"At no single instant does the body exist at all. It is always remembered or anticipated, but never experienced just now. Only its past and future make it seem real. Time controls it entirely, for sin is never present." - ACIM
Although it can seem like you can look at your body "right now" and see it "now", you might not realize that this is not actually "now" that you are seeing it. Rather, you are seeing how it was just a moment ago.
Even in terms of the body's sensory organs itself, it takes "time" for signals of sight to travel through space into the eyes, through the optic nerve, into the brain, into the mind, to perceive what is out there. You do not actually see the body as it is immediately now, you see how it just was a moment ago. The body is always in the past for you.
It is never possible to experience or see the body as it would be immediately in the exact present. Presence requires absolutely no space and no time. It is immediate and direct, with no gap and no delay. In such a present, it is not even possible to perceive. Perception happens in time and space and relies on separation. Only awareness can be present - an awareness of the presence of God.
While you can do a good job of approaching the present, you'll find that you have a lot of trouble actually being squarely in it. For example you can watch your breathing and try to always keep up with exactly how the breathing is acting right now, in the present. But you'll find that instead of always flowing along in the present moment precisely, your awareness will lag behind. You'll attempt to attach to or grab hold of what you're perceiving, and will stutter along from one grasp to another, as the mind tries to get a grip of what's coming. It's anticipating the future, or it's holding onto the past, and slightly missing the immediate present.
To put it another way, the present happens slightly sooner than your ability to perceive it. It is always quicker than the ego. It is always more immediate and transcends time and space. You will not be able to latch onto it or keep up with it without complete surrender to the Holy Instant.
The body does not exist in the present. It exists as a manifestation of delay and avoidance. It is always slightly in the past, or being anticipated in the future. Even though there is what seems to be an illusion of it existing "now" it is not really now. You never see it now. This is also why Jesus says that it is impossible to see a sinless body, because sinlessness is so immediate that it transcends time and space and the body itself.
The body IS the idea of sin, and it is always separate from the presence, because sin is always separate from the presence of God. The body will always be sin and made of sin. It cannot be truly holy. It can be used for a holier purpose but of itself, it is not made by love and cannot be inherently holy, because it is not wholeness. This is why, being sin, it MUST disappear, in order to enter the eternal presence of God. It is an illusion which must be given up and let go. Otherwise if the body were capable of perfection, it would truly substitute for God and we would never wake up.
The ego is very clever at creating illusions. It very cleverly makes it seem as though there IS no present. There's an entire section in the course about how the ego uses the past to "gloss over" the present and extend the past into the future so that there appears to be no present. Even if you are looking at this text right "now" and seeing it "now" it is NOT happening now. You're experiencing the past. This is why the workbook says "I see only the past" or "I see nothing as it is now". It's not possible TO see anything as it is now, other than God. The entire world is therefore in the past and so is already over.
We are never present in this world. This world and presence are incompatible.
There is a huge difference between CREATING, and MAKING. "The world you MADE" is NOT a world that's been CREATED.
Creation is the perfect extension of the whole of God. God creates perfect children who are perfect mirror image reflections of Himself. They are given ALL of God. They are equipped to create fully and wholly, just like God, with no lack or limitation. The creations of these creators are also just as equipped to create perfection and wholeness.
At every step of the extension, there is no loss of abilities, no differences, no partial inheritance, no lack, no interruption to creative power, and no interference with sharing absolutely everything of God. Every created being shares the entire whole of creation and is fully unlimited in every way. The creation is a continuous line which extends forever as a whole, which creates wholes, who in turn create wholes, on and on and on. Each created being has ALL THE ABILITIES of its parent, and what is true of the father is true of the son.
Now, **MAKING** is not like this at all.
Making is based on a belief that there is lack, limitation, restriction, a lack of inheritance, a lack of perfection, differences, something missing, and is actually the idea of death. To make, rather than create, is an attempt to put the brakes on extension and bring creation to a halt. It is the attempt to bring about an END to creation, so that that which is made is NOT ABLE to create, CANNOT replicate itself in its own likeness, and completely fails to extend.
The collapsing down of creative power, the distorting and interruption of perfect extension, the mangling of God's will, the twisting of reality, and the dreaming of creating something UNLIKE God, has produced THIS WORLD, which is the idea of sin and death, and is TOTALLY UNLIKE THE FATHER.
It is through MAKING, which is actually an attempt to NOT CREATE ANYTHING, and is also an attempt to deny creation and bring creation to a STOP, that we "made this world." Planet Earth, and the rest of this universe, is "the world you made" per ACIM terms.
When you look at this world you can see WHY this is true. Nothing in this world can extend. Nothing in this world can create a perfect mirror image reflection of itself. What is true of any parent here is NOT perfectly true of its children. Forms and bodies and physical objects are NOT able to extend themselves indefinitely, nor can they create more of their own self in their own likeness.
This is because the world is fundamentally the picture of the crucifixion of God's son, it was MADE as an attack on God/Creation, it was made so that God could enter not, AND it runs completely CONTRARY to your nature. It is the nature of your soul to extend God's being forever. It is this world's nature to PUT A STOP to that. This happens at the level of PHYSICAL MATTER, not perception. Matter is fundamentally made of the thought of the idea of an end to life, the thought of separation.
Through making, we invented "an end to creation" and "an end to life". Making, is death. It produces a condensing of expression, a collapsing of unlimitedness, an imposing of limits, the manifestation of FORMS of error, the production of pictures of sin, and the solidification of the idea of grinding to a halt. This forms PHYSICAL MATTER, which is extremely resistant and dense. Jesus says we made this world from UNWILLINGNESS, which is why it is very hard to change it.
Truly then, this whole universe is what it looks like when you try to stop the extension of God's creation, resist life, deny immortality, reject God's will, oppose the nature of Heaven, and try to bring about DEATH. It literally ENDS in death, and it is literally MADE OF the idea of death, because in this world ALL PHYSICAL FORMS CANNOT CREATE OR EXTEND.
You take a computer and you design a car. The computer operates the machinery and robots and the people play their part to build the car. But, now because the car has been defined as specific forms, with limitations imposed on it, it has now lost the ability that the engineers have. The car, cannot create, other cars.
Even the human body and the bodies of other "death forms" are not capable of creating a perfect reflection of themselves. Human children may inherit traits from one parent and not another, or even from prior generations. None of them are alike and none of them represent the truth of the parent. All forms are different and lacking and every body is incomplete, keeping the rest of existence outside of itself and isolated.
This world, quite literally, down to the particles and energy (really thought) that it seems to be made of, is MADE OF the IDEA - the thought - of "what is it like if life comes to an end" or "what is it like if unlimited extension is limited and stops".... and this is the idea of **death** - the END of eternal life. "Without the idea of death, there is no world." There literally CANNOT BE a planet Earth without the idea of death, which means, without the assertion that EXTENSION MUST STOP, CREATION MUST END, and therefore that LIFE IS ENDED.
Life, REAL LIFE, is of Heaven. "Only the creations of light are real." "There is NO LIFE outside of Heaven." Earth, which is "outside" of Heaven, HAS NO LIFE. It is a picture of death. Real life extends forever, has immortality, lives without sickness or suffering, is fully and wholly creative, ONLY CREATES WHOLENESS, and extends life itself forever. This ONLY happens in Heaven.
Fake life, which is really various degrees of the idea of death, even if the body is "holy" or "a picture of immortality", is STILL A DREAM OF DEATH, and still a separated state, and still NOT perfect unlimited extension of God's being. This world, this planet, your body, my body, are all illusions of life MIXED WITH the idea of death, and so are all limited.
All "semi life, semi death forms" here, WILL PERISH, because they were MADE in the idea of EXCLUDING GOD, which means they are made WITHOUT LIFE, and they are literally made NOT TO LIVE FOREVER. They are LITERALLY an expression of an attempt to MAKE LIFE END. All dreams, are dreams of death. Therefore all things MADE automatically have an END. "The world will spin into the nothingness from which it came". The world WILL END. The dream WILL END. It has to because it has ENDING built into it. It is made FROM the idea of the END of existence.
Jesus says "A world which attacks itself and denies its own existence cannot exist." This is earth. Earth is a DENIAL OF EXISTENCE. It's an attempt to reject Heaven, an attempt to OPPOSE Heaven in every way, and an attempt to assert "there is no heaven." This world was MADE BY YOU from the notion that God's world, God's creation, DOES NOT EXIST, and is the attempt to prove it, by picturing the idea of "world does not exist". This world, is a picture of NOT EXISTING. It is denial of life and denial of self. And that is death. And it is non-existence. WHICH IS WHY IT DOES NOT EXIST.
Similarly, ONLY CREATION IS REALITY. Anything which extends forever perfectly has eternal life and is REAL. Anything which is MADE, which is NOT CREATED, and which is the illusion of a resistance to reality, IS UNREAL, and DEOS NOT EXIST. Therefore, because this world is the world you ***MADE***, NOT the world you "created", IT HAS NOT BEEN CREATED. It has not been created by God because God only creates eternal life and perfect extension. This world IS NOT EXTENSION AT ALL. It is NOT CREATION. It is MAKING. And making is the fiction of opposing God's will. THIS WORLD IS NOT GOD'S WILL. IT HAS NOT BEEN CREATED. IT DOES NOT EXIST. THERE IS NO WORLD!!!
Jesus describes the process of becoming sick...
"Sickness is a decision. It is not a thing that happens to you, quite unsought, which makes you weak and brings you suffering. It is a choice you make, a plan you lay, when for an instant truth arises in your own deluded mind, and all your world appears to totter and prepare to fall. Now are you sick, that truth may go away and threaten your establishments no more."
What happens is, we're in a deluded mindset (ego) and are misperceiving and misinterpreting reality. Then we are exposed to the truth, but in our thought system what is actually true is perceived as "false", because we see truth in what is false and vice versa. That's part of our delusion.
So instead of seeing the truth for how it really is, we see it as an enemy. In particular the ego sees the Holy Spirit as an enemy, just as the ego sees the miracle as an enemy.
By misperceiving the truth, i.e. filtering it and reinterpreting it and coming to a conclusion that it has properties of "falseness", in our twisted thought system this means it is an enemy, or it's evil, or its attacking what we are, or is against us in some way.
The "natural reaction" to this PERCEPTION (albeit a mistaken one), which is totally understandable, is to DEFEND YOURSELF. You tend to want to get away from what you believe is false, and draw yourself towards that which is true for you. Whether or not your idea of truth is back to front or not is a different matter.
So your natural reaction to your OWN misperception of the truth, is to defend yourself, because you see attack IN it, which you have projected onto it. You therefore believe you are seeing an enemy, and you want to escape.
You want to get away from that which you see as false, because it is evil, riddled with darkness, vicious and sure to threaten you. In the interest of preserving your sense of SAFETY, and in effort to DEFEND THE TRUTH (at least, your delusional truth), and in the interests of maintaining your sense of INNOCENCE (albeit mis-identified), you use your creative powers to put up a DEFENSE.
This defense is something you do with your mind. It is resistance. It is denial. It is an attempt to disassociate yourself from the truth, to put distance between you, to emphasize the separation between you and it, and therefore effectively SHUT YOURSELF OFF FROM LIFE. Truth is life, i.e. God, so as you defend yourself against God, you produce the opposite of life - a movement towards death. All forms of sickness are partial deaths. There is not really such a thing as sickness, only life or death - and death is an illusion.
Therefore you believe that you've actually done the right thing, that you've defended yourself, that you've upheld the truth, that you've maintained innocence, and that you've blocked out some vicious murderous God who wants you dead. You really believe that you've actually made a wise move and that you are BETTER OFF being rid of, or having escaped, the terrible monster that you MIS-INTERPRETED the truth as.
As you continue with such delusions, you can drive yourself to death, believing fully that you are all the while defending the truth, upholding innocence, protecting reality, and thwarting the 'real menace' of God. People commit suicide every day. Every person who dies is choosing to die in order to escape from God. Death is a choice for self-murder, to escape Life, because Life has now been wrongly perceived as DEATH. Life and death have been flipped, their roles and meanings inverted, and you are now convinced that dying is actually a choice for life - that it is your SALVATION, and that it will bring you PEACE! Hah.
So you can see how deluded we can be, that the truth contains horrors we do not want. But the fact is, the truth is a blank mirror, in which we see a REFLECTION of all of our own delusional beliefs. When it looks frightening, it is ONLY because it does not support, uphold, or even acknowledge, the egoic belief system and all that it believes in. Thus when we are ego-identified, we believe we are defending ourselves from a separate enemy, but we're actually running away from our own SHADOW.
This is why we need to forgive God, i.e. undo our delusion that illusions are real, or that there is a truth other than God's truth. It is also why we need to have "a little willingness" to be mistaken - that our sense of truth may not be the real truth, and become open to accepting God's truth as our truth - sharing truth with Him. This opens the way for healing miracles. But even moreso, it is the RESURRECTION of the Son of GOd.
The sick are merely delusional and self-deceived in what the truth really is, believing that the opposite is true. They do not realize they are choosing against the truth, and that by doing so it produces sickness. And then sickness seems to come about almost accidentally through mis-creation. Before you know it, you're sick and suffering and heading for death. But this can ALWAYS be corrected, and you can ALWAYS choose again.
Correction is needed, and that is all.
Holy Spirit is the answer. He is here to help awaken you from the ILLUSION that death is real, that death will protect you from death, and that God is evil.
God is love. Love is all there is. Love is what you are.
A selection of quites about the causes of physical sickness, from A Course in Miracles.
THE CAUSES OF BODILY (PHYSICAL) SICKNESS
"Sickness is anger taken out upon the body, so that it will suffer pain."
"The central lesson is always this; that what you use the body for it will become to you. 2 Use it for sin or for attack, which is the same as sin, and you will see it as sinful. 3 Because it is sinful it is weak, and being weak, it suffers and it dies."
"The body cannot create, and the belief that it CAN, a fundamental error responsible for most of the fallacies already referred to, produces all physical symptoms."
"Sickness or "not-right-mindedness" is the result of level confusion"
"Sickness is a defense against the truth."
"Its health or sickness depends ENTIRELY on how the mind perceives it, and the purpose that the mind would use it FOR."
"Sickness is idolatry, because it is the belief that POWER CAN BE TAKEN FROM YOU."
"For sickness is a meaningless attempt to give effects to causelessness, and MAKE it be a cause."
"Sickness is a demand the body be a thing that it is not."
"Sickness is but a "little" death; a form of vengeance not yet total."
"What is a sense of sickness but a sense of limitation? Of a splitting OFF and separating FROM?"
"This heals at all levels, because all sickness comes from confusing the levels."
"The arrest of the mind's extension is the cause of all illness, because ONLY EXTENSION IS THE MIND'S FUNCTION. Block this, and you have blocked health because you have BLOCKED THE MIND'S JOY."
"To believe that a Son of God can be sick is to believe that part of God can suffer."
"When a brother is sick it is because he is not asking for peace, and therefore does not know he has it."
"For sickness is an election; a decision. It is the choice of weakness, in the mistaken conviction that it is strength."
"Sickness is a method, conceived in madness, for placing God's Son on his Father's throne. God is seen as outside, fierce and powerful, eager to keep all power for Himself. Only by His death can He be conquered by His Son."
"If sickness is but a faulty problem-solving approach, it is a decision. And if it is a decision, it is the mind and not the body that makes it."
"Sickness is a retreat from others, and a shutting off of joining. It becomes a door that closes on a separate self, and keeps it isolated and alone."
"Sickness is but another name for sin."
"Perceiving the body AS A SEPARATE ENTITY cannot but foster illness, because it is not true."
"Any form of mental illness can truthfully be described as an expression of viciousness."
"We said before that illness is a form of magic."
"The mind makes this decision as it makes all decisions responsible for the condition of the body."
"A damaged body is proof the mind has not been healed."
"Damaged bodies are accusers."
"Sickness is not an accident. Like all defenses, it is an insane device for self-deception."
"You suffer pain because the body does, and in this pain are you made one with it."
"It will be healed of all the sickly wishes that it tried to authorize the body to obey."
"If you let your mind harbor attack thoughts, yield to judgment or make plans against uncertainties to come, you have again misplaced yourself, and made a bodily identity which will attack the body, for the mind is sick."
"Sickness is a decision. 2 It is not a thing that happens to you, quite unsought, which makes you weak and brings you suffering. 3 It is a choice you make, a plan you lay, when for an instant truth arises in your own deluded mind, and all your world appears to totter and prepare to fall. 4 Now are you sick, that truth may go away and threaten your establishments no more."
"How do you think that sickness can succeed in shielding you from truth? 2 Because it proves the body is not separate from you, and so you must be separate from the truth."
"Sickness where guilt is absent cannot come, for it is but another form of guilt."
"Physical illness represents a belief in magic. "
"All forms of sickness even unto death, are physical expressions of the fear of awakening. They are attempts to reinforce UNCONSCIOUSNESS out of fear of CONSCIOUSNESS. This is a pathetic way of TRYING NOT TO KNOW by rendering the faculties for knowing ineffectual."
"Pain demonstrates the body must be real. 2 It is a loud, obscuring voice whose shrieks would silence what the Holy Spirit says, and keep His words from your awareness."
"Pain is a wrong perspective. 2 When it is experienced in any form, it is a proof of self-deception."
"And idols are not wanted there, for guilt is understood as the sole cause of pain in any form."
"And you are free of dreams of pain because you let him be. 6 Unless you help him, you will suffer pain with him because that is your wish"
"No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision. 2 No one suffers pain except his choice elects this state for him. 3 No one can grieve nor fear nor think him sick unless these are the outcomes that he wants. 4 And no one dies without his own consent"
"Let me not try to make another will, for it is senseless and will cause me pain."
"Yet can the mind deny that this is so, believing there are gaps in love where sin can enter, bringing pain instead of joy."
"How do you think that sickness can succeed in shielding you from truth?"
"When attack in ANY form enters your mind, you are EQUATING YOURSELF WITH A BODY."
"The sick are merciless to everyone, and in contagion do they seek to kill. Death seems an easy price, if they can say, "Behold me, brother, at your hand I die." For sickness is the witness to his guilt, and death would prove his errors MUST be sins."
HOWEVER...
"Atonement heals with certainty, and cures all sickness." ... "It takes away the guilt that makes the sickness possible. 6 And that is cure indeed." "Peace be to you who have been cured in God"
The message here is CLEAR. The body is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SICK. Sickness of mind OR body is unnatural and unholy. Even death of the body is not supposed to occur. It demonstrates and proves that the person does not want to be awake and would rather be unconscious. Death is utterly unnatural and against God's will at mental and physical levels. All physical sickness is a demonstration of the presence of a false belief and an attempt to DENY HEALTH by denying God.
A Course in Miracles IS attempting to help us to see that YOU NEED NOT SUFFER IN ANY WAY, not even physically, and any presence of ANY kind of sickness CAN AND MUST be healed by miracles.
Seeing yourself as deprived makes you perceive others as taking from you, and that you don't have enough left to give.
For example when I'm having some emotional release/healing, maybe I cried and I'm tired and crabby and feeling vulnerable. Maybe I'm not totally past it all yet and still am feeling whatever the lack is - lack of love, lack of peace, whatever... I'll see myself as being quite 'in need', i.e. needy.
When I see myself this way, I start to perceive everyone else as being needy too. Even if they're not. I'll perceive they're trying to take from me or demand something of me that I can't supply. I'll feel put upon and taxed and offended by the demand I see in them.
And especially if the other person is in a state of need themselves, it'll trigger anger that someone is so insensitively expecting something from me when I apparently don't have anything to give. I see them as trying to 'take take take'.
But what's really happening is I'm seeing myself - the demand in them is ME demanding FROM them. So I'm needy AND demanding, stating that I do not have what I need and someone else needs to give it to me. (Secret side-tip: although I'm saying I am in need and want to GET from others, I secretly do NOT want to get because then I would't be able to see myself as needy).
I'm the one who is actually trying to 'take take take'. I'm trying to GET, in order to make up for the lack that I perceive in myself. I'm accusing other people of trying to take because they're thwarting MY effort to take.
So as I see myself deprived and lacking, it's because I believe I don't have enough love. I believe the love is not in me and that I need to get it from someone else. So if they fail to give it, or if they demand it from ME, then I am left totally empty-handed with no way to resolve my problem, and that produces fear and anger... A sense that 'I can't and I won't... which often is in the form of a lot of reluctance or resistance or, comedically, "I can't take it anymore" (when secretly I am taking big-time).
But the thing is, seeing myself as deprived is actually the CAUSE of my perceiving a sense of lack of love, which led to the feeling of neediness, which led to the drama of being pressured to give what I don't have to needy people.
So an antidote for this... if I'm seeing myself as needy, and realizing it, is simply this:
Give love.
IMMEDIATELY this cancels out and dissolves all trace of a sense of neediness, all trace of not having enough, all trace of anger and reason for fear or resentment.
I'll be honest, I've only remember this a couple of times in real situations. One of them was just now. As soon as I suddenly remembered (after asking Holy Spirit to help) that my neediness is making me try to 'get' because I am seeing myself as deprived, it made me LAUGH. Because it introduces truth at the root of this bullshit and immediately corrected all of the EFFECTS.
I have to learn to remember this more often. When I feel shit and like I am deprived and don't have anything to give and don't want to give..... the way I am feeling is BECAUSE I don't want to give, not the other way around.
I choose to position myself as unloved and in need, which creates feelings of deprivation, which leads to the whole drama. If I choose NOT to see myself unloved by SHARING love (remember giving and receiving are both required, not sacrifice or greed), the whole problem is corrected.
And then, now that I've accepted healing of the actual problem - a lack of love - I can now give love and FULFILL the needs of others, which in fact then disappear, because they were never really needy to begin with. I was just seeing my own neediness projected.
Problem solved.
Over the weekend I came down with what seems to be 'a cold'. Actually it is more likely just a strong 'release', and I find that pretty much every time I have a 'cold' it is accompanied by strong emotional releases.
So anyway.. I was semi-miserable. Suffering a bit.
I wanted to know if any kind of healing was possible, and Holy Spirit hinted that we'd talk about it at night ie before sleeping.
So that time came along and I remembered. And I was also feeling fairly willing to just 'accept' being sick for a while. I thought to myself, well, I made this sickness, so I should actually honor and respect the power that I've wielded and appreciate what I've created. I mean, after all, it's a pretty nice illusion I made, and Jesus does warn in the ACIM text about it being an error to underestimate the power of what we made with the ego. I didn't want to fight with it or attack it. I was trying to be more accepting. I did a little bit of "I love this sickness" and then I asked Holy Spirit:
"Holy Spirit, is there any way at all that there can be a healing of this, or do I have to just accept it for the next 2 weeks of snot and tissues?"
HS: "There is"
So I said, "Ok, I'm willing to admit I don't know anything about healing, I don't know how to heal this, I don't know why I made it or what its purpose is, I don't know why I have it and I don't know what to do about it. Help me to know what I need to 'do' if anything to help you to facilitate healing." And in this, I seemed to be unusually 'open minded' and receptive instead of just going on about what 'I have to do' to fix this. Holy Spirit said:
"Receive God"
I was like, WHAT?! It seemed I was here asking about how to fix this sickness and instead I get an answer that tells me I'm about to be loved?? So I was, like, ok... I let myself just 'receive God' ... like, without doing anything other than receiving and maybe repeating to myself, "receive God".
Immediately I felt a sense of love descend and come into me and it went deeper than a sense of unlove and unworthiness that was in me that I didn't realize was there. And I started to cry because it was beautiful and a relief. And the ego part of me was somewhat in shock because I couldn't figure out WHY God would love me. I had all kinds of ego reactions around it like, why would God love me, I've never been loved, surely I'm not lovable, etc.
Nevertheless, my body started to shake, my hands shook vigorously, I coughed and spewed a bit as I felt something being ejected from me and lifted out. Then I cried a bit more because I could feel how this love was given so FREELY, like, there were absolutely no strings attached, and it wasn't asking that I give anything whatsoever, and was totally unconditional. I couldn't comprehend how or why it was being given so free of any expectations or conditions or requirements, like 'a freebie'. Why would God just give give give? How was it possible that I would be just given to like that?!
Anyway... I felt this healing tremendously helped to lift away a sense of unlove and unworthiness and, in particuarly, a sense that God/Father loved me, which apparently was at the root of my sickness. I felt a lot better. It wasn't all gone, but much improved. I couldn't help but feel grateful, and somewhat in awe, and a bit shocked. I actually felt a slight sense of ... how dare you love me this much without asking for anything in return. It was shockingly unconditional. God loved me MORE than I loved me.
This is then when ego came in and tried in various subtle ways to reproduce or trigger or influence this 'receiving God' thing... like it kept trying to pretend that IT was causing the transmission of love, or IT was able to control it, or IT was going to trigger it off, or IT knew what made the healing flow. And yet it didn't. I noticed all that activity and how it was interfering. And it wasn't until I could stop all of those efforts to "be the healer" that I allowed myself to "receive God" a bit more. Genuinely. To just receive in openness and willingness without trying to force it. Because to receive without 'doing' anything disables the ego from all its activities.
So grateful. And so unexpected.... I had no idea that I was going to receive healing AND be unconditionally loved, like, without having to do or give anything in return, anything other than to just be open and willing to receive. It seemed like such a blessing that really exposed any sense of unworthiness or reasons why I shouldn't.
I asked also then, if it were possible to heal another person this way. Holy Spirit said that the other person has to be "ready to accept willingly". I could understand and accept that. You can't force healing on someone. And I only felt a healing because I was WILLING TO RECEIVE. And it was not anything that *I* did whatsoever. Other people can receive healing from God too, but they have to be willing to accept and allow it. And it has to be pure 100% receiving, not any effort to control or interfere or even to 'give'. I can see how the ego tries to pretend it is seeking healing by trying to force healing or produce it from its own efforts, but real healing is completely counter-ego, requiring the ego to be suspended and uninvolved.
"Receive God". Simple.
I am amazed mostly at how God gives love so freely, so without conditions, so totally and unrestrained. It's like a huge outpouring, a massive giving, almost like a revelation. Everything coming FROM God to you, and your only job is to RECEIVE. Receive receive receive.
It's like sunbathing - God-bathing...you don't go trying to force the sun to shine with your ego, you don't trigger the sun, you don't make it shine on you. You have to surrender and relax and let go and receive the light. The sun does the shining. God does the shining. Difficult to get the ego out of the way and be totally receptive. But it seems like the more I can 'let love in' the more I am allowing myself to be loved, to a depth and extent that I have never experienced or thought possible.
Ahhhhhhh.
Still sniffling today. The 'cold' is still there. But... I know I am healed in some way on some level. A sense of unworthiness has been replaced with worthiness. Thanks God.
One last insight. .. the lesson I needed to learn, in Holy Spirit's words:
"Let God"
If mind becomes split, there are now two causes.
The 2nd cause will seem to will against the first.
The conflict and self-attack will manifest as sickness AS the body.
If mind reclaims the fact that it is fighting its own self, and stops doing so, the split disappears.
When the split disappears, the body MUST stop showing up as sick. All symptoms of attack must disappear.
Sick mind, sick body.
Healthy mind, healthy body.
NEVER is it healthy mind, sick body. EVER.
NEVER is it healthy mind, dead body. EVER.
The only cause of sickness is the belief that you are separate from YOURSELF, are in two minds, and are willing against yourself. Therefore you willing against yourself is SELF ATTACK. And all self attack produces SYMPTOMS OF ATTACK, ie sickness in the body.
Symptoms in the body are not caused at one moment in time and thereafter "linger" with nothing willing them to be there,as though existing on their own, or sustained by time or ego laws. They only appear to linger if the mind is CONTINUOUSLY IN A STATE OF SELF ATTACK.
The same goes for short-term illness and chronic illness. Chronic illness is a long-term belief in being divided against yourself.
There is no belief the mind cannot undo. There is no sense of separation that cannot be reversed. Therefore there is no MANIFESTATION of that belief which cannot be UNDONE COMPLETELY in all its forms and expressions at EVERY LEVEL including the physical.
Physical sickness is you being in two wills willing against yourself as if you have an enemy that is not you, but is you. Stop doing that, be whole, be one mind in love, and THERE CAN BE NO SICKNESS OR DEATH.
"Peace is an attribute in YOU. You cannot find it outside. All mental illness is some form of EXTERNAL searching. Mental health is INNER peace. It enables you to remain unshaken by lack of love from without, and capable, through your own miracles of correcting the external conditions, which proceed from lack of love in others."
The world cannot make you peaceful. The world cannot take your peace away. If you have peace, it is INNER peace. Inner peace means the peace is inside of you regardless of what's outside.
Peace is an attribute of WHAT YOU ARE. It isn't something you have to add-on or feel as an emotion or attain. You have peace in you because God put it there. The peace in you IS HIS. It is a meeting place in you in where you are calmly quiet in the presence of God. It's inherent to your being.
Peace, as part of your being, cannot be given to you by the world, because the world is not the author of you, cause of you, creator of you, or your father. You are not a product or side-effect of the world. The world can't make you be at peace. It doesn't matter how many devices or toys or special relationships or events or special practices or whatever you do, the peace you're trying to find is a part of you, not something someone can give to you.
Peace can be uncovered, or tuned into, but that means tuning into your real self. It means joining with God. Accepting God's GIFT of peace which was infused into you in your creation. To be at peace you merely need to be yourself. The world didn't put it there, nor can it change it. Only you can decide whether to acknowledge your inner peace or deny it, which means you want to cover it up and pretend it's not there.
Your inner peace can't therefore be taken away, upset, disturbed, shocked, changed, or made to stop, by anything that happens in life. The only reason you "lose your peace", or rather lose touch with it, is because you cover it up by going off on tangents of ego. You choose not to be yourself, and that means you deny your natural peace. Only you can hide your peace, and not even you can destroy it because God himself is holding it in place.
You can be in your peace no matter where you are, no matter what you do, who you see, what happens or doesn't happen. You can be in your peace in spite of the world. You can be in your peace in all situations. You can be in peace permanently. What is the world going to do then, when you choose to stay in your peace and it can do nothing to stop you? When, by choosing your peace, the world has no say in whether you are peaceful or not?
You have to learn to separate your peace from the world. To stop believing that certain things in the world could give you peace or make your life more peaceful. And similarly, stop believing that things in the world have POWER to take your peace away. If you feel that something is going to happen that is taking your peace away, you are GIVING it power over you, and pretending that it is causing your peace to go away. But it's you doing this to yourself.
What if you were to go through the exact same events, seeing the same people, doing the same tasks, encountering the same seeming problems, but stayed in the state of experience that YOU want to be in? What if you could maintain peace all the way through it, and not HAVE to suffer or be stressed out or annoyed or angered? What if you can just be "passer by", not ALLOWING others to seem to take power from you or dictate your INNER state?
This is part of what "I need do nothing" is about. That you will remain calm and happy and in touch with the LOVE AND PEACE THAT YOU ARE, regardless of the BUSY things that you are doing in the world. "It is impossible the Son of God be merely driven by events OUTSIDE him."
"It means that nothing outside yourself can save you; nothing outside yourself can give you peace. But it also means that nothing outside yourself can hurt you, or disturb your peace, or upset you in any way. Today's idea places you in charge of the universe, where you belong because of who you are."
"But there will always be this place of rest, to which you can return. And you will be more aware of the quiet center of the storm, than all its raging activity. This quiet center, IN WHICH YOU DO NOTHING, will remain with you, giving you rest in the midst of every busy doing on which you are sent."
"You have given your peace to the gods you made, but they are not there to take it FROM you, and you are NOT able to give it TO them. You are NOT free to give up freedom, but only to DENY it."
"There is a light which this world cannot give. Yet YOU can give it, as it was given YOU."
"I could see peace in this situation instead of what I now see in it."
"Love's arms are open to receive you, and give you peace forever."
"Projection still has this "hurling" connotation, because it involves hurling something you DO NOT want, and regard as dangerous and frightening, to someone else. This is the opposite of the Golden Rule, and having placed this rule upside down, the reverse of miracles, or projection, follows automatically.)"
The golden rule is based on God's law that everything is equally shared by everyone - because we're all one. What applies to me applies to everyone and everything. Either we are all innocent or all guilty. Whatever you do to another you do to yourself, because they are part of you.
But then Jesus goes on to suggest that separation produces a state which is opposite to the golden rule. In this state, it is believed that what applies one does NOT apply to anyone else. That everything is exclusive. What you do to another you do NOT do to yourself.
So if you enter into this belief that you can get away with murder, that you can project blame without being blamed, that you can find someone guilty while you are innocent, or that there can be this imbalance of equality, then you've attempted to reverse the golden rule. You are denying the law of God.
The ego does this because it denies God's laws, so it believes that there is no equality, no sharing, no oneness, and you are not joined with others. It believes that anything that applies to you does not apply to them, and vice versa, due to a separation between you. And therefore, it becomes viable to suggest you can pile all the blame onto someone else in order to escape from it.
This then enters into what Jesus calls projection, which is also dissociation. Here the mind is trying to "project separation" or increase separation, to keep the separation going.
"Projection will ALWAYS hurt you. It reinforces your belief in your own split mind, and its ONLY purpose is to KEEP THE SEPARATION GOING. It is solely a device of the ego to make you feel DIFFERENT from your brothers and separated FROM them. The ego justifies this on the wholly spurious grounds that it makes you seem better than they are, thus obscuring equality WITH them still further."
By separating yourself off, disassociating from your brothers, identifying yourself as "not them", and the reinforcing the intensity of the separation between you, you are "projecting". You then leverage this separateness by trying to make sure everyone else holds the sin and not you. This is golden-rule reversal because what applies to them should also apply to you.
So as the golden rule becomes inverted, we get separation, dissociation, denial, projection, a gap between people, a sense of exclusive identity, blame and scapegoating. Jesus also describes this as having grievances, as being the opposite of miracles. ie if you enter into this golden-rule denying state, you are trying to be unmiraculous and attack instead.
"This is the opposite of the Golden Rule, and having placed this rule upside down, the reverse of miracles, or projection, follows automatically."
"And I would accept the miracles in place of the grievances, which are but illusions that hide the miracles beyond."
Miracles and grievances are opposites. Miracles are founded on the golden rule, and all sense of attack or separation or sin is founded on golden-rule denial. Trying to break the law of God, although really simply denying that it still applies, puts you into a split mind where you think you can attack without being attacked. And yet you are still attacked, because you do it to yourself, and are suffering as a result of being separate.
The law of God can never be broken, but the ego is the denial of the law of God, and being in denial it hasn't changed the law - it has simply pretended it does not apply. And each time you pretend it does not apply, attempting to attack without being attacked, which is a breakdown in cause and effect, you hurt yourself. Your brother is part of you, and to attack him is to attack yourself, even if you believe by mistake that he is not you. You would not attack him if you knew he was part of you because you would have a shared interest.
"Sickness is a defense against the truth." - ACIM
Truth is divine perfect health. Truth is love. Truth is God.
When there is an unforgiving attitude, it produces sickness because it is an attack on yourself.
Sickness isn't a "thing". It doesn't have its own identity. It isn't a real thing. It's just a word for what it seems to look like when you are partly disconnected from or in denial of eternal life.
It is completely reversible because it is nothing more than an illusion. We simply need to return to a forgiving attitude by forgiving and undoing our unforgiving attitude.
Sickness must go. It does not have a power of its own. It is not a cause. It is only an effect, a side-effect of temporarily denying who you are.
It has no staying-power or causality. Sickness does not cause further sickness. Problems in the body do not cause sickness. Problems in the environment does not cause sickness. And sickness does not spread or increase on its own.
Sickness can only be an effect, or symptom. All notions of sickness being a 'thing' in its own right, that someone "has" a specific sickness, as though that sickness is a 'thing' that happens to them distinct from other things, that's not true.
And people don't "get sick" or "become sick". People choose not to be divinely healthy on some level.
Since sickness only seems to appear as an illusion when we are in denial of the truth, and since when we are not in denial of the truth sickness cannot exist, sickness does not really exist.
There is no "real sickness". Nobody is "really sick". They are experiencing illusions of sickness.
Sickness is nothing.
Sickness is not even the issue. It is just a symptoms of what it looks like when we defend against truth, which is a defense against ourselves, which is a self-attack. If we stop doing that, we will stop seeming to exhibit signs of sickness.
Only the truth is true.