"Although you have attacked yourself, and very brutally"

In the separation from God, each of us has condemned ourselves. We've accused ourselves of sin, and condemned ourselves to suffer. We want ourselves to be punished, murdered, and destroyed. Ultimately this is a death wish, in which we have become suicidal because we don't believe we deserve to live or to be loved by God. You might be thinking, suicidal? I'm not suicidal. Well think again.

At the same time as trying to destroy yourself to prove you don't exist in God, your true self is utterly sinless, guiltless, innocent, holy and pure. You have never sinned or hurt or commit a crime or broke a law. You have never done anything to anyone, and no-one has ever attacked you. You are immortal and eternal and endless and permanent. And no harm can come to you because God himself protects you.

"The Thought of God protects you, cares for you"

The problem is, there is a seeming "gap" between what is really true of you, and what you currently BELIEVE. And if you are not in touch with your utter immaculate sinlessness, then some part of you DOES believe you are condemned to hell. God isn't doing this condemnation, nor are your brothers.

It's all an inside job of your own self attack. It is your self destruction. And this is suicidal. Even though death isn't real, this needs to be undone because the belief in your non-existence keeps you from being happy.

Looking at what you are doing to yourself is not pretty. If you are not accepting your sinlessness, it means you are believing you are sinful. It means you don't love yourself. It means you actively attack yourself and are trying to destroy yourself. Such as in "my attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability." It means you don't really like yourself, yet alone love yourself with the love of God.

So now if you think about it in terms of the "relationship" that you have "with yourself", as if you could relate to yourself like a third party, how do you really feel about yourself? What is your honest current attitude towards yourself? If it's not one of total unconditional perfect love, then it isn't a very healthy relationship.

If there is a belief in being sinful, or evil, or a monster, or unworthy, or not good enough, or you resent yourself, or are angry at yourself, or keep judging yourself, or see yourself as weak, or hurt yourself emotionally or physically, or keep being abusive towards yourself, there are all signs of a breakdown in relationship.

And what that ultimately means is that you have not forgiven yourself. You're in this relationship with someone that you don't want to be with. And that is going to split your mind and hurt your mind. If you don't love yourself and embrace yourself with acceptance then how can you possibly relate to yourself at all?

Think of yourself as in the shoes of a person that you don't like in a similar way. If you don't like that person you don't want to be near them. You don't want to give them things. You don't want to share with them or spend time with them. You don't want them to exist. You don't care if they get hurt or suffer. You want them to suffer. And you may even feel so bitter towards them that you wish they were dead. Is that the relationship you are having with YOURSELF?

You have to look deep within yourself with much honesty to find this out. And it's probably going to be somewhat painful or even scary. You may not actually even realize or recognize that you have it in for yourself, or want yourself to suffer, because you may be so used to a general level of background destructiveness that you think it's totally normal. You might not have even seen how much you hate yourself.

"You who think you hate your bodies, deceive yourselves. YOU HATE YOUR MINDS, for guilt has entered into them, and they would remain separate, which they CANNOT DO."

"You HATE the prison that you made, and would destroy it."

"You are afraid of Him, and do not see you hate and fear your Self as enemy."

"And why do you attack them anywhere except you hate yourself?"

"But if you hate part of your own Soul, ALL your understanding is lost, because you are looking on what God creates AS YOURSELF without love."

"You do not realize how much you hate each other. You will not get rid of this until you DO realize it, for UNTIL then, you will think you want to get rid of EACH OTHER and KEEP THE HATRED. "

So you have to look at this stuff. And typically you need a strong contrast in order to recognize it. Get in touch with what it means to be sinless. That your sinlessness is guaranteed by God. Get a feel for total pure innocence and the complete absence of all attack, even slight annoyances. And then in that light, look at how you feel about yourself.

Do you still feel like attacking? Do you still feel a need or requirement to judge and blame? Do you condemn others to hide your self condemnation? Are you constantly fighting with people? Do you feel unhappy most of the time? If you have any of the "symptoms" of the ego, which is anything not of God, then certainly there is room for improvement in your relationship with yourself.

First you need to recognize that you even DO hate yourself, before you can be willing to take steps to heal that relationship. And you can't see that unless you have some kind of higher truth about you to compare it to. Your utter pure sinlessness in God, your immortal innocence, the guarantee of eternal life, can act as a contrast and at reality-tester to find out just how you really do feel about yourself. And once you find that out, you have healing work to be done upon yourself. You need correction and forgiveness. You need to FORGIVE YOURSELF, in order to recognize you are sinless and free.

"You have condemned yourself, but condemnation is not of God."

"You who believe you have condemned the Son of God"

"But in the dream of judgment, you attack and ARE condemned."

"And unless He had given you a way to remember, you would have condemned yourselves to oblivion."

"Now has the mind condemned itself to seek without finding; to be forever dissatisfied and discontented; to know not what it really wants to find."

"If the Son of God is guilty, then is he condemned, and he DESERVES no mercy from the God of justice."

"Guilt is ALWAYS in your OWN mind, WHICH HAS CONDEMNED ITSELF. Project it not, for while you do, it cannot BE undone."

"The delusional can be very destructive, for they do not recognize they have condemned THEMSELVES."

"It is not God Who has condemned His Son. But ONLY you, to save his specialness, and kill his Self."

"Remember, then, that whenever you look without and react unfavorably to what you see, you have judged yourself unworthy, and have condemned yourself to death."

"You have handled this wish TO KILL YOURSELF by NOT KNOWING WHO YOU ARE, and identifying with something ELSE. You have projected guilt blindly and indiscriminately, but you have NOT uncovered its source. For the ego DOES want to kill you, and if you identify WITH it, you MUST believe ITS GOAL IS YOURS."

You don't need to die. You need to forgive yourself.

"Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you HAS NOT OCCURRED. It does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees there was no sin. And in that view are all your sins forgiven. What is sin, except a false idea about God's Son? Forgiveness merely sees its falsity, and therefore lets it go. What then is free to take its place is now the Will of God.

An unforgiving thought is one which makes a judgment that it will not raise to doubt, although it is not true. The mind is closed, and will not be released. .......

Forgiveness, on the other hand, is still, and quietly does nothing. It offends no aspect of reality, nor seeks to twist it to appearances it likes. It merely looks, and waits, and judges not. He who would not forgive must judge, for he must justify his failure to forgive. But he who would forgive himself must learn to welcome truth exactly as it is.

Do nothing, then, and let forgiveness show you what to do, through Him Who is your Guide, your Savior and Protector, strong in hope, and certain of your ultimate success. He has forgiven you already, for such is His function, given Him by God. Now must you share His function, and forgive whom He has saved, whose sinlessness He sees, and whom He honors as the Son of God."

--------------------------------------------------

Notice that forgiveness is a state of mind in which there is nothing to forgive. It isn't so much a "doing". It is still and looks and judges not. It doesn't say, "well, I see a bunch of unforgiven or unforgiveable stuff over there, I have to do a forgiveness."

Forgiveness is only forgiveness when it is complete. It is the same thing as the state of atonement in which nothing real has happened. It's the state of mind of the Holy Spirit with perfect correct perception and a clear vision of and acceptance of God's truth.

This truth exists kind of on an entirely other "level" of mind, which you need to find your way to become aware of. When you are IN that mind, you are forgiving, as in, have a forgiving attitude, and see no wrong. The steps you take to get TO that mind, are NOT forgiveness itself. They are steps of undoing false perceptions and beginning to take back the errors that you made. Judgements. Your unforgiving attitude.

Transitioning from an unforgiving, judging, condemning attitude, to one of forgiveness, seems like a process, with a practical application of principles and various corrections that are needed. But that process isn't itself forgiveness, because forgiveness is the FINAL state you get to when the process of complete. It's the restored state of mind which has a forgiving attitude and sees that there is nothing TO forgive, because real sin has not happened. The steps you take to get there, are a process of purification.

I never really understood this until recently. I always believed that if I was taking some steps to forgive people, or later to forgive myself, ie taking back projection and so on, that I was "doing forgiveness". To a degree I was taking steps TOWARD forgiveness. But I also noticed that I did not always take it all the way to the atonement. And since forgiveness IS the atonement, as a state of mind, I clearly was not reaching all the way to that state of mind. And so, effectively, I was only really doing the first PARTS of the undoing of judgement, and not taking it all the way to complete forgiveness.

Still, it was practice, and it was part of the process of learning what forgiveness is, and how to reach it. Forgiveness truly sees, experientially, that there IS nothing to forgive. So if I'm in the mode of "I need to forgive this", that isn't actually forgiveness. I need to get OUT of the mode of believing that there is something unforgiven, because that is contrary to what forgiveness sees. That's still judgement. A partial forgiveness, as a mix of judgement and attempted correction, which ALSO is the spiritual ego which attempts to keep some part of judgement real while trying to undo it.

Until we can take our process of purification all the way to the atonement and to the mind of forgiveness, where we can accept the truth that there is no real sin and nothing has happened, we have not really completed a full forgiveness. And if we stop short of that each time, if we don't completely undo all of the perceptual errors that fall short of the atonement, then we're still in a state of judgement. We haven't fully uprooted the problem, and so it will "grow back" over time. A belief that sin is real will keep producing more guilt, which will produce more fear and punishment and death. It has to be COMPLETELY uprooted by accepting the truth of the atonement.

Over time I think we gradually chisel away at it and perhaps become more willing to take the process further. And especially early on we might simply not be able to go deeper with this because maybe all we can do is grasp at sometimes taking back projections of guilt and taking on some ownership. And our mind might be so cluttered with ego that it takes quite a long time to keep chipping away at that mindset to be able to more quickly and consistently see that that's what we're doing.

Then it takes yet more time to chisel away at the belief that we ourselves are guilty or sinful, before getting close to what forgiveness really is. Simply because or thought system is so filled with ego that a lot of confusion and delusion has to be undone before you can even catch your first glimpse of the atonement. Not that we're doing anything wrong. It's just a learning process. But we do need to make sure that we're at some point going to fully embrace what the atonement says, in order to truly achieve forgiveness.

When you can get your awareness to where you understand, see, accept, believe, and are experiencing, a state of mind in which you know there IS nothing to forgive because there has not been any real sin and nothing can have really happened, only then are you accepting the atonement and being truly forgiving. Seeing that you HAVE NOT sinned at all, that your innocence has NOT been corrupted, that God's love has always been present for you, and that you ARE still worthy of it because you and others have not separated from God at all, that's the "peak" of the forgiveness "process".

The recognition that forgiveness is already DONE, accomplished, and complete, BECAUSE nothing ever happened in reality and truth that requires forgiving.

"Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you HAS NOT OCCURRED" - ACIM --- it has not occurred because the world is not REAL, and everything you ever thought had gone wrong was JUST an illusion and nothing more. Nothing has really happened, there is no real sin, you are STILL innocent in God's eyes, and are worthy of His love.

It's interesting that it is people with egos who seek to become more spiritual.

This is based on the ego belief that they are not already perfect, complete, holy, innocent etc. Life probably sucks in some way, and this compels them to search for greater meaning or truth.

The problem is we have two identities rolled into one. The ego is one identity. Our Real Self is the other. The problem is we've become attached to, identified with, and confused with the ego. It wants us to think it is what we are and that we are nothing else. This gives us the impression we have one self, a separate self, but in fact we have another self - a Real Self, which is actually all of who we are.

So then as we become compelled by pain and suffering to 'seek for a better way', it's who we THINK we are that starts to seek. And that means, it's us plus the ego. The ego is along for the ride. And the ego will bring with it all of its baggage and misunderstanding and misinterpretation. And that's also what happens when anyone starts to study A Course in Miracles - they will filter it through their ego, bigtime, not really understand or accept it, and will distort the living crap out of it. I know because I did this too.

So what's happening is, the ego wants to compel us to be always seeking and never finding. It wants to take us away from accepting or having or being. So then we - the ego-infested self, starts to seek for the truth. And this might surprise you that the ego seeks for the truth, but seeking the truth and actually finding the truth are very different things. Seeking does NOT lead to finding! It's a trick. Seeking the truth actually takes you AWAY from the truth, because the truth is always PRESENT already. Any form of searching is actually a blindfold.

So at first, we want to be more spiritual because we cannot see that we already HAVE everything God gave us. That's because we have blocks to awareness. And so we'll go off seeking, and actually will take ourselves onto tangents and directions that actually lead AWAY from truth. And you will find as you do this, that you start to SACRIFICE. Ie you'll start to give up on things that were in your life that you suspect maybe are the definition of 'not spiritual'. You'll misinterpret the truth and think it's calling for you to give up stuff, to give up forms and people and things you enjoy, because your ego does not understand the truth. It comes to its own conclusions.

And then as you get to grips with the Course a bit more the ego gets undone a bit and you make some progress, but you also start to become a 'spiritual ego', or rather, you start trying to act like you are 'special' in your spirituality. You will spiritualize things in the world. You'll try to sound like you are spiritual. You'll try to act like you're spiritual. You'll basically try to 'integrate' spiritual truth into your EGO life, which is a realm of form and behavior. So the ego is trying to keep its life and the ways of living that it is used to, but bring the truth 'into' that realm so that the ego is retained. Yet it's quite possible to fill your life with a combination of sacrifice and spiritual specialness, to create the ILLUSION that you are becoming more truth-filled. The ego loves that you're thinking of being a spiritual savior/hero ;-)

At some point after this if you are making true progress through sincere honesty, purification, letting go, healing, surrender, and seeing through your OWN ego lies, you will see through the ego's efforts to seek, and all of these activities you've been doing even with the Course to try to 'get to' where the truth is. You'll learn more that the truth is already present, and that God is already present, and that even in your spiritual seeking it has been taking you AWAY from what is. So now your 'path', what's left of it, now becomes more like a form of surrendering, stopping searching, relinquishing trying so hard, maybe even letting go of sacrifice and opening up to reclaiming into your life things which are 'okay' that you thought were 'un-spiritual' before. You may start to bring joy back into your life. And you will start practice a simpler art of acceptance, listening to God, communing with God, being present, becoming aware of what is, and letting go of every 'block' that was telling you you needed to be a spiritual seeker to get back everything you don't have.

Even though the Course says you need to undo the blocks to awareness, to reveal the love that cannot be taught, which is hidden but already present underneath those blocks, the spiritual ego seeks to find love by seeking for it where it does not exist - externally. And instead of actually working on the undoing of those blocks, it would happily spend its time working on the 'accumulation' of 'spiritual information', intellectual understanding, special powers and so on, so long as you avoid actually healing the root cause of the spiritual seeking itself.

If you were to actually look within and see there is no sin, and heal the sense of lack, you would find the truth, but the ego does not want that, so it has you seeking everywhere that the truth is not. And then when you don't find the truth, the ego is happy that you might give up seeking and go back to ignorant unconsciousness. But what if instead you decide the ego was lying to you and you learn to stop trusting its voice? Maybe you become aware of a deeper truth that transcends it, and which is already in you. And maybe, as you realize the ego led you in the wrong direction, this will finally teach you what the right direction is - within! And so the ego has helped you awaken.

The real truth then starts to reveal itself. That you already have everything God gave you. You already are how he wants you (in Spirit, not form). That you are already loveable. That you are already forgiven. That nothing has really happened etc. And so you approach the real atonement, and true forgiveness, and Holy Spirit's mind of stillness and peace. You stop so much being a spiritual seeker as a spiritual finder, realizing the seeking stops you from finding, and the truth is already here. It was here in front of your nose all along, this whole time that you thought it was somewhere else. And so now you have uncovered the truth of who and what you are and have returned home to yourself in God. This is "the journey without distance", back to the True Self that you already are.

What comes next I have no idea, haha! To be continued...

The entire ego thought system is an attempt to deny and get rid of God, ourselves, and truth. It is an attempt to displace responsibility for who and what we are, what we are experiencing, and how these experiences were chosen, onto someone other than ourselves.

The culmination of this behavior if death, in which we seem to successfully displace/project/disassociate ALL responsibility for living onto some external power, which decides FOR us what our fate will be.

Death is the ultimate statement and attempt to get rid of all will to live, all responsibility for choice, all power, all blame, and all sin. Turning the tables and having something external "cause you to die" can only happen by completely refusing to make a choice, to create an illusion of having no choice, and to then play along with that lie by "letting" something destroy you "against your will."

All victimhood speaks of the disownership and denial of self, the projection of sin onto others, the unwillingness to choose or to admit to anything, and the deliberate placing of all POWER into the hands of anyone other than ourselves. This has been our ego agenda since the beginning of the separation from God, which was an attempt to deny all power, to deny what we are, and to destroy what God has created.

The only tool the ego has, since it cannot change reality or make it truly be destroyed, is to "cover it up" with illusions of denial. This denial attempts to displace away from the present, away from Self, away from God, everything that is HERE to make it be "not here". This is simply an act of DISOWNING RESPONSIBILITY.

The antidote to this, and everything that comes from it, is to TAKE BACK YOUR POWER by taking responsibility for everything that you are experiencing. This requires that you learn that NOTHING can happen to you against your will, EVERYTHING you are experiencing is what you have ASKED FOR, and you HAVE received exactly what you wanted. This also means that you MUST have chosen whatever it is you are experiencing.

This ties in directly to the secret to salvation, which is the realizing that you are DOING THIS TO YOURSELF, which means that you cannot ever be a victim, no-one is EVER the cause of anything you are experiencing or feeling, no-one can attack you, you are invulnerable, and therefore you are SAFE.

It also ties into Jesus saying that "no-one dies without their own consent". This literally means that if you will take full responsibility, you literally CANNOT experience death unless you choose to. And this also means, that literally, nothing outside of you has ANY ability or power to CAUSE you to die, against your will. This is nothing short of immortality.

The benefits to you and your mind by taking full responsibility for everything is profound. It takes some practice, especially since in most ego dramas there is some perception that SOMEONE ELSE is responsible for what you are experiencing. It can seem that your body is sick because of something that happened against your will, or someone called you some names, or they attacked you, or there is something wrong with them etc. These are LIES.

These are ways that you will GIVE POWER to other people, which means DISOWNING that power, which means you will then *experience* a sense of POWERLESSNESS. In that powerlessness you will see yourself as weak, vulnerable and attackable, and justified in being constantly afraid because now you perceive that "a great power" is outside of you, able to do something to you against your will. A power so strong that, in comparison, the "lack of power" you see yourself as having is no match for it.

Being a victim is a deliberate act of giving your power away. It also reveals in *every case* that you MUST have chosen incorrectly, must have asked for what you have experienced, and therefore have done it to yourself. There is no wiggle room here. We're not able to maintain a belief in "justified victimhood" or "being unfairly treated" at the same time as being empowered. Believing in these reasons why anyone is justified in being a victim or projecting blame for it, is nothing less than a continued CHOICE to disown our power.

We may not realize how much power we have attempted to GIVE AWAY, especially if we are in a very afraid state of victimization. We have been so used to being POWERLESS that we think this is normal and natural. However, as you start to take back responsibility for *everything* you are experiencing, taking back all blame and all belief in an external cause, you will be pleasantly surprised as how EMPOWERED you feel, how much it boosts your confidence and certainty, and how much LESS AFRAID you are.

Essentially, by giving away responsibility, we are attempting to make our life the responsibility of someone else. Then we will seek for them to DO TO US how we want them to treat us - which is specialness. If they do not treat us right, and given we believe what we experience is THEIR responsibility, we will then blame them for failing to live up to our expectation. You can see this in almost all parent-child relationships not to mention all other special relationships.

Also, in this act of placing blame for sin onto SOMETHING SEPARATE AND EXTERNAL, we actually attempting to separate *GOD* off, make him be other than one with our identity, to make out that He is the sinner, that He is now an "external, separate cause", that His Will is now acting AGAINST our will, and therefore we are justified in being angry at God. And then when it SEEMS as though an "external cause" is the reason for why we die, against our will, we are literally acting out this accusation that we are dying because IT IS GOD's WILL. Having made our will be against God's we now see Him as acting against us and trying to kill us. This is what happens when we try to kill God.

The truth is, God is NOT separate from us, His Will is NOT opposed to ours (ours is opposed to His), and He is NOT a separate cause out there doing stuff to us against our will. It is OUR authority problem which makes God out to be an attacker. Every death is a statement that we should die because it is God's will, which is a completely unfounded claim against God, trying to make God out to be a sinner and us His innocent victim.

Now, when we are in our ego and we're getting all caught up in some argument or drama with someone else, what happens is our mind forms "connections" to the other person. These are ego connections. They are psychological distortions resulting from false perception, which perceives that what you are experiencing is "caused by" something outside of yourself.

Seeing cause outside of you will ensure you see "effects" inside of you being directly "tied to" that external cause. So long as you keep visualizing that there is an enemy out there, you will not be able to let go of this sense that you "haven't let go" of this. The person will keeping popping up in your mind and you'll keep having FEAR about what they are doing to you. This is because you believe THEY are responsible for what you are experiencing.

This can become quite heightened, because the ego attacks itself and through conflict it attempts to "join" separate pieces together. The more you are being irresponsible by projecting others as the "cause of you", the more you will not be at peace because you can't LET GO of the perceived situation. Your perception needs healing.

Have you experienced how when you are concerned about what someone is doing, you just can't stop thinking about it? It keeps coming back into your mind. This is because you have become ATTACHED to this enemy, which keeps haunting you. Attachment means the ego is holding on tightly to its vision of an external cause. To let go of that attachment requires one thing .... TAKING FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING.

Since all ego dramas and fights and wars and conflict involve this "attaching" process of making YOUR wellbeing dependent on something external, the antidote is to SEVER THE TIES OF CAUSALITY with that other person. This means, making statements or at least having a willingness to admit, that they are NOT THE CAUSE of what you are experiencing, they are NOT responsible for what you are experiencing, the power you see IN them is NOT THEIRS it is your own which you attempted to GIVE to them, and to TAKE BACK YOUR POWER.

Here is an example.

Pick some person who you think of as being an enemy, against you, threatening you, accusing you, attacking you, blaming you, judging you, or in any way somehow acting against your will.

Recognize now what the content of your perception is. Somewhere in your perception you have DISPLACED a sense of power onto the person. You see them as HAVING POWER OVER YOU. And in that same perception, you see yourself as having LOST power to them.

Recognize also that you feel that THEY are responsible for how you feel, what you are experiencing, and what's happening to you. It's their fault. They are the one doing it. Cause is outside of you, and you therefore are being turned into an EFFECT. Note that all emotional reactions from the ego are the result of seeing yourself as AT THE EFFECT of the world. Perceiving a cause outside of you automatically means that YOU have to adjust to "become the effects" that this cause is projecting. These "effects" show up as emotional disturbance and reactions of hurt, fear, anger, etc.

Recognize also that you are attached to this person, they seem to have a way to ACCESS YOU, they are connected to you in some energetic way, and you can't seem to be at peace about them. You feel threatened by them, unsafe, unable to muster enough power or courage to stand up to them, and you feel like you are being victimized.

Now. Here is the good part. SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM THEIR CAUSALITY. Say some things which confirm the truth, that there is NO TIE OF CAUSALITY between that person and you. I am now going to demonstrate an example and if you follow along using a person in your life, you WILL NOTICE how this changes your mind and your feelings.....

I am not being affected by that person. That person is not being affected by me.

I am not being caused by that person. That person is not being caused by me.

Nothing I am experiencing is coming from that person. These experiences are my own. I am choosing all of these experiences. Everything I am feeling I am choosing to feel. They are my own feelings and I put them there. This other person did not put them there.

Nothing the other person is experiencing is coming from me. Whatever they are experiencing is their own choice. They are choosing all of their experiences. Everything they are feeling they are choosing to feel. Those are their own feelings, not mine, and I did not put them there.

My feelings of hurt any upset are not being caused by them. Their feelings of hurt and upset are not being caused by me.

I am not responsible for anything that person is experiencing. They are not responsible for anything I am experiencing.

They have done nothing to me. I have done nothing to them.

I am not at the effect of that person. That person is not at the effect of me.

That person hasn't done anything to me against my will. I have not done anything to that person against their will.

I completely forgive that person because they have not done anything to me at all. That person completely forgives me because I have not done anything to them at all.

Everything I am experiencing is my own choice. I have put these reactions and feelings into my own body. I am the one who did this to myself. They did not do this to me. I must have chosen it.

(this ties directly into..) "I must have decided wrongly, because I am not at peace. I MADE THE DECISION MYSELF,

but I can also decide otherwise. I want to decide otherwise,

because I want to be at peace."

You can go on and on like this for as long as you feel you need to, SEPARATING CAUSALITY from seeming like it is coming from someone other than yourself. Or rather, deprogramming your false perception of an external enemy, and TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT so that you realize you are only doing this to yourself.

This puts all POWER back into your own hands. You will REGAIN POWER, you will feel stronger, you will feel less afraid, you will feel like you have LET GO of the other person, you will stop having obsessive thoughts about them, you will not FEAR being victimized by them or what they are going to "do to you", and you will gain a lot more confidence.

Essentially, this is a process of forgiveness, whereby you are admitting the truth and owning up to NOT being a victim, to having simply made a mistaken choice, and that you no longer want to see someone else as attacking you. Blaming anyone else for attack is a lie. All attack is self attack.

It is YOU who needs to stop attacking yourself, not other people. Putting the blame for attack onto others SHIELDS YOU from admitting that you are doing it to yourself, because projection comes from DENIAL. Admitting the truth, taking responsibility, and owning up to WHO YOU ARE, gives you back YOURSELF, and empowers you greatly.

What Jesus is teaching us in the Course is simply that all attack is self attack, we have accused ourselves of sin, and we need to admit that this isn't true. The things we do after accusing ourselves of sin, to deny and project it on others, isn't even the main problem. It's part of a cover up. We need to learn to STOP DISOWNING OURSELVES. Stop giving YOUR power away to external causes that don't exist.

When you take back all of YOUR power, which you share with God, you will not be able to see yourself as powerless, or needing to be afraid, or a victim. Stuff won't bother you. People won't be able to attack you. You will gain STRENGTH in the truth. True innocence is STRONG, not weak and vulnerable. You are truly innocent when you take responsibility for everything because it simply means there is no blame or guilt, just a mistaken choice, which can be undone.

As you take back this responsibility, you will find AT FIRST that it seems to your ego that you are taking "the blame" for everything. This is a hurdle, because you still believe that you really did do something wrong. Not blaming it on someone else simply blames you. This has to be undone through forgiveness. If I say, "I am responsible for this", my ego will take it to mean, "I really am a sinner". This is its defense against the truth. We must go past this to realize that it is possible to BE RESPONSIBLE without being guilty.

Jesus talks about this in the urtext, not sure if FIP etc, but He mentions how as you start to take responsibility, your ego will at first perceive it to "imply" that you are the one who is truly a sinner. And this can feel painful. But gradually, the MORE you take responsibility, the more you take back your POWER, the more you will NOT believe in real sin and will more easily stay in your strength. Your strength will shine a stronger light and will help you to SEE that you are simply taking steps to BE YOURSELF.

Taking 100% responsibility for everything you experience is the key to salvation. It can take you all the way to the atonement. It will give you back so much power you will be surprised how invulnerable you feel, how much less afraid you are, how easily you approach people and are not put off by doubts or anxieties.

Taking full responsibility ultimately also means, YOU CANNOT DIE unless you make it happen to yourself. No-one dies without their own consent. It also means NOTHING CAN HURT YOU against your will. It also means YOU CANNOT BE SICK, and neither can your body, because sickness of the body is all an attempt to BE IRRESPONSIBLE by projecting sin onto others. Sickness accuses your brother of being a sinner. That's not responsibility. Taking responsibility will HEAL YOU AND YOUR BODY.

You could say, if you like you think of miracles as shifts in perception, say that taking responsibility will SHIFT your perception miraculously towards the truth. This isn't the full story of what miracles are (expressions of love, able to do anything) etc... but your holiness CAN do anything if you will OWN UP TO IT. It's kind of like an act of COMING OUT AS CHRIST, admitting that YOU ARE THE SON OF GOD, revealing yourself, stopping hiding, stoping distracting away from whey you are, BECOMING VISIBLE, and therefor becoming INVISIBLE to the ego. The ego cannot attack you when you are responsible and empowered.

The power you will gain and share with God by reclaiming your right to it (miracles are everyone's right, but purification is necessary first), will astound you. You literally are plugging yourself back into the Power of God. And there is nothing you cannot do.

Let's talk about sickness purely as a matter of cause and effect. Your mind is causal, and when sane has no confusion about this fact. It does not mistake its own effects for causes, and especially does not believe its effects are causing it.

When the mind is sick, it uses denial to block out of awareness its own causal power. This is a denial of creative power or authorship. The mind REVERSES cause and effect. It believes it is not the cause of the effects, and it believes the effects are the cause of it.

The mind now perceives itself is "at the effect of" an external, separate cause. There are two very important things happening here:

1) The mind now sees itself as being an effect, and begins to distort the body in order to represent those effects. The mind believes it is caused by, and under attack by, an external cause, and that this cause defines the self. And the mind, under this perception, now subconsciously PRODUCES SYMPTOMS in the body. These symptoms are the expected effects that the mind believes "should" be the result or causal consequence of the external cause (which is secretly the mind itself).

2) In order TO believe that the mind is at the effect of the world or another person, the mind HAS to assign causality TO the world or person. And that means, that person is believed to be RESPONSIBLE FOR CAUSING the effects in your body. By being "the causer", they are effectively "the sinner". And so the mind sees "their will" as causing the effects that it, itself, is putting into the body based on this belief. By seeing itself as under attack, the mind thus ACCUSES its brothers of sin SO THAT it can pin the blame for the effects on your brother.

This results in an unfortunate scenario because now the presence of "effects" in the body, put there BY YOUR MIND, are acting as the "consequences" or cause-effect RESULT, of what SOMEONE ELSE DID TO YOU. This belief is inescapable because it's founded on the reversal of cause and effect. You can't see yourself as victimized and "at the effect" WITHOUT a scapegoat to pin the causality on. And that leads to this simple fact.

"Sick bodies are accusers."

The presence of sickness in your body is part of a dynamic of believing that your brother is the cause of you. And there is another way to put that. Your mind is ATTACKING YOUR BROTHER, by believing that he is the cause of you. Your mind ATTACKS HIM through the body, by assigning to him a causal power OVER you, which he does not have. And because causality is closely tied to sin, the idea of "who did it" .... this is nothing short of accusing your brother of SIN.

And we know WHY a person would accuse a brother of sin. "You but accuse your brother of your OWN sins." Which means that as soon as the mind is going into an attack mode, it believes in its own sinfulness and then PROJECTS this onto your brother THROUGH the reversal of cause and effect. The cause effect reversal is an absolutely essential part of the dynamic and it produces a perception that HE DID THIS TO YOU, and now YOU have the effects to show for it, which act as PROOF that he DID SIN. And this leads to a simple fact.

If your body is showing up as sick and damaged, IT IS accusing your brother of sinning against you, and it's doing so because YOUR MIND is accusing him of causing you. In every case. Without exception. The body's state is part of the mind's accusatory condition. If the mind believes your brother is the cause of your experience, your mind WILL MAKE YOUR BODY SICK TO PROVE IT. And you are now WILLING to suffer and tolerate sickness in the body in order to be able to get away with accusing your brother of sin. And in fact, we will even go so far as to KILL the body through "death" in order to ACCUSE the world or a brother of sin, "suggesting" that we "died innocently" against our will.

"A sick and suffering you but represents your brother's guilt; the witness which you send, lest he forget the injuries (that means PHYSICAL!) he gave, from which you swear he never will escape. This sick and sorry picture (body=picture) YOU accept, if only it can serve to punish him. The sick are merciless to everyone, and in contagion (that's physical too!) do they seek to kill."

So sickness, all physical sickness, all symptoms, goes HAND IN HAND, with a psychological sickness, which is a condition of believing that cause and effect are reversed. And all such level confusion is EGO. Anyone with an ego is going to attack their own body in an effort to portray themselves as VICTIMIZED, so that OTHERS will stand accused, and thus YOU will appear to be innocent and exonerated. In sickness and damage we then are able to claim, "I DID NOT DO IT, YOU DID". And this is described be Jesus as this attitude:

"Brother, at your hand I die". Ie, because my brother is believed to be the CAUSE of me, and because I have secretly manifested EFFECTS in my body to PROVE it, I now die BECAUSE of my brother. And there IS NO death that isn't "caused" by this precise mechanism. It happens because of the MIND choosing to USE the body for attack against others, which results in sickness and death. This is explicitly stated by Jesus:

"The central lesson is always this; that what you use the body for it will become to you. Use it for sin or for attack, which is the same as sin, and you will see it as sinful. Because it is sinful it is weak, and being weak, it suffers and it dies."

"The sick are merciless to everyone, and in contagion do they seek to kill. Death seems an ***easy price***, if they can say, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I die."

So we're talking here about the assumption that you HAVE a body. I'm not talking about whether the body is real or not. *IF* you have a body, HOW YOU USE IT is vital. If you use it for attack, ie belief in sin, thus denial and projection, thus reversal of causality, you are using it to attack THROUGH towards your brother. And he now is seen as the CAUSE OF your sickenss. Or at least, he is now the scapegoat onto whom you BLAME for causing your sickness. And your BODY is forced to be sick BY YOU, and accuses him right along with your mind.

Now the question becomes, what happens if you DO NOT DO THIS?

What happens if you stop using the body for attack? What if you stop reversing cause and effect? What if you stop seeing yourself (mind) as "at the effect" of the very things you are causing? What if you recognize:

"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No-one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail."

Nothing in the world has POWER OVER YOU. Which means nothing in the world CAUSES you. Which means nothing in the world SINS against you. Which means, if you accept this and SEE this way, if your mind is SANE in recognizing IT is the cause of everything ("my self is ruler of the universe"), then it WILL NOT enter into the above described dynamic of USING the body for attack.

This means the mind will now NOT see your brother as causing you. It will NOT see itself as being "at the effect" of the world. It will NOT BELIEVE IN EXTERNAL CAUSES OF SICKNESS. It will not attribute to the world ANY power to cause it to be in any state. It will not see itself as "affected". And what are the CONSEQUENCES of this?

"Use it to bring the Word of God to those who have it not, and the body becomes holy. Because it is holy it cannot be sick, nor can it die."

"The mind, being sane, heals the body."

In other words, because YOUR MIND was the ACTUAL cause of THE EFFECTS in your body, as a result of ITS misperception of your brother, and as part of USING the body for attack (to accuse him physically), the removal of this attacking attitude HEALS the body. It takes AWAY from it all the signs of attack and sickness. It stops seeing itself AS "effect". It stops believing in effects. And it stops making itself suffer. This CAUSES love to flow through the body to others. This joins minds. This then RESULTS IN the disappearance of the SYMPTOMS, as PROOF and CONVICTION, that the mind no longer wishes to attack, and therefore **REFUSES** to display signs of attack in the body.

You have to at this point let go of the belief, which is wrong, that the body is CAUSED to be sick BY anyone other than YOU. You also have to let go of the belief that the body can become sick as a result of some cause or power IN THE WORLD. NOTHING in the world has that power to make you weak or frail. Death does NOT OCCUR by accident, NOR does it occur "because of" ANYTHING in the world. Death occurs ONLY by a mind using the body for attack, sending attack through the body, making the body DEPICT ATTACK, and thus destroying it for the sake of some scapegoating.

If there is any shred left in your mind of a belief that sickness is caused by ANYTHING other than your mind's mis-use of the body, you will NOT be able to accept the next step. Which is to realize that when the mind USES the body FOR HEALING, to bring the Word of God to others, to shine light through it, to extend the mind PAST the body, the body actually GETS HEALED. Not only does it get healed, it CANNOT AVOID IT, has no will to choose not to, and MUST heal in order to NOT scapegoat. It cannot be retaining proof of sickness and CLAIM to be coming used by a healed mind.

Once again, explicitly stated by Jesus here:

"Learning must lead beyond the body to the re-establishment of the power of the mind IN it. This can be accomplished only if the mind EXTENDS to other minds, and does not ARREST ITSELF in its extension. The arrest of the mind's extension is the cause of all illness, because ONLY EXTENSION IS THE MIND'S FUNCTION. ***Block this, and you have blocked health*** because you have BLOCKED THE MIND'S JOY."

So when you withdraw from your brother in attack, when you see separation in him, when you ACCUSE HIM OF SIN, when you scapegoat him, and when you try to make YOUR body sick so that HE is the accused sinner, you arrest the extension of the mind. The mind begins to fixate on the body and sees itself as the body. The body now is attacked and becomes SICK. Illness is the result, and this illness is a part of the mechanism of accusing OTHERS of sin as part of the scapegoating mechanism.

ALL SCAPEGOATING MAKES YOUR BODY SICK.

ALL FORGIVENESS HEALS YOUR BODY'S SICKNESS.

When the causality is corrected, the mind now USES the body for extension of love, this de-emphasizes the body, it lifts away from the body all PHYSICAL PROOF of attack and pain, and the body now is restored to literal physical heath.

"The Holy Spirit's picture changes not the body into something it is not. It only takes away from it ***ALL signs*** of accusation and of blamefulness." What are the signs? PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS OF SICKNESS. The holy spirit REMOVES the sickness from the body, so that it can ONLY depict health. It now becomes a SYMBOL of eternal life, in the world, which ONLY TEACHES that your brother is INNOCENT. Which means, a HEALTHY body, DEMONSTRATES, PROVES, that the MIND occupying that body IS HEALED, that mind IS NOT STILL attacking, and so the symptoms and signs of attack are gone. If the signs remain, the mind HAS ABSOLUTELY NOT been healed, because the signs ONLY show up when the mind is sick.

The Holy Spirit LITERALLY wants you to SHOW YOUR BROTHER a HEALTHY BODY. A healthy body is a symbol of innocence and forgiveness in this world! This again is EXPLICITLY stated by Jesus:

"Now in the hands made gentle by His touch, ***the Holy Spirit lays a picture of a DIFFERENT you. It is a picture of a body still***, for what you REALLY are can not be seen nor pictured. But THIS one has NOT been used for purpose of attack, and therefore never suffered pain at all. IT witnesses to the eternal truth that you can not BE hurt, and points BEYOND itself to both YOUR innocence and HIS."

Let's repeat it.

"the Holy Spirit lays a picture of a DIFFERENT you. It is a picture of a body still" ... "THIS one has NOT been used for purpose of attack, and therefore never suffered pain at all."

That literally means that the Holy Spirit will heal all physical sickness so that your body can ONLY SHOW symbolic innocence and total lack of harm or attack to your brother. Add by doing so, the body now becomes a teaching device, which PHYSICALLY relays a message of healing to your brother.

"The body can become a sign of life, a promise of redemption, and a breath of immortality to those grown sick of breathing in the fetid scent of death. Let it have healing as its PURPOSE. Then will it send forth the message it received, and ****by its health**** and loveliness proclaim the truth and value that it represents. Let it receive the power to represent an endless life, forever ***unattacked*** (no physical sickness). And to your brother let its message be, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I live."

THIS is the ONLY appropriate state of the body for a HEALED MIND. God's teachers, God's miracle workers, WILL always have a healed body. If they don't, their mind is not healed.

"Show THIS unto your brother, who will see that every scar is healed, and every tear is wiped away in laughter and in love. And he will look on his forgiveness there, and with healed eyes will look BEYOND it, to the innocence that he beholds in you. Here is the proof that he has NEVER sinned; that NOTHING that his madness bid him do was ever done, or ever had effects of any kind. (all physical effects are GONE, miraculously!) That NO reproach he laid upon his heart was EVER justified, and NO attack can touch him with the poisoned sting of fear. Attest his innocence and NOT his guilt. YOUR healing is his comfort and HIS health. BECAUSE it proves illusions were not true."

This is what A Course in Miracles teaches. A sick mind WILL attack the body and make it sick and dead, ALWAYS in an effort to ACCUSE others of sin. Sickness is scapegoating! And when the mind STOPS doing this, it sends healing and health through the body which REVERSES the effects and straightens out the cause-effect relationship, thus TAKING AWAY the sickness which the mind put there in the first place.

"They can heal the sick and raise the dead because man himself made both death and taxes (strain and sickness), and can abolish both."

Your mind CAN MAKE SICKNESS.

Your mind CAN REMOVE SICKNESS.

If your body is sick, your mind IS STILL using it for attack. Which is why "a broken body shows the mind has not been healed."

If your MIND is healed, it MUST AND WILL ALWAYS heal the body. Because "a sick body makes no sense."

The mind WILL NEVER keep the body sick on purpose unless it is attacking. The body cannot stay sick on its own. There are NO causes of sickness beyond your mind. Nothing in the world MAINTAINS body sickness. The body is not an end in itself, or a thing, or a living entity. It is a SYMBOL.

"The body is the symbol of what you THINK you are. It is clearly a separation device, and therefore does not exist."

"Regarding the body as an end, it has no real use for it at all, because it is not an end."

The body only EVER SYMBOLIZES what the MIND is doing. It does not have its own STATE or continuity. The mind is AT ALL TIMES determining the health of the body. And the only way to have the body be constantly sick is to be constantly attacking with it. As soon as you stop attacking yourself, the sickness MUST DISAPPEAR to SYMBOLIZE forgiveness. "Sickness is a defense against the truth" - no defense, no sickness!!! If you want TRUTH, you will NOT have defenses, and thus NO SICKNESS.

There are no exceptions.

Healthy mind, healthy body.

Sick mind, sick body.

This is the central lesson.

In terms of cause and effect, God who is cause created us as his effect, yet shared his causal ability with us, making us also able to cause. We are an effect of God, but we are also a co-creator and cause of our own creations.

God is cause. We are cause. And nothing can alter what we are or make us an effect, other than God, because we are sustained by God's constant will. We are affected by nothing, having been given eternal life, maintained forever by God himself.

The idea of the separation from God, introduced the idea of a breakdown in cause and effect. That means, a breakdown in the relationship between God and his creation/son. It suggests that causes are separate from their effects.

This also produced the belief that you are not caused by God. And also that you can cause God - which is the authority problem - a denial of the causal power of authorship. And therefore that you can cause what God created, thus changing what God created. And since you were a creation of God's, it began the belief that you could change yourself and redefine yourself, plus make-up a new father.

In this process, your recognition of being a creator was denied, you disowned God as cause and thus disowned causation, and began to see yourself as not causal. You began to see yourself as an effect, or affected by, or changed by. You began to believe thigns could happen to you against God's will and against your will. As the course says...

"Sickness and death entered the mind of God's Son against His Will."

In other words, you began to see yourself as at the effect of something other than God, and other than yourself, as though that which has been created (or dreamed/mis-created) has turned around and has begun to create, cause, define and affect what you are.

This introduces level confusion, as well as the reversal of the true and the false, and the reversal of cause and effect. You now see yourself as an effect and not a cause, and you deny causing anything. This means you are trying to "be affected", and to portray yourself as something that can be affected, so that you can change yourself into what you wish to be.

This produced the body, which is a sort of outside picture of the idea of a self that can be at the effect of its environment, a self that can be an effect and not a cause, with no power to cause at all, and acted upon by the world. This body presents the "face of innocence", which hides the idea that you're trying to be a victim, ie trying to be affected, by the world.

"The first presents the face of innocence, the aspect acted ON. It is this face that smiles and charms and even seems to love. It searches for companions, and it looks at times with pity on the suffering, and sometimes offers solace. It believes that it is good, within an evil world."

So now there is this artificial you, which looks like a body, and which is "acted upon" by the world, in which the arrows or direction of causation begins out there somewhere, external and beyond the body and the self/mind, and comes in and acts upon the body/self/mind and causes it to change. Causes it to be affected. And thus the face of innocence, the surface of the body, becomes the canvas on which "effects" are painted to make it seem like you are caused by an alien will outside yourself.

Another way to put this is that, as soon as cause and effect were reversed, you introduced the idea of being "affectable" rather than immortal, that you could change and be changed. And this was the beginning of being a victim. And this is also exactly the beginning of the ego thought system.

To be a victim is to be ego. To be a victim is to be at the effect. To be a victim is to be an effect, not a cause. Victimhood is the denial and refusal to admit to being the cause. Victimhood is irresponsibility and a complete displacement of the responsibility for causing anything, portraying itself as helpless and powerless and at the mercy of anyone and anything.

And this shows up as the face of innocence - the innocent victim that seems not to ask for attack but is still attacked and can then justify anger and revenge. A self that won't take responsibility for causing anything, in an attempt to disown responsibility for sinning against God. To deny and disown all responsibility is to displace and project it onto others and the world, so that the guilty self can pretend to be exonerated.

If you are an effect, you are an ego. If you are an effect, you are a victim. If you are an effect, cause and effect have been reversed. This effectively means that if you swap cause and effect back around and claim total responsibility for being the cause of everything you experience, then you can no longer be a victim, and that also means you can no longer be an ego.

Ego is made of effects. It can only exist as a victim. It requires powerlessness and a disowning of causal power. It must see itself as deprived and lacking and less than whole. It cannot survive when you are powerful, it cannot survive when you are responsible, it cannot survive when you are the cause of everything. It depends on you remaining a powerless victim, and depends on cause and effect staying reversed. To be responsible is to own and know yourself as God created you!

Backwards peception or false perception is another name for ego and another name for being at the effect of the world. Backwards perception is the reversal of cause and effect, in which you are always affected by something seemingly against your will, while secretly choosing it. True perception is the restoration of cause and effect into their proper sequence, in which you are now the cause and the dreamer and a victim of nothing, totally invulnerable, incapable of suffering or blame.

So you can see that to put it simply, with the authority problem which is the breakdown and reversal of cause and effect, as soon as you begin to identify with/as being an effect/affected/victimized, as soon as you give away your power, as soon as you regard yourself as not the cause of what you experience, you are producing an egoic thought system and are losing your mind.

To reclaim total responsibility for the power of God and for causation and creative authorship and being absolutely incapable of being caused by anything but God, denying the power of anything not of God any power to affect or hurt you, which is the proper use of denial, you simply need to own up to being the immortal victimless powerful causer and chooser of what you experience. If nothing can happen to you, you cannot be an ego. If you are purely causal, you are the immortal son of God.

"Father, I was created in Your Mind, a holy Thought that never left its home. I am forever Your Effect, and You forever and forever are my Cause. As You created me I have remained. Where You established me I still abide, and all Your attributes abide in me because it is Your Will to have a Son so like his Cause that Cause and Its Effect are indistinguishable. Let me know that I am an Effect of God, and so I have the power to create like You. And as it is in Heaven, so on earth. Your plan I follow here, and at the end I know that You will gather Your Effects into the tranquil Heaven of Your Love, where earth will disappear, and separate things unite in glory as the Son of God."

Who am I?

What you are, is immortal spirit. You are capable of experiencing, because you have awareness, and you perceive reality. You share the Will of God.

The ego is an illusion. It is not capable of experiencing, it has no awareness of its own, it does not perceive and has no will of its own.

The ego is nothing more than a device, a tool, a machine, which if you choose, you can pick up and USE.

Since the ego is the opposite of who you are, it is impossible for you to use it while you are being yourself. To use it, you must block awareness of your true self.

Once you decide to associate yourself with the ego, it's like picking up a pair of dark-tinted sunglasses. As you put them on and perceive through them, they show you a dark world.

Yet, there you are, as innocent, shining, immortal spirit, wearing a pair of shades. With the glasses on, you can no longer see your illuminating brilliance because the dark glasses seem to filter your perception.

While wearing the ego, you will contribute your experiential awareness, your will and your power, and "bring it to life". You will extend yourself through it.

However, because it is a mechanism for distortion, you will experience a shift in perception from truth to lies, a darkening of your awareness, a loss of your real identity, and a shutting out of God.

In this state it will seem as though the ego is now who you are. Seeing through it, whatever it is designed to see, will become your perception. If it believes in being sinful, you will see yourself as sinful. If it believes in a guilty self that must die, you will believe that about yourself.

Your sense of Self - identity - is brought with you as you wear the ego, and your USE of it appears to modify your sense of self. Your take on an identity unlike your real identity and believe it is you.

Your belief in what the ego shows you causes you to forget who you are, you no longer recognize yourself or the truth, and you now perceive the truth of your very own real self as your enemy.

When the truth comes along to remind you of the fact that you can just drop the ego glasses and return to full awareness, you will resist it. You have chosen to take on the ego's perceptive mechanism, and believe that what it perceives is true reality.

You will see darkness in the truth which is not there, because the ego glasses show you a dark version of the world. And you will reject it and want to get away from it, because it will look frightening.

You will see it as saying that the ego self does not really exist, and you - aligned with the ego - will interpret this to mean that YOU do not exist. And you will defend against that by producing sickness.

Being in the ego you will defend the ego because you think that the ego is your self. You will side with it, protect it, reinforce it, and not want to let it go. You think that doing so is letting your self go. You are not really interested in protecting the ego, only in protecting your SELF, but you think that you and it are the same.

If you are believing you are the ego self, you will believe you're a sinful guilty self. That this is true of you. It's not, but while you are identified with the ego you'll agree with it.

ALL you need to do is to learn what is the difference between your REAL identity and the identity you have when you're wearing the ego filter. This is the difference between God's truth and the ego's truth.

The ego isn't anything. If you were to realize you are not it, and accept what you really are, taking off those sunglasses, you would easily and instantly see yourself correctly and know it to be true. The ego would have no defense against this.

It has no will of its own, no power of its own, no purpose of its own and no life of its own. It is borrowing yours for as long as you choose to keep using it. As soon as you drop it, it is a lifeless machine that is not even functioning. It definitely is not experiencing anything, because the ability to experience is coming from your immortal spirit.

This is why you need to learn to withdraw belief that everything about the ego is TRUTH, or REAL, because while you believe that, you will see your sense of Self as being tied to it. You'll believe that its perception is your perception. You'll see how it sees, and your identity will be its identity. And that will produce tremendous resistance to awakening. Not because YOU are resistant, but because your USE of it makes you confused.

Also when you've tied yourself to the ego thought system, if you start to try to become spiritual WITHOUT letting go of the ego, and WITHOUT undoing the belief that what IT sees is reality, you will produce a "spiritual ego". You will spiritualize the illusions the ego sees, will give them special value, and will polarize your experience.

You'll then believe that you're becoming more yourself or more spiritual, but if you're not letting go of USING and identifying with the ego, all you're doing is changing the ego from one state to another, it is NOT really becoming spiritual, and you are just spinning your wheels.

The ego cannot EVER become spiritual because it doesn't even have a life of its own. It does not exist as anything other than an illusory device for changing perception. That's all it does, like a pair of sunglasses. It is lifeless. No will, no life, no power, nothing.

YOU are the one who gives those properties TO it and tries to MAKE IT be your reality. Your MAKING of the ego is what seems to animate it and transform yourself into it. It has no power over what you are and is completely meaningless without you.

So you need to get past the spiritualization of the dream and the ego, which will show up ANYWHERE in your experience where you're both holding onto some ego and trying to be spiritual at the same time.

The ONLY true way to become spiritual is through the letting go, surrendering, relinquishing, and stoping using of the ego entirely. That is true awakening FROM it, not with it. It cannot awaken because it is not anything. A pair of sunglasses cannot wake up. But the person wearing the sunglasses can take them off and see the light of truth.

So really it all boils down to this. Just discerning who you are. Are you the real truth as God created it, OR, do you really believe that you ARE this ego identity which has no real life and is an idea of death? You cannot change your ego self into your spiritual self, but you can surrender your USE of the ego.

Using the ego is merely an act of not being true, not being honest, not being real, and not being who you are. It is dishonesty. It is denial. It is unconsciousness.

Nothing about the ego can STOP you from waking up. The sunglasses aren't glued to your head. YOU are entirely in the driver's seat, you are the one who is putting the filter over your vision, and you are the one who is trying to PUT power and will and life and reality INTO the ego. You are the one who is trying to MAKE IT your Self.

So you're doing it to yourself. And once you take the ego off your identity and stop BELIEVING that you are IT, by stopping believing that you are everything that is ITS truth (sinful, guilty, fearful, separate etc), that's all that's needed to return to the awareness of your true identity as God's Son.

What has happened to you while you wore sunglasses? Nothing. You just looked cool for a while. You take them off, you're still you. Nothing happened.

Lately I'm noticing more and more often, I just don't want to blame. I'm believing in "real sin" less and less.

I didn't see this coming, and it's not that I've been deliberately working on not being blameful. But I'm starting to see why this makes sense.

When I blame, I am believing that there is some "other" that's not me, that I'm finding responsible for some kind of guilt or sin. This so-called other is actually a part of my own self which I split off in my mind and attack. This attack seems to cause a hallucinated projection onto other people, in which the disassociation from the "conscious" part of my mind makes it seem like it's all to do with someone else.

But the truth is that my attack is actually coming from me, and it is going TO me. And in fact, I am not even really attacking anyone else at all. I think I am, but I'm not.

In the ego's thought system of denial, it really does seem like it is not only possible to find someone else guilty for our own belief in our own sinfulness, but that they can receive ALL of the blame and we receive none of it. We actually think we can scapegoat someone and make them wrong and find them guilty and that this has NO effect on ourselves whatsoever. i.e. Do unto others as you would NOT have them do unto you.

This is of course a complete illusion. While it persists, we go around blaming people because we think that we CAN, as a viable "option" for getting rid of our own sinfulness. Introducing a separation between cause and effect, we think we can be free of the effects and responsibilities of our sin, and someone else can take the hit. And we want to make especially sure that the separation between both is strong so as to be strongly convinced no nasty effects are going to leak back onto ourselves.

But what has to dawn on our mind is not only that we are responsible for 100% of what we are experiencing, but also that everything that has happened we have therefore done to ourselves, and therefore there ARE no causes outside of us, and thus there are no grounds for blame.

This also reveals to the mind that while it thought it was capable of attacking someone "else" with no effects on itself, it actually WAS attacking itself. At first it will think that it was attacking both itself and others, but then it will also dawn that it was in fact ONLY attacking itself. In our egos we live in private worlds of self-attack, at war with ourselves, in our split mind with multiple personalities. It doesn't even really involved anyone else at all, we just pretend it does. When we are willing to become aware that we are ONLY doing it to ourselves, then a whole new kind of experience starts to emerge. This is what's starting to happen to me now.

I am getting this feeling that I just don't WANT to blame people for anything. I haven't deliberately been trying to stop blaming as such, it's just sort of emerging. Some part of me seems to be aware that if I blame, in the act of blame, there is an attack and that *I* actually receive at least some of the effects of that attack. It's not true that the other person is 100% separated from me, and it's not true that they are really guilty. If I am being responsible, it MUST mean that I am doing this to myself and am attacking myself.

So each time I go to scapegoat, i.e. pretend that I even CAN scapegoat, I'm starting to learn or realize that the "blame" is ACTUALLY from myself, to myself, and I WILL experience effects from that. I am becoming aware of those effects, rather than being unconscious of it. And the fact is, outside of denial, this self attack HURTS ME. I do not want to keep hurting myself. It is a natural response, really.

If you could be aware that you can ONLY do anything to yourself, and that if you attack, YOU will be the one who gets ALL of the effects, you would not attack.

It is only because we've been unconscious and split in our mind and believing that there is an "other" that all of the responsibility can be given to (disowning of self), that we even CONCEIVE of the idea of displacing blame onto this "other". Or even that doing so might cause us to NOT be experiencing the effects of the sin. It is only because of DENIAL that it even seems possible that this would be helpful in alleviating guilt.

So while I am in denial and am being dishonest and irresponsible and believing that i am really sinful, I'm going to be really compelled to try to split myself off from that and project it somewhere. But the truth is, I'm not escaping it. Self-attack is self-attack. Nobody else is even being attacked by me at all, so it's not even as though there is this motivation to "be nice to other people". My self-attack has NOTHING to do with anyone else at all, and in truth, NOBODY receives any effects from it. No real effects anyway.

So it's not even as though I'm doing this out of GUILT in relation to trying to be kinder to others. That would actually be a form of self sacrifice which is ego. Instead, it's just the natural dawning of AWARENESS, that because I am responsible, I literally AM doing unto MYSELF as I would have MYSELF do unto me. I am attacking myself, and it is my belief that I am really sinful that is the root of this attack.

So as we have the courage to look at our own belief in our own sinfulness, in the idea of "real sin", and are finding some genuine healing atonement for this, it seems like the truth that we are only attacking ourselves becomes more obvious. I just am becoming aware that if I attack, *I* will feel hurt, and I just don't want to feel that anymore. I don't want to keep finding myself sinful, because now it's not a game of whether or not anyone else is being forgiven (you cannot forgive anyone other than yourself, and there is no need to!), it's a game between me and myself now and how I want to be towards myself.

I don't want to blame others, because I don't want to blame myself, because I don't want to keep finding myself sinful and guilty. I am just losing interest in it. It hurts to hurt myself. I don't want that. This is how my interests become shared interests with others. This is what leads to literally doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, which really means, you are DOING LOVE to others BECAUSE you love yourself. You cannot really do anything to others unless it IS love, because everything else is really self attack.

So it's funny but, in situations where I would've gone right into blame and accusation and scapegoating, I just can't seem to believe my own bullshit anymore. I know its dishonest and irresponsible and denial and not true that it's anyone else's fault. Nobody has done anything to me. No-one is the cause of my upset. I am choosing it. I'm doing this to myself. And I want to stop doing that. I want to recognize my true innocence, and learn to love myself again.

Surrendering to self-love shared with God. I am worthy because in the atonement, it is true that I have not really done anything real, and therefore am still innocent. Accepting that produces a justification to love yourself.

Fear is a psychological tool which you use to put yourself into the role of victim, where you then see yourself as being affected by something separate from you.

You are powerful, strong, confident, certain, loving, aware, filled with truth.

However, when you disown these properties, you do so by creating a split in your mind. You use separation to try to separate yourself from these properties, to disown and push them away, and you literally give them TO something separate from you.

So you take all your power, all your certainty, all your inherent love, and you separate it from yourself and push it outwards onto someone else.

This now means that in your perception, you see yourself as lacking confidence, lacking power, lacking certainty, and that will be experienced as "being afraid". It is a state of powerlessness and weakness and a vulnerability to be affected by a power greater than what you seem to possess.

You seem to them possess less power than what is outside of yourself, because you have displaced your own power out there and see yourself as having "less". Therefore those outside of you seem to have "more".

It will seem then that you are afraid because those outside of you have more power than yourself, ie have power over you, and are capable of causing you or affected you in some way. They seem to have control over you, able to decide against your will what you will be or experience. And that's frightening. But it's not the cause of the fear. It's just how the fear is experienced once it's put in place.

Fear is always an act of deliberately disowning yourself and giving yourself away, which RESULTS IN you perceiving that what you've given away is now outside of yourself in someone else's hands. It then seems frightening that they can use this power against you, which creates this whole victimhood story about what they're doing "to you" and why you don't have the power to stop them. But that's a cover-up for the fact that you are using fear IN ORDER TO see them as victimizing you.

That power which you perceive as being in them and not in you, is your own power, which you have disowned. You've tried to set up other people as more powerful than you so that you can appear weak and afraid and in threat of attack. To choose to be afraid is to deliberately position yourself a a victim and to see yourself as in danger of dying. It is a choice to try to bring about your own death. That it seems later as though someone else is going to "cause" this death for you, is a total cover-up lie which you orchestrate in order to make it seem like YOU are not the one choosing it.

Death is an attempt to relinquish the power and ability to choose, to cover up the power of choice, to disown everything about yourself and to allow the external separate imaginary source of power to decide FOR you what is going to happen TO you. But all along this fearful CHOICE is still a choice. It just looks like it's a loss of choice or of having no choice at all.

If you are afraid, you absolutely DO have a choice and you absolutely ARE using your choice, in a mis-creative and self-destructive way. To be afraid does not call for pity. It calls for you to get honest and reclaim responsibility for the power that you keep trying to make out that others are taking from you against your will. It's YOUR power that YOU have GIVEN to them BY your will! You need to take it back.

You only experience fear when you have disowned yourself and are being irresponsible for who and what you are - when you are unwilling to fulfill the FUNCTION that God has given you to represent Him and to extend love and power. When you try to give this function away, other people will seem to wield this function over you against your will. Or in other words, when you attempt to not want to fulfill this function, this function will seem to fulfill itself in opposition to you, because you are in opposition to it.

To escape from fear will NEVER be successful so long as you continue to believe your own lie, that the power you're afraid of belongs to everyone other than YOU. That the power you see in someone else is not your own power. If the power you see projected onto others is not your own, and it has power over you, then you will believe it is inherent to them and that it is real or true that they own it. They have not stolen it, you've given it to them.

Having made this seem real to yourself, which means you trust it (fear is trusting the ego), you will think that the only way to be safe in the face of something scary is to become "just as scary" or intimidating or have some sense of fake power or aggression or anger, in order to go up against this formidable foe to overpower them. It thus becomes a fight against a fictional enemy. The suggestion to stand up for yourself or to assert yourself then becomes a really frightening challenge, because it means being at WAR.

Confrontations with real-seeming enemies are not really solutions to the problem. Sometimes this seems to be the only thing you can do to stop them from attacking you, but this is according to the ego's rules. The only reason a so-called "attacker" is showing up in your life is to show you that you keep giving your power away and that you've put your own power outside of yourself. The challenge is not to make the enemy real and fight with them to "win", but to recognize that the power that you think is in them is YOUR OWN, to own it, take it back, be responsible for it, and thus return to a state of certainty and a stillness of confidence, a clarity about your power which makes you unmoved and unmovable, and a clarity in which you realize it was YOU that you have made into an enemy.

You don't need to fight an opponent to gain equal power. You need to realize it's your own power and reclaim it, to stop perceiving yourself as a victim, to stop using fear to project "cause" (really blame for causing sin) onto others, and to therefore become invulnerable. There is no need for the invulnerable to defend themselves or to fight or be at war. They are immovable, unchangeable, invulnerable, and cannot be attacked. That's what you really need to get to. And that means stopping putting yourself into the psychological perceptive mode of seeing yourself disempowered while others seem to be more powerful.

Ultimately you are doing this to yourself because it is a part of your own mind which you are up against, it's a part of your own power that you're threatened by, and it's a part of your own Self that seems separate from you and having a will of its own. This is all happening inside your own mind and has nothing to do with anyone else out there. There is no-one else out there. This fear is all just your own self-attack. Fear is a defense against the truth. Fear is denial. And no-one who is afraid is "innocent" of causing things to go wrong. It's all chosen on purpose.

"Be not afraid", Jesus would say... not because there is a real reason to be afraid, but because being afraid isn't becoming of you - it's a choice to be weak when you could be powerful, and it's not your best move. It works against yourself and is a way of you hurting yourself. You don't need it.

All this time, I and most of us have been seeking the truth from the bottom up. That means, we find ourselves in the midst of the illusion, lost and confused, scrambling in the dark, trying to find our way to the light.

But everything about the darkness has been lying to us, painting a picture the opposite of the truth. The darkness makes it appear that we have become sinners, or fallen from grace, or changed into a limited confused person, or have developed an ego and changed our identity. This is not true.

As you move "upward" closer to the truth, you will gradually open up to greater awareness and insight into the nature of the truth. And gradually you will start to "take root" in the truth. Another way to put it is you "attach" to the truth or identify with it more, having un-attached from ego lies. Jesus once said to me "you are growing stronger in the truth". So as we undo the lies and the ego, the darkness starts to clear and we can see more clearly and accurately.

At some point you start to get this sense that the ego has been lying all this time, and in fact, not only have you not really been changed into a sinful corrupt evil being, but the person you were before the separation is actually still your true nature.

So now we flip things around. If you look at the truth from the top down, we put Heaven first as the only real truth and everything else is a lie. If you can recognize that you were created perfect from the outset, you are incapable of sin, nothing has gone wrong, you have not left God, you are permanent, you can't change yourself from God's intention, your real self has not changed at all, etc.... then you'll start to get this picture... .that actually you literally ARE still as God created you, and everything else the ego says is just an attempt to COVER IT OVER with a bunch of lies and denial.

So this is quite a different focus. Acknowledging that inside of you, even if it's buried, you literally ARE already innocent, holy, awake, with God, in heaven, having eternal life, unaffected and unchanged, sinless and guiltless, already free of every ego illusion, and nothing has happened to you. And this is true NOW, and it has ALWAYS BEEN TRUE.

So now you start to put things into their proper perspective. If it's true that you are STILL as God created you, and you are PERMANENTLY as God created you, then everything else cannot be true of you. It can't be true that you have changed, or fallen from grace, or sinned, or become a different identity, or that you have removed your light, or lost yourself, or become corrupted or damaged, or anything else the ego makes up.

Not only have you ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED PERFECTION because God created you perfect to begin with, and you are incapable of changing God's Will, but this also means then that the "spiritual goal" of trying to become enlightened is, itself, unnecessary really, because you already ARE PERFECT LIGHT right now. Anything else which suggests otherwise, must be an illusion or a lie.

So it's like, you were created 100% perfect and whole and complete by God, so utterly perfect that you could not possibly be improved upon or added to. And that self is PERMANENT. It does not go to sleep, it does not really dream or enter a dream, it does not go insane, it does not sin and it does not become affected by anything. Only a TINY PART of that self seems to have dreamed and seems to have entered the dream temporarily, but really it hasn't.

So all this other stuff, the ego stories, the notion that you stopped being perfect and are not this limited, weak, fearful ego self stuck in a body, not sure how to get home or if it's even possible, not even remembering what Home IS or how to get there, forgetting who you are and not even sure if you exist, all this stuff is actually just designed to BLOCK OUT the truth that is ALREADY present, your divine immortal self, which is already DONE, TOTALLY DONE, with any need for awakening, because it is not asleep in the first place.

To think that anything can have happened to you is a lie. To think that you can have changed into someone you are not is a lie. To think that you actually turned into a body is a lie. To think that you are sick or suffering is a lie. To think that you can die is a lie. To think that you replaced what God made with something else is a lie. To think that you changed God's mind or will is a lie. None of this has happened. This entire world we're in is a lie. The human race is a lie. This planet is a lie. ONLY HEAVEN IS REAL. Only the creations of light are real.

So all this while, you think that you are just this little self who is struggling to get to God for the first time.. welll... it's not the first time. You've ALWAYS been with God and can't leave God. So is it the fact that you are away from God and need to go home that you're trying to accomplish, or is it the fact that you actually have NOT left God and the suggestion that you have is, itself, a lie that needs to be undone?

All you need to do here is REMOVE AND UNDO layers of lies and denials which are fictional which are layered ON TOP OF your perfect immortal self, your divine permanent unchangeable self, which is ALREADY PERFECT, in order to reveal and expose your real self once again. Enlightenment is a recognition of who you already are in God, not a change into something you weren't before. The ego has lied to tell you that you changed in the first place and must change again to become what you are not. Which is impossible.

You're already with God. It's a done deal. You can't not be perfect. But like Jesus said, He has nothing that does not come from God - ie He is fully as God created Him to be and has not tried to change that into something else, to deny it or to cover it up. All that we're doing is still coming up with a story about how we have changed God's creation into something else and now have a huge pile of stuff to "do" to fix it. But really we need do nothing but accept what is already true. It is already fixed. "Let me recognize that my problems have already been solved".

We simply need to remove the layers of denial and lies and hiding and avoidance and accept what is already true. This is what it means to accept the atonement. To ACCEPT that God's truth is true. It has nothing to do with accepting life's circumstances or accepting the world or accepting events or whatever else. They don't exist. It's only to do with being vigilant for God's kingdom ONLY and accepting NOTHING ELSE into your mind, because what you accept into your mind becomes real to you. So if you only accept that God's Creation is truth, then you will stop making illusions real and return to full awareness of who you are.

You are not in the business of making yourself. You are not in the business of establishing yourself. You are not in the business of transforming yourself. You are not in the business of producing a perfect self. GOD ALREADY DID IT. You are only in the business of UN-LEARNING the lies you told yourself so that you can admit the truth and become aware again that you already, and still, are perfect as God created you, and it has not changed, and it will never change.