It's interesting to realize, that your brother's soul is in a state of permanent perfection. What is true of him is what God established forever. His soul has no sickness, no disease, no upsets, no unhappiness. It is completely perfect and flawless. Your brother is perfect and flawless already, having been created to be permanently so. And therefore he has no real needs.

Upon recognizing this and remembering it about him, which requires you to OVERLOOK and ignore anything else that his body or attitude might be suggesting, you enter into a realization that he does not really NEED healing. His perfection cannot be threatened, because it is real. His soul is unharmed and happy.

"Christ's vision has one law. It does not look upon a body and mistake it for the Son whom God created. It beholds a light beyond the body; an idea beyond what can be touched, a purity undimmed by errors, pitiful mistakes, and fearful thoughts of guilt from dreams of sin. It sees no separation. And it looks on everyone, on every circumstance, all happenings and all events, without the slightest fading of the light it sees."

"To forgive is to OVERLOOK."

"But forgiveness looks past bodies. This is its holiness; this is how it heals."

So if part of healing your brother is to SEE and remember his perfection in God, your willingness to see it and recognize and accept it as true automatically must imply that anything ELSE must be false.

By recognizing the light of truth, it frames everything in its proper perspective. All illusory things are recognized as false, because they contradict the truth of the light and so must be opposite to the truth. It can't be true that he has sickness if his soul is perfect. It can't be true that his body has real damage. It can't be possible that he is unhappy in any way. These MUST all be illusions in light of the FACT, that God's Son is absolutely perfect ALREADY, as established by God's permanent will.

So if I BELIEVE, that any of these appearances are true, real, happening, there to see etc, it must be that I am failing to overlook them and am not looking TO the light of truth. I'm not in the truth, as a result, and so am seeing falsely. And my false seeing is showing me what appears to be real, impassable sickness, a wall of sin made real. I must come to NOT believe those things which suggest my brother is less than perfect, in any way. They simply cannot BE true if he is perfect.

Notice how it says, forgiveness looks past bodies. Notice how it says, it is this law of christ vision which looks past bodies and sees only the light beyond, ie the light and truth of your brother's perfect soul. Notice how it says this is HOW IT HEALS. This, then, surely is a prerequisite for healing your brother of whatever seems to ail him, which clearly seen cannot BE really ailing him. And by recognizing that he is NOT being ailed or attacked or hurt, in truth, this VIEW of him supports his perfection and health. It simultaneously weakens HIS mind's belief that his illusions of sickness are true.

This is how you join. You join with his soul. His Christ self. The light beyond the body. The truth of his permanent perfection. The fact he cannot be anything God did not create, and MUST STILL BE as God created Him. The soul never leaves the sight of God, and it is always in a state of grace. And man's reality is only his soul. To see TO his soul is to recognize him, that he is free of needs, free of sickness, and free of death. Remembering him FOR him. Holding him in the light AS healed. As incapable of NEEDING healing.

This view of your divine brother, as ALREADY HEALED AND PERFECT, is the key TO CAUSING him to "become" healed, to realign with his nature, to cancel and reverse illusions which suggest otherwise, to place no investment in making the body real, and to overlook his errors.

"Let your awareness of your brother not be blocked by your perception of his sins, and of his body."

Look to what He is and must be in truth. Look to what He is in heaven. Look to his permanence and harmelssness and perfection and beauty. Look to his divinity and wholeness. Look to his immortality. That's what's true of him, and all the rest is just part of a dream which isn't real. Hold this vision of him steady and it has HEALING POWER. He IS healed in this view, because it recognizes the truth that HE IS ALREADY HEALED. And this view, this recognition of the fact that God has ALREADY established perfection, has a power in it which bypasses all ego illusions.

Illusions surely must easily be changed, "healed" and corrected in this sight. The asserted power of Christ surely will undo all forms and illusions which do not accurately SYMBOLIZE the health and wholeness of your brother. Surely by seeing the light of truth in him, even behind HIS OWN denial of his own perfection, your light can shine into his mind and heal it, and the body will follow.

As you remember the truth of Him, you extend your light into His mind and enlighten it. You remind him of what is true of himself, thus healing his mind of illusions. This requires your willingness to see the light of his soul, but also simultaneously requires you to acknowledge yours, because the light of your soul is ALSO the light of his. What is true is true of both of you. And so remembering His truth FOR him remembers the truth for yourself. And so you are both healed together.

"Miracles are merely the translation of denial into truth. If to love oneself is to HEAL oneself, those who are sick do NOT love themselves. Therefore, they are asking for the love that would heal them, but which they are DENYING TO THEMSELVES. If they knew the truth about themselves, they could not be sick. The task of the miracle-worker thus becomes to DENY THE DENIAL OF TRUTH The sick must heal THEMSELVES, for the truth is IN them. But, having OBSCURED it, *****the light in ANOTHER mind must shine into theirs*****, because that light IS theirs.

The light in them shines as brightly, REGARDLESS of the density of the fog that obscures it. If you give no power to the fog to obscure the light, it HAS none, for it has power ONLY because the Son of God gave power TO it. He must HIMSELF withdraw that power, remembering that all power is of God. YOU CAN REMEMBER THIS FOR ALL THE SONSHIP. Do not allow your brother not to remember, for his forgetfulness is YOURS. But YOUR remembering is HIS, for God cannot be remembered alone. THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN. *****To perceive the healing of your brother as the healing of yourself, is thus the way to remember God.***** For you forgot your brothers WITH Him, and God's answer to your forgetting is but the way to remember.

Perceive in sickness but another call for love, *****and offer your brother what he believes he cannot offer himself.***** Whatever the sickness, there is but one remedy. You will be made whole as you MAKE whole, for to perceive in sickness the appeal for health, is to recognize in hatred the call for love. And to *****give a brother what he REALLY wants*****, is to offer it unto yourself. For your Father wills you to know your brother AS yourself. Answer HIS call for love, and YOURS is answered. Healing is the love of Christ for His Father, and for HIMSELF. "

I want to tell you about a way in which I used my persona to destroy myself, and how I am learning to overcome it. This was actually a very very painful long-term lesson, so it is hard to write about.

I grew up as a highly sensitive person, who experienced everything in an intense, overwhelming, overpowering way. In order to try to cope with this, I developed the use of my persona. The persona is the side of the ego split-mind that focuses on specialness, goodness, success, social acceptability, favoritism, pleasantness, etc. So I went very strongly into 'people pleasing'.

What I'd do, quite automatically/unconsciously, was I'd put on this facade, literally a 'false face', where I'd smile a lot, become very quiet, try to appear pleasant, try not to upset anyone, look unthreatening and harmless, as though 'showing this' to people would deflect them and therefore protect me. It was my attempt to be invisible. This included a really intense repression of myself. Basically I was using this to hide my Self.

In any public situation I would put on this persona mask and make it appear that nothing was wrong, that everything was good and normal, nothing to see here, being nice to everyone and don't say a single word, and not get hurt. But there were many times this blew up in my face.

Once I was on a bus heading into town and it stopped at the hospital. A man got on the bus and sat nearby. He said that he had just gotten out of the hospital from his 3rd heart attack. This alone was enough to trigger me to hide myself even more than I already was. So I smiled a lot. He, having just gone through life-changing events, started up a conversation with me, which was horrifying. He saw I was smiling and thought that it meant I was happy, and therefore wanted to know what my 'secret to a happy life' was. This put tremendous extra pressure on me (as I saw it) and I just wanted to get the hell out of there. To do this, I intensified even more this persona of hiding myself, which was an attempt to reject him, smiling even more, being very tight-lipped, and just wanting the ordeal to end. I just became more and more quiet. For some reason I seemed to just do this as an automatic defense that I'd learned.

Once I got off the bus, I was just about ready to hurl. I put so much effort into psychologically rejecting the man, and hiding myself, that I felt literally sick. I reached/retched uncontrollably for several minutes before I could calm down. This put a huge damper on my day and was somewhat traumatic. But this wasn't the only effect of this.

See, when I used my persona to hide my real Self, this wouldn't just mean rejecting the other person, it would mean rejecting me. The more I tried to shut them out, the more I shut myself out. I had no idea I was doing this. But what I did know was how it felt. Absolutely horrible. I would come away from bad experiences like this, which occurred many many times in all kinds of public scenarios, with a feeling of tremendous tension in my head from intense embarrassment/shame/humiliation. I'd get a horrible headache, but even worse, I would feel deeply, deeply, deeply hurt. This hurt was more intense and horrible than ANY other emotion I have ever felt for any reason. Psychologically it was like I had experienced every single form of rejection, abandonment, hurt and pain all at once. The absolute only way to move past this was to have a huge cry.

So, as a result of putting on a persona and pretending to be someone I was not, regardless of whether that fake self seemed to be 'nice' or 'kind' or anything anyone values, the only way I could appear to be literally 'someone else' was to horrendously suppress, deny, reject and abandon myself. I thought I was using separation 'against' other people to separate myself from them in order to protect myself, but this separation did nothing but hurt me.

I also had a huge fear of other people judging me, and a fear of rejection. What I didn't realize was that each time that I tried to put on a persona mask of nice, likable, happy-smiley, quiet or whatever, I was buying into an ego thought system. And by doing that, I was taking a gamble. Either I would 'get' the result I wanted which was that people would be deflected and ignore me and I would pass by 'safely', OR other people would attack me or pressure me in some way and I'd end up suffering. By believing in the potential of being seen to be accepted or liked or pleasing to others, I was also simultaneously believing in the 'potential' that others would judge me. I wanted them to judge me favorably, which would feed my 'goodie goodie' persona, which meant I had to believe in judgement. And because I believed in judgement, I lived in fear of it.

So I thought I had an issue of being afraid of judgement from others. A fear of rejection. And this fear of rejection cycled around in a vicious cycle, compelling me to want to NOT be rejected, and therefore to put on a smiley persona face in order to get other people to not reject or hurt me. But of course that merely put me closer in touch with rejection and judgement, if not by others then much moreso by myself. The amount of rejection I experienced from myself TO myself as a result of self-suppression, was far worse than anything anyone else did. So this strategy really didn't actually work, even though I kept trying to use it, and each time it got worse. Over time I just became more and more uptight and quiet and withdrawn from society, eventually jobless and depressed and deeply unhappy and unable to see a way to be different.

Over time, through various avenues of healing, not least of which was the support by my wife who showed up right when I was at my worst, I gradually have learned about the dynamics of what I do to myself versus what I thought other people were going to do to me. I learned painfully and slowly to see that I only saw other people as 'attacking judging strangers' because *I* had already attacked them first. Through the years of working with A Course in Miracles and various other things I've come to very gradually realize exactly why my use of the persona is completely self-defeating and does not help at all. All the persona does is section off everything I think is wrong with me into a tidy little box and shove it away into the dark recesses of my mind, later to surface as pain and suffering.

Yet, over time I've still held onto a belief that I am mainly afraid of rejection or judgement, rather than realizing that my attempt to use the persona is what actually causes the problem. Every time I try to do what other people would want, or make myself like able, or appease others, or focus on what other people like or would buy, or whether I'd get approval, or showing only the parts of myself that I think are acceptable to others, this AUTOMATICALLY creates a fear of rejection and judgement. Because really, by using the persona (i.e. wanting to feed it by creating a self-image/persona of being pleasing) I am actually already rejecting myself and judging myself. Why would I want to put a facade on myself to cover up my True Self? Why would I want to soften the blow of someone else's attitude by abandoning myself first, so that I then need a defense?

The truth that is starting to reveal itself to me now, is that if I actually just be true to myself, and completely drop all need to use the persona to be 'likable' or 'acceptable to others' or 'what they want' etc, I actually stay in a STRENGTH and a authenticity that empowers me and completely overrides the apparent need, either for a fake persona self, or for a defense against rejection. And so this reveals what really is underneath all this.

If I reject myself FIRST, I will then believe I have to use a false self-image-persona to show other people a version of me that they will like, so that they won't point out how shitty I am. Once i'm in persona mode, I cannot escape the fear of rejection because I've already rejected myself and more will be forthcoming through the projection of it.

So the task in front of me now is, to learn to accept myself fully, to be true to the truth in me, to open up to reveal and expose who I really am, to 'let loose' without any shame or censorship, to stop trying to hide myself for any reason, and to basically 'be myself'. But it also HAS to mean, a willingness to stop putting on a show, to stop presenting myself in a fake way, to stop trying to 'appear' likable, to stop people-pleasing, to stop trying to feed my persona image, to stop trying to get everyone to approve of me, and to just drop that whole pile of horseshit. I only enter into a perception that I need 'protection' when I have already judged myself and have seen myself as vulnerable. I am not vulnerable if I am truth-filled. And I don't need to please anyone.

So the key to FREEDOM in all this, is awakening into Holy Spirit's view of me, in acceptance of the truth of me, and in completely surrendering BOTH the fear of rejection AND the attempt to 'win approval' through the persona. By stopping using a persona this solves every problem that ever arose out of its use. What I thought was helping me was hurting me deeply. And stopping the use of the persona stops the creation of the shadow (pain) as well.

Standing firmly in who I AM, brings all of the certainty, strength, assertiveness, disregard for other's opinions, invulnerability, and empowerment, that seemed to be MISSING when I chose to use the ego. And which could never be fulfilled by using the ego. Because once again, it's a case of seek and do not find. "I don't have to worry about what to say or what to do knowing He goes there with me" - ACIM, i.e. I am in my true self and my true self is completely uninterested in pretense or rejection.

Who knew - trying to please people makes you rejected!!!

Learning to love myself more. Learning to drop the ego more. Learning to be what I am, instead of trying to be something I'm not. And in that, there is no fear.

Consider the idea of a script for your life which you fully planned, consented to, and passionately wanted, before you came into this lifetime. Imagine that you organized and orchestrated every single interaction. You created agreements with every single person you would ever meet and you asked them to do to you every single thing they were to do, with which they would comply. Imagine also that only what you planned would happen and nothing else would happen - except you would also forget that you planned it.

ACIM does speak to this, in that it says that nothing happens to you that you have not asked for, and that you get *everything* you ask for, and that you get *nothing* that you did not ask for. It also speaks to this when it says that nobody dies without his own consent. NOBODY DIES WITHOUT THEIR OWN CONSENT.

At some point, somewhere, whether it's in this life or before this life, but somewhere, for ACIM to be TRUE on this matter, you ****MUST**** have consented to every single thing that has ever happened in your life. ABSOLUTELY ALL OF IT. Not only consented to it but created it, asked for it, wanted it, designed it and even set it in motion YOURSELF. Not by any outside force or coercion or ANY amount of victimhood whatsoever. (this is somewhat described in the "song of prayer" pamphlet as well)

Remember the Course also says the key to salvation is this - that you are but doing this to yourself.

IF the Course is telling the truth (and it is), then everything that has ever happened in 'your life' has been exactly designed by and asked for by you. All of it. So this takes quite a lot of 'fessing up', which also means your life must become totally void of victimhood.

If you look now, and you look back at some things that you recognize as having 'happened' in your life, particularly events which involved people where they seemed to influence you in ANY way, and in particular in what *looked like* any kind of negative way, then you need to now reinterpret that. If you can allow yourself to ACCEPT that you planned and asked for every single detail of what occurred, then a few insights must arise:

1) You have to realize there was a REASON WHY you planned what you did, and that reason was FOR YOUR GOOD. Every single thing that you designed must have been for an intended purpose of, ultimately, leading you to a spiritual awakening. Every single 'lesson' or scenario that you put together, MUST have been intended to HELP YOU in some way.

2) With the information that all events are helpful, this must then shed a new light on all of these tragic past experiences, to show you that SOMEHOW, whatever happened, and no matter how it looked at the time, somehow that event and that person were ONLY doing what was in your script and they performed it perfectly. Therefore they weren't REALLY a victimizer. And you weren't REALLY a victim. At the time, yes, you believed you were, but here's the thing. You only believe you are a victim when you are UNAWARE that you are a script-writer.

3) This now gives rise to the insight that every way you've experienced being a victim in the past, was a result of a lack of awareness on your part, in which you experienced something designed to HELP YOU but interpreted it initially as HURTING YOU. This symbolically is the same thing as being loved by God but believing that you're actually being attacked by God. Ie it seemed against you rather than for you. So all of the ways that you STILL hold onto past events with a grievance, thinking of them as 'wrong' or 'unwanted' or 'bad' or 'unpleasant' or whatever, blaming the other person, all of that INTERPRETATION of events came about ONLY because you did not remember that you wrote the script. It looked like you didn't ask for what happened, which, IF it were true, WOULD justify your anger and hurt and offense. And that means, you need to to be more truly forgiving, ultimately accepting the atonement.

4) This now helps you to see that, ultimately, everyone involved is INNOCENT, because nobody has done anything outside of the contract and nobody ELSE is responsible for having done anything TO YOU against your will. Your will is embedded in your script which YOU WROTE, so even if you now find yourself unaware of this and experiencing victimhood, YOU DID STILL WRITE IT. So you can hardly blame the other person. So now you need to go look at all the unhealed grievances that you still haven't let go of, and which you still interpret in a victim consciousness that says "I didn't want this to happen", "this wasn't fair", "they did it to me against my will" etc.... you HAVE to reinterpret that.

5) This now leads us to TAKING RESPONSIBILITY. This might seem like a step which places a shitload of guilt on your shoulders, blaming yourself for what happened, bla bla bla. That's ego. What it really means is actually a doorway to FREEDOM and RELIEF. You see, if you scripted all this, and you asked xyz person to do what they did, and you can admit that and own that fact, then you can let them off the hook. You can realize they did not victimize you. YOU victimized you. You hired them to carry out your wishes. If you are responsible for writing your script (and maybe you had help on the other side to do this gently/realistically etc), then you can no longer blame anyone else for what happens, in the past or in the future. It also means you can no longer view experiences as unwanted, bad, against you, unhelpful, hurtful, something to resist, as an attack, or any other form of victimization. That means, yes, whatever they did, whatever happened, you wanted it and got what you wanted, FOR A REASON, to HELP YOU to wake up.

6) Having now admitted to this responsibility, and started to access the sense of RELIEF and freedom that this gives you... because dropping the whole victim drama is a RELIEF from suffering, you can now enter into GRATITUDE. You cannot be grateful to an attacker while you think you didn't ask them to attack you. But you can be grateful to them when you realize you DID ask them to AND you can turn your mind to look at the situation as helpful/for you. It's like looking for the silver linings. What's happening is NOT a terrible tragedy or a horrible event gone wrong. That's illusion. What's happening is trying to help you to be steered in the right direction or to keep you safe or to help you learn who you are or to guide you to remembering whats true or to learn to love and care etc.. whatever the purposes are in your plan for spiritual "growth."

7) Finally then you have to learn to change the 'direction' or angle from which you look at events. If you're responsible and everything is for your good, then you need to learn to 'take it' that way. Look for the helpfulness. Look for how it is 'positive'. Look for the silver lining, the learning, the opportunity its giving you. Look at how it is making you grow or what you're learning from it. Ultimately then there is only one LESSON, in the form of all lessons. And it's this. You need to overcome the NEED for the lesson by recognizing the truth, owning up to the responsibility of who you really are (owning your innocence), entering into the mindset of the Holy Spirit which shows you that you are never a victim, and reclaiming your FREEDOM from the dramas of the ego. Ultimately this translates to you OVERLOOKING (forgiveness) all of the ways that you get LOST in the 'game' that you set up, so that you literally are no longer CAPABLE of playing the game. Once the truth is revealed, you can never forget it. And so you no longer need to create these dramas ever again.

Remember, nothing happens to you against your will. There are no accidents. Nothing happens that wasn't planned at some point in time BY YOU. Nothing is being forced upon you against your will.

You might find yourself 'inside a lesson' in this lifetime and feeling stuck in it, victmized by it, limited by it. But you might not also remember the benefits of this situation. Maybe it has indirect effects on the spiritual growth of other people. Maybe by suffering a sickness you HELP other people to learn compassion. Maybe by being afraid you give others an opportunity to learn to nurture. We're all this big soup of roleplay and side-effects and responses.

Also let's just finish by saying you're not stuck with a lesson. Holy Spirit WANTS you to learn the lesson. The answer to it is not being hidden from you. Often Holy Spirit tells me, in the midst of some frustration and confusion, "its a lesson". So them I'm like.. hmm... what is this lesson, what am I meant to learn? And it's not like Holy Spirit is withholding the answer, but I need to experientially becoming willing to accept some measure of truth in order to complete the need for the situation. The lesson may not be obvious.

In fact a recent lesson for me was to learn to DROP the idea of miraculously healing a problem with my eye, so that i would let go of false ideas about control and spiritualization of my ego, even though this outcome seemed at the time to be totally the opposite of what I thought I needed to do. Holy Spirit eventually revealed, when I was at the readiness to admit to it, that the whole point was to help me to 'see' the truth - that I was trying to do/be something beyond what is asked of me.

Also I can't begin to tell you how much I have learned compassion and a heart-opening as a result of various challenges that a person close to me has been through. For which I'm grateful, even though it sounds 'sick' to say you're grateful for sickness.

Holy Spirit said to me, "there is a plan". I'm learning to trust that more. And thus learning to take responsibility for my part in that plan, and thus relinquishing all of the support for victim mentality and blame. Even now as I start to look back at past events in 'this new light' I can see that I need to become grateful to people that I thought were against me or who I thought did the wrong thing. They were only helping and they only DID help. I just didn't recognize it.

Ultimately you want to get to where you have no more need for writing scripts, having learned everything they offer. Then you are free from the cycle of reincarnation forever.

Salvation is EXTREMELY simple.

"You cannot be hurt unless you hurt yourself."

In this one sentence is the whole course. Just stop hurting yourself!

Let's try to make this extremely clear.

You are an immortal being which cannot be affected by anything. Nothing real can be threatened. You cannot be hurt or attacked or damaged. Nothing can happen against your will. You are absolutely invulnerable.

No-one else can do anything to you. No-one else can cause you to feel anything, experience anything, think anything, have a reaction, or make you do anything at all. There is no power, force, causality, mind, will, agent, or any kind of manipulative source in the world capable of making ANYTHING happen to you. Nothing can change you in any way, to any degree. You are absolutely permanent.

SO...... the ONLY THING that seems to be able to happen, is that *YOU*, and only you, can decide to begin to hurt yourself. All attack is self attack. And this attack MUST be an illusion that YOU made up, because you CANNOT BE HURT in reality.

YOU, can decide, to accuse yourself of sin, to have an attack thought, to deny your reality, to suppress your love, or whatever form it takes. But let's be 100% clear. It is COMING FROM YOU. You are the one choosing it and are always doing it to yourself. No-one else is to blame. No-one else is involved. No-one else has caused ANY of it, not even a tiny bit.

If you would just stop attacking yourself you would stop suffering forever.

If you would just stop denying what you are you'd be yourself.

If you would just stop hurting yourself, or believing that you have, or that you even can, you would never have to suffer ever again.

So what can't we get this? It's so incredibly simple. There's only you hurting yourself. So if you are upset, you are doing that to yourself. If you are unhappy, you are choosing that. If you are suffering and sick, you are making it happen. If you are dead, you consented to it and chose it and wanted it.

The PROBLEM IS.... we are UNCLEAR, CONFUSED, about WHO is responsible for making life miserable. WHO IS THE CAUSE. Who has the power. Where is the cause. Who is the one to blame. We are CONFUSED about this. And we are mistaken about it very often - if not most of the time or even all the time.

This confusion, alone, is the reason why we think that there is something more complicated about being at peace, or saved, or happy, or healthy. In any scenario, wherever we are or with whom or whatever it involves or what form it takes, IT DOES NOT MATTER. If we think THEY are doing it, THAT is causing it, THIS is doing it to me, THAT's the reason I'm upset, etc... we're wrong. Very mistaken. We are never upset for the reason we think. And it is NEVER EVER EVER because of anyone other than ourselves.

This is so extremely true, that you can practically accept that if you are anything less than totally joyous and peaceful and healthy, it has NOTHING to do with this entire universe. Nothing to do with other people, or places, or events, or happenings, or body states, or reactions. It's not coming from anywhere else other than YOUR SELF.

Your brother is not the cause of you. God is the only cause of you. All people on the planet and beyond are NOT the cause of ANYTHING you experience. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Not one single attack, hurt, damage, upset, accusation, nothing. None of what you experience has anything to do with anyone but yourself.

You are invulnerable. Either you accept this invulnerability OR you pretend that you are vulnerable. You pretend by disowning your invulnerability, which requires you to DISPLACE it onto something else. You have to GIVE IT TO someone. You give away your power. You give away causality. You give away responsibility. You give away strength. You give away your self. And you put it into the hands of a seemingly SEPARATE something, anything, so long as you think it's not yourself. This is the ENTIRE problem that CLOUDS your judgements and confuses you into believing YOU AREN'T THE CAUSE.

We probably spend 90%+ of our time in this state of delusion. Perceptual distortions derived from false beliefs, attempting to assert "I'm being caused by something not myself." "There's an alien will". "That person made me" "I'm upset about". etc. This is always not true. Sifting through the massive stockpile of LIES that this produces, is 99% of the effort entailed in purification and correction, trying to get to a state of forgiveness. Trying to dig yourself out, to dig real causality out, from underneath this huge pile of confusing rubble.

This is what it always comes back to. What am *I* doing. Why am *I* doing this. Why did *I* choose this. If I am upset, why am I choosing to be upset? If I am unhappy, why did I make myself unhappy? Why am I choosing to have attack thoughts? Why am I believing I'm sinful and then disowning it and projecting it onto someone else?

"You but accuse your brother of your own sin" tells you that your brother HAS NOT SINNED EVER. It's you that thinks YOU have sinned, and now you're lost in scapegoating someone for something you think you did, and subsequently positioning yourself as their victim SO THAT you can maintain the DENIAL that this is ABOUT YOU, BY YOU, and has nothing to do with them at all.

If we could just become clear on this. If we could just sort out, who is really doing what to whom. Who is causing all this. Where is it coming from really. Am I responsible. In every case, you are. 100% full responsibility for everything you experience. Which means 0% of what you experience is "because of" this entire universe or anything in it.

We have to peel ourselves away from this immersion, entanglement, confusion, binding, with other people, in which we lose sight of who is really doing this to us. We have to realize, any time I am upset and thinking it's because of ANYTHING to do with another person, I MUST be mistaken in believing this, because I've now lost sight of salvation's fact - that right now *I'm* doing something TO MYSELF, and what *I* am doing is the SOLE CAUSE of what I am experiencing. If I do not like what I am experiencing, I must choose again. And whatever I choose must be my experience.

"At least I can decide I do not LIKE what I feel now."

"And so I HOPE I have been wrong."

"I WANT another way to look at this."

"Perhaps there IS another way to look at this. What can I LOSE by asking?"

Get a clear picture here.

1. I am not affected by anything beyond myself.

2. No external causes EVER cause me.

3. I cannot be hurt or upset by anyone or because of anyone's situation.

4. Whatever I am experiencing, I WANTED to and CHOSE to.

5. I am free of ALL causes of sickness and death. The ONLY cause of sickness and death is my choice to be sick and dead.

6. No-one has EVER done anything to me. I have NEVER done anything to anyone.

7. I am not at the effect of ANYTHING in the world.

8. If I think anything but myself caused WHATEVER, I'm mistaken.

9. If it's all about my own FREE WILL CHOICE, which not even God can oppose, no one can stop me from choosing whatever I want to experience.

10. Heaven is a choice I must make, and when I choose it, nothing in all the world can stop me.

This would seem to be EXTREMELY SELFISH. To the ego. To emphasize that YOU AND ONLY YOU has ever had any effect on you, and all those effects were imaginary. And that by focusing on the love of yourself, and accepting atonement for yourself, you become the most UNSELFISH towards others. And then will proceed to treat them as you treat yourself, with miraculous expressions of love.

"There is nothing my holiness cannot do."

"NOTHING can prevail against a Son of God who commends his Spirit into the hands of His Father. By doing this, the mind awakens from its sleep, and the Soul remembers its Creator. All sense of Separation disappears, and level confusion vanishes."

"My self is ruler of the universe - It is impossible that anything should come to me unbidden by myself. Even in this world, it is I who rule my destiny. What happens is what I desire. What does not occur is what I do not want to happen. This must I accept."

"Nothing except your thoughts can attack you. Nothing except your thoughts can make you think you are vulnerable. And nothing except your thoughts can prove to you this is not so."

"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No-one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are. As you perceive the harmlessness in them, they will accept your holy will as theirs. And what was seen as fearful now becomes a source of innocence and holiness."

"The secret of salvation is but this: That YOU are doing this UNTO YOURSELF. No matter what the form of the attack, this STILL is true. Whoever takes the role of enemy and of attacker, STILL is this the truth. Whatever seems to be the cause of any pain and suffering you feel, this is STILL true. For you would not react at all to figures in a dream you knew that YOU were dreaming. Let them be as hateful and as vicious as they may, they COULD have no effect on you, unless you failed to recognize it is YOUR dream. This single lesson learned will set you free from suffering, WHATEVER form it takes.

The Holy Spirit will repeat this ONE inclusive lesson of deliverance, until it has been learned, REGARDLESS of the form of suffering that brings you pain. Whatever hurt you bring to Him, He will make answer with this very simple truth. For this one answer TAKES AWAY the cause of every form of sorrow and of pain. The form affects His answer not at all, for He would teach you but the SINGLE cause of all of them, no matter WHAT their form. And you will understand that miracles reflect the simple statement, "I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo." "

"To forgive is to OVERLOOK"

"Everything the body sees is an illusion."

Years ago when I began the course, I thought I understood forgiveness. I thought it basically meant not blaming people, and trying to learn that everyone is innocent. It's kind of that. But over time and with deeper study my grasp of forgiveness kept expanding.

I realized at some point forgiveness is a state, a high state of mind, in concert with true perception, and that our efforts "to forgive" move us in the direction of that state. At some point we would achieve a truly forgiving state of mind as an end result or goal. And this state recognizes there is no real sin.

And so then "doing forgiveness" to me was more to do with purification, healing, release, not judging, taking responsibility, embracing the secret of salvation etc. I made effort to forgive myself and others through various means and to move out of fear into guilt, out of guilt into sin, and out of sin into innocence. But this still wasn't the whole story.

It gradually became clearer that the entire world needs to be overlooked. Particularly because the world itself is an illusion, it wasn't enough to undo my mistaken ideas and beliefs about it, somehow I had to learn to "see past" the world to a light or reality beyond it. And this is significantly challenging. The world hangs like a veil before the face of Christ, a granite block of sin, designed to tempt you to believe everything you see.

It became clearer that the entire physical universe, all forms of matter, all bodies and planets and objects, are there as temptations, appearances and deceptions. That seeing something seem to happen in the flesh was in fact untrue and unreal. That people are not bodies, but something beyond their physical form that I'm meant to see. And so my efforts shifted toward trying not to be deceived by the world in general.

This is where things seem to become quite difficult. When you consider that we've lived in a physical body for many years, assuming the world is real, reacting to everything the body senses as if it's happening as proof, there is a lot of conditioning to undo. And it starts to go into a territory where you have to literally question fundamental reality, whether events are even really happening, whether sick bodies even exist, whether all of the hierarchy of illusions really testifies to bad things happening or if it's just some awful dream. And that means questioning even what your body senses say is happening.

For me lately the challenge has been intensified because I've been presented with some very difficult "physical" scenarios with my wife that present powerful temptations. Temptations to believe that awful things are happening, that there is physical loss, that body parts are malfunctioning, that there is seriousness and heaviness and fear-inducing problems. I've been extremely pushed and impressed upon by the apparent reality of these horrors.

Just the mere act of seeing something physically "wrong" and believing it is truthful, real, happening, or a danger, is enough to incite fear and reactions. When the world is dangling "proof" that sin is happening, attack is happening, that bodies seem to be real, in front of your face, proving that sin is real, what do you do? Because this is where we really get into some major need for forgiveness.

It has become more and more apparent that everything physical is an illusion. All body states are fictional. The ego uses forms to hold the idea of death in front of our noses, asking us to believe that it's really happening. It asks us to regard people as bodies as though, when parts of the body are threatened or lost, the person is threatened or lost. And if you buy it, you will be very upset. And this is why the world is so unhappy.

Presented with a torrent of nightmarish happenings, my challenge has been to try to learn to disbelieve them. To not buy the appearance. To trust a bigger plan. To see beyond the short-term nonsense. To not believe it means something. To not go into fear as a reaction to my own belief that something is very wrong. From what I've been shown through these trials and lessons, not only that our immortal reality the only truth, but also everything bodies testify to is an illusion.

My wife had to have an amputation of her left foot. At first this was horrifying. Just the idea of it made me guilty and afraid. I feared the "loss of her" because if her foot was gone, part of her was really gone. That's what the ego teaches through form. Physical loss means something real has been destroyed, which automatically leads to loss and grief. And so I entered into loss and grief and had to struggle to get out of it. It was induced by the belief that what the body was showing was true of her. That a) she was a body, a b) she was attacked and really suffering and c) it was an irreversible sin.

This is where forgiveness really meets the road. I've had to learn to try to see past and disbelieve all physical events, happenings, states, conditions, people's expert opinions about how serious it is, the physical testimony that "it really is happening", all proof, and all suggestion by the ego world that something is terribly wrong. It is not easy. The level of temptation has been so high and so frequent that I've been thrown far off-center and struggling to get back a sense of truth.

But I do realize through all of this that the opportunity has presented me with a "test", a way to find out if I will be willing to not buy into this problem and laugh it off with love, perhaps to even become miraculous and healing through that love, or whether I will sink into fear and forgetfulness. To say that the road has been extremely bumpy is an understatement. And so the challenge to forgive is to NOT BELIEVE that any of this is even happening at all. To disregard it as illusions and as lies.

Somehow through the clearing smoke, it seems I disbelieve the physical with more certainty now. And as I see other people's sick bodies, somehow I now see them with the same attitude that I see my wife's body with. Her example has changed my perception. Whatever the education has been, it now applies to a transformation in my vision. I can't by any means claim this is total or even halfway to where it needs to be, but it's clear that forgiveness has evolved way past what I thought it was, and now onto a more living experience of not being deceived by form. Even the suggestion of physical death now seems like a ridiculous lie.

It's no small undertaking. We literally are being asked to not believe ANYTHING in this world. That all forms, appearances, bodies, objects, are mere illusory appearances designed to tempt us, causing us to have to learn NOT to be deceived by them. It's very difficult to not buy illusions when someone close to you is seriously ill with visible and "serious" physical symptoms. But this is what we have to do. The body is a denial of the truth. We have to deny the denial of the truth. We have to learn not to buy a single thing the world says is happening, and look beyond the world to the light. We are safe in God, merely dreaming of exile.

In this view, our task is to overlook the world, which transforms it into the forgiven world. And a forgiven world cannot last. "A forgiven world cannot last. It was the home of bodies but forgiveness looks past bodies." We look beyond the forgiven world, beyond the real world, to the Kingdom of God. We regard the Kingdom as the only reality. We are vigilant only for its truth and immortality. We are not deceived by lies of mortal death or suffering. Nothing that the body senses can distract us from an unwavering fixation on God's truth. We are under no laws buy God's, and only the truth is true and this world is not true.

This is what we are asked to do. This is how we forgive. We overlook the false world we made and see it not. We ask to see only the reality of the Kingdom. Nothing else is real. Nothing else has value. Nothing else attracts us. Nothing else satisfies. Only in the forgetting of the world and the complete overlooking of its transparent veil of lies can we look upon the face of Christ and finally move beyond to our True Home.

"A Son of God is happy only when he knows he is WITH God. That is the only environment in which he will not experience strain, because that is where he belongs. It is also the only environment that is worthy of him, because his own worth is beyond ANYTHING that he can make.

Consider the Kingdom which you have made (Earth), and judge its worth fairly. Is it worthy to be a home for a Child of God? Does it protect his peace, and shine love upon him? Does it keep his heart untouched by fear, and allow him to give always without any sense of loss? Does it teach him that this giving is his joy, and that God Himself thanks him for his giving?

That is the only environment in which you can be happy. You cannot make it, anymore than you can make yourselves. But it has been created for you (Heaven), as you were created for it. God watches over His children and denies them nothing."

"Christ's vision has one law. It does not look upon a body, and mistake it for the Son whom God created. It beholds a light beyond the body; an idea beyond what can be touched, a purity undimmed by errors, pitiful mistakes, and fearful thoughts of guilt from dreams of sin. It sees no separation. And it looks on everyone, on every circumstance, all happenings and all events, without the slightest fading of the light it sees."

"A world forgiven cannot last. It was the home of bodies. But forgiveness looks past bodies. This is its holiness; this is how it heals. The world of bodies is the world of sin, for only if there were a body is sin possible. From sin comes guilt as surely as forgiveness takes all guilt away. And once all guilt is gone what more remains to keep a separated world in place? For place has gone as well, along with time. Only the body makes the world seem real, for being separate it could not remain where separation is impossible. Forgiveness proves it is impossible because it sees it not. And what you then will overlook will not be understandable to you, just as its presence once had been your certainty.

This is the shift that true perception brings: What was projected out is seen within, and there forgiveness lets it disappear."

I had a stream of realizations and insights and healing this morning, into how I used someone else abusing me as a way to deny God's love. It has to do with the "key to salvation" - which is that I "did this to myself". I'm skipping way ahead to the conclusion so I'll explain how I got there.

Years ago I was abused by someone close to me on more than one occasion and it hurt a lot. Emotionally I felt hurt, rejected, abandoned, unloved. I was angry at them and could not forgive them, nor did I want to. I thought it was all about them and what they did to me.

The past week or so I've been having intensified emotional releases (cries) really tapping into the core of these feelings. I wasn't in any way ready to forgive this. Sometimes you just have to feel the feelings fully first because the intense 'energy' really pulls your awareness away from any kind of clarity or willingness. And especially resisting releasing hurt feelings blocks any kind of desire to have insights. So I felt.

This then gave way to some readiness to take a closer looks so I invited Holy Spirit to help me to look at it. I looked at what the person did and how that made me feel. I saw that it made me feel unloved and unworthy, just feeling bad about myself like I wasn't good enough to be loved. Guilty. Sinful. But I knew that somehow I must've had a hand in these beliefs - that I must've gone along with them somehow. I was willing to admit that I believed and agreed to these views of myself. Since the other person was withholding love, it must've meant to me that they didn't believe I was loveable so I went along with that and saw myself that way.

But what I then saw was that this belief in unworthiness/unloveability wasn't just some kind of description of myself, but that it had BECOME myself. I believed it was WHAT I was - as though I was somehow made from unlove. I still at this point couldn't see how the other person being abusive could in any way be helpful to me spiritually, but I was willing to let Holy Spirit continue to guide me toward that awareness.

As I saw myself agreeing to the suggestion that I was unworthy - the 'proof' that I was unworthy - I began to realize this couldn't be true because, at least in theory, I am worthy of God's love. So I started to then go over some of the things I believed, but in a context of it being not true. So for example, it's not true that I don't deserve love, it's not true that I am made from unworthiness, it's not true that I am abandoned or rejected, it's not true that I don't deserve to be happy. A few things came out of this including the belief that I didn't deserve happiness, didn't deserve to express myself, wasn't allowed to be myself, should be afraid of expressing myself or being free in case it happens again, being afraid of punishment, etc. So I added these to the list of what is not true.

It was then that it started to dawn on me. I knew that in theory God wasn't the one who rejected me, and that it was me who had been denying God. Suddenly it was clear - this supposed belief in unworthiness, and the supposed scenario of it being put in place by someone else's abuse, was in fact a COVER UP. I actually wanted to believe I was unworthy. I wanted to believe I was not loveable. I somehow did not WANT God to love me. I saw that I'd chosen to believe I was not 'made of' loveable material so that I could demonstrate that what I was wasn't loveable by God. I was trying to prove that God couldn't love 'this' by portraying myself AS unworthiness, AS unloveable-ness.

And with this it became clear also, that I HIRED and USED the abusive person to not just do stuff 'to me' but to do it to me FOR ME - on my behalf. At some point I organized events so that this person would come along and be abusive because I wanted to have a way to JUSTIFY and explain and rationalize WHY I am not loveable. I hired them to act the part and play the role. And I had been blaming THEM for being the perpetrator when, all along, it was me that had ASKED them to do this. This was the key to unlocking the illusion that I'd been *unfairly* treated, victimized, or attacked against my will. Clearly if I wanted this person to be an attacker and to reject and hurt me, it would ALLOW me to position myself as not worth the love of God - so that I could fulfill my hidden agenda of denying God's will and being separate. Jeez.

So now it was possible to simply acknowledge/recognize the innocence of that person - to overlook seeing them as sinful or guilty (forgiveness) - that they had not done this to me against my will. And this is where the next thing came to me. If the attacking person is not guilty because I hired them to do this on purpose, because I wanted to be able to justify why I should be separate from God, and if God also was not involved because He remains unconditionally loving at all times... then... who is there left to pin this on? Who is responsible for this? I AM. When there is nobody to blame and I can see the choice I made... it was ME. I did it.

I saw myself as 100% totally responsible for having chosen this, having organized it, produced it, made it happen - in effect, as having requested it, WANTED it, and chose it. I did it to myself on purpose! I wanted to be unloveable so that I could be what God does not want so that I could have an ego life. The whole purpose of my conspiracy was to scapegoat the attacker so that I could cover up the fact that I 100% chose this. I can't very well keep blaming anyone else when I can see clearly that I asked for it, literally. So what did this leave me with?

If I'm 100% responsible for trying to deny God on purpose, and for arranging attackers to give me reasons to PROVE why I am separate from God, so that I can JUSTIFY my failure to forgive, then that means... I'm the one left holding the baby. I'm the one who made the choice. I'm the one who DID THIS TO MYSELF. And with nowhere else to go, and nobody else to scapegoat, and no way to blame it on God, being able to see I did this to myself made it immediately obvious what the next step would be. It was ridiculous to keep doing this. It was stupid to have done this in the first place. I simply had no choice but to ADMIT I made a mistaken choice, to STOP making this painful fruitless choice that I no longer wanted, and to LET IT GO. I could not let it go if I still wanted it, and nobody was forcing me to do so for any reason - I had to be willing to choose again, to decide, to surrender this choice I'd made on my own and let Holy Spirit choose for me.

The truth was I had been trying to deny and reject God with my secret plan and that I did not want to be worthy of love. I had always thought I had umpteen reasons why I wasn't worthy enough because of other people or wasn't able to be myself freely in case someone abuses me or whatever... And all along it was really secretly me making EXCUSES for why *I* didn't want to be loved anyway. It was all because of what I was doing to myself. It was all a smokescreen to cover up my decision to not be loveable. So. .. To let that go.... FREES ME, not because I'm somehow freed from other people's tyranny, and not because God suddenly changed his mind, but because there really WAS no one else making me be unloveable other than my DECISION to be that way.

I can choose again. I can choose to stop doing this to myself, this silly game, since it is FUTILE, and I DO NOT LIKE IT, so I can just drop it like a hot potato. And what's the result of that.... Accepting and admitting that I AM LOVEABLE and WORTHWHILE and perfectly accepted already by love. It was never about me not being actually loveable, it was always about ME DENYING the love. Denying God. Pretending there was a reason to not be loved. It's bullshit. I admit it.

So freeing - to set yourself free - to realize you were free all along. To reclaim love and be free to be who you really are. Game over.

This also interestingly parallels the discussion about the fact that we choose death - that all death is suicide. The truth was that my unloveability was MY DELIBERATE CHOICE because I WANTED to deny God. Everything else was a coverup job. This is the death wish. The decision to be beyond love's reach - beyond life's reach. And the reversal of this wish for death is a choice to BE ALIVE. This is a reclaiming of and a step towards accepting immortality. Immortality is already the truth, it's just a matter now of removing all of the denial and deliberate choices made against it.

"This means that I cannot allow them to leave their mind unguarded, or they will not be able to help me. Miracle-working entails a full realization of the power of thought, and real avoidance of miscreation. Otherwise, the miracle will be necessary to set the mind ITSELF straight, a circular process which would hardly foster the time-collapse for which the miracle was intended. Nor would it induce the healthy respect that every miracle-worker must have for true cause and effect."

When you're having emotions, typically they are reactions. You have a thought which produces a perception of the world. And in this thought you're seeing yourself as a victim or being affected in some way. And this produces a negative emotion.

These ego emotions seem to be changes in you, which you believe are the effect of causes outside of you. They cause you to change against your will, and so your "emotions" or "effects" go on a rollercoaster ride or constant shifts, seemingly chosen BY the world and enforced upon you.

But if you'll look you'll notice that all ego emotions have this backwards cause-effect quality to them. They all seem like they are telling YOU what you feel. They seem like they are happening to you. And the basis for these feelings always seems to be something you believe is happening to you outside of you.

How can it be that if you are the cause of everything you experience, per the secret of salvation, that you can be at the effect of emotions? How can it even be that you even HAVE emotions that have this affected quality to them? Emotions of fear and guilt, emotions of grief and loss, emotions of suffering?

If you are cause, and are owning up to being the cause, then you must realize your emotions are coming from you. You are causing them. Not the world, not the circumstances, not other people or the body. You must be choosing them. You must have made a wrong decision if your emotion is not peace.

Surely you have the ability to choose what you are going to feel? Or at least, you have the ability to choose whether to produce upset feelings or not. You can choose whether you feel guilty. You can choose whether to feel grief. You can choose whether to feel unhappy for any reason. It is always you that chooses what you are experiencing.

So this then means we have to get behind the feelings and stop regarding them as just "happening to us". And stop interacting with them as if they are telling US how we feel. We need to stop listening to them as if looking to them to guide us and inform us of what state we're in. WE PUT THEM THERE. We shouldn't be asking something WE PUT THERE to tell us how we feel, as if they know and we don't.

All ego emotions are "effects" which your mind puts in place, under the belief that the world puts them in place. If you believe the world has power over you then you will produce emotions, effects, symptoms, reactions, which all seem to try to TELL YOU what you are and how you feel and what you must experience. You have to stop listening to them. But even more you have to stop creating them.

This all goes back to the mind. It goes back to thought. If you look at thought you will notice that it is the CAUSE of all your suffering. You can be affected by nothing but your thoughts. It is your thoughts alone that bring you pain. Nothing in the world can bring oppression. Your thoughts literally cause all of your upset emotions.

The origin of upset feelings therefore is the nature of your thinking. You might be used to thinking and feeling like a victim, in which you seem to only have feelings if they happen "to you", and you only have thoughts as a kind of passive "commentary" on what is "happening to you." But this is really a destructive use of thought, which reverses cause and effect, and sees you as at the effect of the world.

You have to realize also then that your thoughts have been acting just like a victim, just like your ego emotions, pretending to be happening to you. They have been thoughts of suffering, thoughts of despair, thoughts of being victimized, thoughts of being attacked, thoughts of sickness and death. These thoughts have CAUSED what you have been experiencing, emotionally and physically.

Your thoughts, or rather your thinking, therefore has to go through a transformation in terms of how much destructiveness they contain. Thought has been used by the mind in its belief in death, to produce suffering. Thought can similarly be used far more constructively, positively, in a life affirming way, to uplift and heal and bring life. Thought can be used to give strength.

But you are not used to thinking like this. You are used to being a victim on a battlefield where everything happens to you. You even think that your thoughts are thinking you. This has to be reversed. You have to start using your POWER to think higher thoughts. To think well of yourself and others. To think of happiness. To elect light and love and life.

At first it will seem like you can't do this because you have been so used to just "having" thought and you don't realize you can control it and master it. This is why it takes some practice. But you need to learn that you can actively choose to have uplifting thoughts. You can just as easily have a thought that someone actually is doing well, as you can have a thought that they are suffering. And you have to realize your thoughts have a REAL POWER which can produce REAL EFFECTS.

Your thoughts can and do affect you AND other people. You are not alone in experiencing the EFFECTS of YOUR THINKING. Probably all your life you've been thinking in an egoic way, in a victimy way, which has actually contributed to the suffering of yourself and others. Now you are going to think deliberate, intentional, chosen, free-willed and higher thoughts. Purposeful thoughts of deciding that someone IS doing well, IS healthy, IS healed, IS happy, IS safe, IS innocent, IS resurrected.

You may have never even conceived that your thoughts even have any power. You might've only experienced thoughts like a mental chatter which seems to ramble on without seeming to affect anyone or anything. You might not have put two-and-two together to realize your thoughts have a causal power in them. That they are creative. And that you have been using them TO destroy.

Your mind can heal. Your mind can raise the dead. Your mind can think of miracles. Your mind can decide someone is not sick. Your mind can strengthen and reinforce the truth. Your mind can give life. And your mind can be filled with the power of God. Your thoughts are extremely powerful. The misuse of them has been the sole cause of all your suffering. And now you can turn your thoughts to God and to reality and truth and light and love and express the power of love through thought to others.

"Miracles are thought-creations. Thought can create lower-order or higher-order realities."

"He, too, MUST begin to think of himself as a very powerful receiving and sending channel"

"The mind is a very powerful creator, and it never loses its creative force. It never sleeps. Every instant it is creating, and ALWAYS as you will. Many of your ordinary expressions reflect this. For example, when you say "don't give it a thought", you are implying that if you do not think about something, it will have no effect on you. This is true enough."

"While expressions like "think big" give some recognition to the power of thought, they still come nowhere near the truth. You do not expect to grow when you say it, because you don't really believe it. It is hard to recognize that thought and belief combine into a power-surge that can literally move mountains."

There are people who live in fear all the time. They are so afraid and see themselves as such vulnerable victims, that they are very unaware of the fact that they are doing this to themselves.

In "victim consciousness", part of the mind sees itself as very threatened and weakened. This is the persona. The persona is an attempt to get rid of parts of the Self, keeping certain select parts and chopping out the rest. It seems to do this in an attempt to make itself special, or to give special value or meaning to what it keeps. You will find that victims are somewhat self absorbed, thinking of themselves as superior.

But the act of getting rid of parts of yourself and stripping yourself away simply weakens you, is a form of self mutilation, diminishes you and therefore you can't help but experience yourself as having become weaker. Then you will be much more likely to experience fear and threat and danger, because you see yourself as "little". This littleness, cowering in a corner, is a natural result of trying to be good, trying to be perfect, trying to deny and reject things about yourself that you cannot accept or love. It also the result of not being able to grant the same acceptability to others.

Simultaneously, as you make yourself small and even more prone to danger, where do all of the parts of you go that you have disapproved of? They go into an unconscious part of the mind called the shadow. You relegate them there through means of denial, suppression, avoidance, attack, labelling as wrong or bad, judgement as inferior or unworthy, making guilty, being angry, etc. So the victim will be doing all of these things to themselves. And as such they will have portioned off a significant part of themselves and have made it unconscious - outside of awareness.

However, this unconscious stuff, is still in your mind. And it is now a part of the mind/Self which has been additionally attacked. It's been judged, hated, relegated, rejected, abandoned and so on. You've piled all of your guilt into it. And this has actually turned it into a kind of monster. A dark twisted vicious-seeming monster which is hurt and angry and wants revenge, and which threatens to attack the perfection-seeking persona part of the mind.

So now the persona part of the mind has good seeming "reasons" and explanations for why it should be terrified, because the other part of the mind has become an enemy. And since the other part of the mind is WITHIN the single mind, it's like being locked in a room with a monster. It has access to 'you' - or at least the persona you, and so you will feel exposed to it, able to be affected by it, and will try to escape. And as you try to escape by rejecting it more and more and hating it more and more, it becomes ever more empowered and aggressive and even more of a threat, chasing you down and terrifying you.

All of this inner drama will project outward onto the world and will play out in all manner of ways. It will recruit people to seem to come along and attack you. It will create scenarios where you seem to be terribly threatened. It will orchestrate events through the power of the mind to make stuff happen to fulfill what you think should be happening to you. Whatever is happening on the inside, will happen on the outside. And this will give weight and justification to continuing to believe that this monster is 'out there', everywhere, and not within you.

What the victim does not realize is that it needs to make peace with the victimizer, and that the Self - who you are - your identity, is NOT the victim OR the victimizer. They both are WITHIN what is you - the wholeness of your mind. They are both artificial characters that you have invented and which you've made to be at war with each other. You invented them. And the only reason that you allow it to continue and don't realize you're doing it to yourself, is because you don't realize they are both inside you, are both a part of your ONE SELF, and therefore continue to see them as separate.

If they are separate, and if there is something about the victimizer part that the victim part 'claims' is not themselves, and if there is something about the victim part which the victimizer part 'claims' is not part of themselves, an ILLUSION is maintained - requiring a certain amount of unawareness - that they are SEPARATE IDENTITIES. So long as the victim therefore sees themselves as 'not the victimizer', the mind which houses both parts won't be able to realize that it is both of them.

You must realize that you are both parts, and that both parts are within the whole of what you are. And therefore, any ILLUSIONS relating to how they are not each other, MUST be illusions. You therefore recognize the illusion as just that, see through it, and can no longer believe it. This will instantaneously collapse the persona and the shadow, because they are now seen as artificial constructs in the one mind.

They can't both be true. You have to recognize that within you, you've created a victim-self, AND a victimizer-self, and that YOU are the one who is choosing, animating, giving life to, orchestrating, controlling and USING both of them against each other. And therefore both of them are puppets that you are using, to wage war. The victimizer puppet is attacking the victim puppet, but the victim puppet is also attacking the victimizer puppet. The victim puppet came into being when the mind decided to also create the victimizer. You MUST recognize therefore that you are your own enemy, that you have been the one who has been threatening yourself, and that you are BOTH the victim and the victimizer.

Then you can see that since you are BOTH of them, and since they APPEAR to be different, those differences MUST be illusions. You can then no longer believe in the illusion that they are separate or that either of their sob-stories are valid. If you are the one who is pulling all the strings to perform this self-against-self drama, then these puppets are nothing more than puppets, and they are NOT WHO YOU ARE. And you are the whole. This shift in identity from being either victim or victimizer, to being both, to being neither, is AWAKENING. And only in awakening to a more whole self can you be FREE from this self-attacking, fear-producing, self-destructive state of no peace. It's all been happening inside yourself, and has nothing to do with the world or other people.

And so as the victim walks around the world suffering and feeling exposed and vulnerable all the time, thinking that there is nowhere safe to go and nowhere to be that isn't open to attack, they simply are NOT AWARE of who they are, they are heavily identified with the persona victim self, they are heavily PROJECTING their shadow onto the world and see themselves as very threatened by it. In other words, there is a lot of perceived difference and separation between the two warring parts of their mind. There are many illusions that the person is falling for, because they do not have enough AWARENESS of the fact that they are doing this all to themselves.

And so they think that they have enemies and the world is not safe and they can't go anywhere or do any thing or even move an inch because absolutely everyone seems to be against them. But they are ONLY against themselves. And if they could see this and realize this, they would learn to stop attacking themselves, to stop seeing themselves as the persona self, stop seeing themselves as victims, stop trying to be only good and only special, and embrace the WHOLENESS of who they are. Which is actually unconditional love. And they will experience safety, invulnerability, and immortality. And that is a state in which there is NO REASON TO BE AFRAID. Yes

From lesson 261...

"The body is a fence the Son of God imagines he has built, to separate parts of his Self from other parts. It is within this fence he thinks he lives, to die as it decays and crumbles. For within this fence he thinks that he is safe from love. Identifying with his safety, he regards himself as what his safety is. How else could he be certain he remains within the body, keeping love outside? "

"The body will not stay. Yet this he sees as double safety. For the Son of God's impermanence is "proof" his fences work, and do the task his mind assigns to them. For if his oneness still remained untouched, who could attack and who could be attacked? Who could be victor? Who could be his prey? Who could be victim? Who the murderer? And if he did not die, what "proof" is there that God's eternal Son can be destroyed?

|

"The body is a dream. Like other dreams it sometimes seems to picture happiness, but can quite suddenly revert to fear, where every dream is born. For only love creates in truth, and truth can never fear. Made to be fearful, must the body serve the purpose given it. But we can change the purpose that the body will obey by changing what we think that it is for."

--------------------------

Changing the purpose of the body DOES NOT mean looking at it as a separate thing and skewing your vision to pretend it looks healthier than it is! It means, LITERALLY, CHANGING THE BODY to DEMONSTRATE that it is not sick!

Some people believe it's our job to change how we perceive the body, that we are to dis-identify from it, and so in a way separate from it. Some also believe we are to focus on healing the mind, not the body. Some also believe the course is not teaching us about healing the body. And some also believe we'll be able to wake up from dreaming without changing the body at all, or healing its sickness, or making it impossible for it to die.

But if this is true, if the body is just some "thing" that exists, that we identify with or not, or make ourselves separate from, or which is not part of our mind, then this raises a question:

WHO PUT THE BODY THERE IF NOT YOUR MIND?

Or additionally, what it is that causes the body to be sick and die if not YOUR MIND?

You have to then answer this question without resorting to jumping to a different level or using an intellectual bypass. The question can only have a couple of possible answers:

1) God made the bodies and we're just changing how we see them, and have to accept them as sick and dead.

2) It was us who made the bodies.

That there are no bodies, bodies are illusions, bodies don't exist, or whatever else along those lines is NOT a valid answer to this question at this point.

Someone HAS to be responsible for the body that is showing up, regardless of whether it's an illusion. SOMEONE is making it appear. SOMEONE is putting it there. Even if it's not really there.

So who is it?

If it's not you who is making the body show up, then it's God's fault. Yet the course says, "Love did not create the body". And God is love, so God didn't put the body there.

And if you are supposed to disconnect yourself from or separate from the body in some way, to go "only into mind", or to IGNORE its sickness or its death, WHO STILL is putting that body there? WHO or WHAT is making it sick? WHO is making it die?

It has no bearing on whether you are at peace or not or what your mind is doing in this scenario. Somehow, someone, or something, must be responsible for making a sick and broken body show up.

We know it's not God. And if you're claiming it's not YOU because you are not a body, you're shifting levels mid-logic. If you are the mind "only" and "not the body", and God didn't make the body, who is CONTINUING to maintain the body? Someone is! Someone is continuing to make the body appear and walk around the planet with sickness showing up in it, and supposedly you're off on cloud9 having a happy time ... so WHO IS RESPONSIBLE?

What you cannot escape here is simple fact, that IT IS YOU who are making the body appear. Even if it's an illusion, it is YOU who are dreaming it. The world is not putting it there. God is not putting it there. There is no other cause in the world because there is NO cause in the world. The body didn't show up on its own. Nor did it show up because of your parents.

Your body right now, with which you are contemplating typing a response, or which you are using to read these words, is being put there BY YOU. And as such, you are 100% responsible for everything it showing up as. No-one else is responsible for it.

That means, in conclusion, SINCE YOU are the one who is making your body appear, YOU HAVE EVERY ABILITY to make an entire body appear! Out of nowhere! With the power of your mind only. You ARE DOING IT right now! You've been doing it for years!

So that means, if you are able to project a body, which appears to have a certain condition or state of health, what's to stop you from projecting a body which is in perfect health, has no sickness, and is not suffering, and cannot die?

YOU are putting the sickness into the body. It's your responsibility. The sickness can ONLY stay in the body IF you keep putting it there. If you are trying to get your mind into a place where it thinks of itself as "I am not the body" but the body is still showing up, what does that tell you? YOU STILL believe you are a body. You're not being honest. The body can only appear IF YOU make it appear. The body can only "stay sick" if YOU keep projecting a sick body (from a sick mind).

So there isn't any way to avoid this. You are the one who made your body. You are the one making it right now. That means your mind is pretty powerful at manifesting a human being. And more besides. So why would this ever mean, that you don't have the ability to make it show up as healed, or that you have to put up with suffering, or that you cannot remove sickness, or that you are supposed to become peaceful "in spite of death"? You will never be able to be at peace in spite of death because if death "happens to you" you will see yourself as a victim.

Healthy mind, healthy body. Sick mind, sick body. That's how it works. No-one else is responsible for your state of being, and nothing in the world causes your body to be sick or keeps it sick. No-one but YOU makes the body appear AT ALL. No-one but YOU has the free will choice to make it show up as a symbol of sinlessness.

No-one has to suffer and no-one has to keep sickness or to try to find ways to "work around it" or "live with it" or "tolerate it" or "transcend it". JUST REMOVE THE SICKNESS!!!

That's what miracles are for!

"If the mind can heal the body, but the body cannot heal the mind, then the mind must be stronger than the body. Every miracle demonstrates this."

"What if you looked within and saw there IS no sin?"

Fact: God is permanent, nothing real can be changed.

Fact: You cannot change God's will.

Fact: You cannot produce effects in God against His will.

Fact: You cannot sin against His will or cause Him in any way.

Fact: You have not caused God, you cannot cause God, and you never will cause God.

Fact: You have not sinned in reality, against reality, to reality, or in any real way.

Fact: It is IMPOSSIBLE to sin. It is IMPOSSIBLE to affect God. You have NOT done so. Nothing real has happened.

So, the question we now have is... what is this state that we're in, where it seems like something went wrong and we're suffering?

There was this tiny mad idea which basically was the idea that something impossible is possible. Even though you knew it was IMPOSSIBLE to affect God, you tried to BELIEVE it was actually possible. You wanted to believe you COULD sin, and that you HAD done so, and that it had produced ACTUAL real effects in reality against God. However, the impossible remains impossible so you HAVE NOT DONE IT AT ALL. Believing that you have, is an obvious ERROR.

So all that this separated state entails is BELIEVING IN something which isn't true. Believing and investing "reality" into and trying to MAKE REAL, something which is not real and never will be. You are trying to convince yourself that you can, and have, sinned. All your states of suffering, sin, guilt, fear, punishment, sickness, death, are all attempts to prove that you CAN DO what you cannot do. That you CAN kill God and His son. Or that you have. You cannot. And you have not. And you never will.

So you are immortal and you're trying to prove that you can be mortal, but you can't. Nothing you do can change the facts. You cannot actually sin. You cannot change God or His Creation. It is literally impossible. So all this other stuff that you BELIEVE, all the ways that you think you should be suffering, all the fear that comes from the guilt, all the guilt that comes from believing you DID sin, it is in fact TOTALLY UNFOUNDED AND UNNECESSARY.

It's kind of like, a long time ago you THOUGHT that you HAD committed some terrible crime, or that you tried to attack God, and in the scuffle you IMAGINED that you had in fact lashed out at Him and hurt Him. And it seemed to happen so quickly you took one glance and thought you SAW evidence or proof that you had actually inflicted harm. And then you suddenly recoiled and went into the sin belief and then into guilt and then into fear and suffering. You went off by yourself hanging your head low and BELIEVING that you had done something REALLY BAD back there. That you committed a terrible crime and all of reality was affected.

But here's the good news. In your moment of attempted attack you were ONLY MISTAKEN in believing that you DID actually do something. You made an ERROR in believing that a sin was committed. The good news is, God was in fact NOT AFFECTED, you DID NOT change Him, and there HAS NOT been any harm done. So now here you are, suffering and hating yourself and hurting yourself ONLY because you think that you deserve it because you THINK that you actually DID commit a sin. But in truth... this is the good bit... YOU DID NOT SUCCEED.

So if you could turn back time and go look at that moment where you thought you attacked God, you'll be surprised to find out, that YOU DIDN'T. And God has been happy and healthy all this time. And He's not even mad at you. He isn't holding any grievance and He just wants to love you. He sees in fact that you became horrified by your own belief in your own attack, which DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, but you didn't realize that it didn't do anything. You THOUGHT it was real. You put reality into it and believed in it. You convinced yourself you were a sinner, when in fact you've been innocent all along.

So this state we find ourselves in, in this world, suffering and unhappy, is ENTIRELY a case of mistaken identity, mistaken criminality, and being TOTALLY IN ERROR about what we think happened. NOTHING HAPPENED. You DID NOT SIN. NOTHING HAS CHANGED. REALITY IS NOT AFFECTED. GOD IS HAPPY WITH YOU. And yet here you are believing, in a dream, that you did in fact commit a sin.

So you're not really dealing here with real sin, at all. Reality, is kind of "over there", unharmed, unchanged, completely the same as it always was. Even your own holy self is there, innocent as ever. And then "over here", where you're hanging out, you're immersed in this cloud of confusion and self deception, believing that you did a crime YOU DID NOT COMMIT, and becoming suicidal and beating yourself up for it, when in fact you DIDN'T EVEN DO IT! You're living in a fantasy world of believing you DID, and trying to PROVE that you COULD, but you can't and NEVER WILL prove it. "You've made a bargain you cannot keep."

So you're just a bit confused. You're in error. You're mistaken, to believe that you can or have sinned. It's JUST A MISTAKE. You are mistaken ABOUT sinning. That's why it is TOTALLY FORGIVEN and forgivable, because you HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING REAL. You've frightened yourself and reacted and gone into self loathing purely on the basis of a misunderstanding. And so now our work with A Course in Miracles is all to do with coming to realize that you DIDN'T DO what you think you did. This is the basis of forgiveness, learning to recognize THERE IS NO SIN. Sin is NOT REAL. There is no such thing as real sin because it's impossible. And this whole dream has had NOTHING to do with real sin, and everything to do with IMAGINED SIN.

We're just cleaning up the mess and confusion which came from BELIEVING an illusion is real, BELIEVING that the impossible is possible, BELIEVING that you've done something that you could not POSSIBLY do. The innocent cannot sin. You cannot leave your innocence, nor can you stop being innocent because it's God's will that you be innocent forever. You CANNOT DESTROY GOD'S CREATION. And you have done NOTHING to change it. All you worry and guilt and self-attack and punishments and sinfulness and fear is all FOR NOTHING, because it's all founded on a LIE. A totally false premise. You were MISTAKEN to BELIEVE that you can or did sin. YOU DIDN'T.

This whole "problem" is not to do with healing a sin, it's entirely to do with waking from BELIEVING that you did. From thinking it happened. From thinking it was possible at all. This is why the whole thing is merely an ERROR, as seen by the Holy Spirit. He knows you cannot sin and never have. He knows that this error, this entire illusion of trying to make sin real, is completely a lie. Totally false. You never will separate from God. You never will attack Him. You never will kill His Son - yourself. You never will lose your innocence. You are just dreaming of being a sinner, while all along you are not one.

"But we can dream we have forgiven him in whom all sin remains impossible, and it is this we choose to dream today."

"True perception is the means by which the world is saved from sin, for sin does not exist. And it is ... Forgiveness proves it is impossible because it sees it not."

"Sin is insanity. It is the means by which the mind is driven mad, and seeks to let illusions take the place of truth. And being mad, it sees illusions where truth was"

"Today s idea but states the simple truth that makes the thought of sin impossible."

"For it is impossible to think of sin as true and not believe forgiveness is a lie."

"What faith you give to sin, you TAKE AWAY from holiness."

"It is not inherent in a mind, which cannot sin. As sin was an idea you taught yourself, forgiveness must be learned by you as well, but from a Teacher other than yourself".

"Do I DESIRE a world in which I have no enemies, and cannot sin?"

"The Self Which God created cannot sin, and therefore cannot suffer."

"And what is wholly sinless cannot sin. Such is the simple truth."