Each to their own. But for me, I cannot reconcile how God can be purely benevolent, peaceful, loving, gentle, kind, happy, soft, life-affirming, life-giving, joyful, etc. ... and in ANY WAY, even CONCEIVE OF .... a thought, idea, creation or otherwise, which could take on the form of things like weapons, pain receptors, teeth, explosions, problems, colliding objects, damage, sickness, death, incompatibilities, conflict and war etc. ALL OF WHICH MUST BE HIS WILL if he created it.

If God is truly truly so incredibly unconditionally loving at all times, incapable of anything BUT love.. .. HOW "on earth" is it ever possible that a world, an environment, a perfect home created just for you, could emerge from his mind and heart, created from that same love and tenderness, and produce horrifically un-traversible landscapes, widespread droughts and lifeless frozen tundras, scorching deserts of starvation and thirst, war zones and stinking trash heaps, the "fetid scent of death", rotten corpses, and all manner of murder.

ALL OF THAT would have to come FROM GOD, by his will, from the purity of his absolute love and gentleness, without a single ounce of cruelty or malice or viciousness or vindictiveness or meanness. There is simply NO WAY... NO WAY EVER, that a benevolent loving God could come up with, condone, allow, permit, cause, will, want or create, an environment in which it is even POSSIBLE... yet alone whether it happens or not, POSSIBLE.... to even have such things as weapons or destruction or things that die.

To claim that this is possible is to claim that God's OWN NATURE, entails and includes, fickle transformations, unstable changes, contradictions, self attack, insane murderous intentions, threat and danger, corruption and malice. ONLY such a nature could ever give rise to such things as machine guns and atomic bombs. ALL of which, if part of HIS world, are part of HIM.

I don't know why anyone reading A Course in Miracles, would EVER come up with a notion that God could have created planet Earth, space or time, along with all of its horrendous malfunctions, limitations, problems, difficulties, cruelties and inherent conflicts. A person would have to conceive of God not as purely absolutely unconditionally gentle and loving and kind, but as some kind of bizarre mysterious twisted strange maker of nightmares and awful landscapes of torture and twisted shapeshifting bullshit. No perfect loving harmless peaceful God, could EVER EVER EVER create this planet and its contents.

This has nothing to do with perception either. It doesn't even require the presence of a single human being standing on the planet looking at it. If we were all wiped out the world would still be horribly cruel, with no-one around to re-interpret it. Because its NATURE is cruelty and punishment and death. This will ALWAYS be its nature because it is made from the idea of an OPPOSITE to beautiful perfect harmony and effortless safety and loving joy of God.

We ARE asked to see this world differently. We ARE asked to not judge it, hate it, attack it, or regard it as real sin - instead to see it as a MISTAKE. We ARE asked to love toward it, thinking more charitably toward it, and even to repurpose it to help us to return to HEAVEN where we belong. But at no time are we asked to WANT the world, to KEEP the world, to MAKE the world be heaven, to TRANSFORM it into something God has created, or to MISTAKE it for heaven. Even a happy interpretation of a broken planet still shows a broken planet.

No amount of forgiveness is EVER going to stop airplanes from crashing, or tigers from ripping the living guts out of live animals, or people shooting each other with guns, or starvation and lack of food, or diseases, or the eventual death of the planet when the sun swallows it whole after burning it to death. You can forgive it, you can bring light to it, you can carry peace to it, you can envelop it in love and happiness, but it's still going to function the same way because that is its non-God-given nature.

God could not, would not, never has, and never will, create a world such as this. If could could or would or had, God would be a complete and total murderous asshole. And I don't think we want that.

"Death is the central dream from which all illusions stem. Is it not madness to think of life as being born, aging, losing vitality, and dying in the end? We have asked this question before, but now we need to consider it still more carefully. It is the one fixed, unchangeable belief of the world that all things in it are born only to die. This is regarded as "the way of nature," not to be raised to question, but to be accepted as the "natural" law of life. The cyclical, the changing and unsure; the undependable and the unsteady, waxing and waning in a certain way upon a certain path, - all this is taken as the Will of God. And no-one asks if a benign Creator could will this." UrM28A1

"The world you see is the delusional system of those made mad by guilt. Look carefully at this world, and you will realize that this is so. For this world is the symbol of punishment, and all the laws which seem to govern it are the laws of death. Children are born into it through pain and in pain. Their growth is attended by suffering, and they learn of sorrow and separation and death. Their minds are trapped in their brain, and its powers decline if their bodies are hurt. They seem to love, yet they desert, and are deserted. They appear to lose what they love, perhaps the most insane belief of all. And their bodies wither and gasp and are laid in the ground, and seem to be no more. Not one of them but has thought that God is cruel." UrT11J2

"Death is the symbol of the fear of God. His Love is blotted out in the idea, which holds It from awareness like a shield held to obscure the sun. The grimness of the symbol is enough to show it cannot co-exist with God. It holds an image of the Son of God in which he is "laid to rest" in devastation's arms, where worms await to greet him and to last a little while by his destruction. Yet the worms as well are doomed to be destroyed as certainly. And so do all things live because of death. Devouring is nature's "law of life." God is insane, and fear alone is real." UrM28A3

"Heaven remains your one alternative to this strange world you made and all its ways; its shifting patterns and uncertain goals, its painful pleasures and its tragic joys. God made no contradictions. What denies its own existence and attacks itself is not of Him. He did not make two minds, with Heaven as the glad effect of one, and earth the other's sorry outcome which is Heaven's opposite in every way." UrW131L7

"This IS the "natural" condition of the separation. And those who learn that it is NOT natural at all, seem to be the UNnatural ones. For this world IS the opposite of Heaven, having been made to BE its opposite. And EVERYTHING here takes a direction EXACTLY opposite to what is true. In Heaven, where the meaning of love is known, love is the same as UNION. Here, where the ILLUSION of love is accepted IN ITS PLACE, love is perceived as separation and EXCLUSION." UrT16F3

In ACIM Jesus warns us against mind-wandering, ie allowing your mind to just go wherever it seems to go with no sense of choosing or spiritual responsibility.

I've found myself mind-wandering about grief recently, causing a lot of upsets. And a lot of emotion had to be felt. But now that it's simmering down I find myself noticing my thoughts more and how they cause suffering.

"I can be attacked by nothing but my thoughts."

"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain."

Hmm.

Well, a few years ago I was at a hospital often with my wife, and quite often there would have to be conversations about the future. And often these were based on circumstantial evidence and opinion, but as a result of even considering the outcomes at all it would cause a lot of upset. Just even having the thoughts at all produced strong nightmarish emotions. But you're "supposed" to think these things through, right? The emotions are just natural right, and you're supposed to have them?

Over time, eventually, I realised that just even having these thoughts, going through these motions, even to just think about and consider "what might happen", was an egoic pursuit that simply generated a lot of unnecessary suffering. The outcomes almost never actually came to pass, the circumstances kept changing, and after a while it seemed pointless to even think about it. People would say that's "irresponsible" but it was really not that helpful to consider how hellish hell was going to be.

In various situations in life, based on the hierarchy of illusions, ie that some things external cause upsets more than others, we also can get lost in kind of "automatic" thought processes. Lines of thinking which are triggered off by external situations, which we think we "have to" think about and entertain. Something happens and our mind goes off on a tangent trying to solve a problem or explore what's happening etc. Victim consciousness kicks in and before you know it you're having a nightmare.

The problem is that all of these reaction-based trains of thought are a form of victimhood and self-attack. Just even going on these thought journeys actually stirs up and chooses suffering, making things worse than they had to be. No wonder you're upset all the time if you're constantly thinking about how upsetting things are.

Over time it becomes more obvious that it's the thoughts really that are the starting point of the suffering. If I just don't think about something, and don't let my ego throw me into certain lines of thinking, I can avoid quite a lot of suffering. This isn't the same as being in denial, in the negative sense, but there can be a positive use of denial which helps you to remain in the truth.

"When you are afraid of ANYTHING, you are acknowledging its power to hurt you."

"True denial is a very powerful protective device. You can and should deny any belief that error can hurt you. This kind of denial is NOT a concealment device, but a correction device. The "Right Mind" of the mentally healthy DEPENDS on it."

I've been noticing this with myself recently also. I seem to be getting a bit of a handle on at least some thoughts about grief and loss. I can see that there are certain thoughts I have along the lines of "she's gone", in which there's a kind of black and white separation-oriented thought. It's almost like a death thought, a thought of separateness and aloneness. This thought isn't very productive and just induces strongly upset feelings. I might think that these feelings are normal and natural or that I "have to have them", but I don't.

I noticed also that reflecting on the past in various ways also was inducing suffering. Thinking about some times that were unpleasant and far from ideal, times that I saw with false perceptions and victimhood, if I would think about them it would make me upset again. And it seemed like I was dwelling on these things because they were unresolved, which led to more upset. Jesus was guiding me to stop doing that but for a while I felt a bit compelled because I was reacting too easily to these lines of thought without being careful with what my mind was doing. Again I didn't realize there was any other "better way".

We think we can just think about anything and it has no consequences. Jesus is teaching us that our mind is powerful and thought can produce real effects.

"People prefer to believe that their thoughts cannot exert real control because they are literally AFRAID of them. "

"Death wishes do not kill in the physical sense, but they DO kill spiritually. ALL destructive thinking is dangerous."

The moral of the story is, you don't necessarily HAVE to have certain lines of thinking. You don't HAVE to consider all possible dire future outcomes. You don't HAVE to dwell on or talk about or go over all the details of stuff that's happened. It's okay to completely avoid talking or thinking about something, not as an attempt to deny it but as a constructive way to have mastery of the power of thought. To be in control of and responsible for what you think, aware of the consequences of what you're choosing.

Thoughts DO have causal power in them and can cause things to happen, as well as being able to cause all forms of suffering. The ego says we can just use thought to think of anything we like with NO effect, but this is totally untrue. It wants to make the mind insert and powerless, and so thinking about "anything" can lead to all kinds of victimhood and upset. You can easily go down dark paths and wander around lost in the woods.

We do have to try to be more vigilant and masterful over our actual thoughts than this. Otherwise we are apt to attack ourselves and make our own situation worse. We need to recognize that thinking can cause pain and suffering, and the right thinking can cause miracles and healing. We need to stay out of drama and thoughts of separateness, of disaster and loss and things being wrong. We need to stay out of thoughts of blame and guilt and it's our own responsibility to stay away from "where angels fear to tread."

At least then we do have the power to prevent ourselves from hurting ourselves, for lessening our own suffering, and preventing having as much upset as we think we must have. We don't have to just go through the motions being a victim, we can get back some power and make a better choice to more responsibly manage and own the minds thought processes. To allow your mind to go into dark places, unchecked and as a string of unconscious reactions, is mis-creation and "makes" suffering and unhappiness and hell.

"Miracle-working entails a full realization of the power of thought, and real avoidance of miscreation. Otherwise, the miracle will be necessary to set the mind ITSELF straight"

"It is hard to recognize that thought and belief combine into a power-surge that can literally move mountains."

"You are much too tolerant of Mind-wandering, thus passively condoning its miscreation."

There is a fairly simple question that can be asked to determine if planet Earth is real, exists, or is God's creation.

There are machine guns in this world. Machine guns full of bullets. The bullets are projectiles which shoot out of this gun and may penetrate other objects. Upon doing so it is capable of ripping holes in things, and if those things are biological organisms it is capable of mowing them down and destroying them and killing them.

Now, that's simply physical fact. That's what the gun does. That's how it functions. That's what it's capable of.

It does not matter if you forgive the gun, it will still function this way. It does not matter if you see it with false perception and hate it, or see it with true perception and love it. It will still function as a bullet-launching death machine, capable of seriously damaging and destroying anything it touches.

Your healed perceptions of the machine gun do not stop it from launching bullets. Nor does your perception change the shape of the gun from being still in the form of a gun. It still has a barrel and a set of machinery and metal bullets. It doesn't matter how many years you've been doing ACIM spiritual practices, it in no way changes a single fact about how that object functions.

Now you have to ask yourself, whether God in his infinite mercy and wisdom and gentleness and love, would EVER conceive of such an object? Because if that machine gun exists, and has reality, then it MUST be of God. It must be part of God's will. It must be what he wants. And God himself must endorse it. In fact God must have designed it himself and co-created it.

How does that sit with you? Even if you forgive the machine gun and send it love and do not blame it and do not project sin or guilt onto it, does it still have a design and capacity for mowing down citizens? Yes it does. Even if you are high on a cloud of spiritual consciousness, does the machine gun still operate according to physical laws? Yes it does. Is it still capable of murder regardless of how spiritual you become? Yes it is.

So you have to ask yourself, would God create such a device? Would God's world, which should be heaven, contain such a device? Could God have willed that such a device be possible? That there can be scenarios in which some of God's other heavenly-created objects are capable of being utterly ripped apart and destroyed in a matter of seconds? Is such a thing allowed and possible and sanctioned in heaven? Is it even a POSSIBILITY, that in God's perfect absolutely infinite immortal reality, that there can be things mowed down with metal bullets?

You have to come to terms with this because the answer is quite important. The ONLY WAY that planet Earth, the physical planet, the solid matter, all of space and time, can have come from God or be in any way God's will, is if God is a maker of weapons. And even if we lift away labels such as weapons and say "that's a lovely beautiful piece of machinery isn't it" in some kind of blissful state of rose-tinted-glasses, we STILL are going to have to accept that IF IT IS PART OF THE KINGDOM, GOD WANTS OBJECTS TO BE BLASTED APART.

So we're really asking now, what is God's nature and will? Can you sleep at night knowing that God is a God who facilitates and supports and contributes to the making of weapons of mass destruction? Is that within God's laws? Does God allow AND support such a thing? Because if he does, what kind of a God is that? And how would a loving, beautiful, gentle, kind, happy God, come up with a design for a very effective "killing machine" as part of HEAVEN?

I think MOST sane or semi-sane people in the world would have to agree, that if God is loving it is HIGHLY unlikely that God could ever be conceived of as personally willing the creation of a machine gun. Not even if the gun is radically forgiven, which has no real effect on the fact that it is still capable of being used to mow bodies down. And regardless of how beautiful and shiny the paint is, regardless of how lovely the sights and sounds of bullets flying are, the fact remains the machinery still functions to attack and destroy. Is is okay with you that God's kingdom, immortal and unattackable, indestructible, has items in it which can in fact still destroy things? God would be contradictory would he not? And heaven would be full of holes.

The only sane conclusion we can come to is that either God is murderous and is responsible for personally willing the making of machine guns and bullets and death and destruction, OR God is not that kind of a God. And if God is not like that, NOTHING like that can exist. Because anything that does exist, HAS to be a part of God's mind and will. Part of his heart. God has to love it and create it otherwise it is nothing and nowhere.

Either, machine guns exist and are real and God created planet Earth and physical bodies and space and time and all the galaxies, which means God must be murderous and cruel, OR, God would never sanely allow, make possible, condone, or contribute to, the making of such objects. And therefore, if God did not create machine guns, planet earth is absolutely unreal, bodies do not exist, destructible objects are absolutely nothing, human bodies don't exist, and there is no world.

Personally for me I can only accept that God's most-beloved Kingdom of heaven CANNOT EVER CONTAIN such objects. Not in any way. Not with any kind of perception or repurposing. Not merely that they don't exist, or haven't been created yet, but that even the POTENTIAL for them to be created does not exist. It must be IMPOSSIBLE for weapons to exist in God. I absolutely cannot bring myself to ever accept or conceive of being able to be at peace and loving with God with the loophole that he is a maker of murderous articles. They simply CANNOT EXIST in heaven's reality.

To me, this is so clear and black and white, there is absolutely no way that there is ANY OTHER way for the machine gun to exist and for it to simultaneously imply that God is benevolent. Either God is loving and exists and is real, OR, machine guns exist and God is murderous and self destructive. That's the choice you have to make. Either earth and bodies exist along with machine guns, OR THEY DO NOT. And quite frankly, we should ALL be recognizing by now that THEY DO NOT.

There will be no machine guns in heaven. Not today. Not ever. And similarly, there are no bodies, and no planet Earth. That is A Course in Miracle's teaching. There IS no other interpretation.

Take a look at this one statement.

"Nothing the body's eyes seem to see can be anything but a form of temptation, since this was the purpose of the body itself."

"You made the body in attempting to deceive yourself". You designed the body to BUY INTO TEMPTATION, so that you would BE deceived by the world and believe it to be real! And everything it sees and senses testifies to the reality of the world. "Only the body makes the world seem real."

This is very extensive. It means EVERYTHING your physical eyes can see, is a form of temptation. Not just small things, or one or two things. EVERYTHING. The whole planet, the stars, all bodies, all objects, every material, all states of matter and energy, all of it. The ENTIRE cosmos of time and space, was made as a form of temptation.

If you also recall, "the world was made as an attack on God." And "the world is a picture of the crucifixion of God's son.". So this "picture" of impossibilities, sins and lies, is sitting there in front of your face, 24/7, TEMPTING you to believe that God is attacked and death is possible. All day, every day, every second of the day, in every object, every body. All of it, constantly trying to tempt you to believe in hell.

Death is not possible in God's reality because God is immortal and permanent. Death is an illusion and cannot be true. Every dead leaf, every roadkill, every decaying flower, every rusted car, every dust-bunny, all discarded trash, every exhaust fume, all poops, every broken object, all sick bodies, every graveyard, it is all trying to say "death is possible and happening". To TEMPT you to believe in hell.

If you start to label everything that "happens", everything you "see", as "temptation", you'll start to get a sense of this. Spend a little while in the day responding to everything by recognizing, "that's a temptation".

"It's trying to tempt me". It applies to everything you see. Cars, houses, people, trees, streets, trash, furniture, food, animals, the sky, whatever. "Only the body makes the world seem real." and "The body's eyes are not the means by which the real world can be seen." So the body's eyes were deliberately designed to MAKE the world seem real, by BUYING into temptation. Everything they see screams, "believe this", or "hell is happening", or "God is overthrown" or "you are not immortal" or "real threat is possible." It's all over the place.

Your challenge then is not to buy into it. Not to fall for the trap. Not to believe what you're seeing and sensing. Not to go along with it. Not to accept it as real. Not to give it credit. Not to assign power to it. Not to use it for attacking yourself. And to not listen to its insane shrieks of sin. Everything the world suggests and believes IS FALSE.

"Nothing the world believes is true. It is a place whose purpose is to be a home where those who claim they do not know themselves can come to question what it is they are."

The only reason you would start to question what you are, is because you're starting to let the world TEMPT you to believe something that ISN'T true. And the whole world is doing this. Your drinking cups are doing this. Your socks are doing this. Your cat is doing this. Your wallpaper is doing this. The grass out the front is doing this. The clouds in the sky are doing this. They all present pictures of IMPOSSIBILITIES, and tempt you to make them real, and to believe in them.

If you put any belief any of it, you are moving into a hellish state of mind, and away from yourself and God. The world, in its entirety, is trying to act like a magnet to draw you into insanity, darkness, despair and suffering. As soon as you take ANY of it seriously, you're going to start having psychological reactions of fear and thoughts of vulnerability. We must remember also the whole purpose of temptation is to make you identified with a BODY. And you actually use the world, through the body's eyes, to testify to you BEING physical.

"Temptation has ONE lesson it would teach, in ALL its forms, WHEREVER it occurs. It would persuade the holy Son of God he is a body, born in what must die, unable to escape its frailty, and bound by what it orders him to feel. It sets the limits on what he can do; its power is the only strength he has; his grasp cannot exceed its tiny reach."

Whenever you take any of the physical world to be true or real, you are lowering your vision, blinded by form, isolating yourself into space and time, associating yourself with the physical, believing you are a physical form such as a body, are shutting out your mind, and are are falling for temptation. To become bound to the body is really the same as becoming bound to hell. You become bound to the WORLD. Bound to the battlefield.

Jesus even suggests that the world is going to CONTINUE trying to tempt you right up till the end. That even advanced teaches of God - not just regular teachers of God but ADVANCED ones, will STILL fall for temptation at times. The world will just continue to present its lies to you so long as it seems to exist.

"Even the most advanced of God's teachers will give way to temptation in this world."

This is why we have to be VIGILANT. Vigilance for the Kingdom of God really means doing the opposite of falling for temptation. Let yourself be tempted by REALITY. Let yourself be absorbed into God's truth and to "believe in" his evidence. Deny the world and accept heaven.

"The world you see must be denied, for it is costing you a different kind of vision."

To have vision, which is to see, which is to NOT be tempted by what the body sees, and to use the spiritual eyes which does NOT depend on physical sight, is to rise above the battlefield of hell and look out through Christ's eyes toward the light of heaven BEYOND the physical.

This is why forgiveness, atonement, true perception, being the light of the world, being as God created you, places you OUTSIDE of the reach of temptation. It places you back into the hands of God. And one who fully embraces God's reality can no longer be tempted by the world.

"We have repeatedly stated that one who has perfectly accepted the Atonement for himself can heal the world. Indeed, he has already done so. Temptation may recur to others, but never to this One. He has become the risen Son of God. He has overcome death because he has accepted Life. He has recognized himself as God created him, and in so doing he has recognized all living things as part of him. There is now no limit on his power, because it is the Power of God. So has his name become the Name of God, for he no longer sees himself as separate from Him."

Lately what I've been trying to focus on is what can be *experienced*. The truth can be described in thousands of words but really it is an experience. We're really talking about you getting to the point where you can experience happiness, experience love, experience peace, experience God. God is an experience.

So what this means is looking at what you are experiencing NOW, and looking at what tools you can practically USE to actaully shift your experience to a happier, fuller, more truthful/authentic one.

And this has nothing really to do with what you are thinking about what you're experiencing or what's going on around it or what you should be experiencing, but the actual direct immediate experience - your feelings, your psychological reactions, your perception of reality, your union with God. What is reality to you right now, in honesty and not trying to 'please' Jesus?

This isn't done on a mental level or in terms of theory or discussion. What you really need is practical tools that WORK that bring about a real TRANSFORMATION of what you are experiencing. You are meant to LIVE the truth, not just talk about it. You're meant to actually feel God's love, live in God's love and be God's love.

What I've been seeing also is that when you try to be or attain a goal or theoretical truth that is too far beyond what you can actually EXPERIENCE, all of your energies start to flow into the intellect because they aren't grounded or rooted in what is real to you. You try to grasp at it and affirm it and think about it and make it seem like you understand it but you're not actually *experiencing* it because it's outside your envelope. It's very easy to conceptualize 'oneness' but, are you actually fully omnipresent and experience absolute unlimited psychological access to every part of existence? Nope.

I can testify that I went to great lengths in my mind and intellect in understanding the Course and the metaphysics and the high-level statements of truth and how it all fits together and all that. I was looking for some kind of a way to experience truth by having the biggest or best thought about it, or the widest grasp of where it fits, or the most abstract or subtle aspects of what Jesus has taught about the truth.

But even when I thought I really really really was getting it and understanding it, mentally, it was NOT followed by a result of experiencing love, or experiencing God. It did not bring peace. And it was like getting to the end of a path that you thought would lead you to the truth or to God only to find out that it does NOT lead there.

It doesn't lead there because its a journey in thinking and intellectualizing rather than the much more real, direct EXPERIENCING of truth. So I had to learn this, the hard way, that it can't be all about the talk or all about the theory or all about the metaphysics. It IS okay to seek for understanding (ACIM says understanding is appreciation of the truth), but you can't EXPERIENCE it on a purely theoretical level.

When we're not actually dealing with what we are experiencing - the immediate interaction of you vs what's in front of your face right now and how your mind is having a RELATIONSHIP with it - then it moves away from here-and-now and becomes removed and distant, turning into just a theory or concept.

Your head, your intellect, is quite capable of handling concepts and theories and thoughts about them, but its as though the intellect is an artificial ego device to be separated from reality, from the here and now. I would find myself tending to even intellectualize my feelings, transferring emotional energy into my head and trying to process it there through thought. Instead of feeling. Instead of experiencing.

I've also seen people get caught up in what they 'should' be doing or are supposed to be believing, launching into 'trying' really hard to force yourself to be those things, without ACTUALLY being able to do so. It creates the spiritualized ego. And when asked questions about what they are experiencing now or what they are really feeling, they are disconnected from it.

They will respond about what they think of it or what it means or what they think they're supposed to say or what lofty course idea they're meant to believe, but they don't REALLY believe it. They don't REALLY mean it. And they're out of touch with where they're really at, cut off from FEELING. Feeling is much closer to being than intellectualizing. But people don't want to feel. They don't want the immediate experience of reality, preferring to be buffered against it by all of these intellectual walls of thought and guilt and shame and force and pressure and ... using the wrong tool for the job.

What you may find as I have, as well, is that what I can experience has certain boundaries that prevent me from experiencing anything too far outside my 'comfort zone'. My mind won't stretch that far. If there's a suggestion to be or do something that I'm just not ready for, there's no way I'm going to be ABLE to do it yet alone willing to do it.

You can be willing enough to take small steps from where you actually are to where you want to get to next, but giant leaps are next to impossible. And when you try to make giant leaps before you're really ready, you will BYPASS, which means you're in denial about what you're really believing and experiencing and are pretending to be further along than you want to admit to. It's the ego that tries to throw you into 'advanced spirituality' before you are really ready or willing or able to actually BE it, because it wants the prowess of 'mastery' without ACTUALLY letting go of enough ego to experience it truly.

So you need to stop, go within, and look much closer to home, much closer to where you are realistically at right now. What are you experiencing right now. What are you feeling. And this is where you have to be really honest. Do you REALLY believe what the course is saying? Probably not. What do you believe instead? You have to work through this stuff. You can't pretend not to have blocks to awareness, you have to ACTUALLY look for them and acknowledge that they're there and then work on transforming your beliefs/viewpoints/attitudes so that you can ACTUALLY be free of these blocks.

They don't go away by sweeping them under the carpet, or by using denial, or by shutting them out, or making yourself unconscious, or bypassing to a level of advancement you're not ready for. There is nothing to be ashamed of in admitting that you are NOT the advanced spiritual successor to Jesus just yet. If you don't acknowledge what you're actually experiencing then you aren't going to be able to change your experience. And I think that's what this is all about - transforming what you are experiencing so that you can experience something better. And this means dealing with the 'reality' of your situation, not some ACIM-driven fairytale about how spiritual you are or how lofty the concepts are or what you are 'supposed' to be like.

How do you feel? Where are you at? What is honestly true for you right now? Have the courage to look at it, feel it, experience it, be with it. Acknowledge how fucked up you are. Then re-interpret your evaluation of yourself and transform your experience of yourself into a genuinely higher version of yourself.

Authenticity.

Over the weekend I came down with what seems to be 'a cold'. Actually it is more likely just a strong 'release', and I find that pretty much every time I have a 'cold' it is accompanied by strong emotional releases.

So anyway.. I was semi-miserable. Suffering a bit.

I wanted to know if any kind of healing was possible, and Holy Spirit hinted that we'd talk about it at night ie before sleeping.

So that time came along and I remembered. And I was also feeling fairly willing to just 'accept' being sick for a while. I thought to myself, well, I made this sickness, so I should actually honor and respect the power that I've wielded and appreciate what I've created. I mean, after all, it's a pretty nice illusion I made, and Jesus does warn in the ACIM text about it being an error to underestimate the power of what we made with the ego. I didn't want to fight with it or attack it. I was trying to be more accepting. I did a little bit of "I love this sickness" and then I asked Holy Spirit:

"Holy Spirit, is there any way at all that there can be a healing of this, or do I have to just accept it for the next 2 weeks of snot and tissues?"

HS: "There is"

So I said, "Ok, I'm willing to admit I don't know anything about healing, I don't know how to heal this, I don't know why I made it or what its purpose is, I don't know why I have it and I don't know what to do about it. Help me to know what I need to 'do' if anything to help you to facilitate healing." And in this, I seemed to be unusually 'open minded' and receptive instead of just going on about what 'I have to do' to fix this. Holy Spirit said:

"Receive God"

I was like, WHAT?! It seemed I was here asking about how to fix this sickness and instead I get an answer that tells me I'm about to be loved?? So I was, like, ok... I let myself just 'receive God' ... like, without doing anything other than receiving and maybe repeating to myself, "receive God".

Immediately I felt a sense of love descend and come into me and it went deeper than a sense of unlove and unworthiness that was in me that I didn't realize was there. And I started to cry because it was beautiful and a relief. And the ego part of me was somewhat in shock because I couldn't figure out WHY God would love me. I had all kinds of ego reactions around it like, why would God love me, I've never been loved, surely I'm not lovable, etc.

Nevertheless, my body started to shake, my hands shook vigorously, I coughed and spewed a bit as I felt something being ejected from me and lifted out. Then I cried a bit more because I could feel how this love was given so FREELY, like, there were absolutely no strings attached, and it wasn't asking that I give anything whatsoever, and was totally unconditional. I couldn't comprehend how or why it was being given so free of any expectations or conditions or requirements, like 'a freebie'. Why would God just give give give? How was it possible that I would be just given to like that?!

Anyway... I felt this healing tremendously helped to lift away a sense of unlove and unworthiness and, in particuarly, a sense that God/Father loved me, which apparently was at the root of my sickness. I felt a lot better. It wasn't all gone, but much improved. I couldn't help but feel grateful, and somewhat in awe, and a bit shocked. I actually felt a slight sense of ... how dare you love me this much without asking for anything in return. It was shockingly unconditional. God loved me MORE than I loved me.

This is then when ego came in and tried in various subtle ways to reproduce or trigger or influence this 'receiving God' thing... like it kept trying to pretend that IT was causing the transmission of love, or IT was able to control it, or IT was going to trigger it off, or IT knew what made the healing flow. And yet it didn't. I noticed all that activity and how it was interfering. And it wasn't until I could stop all of those efforts to "be the healer" that I allowed myself to "receive God" a bit more. Genuinely. To just receive in openness and willingness without trying to force it. Because to receive without 'doing' anything disables the ego from all its activities.

So grateful. And so unexpected.... I had no idea that I was going to receive healing AND be unconditionally loved, like, without having to do or give anything in return, anything other than to just be open and willing to receive. It seemed like such a blessing that really exposed any sense of unworthiness or reasons why I shouldn't.

I asked also then, if it were possible to heal another person this way. Holy Spirit said that the other person has to be "ready to accept willingly". I could understand and accept that. You can't force healing on someone. And I only felt a healing because I was WILLING TO RECEIVE. And it was not anything that *I* did whatsoever. Other people can receive healing from God too, but they have to be willing to accept and allow it. And it has to be pure 100% receiving, not any effort to control or interfere or even to 'give'. I can see how the ego tries to pretend it is seeking healing by trying to force healing or produce it from its own efforts, but real healing is completely counter-ego, requiring the ego to be suspended and uninvolved.

"Receive God". Simple.

I am amazed mostly at how God gives love so freely, so without conditions, so totally and unrestrained. It's like a huge outpouring, a massive giving, almost like a revelation. Everything coming FROM God to you, and your only job is to RECEIVE. Receive receive receive.

It's like sunbathing - God-bathing...you don't go trying to force the sun to shine with your ego, you don't trigger the sun, you don't make it shine on you. You have to surrender and relax and let go and receive the light. The sun does the shining. God does the shining. Difficult to get the ego out of the way and be totally receptive. But it seems like the more I can 'let love in' the more I am allowing myself to be loved, to a depth and extent that I have never experienced or thought possible.

Ahhhhhhh.

Still sniffling today. The 'cold' is still there. But... I know I am healed in some way on some level. A sense of unworthiness has been replaced with worthiness. Thanks God.

One last insight. .. the lesson I needed to learn, in Holy Spirit's words:

"Let God"

"The higher mind thinks according to the laws spirit obeys, and therefore honors only the laws of God."

Since spirit obeys only God's laws, and Spirit is love, expressions of love (miracles) are expressions of the laws of spirit. Spirit is beyond the "nature" of the ego, and therefore miracles have a super-natural, spiritual origin. What you may not realize is that this entire world is constructed from the ego's fake laws of nature, even down to the subatomic physics.

The laws of the ego are invented by the ego. The dream, which is an effect of an "invisible" higher-level cause, does not contain any real causes. But it contains illusions of causes. These illusions of causes make it seem like one part of the same level causes effects in other parts of the same level. This is not true. All effects are orchestrated from a higher level, including the illusion that one thing causes another.

So when you study this fictional "world", and you see one object seeming to move and collide with another object to "cause" it to behave differently, this SEEMS like there is some kind of a law involved. Like the laws of physics, suggesting that actions have equal and opposite reactions.

The truth is that actions do NOT have equal and opposite reactions. Actions on this level are not actions. They are all reactions - effects, pretending to be actions. The action, and its effects, are both effects coming from an unseen dimension.

The ego has been very clever to disguise and hide God's nature and the laws of Spirit, by creating FORM, and nothing is so blinding as sight of form. The behavior and interaction of forms creates an illusion of cause and effect happening on this same level. And so on this level it appears that some things cause other things, and that this is "natural". It could not be further from natural.

What it really expresses is the fact that what is not love is murder, and every part of the ego thought system (of which this world is a part) is murderous. The ego thought system believes that what applies to one thing does not apply to another, therefore there are differences, therefore you can cause (attack) without being attacked (affected).

This is why so-called "causes" in this world seem to escape the effects they inflict on other things. It seems possible to throw a brick through a window without damaging the brick. But since what applies to the brick does not apply to the window, this is an illusion based on differences, and is an expression of a murderous idea. The brick "gets away with" (murders) the window because the so-called properties of the brick (the laws applying to it) are "different" to the properties and laws of the window. It is not "natural" to be murderous, and so this "law of nature" that the brick will break the window is NOT being governed by a natural law or the "laws of physics".

The truth about this universe/world/planet is that it is not run by laws of physics, there is no such thing as physics, and in fact it is run by the mind from a higher level. And it doesn't really exist because it is just a dream being projected and dreams are fictional. This is why "there is no world."

Since all true causality is in the mind, and all of the mind is "above" the level of this world and its effects, when the mind decides to exercise its ability to cause, it can "modify" the content of the dream, or rearrange it, in order to demonstrate and prove that it is NOT really governed by the ILLUSORY LAWS, but by the laws of spirit.

Since spirit is love and love's expressions are miracles, these "acts of love" demonstrating the true laws or "true nature" of existence, MUST DEFY AND BREAK the illusions of horizontal laws that the ego assumes are true.

If a child is playing with a train set and the train is traveling around the track "on rails", seemingly by itself, following physical laws, it can only go where the "laws" seem to tell it to go. However, if the child reaches down and picks up the train and positions it in a totally different section of track, all of those laws are completely defied. Indeed, another child may complain that "you're not supposed to do that" because it breaks the ILLUSION of the game they were playing at PRETENDING the train is going around the track on its own.

The mind of the dreamer is what dictates what shows up, where it shows up, how it shows up, and how it behaves. Any so-called "interactions" of objects are FAKE. The objects would completely pass through each other and occupy the same space if it were not for the MIND deciding to make it seem like they collide with each other and perform a cascade of so-called "reactions". There is no such thing as a real reaction. Spirit creates and extends, it does not react.

This whole world and everything in it was designed to conceal the nature of God and His laws, behind a smokescreen of fake laws and fake nature. To present an illusion that one thing depends on another or causes effects in another, thereby expressing the ego's insane idea of un-equal laws or finite laws which apply only some of the time to some objects. After all, not all objects are causing something to happen at all times, and even objects which are affected turn around and become causes soon after. Are they causes, or effects, or both, or neither?

Nothing in this world has the power to express the laws of Spirit on its own because "form" is the form of ERROR, and error is all about separation and powerlessness and fake causality. Miracles HAVE to express something which is BEYOND the nature of this world, in order for them to be miracles at all. It is not a miracle for a car to drive down a road. It is a miracle for the car to disappear and reappear 50 miles further along in a split second. It is not a miracle for a tree to catch on fire. It is a miracle for the tree to avoid being burned in the midst of a raging forest fire where everything around it was incinerated. Ego laws MUST be defied in order for it to be miraculous.

Miracles obey the laws of Spirit, not the laws of the ego. For a miracle to express, something which the ego APPEARED to establish as true is shown to be FALSE, and is demonstrated to be false, by completely defying and breaking and overriding the ego laws to produce effects which are outside those laws. This would include for example giving someone new eyeballs after they were born without any eyes. Or re-growing a missing limb. Or turning water into wine. Or walking on the top of the ocean without sinking.

If this nature-defying, thus super-natural element is missing from miracles, and if miracles in ACIM are not super-natural, then what are they? There is nothing super natural or ego defying or ego-law-breaking about shifting perception. There is nothing ego-law-breaking or capable of demonstrating that the laws don't apply, in correcting some thoughts. There is nothing that's going to change the direction the world spins when some old emotions are released. There's nothing particularly powerful about any of these efforts at purification. They are just clearing away belief in ego laws to make way for Spirit to express itself.

Separation HAS occurred? Sort of.

Some people claim that it is impossible to explain the "tiny mad idea". It seems logical at first, because when the ego asks a question like "what if", it's not really a question, and the tiny mad idea hasn't "really" happened in reality. It has no real consequences in reality, and it's just a dream.

But the tiny mad idea HAS happened in IMAGINATION. It HAS happened in your mind, and you've "made it real to you". That is why you are sitting there right now reading this on your screen, which *seems* real. A dream "at all" wouldn't even be possible unless God gave you free will to choose to mis-create and dream.

"Whatever is true & real is eternal, & cannot change or be changed. The Soul is therefore unalterable because it is ALREADY perfect, but the mind can elect the level it chooses to serve. The only limit which is put on its choice is that it CANNOT serve two masters."

Your mind has FREEDOM, and therefore can be used to choose EITHER to will with God's will, or to will against it. Either in service to the soul/spirit, or in service to a fictional ego. This freedom granted you the very REAL "possibility" of being ABLE to make this choice, to use will against will, and to mis-create. God would not give you an `option` that could *actually* hurt you at all, and it has not, but this freedom HAS given you the ability to OPT not to laugh at the idea of separation, if you choose.

Jesus also describes below how while you have free will, it is necessary to choose both FOR (toward) God and AWAY from the option of ego/dreaming.

"While the ballot itself is a secret one, and the right to vote is fully protected, voting ALWAYS entails both election AND rejection. If two candidates are voted for for the same position, the machine cancels the ballot automatically.

This is necessary, because a split vote does not represent ANY REAL allegiance.

Free will is the attribute of the mind, NOT the Soul. The Soul always remains changeless, because it never leaves the sight of God.

The Creation of the Soul is already fully accomplished. The mind, if it votes to do so, becomes a medium by which the Soul can create along the line of its own creation. If it does not freely elect to do so, it retains this creative ability, but places itself under tyrannous rather than authoritative control. As a result, what it creates is imprisonment, because such are the dictates of tyrants."

So you can see here that the mind actually has the freedom to "choose to dream" if it wants to. It CAN place itself under tyrranical rule and seem to "sleep". Of course this dreaming is FICTIONAL and it is not REALLY happening in reality, it has no real consequences in heaven, but it IS still a "valid option" that you are free to entertain or ELECT.

This essentially means that, the tiny mad idea is a POSSIBLE CHOICE, but it is not a REAL choice. That's a vital distinction. You COULD choose to dream if you want to, to mis-create, to opposte God's will (or try to), but it's not a REAL option. It's an option of unreality that the mind is quite capable of making if it chooses to. This is why "heaven is a choice I must make" - the mind HAS to freely, willingly, elect to choose heaven, ie the only real option, and not the ego, which is an imaginary option you've tried to MAKE real.

Does this mean the dream "has happened"? It has not happened IN REALITY, but it HAS occurred within the context of the mind's freedom to dream. It doesn't have REALITY to it, but it IS something you are CAPABLE OF PRODUCING through mis-creation. And when you DO freely choose it, with your free will, it will become seemingly real to you because what you accept into your mind becomes your reality.

"To "change your mind" means to place it at the disposal of True authority. The miracle is thus a sign that the mind has elected to be guided by Christ in HIS service. The abundance of Christ is the natural result of choosing to follow him."

The mind has to ELECT (choose) to be under service to Christ. This IS a free-willed choice, not something forced upon you. God does not create slaves.

"Into eternity, where all is one, there crept a tiny mad idea"

There DID creep an idea, a thought, an imagining, into the mind, because IT COULD. The mind CAN DREAM. But the dream that it produces is not real or like God. Elsewhere Jesus refers to it as "an order of reality", meaning that you gave reality TO it to try to turn it into reality, through belief, but the belief is based on a false premise, so it is ultimately unfounded and fundamentally unreal at its core.

"Into eternity, where all is one, there crept a tiny mad idea", at which the Son of God remembered not to laugh. In his forgetting did the thought become a serious idea, and possible of both accomplishment and real effects. Together, we can laugh them BOTH away, and understand that time can NOT intrude upon eternity. It IS a joke to think that time can come to circumvent eternity, which MEANS there is no time."

I will leave you this statement by Jesus:

"The Separation HAS occurred. To deny this is merely to misuse denial. However, to concentrate on error is merely a further misuse of legitimate psychic mechanisms. The true corrective procedure, which has already been described as the proper use of the spiritual eye (or true vision), is to accept the error temporarily, BUT ONLY as an indication that IMMEDIATE correction is mandatory. This establishes a state of mind in which the Atonement can be accepted without delay."

What he means here, is not that the separation is REAL, but that in the MIND, it HAS OCCURRED as a thought, an idea, an IMAGINED possibility. There HAS been an attempt to usurp God's will. There HAS been a "dream". Not REALLY, but ... in the proper context, in the mind, this IS something that we CHOSE, something we TRIED TO MAKE REAL, something we tried to DO, to will it, to mis-create. We DID mis-create. That's the ONLY reason that you are able to be sitting there seeming to be a body reading this text right now. But the ultimate truth is, this is a dream, an unreality, it's ultimately based on a false foundation or premise - that there is an alternative to God's will, and because that is untrue, it is not REALLY REAL. So it hasn't REALLY happened in truth, in the biggest picture.

You DO, in a sense, dream a dream. But you CAN stop dreaming, by changing your mind. Dreaming is a state of MIND, of insanity, believing that time can replace eternity and space can replace God's presence. Effectively, there HAS been a "fall of man", but the fall is imaginary. It is ONLY an idea, but it IS an idea, not less than that. The "existence" of this idea, however, must be temporary, because it is an idea of being temporary, and is naturally limited and finite. It is therefore INEVITABLE that the dream will end and the IDEA - in which this entire physical universe dwells - will disappear.

I think that I recently reached a turning point. It's particularly to do with the sense of being a "separate person". This seemed to come into question, particularly in terms of relationships with others, how I see them, who I think they are etc. And it also very much involved questioning the reality of my body and the bodies of others.

I seemed to be opening up to an idea of oneness, a sense of sharing, of joining minds, and that others are a part of myself. I could see how I had been trapped inside a kind of prison of isolation for a long time, identified with my body and with being "not others". As if everything I did and how I thought about people all revolved around this sense of me being separate from them. I found myself apologizing a lot in my mind for all the ways I'd been wrongly separating myself off through various forms of conflict and scapegoating.

As I embraced more the idea that my brothers are part of myself, this began to transcend bodily boundaries. It also began to open up a sense of inclusion and shared interests. I started experimenting with the idea of "being" other people, and trying to include them in myself as I related to them. It changes the energy dynamics completely and totally deflates all sense of going to war. I realized this was a major part of the golden rule, the atonement, the idea of sharing, and deeply connected to true miracle-working.

Since that turning point, and as this sense of joining continues to expand, I've been noticing a few things that are changing. I feel as though I am stepping outside of a box that I've been in. As if there's been a little circle drawn on the floor around my feet and I've never before stepped outside the circle. Everywhere I've gone, I've still been inside the circle, cut off from people. And as I now step outside of it, it makes me realize all the more that the body is a device for separation.

In particular I feel that I've been just stuck in the idea of "I am a body" my whole life, and that the body has served as a way to remain separated off. I suddenly started seeing how every way I related to people was a special relationship, based on them being "not me", and all revolving around the body being the thing that separates me off. Seeing other people as confined to their bodies. Seeing myself as only that which is inside this body.

This boundary, which has been there, is now recognized as being the "cause of" a great deal of struggle, conflict, loss and unhappiness. Being identified and anchored to this body and "excluding" others, has formed the basis of all scapegoating, justifying all finger-pointing, all blame, all sense that something applies to others and not me. I see the body now as the core of what keeps me apart from others. And if I separate them off based on their body being separate from my body, that's the whole trap.

Suddenly I find myself stepping outside of this entire dynamic. Transcending bodies. Including people as a part of myself. Developing a sense of shared identity. I realize that peace is only possible by sharing and joining, because only in oneness is there no separation or war. And that it is ONLY through joining of mind and sharing an identity that you can actually work true miracles. It literally requires the two minds to have a shared sense of oneness and identity which transcends bodies. It is that mystical, psychological, joining of two beings as one, that literally undoes the separation, and therefore sickness and death.

I see now much more clearly the "road home", as being a movement away from being separated off, and towards being reunited with others. Of finding more ways to include others in myself. And I see that this truly is the only way to end the war, the conflict, the arguments, the projections, and all the ego activities. We came from a state of union and we have to return to it.

It is quite startling in fact to recognize that, in truth, we are supposed to be basically everywhere, united with everyone, sharing everything, one with all minds, being a part of all beings, and that in contrast, bodies are doing the absolute extreme opposite of that. They are serving as ways to keep people apart, promote conflict, imprison and trap, produce loneliness and isolation, and breed sickness.

I can see now in fact that it is my belief in being separate that fuels sickness in myself and others. It is the very sense of the rift or split in my mind - our mind - a sense of us not being one with each other, that manifests as illness. I have been producing illness between myself and others as a projected form of the idea of being at war with them.

Pictures of crucifixion have arisen as psychological images of dream-weapons held up to support the idea of "not being each other". Of being in a state of attack and special relationship. A state of separating off and being an enemy. It breeds a dream of death that I've been doing to myself. And always whenever the body is involved as a separation device, the relationship is always one of specialness and conflict and hatred.

It feels like coming out of a shell, out of hiding. It feels like realizing that you've been living in a prison cell all your life, anchored inside the body, and suddenly are realizing that this has hemmed you in and has tended to make you withdraw to your isolation as a way to solve problems. Now that I suddenly realize I don't have to be trapped in the body, I can spread my wings and encompass others, be more inclusive and share more.

It's strange but this seems also be precisely what it means to truly forgive. Because forgiveness isn't just about recognizing people's innocence. Forgiveness is atonement, atonement is sharing, and that means joining of minds. Forgiveness literally entails and requires minds to be inclusive of each other. It's not just a state of truer perceptions and more accurate judgements, it's actually a state of union and sharing. A return to shared identity and being.

As a result, and without deliberately attempting to do so, I suddenly am noticing myself giving people far more credit, benefit of the doubt, charity, etc. Just as I found myself doing in certain forgiveness meditations, such as in lesson 121 in the course - forgiveness is the key to happiness, in which you are guided to see light in an enemy and find ways to credit them with the good they've done rather than focus on their shortcomings.

I find myself seeming to put my arms around people psychologically, my mind keeps taking an automatic step away from holding things against people and has this sort of "space" between where they're at and what I credit them with. I seem to be transcending their bodies and their egos along with my own. And that means, what I feel to be, true forgiveness is happening. I'm actually taking a vantage point, generalized and widespread, in which I am literally being more forgiving all the time, more loving, more inclusive, and more sharing.

I've been finding myself suddenly opening up to people more, connecting with people, serving people, helping people more than ever. It is diminishing and removing fears about relating to strangers, and seems to be powering me, not with some kind of bravado or arrogance but with gentleness and connection. I seem to be opening up. And to me that means that, living as a separated off body-identified self means being closed down. It means being cut off from others.

The simple truth is that bodies have been lying to us this whole time. We've bought into being bodies hook line and sinker. And that means being separated from each other, because bodies are literally never joined. The more we are a body the less we share. The more we are a body the more we are at war. The more we are a body the more confined we become to one little spot in the world, which becomes the center of the ego universe, and everyone else becomes an enemy.

Getting away from being a body is the key. It's like opening a door that I never realized was shut all this time. I've been doing this same thing over and over and over forever. Everything I've said and thought and done and related has been still within the confines of this prison cell. Still from a vantage point of being a separated self, a self that is not shared with other selves. A self that isn't united or whole or one or part of a sonship. The unhealed healer that is suffering from "separation sickness" and thinks they have something that others lack - ie that they lack me.

That's been the one common denominator this whole time, and now I'm learning to open the door and step outside. To expand my sense of self, to include myself in others, and to become a part of life. To restore relationship and connection, as well as to uphold health and wholeness. And I knew, it's not going to be long, as this continues to develop and increase, the movement towards being able to truly join minds and perform miracles of union.

Sharing is the key. Joining is everything. The oneness is our true nature. Not in rejection of our individual souls, but joining them together as a collective. We are still a holographic family, many yet one, each other yet ourselves. This means still being "me", but it also means being "more than just myself" and including others in what I am. I've focused too much on the "separate me" part and not enough on the "oneness" part. And it was the "oneness" part of that that I was missing out on. Not any more.

"One brother is all brothers. Every mind contains all minds, for every mind is one. Such is the truth."

"Be free today, and carry freedom as your gift to those who still believe they are enslaved within a body. Be you free, so that the Holy Spirit can make use of your escape from bondage to set free the many who perceive themselves as bound and helpless and afraid. Let love replace their fears through you. Accept salvation now, and give your mind to Him Who calls to you to make this gift to Him. For He would give you perfect freedom, perfect joy, and hope that finds its full accomplishment in God."

At all times you perceive ONLY what you believe is true. This can be a trap when you're not ACTUALLY believing the Real Truth.

What it does, is it makes you think that you are seeing everything there is to see, when in fact you are only seeing a 'version' of reality that has your idea of truth/reality projected onto it.

So then you get stuck, because you think, well, today I feel afraid because the world is scary. Or, today I am happy and everyone seems happy too. Or, today I am terrorized and the world is full of terrorists, etc.

What I've noticed is, that the kind of world I see totally depends on what is going on inside of me. And I'll be convinced that I'm seeing OBJECTIVELY, as though I'm not having anything to do with why the world appears to me the way it does. And so then I don't see any way out of it - my only choice is to try to 'cope' with it.

So if you think of the world as being like a mirror, in which you see reflected your own mind's content, you'll be basically looking at yourself everywhere you go. And by yourself I mean, your belief in whatever you think is true. Because whatever is 'true' for you, you take that as your identity and as your reality, regardless of whether it is actually true.

So your perception of the world is usually SUBJECTIVE, and limited, BUT you do not realize that you are being subjective and limiting in the way you're looking at what's there. You don't realize you're filtering OUT stuff because of the way that your idea of truth filters IN stuff. You select some attitudes or beliefs as 'correct' and others as 'incorrect' and all of that incorrect stuff ends up outside of your awareness - you make it unconscious through rejection and denial.

For example, if I choose to be loving, it is extraordinary that, all of a sudden, it seems like there aren't any reasons to be afraid. People seem less threatening. Life seems more fun. But if I don't be loving, I feel more afraid, and more threatened, and it really seems like other people are the cause of the threat - like they 'really are' being threatening. But them seeming to be that way and me experiencing fear go hand in hand... they go together.

What you experience in your perception is ALWAYS matched up to/aligned with what kind of a world you will see. If you are in fear, you can ONLY see a fear-inducing world. If you are in love, you can ONLY see a love-inducing world. And so if the world seems to suck, it's because you believe that you suck. Or rather, you believe in some things which suck but you think they don't suck.

And that's part of the trap. You can get lost in your narrow filtered perception, thinking you're really seeing everything there is to see, and that you're seeing correctly and clearly, when in fact you are majorly distorting and blocking out many parts of 'what is out there', because you're blocking it in your mind. When there are no blocks, you'll see 'the forgiven world', because you will have forgiven yourself. But when you haven't forgiven yourself, you will see a condemned world, because you have condemned yourself.

You'll notice then that whatever experience you're having of the world 'out there', it seems to 'call for' or directly map to certain 'reactions' of a given amount of severity. And when the world 'out there' seems to be intense and serious, you seem compelled to also have an intense serious reaction, because you always connect what you perceive out there with what's going on inside of you.

If the world out there seems to 'make a move' and do something to 'make' situations worse, your ego self is pulled right along with the story and down into the story, where YOU become the mirror of what's happened. And you have a severe reaction. Whereas when YOU decide to make a move, realizing that you are NOT seeing everything there is to see, that you are only seeing the past, and that everything that's happening right now is because of PAST decisions and the future DOES NOT have to be the same, now you are starting to step outside of your own 'reality bubble'. You can deliberately choose to accept more love into yourself, within, and therefore REVEAL to yourself more love without - which, by the way, was always there, just hidden.

The way that the out-there maps to the in-here is what sets up the "hierarchy of illusions". ie, varying kinds of inner and outer statements of truth cause reactions of equivalent amounts. It's almost like in the law of physics where each action has an equal and opposite reaction. Each external-seeming event produces an equal response in the ego within - because secretly, that's where it CAME FROM.

So be careful not to get stuck in thinking that you are being objective. The only objectivity is PURE LOVE. If you are not in pure total love, you are filtering reality and have blocked yourself from being aware that LOVE IS PRESENT. You do not see God because you think he is not there, and you think this is an objective fact, but the only reason you don't see God is because you do not believe God is in your mind. Your mental blocks to love cause the world outside of you to seem like a blocked, insane place.

It is extremely easy to get stuck in this, for example if you are afraid, you will perceive that the whole world 'really is' a fearful place, and that fear is JUSTIFIED because of the kind of world you see. But you don't realize that the fearful world you see is fearful BECAUSE you are being afraid. It did not cause the fear, it is a PROJECTION of the fear. A mirror. A reflection. So while you're having your insane nightmare, and really believe that bad stuff is happening outside you, it's because bad stuff is happening inside you. They go together hand in hand.

So you have to be willing to make a kind of leap of faith. The leap of faith says, maybe there is a greater reality, a greater truth, outside of what I currently believe, outside of my self-imposed prison, and outside of the condition of the world as I currently see it. Maybe there is are hidden parts to what's out there, that I don't currently see, because I am blocking it. And maybe, maybe God is out there, and maybe God is love, and maybe I am just not seeing and experiencing God's presence because I'm blocking it. Maybe BEHIND and BEYOND my blocks, love is still there, with me.

This is what faith is about... hurdling over the obstacles to peace and trusting that God is still love and you are still love regardless of how your perception CURRENTLY looks. It isn't about staying IN your current subjective perception and believing that it is objective reality or that you have to stay there, because in order to BECOME aware of God's love you must actually GO past those blocks and OPEN UP to the awareness that God really is present. And for that, you have to remove those blocks and filters from your mind, otherwise you simply cannot see Him right in front of your face.

God is right with you right now, smiling and happy. If you're not experiencing that, you've got some healing to do. The forgiven world is right in front of your face right now, filled with love and light, and if you're not seeing that, you've got some forgiving to do. Ultimately, you are still with God right now and the separation hasn't happened, and if you're not seeing that, you've got some undoing to do.

Be willing to be mistaken about how the world looks to you. You're not seeing it clearly unless you're seeing love.

So ultimately, when you are afraid, or you're struggling with the world in the way that the world 'is' (seems to be). .pause a moment and ask yourself, is it possible I am not seeing all of reality? Is it possible that my justification for being afraid or upset is actually CAUSING myself to see the world incorrectly and PRODUCING the justification? What if ... what if I choose instead to be more loving or truthful or authentic, and maybe keep my mind open to the possibility that WHEN I CHOOSE LOVE, I WILL SEE LOVE.

And when you do choose love, that love in you will shine away all of the fear and all of the seeming 'reasons' to be afraid. And all problems will melt. And you'll have no way to justify the ego, because all of its justifications only seem true from WITHIN it. Once you step outside of your private reality bubble, the ego is gone and there is NO REASON to be afraid or upset, because all that's left is God's love. When there is only love, and that is true for you, there is no reason to be afraid. Literally. There only seems to be reasons to be afraid when you are afraid. If you CHOOSE not to be afraid and to be love instead, all of the 'reasons' for fear will completely disappear from your awareness. They were just illusions.

So it takes a willingness to go beyond yourself, beyond your blocks and self-made limits, and to realize YOU ARE NOT STUCK because you have a CHOICE and if you exercise that choice and stop believing your own HALLUCINATIONS, and your own filtered version of reality, and realize that all your reactions TO it are PART OF you MAKING IT seem to be the way it is, you can make a LEAP into a more truthful, loving experience, in which you are absolutely safe because there is only love there.

There is no fear or danger or death in reality. There is no cause for alarm. There is only safety and love and peace. How else can God be constantly at peace if there were ever reasons to threaten that? God is the peace that God experiences. Herein lies the peace of God.