The ego is simply a state of split mindedness in which your will has started to will against itself.
This is the result of you attempting to will against God's will.
It now seems that something is attacking you, and that you are also an attacker. This makes you both a victim and a victimizer simultaneously.
The ego is not "that which is against you". That's only HALF.
The part of your mind which is split off from the rest, typically is made unconscious and projected and labeled an enemy, while the other part of your split mind is retained in conscious awareness and thought to be "your self".
To that limited conscious self, the rest of the mind/will seems to be opposed to it. To suggest that only the opposing alienated/unconscious will is "the ego" is an error, and it's how the ego keeps itself intact by blaming the other part of yourself for all sin.
That which seems to be against you is simply your own will, or part of it, which seems to be against the rest of your will. You are BOTH of them, and you are playing both sides of the war!
It is actually the SEPARATION BETWEEN the two parts of will, which needs to be undone. So that some part of your will is not willing against the other part. Undoing separation between your split wills will restore your will to the will of God.
If you can realize that therefore what you think of as the ego - this other alienated will that acts against you, your "enemy" - is in fact part of YOUR OWN WILL, acting against YOURSELF, that's the key to withdrawing all power from the idea of the "ego". It is not a separate thing that wills against you. It is YOU willing against YOU.
And that means, if you can realize you are literally doing this to yourself, that you can simply decide NOT TO will against yourself, and then, where is the separation? It's gone. This is why there IS NO EGO. There is only a conflicted will, and it's YOURS, and you can own it, and absolutely have all power to choose NOT to will against yourself. It's only you willing against yourself that is causing all your problems, not an "ego".
A Course in miracles does not mention the phrase "unconscious guilt". However, Jesus does teach about it. In fact, the whole course is about removing the BLOCKS TO AWARENESS. A blocked awareness is indicative of UNCONSCIOUSNESS - not being consciously aware of love.
Here for example he refers to "veiling in shadows", things which must be "raised to understanding" (brought back into conscious awareness), in order to make the choice for heaven consciously:
"Heaven is chosen consciously. The choice cannot be made until alternatives are accurately seen and understood. All that is veiled in shadows must be raised to understanding to be judged again, this time with Heaven’s help, and all mistakes in judgement which the mind had made before are open to correction as the truth dismisses them as causeless. Now are they without effects. They cannot be concealed because their nothingness is recognized."
Anything which is a hidden hate, a secret sin, something concealed, any form of denial, all illusions, all forms of sin guilt fear sickness and death, are forms of unconsciousness.
The entire idea of "awakening" is of returning to full conscious awareness, out of a state of semi-consciousness or, in the case of death, unconsciousness. It is also the same thing as the idea of "forgetting".
Here are for example paragraphs from 5 separate chapters talking about unconsciousness...
"These mad beliefs can gain UNCONSCIOUS hold of great intensity, and grip the mind with terror and anxiety so strong that it will not relinquish its ideas about its own protection."
"Defenses are not unintentional, nor are they made without awareness. They are secret magic wands you wave when truth appears to threaten what you would believe. They seem to be UNCONSCIOUS but because of the rapidity with which you choose to use them."
"Like to a dream of punishment, in which the dreamer is UNCONSCIOUS of what brought on the attack against himself, he sees himself attacked unjustly, and by something NOT himself."
"He is merely making every possible effort, within the limits you impose upon Him, to re-establish your own will in your consciousness. You have imprisoned it in your UNCONSCIOUS, where it remains available, but cannot help you."
"All forms of sickness, even unto death, are physical expressions of the fear of awakening. They are attempts to reinforce UNCONSCIOUSNESS out of fear of consciousness. This is a pathetic way of trying not to know by rendering the faculties for knowing ineffectual."
So you can see our unconscious states are quite well discussed in the course and this is only the tip of the iceberg.
There is one test by which you can find out if you have "unconscious stuff". First of all, realize that even if you have some amount of conscious awareness, it does not mean that you do not have an unconscious. When something is unconscious, you LITERALLY are NOT AWARE of it. There can be huge sections of your mind which have been walled off and kept hidden in the dark, which you do not even know are there.
It is the assumption of just about everyone that because you have conscious awareness, you are aware of EVERY part of your mind. This is usually far from the case. The test to determine whether you have an unconscious mind is simple:
If you perceive there is a cause affecting you which has not come from yourself, you have an unconscious mind.
This must be true because the only way you could perceive that something is happening against your will, is by being unaware of the way that you do everything to yourself. The secret to salvation is realizing you do everything to yourself. Therefore, if you are not directly confronted with AWARENESS of the way in which you are CAUSING everything you are experiencing, no matter what form it takes or how it is projected, YOU DO have a part of your mind which is unconscious. And yes, that means pretty much most of us.
It is valuable to realize you have unconsciousness, because you DO need to bring those parts of your mind back into conscious awareness in order for your mind to be FULLY AWARE OF LOVE’S PRESENCE, and to be able to consciously choose heaven. You cannot enter heaven while part of your mind is unconscious.
Typically, most people walking around this planet, believe that they are FULLY aware. When they wake up in the morning, they believe they have woken up fully. They believe that everything they are aware of comprises the sum total of all things that exist. And therefore, whenever they are trying to make sense out of what caused something to happen, they will reference everything they are aware of, trying to make sense out of how this could happen. And since they believe they are fully aware (but are not), they HAVE to find an explanation for what causes thing, usually by blaming it on someone else.
If you are blaming others or the world for causing ANYTHING, it is proof that you do not recognize that YOU are the cause, you did not SEE yourself cause it, and you seem to have asked for something without realizing it. So recognize this, if you are a victim in any way, you are unconscious.
That means there is a whole bunch of information, facts, truth, and content, which has been BLOCKED from your conscious awareness. These are nothing less than blocks to the awareness of love’s presence. These blocks, these barriers of denial which make the mind unconscious, is precicely what we are REQUIRED to UNDO, in order to restore our awareness of God.
But if you are walking the world thinking, you know everything there is to know, and are aware of everything there is to be aware of, and yet stuff is happening to you seemingly against your will, in any way, then YOU ARE IN DENIAL. And that means, you have a portion of mind which is currently NOT CONSCIOUS, which you are not aware you even have. It is tucked away, out of sight, and you don’t even SUSPECT that you have it.
It is vital to uncover these portions of mind and to heal their content. Too many people think that "forgiving" only means taking back projections. This is beause they have no idea that they have unconscious stuff in their mind. They think that they only need to deal with what they are consciously aware of, ie what someone seems to be doing, and to take back that projection.
That’s a fine stepping stone, but if it does not lead to a) removing the denial that made guilt go unconscious (fear), b) removing the denial which made sin go unconscious (guilt), c) removing the denial that made God go unconscious (sin), by bringing all of those into conscious awareness and undoing them, and accepting Atonement, then this is NOT complete forgiveness. It’s scratching the surface, and many people are NOT forgiving fully.
These hidden dark secrets are hidden behind shadows and illusions and layers of denial. Fear for example is made entirely to make guilt unconscious. Fear defends against guilt and protects the guilt. It causes you to fixate on what the fear is being caused by, anywhere other than within, so that you will not look within to see where the fear is really coming from.
All fear has its source in your unconscious belief that you are GUILTY. It has absolutely no other cause. But while you remain unconscious/unaware of that guilt, you will keep trying to make sense of why you are afraid by blaming the cause on something outside of you. And since that is never the cause, it will not provide you with a solution.
Fear has to be recognized as a decoy, an illusion that is nothing more than an effect, not a cause. It is the effect of guilt. Fear is not causing anything because it is only guilt that can cause it. When you can recognize fear as an effect of guilt, the implication as to what caused it automatically will start to give you some breadcrumbs which will bring that guilt back into conscious awareness. Then you can work on undoing the guilt.
Guilt also is a problem because, guilt is not the problem. Guilt actually is another decoy like fear, designed to block and keep sin unconscious. It’s sole purpose is to pretend you did not sin and did not want to sin. It disowns the sin and disassociates from it, projecting blame for it on something or something outside of you. So long as you are feeling sorrowful and guilty and allegedly unworthy of forgiveness, this will block the dishonest fact that YOU DID WANT TO SIN, and that you yourself believe in it. Guilt keeps sin real and prevents you from looking at it. It keeps it out of conscious awareness.
Guilt has to be then recognized as just an effect of sin, and not a cause of anything. It’s bullshit lies of "didn’t mean to do it" has to be seen through. Guilt is fake. It is there solely to stop you from bringing your unconscious belief in sin into awareness. When you can see that guilt is just an effect, and all guilt is caused by a belief in sin, that will help you to bring the sin into conscious awareness. It will resurface as soon as you make the connection of causality that sin caused guilt, therefore behind guilt there is sin lurking there.
Once the belief is sin is in your awareness, it is not going to be pretty. Always look at this stuff with Holy Spirit, because there is some really dark murderous death-wish kind of beliefs tucked way in the unconscious mind. But these beliefs like all the rest are fake. You have to realize then that sin actually is yet another block to awareness. It keeps something out of conscious awareness. Can you guess what it is?
God.
The belief in sin makes God unconscious. Not only is it a belief that God is dead and IS unconscious hisemself, it also shuts awareness of God out of the mind. It can only do this through denial and unwillingness to accept the truth. It is just another block to let go. You must recognize sin is not a cause of anything. Sin is just an effect of a mistaken idea of separation. It has not caused anything, and therefore has not happened. Undoing this will REVEAL GOD to you, consciously.
So you see, we have a LOT of shit that’s just sitting there in the unconscious areas of mind, and yet not exactly inert or inactive. Unconscious self-hate will project outwards and cause all manner of SHIT stuff to "happen to you", and it will seem to come out of nowhere, because you will not see that you asked for it. And so you will think you are just an innocent victim.
This is the big problem. Believing you are "innocent" just because you are not AWARE of the fact that you attacked yourself, is the entire foundation for projecting blame outside of yourself for everything you experience. You won’t be able to ACCEPT that you have done this to yourself, until you can consciously own up to it and actually SEE that you have in fact been the one who did it. To recognize that YOU PUT THERE all of the suffering you are experiencing, including all of your sickness. Until you can own it, you cannot let it go.
Just because you THINK you are innocent right now, on the basis of not being fully aware of your whole mind, is FAKE INNOCENCE. And it is this fake innocence which leads many people to not even suspect that they have unconscious shit to undo. It also leads many to believe they DID NOT CAUSE the shit that happens, which actually is an act of profound irresponsibility. It is this irresponsibility, the disownership of self, that produces all suffering.
Remember that the secret to salvation is that you have done this ALL to yourself. This is a course in CAUSE, not effect. You are to learn you are the CAUSE of everything in the world, not the effect of it. And you can only do that by becoming AWARE consciously that you in fact DO cause things. That means removing the blocks to AWARENESS, which are simply forms of denial which have made you partly UNCONSCIOUS. And extreme denial produces all denial of life, which leads to sickness and death as total unconsciousness.
If you want life, you must become willing to bring this unconscious stuff back into awareness for healing and release. And that’s going to have to mean, taking full responsibility for everything you are experiencing. Otherwise, guaranteed, you will suffer at your own hand without even realizing it. No-one dies without their own consent!!!
"Maybe I am causing this" "I must be responsible for this" "I am doing this to myself" "I am the cause of this" "I must have some unconscious stuff to heal if I seem to be suffering against my will" "There must be something I am not aware of where I am attacking myself" "I need to undo my belief that I sinned by bringing it back into awareness and letting it go."
Remember, "heaven is a choice I must make" - a conscious choice. You cannot have stuff lurking in unconsciousness, otherwise you are in denial, and the beliefs you are denying will make you unwilling to accept the atonement. A healed mind is a wholly conscious mind.
"What you would hide is hidden from you."
"Fantasies are the veil behind which truth is hidden."
"The hidden can terrify not for what it is, but for its hiddenness."
"Love has no darkened temples where mysteries are kept obscure and hidden from the sun."
"Every thought you would keep hidden shuts off communication."
"The children of God are holy and the miracle honors their holiness, which can be hidden but never lost."
"To learn this course requires willingness to question every value that you hold. Not one can be kept hidden and obscure but it will jeopardize your learning. No belief is neutral. Every one has the power to dictate each decision you make."
-------------------------
God is fully aware of you right now. The Holy Spirit especially is able to perceive everything about you in this illusory world. He literally knows everything, having access to true knowledge and a completely full perception with nothing hidden or omitted from His sight.
Therefore, if you think there are some things you are successfully hiding from Him, think again. "He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake" ;-) ... just like Santa.
He even is aware of everything you get up to "in private". Every time you are taking a shit, He is right there. Even when you're... you know... doing the deed.... He is right there. He literally is unlimited in His awareness of you.
Even the things which you think you are hiding from Him, you are only hiding them from yourself. He is perfectly aware of them. He is aware of everything in you, everything you think, all of your memories, every experience you've ever had, and everything that is going to happen.
If you can admit to yourself that He "sees you"... that He already knows everything about you and has not forgotten or ignored you whatsoever, this CAN be used as a justification for surrendering your hidden hates and secret sins. It can be used as a rationale for why there is no point in trying to keep these things hidden from Him.
This is where the true power of "confession" comes in. I'm not talking about being Catholic either. I'm talking about, the willingness to admit that there is no point hiding because it does not work. The willingness to expose your darkest secrets to the light. The willingness to purge from yourself every little dark corner which you keep hidden and secret believing that He would hate you for it.
God is not about to judge you or hate you or attack you or punish you for anything you think you've done. It's perfectly safe to TRUST Him with your deepest shames and your most horrifying sins. Just get them out in the open.
Hey, fact is, HE ALREADY KNOWS WHAT YOU THINK YOU DID. Who are you kidding? You think you can Hide from He who is Omnipresent? You think there is a place where He does not exist or has no awareness? God knows everything. Holy Spirit perceives the whole picture.
So why try to keep stuff hidden as if doing so is keeping you safer? Keeping stuff hidden just keeps YOU in the dark and keeps you afraid and protects the sin and uses this "fear of what God will think" as a justification for not exposing it to Him.
And the fact is, you WANT To keep your stuff in the dark because you know that if you were to expose it to the light it would disappear. And you don't want that, because you want to keep your sin and keep on suffering, believing it is a valuable treasure that He would take away from you, something that you have long kept within you as "truth" and as your own verdict of what you're worth.
Expose yourself to God. Let it all out. Trust Him to be nothing but understanding and forgiving as you "confess" everything you think you ever did wrong or whatever is sinful about you. He will disregard it. He knows it's not true of you. He just wants to help you, for you to be willing to put all your shitty lies into His hands so that He can dissolve them and give you a big hug of love.
If you can tune into this idea that God already knows your every secret, and see the futility of keeping anything from Him, then you will become quite willing to admit the truth. Which means, allowing the truth to access you and heal you. It doesn't mean you "really did do" what you think you did. It means, you really didn't, but you don't realize that until you let it out in the open, into the light, to let Him remove it for you.
One practice I find useful sometimes is to imagine an "altar" or some kind of thing, where you can put your dark shit onto it and it will simply disappear. It's taken from you by the Holy Spirit. I say like "I give this shame to you Holy Spirit" and I visualize myself literally reaching into myself, pulling out this "stuff", and handing it over to Him or putting it on the altar. I may even visualize his hands taking it. And often the stuff I pull out takes on a "form" like spiked objects or heavy balls or a basket full of weapons or a bucket of blackness or whatever... I hand it over and let it go. It disappears. After several rounds of that, you can feel the relief, and you feel happier.
You might as well confess, because at this point, it's not a matter of whether "The Law" (God) knows what you think you did or not, it's only a matter of you being willing to offer it up in a surrendering act of handing it over and admitting to your belief in it, and NOT getting punished for it, and then having it be absolved and undone. Just surrender it all to God and acknowledge God's awareness of you.
God's verdict of you is ALWAYS that you are innocent no matter what you think you did. So just get that shit out. Hand it over! Give it to God and let it go already.
Something simple that I was inspired by yesterday is simply this idea that we are trying to get rid of ourselves. We've filled ourselves with all this guilt which we believe is the truth of us, and then we're trying to get rid of 'that self'. But basically in the bigger picture we're trying to destroy the Son of God - who we are.
So as we take stuff from inside us, that we think we are, and we push it outside of us, this is us trying to get rid of ourselves. You're trying to get rid of what you are and to deny that you are it. And because you don't like the idea that you are guilty, which you believe is true, you will try to get rid of that guilt, which makes you get rid of yourself.
So you see, your identity goes along for the ride - shoveling out all the guilt shit from your mind and projecting it outward to disown it, makes you disown your self as well, because you've identified with it. So it's your identity you're trying to get rid of.
When you keep trying to get rid of 'that guilty self' by getting rid of the guilt (and you along with it because you're attached to it), you basically send yourself to hell and death. Projecting it keeps the guilt intact and you just end up getting rid of all of yourself. It's because you've identified AS the 'guilty self' that this happens.
You need a way to be free of the guilt without it being YOU that you are free of. You need to be freed from the 'guilty self' without it being your real self that is removed.
To do that of course we need two parts.
1) Correcting the belief that the guilt is true
2) Detaching from the guilty self and recognizing/re-attaching to your true self.
You can't detach from the guilty self while you believe that the guilt is the truth. You have to REINTERPRET THE MEANING that you've given to yourself. Guilt reinterpreted the meaning of WHAT YOU ARE to begin with, and now you need to RE-interpret the meaning of what you are to restore it back to its TRUE MEANING as given by God.
Once you can look at the guilt and recognize it is not the truth (in the light of truth/God/Holy Spirit), THEN you can detach what YOU are from IT and be willing and ready to genuinely let it go/detach from it.
This of course involves surrender of the belief in the guilty self and an opening up to your true/higher self/Holy Spirit's view of you.
The world was made to die. It is hell. Bad shit happens, sooner or later. Everything breaks down, suffers, dies in the end. It's an insane world.
However.
When a whole shit ton of bad shite happens, and it keeps coming, at first it seems to attack all the defenses you made against its nature. All your safeties are called into question. All your values are turned upside down. Everything you held dear is threatened. All your expectations that the world can be a great place are shattered. All the bodies that you valued highly are threatened.
You don't realize it at the time but this is a transformation and it's leading somewhere quite useful.
Later when the dust settles, the world has left a very bad taste in your mouth. You think perhaps that you should heal from this by undoing everything that the world did to you, except that you start to notice something.
By turning to vengeance and brutality and cruelty and despair the world (ego) revealed its true nature. It shoved its deadliness in your face. It taunted you with its unfairness and harmfulness. It opened up a chasm of hell and all the voices of sin roared up in front of you. While temptation tried to lead you deeper still into its suffering dirge.
And so now, you got a really good look at the shit hole that it is. It stopped being so hidden and all its fucked-up shite just flew out in the open. And it was hell, but then you noticed.
This is how the world is. Not just "this time". Not just "because it has a grudge against you personally". It's how it ALWAYS is.
And through its destruction of your defenses against this fact, and though its deterioration of the ways this is usually hidden from view, you see the world now more squarely. It's more obvious that it simply, fundamentally, sucks ass. Because it was designed to.
And now a new awareness starts to dawn on you.
While you might've tried to escape from hell's onslaught and veer off into coping mechanisms and avoidance and denial, grasping desperately at the rose-tinted glasses in attempting to scrape together some kind of normality, all of this was brought into question.
And now instead of moving in the direction of trying to dress up the world again, to make it home again, to repair the breakdown, to create another illusion of safety in the midst of turmoil, you instead shift direction.
You notice that you've been doing this your whole life. Building up defenses against death. Believing the world can be a great place to be. Trying to assemble a home to shut out the brutality and attacks of the outside world. Forming special relationships and allegiances to defend against the enemies. All this hiding. All this defending. All this avoiding. It comes to a halt.
And now you realize it wasn't just that the world COULD be a great place, and you just weren't very good at making it one, it's actually that there's a much bigger thing going on here. The world is DESIGNED TO FAIL. Over and over again. It is HELL BENT on death and destruction. It WANTS to end and it wants to end you. This is is NATURE. But no-one told you that, and everyone taught you of its illusory virtues and hopeful outcomes and partial loveliness.
It wasn't you. It wasn't just your efforts and your denials. It's the world. It's not just something you did wrong that kept making things fail. All the times you hoped that things would be better. All the wishful thinking. It was all pointless given that the world, itself, was ALWAYS going to end in the dirt.
And now the disguise has been taken off. The world's bullshit has slapped your face rather too openly, and now you are no longer in the business of defending IT, or dressing IT up to be something pretty, or imagining that ITS nature is fundamentally good. No more trying to turn the world into heaven or expecting that it CAN be that.
There is now a willingness to recognize, to accept, this world just wants to die. And it's always dying. And everything in it dies. It's not you, it's not even personal. It's just how the world is. It's it's nature. Kill or be killed, and kill anyway. This whole planet is going to turn to dust someday, or the sun will explode and destroy it. That's a fact. This is the inevitability of the wages of sin, in a world driven by laws of death.
In a way, the world's onslaught has done you a favor. It's brought into question all your little home-making defenses and all your special values and things you liked about it. It's ripped your life apart and destroyed your idol worship. It's shown itself it be cruel, desperate, unfair, brutal, vicious and deadly. And it cares not. Because it can't do anything but make everything die.
So now you know. Your eyes have been opened. No more denial about this world being a pretty bundle of icecream and kittens. This is the recognition that the world IS hell. It's NOT your home. It's designed to make you suffer and all things in it are cruel and tempt sin and guilt.
"The body's eyes are therefore not the means by which the real world can be seen, for the illusions that they look upon must lead to more illusions of reality. And so they do. For everything they see not only will not last, but lends itself to thoughts of sin and guilt. "
You had taught yourself that this world was your home. You taught yourself it could be heaven. You taught yourself things in it didn't have to die. You taught yourself you could avoid and resist and deny all you want, but eventually it still turns to shit, and there seems to be nothing you can do about it.
Form, flesh, appearances, bodies, animals, nature, planets, galaxies, it's all part of a system of death. Take the veil off. Lift away the lies. See through the temptation to believe otherwise. Undo the confusion, in which you thought this world was heaven. Reverse the lies, in which you thought there was truth and reality and holiness to something which is just a dream of nothingness. See the world for what it IS.
The world is just an illusion of a world, the hell you made, an opposite to life, and designed to do nothing but destroy God's son. There is no way out of it except through forgiveness. There are no roads made of its hellish substrate that lead out of it. Everything dies here. It's what it does. Spacetime makes sure of that.
Recognizing this is seeing through illusions, not being deceived and learning. While hell came to take the truth from you, all it ended up doing was exposing itself. And now that you've had a good hard look at its desperate sucky ness, you can see it's not the dressed-up doll you thought it was. And that's a good thing. You now recognize it's made to die, so you can stop trying to run away from this, or expect otherwise for its forms.
You can indeed certainly become miraculous and overthrow all this, demonstrating that all this can be changed BECAUSE its an illusion. You can show that you are under the laws of ANOTHER world. You can demonstrate this world's fundamental bullshit by reversing its bullshit. But the world is what it is. And it will end because it never really began.
Perhaps the light at the end of the tunnel, or the "gift" that has come of this passage through darkness, is that you can now see, without the blinders on, what this world really is like. And seeing that sets you free, because only denial keeps you bound to the lies. And recognizing the world's nature gives you power over it. It is ONLY what it is, and nothing else. It is ONLY an illusion, not a reality. It is ONLY a dream of death, NOT real life. There is nothing in it worth having or that you want, because everything you really want and value is of God. And that lives in another world.
It is any form of DENIAL, which actually PREVENTS you from being consciously aware of something that has been repressed.
That means that while the block remains, it is not merely a matter of you having to deal with "what you believe" consciously, it's actually about how you are USING this belief in order to HIDE something else that is OUTSIDE of your conscious awareness. Something that you DO NOT BELIEVE IS THERE.
You implemented the block by covering it over with something. This made the thing UNCONSCIOUS to you. Therefore you do not think it exists. You then think that you are in a state of FULL AWARENESS, and that if you do not SEE or are not aware of something in you, it does NOT EXIST. But this is not true.
The block to awareness has MADE the problem unconscious, outside of your awareness, and so you do NOT see it and do not therefore FIND it when you look around you. Thus you think it is not there.
This is why buried underneath DENIAL, there is stuff like unconscious guilt and unconscious sin, lurking in the depths of darkness or unawareness, blocked from sight on purpose, so that you will KEEP IT and not undo it.
Literally, "out of sight, out of mind." or "Swept under the carpet".
This is why fixing blocks to awareness is NOT just the taking back of projections. Projections are just displacements of material, usually coming FROM the unconscious content, but experienced consciously as external or separate from you. That's what the denial MADE HAPPEN.
The block to awareness ITSELF *IS* the layer of denial which has MADE the problem unconscious to you. Everything which supports that denial KEEPS the problem in the dark and beyond your ability to be conscious of it. Blocks of denial must be questioned and undone to REVEAL the unconscious hidden hates and secret sins, otherwise you are dealing only with what you THINK are the problems in your mind while simultaneously AVOIDING the deeper problems you did not want to look at. It was by not wanting to look at the problem that you MADE it unconscious so that you could PRETEND it is not there.
Blocks to awareness LITERALLY BLOCK AWARENESS. Until they are removed, AWARENESS has not been increased. But once they are removed, awareness HAS increased, and you have woken up to more of what you are.
Fear is like this little box inside of which there is fear, and the fear keeps trying to get out.
It wants to get out and point fingers at all kinds of things outside of the box, so that it can explain why the fear exists.
If you let it, fear will project outside of the box and you'll believe the fear in the box is put there by things outside of it.
But fear never leaves the box.
And everything fear says and does inside the box, stays in the box (stays in Vegas? lol)
If you can look at the fear and not at what the fear is pointing to, and not at what it is insinuating is the cause of it outside the box, and instead realize the presence of the fear ITSELF is the problem, then you're on your way.
The fear itself is the problem because it's ACTIVELY attempting to attack your invulnerability, destroy your innocence, threaten your immortality and stop you from realizing something very important...
There is no fear outside the box. There is no cause for fear outside the box.
Outside the box, everything is perfectly alright. Everything is God. Everything is safe. Everything is lovely. There's no fear there.
This is what the fear does not want you to see, and it is a defense against seeing this by telling lies about what's outside the box.
It's kind of like this nasty little shitty little liar that tells nothing but lies and it really can't be believed. You have to realize not to listen to it at all because it's entirely false.
Don't buy into the projections that try to justify it, those are NOT the problem. All the 'causes' of the fear, that is NOT the problem.
The problem is merely the presence of the fear itself which acts as a reality filter and tries to destroy what would otherwise be a perfectly excellent situation. A Holy Instant.
Once you recognize fear as a dirty rotten liar that tells no truth and which is always confined to its box, and you don't allow it to project or listen to the projections, then something should occur to you...
There is no OTHER reason outside the box to be afraid, and if the fear is kept in the box and then REMOVED entirely, the situation you're in is actually really really really good. Things are working out. Everything's flowing. God is loving. Everyone is ok. You're totally safe. That's the truth fear tries to mess with.
So then your mind can take a little leap and realize, hey, this fear isn't telling me what's right, it's lying to me, and the situation ISN'T terrible, and people AREN'T threatened, and I AM safe and loved. And in that realization you can now confidently march forward, access the power of God, walk in confidence and reassurance, and wield miracles.
ACIM reiterates many times that WE ALONE ARE THE CAUSE of our own suffering. We are not ever at the effect of the world. We are the cause of the world, the dream, and everything we feel and think and experience. Nothing happens without our consent, and we cannot even be hurt unless we ourselves hurt ourselves.
When you take this to the extreme, it means that YOU ALONE are responsible for EVERYTHING you experience, and NO ONE ELSE has anything to do with it whatsoever. There are no causes in the world, your brothers NEVER cause you (God is the cause of you), and you cannot suffer unless you choose to.
You can't even die unless you choose to. NOTHING can happen without your decision. And Jesus is completely literal about this. If you do not CHOOSE to suffer, suffering CANNOT happen to you. Sickness cannot happen, nor can death. You have automatic innate power over death and suffering at all times, and ONLY YOU can bring them upon yourself.
"If you deny Him, you bring sin, pain, and suffering into your OWN mind, because of the power He gave it."
This puts 100% of the responsibility on your shoulders. Which means that if you are ever tempted to believe that something is happening for a reason OTHER than your own contribution, you are in a state of being mistaken, and now you need correction. Because it is ONLY your contribution that is causing everything.
This sounds easy enough. You just need to realize and recognize that every time you are unhappy, upset, suffering, in pain, sick, angry etc, it is because you are making it happen. If you would just stop hurting yourself you'd be totally invulnerable and healthy and happy all the time. No joke.
What becomes seemingly difficult is the many ways that we might not recognize what we're doing, or that we're even doing anything at all. We can become so used to blame, and reaction, and emotional triggers, and powerlessness, and believing other people actually do stuff, and that it seems impossible we can be responsible for everything.
In fact it runs very deeply. Every single thought you have, every attitude, every belief, are all part of the confusion that "its not me doing it" and "they are doing it to me." In every way, it is really you, who are an immortal being who can never even be changed at all, becoming confused and believing that something outside of you is changing you against your will. This can NEVER be true.
Every time that we lose sight of being THE CAUSE, we fall into temptation. We deny the truth and project causality outside of us. And this is the same as projecting sin. Then we find others or the world to be the cause of us. And this is a defense against the healing God placed in our minds. It's a way to avoid being healed by displacing the problem and its source outside of ourselves.
We talk about teaching others, and helping others, and having relationships, and performing miracles and so on, but the foundation of all this is simply YOU BEING YOU. Are you attacking yourself, or aren't you? If you aren't, you are not under attack. If you are, you are your ONLY worst enemy. This is all due to the suicidal self-destructiveness which comes from believing you are sinful. Are you trying to destroy yourself and others, or are you extending creation?
If you were to temporarily remove the entire planet, and all the people on it, and leave just you floating in space by yourself, whatever is going on in your experience is SOLELY caused by you. There is nothing else to cause it. This really tells you that ALL your forgiveness work is ENTIRELY an inside job. IT has nothing to do with others. It's you versus yourself. Is you trying to master yourself. It's your mind playing tricks on itself. It's you alone affecting yourself insanely.
Weaning off of all the reasons, excuses, explanations, justifications, beliefs, projections, and all other forms of displacement of responsibility, is not easy. We have a lot of habits formed, a lot of assumptions made, and a lot of belief in being vulnerable. We position ourselves as victims on a minute-by-minute basis. We might think it's not even POSSIBLE to question whether these things are happening to us. That things can seem so extreme and lopsided that it seems impossible we can be the one causing it.
But even those things which seem convincing, tempting us, secretly our dissociated choice, we have to dig out ALL of them, to question every single mental activity which is leading you away from your invulnerability. Even the notion that if you are being responsible, other people can still do stuff to you, cannot be true. Even the notion that even if you're doing your best, you will still die, cannot be true. Even death itself CANNOT have power over you if you decide NOT to die. "You are immortal and you cannot die."
The aim here is that you become "strong in the truth". That you stand in your own light. That you know yourself and be true to yourself. That you be so certain of what you ARE, that you don't for a second displace yourself, make a bodily identity, project cause outside of yourself, or believe any temptation that you are threatened by the world. This is how you be the light of the world, by going WITHIN to the light that is in you, so that it can extend.
Ultimately it boils down to one simple thing. You are the one who is making your life hell. It's not anyone else, and its not the world. It's not your neighbors, not your boss, your politicians, your celebrities. It's not certain races or countries or the weather or food or where you live. It's not external activities or events or space or time. It's just YOU. You are the one who is doing it to yourself. Holy fuck!
Salvation has been placed IN YOUR MIND by God because he knows that the PROBLEM is in your mind. And so the solution is in your mind. Your mind is what needs to be corrected, and that is all. This will take care of everything else. You are the one who is against you. You are the one who keeps giving YOUR power away to others. You are the one who keeps losing yourself and confusing yourself with things which are not you. And you are the one who can use the power of your decision to get out of it.
"You are immortal and you cannot die, but you can confuse yourself with things that do.""It means that nothing outside yourself can save you; nothing outside yourself can give you peace. But it also means that nothing outside yourself can hurt you, or disturb your peace in any way.""It is impossible that anything should come to me unbidden by myself. Even in this world, it is I who rule my destiny. What happens is what I desire. What does not occur is what I do not want to happen."
"Unless you have hurt yourselves, you could never suffer in ANY way"
"Who could be hurt in such a war, unless he hurts himself?"
"Nothing can hurt you, unless you give it the power to do so."
"If you will listen to His voice, you will know that you cannot either hurt or be hurt"
"You cannot be hurt, and do not want to show your brother anything except your wholeness."
"I AM responsible for what I see. I CHOSE the feelings I experience, and I DECIDED ON the goal I would achieve. And everything that SEEMS to happen TO me, I ASKED FOR and received as I had asked."
"It is impossible the Son of God be merely driven by events outside him. It is impossible that the happenings that come to him were not his choice. His power of decision is the determiner of every situation in which he seems to find himself by chance or accident."
"The secret of salvation is but this: That YOU are doing this UNTO YOURSELF. No matter what the form of the attack, this STILL is true. Whoever takes the role of enemy and of attacker, STILL is this the truth. Whatever seems to be the cause of any pain and suffering you feel, this is STILL true."
"Salvation is the recognition that the truth is true and nothing else is true. "
DENIAL
The truth is true.
You do not want the truth.
You have denied the truth.
You use denial to make the truth seem like it's not true.
You think that what you denied is made false by the denial.
You don't want it to be true.
You want something else to be true.
You believe something else is true, so that the truth is not true.
If you want the truth, you will have to stop being in denial.
You do not want to look at what you have denied.
Denying the truth keeps it away from you.
Denying the truth stops it being true.
You think that what you denied is not the truth.
You think your denial is justified because the truth is not true.
You do not want what is not true.
You think your truth is the only truth.
You think your denial is a fact, and not an opinion.
ACCEPTANCE/FORGIVENESS
You will have to be willing to question what you think is true.
What you think is true is not true.
Your truth that you treasure is a lie.
You haven't recognised how it is lying.
You haven't realised why it's not true.
You've convinced yourself that something false is true.
You will have to be willing to consider you are mistaken.
You will have to look at what you've denied.
You don't want to look at it because you think it's your enemy.
You don't want to give your enemy any credit.
But the truth only seems false because you keep denying it.
You will have to become willing to reconsider what the truth is.
You will have to forgive it and give it more credit.
You will have to become able to see and recognize its truth.
You will have to be willing to let go of what you thought was true.
You will have to change what you want.
You will have to want the truth to be true, to stop denying it.
You will have to side with it, against what is false.
Thus your whole thought system will have to undergo a complete reversal.
What you once thought was your enemy becomes your friend.
What you once thought was untrue becomes the truth.
What you once thought was true becomes a lie.
You recognize that only the truth is true, and only the false is false.
You have accepted atonement.
For the ego, an answer is not an answer that solves a problem. Instead its answers are merely manipulations which describe the problem and compound it.
Sometimes the ego makes it appear that a problem is being 'solved' by, apparently practically, doing some thing to the situation to rearrange the furniture and manipulate objects into a different configuration. But this still keeps the scenery and does not solve any of the OTHER problems which are all kept completely separate.
The ego is not really a problem solver, but a problem inventor and problem keeper.
God is different. God has an answer, but God's answer isn't informational. God's answer doesn't just manipulate forms and try to create a 'picture' of there being an answer.
Instead, God's answer is actually an EXPERIENCE of the problem not existing. God's answer HEALS the situation completely, now. God's answer UNDOES every perception that a problem exists at all. And God's answer applies to EVERYTHING the same, solving all experiences of all problems simultaneously.
God doesn't solve one problem only to keep another. God is the solution to all problems, permanently. And God doesn't solve one problem only to bring back 1000 more problems in different forms later on. God undoes every problem, completely, permanently, and maintains a state of 'problem-less-ness', SO THAT there will be no problems.
God's answer is the only truly practical real answer, because it actually fixes what the real problem is. The ego never fixes the real problem whatsoever. And as you solve the real problem (ego separation), life MUST return to ORDER.
And so as you shift from ego-based problem solving to God-based problem solving, you'll notice that you're not going to just start asking God what the answer is. You're not going to just start asking God to come in and solve a finite form of a problem. You're also not going to be asking God to spend ages and ages describing every intricate detail of the problem at length. This is a trap I fall into, thinking that getting God's longwinded explanation is better than making up one of my own. Do I want diagnosis and a STORY or do I want the problem healed?
Problem-solving with God is immediate, instantaneous, full and completely restorative. It is healing. It is a shift away from 'diagnosis' to 'solution'. It is a shift away from delving into the story and history of the problem, and directly into the removal of it, permanently.
God heals permanently, God is permanently healed.