There are two versions of this answer.
One relates to conditional love. If God has certain conditions which must be met in order for you to be worthwhile loving, then if you don't meet those conditions you aren't worthy enough. This makes you think that in order to become worthy you have to meet certain conditions, or turn yourself into a more lovable person. And also you believe that if you aren't meeting certain conditions, this PREVENTS God's love.
But then there's unconditional love. If God loves you unconditionally then it doesn't matter what your current state is, or what you think you did, or whether you're awake or sleeping. God is loving you 100% regardless. This means he must be overlooking everything you think would keep you from Him, and instead sees the REAL YOU.
Being worthy of God also means that God wants what you are or what you represent. It means God shares the view of you that you have of yourself. And it also means that your worthiness is lofty enough to be attractive to Him.
When you believe you are unworthy, it is a form of denial which attempts to shut God out, because if you didn't, you wouldn't be able to believe you are unworthy. So you have to pretend you're not. But it is only pretend. You can never be ACTUALLY unworthy, you just think you are.
Also to be worthy of God means that God values you and wants you and welcomes you. If you think there's something about you that proves that God wouldn't love you, maybe you're too ugly or have too many grievances or don't like your job or whatever, maybe you hold this up as the reason why God wouldn't love you. But it isn't proof. It's a mistake. And it is an incorrect answer.
God can't stop finding you worthy because God is constantly creating you, choosing you, sustaining you, loving you, extending you and protecting you. You came FROM God, because He decided he would extend love, as love, as you. Your very nature, your foundation, is love. If you came FROM God then obviously you ARE what God wants, because God wouldn't be in the business of creating something he doesn't like. He only creates with love. So you must be lovable.
Your belief that you're not lovable is the only problem. You think there's some reasons why God doesn't love you. None of those reasons are the truth and none of them have the power to stop God's love. You think they can, but they don't. You can hate yourself to death but God still loves you. And then He's like, ok, are you done playing now? It's time for dinner.
Recently I was in the car driving home from getting food, and felt this kind of tension or frustration with people. I was in a certain mood and decided to suddenly start telling everyone that I love them. Of course.. from inside the car, traveling at speed, with the windows shut ;-)
I felt like there had been just years and years of people passing by without being loving, people turning their faces away, people avoiding each other in guilt, a lack of connection, a lack of expression. That it had boiled up to a certain point where it just seemed like I wanted to grab ahold of everyone and shake them and tell them I loved them.
So I someone broke the mold and started shouting at everyone I saw, passers by on the street, people driving cars, people in store windows, that I loved them. Of course, inside the car, with the windows shut ;-)
It felt like a relief, to at last have a normal, love-based expression come out toward people in spite of their refusal to be loved or their own lack of love expression. It was like, someone has to say something. I couldn't tolerate any more the cold shoulder and the spiritual poverty. So I forced some love out. And it felt really good.
In fact it felt so good, such a relief, it was like taking years of rejection off my shoulders. And it made me laugh so much for a long time. It seemed so funny and freeing.
I think in a way this was one of the recent steps I've been going through in "breaking through" the barriers of conditional love, and ego hierarchy, and moving towards unconditional love. Loving when it doesn't seem called for, or even wanted. And loving just because... it's natural and healthy and everyone is supposed to be doing it all the time.
This world is really constipated. It's needs love but rejects love. We can't keep ourselves bound by these chains. We have to break free.
The nature of the mind is completely opposite to the nature of the body.
Mind is inclusive and expansive. It is everywhere and is shared by everyone. Everyone is one in mind. Mind is collective and joined. It reaches out and extends and creates. It knows no limits and isn't confined to any location. It is endless and immortal. Your mind is shared with other people's minds and they're all joined together.
Body is exclusive and restrictive. It is only in one place at a time and is not shared by anyone. One body is separated off from another body and kept apart by space and time. Bodies are singular and not joined, and they never can join. Bodies cannot create or extend themselves. They are limitations and are limited. The body is mortal and finite. The body is not shared with anyone else's body and all bodies are separate.
"It is only the awareness of the body that makes love seem limited. For the body IS a limit on love. The belief in limited love was its origin, and it was MADE to limit the UNlimited. Think not that this is merely allegorical; for it was made to limit YOU. Can you who see yourselves WITHIN a body, know yourself AS AN IDEA?"
The strange predicament that you have is that you seem to have both a mind and a body. This can go one of two ways. If you narrow your mind, move towards selfishness, believe in separation, exclude or isolate, imprison yourself or others, have an attacking attitude, move away from wholeness, deny your immortality, or in any way reject God, you are attempting to turn your mind INTO a body. To exclude and isolate and separate it off.
You're trying to separate yourself off and achieve the goals of the body. If you are trying not to share, to be selfish, to hoard, to possess or own, to be unlike, to be different and special, then you are forming a sense of self that is no longer infinite and unlimited. It forms a sense of self that is very reduced and isolated, excluded and cut off from others. And that is going to make you picture yourself AS a "body" - a limited self. And this produces the body.
This is body-identification. It's you aligning yourself with the idea of being a prisoner, isolated to a small speck of existence and kept away from everyone else. This happens when your mind is believing in what the body suggests is true, sees itself AS a body, and shares the "truth" of the body. By believing you are body-like, that your mind is physical, you are in a state of level confusion and delusion. The mind is trying to be forced into a tiny little container to limit it and shut out the wholeness of God.
"The body is a fence the Son of God imagines he has built to separate parts of his Self from other parts. It is within this fence he thinks he lives, to die as it decays and crumbles. For within this fence he thinks that he is safe from love. Identifying with his safety, he regards himself as what his safety is."
"The body is a tiny fence around a little part of a glorious and completely limitless idea. It draws a circle, infinitely small, around a very little segment of Heaven, splintered from the whole, proclaiming that, within it, is YOUR Kingdom, where God can enter not. Within this kingdom the ego rules, and cruelly. And, to defend this little speck of dust, it bids you fight against the universe."
Mind cannot function properly when you do this. Mind's natural state of completely expansive and infinite. It is shared and is everywhere at once. It has no limits and there is nothing it cannot do. But if you try to identify your sense of self as limited and mortal and restricted and partial and taking sides and being cut off from relationship and so on, you are trying to force the mind to be like a body. This is very unnatural for the mind. It does not belong in a little vessel of death.
The problem then is that on the one hand, you seem to have a body temporarily, and live in a world of separation. The physical world is entirely based on separation ideas. Thoughts of "here and not there". Thoughts of "this and not that". Thoughts of distance (space) and the past (time). Where even the presence of bodies can at times be rare and unusual. Where no two things are alike and nothing can really share anything.
So if you live a "life" as a body, in a body-oriented world, thinking in separate terms of "me not you", isolated and alone, not sharing minds or joining beyond the limits of the prison walls, then you are being limited "by" the body. Or rather you are choosing to use the body as a template for limitation so that the mind can see itself as a prisoner of spacetime.
It may then seem that in the world of bodies there is a certain "nature", that it's totally natural and normal for "body people" to live a certain kind of selfish lifestyle, where the body is the hero of the dream and the central figure, where everything revolves around one's own body and not others, where your whole experience is one of loneliness and isolation and wariness of other bodies. But this seems natural and normal and commonplace because "everybody" seems to be experiencing the same problems.
But this is wholly UNNATURAL for the mind. The mind is not designed to function as separate. It is not designed to NOT share. It is not designed for selfishness or limitation, for being locked into one place and not another, to be capable of only doing what the physical body can seem to do, or to have no powers or abilities that transcend the body's limits. Mind is not comfortable when it is limited to the body.
"To be without the body is to be in your natural state."
So you've got mind which is totally infinite and unlimited and shared and whole, trying to be forced to live in a a little tiny body which is finite and limited and unshared and unwhole. It's a very awkward situation. Now you seem to have to drag the body around to do a very limited amount of stuff, as if your mind has no power beyond it.
The challenge then becomes, while you're having a body, how do you transcend the body? How do you let mind return to being its natural expanded state? How do you let mind be free and not "a body", to not identify as a body, or see itself as limited BY the body? How do you get the mind to reach out and join and share with someone, in such a way that it HAS to DEFY the body? That it has to work AGAINST and DENY the body in order to be true to itself? The mind can only be natural when it is not allowing the body to limit it at all.
You can't achieve any kind of spirituality on a physical level. Bodies cannot join. The atoms will not allow it. Atomic forces will keep the two lumps separate. There is no oneness of bodies ever. Bodies do not communicate. Bodies do not share. Bodies testify to the ego's mantra of "I am separate and alone". They are prison-houses designed to separate off.
At best the body can be transcended and its limitations no longer limit the mind. But to do this the mind has to learn that it is NOT a body. It also has to realize therefore that the body is false and has no power OVER it, to cause it to be limited. This essentially means the body has to be recognized as NOTHING, and as MEANINGLESS. Either the mind is real or the body is real, and it cannot be both.
But really it means the mind must stop regarding itself as BODY-LIKE, must dis-identify FROM the body, and must extend outward, join, share, and experience oneness. It must unite with everyone and resume its natural function of equality and sharing and wholeness and love. It can only do this by not regarding itself as having any limitations, by not believing the body at all, and by not being tempted by anything in the world of bodies. To not believe it is finite or limited or mortal or alone.
So your mind has to decide whether to regard itself AS A MIND, or AS A BODY. It has to choose one or the other. Either it is unlimited or limited, either it is immortal or mortal. Either it is locked into a specific space and time or it is endless and eternal and everywhere. Either it shares with everyone or it is alone.
This is why waking up can seem so difficult, because you're living in an entire world of separateness while trying to NOT be separate. Trying to share and join and love, which has to BYPASS the body. Trying to have a vision which does not DEPEND on the body for sight, because the body CAN NEVER see reality. To be identified with spirit and not with flesh. To be in the world but not of it, and not LIKE it. To be opposite to the NATURE of the world, to the nature of the body, and to the nature of space and time. To be under only the laws of God, and not the laws of the physical.
It is therefore very awkward for us to have bodies, because they function totally opposite to how our mind functions. Their nature is totally unlike the mind's nature. They get in the way. They are obstacles which keep wanting to testify to truths which are completely false, and keep wanting to follow pathways toward death which are contrary to the mind's goal of life. The body's ways HAVE to be denied at some point through the proper use of denial, if mind is to be allowed to relax and be true to itself.
"The body is not the means by which the real world can be seen." "Yet, in the dreaming, has this been reversed, and ****separate minds are seen as bodies****, which ARE separated, and which cannot JOIN."
"You CANNOT join with anything EXCEPT reality."
"To be of one mind is meaningful, but to be of one body is meaningless. By the laws of mind, then, the body IS meaningless."
"A mind and body cannot both exist. Make no attempt to reconcile the two, for one denies the other can be real. If you are physical your mind is gone from your self-concept, for it has no place in which it could be really part of you. If you are Spirit, then the body must be meaningless to your reality."
"For your beliefs converge upon the body, the ego's chosen home, which you believe is YOURS. You meet at a mistake; - an error in your self-appraisal. The ego joins with an ILLUSION of yourself you SHARE with it. And yet, illusions cannot join. They ARE the same, and they are nothing."
"Learning must lead BEYOND the body to the re-establishment of the power of the mind IN it. This can be accomplished ONLY if the mind EXTENDS to other minds, and does not ARREST ITSELF in its extension. The arrest of the mind's extension is the cause of all illness, because ONLY EXTENSION IS THE MIND's FUNCTION. Block this, and you have blocked health because you have BLOCKED THE MIND's JOY."
"In Heaven God's Son is NOT imprisoned in a body, nor is sacrificed in solitude to sin. And as he is in Heaven, so MUST he be eternally and everywhere."
"God did not make the body, because it is destructible, and therefore not of the Kingdom. The body is the symbol of WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE. It is clearly a separation device, and therefore does not exist. The Holy Spirit, as always, takes what you have made and translates it into a learning device FOR you. Again, as always, it re-interprets what the ego uses as an argument FOR separation into an argument AGAINST it."
"Everyone can use his body best by enlarging man's perception, so he can see the real VISION. THIS VISION is invisible to the physical eye. The ultimate purpose of the body is to render itself unnecessary. Learning to do this is the only real reason for its creation."
"Real vision is not only unlimited by space and distance, but it does not depend on the body's eyes at all. The mind is its only source."
We don't want to ask for help. Because in our ego we think we don't need help. Because we think we're so amazing and masterful all on our own, that we can do everything on our own, and don't even need any help. This means we believe there's not even anything wrong with us, and that we're amazing super advanced beings already. But the fact is that we need to admit that we are LESS THAN PERFECT, having attacked ourselves and limited ourselves. And we are IN DENIAL about this. We don't want to admit that we suck.
Admitting it is frightening because it means realising that we're "not in a good spot". That we might even be believing we're in danger or are living in fear or are full of guilt or are sick or whatever. But ADMITTING this also means, your mind is going to accept that you DO NEED HELP. And only by recognizing that you are in NEED, will you be willing to ASK FOR HELP. Only by recognising that you are NOT DOING WELL, will you reach out, or acknowledge the fact that you cannot get out of this all by yourself.
Only by having that honesty to admit to failure and lack and not knowing how to get yourself out of it, resigning as your own teacher, will you ASK the Holy Spirit to help you. And then you will be WILLING with a little willingness to LET HIM help you, to let him heal you and guide you. If you can't admit that you are crap all on your own and you don't know what to do about it, you're never going to get to the point where you realize you need God to save you, in which you will turn to him.
People sometimes only reach this when they hit rock bottom and crash agains the rocks and realize they can't help themselves, which is an excellent thing to recognize because it finally means you surrender your egoic efforts to save yourself and become open to something from outside the ego. This is when we are wiling to admit ego defeat, ie failure, which is a GOOD THING, and can then crack open and let some light in from beyond the ego. This is when we want a better way, because our tolerance for pain and suffering has reached its limit.
Those who have suffered and have been tested and have failed and have realised the meagre limitation and powerlessness of their ego self, have been blessed with an opportunity to find God, to turn to him and to trust him. If we're not willing to "admit defeat", we'll just keep fighting ourselves all on our own and continue the suffering, trying to tolerate the pain and misery for as long as we can stand it.
"The misuse of will engenders a situation which, in the extreme, becomes altogether intolerable. Pain thresholds can be high, but they are not limitless. Eventually, everybody begins to recognize, however dimly, that there MUST be a better way. As this recognition is more firmly established, it becomes a perceptual turning-point. This ultimately reawakens the spiritual eye, simultaneously weakening the investment in physical sight. The alternating investment in the two types or levels of perception is usually experienced as conflict for a long time, and can become very acute."
"Salvation requires the acceptance of but one thought, you are as God created you, not what you made of yourself."
I'm seeing this is the vital key to salvation. To be saved you merely need to accept that you are in whatever condition God created you to be, you are only that, and you're not anything else.
It's like accepting an "off the shelf" solution. Letting God be the one who is the author of you, is the undoing of the authority problem. It is the acknowledgement that God is your creator and source, and that you have inherited from God. That you are only what he wants you to be.
It's a willingness to stop trying to define yourself, invent yourself, change yourself, establish yourself, or be the one who in any way has any say in who and what you are. It's a willingness to just accept a self, an identity, a nature and a condition, that someone other than you has given.
What you are was GIVEN to you, not made by you. Someone other than you, God, decided what you would be. He is the one who has the privilege of deciding what is true of you. Only he can create you. Only he can cause you. Only he has the authority to cause you to be what you are.
So this means you have to give up ALL efforts in trying to define what is true of you. WHO YOU ARE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Who you are is God's business. All you have to do is be willing to just be what you were appointed to be, what you were created to be. To be okay with trusting that God has done a great job of creating you to be perfect and that you're totally happy with that.
This is acceptance of atonement. Simply accepting the self God GAVE you to be. Being of God. Being only what he wants. Being fully wanted by him, and being willing to let yourself be wanted by him. Recognizing that you have never really had any say in who and what you are at all. You've only been denying who and what you are and pretending you can define yourself. Who and what you are has nothing to do with you.
Surrender your drive to keep redefining yourself, trying to convince yourself that you're something you're not. Resign as your own teacher, in this regard. Stop trying to teach yourself what you are and just accept that you are what God created. That you are as he created you to be still, and you have not changed since he created you. You're still the raw original fresh new self that God wills. You ARE THE WILL OF GOD.
All you have to do is find out who you really are, who you were created to be, what your given true nature is like, and simply "know thyself" as God intended. Just be you. Be the divine beautiful soul that God created you to be forever. And drop all efforts to be something else - a body, a separated ego self, a special self, a deprived self, a guilty self, a fearful self, all these other fake identities that you make up. Just be christ. Be what God wants you to be.
So there you are, saying "I must've created this" "I chose this" "I wanted this".
But the 'this' you refer to are all illusions. e.g. I must've chosen to be victimized by my coworker, I must've wanted this sickness, I must've chosen to be part of a thunderstorm, etc...
So if you're claiming responsibility for illusions, this can be the same as the ego MAKING IT REAL. i.e. ... I REALLY have chosen to be a victim, I REALLY must've wanted this sickness, I REALLY am responsible for being punished by the boss, etc.
Jesus speaks of this in the Course and how, in the beginning, we can really take this 'owning responsibility' very hard, because the ego is involved. He speaks of how the identification with the ego is what makes this a problem. He also advises to MOVE ON QUICKLY from this realization to actual CORRECTION with Holy Spirit. You don't have to dwell on what you've claimed responsibility for.
But even as you start doing this, you'll feel quite guilty because you think that YOU - ego you - have done all kinds of shitty things which you now have to own.
So, are you REALLY responsible for all the shit that's happened in your life? Are you REALLY responsible for all the crap that you put into your 'script' before you came to Earth?
To a degree, yes... in illusions, yes... inside of these choices, yes. BUT.... let's remember. ... nothing has happened.
So... you are not really responsible for making bad choices, you're not really responsible for making mistakes, you're not really responsible for making yourself be victimized or arranging attackers.
What you're REALLY responsible for is being as God created you, being innocent, being Christ, being holy, being whole and healed, being the light of the world, being forgiving, and being loving. That's what you really are responsible for.
So yes, to be Christ, you need to OWN IT.... and it may seem that as a step toward that you have to own your MISTAKES. ... but you have to keep it in perspective... all mistakes are forgivable because they have NOT REALLY HAPPENED. So you can't really, fully, totally be responsible for what's going on in the illusion, beyond that you chose poorly and forgot who you are.
So don't be hard on yourself for choosing poorly, quickly move onto the atonement, the fact that you have not REALLY done what you think you're totally responsible for. Yes you chose it.. but did you really? Do you REALLY have the ability to choose something other than God? Not really. You have the illusion of choice, which isn't really choice, so you haven't really chosen anything other than God.
Your only responsibility is to be.
"The body neither lives nor dies, because it cannot contain you who ARE life."
The body is not alive, and the body is not dead.
Life is eternal permanent life which sees no death.
The body seems to symbolise life by seeming to be what we call alive, for a while.
Then the body seems to symbolise what we call death.
But at no time is the body really alive, or dead. It is not permanent and does not last forever.
When it comes into being it is not really life or a life form. And while it seems to live it is not really alive. And when it seems to die it is not really dead.
But by not being really dead this does not mean that it is actually alive either. The body is not either alive, or dead.
The body is actually nothing, because it is an illusion in a dream. It sometimes seems like life, and sometimes it seems like death, but these are both made up meanings and labels given to something which is not really anything.
"In ANY state apart from Heaven, life is illusion. At best, it SEEMS like life; at worst, like death."
A person (body) who is dead was not alive prior to the death. The death is not the end of life, because the body was not really life to begin with.
A body in a dead state is actually not really any different to a body in a living state. Even when the body was seeming to be alive it was not really alive, and it was not really the person.
"As nothing, which it IS, the body cannot meaningfully be invested with attributes of Christ OR of the ego. EITHER must be an error, for both would place the attributes where they cannot BE. And BOTH must be undone, for purposes of truth."
The coming and going of a body says nothing whatsoever about the immortal spirit beings who temporarily use them from time to time. A person is no more alive or dead at any time because a person - a spirit being - can only be alive forever, and never dies.
"I came to tell them that death is illusion, and the mind that made the body can make another since form itself is an illusion. They did not understand. But now I talk to you and give you the same message. The death of an illusion means nothing"
In a world of bodies in which we are deceived and believe that bodies are people and bodies are alive and bodies must avoid death at all costs, we fear the end of the body. But we only fear its end when we are identified with the body and think we are the body.
Anyone who believes they are a body will be afraid because the body can be attacked, the body is always in a state of change and instability, and the body eventually will likely die. Or at least, will transform its form into a state that we have decided to arbitrarily call death. A death that we make out to be an enemy to be avoided at all costs.
"Life and death seem to be opposites because you have decided death ends life."
"They recognize that to behold a dream figure as sick and separate is no more real than to regard it as healthy and beautiful. Unity alone is not a thing of dreams."
There is then a resistance against the "death state" happening, because it's in the interests of body-identified people to stay in their bodies for as long as possible. And to keep others in their bodies for as long as possible. Leaving the body or the world is seen as a "very bad thing".
There is then a fear of the death state and a resistance against it happening and an attempt to avoid it at all costs. This entails digging in heels, pulling all the strings, being in denial, living in fear, and trying not to "die".
"As long as you believe that, to be with a body, is companionship, you will be COMPELLED to attempt to keep your brother IN his body, HELD THERE BY GUILT."
But all this really does is increase a sense of separation between the state of the seemingly living body and the state of the dead body, which increases the belief that an illusory world is real. It comes from body identification and an unwillingness to recognize that bodies were never alive in the first place.
When you are constantly trying to avoid "the end", you're doing so to preserve you "being in a body", and the deadly ending is seen as the termination of your self. If bodies are real then a person dying is seen as their extinction, beyond which they stop existing. They go down with the ship. There is no hope there. And if you see a person AS a body that dies, you MUST experience loss.
But by identifying a person as a spiritual immortal being who can never die, and who lives forever in life, and never really was a body, and never could be "alive" as one or dead as one, your mind is lifted out of the hellish nightmare of fearing death.
To fear death is really also to fear life, because you can't do one without the other. And if you are fearing life you are not really living. And living doesn't mean being a body as much as possible. It means being a body as little as possible, and eventually not at all.
No one who appears to be a body has ever really died, or lived. Bodies are not alive. They are illusions of life. Your mindset should not be catering to the social norm of trying to preserve body incarnation for as long as possible.
It should be recognising that souls use bodies only so long as they are useful for serving the soul's long-term multi-lifetime goal of reunion with God. When the body is no longer serving that purpose, the soul should leave, and this should not be seen as a tragedy.
Bodies are not the central core or heart of a person nor should everything revolve around whether they are there or not. They are temporarily vehicles to be used as tools for a while and then put aside while the soul moves on to something else.
When a person leaves the body they absolutely do not end or die or stop in any way. They are immortal timeless endless beings who live forever, and were never really the encounter suits that they appeared to animate while they showed up here. Bodies are not real, they are dream figures in a dream world. People are not bodies. Bodies do not really exist at all.
"At no SINGLE instant does the body exist at all."
"I am not a body I am free."
"Freedom must be impossible as long as you perceive a body as yourself. The body is a limit. Who would seek for freedom in a body looks for it where it can not be found. The mind can be made free when it no longer sees itself as in a body, firmly tied to it, and sheltered by its presence."
"To be without a body is to be in your natural state."
"The world is not left by death but by truth, and truth CAN be known by all those for whom the Kingdom was created, and for whom it waits."
"There IS no life outside of Heaven. Where God created life, there life must be. In ANY state apart from Heaven, life is illusion. At best, it SEEMS like life; at worst, like death. Yet both are judgments on what is NOT life, equal in their inaccuracy and lack of meaning. Life not in Heaven is impossible, and what is NOT in Heaven is not ANYWHERE."
"I am not a body. I am free, for I am still as God created me. All that I do, I do unto myself. If I attack, I suffer. But if I forgive, salvation will be given me."
If you get angry or start blaming and pointing a finger at someone, you perceive as if it really is "about them". You see them doing something, you judge "them" for it, and your mind starts attacking them. But here's the truth.
When you do this, ideas do not leave their source. You might perceive that you're successfully attacking a "separate person out there", but the attack is actually taking place INSIDE your mind. It isn't leaving you. And this has two key parts to it:
1) The attack is taking place inside your mind
2) The "target" of the attack is also inside your mind
So both the attacker and the one being attacked are IN YOU.
You might have a tremendous sense of disassociation in that it seems you are just blaming xyz person for something, casually and easily, but you may not be realizing that even when you're hurling abuse at someone who obviously is "in the wrong", you're basically having a PRIVATE SELF ATTACK, inside a private bubble, in your mind.
So all that attack that you're trying to get rid of through projection and blame, although it doesn't seem like, is actually part of your mind attacking another part of YOUR mind. Which means that you literally are attacking yourself. You think "that asshole cut me off in traffic". Well, your mind there is saying to ITSELF, that it is an asshole.
"You but accuse your brother of your own sins". It's simple and easy to say, but may not always be obvious to recognize as what you're doing. In every case, every way that you seem to be "able" to attack someone else without experiencing the seeming effects and consequences, you MUST be in denial, MUST be mistaken, MUST have disassociation happening in your mind, AND you are attacking ONLY yourself.
So this is the thing. Your angry attack on another is NOT really an attack on another. The idea does not leave your mind. The thought does not leave your mind. The source of the attack (the attacker) does not leave your mind. And the thing that is attacked does not leave your mind. So while it SEEMS like you're "not targeting yourself", YOU ARE. In every case.
Underneath the illusion that it's not about you, it's always about you. Always. 100% of the time. Every time you think you can "get away with" having someone else experience the effects of what you're causing, without you participating in those effects, you are mistaken. Not only do you participate in the effects, ONLY YOU participate in the effects
If that other person chooses to be innocent and invulnerable your mental illness attack has absolutely no effect on them. If they choose to laugh in the face of your attempted attack, it has no effect on them. Whatsoever. You could be sitting there screaming at someone thinking that you're successfully attacking ONLY THEM, they could be totally happy and at peace and immune to it, and YOU are the only one suffering. And it's not simply that you are suffering because you're being angry, you're suffering because you are actually the THING that you are angry AT. You are RECEIVING the attack. What seems to aim "outward" actually goes inward.
See, your mind isn't only inside your body. Your mind is everywhere. Infinite. Bigger than the universe. And when you have a split mind of self attacking conflict, you position part of your mind seemingly "outside of your body". You disassociate from it and believe it is not inside you, is not your self, and is in fact another separate alien willed person who is doing stuff "Against" your will. Well, it's actually your will against your will. Your will is in conflict with itself and having a war. That "external" target is squarely YOU, INSIDE your mind.
This is sobering. Because simply put, it means that it is not possible to even attempt to attack anyone without attacking yourself. It's not possible to blame without hurting yourself. It's not possible to be angry at someone without accusing yourself of sin. So at some point you have to realize, it's got nothing to do with anyone else ever doing anything to you. It's ALWAYS about you doing stuff to yourself. Each time you attack and project and THINK it's not about you, it is. Each time you are annoyed about someone, it's YOU that you're annoyed about. And each time you retaliate, it's against yourself.
Which means that you've been hurting yourself, all this time. And it's never been about anyone else. And every single time in your life that you thought you were simply justified in reacting to someone else's bullshit, you NEVER WERE, you were hurting yourself. Nothing ever left your mind. Every argument was with yourself. And the question is, are you tired of hurting yourself? Do you want to keep doing it?
If you would simply be aware of this, and realize and recognize it, you'd realize the simple Golden Rule. Whatever you try to do to others you do to yourself. Whatever you think is true of others is true of you. It has nothing to do with whether they reciprocate or not. You do to yourself what you would have yourself do to you. Others never do anything. They are never the cause of you. Ever.
If you realized that you could not ever make a single effort to attack "someone else" without it being 100% an attack on yourself, you would not do it. It would be insane to do it. If you knew that it's not possible to attack another without hurting yourself, you would not do it. It hurts too much.
If you knew that you can NEVER get away with murderous behaviors without hurting yourself, you'd see the sense in never even considering attacking, knowing that to do so would hurt yourself. It's a kind of self regulating thing. All you need is the awareness that you are in fact INCLUDED in, and the ONLY one included in, receiving the effects of whatever you're trying to cause.
So the question simply is, if you are aware of this and can stay aware of it, do you really want to keep hurting yourself? It is in your best interests to only love. It is in your best interests to only ever be loving toward yourself and others. You can't have one set of rules that apply to others and another for yourself. You can't have it be that you are loved while others are hated. Its BOTH, or NEITHER. Either both you and others are loved or both you and others are attacked. There is no escape. And the ego is the thing that suggests there IS a way to get away with this without any consequences.
There is no escaping consequences. Whatever you do you do to yourself. This is the secret of salvation. All you need is awareness to SEE that any slight mis-step against "another" is REALLY a mis-step against yourself, and you do not want to do that because it hurts you. And it splits your mind. Which makes you disassociate from yourself and imagine an enemy, which makes you project, which doesn't REALLY project at all. External enemies are indirect self attack from your mind to your mind.
You've never attacked anyone but yourself. No-one has ever attacked anyone but themselves. You've never been attacked by anyone other than yourself. You have the power not to attack yourself. To not attack yourself you must also not want to attack others, because the fantasy of being ABLE to attack others will make you hurt yourself under the belief that it's having no effect on you. Secret of salvation. You're doing it all to yourself. Stop hurting yourself. Love yourself. Easy peasy.
What you accept, you do not deny.
What you deny, you do not accept.
In order to awaken to reality, you must deny anything which is not real. And you must accept what is real.
Accepting what is real is the acceptance of the atonement. But this also goes hand in hand with denying what is not real.
If you deny what is real, and accept what is not real, you are in the ego thought system.
It is no more complicated than this.
"The denial of God is the ego's religion."
"True denial is a very powerful protective device. You can and should deny any belief that error (ego/dream/separation/world) can hurt you. This kind of denial is NOT a concealment device, but a correction device. The "Right Mind" of the mentally healthy DEPENDS on it."
Deny the world. Accept the Kingdom of God. That's all.
Refuse to accept illusions of sickness, suffering and death. They cannot be real because they are not part of the Kingdom.
Anything God did not create has no power over you. You must accept this. You should accept that only what God created is true. This is the acceptance of atonement and of your inheritance, and that you remain as God created you. Accept reality, deny unreality.
Accept truth, deny the false.
Accept heaven, deny hell.
Accept immortality, deny death.
Accept invulnerability, deny sickness.
Accept God, deny evil.
Accept love, deny murder.
Accept peace, deny suffering.
Accept innocence, deny guilt.
Accept yourself, deny what you are not.
FORGIVENESS, then, is really just a matter of getting your belief and mind into the right orientation. Where you ACCEPT only that which is of God as true, and DENY anything else. If your mind is in a state of accepting and recognizing REALITY, and denying unreality, you are miracle minded, which will force you to have true perception.
Another way of thinking about this is in terms of upside down or right-side up. The ego's thought system is upside down because it denies the higher reality and accepts the lower illusion. When you flip this and accept the higher reality and deny the lower illusion, your mind is "right side up". "it is the BEGINNING step in reversing your perception and turning it right side up"
"Readiness here means keep your perception right side up, (or valid), so you will ALWAYS be ready, willing, and able. These are the essentials for "listen, learn, and do." You must be READY to listen WILLING to learn and ABLE to do."
Forgiveness really therefore is quite SIMPLE, if you think of it solely in terms of what you are "accepting and denying". Accept only truth/God/reality/heaven and you'll be in a psychological state of right mindedness, with true perception and forgiveness. This require denying the world you made and recognizing it as false. Doing the opposite puts you into ego suffering.
I think one of the main reasons people seem to be homophobic, is just because we expect men to be men and women to be women. And if we ourselves are "straight" which largely means squarely or "purely" male or female and not a mix of the two, we project that onto everyone.
I think we become conditioned to think that there are only 100% males and 100% females. Then we project that onto people and expect them to comform to that.
When someone is more of a mix of gender traits, partly male, partly female, in whatever ways, it starts to fall outside of the standard "heteronormative" society model.
This is where a person starts to become offended, because whenever something seems to go outside of our beliefs, it registers to us as false. Whatever we believe or think is the acceptable standard is always regarded as true. When something seems opposite or doesn't fit with our truth, we judge it as false, and that also gets lumped in with negativity, evil, darkness, sin, guilt, perversion, rejection, etc. It's quite a basic mechanism.
So then if some man is partly female, but the model in the viewers mind is that they are supposed to be purely male, the person will seem to be violating the model. That will register as that they're not conforming to the norm, and are doing something they're not supposed to be doing. That registers as sin and violation and offence.
It's interesting that if a man is feminine and doing some things that a straight man would judge as wrong, but if you then ramped up the femininity of that man to the point where he turns into a complete woman, then the straight man suddenly would find no problem with them, because now they are conforming again to the model of strictly separate genders. So it's only the middle-ground where someone isn't entirely fitting into the strict model, that registers as an offence against the model.
This then leads to the viewer becoming offended, feeling violated, attacked, threatened, upset by the hideous creature they they see, which seems to be doing things and acting in ways that are not "normal" to them, or rather, not conforming to their model of what a man or woman is.
The problem really is that there is an expectation and a projection of the idea of what a man or women must be, and the ego especially likes to keep these extremely separated out. That you can be either one or the other, not both. "Not both" is the ego's standard function of "not God", because God's whole system of truth is based on both/and. The opposite of both/and is either/or, which the ego loves to uphold.
And indeed its sense of identity requires a strong contrast between exclusive opposites, in which the males try to keep the females outside of themselves so that they "know who they are" and have a firmer and clearer sense of identification with their gender. Or rather, so that their ego can stand out as being more separate and different, in order to have an identity, because the ego depends on opposition. And if you are not being "man enough" then you somehow are becoming too feminine and are stepping over the line.
If someone seems to fall outside of the projected model, it registers as false, evil, wrong, offensive, upsetting, an attack, violent against their very sense of identity. This does two things - it threatens the clarity of distinguishing who they are, in which they need to keep male and female separate in order to "exist", and secondly it seems to threaten the model of what a man or woman is.
This perceived violation is then interpreted as that the stranger is actually breaking rules, attacking their truth, going outside the bounds of what is acceptable into territory of "perversion", is seen as unnatural, vile and disgusting, can't be tolerated, and is seen as actually a direct attack upon the viewer and everything they stand for and are. Indeed if the person IS really purely a man AND then proceeds to act like a women, that would be register as an actual perversion.
Having perceived that the not-quite-straight person is threatening them and offending their ways, this then produces the perception of justified anger, because they feel actually literally under attack by the non-conforming person, as if that person will infect them, change them, influence them, invade their integrity, remind them of the fragility of their masculine identity, invade their boundaries, and do things to them which persons of a given gender are not supposed to be doing.
This can take on ridiculous forms such as fearing that the queer person will turn the kids gay just by living nearby, or radiate gay rainbow vibes into their minds, or have ultra evil sexual powers of lust after their treasured ones such that they'll be taken into a cult and subjected to satanic abuses, or that the queer person is simply am abomination against their God and breaking all the laws of heaven in a state of sin and madness.
So then they project hate and rejection onto the queer person, which they see as completely justified, because they've perceived that the queer person has attacked them first just by existing, and now this evil spectre must be destroyed in order to protect oneself. Which means the homophobia is seen as a justified and needed act of self-preservation based on fear. This is where the "phobia" part comes in, because the anger and abuse literally stems from a perceived fear, that something outside of what is acceptable is threatening to undermine their truth. Not just their truth, but their whole sense of identity and reality.
Because if a man can be partly not a man, and a woman can be partly not a woman, then that brings into question what is a man or woman, how are they defined, and how to distinguish a sense of self in the midsts of the seemingly "vague and muddy" mixture of gender and identity.
The ego would like things to be clear-cut, but the queer person is presenting a picture of something not so clear-cut, something which appears to be crossing over boundaries, "gender bending", breaking the ego rules of either-this-or-that, and corrupting the whole model of "man and woman produce male or female kids only." And now queerness is a boundary-violating attack upon families and marriage and religious institutions. And all this is is a concern for what happens when something transcends the rigid boxes that everyone wants to live in.
Really all of these reactions, which are just ego projections of a rigid model of identity, are only happening because the viewer lacks discernment and sees things in a very black-and-white exclusive and special way. They are not recognizing something, which is always the failing of the ego mindset. By not recognizing that the person is not JUST male or JUST female, and that people actually can be "not entirely one thing", there is no account made for people who seem to blend across the boundaries. And then "non-binary" is seen as the ultimate sin and rejection of all that is good and proper in the human race.
If they would open their minds from the closed-off either/or mindset of male/female strictness, which is closed-mindedness and a lack of spirituality, they would consider that some people (in body terms) are not purely male or purely famale, and that such people are completely acceptable and part of "nature".
If the viewer would then stop trying to force the person to be eieither man or woman, they wouldn't actually produce all the distorted reactions - which they do to themselves - that arise from trying to fit something into a box that it doesn't belong in. It's only because of the projecting of the "I know what a man is!" that a person requires someone else to conform to that.
There has to be an opening up to a greater repertoir of how many different types of human bodies there are, just as we have to open up to accept people from other countries and enthicities without judgement. And to then drop the expectation and conditioning that says you have to be one of only two things, and you must never be a mixture in any way. It's only those strict rules that give rise to a sense of the rules being violated, which then leads to the fear of invasion and the discomfort of being "pursued by a gay rapist", which then leads to the angry projections of guilt, which becomes homophobic abuse - all an attempt to maintain the ego.
If we could better recognize what people ARE, rather than what we think they SHOULD BE, we'll be better able to accomodate everyone and stop trying to force people to conform to a rigid tight little structure. The problem is really that egos are JUDEGMENTAL, and this judgement is always flawed and narrow and wrong.
Homophobia is actually just an expression of the regular ego doing its regular ego thing, just in the same way as any other conditioned belief which results in a sense of being offended by anyone or anything that outside of that belief - be it someone of another religion, another race, another gender, another color, size, hairstyle, whatever.
The fact is that the world is not black and white, it is not purely either/or, it quite often happens - though to less of a percentage usually - that there are exceptions to rules. Flowers that sometimes grow double heads, creatures which sometimes are half female and half male, humans that sometimes have a mix of sex-oriented organs, people with darker skin who become albino, people that are sometimes born as siamese conjined twins instead of separate bodies, etc.... nature isn't completely strict in its forms.
People only have prejudice against various aspects of the physical world when they think it's supposed to be a very very basic black-and-white model, where you have to be 100% this or 100% that. And as the mind believes strongly in separation the egotism emphasizes this contrast and exepcts everything to conform to it. And anything that deosn't is labeled as a sin. That's standard ego functioning, nothing special. It's unforgiveness. It's based on the belief that the world is absolutely real, and therefore separation is truth.
To be more forgiving we have to be willing to really look at what things are, not what we wish they would be, or what category they're supposed to fall into, or to judge them based on appearances while trying to fit them into neat little boxes. Some people are such a mix of things that you'd have a hard time even describing them accurately. In the past society was much more recognizing of the fact that everyone is to some degree bisexual, which is still true, even if people try to deny it.
Long story short, society needs to become more forgiving and learn that the human race isn't composed of pure men and pure women, but rather than absolutely everyone is at least to some degree partly both. All human embrios start out as female and even the males still have some trace of that in them. This is a world of relativity, in which nothing is absolute and nothing is extremely pure and nothing is completely separate. There is no real man or real woman. We are ALL hybrids, and everyone is queer. That's not wishful thinking etiher, that's the nature of spacetime.