He would be insane if He were to attack Himself.
So you then realize, as clearly as possible, that YOU are the one who has "done this to yourself". You have been hiding from God, rejecting God, abandoning God, attacking God, resisting God, not wanting God, fearing God, trying to make God sick and dead, speaking against God, and trying to live without God. That's your doing, not His, and it's not His will for you.
When you can own that, you can also then decide to choose again. And this is the major theme in the course. You can make a different decision and always be free and capable of returning to a loving relationship with God, in which you share everything and are fully open to Him being in you and with you. God wants that, because from His perspective, He has done nothing but continually love you. And it's just you who has been bearing completely unfounded grudges against Him.
This is why in a sense you need to "forgive God" of what you think He is responsible for, or what you think He "did" (sin), recognizing that He DID NOT do that, and HE is still innocent. But you have to go even further to then also forgive yourself. It's not enough JUST to recognize that God isn't the guilty party. You MUST also undo your own guilt and belief in real sin, that "you really did it, not God."
God knows you have not actually really done anything sinful at all. You have never attacked Him, hurt Him, damaged Him, upset Him, threatened Him, made Him sick or dead, or indeed affected or changed Him even in the tiniest of ways. And the whole authority problem was your attempt to believe you could, or had. Yet you cannot change God, period. Ever. And He still loves you. For-ever.
So His INVITATION, through the Holy Spirit, the "call to return", is merely asking you to come to your senses and accept the truth instead of what you THINK you did to God. Recognize how HE sees you. Recognize and reclaim your innocence. Laugh at the idea that you could ever sin. And thus return to relating TO Him from the same love that He relates to you.
This is what the journey Home is all about. Repairing your sense of a broken relationship with God, and thus with your Self, and with your Divine Brothers. Developing TRUST in Him again, as someone you can have a meaningful and SAFE relationship with. Opening up to re-discovering what He is really LIKE. Opening yourself to RECEIVE every gift that you temporarily shelved, including miracles.
It's a relief to really recognize that the only thing coming between you and God, between you and total happiness and peace and love, is the "hurt relationship" stuff BETWEEN you, that YOU put in place, and YOU can undo. Really, even if you ignore having to deal with other people, or with the body, or the world, the SOLE (soul) issue is your connection with God. First and foremost. And if you seek first the Kingdom of God, the way is made straight. All other relationships will fall into place when you get yourself "right with God."
Love God again. Job done.
When you are afraid, you might think your primary problem is fear - or the causes of it, and that you need to get rid of the fear.
But the fear isn't the real problem.
The real problem is that under the fear is a NEED, and a DESIRE to be afraid. You WANT to be afraid. That's the real problem. Because that's where all your fear is really coming from. You keep choosing it.
So you become distracted by the fear and think it was caused by someone or something else, which keeps you from really looking at the source of the fear. You don't want to look at it. Underneath all fear there is a NEED to be afraid - some kind of choosing that you want, on purpose. Why?
You need to be afraid because of what is BEHIND the need to be afraid - which is the guilt that you're hiding. Fear seems to protect you from guilt. Or more specifically, making up a story about why you need to be afraid helps you cover up guilt and deny it and hide it. Hiding from the decision to be afraid, hides your guilt.
So don't even think that the need to be afraid is the source of your problems, because behind this need there is guilt.
But the guilt isn't the real problem either.
If you look into it, you think the guilt is caused by something outside of you, or that someone (e.g. God) has found you guilty, other than yourself. But really, behind your guilt there is a NEED, and a DESIRE to be guilty. You WANT to be guilty.
Why would you want to be guilty? You want to be in the guilt because by suffering it head-on it allows you to deny and avoid owning up to any kind of choosing of the guilt, any reason why you might be creating it, and hides the fact that you want it. Experiencing guilt as something unwanted, covers up the fact that you DO want it. You don't want to admit that you want it because that would be admitting that you're doing it to yourself.
Generally you don't want to admit that you are the cause of any of this, because your main intention is to hide from God, to repress your identity, to cover up responsibility for choosing, to make believe that stuff can happen on its own that cannot happen, and to succeed in creating an alternative identity that God didn't create.
Yet even behind the fact that you NEED and WANT to be guilty, there is something else. You need guilt because it covers up your sense of sin. If you didn't tell yourself you want guilt, you'd have to face the sin head-on. The need to be guilty is a made-up story that covers the sin, denies it, seems to protect you from it, and puts more distance between you and the fact you are the one choosing.
So if you were to come face to face with sin, you'd probably be horrified about what you believe you have really done, since sin is the idea that you really did separate from God through attack. But even this seemingly horrifying ordeal is yet another layer of cover-up, because underneath the seeming undesirability of sin, is indeed yet another NEED to be sinful, DESIRE to be sinful, and WANTING to be sinful.
You will explain that you have become sinful because God has been affected and therefore you did indeed do something to God and therefore God has deemed you sinful, but this is just another cover-up. It's another story, to try to disown the choice YOU made to pretend to be sinful. You wanted to be sinful, and you made sin, because once again it allowed you to deny who you are, pretend you are not with God, and put more distance between you and reality.
So sin is not even as much of a problem as what came before it, and that is, the need and desire to be sinful. You are making the sin and causing it, not anyone else. But even behind THIS, there is yet another layer - which is the experience of 'pure separation', the idea that you are separate from God. This might seem to have been the first starting point of this whole charade, but it's not. Because behind the idea of separation there is a NEED, and a DESIRE to be separate.
You WANT to be separate. You want to be separate because you're trying to pretend to be not what you are, and you can't do that while you admit to or own up to the immense freedom you have in God. You want to pretend that God cast you out of Heaven but He didn't. You did, or at least, you pretended to. So it was your desire to be separate, that seemed to make you separate.
Always behind what you are currently experiencing, there is some other truth, some other responsibility, some other fact that you are covering up and don't want to admit to. And the whole reason you don't want to admit to any of these layers, is because of your overall, big-picture ambition, of attempting to be separate from God in every way possible. It's your dream, your goal, your ultimate desire, to be so completely devoid of God that you become an individual with your own identity and your own realm to rule over, without God. That was the entire point of your make-believing that such a thing is possible.
Every step of the way, we shift the blame and put the responsibility for choosing onto anyone and anything not ourselves, but since there is nothing not ourselves, we have to pretend that other parts of our own self are against us. That someone 'else' chose this. And that means having a split identity - a split mind. Which is the ego.All along the way we WANT and DESIRE and CHOOSE every single experience of separation, sin, guilt, fear, punishment and death. All of it. None of it is happening to us whatsoever.
Owning up to everything we're doing to ourselves is the way Home.
Here is something that many people will reject as totally bullshit. But if you will consider it carefully you may see that it makes sense.
Your mind is not just inside your body. Your mind is bigger than the universe. The world is inside of it! Therefore your psychological ERRORS have taken the form of PHYSICAL OBJECTS!!!
The physical world is in your mind as a THOUGHT FORM. A physicalization or condensing of the thought of SIN BEING REAL.
"This world is a picture of the crucifixion of God's Son."
Physical objects are literally ***SIN*** contained by your mind!!!
(e.g. "The body is the idea of sin made flesh and projected outwards." "To see a sinless body is impossible.")
Your mind, bigger than the universe, is dreaming of a WORLD, inside of your mind, which is hosted by your mind, and clouds your mind with IMAGINED OBSTRUCTIONS, which manifest as PHYSICAL FORMS, which are thought images WITHIN you.
You made the little body, within your mind, as part of the world that's in your mind, to look AT that world, to look at SIN, as if it's real and not see past it. The body can only see the form of error, and all physical forms represent the idea of sin being "apparently real." You actually perceive the world from the outside in.
You perceive "physical sins" with the body's eyes!!!
When you consider that the world and the body are WITHIN your mind, both of them are ILLUSORY PSYCHOLOGICAL DEVICES your mind is using to hide from reality. You've constructed a dream of deception, within your mind, in the shape of a world, to hide reality. "The world was made as an attack on God."
Your mind - a universe-sized CONTAINER, has invented a world, inside of itself, designed to block THE CONTAINER, from **SEEING THE CONTAINER**. And now the container is seemingly UNAWARE OF ITSELF, asleep and lost in its own IMAGINED WORLD. A dream world.
Physical sight through the body, looking at FORMS (physical objects), is your mind's attempt to NOT LOOK PAST SIN, given that physical objects are SINS within your larger mind.
The eyes fixate on sin and make it real. This is what they were MADE TO DO. If the world seems real, you have MADE SIN REAL and are looking at an ILLUSION, which seems outside your body, but the world and the body are SMALLER THAN YOU. If you believe what the body sees is reality, you are blind and insane. "Nothing so blinding as perception of form."
The body's vision is a device for NOT SEEING THE TRUTH, to blind the mind and keep it from looking PAST ALL PHYSICAL FORMS - which are MIND BLOCKAGES - to reality which lies beyond them.
"The world IS false perception." "The world IS perception." This means you, who are a universe-sized container, are visualizing WITHIN yourself, an entire planet, which is the FORM that "perceiving incorrectly" takes, as a visualization of an UNREAL WORLD, so that you are lost in your own INNER planet-sized dream. The physical world IS your universe-sized mind PERCEIVING!! "Perception is a separated state". You are projecting it!
"Blocks to awareness" include PHYSICAL MATTER. Spacetime itself IS A BELIEF, smaller than your mind, within your mind!
The body has been made as a device IN YOUR MIND to block your VISION. Your mind is HOST to an imaginary world, which it is looking AT, so that it does not look PAST it, to ITSELF.
Your mind, and your correction of perception, is not just taking place within the safe confines of your body-mind, as if trapped in a body and totally confined to "whats inside my body."
Realize instead that your mind is also OUT THERE. Physical matter is a BLOCK. It is an IMAGE in your mind. Not merely an image within your mind in a body. An image in your mind BIGGER THAN THE UNIVERSE. YOU are supposed to LITERALLY see past it in order to be aware of YOURSELF and to look upon CHRIST just as the Holy Spirit does.
When your mind - your universe-sized mind, changes its mind, and starts to use reason to SEE PAST the illusory world, it will stop believing in the dream it's having, and realize it is the dreamer. This will DISAPPEAR THE DREAM, which includes the literally disappearing of ALL PHYSICAL OBJECTS, which ARE ALWAYS FORMS OF ERROR AND SIN.
In the atonement therefore, you have the recognition that THERE IS NO WORLD, because "the world you made" was merely a fictional vision you were holding inside your mind temporarily, while you dreamed, and now the dreaming has ended. THERE IS NO WORLD to block your *awareness* of your SELF, and thus you return to looking ONLY UPON your Christ Self, which is formless and timeless, OUTSIDE OF SPACETIME, which has now ended.
YOU, are the Kingdom of Heaven.
Here is how Jesus puts it:
"SIN IS A BLOCK (to awareness), set like a heavy gate, locked and without a key, across the road to peace. 3 No one who LOOKS ON IT without the help of reason would try to pass it. 4 THE BODY'S EYES BEHOLD IT AS SOLID (yes, your fricking EYES are LOOKING AT SIN) granite, so thick it would be madness to attempt to pass it. 5 Yet reason SEES THROUGH IT (sees through physical matter), because IT IS AN ERROR (all physical matter is an ERROR!). 6 The FORM (physical form) it takes cannot conceal its EMPTINESS (there IS NO PHYSICAL WORLD - IT IS EMPTINESS) from reason's eyes."
"Everything that the body's eyes can see is a mistake, an error in perception" ... "The body's eyes see ONLY form." .... "These eyes, made NOT to see, will NEVER see." .... " See how the body's eyes rest on externals, and cannot go beyond.".... "Watch how they stop at nothingness, unable to go beyond the form to meaning. "
"There is nothing SO BLINDING as PERCEPTION OF FORM (physical matter). For SIGHT OF FORM means ***understanding has been obscured***. Only MISTAKES have different forms (physical objects are mistakes), and so they can deceive (physical objects deceive). You can change form (you can change objects), BECAUSE it is not true (because physical objects are NOT TRUE).
IT COULD NOT BE REALITY (physical matter IS NOT REALITY!), BECAUSE it can be changed. Reason will tell you that, if form is not reality, IT MUST BE AN ILLUSION (physical FORMS ARE ILLUSIONS), and ****IS NOT THERE TO SEE**** - the physical world DOES NOT EXIST - there is no world.). And, if you see it, you MUST BE MISTAKEN, for you are seeing what CAN NOT BE REAL, AS IF IT WERE. What cannot see beyond what is not there, MUST be distorted perception. And must perceive illusions as the truth. Could it, then, RECOGNIZE the truth? "
There is no evil, only the seeming absence of the good.
There is no sin, only the seeming absence of love.
There is no death, only the seeming absence of life.
There is no darkness, only the seeming absence of light.
To take something and suggest that just because it is ABSENT, must mean it is the PRESENCE of something negative, is an error.
Evil does not ASSERT itself and maintain its own existence. It seeming presence ENTIRELY depends on the absence of the good.
Darkness cannot prevent light from shining it away when the light is present.
Death similarly cannot RESIST life. When life is supplied, the appearance of death MUST change to resurrection. Death is nothing more than the seeming absence of life, a lack of love, and when the love returns there cannot be death.
Sin is not a "positive sin". It isn’t an assertion of real attack. It is literally nothing OTHER than the seeming absence of love. A lack of love is not the same thing as an ASSERTION of sinfulness. You don’t have to FILL the lack of love with fire and brimstone, or REPLACE an absence with some other opposite material.
All things illusory ARE simply the appearance of the ABSENCE of something REAL. They are just lack. A lack of love is not a presence of hate. Hate is an illusion of being unloving. Someone who seems evil is just a little bit loving. They could be more loving, but judging that amount of love as the PRESENCE of evil is a failure to overlook illusions.
Every seeming symptom, effect, sign or symbol of the ego, every form of sickness and death, all darkness and attack and murderousness and sinfulness, is not ACTUALLY what it appears to be. It is only the LACK of something. There is a NEED, and the need is a CALL FOR the supply of that need, such as the call for love.
Attack is not attack. It is a request for the lack of safety to be supplied. It’s a request for a reminder of immortality. It’s a need to be reminded that reality cannot be threatened and no one can sin. It’s not the PRESENCE of evil.
Shadows on a wall do not have their own existence. They can only maintain so long as light SEEMS to be blocked. As soon as the blockage is remove and the light is supplied, it fills that area with light. The supposed darkness simply VANISHES. It has no staying power, no properties of its own, no will or power to remain, and it cannot resist the light. The notion that the darkness can HIDE the light or MAKE the light go away, is insanity and falling for the delusion of illusions.
Similarly sickness and death are ONLY the seeming absence of health and life. And when health and life are GIVEN through extension, when lack is supplied, these things MUST vanish. They do not have reality of their OWN and they have no power or will TO RESIST the healing. There cannot be anything keeping them in place because they DEPEND ENTIRELY on life, health, and love being temporarily lacking. When life is supplied, death MUST BE UNDONE.
Sickness isn’t sickness. It is merely a lack of health. That is not the same thing. The appearance of a lack of health can SEEM LIKE the PRESENCE of a sickness, a damage, an infection, a malfunction, a breakage, a disorder or disease. But these appearances are NOTHING OTHER THAN the seeming LACK or absence of life and love. They are no different to a shadow. And when light comes the shadow cannot stay, just as when the healing power of God’s LIFE is supplied, all forms of sickness and death MUST BE CURED.
A failure to heal, thus, must be because you simply have NOT GIVEN what is lacking. Because if it were given, sickness cannot stay and has no way to resist its undoing. It DEPENDS on life’s absence. Giving life supplies what was missing, and now there is wholeness, with no lack that sickness can be based on. Sickness is guilt, just as it is caused by sin, because sin is the belief in a lack of innocence and guilt is a belief in a lack of deserving love. Supply innocence and love and sickness cannot be there.
Nothing can resist this healing, except for possibly an assertion of free will, whereby someone WANTS to maintain the belief that darkness is real, sickness is its own thing, the body is autonomous and causal, evil exists, or that they are sinful and it cannot be undone. If the person does not show at least some willingness, love does not enter and miracles do not frighten. If someone does not consent, God’s help is held back. Not because it can’t be given but because there is unwillingness to receive it. Those who are sick have to have some faith and willingness, in order to receive help.
Besides this, the law is simple. Either there is the presence of immortality or its seeming absence. And when it seems to be absence, supplying it corrects the absence. And then all sights of mortality must go.
"My Atonement was for the canceling out of all sins (ie., lack of love)"
"The ego does not perceive sin as a lack of love. It perceives it as a POSITIVE ACT OF ASSAULT. This is an interpretation which is necessary to its survival, because as soon as YOU regard it as a LACK, you will automatically attempt to remedy the situation. And you will also succeed. The ego regards this as doom, but YOU must learn to regard it as freedom."
"Remember, I said before that because "nature abhors a vacuum", it does NOT follow that the vacuum is filled with hell fire. The emptiness engendered by fear should be replaced by love, because love and its absence are in the same dimension, and correction cannot be undertaken except WITHIN a dimension. Otherwise, there has been a confusion of levels."
"The second step is inherent in the first, because light cannot tolerate darkness. Light dispels darkness automatically, by definition. EXPLANATORY INSTRUCTIONS: Miracles are associated with fear only because of the fallacy that darkness can hide."
"There is no darkness that the light of love will not dispel, unless it is concealed from love's beneficence. What is kept apart from love cannot share its healing power, because it has been separated off and kept in darkness."
"My purpose, then, is still to overcome the world. 9 I do not attack it, but my light must dispel it because of what it is. 10 Light does not attack darkness, but it does shine it away. 11 If my light goes with you everywhere, you shine it away with me."
"The ego is nothing more than a PART of your belief about yourselves. Your other life has continued without interruption, and has been and always will be totally unaffected by your attempts to dissociate (separate)."
"Ego" is just a label, for what seems to happen within a PART of your own mind, when that part of your mind BELIEVES in separation. It is a label for the mind's insanity, its confusion, its attempt to be separate.
This "ego" is nothing more than a "lack of light", or the seeming darkness that appears to be there when light is lacking. But the darkness itself is not the PRESENCE of a darkness, it is merely the ABSENCE of a light.
Like a shadow, the shadow only forms when there is a limitation on the light, ie a blockage. When something is denying the light, it produces a seeming area of darkness. You would be DECEIVED to believe that this darkness itself was the PRESENCE of something, as if to say that "darkness can hide the light", or that darkness has a POWER to CAUSE light to go away.
"Miracles are associated with fear only because of the fallacy that darkness can hide."
The idea that the darkness has "come alive", has a mind or will of its own, has an evil nature, has evil intentions, is an enemy, is working against you on its own, etc, can only be believed by a confused mind. This is a "temptation" to be deceived.
To believe that the appearance of darkness means the PRESENCE of a "real evil", is delusional. It would be like saying that the darkness of night has caused the sun to go away.
In truth, the darkness COMPLETELY DEPENDS on the sustained blockage of the light. It depends on light's seeming absence. If the light were to shine, the absence of light would end, and whatever seemed to be "in" or "as" the darkness would literally disappear instantly into nothing. Light ALWAYS dispels darkness.
"Light dispels darkness automatically, by definition."
When mind is confused, insane, split, at war with itself, believing in separation, is twisted, believes that true things are false and false things are true, it develops a system of thought which seems backwards or "evil". It seems opposite to God and to goodness. It seems mad and selfish and special and exclusive, a mindset of war and destruction and death.
When this part of your mind believes wrongly, it somewhat hallucinates that the darkness is there. It invests the darkness with belief. It tries to give the darkness the properties of God, such as permanence, life, existence, power, will, etc. This is an attempt to believe that darkness or evil "really exists".
"Into eternity, where all is one, there crept a tiny, mad idea, at which the Son of God remembered not to laugh. In his forgetting did the thought become a serious idea, and possible of both accomplishment and real effects."
This illusion of darkness, which is NOT anything because it is a LACK OF anything, seems to a deluded mind to have its own existence. It seems to come alive, to have a voice, to have power, to have evil intentions of death. This is what we call the "ego". It is an illusion of a separate self, some kind of alien will or separate mind that seems to have its own power.
But at no time does this illusion of an ego or a "real darkness" ever become anything more than the absence of light. It never stops being a mere shadow on a wall, a temporary appearance of something missing. It is not a self, it is the LACK of self. It is not a real entity, it is the ABSENCE OF a real entity. It is like an empty dark hole.
The key thing is that this seeming darkness only persists so long as the MIND is believing in separation. The darkness completely depends on the continuation of this belief. The mind is the seat of all power. The mind is USING its power to PRETEND to be powerless, in which it SEEMS that this "dark self" has power over it. But in truth the powerful mind is animating this dark self, using this dark self, making this dark self act out like a puppet on a string.
This taps into the secret of salvation - that you are doing this all to yourself. The ego is not doing anything on its own. There is merely a part of your mind which YOU - as your mind - are pitting AGAINST the rest of you. You are at war with yourself. You are the mind that is "being egoic". You have an attitude problem. You have a faulty belief. That part of your mind which is believing wrongly seems to be "ego-like". It's trying to be evil. It's a part of YOU that you are trying to convert into the "devil."
In absolute truth, however, this egotism is nothing but an hallucination, this darkness is nothing but a lack of anything, its world and its body are nothing but illusions of nothingness pretending to be something, and there is no real separation anywhere. In absolute truth, there is no such thing as a real ego, a real devil, a real evil, and nor is the body or the world real. This is all part of the dream of separation, in which YOUR MIND is trying to hide from the light.
We should then not think of the ego as a separate entity, or the presence of a real evil, or some enemy with a will of its own to be fought and overcome. You do not do "battle with" the devil. There is no real war going on here beyond your BELIEF. Literally a part of your mind is "doing it all to itself." A part of your mind is trying to be evil. It is mistaken, but you DO have to own up to it.
You, as the soul, or the utilizer of the whole of mind, must find a way to reintegrate ALL of your mind into one whole. This INCLUDES the part of mind that is being ego. It does not include "the ego" itself, because that's just a description of a temporary "bad attitude" that part of mind is having. When that SAME mind receives correction from the Holy Spirit for its bad attitude, that same mind becomes holy again and reunites with the rest.
In truth then we have to at least temporarily own up to being the one who is trying to be separate. That ego in us - that's just a part of our own mind which is not healed yet. It's filled with ambitions that are twisted and evil-like. It needs significant correction and purification. That part of mind is sick and needs to be resurrected. Or rather, needs to awaken again to the awareness of the light. The light will dispel its hallucinations of darkness, and with it "the ego" - the lack of anything - will vanish completely.
The ego therefore has no power or will of its own to cause itself to exist, to maintain its existence, to fight against reality, or to stop "you" from undoing it. Literally there IS NO SEPARATE EGO. It's just part of YOU. Part of your mind that has gone astray.
When you own up to this, you RECLAIM ALL POWER from it, and no longer GIVE it power over you. How can it have power over you at all when it was really YOU having power over yourself all along? All you were ever really doing was using this puppet to have power OVER YOURSELF. You played BOTH victim AND victimizer. All the while believing you were being victimized by something which "is not me doing it."
When you finally see that ego is nothing but YOUR own self attack, and that you are the one doing all of the attacking, where is an enemy then? When you have owned up entirely to being the one who is being the devil/ego, your mind can now choose again, decide better, embrace the true self, and undo the separateness of the split. Mind reintegrates with mind, you reclaim ALL the power as your own, and never again will you victimize yourself with this fantasy of an enemy.
Where is the ego when the light has come? Nowhere. What was the ego? It was just an illusion of nothing seeming to be something. What was it made of? The lack of anything real. What did it seem to be? The darkness come alive. What was it really? The absence of the light. Where is it now that there is light? Nowhere. What is the ego? Nothing at all. It never really existed.
"The ego depends SOLELY on your willingness to tolerate it. But if you are willing to look upon your grandeur, you CANNOT despair, and therefore you CANNOT want the ego."
"Accept atonement with an open mind which cherishes no lingering belief that you have made a devil of God's Son."
"By steadily and consistently canceling out ALL its effects, EVERYWHERE AND IN ALL RESPECTS, He teaches that the ego does not exist, and PROVES IT."
"This is the one fact which MEANS that the ego does not exist, and which therefore makes it profoundly afraid."
"Where there was darkness now we see the light. What was the ego? What the darkness was. Where was the ego? Where the darkness was. What is it now and where can it be found? Nothing and nowhere. Now the light has come: Its opposite has gone without a trace. Where evil was there now is holiness. What is the ego? What the evil was. Where is the ego? In an evil dream that but seemed real while you were dreaming it. Where there was crucifixion stands God's Son. What is the ego? Who has need to ask? Where is the ego? Who has need to seek for an illusion now that dreams are gone?"
"My purpose, then, IS to overcome the world. I do not attack it, but my light must dispel it because of WHAT IT IS. Light does not ATTACK darkness, but it DOES shine it away."
"For the blamelessness of Christ is the proof that the ego never was, and can never be. Without guilt the ego HAS no life, and God's Son IS without guilt."
We have first clung to the body in an attempt to create a division between inner and outer.
The purpose of the body wasn't so much to identify yourself with the body, but to hide behind and inside of it.
Yet the body is seen as the mode of escape from that which you believe you are not.
Everything outside the body seems to represent what is no longer inside of you, which is the whole of God.
Our belief in being threatened by what is outside causes us to cling ever tighter to the body, making it sicker and in more pain in an effort to focus on it more intensely than ever.
Death of the body is a protest to be left alone to die, so that attackers will no longer bother you.
We reason the more real we can make the body seem to us the more we can identify it as ourself, keeping what is outside of it at bay. If we are the body, then the Son of God goes down when the body goes down.
The body is a withdrawal from wholeness. It is an intentional limitation and a separation between inner and outer self. It is a movement away from life and an attempt to stop living.
To be a body is to be a tiny interval of space, rather than the whole of space. And to be in the now, is to be in a tiny interval of time rather than eternity.
You are hiding in your body. But you are not a body, you are free.
We are constantly choosing, and in that choice are most often choosing to pretend that we have no choice.
That's the same thing as choosing to pretend that we have no power and that things are happening against our will.
When we are disempowered, we then tend to seek to fight against oppressors, rise up against enemies, and struggle with life. We think we're justified in doing so and that by doing so we are being powerful.
But that is not empowerment. That's weakness. War is always about weakness not power. There is no strength in conflict. War is just a "show" of strength that looks like strength but is actually vulnerability. We're just making the disempowerment more real, and keeping us stuck.
You actually have the real power to DIRECTLY affect outcomes, not that you need to manipulate them indirectly or wait for someone else to make the changes.
We have to learn to stop pretending that we do not have power. We need to stop make-believing that someone took it from us or that we have none. We just keep giving it away, over and over again. We keep disowning ourselves and hiding under a rock.
The more that we displace our own power onto other people and make them responsible for our lives, the more we wait for them and demand that they be the ones to change so that they will 'make our lives better' for us. And in that position we will be terrified and vulnerable, believing we have no power of our own to do anything.
You can't hide your power and feel powerful. You can't put responsibility for your life into other people's hands and experience strength or freedom. If you want other people to be responsible for your life, there's another word for that: imprisonment.