When I had an awakening experience in the presence of God, it was so profound. I had no idea it was going to happen and had no idea that God would be so loving, gentle, soft and joyful. I especially did not know that God was not far away, but right under my own skin.

I was aware that God was real and that I was becoming merged with Christ and that my ego self was just about going to disappear. I felt myself "pull back" from the dream as though snapping out of it, into a state of such intense awareness the likes of which I had no idea was possible. I thought I was awake every day of the week when I got up in the morning, but this was a whole other level of wakefulness.

Later, when I had to go back to work, it was surprisingly bizarre how I seemed to be aware of something as though it was totally obvious, and yet nobody else seemed to be aware of it. I couldn't figure out why they didn't know about it.

They acted like they were in some kind of unconscious sleep, seemingly awake but somehow not, totally oblivious to the presence of God which was everywhere. It was like there was this huge elephant in the room that I was aware of, and nobody else even had the slightest idea that it was there.

Trying to interact with people was very peculiar because I had to sort of pretend to be at their level, and all the things they thought were important were not important at all. It was kind of funny how fixated on "small stuff" they were.

It was like looking in on the scene from outside of it, watching the people go about their lives seemingly normally but as though they were half asleep, not even realizing what they weren't realizing.

As I "fell back asleep" over the following weeks, I returned to the same state of mind as them, more or less, and once again was not aware of the presence of God. At this time was quite devastating and I had a huge sense of loss and grief.

But from time to time, God pops in to say hello and I gradually inch my way back to an awareness that I now know is possible. But I can at least understand that when we do wake up, it's going to be a bit bizarre being in a world where almost everyone is still sleeping. I guess we'll have to tiptoe quietly.

The primary source of guilt is the belief in having sinned against God.

But after this, when guilt has been established, it is denied and made unconscious, then projected, or see as disassociated from your identity.

The problem is, this then justifies anger and reactions. When someone comes along and does something and you seize the opportunity to project blame, you'll go into a reactionary attack mode.

Seeing someone as the one who is sinful, justifies all ego reactions. Then the reaction happens. Once the reaction is happening, anger is justified and attack seems to make sense.

So then you counter-attack. This counter-attack is based on the perception that the person is a "real sinner". So now you see yourself attacking a "real sinner", justifiably, and in the moment it seems like a completely rational thing to do.

But if you attack your brother, or blame them, or aggress against them, it's going to do something to you. Seeing them as a real sinner, and attacking them, means you are now attacking something "real" all over again.

This means that now your counter-attack is in fact another whole layer of sin.

And that sense of sinning against something real, even if its against someone who seems to call for attack, WILL produce yet more guilt. You might feel like you got something off your chest or put someone in their place or told them where to fuck off or whatever, but afterwards, you will feel guilty.

You can't help but be guilty if what someone did seemed like "real truth" and your response to it was attack. Attacking reality produces sin then guilt.

It can go even further in a vicious cycle, whereby now that you are guilty for having attacked, instead of facing the guilt, you will seek to scapegoat and attack yet again, maybe lashing out at someone who wasn't even involved in the original conflict, adding yet another layer of guilt on top of guilt on top of guilt.

I noticed this yesterday because I became angry at someone and felt justified in venting at them, and later couldn't shake the feeling of guilt. When I applied forgiveness, I found out that I believed I'd hurt the person, and that as a result, I believed I must be guilty. And the fact is, that the argument was nothing to do with the person really at all, it was me projecting unhealed stuff about an entirely separate person. And the issue wasn't even to do with that separate person. It was about myself, of course.

Layers upon layers.

For the ego, an answer is not an answer that solves a problem. Instead its answers are merely manipulations which describe the problem and compound it.

Sometimes the ego makes it appear that a problem is being 'solved' by, apparently practically, doing some thing to the situation to rearrange the furniture and manipulate objects into a different configuration. But this still keeps the scenery and does not solve any of the OTHER problems which are all kept completely separate.

The ego is not really a problem solver, but a problem inventor and problem keeper.

God is different. God has an answer, but God's answer isn't informational. God's answer doesn't just manipulate forms and try to create a 'picture' of there being an answer.

Instead, God's answer is actually an EXPERIENCE of the problem not existing. God's answer HEALS the situation completely, now. God's answer UNDOES every perception that a problem exists at all. And God's answer applies to EVERYTHING the same, solving all experiences of all problems simultaneously.

God doesn't solve one problem only to keep another. God is the solution to all problems, permanently. And God doesn't solve one problem only to bring back 1000 more problems in different forms later on. God undoes every problem, completely, permanently, and maintains a state of 'problem-less-ness', SO THAT there will be no problems.

God's answer is the only truly practical real answer, because it actually fixes what the real problem is. The ego never fixes the real problem whatsoever. And as you solve the real problem (ego separation), life MUST return to ORDER.

And so as you shift from ego-based problem solving to God-based problem solving, you'll notice that you're not going to just start asking God what the answer is. You're not going to just start asking God to come in and solve a finite form of a problem. You're also not going to be asking God to spend ages and ages describing every intricate detail of the problem at length. This is a trap I fall into, thinking that getting God's longwinded explanation is better than making up one of my own. Do I want diagnosis and a STORY or do I want the problem healed?

Problem-solving with God is immediate, instantaneous, full and completely restorative. It is healing. It is a shift away from 'diagnosis' to 'solution'. It is a shift away from delving into the story and history of the problem, and directly into the removal of it, permanently.

God heals permanently, God is permanently healed.

God does not, cannot, will not, has not, and never could, create anything that is even capable of death. God is eternal, permanent, unchanging, unflinching, constant, always, perfect in every way and utterly incapable of degradation, decay, destruction, disease, or death.

If something even has the POSSIBILITY of seeming to do any of these things, it cannot possible have come from God. That much should be obvious. A divine being who can only create in his own image and likeness could never even conceive of creating suffering, sickness, pain, misery, torture, war, murder and suicide.

God could not possibly have created seasons in which entire populations of seeming lifeforms are wiped out through temperature changes. God could not possibly have created stunning vistas and sunsets only to later have them destroyed by an atomic bomb. God could never in any way conceive of creating an environment for his beloved children which entails any form of suffering, conflict or terror whatsoever.

For God to create such a place God would have to be cruel. God would have to have a mean streak. Some kind of aspect of his own nature which, when creating in his likeness, produces more of the same. God Himself would have to be diseased, suffering, dead and destructive, in order to create anything that exhibits these tendencies.

It is utter complete total bullshit nonsense to suggest that God created this world. This is a cruel, vicious, unfair, cold, lifeless world, houses in a dream of death, framed by sickness and set off against a background of suffering. It is absolutely not in any way related to God's nature or God's will. It has absolutely nothing to do with reality, truth, love, perfection, happiness or holiness. The world is a total illusion that has no reality, is not possible, and cannot exist. Because if God cannot participate in what exists, it cannot exist, because God is the creator.

Again, this is why there is no world. A world of bullshit cannot come from a God of love. And it doesn't have anything what so fucking ever to do with perception. It does not matter whether you are looking at this world with utter contempt, or whether you are looking at it with love. The world's character, features, makeup, dependency on spacetime, separateness, fluctuations, changing images and so on are all evidence of being NOT LIKE GOD. It doesn't matter if you view it with the most holy pure perception possible, it STILL cannot exist because it is still not like God. Looking at bullshit correctly doesn't turn it into the truth.

The secret of salvation tells you "you're doing this to yourself". ACIM also tells you "you but accuse your brother of your own sins." It also tells you that you "look within first" and then project outward, producing perception.

So the thing is, you START by attacking yourself first, accusing your self of sin. Then you look within. Then you project your own sin out. Then you find yourself in a situation where you seem to have to "forgive someone else", or at least begin the process of realizing it's not about them, taking back the projection, and then looking at why YOU are innocent.

But really most of the time we spend in undoing all this projected crap, it's not really even the original problem. The original problem is that we do not love ourselves. We attack ourselves. We have judged and condemned ourselves. We've believed ourselves to be unworthy of love and forgiveness. And it's only later that this becomes projected onto the world and other people, which produces a mess we have to then clean up before we can even home in on the real issue.

If you think about it, your only job then really involves the forgiving of YOUR SELF, which would automatically remove the need to project sin onto others in the first place. Your SELF ATTACK needs to be undone, in order to have no sin TO project. And if you are not experiencing love, it is because you have not forgiven YOUR SELF. You have blocks to the awareness of love's presence because you do not believe you deserve to be loved. You don't love other people because you hate yourself first.

Forgiveness is not really complete until you return to a state of love, whether it seems to be about another person or yourself. Only when you can love the person that was an enemy, are you fully done forgiving them, and now welcome them with open arms. If you do not love yourself, it's because you have not forgiven yourself fully. Which means that you have grievances against yourself. You have beliefs about your own sinfulness. You are convinced of your own unworthiness and are hurting yourself.

If you were to address this actual problem, this inner self hatred, this suicidal self-abuse, the secret sins and hidden hates, not even on a basis of feeling guilty about accusing your brother of it, it would clear everything up. Jesus says you don't have to seek for love, you just need to remove the barriers you've built against it. Those barriers are barriers against YOU, against loving yourself. They are within you. And it's only later that you project them as a hellish world in ways that interfere with your relationships.

You are the one who needs to forgive, and you are the one who needs to be forgiven. By yourself. You need to learn to stop unloving yourself. You need to find out all the ways that you do not love yourself or are unwilling to do so. And they will indicate all the ways that you do not want to love others because YOU do not believe YOU deserve to receive love. And then you need to undo that belief so that you can recognize your entitlement to love.

Miracles function by applying to both YOU AND another. And so your unwillingness or inability to love another is only evidence of your unwillingness to love yourself. You would have to love yourself at the same time as loving them, and so you do not love them, because to love them you'd have to love yourself. And so you hold back your love of others because you don't want to love yourself. You are unwilling to love yourself because you hate yourself. And Jesus tells us not to underestimate the sheer extent of this hatred.

Ultimately though, the key is, that by recognizing you do this attack to yourself, the secret of salvation can offer you a way out. By healing your relationship WITH YOURSELF, by allowing yourself to receive love, by loving your own self first, you will automatically see the world differently. You will see a forgiven world only because YOU are forgiven. You will see forgiven brothers only because YOU have forgiven yourself. You will see a reflection of God in the world ONLY because within you you have no sin and guilt and God (love) is accepted as present in your mind, and so is projected onto the world.

It seems incredibly simple when you get down to it. So much ego time is spent lost and confused and caught up in external problems and other people and dramas and all these projected forms of your own self attack, such that it makes it seem most of the time it's not even about you. But its ONLY YOU that needs to get healed FIRST, to accept atonement FOR YOUR SELF, so that you can in turn be available to heal and help others. To offer love to them, you have to have love to give, and you can't have love to give when you don't acknowledge your own lovability.

You don't even really need to deal with trying to "forgive others" or to "forgive the world" or to "be more loving toward people". What you really need to focus on is getting your self to be more loved, by YOU. To find out why your relationship WITH YOURSELF is broken. To find out why and where you hate yourself, how you are denying yourself, and why you don't want to admit to being God's beloved child. All the rest is an ego distraction and a form of denial, an attempt to pass the buck and make the problem be outside your mind so that your own self attack remains hidden.

When YOUR mind gets corrected, your PERCEPTION will get corrected too. "Perception is a RESULT, not a cause". Perception doesn't even need to be "worked on". There is a massive amount of distraction with people thinking that they have to fix and shift their perception. You cannot DIRECTLY shift perception because it is a SIDE EFFECT. Spiritual perception is a RESULT of fixing YOUR BELIEFS about YOURSELF. It's what you sense AFTER you have looked within and have projected your inner world outward. As a man thinketh, about himself, so does he perceive.

This is all an inside job. YOUR MIND has shit in it that needs healing. All the world related to your self and the healing of yourself is entirely within you. You can use holy relationships or guidance or whatever else help along the way but ultimately, simplifying it greatly, Jesus is just asking you to 1) get yourself back to love and 2) then you'll share that love with others automatically.

Love goes out automatically because of its nature, and you don't even need to make it do that. It has its own function to do that. You just need to stop blocking it. And you do that by forgiving yourself for what YOU have not done. When you see your own sinlessness you'll see the sinlessness of your brother. When you see your own innocence you will see his. Once you do that, the rest will take care of itself. Seek the Kingdom of God within you and the whole world will be made forgiven.

The world was made to die. It is hell. Bad shit happens, sooner or later. Everything breaks down, suffers, dies in the end. It's an insane world.

However.

When a whole shit ton of bad shite happens, and it keeps coming, at first it seems to attack all the defenses you made against its nature. All your safeties are called into question. All your values are turned upside down. Everything you held dear is threatened. All your expectations that the world can be a great place are shattered. All the bodies that you valued highly are threatened.

You don't realize it at the time but this is a transformation and it's leading somewhere quite useful.

Later when the dust settles, the world has left a very bad taste in your mouth. You think perhaps that you should heal from this by undoing everything that the world did to you, except that you start to notice something.

By turning to vengeance and brutality and cruelty and despair the world (ego) revealed its true nature. It shoved its deadliness in your face. It taunted you with its unfairness and harmfulness. It opened up a chasm of hell and all the voices of sin roared up in front of you. While temptation tried to lead you deeper still into its suffering dirge.

And so now, you got a really good look at the shit hole that it is. It stopped being so hidden and all its fucked-up shite just flew out in the open. And it was hell, but then you noticed.

This is how the world is. Not just "this time". Not just "because it has a grudge against you personally". It's how it ALWAYS is.

And through its destruction of your defenses against this fact, and though its deterioration of the ways this is usually hidden from view, you see the world now more squarely. It's more obvious that it simply, fundamentally, sucks ass. Because it was designed to.

And now a new awareness starts to dawn on you.

While you might've tried to escape from hell's onslaught and veer off into coping mechanisms and avoidance and denial, grasping desperately at the rose-tinted glasses in attempting to scrape together some kind of normality, all of this was brought into question.

And now instead of moving in the direction of trying to dress up the world again, to make it home again, to repair the breakdown, to create another illusion of safety in the midst of turmoil, you instead shift direction.

You notice that you've been doing this your whole life. Building up defenses against death. Believing the world can be a great place to be. Trying to assemble a home to shut out the brutality and attacks of the outside world. Forming special relationships and allegiances to defend against the enemies. All this hiding. All this defending. All this avoiding. It comes to a halt.

And now you realize it wasn't just that the world COULD be a great place, and you just weren't very good at making it one, it's actually that there's a much bigger thing going on here. The world is DESIGNED TO FAIL. Over and over again. It is HELL BENT on death and destruction. It WANTS to end and it wants to end you. This is is NATURE. But no-one told you that, and everyone taught you of its illusory virtues and hopeful outcomes and partial loveliness.

It wasn't you. It wasn't just your efforts and your denials. It's the world. It's not just something you did wrong that kept making things fail. All the times you hoped that things would be better. All the wishful thinking. It was all pointless given that the world, itself, was ALWAYS going to end in the dirt.

And now the disguise has been taken off. The world's bullshit has slapped your face rather too openly, and now you are no longer in the business of defending IT, or dressing IT up to be something pretty, or imagining that ITS nature is fundamentally good. No more trying to turn the world into heaven or expecting that it CAN be that.

There is now a willingness to recognize, to accept, this world just wants to die. And it's always dying. And everything in it dies. It's not you, it's not even personal. It's just how the world is. It's it's nature. Kill or be killed, and kill anyway. This whole planet is going to turn to dust someday, or the sun will explode and destroy it. That's a fact. This is the inevitability of the wages of sin, in a world driven by laws of death.

In a way, the world's onslaught has done you a favor. It's brought into question all your little home-making defenses and all your special values and things you liked about it. It's ripped your life apart and destroyed your idol worship. It's shown itself it be cruel, desperate, unfair, brutal, vicious and deadly. And it cares not. Because it can't do anything but make everything die.

So now you know. Your eyes have been opened. No more denial about this world being a pretty bundle of icecream and kittens. This is the recognition that the world IS hell. It's NOT your home. It's designed to make you suffer and all things in it are cruel and tempt sin and guilt.

"The body's eyes are therefore not the means by which the real world can be seen, for the illusions that they look upon must lead to more illusions of reality. And so they do. For everything they see not only will not last, but lends itself to thoughts of sin and guilt. "

You had taught yourself that this world was your home. You taught yourself it could be heaven. You taught yourself things in it didn't have to die. You taught yourself you could avoid and resist and deny all you want, but eventually it still turns to shit, and there seems to be nothing you can do about it.

Form, flesh, appearances, bodies, animals, nature, planets, galaxies, it's all part of a system of death. Take the veil off. Lift away the lies. See through the temptation to believe otherwise. Undo the confusion, in which you thought this world was heaven. Reverse the lies, in which you thought there was truth and reality and holiness to something which is just a dream of nothingness. See the world for what it IS.

The world is just an illusion of a world, the hell you made, an opposite to life, and designed to do nothing but destroy God's son. There is no way out of it except through forgiveness. There are no roads made of its hellish substrate that lead out of it. Everything dies here. It's what it does. Spacetime makes sure of that.

Recognizing this is seeing through illusions, not being deceived and learning. While hell came to take the truth from you, all it ended up doing was exposing itself. And now that you've had a good hard look at its desperate sucky ness, you can see it's not the dressed-up doll you thought it was. And that's a good thing. You now recognize it's made to die, so you can stop trying to run away from this, or expect otherwise for its forms.

You can indeed certainly become miraculous and overthrow all this, demonstrating that all this can be changed BECAUSE its an illusion. You can show that you are under the laws of ANOTHER world. You can demonstrate this world's fundamental bullshit by reversing its bullshit. But the world is what it is. And it will end because it never really began.

Perhaps the light at the end of the tunnel, or the "gift" that has come of this passage through darkness, is that you can now see, without the blinders on, what this world really is like. And seeing that sets you free, because only denial keeps you bound to the lies. And recognizing the world's nature gives you power over it. It is ONLY what it is, and nothing else. It is ONLY an illusion, not a reality. It is ONLY a dream of death, NOT real life. There is nothing in it worth having or that you want, because everything you really want and value is of God. And that lives in another world.

A course in miracles never mentions the phrase "shift in perception" except in the following paragraph, which is actually a paragraph heavily focused on how miracles relate to TIME. Whenever the Course mentions miracles, there is no trace of any reference to shifting of perception anywhear near it or in the same context.

Here is the only time it says "shift in perception":

"The miracle minimizes the need for time. In the longitudinal or horizontal plane the recognition of the equality of the members of the Sonship appears to involve almost endless time. However, the miracle entails a sudden SHIFT from horizontal to vertical perception. This introduces an interval from which the giver and receiver both emerge farther along in time than they would otherwise have been. The miracle thus has the unique property of abolishing time to the extent that it renders the interval of time it spans unnecessary."

Now. What IS horizontal perception, and what is vertical perception?

Horizontal perception is believing in the appearance of the ego world as though it is real, as though there are causes within the world which produce effects within the world. It means you believe in level confusion, magic, victimhood, and all the other signs of the ego. It means you believe and see that something outside of you, to the side of you, has "caused" effects in your life. This is an illusion and it is not true.

Vertical perception is a shift in VIEWPOINT, and a shift into a different state of mind, into the Right Mind, which THEN PERCEIVES the true order of the levels, and the truth that mind is cause and the world is effect. It is a recognition of where the ego shit is coming from. Who is the dreamer. It is a pretty profound BIG shift to go from horizontal perception to vertical. Your little shifts in perception are NOT IT, but they may lead to it eventually.

To get into the right mind is NOT something you are going to be able to do when you start applying forgiveness. It is not something you will even barely be able to do until much later.

Further, Jesus is miraculous right now, and yet he is awake all the way. He has no illusions left to get rid of. There is nothing in his "perception" that needs shifting. Yet he is miraculous, right now. Awake and miraculous. If a miracle is a "shift", if it is the "shifting itself" that is miraculous, then he would be INCAPABLE OF any miracles since he has nothing left to shift. Or in other words, miracles would only be possible FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT YET LOVING AND MIRACULOUS.

This is a complete 180 degree flip, by the ego, based on how *IT* interprets what a miracle is, as part of ITS DEFENSE against miracles. IT thinks that IT does something which causes ITS perception to change, dualistically, from one illusion to another, to a preferable illusion, and that this is "miraculous". Fuck that. It is not even slightly miraculous. It would mean that a person just BEGINNING to apply the course, in their very first CORRECTION of perception, would BE A MIRACLE WORKER. That could not be further from the truth. No-one at the BEGINNING is a miraculous as at the END.

Miracles are also expressions of love. Is someone who has accepted a LITTLE BIT of truth, loving? No. They are only slightly less hateful. Are they expressing unconditional love before, during, or after their "shift"? No. Not until much later. Much, much later. Therefore they are not "expressing love" yet, and therefore are not miraculous.

Also the course says "Miracles are everyone’s RIGHT, but PURIFICATION IS NECESSARY FIRST."

You CANNOT perform miracles until you have done a shit load of purification work. That purification work, IS the work of "shifting perception" towards the truth, it IS the work of accepting CORRECTION of your perception. But it is not the "being corrected" or the "purifyING" that is miraculous.

Purifying the mind is a long slow process. It can take years even lifetimes. These things LEAD TO the development of the ability to be miraculous. Otherwise, hey, anyone picking up a course book can suddenly walk on water, proving the ego’s "horizontal perception" laws are bullshit? I think not.

Being miraculous is your inheritance, it is NATURAL, and it should be the way you are ALL THE TIME. And you WILL NEVER LOSE THE ABILITY to be miraculous when you wake up. Jesus is miraculous NOW, even though HE is completely without any ego to shift. Miracle-mindedness is quite an advanced state of mind. It’s not something watered down and insignificant like some person having a private little change of mind. Miracles are BIG ASS profound demonstrations of the power of the mind!

Miracles are also expressions of love and they are expressions of the atonement. They express FROM the atonement, and from the Christ mind. They do not express FROM THE EGO, nor do they express as part of your purification work. But they may start to express as a RESULT of your purification work after some time, but only because you are becoming WILLING to RECEIVE them. THEY happen because you LET GOD HEAL YOU, not because "you" - your ego - did a little bit of work.

The purpose of purifying and correcting perception is TO REMOVE BLOCKS TO AWARENESS of Love’s presence. To remove the BLOCKS. Not to "make love happen". You UNCOVER love. You reveal it. You allow it to shine. You put aside your denial and your fear and you ALLOW love to love. This is not something you do as a one-off. It is not something you ONLY do when you are "shifting". It is your NATURAL STATE which is buried under piles of shit in your mind. It takes a lot of dgiving out before it even starts to become apparent that it is there, OR that you become able to LET IT EXPRESS.

When love is uncovered, it is free to express itself. Jesus describes this automatic outpouring of love, which comes AFTER a LOT of purification, here:

"The only way to heal is to be healed. The miracle extends without your help, but you are needed that it can begin. Accept the miracle of healing, and it will go forth because of what it is. It is its nature to extend itself the instant it is born. And it is born the instant it is offered and received. No one can ask another to be healed. But he can let himself be healed, and thus offer the other what he has received."

So you have to do quite a lot of "work" before you’re going to uncover love enough that it can go about doing what it does through you. IF you are blocking it, it cannot extend through you. Love MUST extend through you to perform a miracle. "Miracles cannot be accomplished in a spirit of doubt", so if you just did your little "shift" for the day and bemame SLIGHTLY more loving, but are still riddled with fear, YOU DEFINITELY ARE NOT performing miracles that day.

Miracles express from a higher level of mind, like drops of healing rain, falling down upon those that need healing and life. They express the VERTICAL perception, which is quite DIFFICULT to get into fully when you have a lot of ego to sort out. Getting squarely into the right mind, consistently, is pretty advanced and most of us are nowhere near it. I know I’m not, and I have not seem much evidence of many others being there either. Where’s the miracles?!

Since being miraculous is a NATURAL PART OF LOVE, because all expressions of love are miraculous, and because love has life-giving properties, a miracle can only "shift your perception" through a healing that you RECEIVE from God. IT comes "down" to where you are, frees you from a bunch of fear, and therefore you naturally rise up closer to God. But the miracle itself is not your rising up. The miracle is the expressing of love. The miracle is what is coming TO you from God TO heal you SO THAT you might become closer to Him and join him in being loving. You can’t give love if you haven’t received it.

So the shifting, as most people think of it and use it, that shift is not miraculous AT ALL. Not in itself. If it comes about because of an actual MIRACLE being experienced and received, which may only occur when you ACCEPT ATONEMENT to some degree, then the shifting is a SIDE EFFECT of the miracle doing what it does.

Shifting "into" vertical perception first and foremost is not the miracle itself. Shifting TO that perception is required BEFORE the miracle is possible. Once you get INTO that perception, THEN miracles can express, because only then are you willing to receive them. They express FROM vertical perception.

During an intense, drawn out forgiveness process I was practicing on myself, which Holy Spirit was helping me with, the first time that I became willing enough to drop false beliefs to go ALL THE WAY to the atonement principle, and accept, however dimly, that somehow I MUST be innocent still because sin did not happen..... which was only like a year ago after practicing the course for 15-odd years, that was the FIRST TIME that Jesus said to me...."NOW you will be able to perform miracles." It took a LOT of purification for me to become willing enough to "go there", to get into the right mind and perceive from it, just for a short time, as a glimpse of truth. TO receive LOVE from God for the first time.

So miracles are not shifts in perception. They are a permanent WAY OF BEING that is natural to all of God’s creations. They are what naturally happens when love expresses. When love is blocked, "something has gone wrong", causing miracles to NOT HAPPEN. Having blocks to awareness is this problem. MANY BLOCKS must be removed before love is even remotely going to be able to flow through you. IT takes a lot of development of TRUST and willingness and fearlessness to become miracle minded.

Being miracle minded is a A FINAL NATURAL STATE of mind, not a little blip along the way. And if you have fears, particularly FEARS OF MIRACLES, they will not be happening. And MANY people are very afraid of miracles.

The watering down of miracles has come about largely through this error (Holy Spirit’s word) of thinking that a miracle is "only a shift". If a miracle is only a shift, when the shift is done, there is no more miracles. Meaning, love, which is always miraculous, would have to stop being love. This is clearly mistaken. Believing miracles are shifts, is a FANTASTIC WAY to KEEP REAL MIRACLES AWAY FROM YOU in fear and in an unwillingness to entertain the possibilities that miracles present. It happens because people are afraid of the power of the mind and want to keep the course nice and tidy and quiet, studied in private and kept behind closed doors. LET THE MIRACLES OUT!

It should also be noted, that you cannot become loving without becoming miraculous. Miracles are inherent to expressions of love. Not just some.... oh I feel warm and fuzzy about you.... we’re talking about massive POWERFUL love here. The Power of God, nothing less. "There is NOTHING your holiness cannot do." "All Power in heaven and earth has been given you."

By all means keep on a-shifting. It’ll purify your mind and help you to get out of the way of love. But then watch out. Love is going to start expressing, and some pretty law-defying, ego-breaking, "impossible"-seeming stuff is going to start happening. And you will WANT to perform these miracles because you are WILLING to receive them and therefore ACCEPT that everyone else is worthy of them also. "You can only give the miracles you have received".

Notice that this says you GIVE miracles. Notice also that several of the Miracle Principles talk DIRECTLY about miracles you perform FOR others. "Miracles are the maximal Service you can render to others". A SERVICE. Nothing to do with your little perceptual shifts. They are. Interpersonal expressions of love and healing and truth. And that does mean, you’re going to be going up to people and offering miracles of healing live and in person! ARE YOU SCARED OF THAT?! That’s a problem. That will keep miracles from happening. You have to go out on a limb to reach the fruit of the tree! Miracle working can be a RISKY business requiring a LOT OF TRUST!

Miracles are capable of raising the dead, reversing all sickness, undoing all suffering, solving all problems. There is nothing they cannot do. NOTHING. Make a big list of all the things you think miracles cannot do, then throw it away. Including the literal moving of mountains.

We are to be miracle workers. Love expressers. Divine beings. Healers. Light bringers. Saviors. Demonstrators of the truth. Anyone who REALLY believes the truth is true will be willing to ACT ON IT.

If you can "do a forgiveness" and get to where you can accept that the sin was not real, therefore didn't really happen, and that therefore you are still innocent, it will reveal something to you.

It will reveal that God is always loving you, does not believe you're sinful, and sees you as permanently innocent. When this is true, it must mean that God has always been this way, always loving you, always finding you innocent.

That means that God's will is already accomplished. He has already given life. He has already given forgiveness and love. He has already provided healing.

This then gives you a secret piece of the miracle-working puzzle, which is that God has ALREADY healed. His will is ALREADY accomplished.

A nice analogy I heard was that after the World War, even though peace was declared, some Japanese soldiers had not received the news that the war was over. They kept fighting, and going around killing people, for over 30 years. They didn't get the memo!

So it is similar with God. The war is already over. Jesus has already overcome death and has claimed the atonement for everyone. He recognizes nothing has happened, sin is not real, there is no death and no world. That's why He came to tell us this.

And yet, here is this "world", which seems to be a bit lagging behind the news. It hasn't quite got the memo. The people still think there is a war going on. There are still people who believe that sickness and sin and death are real, and are still defending themselves against an enemy that isn't even there.

People are still producing defenses against the truth, people are still creating sickness, people are still at war, and it still *seems* like the war is not over yet. But according to God, the war is definitely over, and never even really began! We just didn't get the memo.

So this applies to how we work miracles. Part of the miracle entails the recognition that God's will is already accomplished, that healing has already been given, that God does not change His mind, that God isn't deciding whether to heal or not, and therefore, we need to focus on and believe that the miracle HAS been accomplished. That it WILL be received. Sooner or later.

All that we're kind of doing now is a cleanup job, tidying up loose ends and bringing the "good news" to people to tell that the war is already over. They can be pretty entrenched! Still believing heavily that the battle is still waging and that it might actually be won or lost, by themselves or the enemy. It's not true.

Miracles bring the news of God's truth into this world, albeit an illusory world, to infuse it with light and help to dispel, heal, and clean-up the mess left by the conflict. As in Heaven so on Earth. This doesn't as such mean the Earth is heaven or that it will remain, just that Heaven will appear to "descend" here as everyone becomes awakened in Christ, and then the whole place will fill with tremendous light and vanish.

So... miracles... the result is already accomplished... this is a key to proper prayer, focusing on the receipt and the knowing that it must be true because God already willed it. You're not making new laws, you're just enforcing the law.

The war is over.

If you are upset for some reason, there is something in you already which is not at peace. Some part of your mind is identified with ego, having an emotional reaction, or perhaps something is coming up for release.

If you are then exposed to a person whose behavior seems to be in some way provocative, a potential attack, or something that your ego does not like, you are much more likely to experience that person as causing you to be upset.

Or rather, because you're not on a firm footing of certainty and peace, and your mind is unhappy, you are much more susceptible to your pre-existing upset coming up in your face.

When you are upset your ego sees itself as vulnerable, a victim, under threat, and being caused from outside. It is then very easy to slip into that kind of perceiving where you think the other person is doing something to you.

And since you're already upset, it will cause your pre-existing upset to come up even stronger. You'll think they are pushing your buttons. They sort of are, but the result of pushing the button is that YOUR stuff comes up inside you, not stuff that THEY put there.

When you are upset already, other people will seem upsetting, and you will react to them. When you are not upset already, you will be much more detached and it is far harder to be provoked.

Every time that I am already upset for some reason, if someone does or says something *potentially* upsetting, I am much more likely to have reactions of victimhood, where I'll start to quickly project my shit onto them, treat them poorly, and react to them like they're doing something to me.

But later, if I'm honest, I'll recognize that I wasn't really upset with that person... I was ALREADY upset. My upset wasn't their fault. I reacted poorly. I was not clear about the truth. I had slipped from a firm footing onto a slippery slope, and had become confused about who was doing what to whom.

I notice this again and again. If I am upset already, I seem to be more upsettable, and I'll think it's someone else that's wrong. Yet if I'm not upset, the person can do or say the same things and it has no effect.

It is the hurt ego which reacts. It's the hurt ego that sees itself as vulnerable. It's the hurt ego - the pain - that responds with attack, perceiving attack where there really is none.

If I had no upset whatsoever and were perfectly at peace, nothing would be ABLE to upset me, because I would have nothing that is already upset to react WITH. That is invulnerability.

If you'll take a look, willingly, for a while, you'll notice that everything in the world goes wrong sooner or later.

The food goes moldy. The leaves die off. The cars break down. The tv stops working. The shoes develop a hole. The carpet gathers dirt. The river drowns someone. The volcanos explode. The lightning strikes a cow. Suns go supernova etc.

Do you notice a trend? If you look for long enough without denial?

Are you expecting these things not to happen?

What part of life is it that gets our hopes up that these things won't occur? Have we become clever at building an illusory sense of safety, a little oasis in the desert, a barricade against death?

Jesus says the main purpose of special relationships is to draw a little circle around a portion of hell to keep attack out and create an illusion of safety within. Why do we do that? Some kind of denial that the food is going to go moldy, the house windows are going to break, the trains are going to rust, the babies are going to die?

We find ourselves in this hellish world we made which, if you sit and look at it, you can see it "dying" all the time. If you take off the rose tinted glasses, the hopes and dreams, the wishful thinking, the defenses, the attempts to protect yourself from its onslaught, just sit and watch it. Everything dies here sooner or later.

That isn't pleasant. It's not pretty. It's built into the system.

We can be quite heavily in denial of this. In fact there's a whole lot of motivation and activity in the world geared towards brushing this fact under the carpet. The denial of it, while you go pursue successful careers and happy families and build your houses on ground that will, eventually, swallow them up.

I'm not trying to be morbid here, or negative. I'm not passing any judgement. Just look at it. This is what the world is like. Do we want to stay in denial of this? Do we want to keep pretending it's not how it is, and keep running away from death? Not that we should run towards it either, but we have to be willing to recognize what this world's nature is without flinching.

Jesus says "The world is false perception". He also says "without the idea of death there is no world." He also says "The body's eyes are not the means by which the real world can be seen." and "Only the body makes the world seem real."

What this tells you is that this world, which is always in a state of death and dying and decay, is fundamentally ONLY existing in a state of FALSE perception. And when you move toward true perception, opening the spiritual eye, and seeing with Christ Vision, you are looking using a non-body apparatus, a non-false apparatus, a true perception, which looks past this world entirely and looks to reality. And in that reality this world doesn't exist, because you can only see it when your mind is in error. Because it's an hallucination.

The world was made to be the opposite of life. It's a dream of death. It's not a dream of life. It sometimes appears to contain illusions of life, spring, birth, renewal, regeneration, growth and so on. But these are all illusions. Flowers all die in the end, that's a fact. There is no life form anywhere that lives forever. Everything is always transitioning from spurts of what appear to be life, towards death. That's what the world does. It's built in, fundamental to its nature.

Do you think you can make this world stop doing that? By all means you can override this behavior through miracles, because the power of the mind trumps false perception and can easily change illusions. But nevertheless the world will still keep dying, destroying, eating and consuming everything else. It denies even its own existence and is against itself. The world is suicidal. This whole universe is.

The ego has a massive effort to try to save the world. It's a farce. The effort is to suggest that a world which is fundamentally made of death can be made to live. That death can be avoided, even though all its efforts to avoid death attract it and make it real. The world only contains a seeming mixture and the living and dying because we introduced an "opposite to life" into our minds and now try to live in a contradictory world where both life and death happen. And now we've made both life and death into an illusion.

Even as you awaken towards true perception, people will still continue to experience body death and sickness. There will still be wars. In case you didn't notice, doing the workbook does not cause the workbook to disappear. Nor does it change much what's on the news. Pandemics have happened in the lifetime of ACIM students. Because they do, because they're part of this world's functioning. This world has a function of failure and that does not change.

The effort to make this world change or to turn it into a physical form appearance of heaven, is impossible. It's an attempt to spiritualize an illusion and turn a illusion into something real and sacred and worth keeping. If you could do that you'd be stuck in hell forever with no reason to go home. You can't make an equivalent as attractive as God's creation. As Jesus says:

"This aching world has not the power to touch the living world at all. You could not give it that, and so, although you turn in sadness from it, you cannot find in it the road that leads AWAY from it, into another world. "

There are no roads, in hell, that lead out of hell. Darkness cannot become light while keeping the darkness. Ego cannot turn itself into holiness. Death cannot be alive. And non-existence cannot take on an existence. It's a closed system.

Life isn't here. Life is in heaven. If you want to be where life is, you go to where life is. You don't try to polish up a turd and turn it into something special. Your home and your natural environment are in the Kingdom with God, where you were designed to be. You cannot be comfortable in another world that's alien to you. This world is an alien world and the people on it are all aliens.

Can we let it be what it is, recognize its shortcoming, and turn away from it to the light, knowing that "this world holds nothing that I want"? Can we recognize its offerings of idols, pleasures, toys, temptations, treasures, as nothing but scraps of hell that we do not really want? And can we recognize as Jesus says that you CANNOT really WANT the world? Not really. It's fundamentally lacking.

We are to forgive the world, and shine a light of truth upon it, and recognize it for what it is WITHOUT the judgement that "sin is real" or "its really hell". But this merely lifts away from it any confusion about what it is. We then recognize it is simply false and nothing and not your home. A world of illusions. Not really sinful, not really anything. But not your home. You can love it, unconditionally, but you can't be in love with it if you want to be with God.

The world is dying. It was already dead when we made it.

"This world you see MUST BE DENIED, for sight of it is costing you a different kind of vision. YOU CANNOT SEE BOTH WORLDS. For each of them involves a different kind of seeing, and depends on what you cherish. The sight of one is possible because you have DENIED THE OTHER.

Both are not true, yet either one will seem as real to you, as the amount to which you hold it dear. And yet their power is NOT the same, because their real attraction to you IS unequal. You do not really want the world you see, for it has disappointed you since time began. The homes you built have never sheltered you. The roads you made have led you nowhere, and no city that you built has withstood the crumbling assault of time. Nothing you made but has the mark of death upon it. Hold it not dear, for it is old and tired, and ready to return to dust even as you made it.

This aching world has not the power to touch the living world at all. You could not give it that, and so, although you turn in sadness from it, you cannot find in it the road that leads AWAY from it, into another world. But the REAL world HAS the power to touch you even here, BECAUSE YOU LOVE IT. And what you call with love WILL come to you."