"The denial of God is the ego's religion."

At the soul level, everyone is immortal and holy. There is no problem, no unhappiness, no sickness, no death.

At the mind level, which is part of the soul, and perhaps only part of the mind at that, there is denial present.

This denial is the rejection of reality, God, truth, sanity, Self, health and holiness.

So in effect you've got holy immortal beings whose minds are experiencing temporary insanity, who are pretending to be mortal and want to die.

They are actively denying God. Denying love. Denying health. Denying life. Denying who they are.

All sickness is simply denial of health. And this comes about purely as denial of the truth.

"Sickness is a defense (denial) against the truth"

It is our job as miracle workers, as healers, as not-denyers, to primarily NOT deny what the deniers are denying. Rather to accept God, health, happiness, life, immortality, etc.

We do this by in turn denying the denial of the truth. We deny that God IS denied. We deny that there is no health. We deny that sickness and death exist. We reject everything not of God.

"It denies the ability of anything which is not of God to effect you in any way. This is the PROPER use of denial."

"True denial is a very powerful protective device. You can and should deny any belief that error can hurt you."

Once you have denied the denial of God, you have stepped out of the ego's religion. The ego's religion is one of death, being the denial of life. It worships the God of sickness.

"Allegiance to the denial of God is the ego's religion. The god of sickness obviously demands the denial of health, because health is in direct opposition to its own survival. But consider what this means to YOU. UNLESS you are sick you cannot keep the gods you made, for only in sickness could you possibly WANT them. Blasphemy (everything ego), then, is SELF-destructive, not God destructive."

By denying the denial of God, and thus ASSERTING the support and acceptance of LIFE, you become miraculous. You refuse to accept that the denial of truth is true, or that the unreality of sickness is in fact real. You remember God's religion of life.

Those who deny themselves are blocking their own identity and their own health and happiness. This denial is the sole cause of all sickness. It is a repression of life, a resistance against immortality, a defense against truth, and a rejection of divine order.

Thus your task as a miracle worker now becomes to not buy into the denial, reject the denial, reverse the denial, and thus shine a light of the truth into the mind of those who are in denial, to undo their denial for them.

"If to love oneself is to HEAL oneself, those who are sick do NOT love themselves. Therefore, they are asking for the love that would heal them, but which they are DENYING TO THEMSELVES. If they knew the truth about themselves, they could not be sick.

The task of the miracle-worker thus becomes to DENY THE DENIAL OF TRUTH. The sick must heal THEMSELVES, for the truth is IN them. But, having OBSCURED it, the light in ANOTHER mind must shine into theirs, because that light IS theirs."

Denying health is a denial of light, placing you in darkness. Denying God denies innocence and asserts sin, producing guilt, which gives rise to sickness. Without the denial of God there can be no sin, no evil, no guilt, and no death.

The denial of death is the acceptance of eternal life. It is as simple as that. Resurrection and atonement are simply acts of accepting and extending God's Will. By being raised from the dead you become able to raise the dead. There is nothing more complicated to it.

Deny death by asserting that only immortality is real. No one can truly be sick. There is no real death. No one is really suffering. All of this can be undone because what is not life does not exist.

Is there a power OTHER than the mind that can cause things to happen to us? What causes sickness? What makes death happen? Do we actually have any control over this world? Do we have a power, to such an extent, that we can actually determine what happens or doesn't happen? Can we actually CHOOSE to cause or not cause sickness and death?

This is an important issue because if we are not the ones orchestrating everything that occurs, everything we experience, then that places us in a rather vulnerable position. If there is a power or cause or law or something that drives stuff to occur, without our consent, without our choosing it, this basically means we are capable of being victims. Stuff can happen to us against our will.

It may seem SUPER radical to suggest that you could be in a position of having so much deliberateness, so much choice, so much power, that you could be orchestrating an entire dream. That the things that happen are what YOU decide will happen. That nothing else happens, because you haven't chosen it. It really then boils down to, are you actually able to choose not to suffer, to not be sick, to not die? Can you choose that events don't occur at all? Do you have the power to CAUSE these to not happen, and do you have the power to cause them TO happen?

This then really becomes a question of RESPONSIBILITY. Who or what is responsible, in every case, for what happens in your life? Do you shift responsibility and therefore "blame" onto others, onto the body or the world itself? For what seems to happen TO you? Who is responsible for whether you are attacked or not? Who is responsible for whether your body becomes sick, or is healed, or just carries on being sick without hope of relief? Because ultimately someone or some "thing" HAS to be the cause. It's either you, or it's something else. There are NO effects without causes.

If you look at the teachings of ACIM closely you will see that there is a huge theme of EMPOWERMENT. This empowerment is saying that you are so powerful that you literally are the dreamer of the dream. It says that you are ruler of the universe. It says that you can be attacked by nothing but your thoughts. It says you cannot die without your own consent. It says that you are not the victim of the world you see. All of these themes point towards you having POWER OVER what happens. YOU CHOOSE!

"If you give no power to the fog to obscure the light, it HAS none, for it has power ONLY because the Son of God gave power TO it. He must HIMSELF withdraw that power, remembering that all power is of God."

"Here again is the paradox often referred to in the course. To say, "Of myself I can do nothing" is to gain all power. And yet it is but a seeming paradox. As God created you, you have all power."

Indeed it leads to what ACIM calls "the secret of salvation". This is quite a radical passage because it basically says that unless you were to go into a kind of unconscious state of denial in which you disown power and see the dream as "happening against your will", NOTHING In the world can do anything to you - no matter how vicious it seems. And in fact, that the secret to being SAVED FROM all forms of suffering, is to realize and own fully that you are "doing it to yourself." That takes great OWNERSHIP of power.

We immediately start to bark with objections about how this can't be true in all situations. But the passage tells us that no matter who is the victim or victimizer, it is true. No matter who seems to do what to whom, or what the apparent severity, it is still true. So it's then telling us that despite any appearances, despite what may look like external causes or separate people acting in certain ways, no matter what it looks like on the surface, it is ALWAYS TRUE that you are doing it to yourself.

And it calls this the "secret of salvation" because it talks of how this is the ONE LESSON the holy spirit is teaching to SAVE YOU from ALL forms of suffering. That the cause of ALL forms of suffering, no matter what form it takes, including physical sickness, is the fact that you are the one doing it to yourself. And because you are doing it yourself, you can change your mind and STOP doing it.

"I must have decided wrongly because I am NOT at peace. I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise."

Because in truth, really, UNLESS you are actually the one with the power to CAUSE anything to happen, you would not be in a position to be able to USE that power to NOT cause it to happen, or to undo it. It is because you DO cause it, that there is IS hope for salvation. There is a way out of hell and suffering and sickness and death BECAUSE you are the one that keeps putting it in place. And if you weren't the one putting it in place, you'd be stuck having to tolerate it, experience it, suffer from it, and go through it, without any hope of relief, ie no salvation.

This is quite a radical teaching and it is extremely central to the entire A Course in Miracles view of cause and effect, of who causes what, and of how POWERFUL you are. It rests on the fact that you are an immortal being, a permanent changeless being, who is always the same and is incapable of change or of being changed. A being that is NOT AFFECTED by the world.

"The world does nothing to him. He only thought it did."

Forgiveness rests on this immortal fact, because obviously if you are immortal nothing can happen to you, so you have no grounds for playing at being a victim, no grounds for believing that something is happening against your will, and no grounds for suffering. If you are immortal then you quite literally are invulnerable to the entire world, and there is not a single thing in all the world that has even the slightest power to cause anything that you do not want. In fact it means you have power OVER DEATH, because you cannot die.

This is what the entire teaching of ACIM is leading to. The total identification with spirit as Christ, the immortal son of God. The total owning of RESPONSIBILITY FOR BEING CAUSAL - a causal CREATOR. The total reclaiming of absolute unlimited POWER, which can do literally anything. The reclaiming of the power to work miracles, to heal sickness and to prevent death, and to change the world if needed. It is asking of you to reclaim a role and position of nothing LESS than TOTAL ABSOLUTE POWER.

By having such a power, a power so great that literally the entire dream is being dreamed up BY your mind, a power that puts the world in place and makes it spin, a power that materializes bodies, a power that causes events to transpire, we're talking about you being extremely DELIBERATE and CHOOSING everything that occurs or is experienced. And this does mean without exception. Not one single thing occurs that you do not choose, and because the power of decision is yours, you CAN CHOOSE not to have the body be sick, or die. YOU make the world go round.

This isn't a course in leaving any room open for some kind of fictional "alien will", a separate power, an external power, some kind of power the "dream" seems to have over you, some victim consciousness, some kind of external causation that can do things to you against your will, some kind of power that puts sickness into your body without your asking for it, or some kind of power other than your choice that seems to make death happen.

These are all the views that the EGO has, in its sense of weakness and powerlessness and vulnerability and fear. It sees itself as utterly at war with a separated-off power not within itself, that does things to it against its desires. And it sees itself as having no control or real power over anything, so instead to uses "force" and "doing" to try to make things happen.

"All forms of sickness, even unto death, are physical expressions of the FEAR OF AWAKENING. They are attempts to reinforce UNCONSCIOUSNESS out of fear of CONSCIOUSNESS. This is a pathetic way of TRYING NOT TO KNOW by rendering the faculties for knowing ineffectual."

We are being asked to own up to being immortal beings. Beings who are purely CAUSAL and CREATIVE. Beings who express from love and whose expressions come out as what you want, and as what you create and thus as what happens or exists. Where you are constantly choosing WHAT shows up and what occurs. There is no room in the mind of a creator/co-creator for stuff happening "by some other means", or of your choices being unheard, or of your decisions lacking power, or of your causation lacking effects.

This is a course in TAKING BACK YOUR POWER. And that means and includes the total responsibility and ownership of being THE CAUSE OF all your suffering, in every form it takes, INCLUDING the condition of the body, all of its forms and sickness and suffering, and even over death itself. You even have the power to literally move mountains and to make worlds. Only in this extreme of absolute ownership of the POWER OF GOD, which is your inheritance, is victimhood and vulnerability and pain and misery snuffed out forever. There is no power OTHER THAN the power of God that you share with him.

The question is whether you are willing to go all the way to accept this power, to take on this role and position of being ruler of the universe, whether you are willing to OWN this power and regain access to USE it consciously. Whether you are ready to let go of all victimhood roles and all sense of not choosing or not being the one who makes things happen. It's putting you in the hot-seat. If you are to reach the resurrection and FINISH the curriculum, you MUST gain the absolute power over death, which gives you the ability to cancel and reverse and prevent it EVEN on a physical level.

"I raised the dead by KNOWING that life is an eternal attribute of everything that the living God Created. Why do you believe that it is harder for me to inspire the dis-spirited or to stabilize the unstable? I do not believe that there is an order of difficulty in miracles: YOU do."

If you believe that sickness happens through some other reason, by some other cause, something in the world or body, something environmental, something someone else does to you, if events happen on their own chaotically or randomly, if death chooses for you when you will die, if sickness happens to the body, if sickness can remain within the body against the mind's choice, and if you believe that you do NOT have the power to do anything about this, that IS an egoic position of victimhood and powerlessness. And we are all-too comfortable playing this role.

It means you are "playing the game of death", as an immortal being, PRETENDING that you do NOT have the power of God, and trying to pull off a stunt of making it look AS IF you are not the one causing everything to occur. When it appears you did not choose something, it is an illusion. You are ALWAYS choosing what you experience, what you feel, what happens with the body, what events transpire. NOTHING happens without your consent. This is because you are an infinitely powerful being with an extremely powerful unlimited mind capable of creating entire worlds.

"There are no accidents in salvation."

"Your Father created you Wholly without sin, wholly without pain, and wholly without suffering of any kind. If you deny Him, you bring sin, pain, and suffering into your OWN mind, because of the power He gave it. Your mind is capable of creating worlds, but it can also DENY what it creates, because it is free."

Owning up to this power - the shared Power of God - which is UNLIMITED, and there is NOTHING that this power (thus your holiness) cannot do .... places you in a position of being co-creator with God. For a creator there is nothing that comes IN to you from the outside, there is ONLY an outflowing from the inside outward. An extension so strong it cannot be stopped. The unlimited will of God.

You cannot have things coming at you, attacking you, changing you, affecting you, choosing for you. YOU are the master. You dominate everything. You are the ultimate cause. YOU are in charge of your destiny. You are NEVER a victim, and NOTHING happens without your choosing it and causing it. OWN THIS, and you will be free from suffering and death forever.

"My Self is ruler of the universe." It is impossible that anything should come to me unbidden by myself. Even in this world, it is I who rule my destiny. What happens is what I desire. What does not occur is what I do not want to happen. This must I accept."

"It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain. Nothing external to your mind can hurt or injure you in any way. There is no cause beyond yourself that can reach down and bring oppression. No one but yourself affects you. There is nothing in the world which has the power to make you ill or sad, or weak or frail. But it is you who have the power to dominate all things you see by merely recognizing what you are."

"No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision. No one suffers pain except his choice elects this state for him. No one can grieve nor fear nor think him sick unless these are the outcomes that he wants, and no one dies without his own consent. Nothing occurs but represents your wish, and nothing is omitted that you choose. Here is your world, complete in all details. Here is its whole reality for you. And it is only here salvation is."

"I can be hurt by nothing but my thoughts."

"When you are weary, remember you have hurt yourself. Your Comforter will rest you, but YOU cannot. YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW, for if you did, you could never have grown weary. Unless you have hurt yourselves, you could never suffer in ANY way, for that is not God's Will for His Son. Pain is not of Him, for He knows no attack, and His peace surrounds you silently."

"The secret of salvation is but this: That YOU are doing this UNTO YOURSELF. No matter what the form of the attack, this STILL is true. Whoever takes the role of enemy and of attacker, STILL is this the truth. Whatever seems to be the cause of any pain and suffering you feel, this is STILL true. For you would not react at all to figures in a dream you knew that YOU were dreaming. Let them be as hateful and as vicious as they may, they COULD have no effect on you, unless you failed to recognize it is YOUR dream. This single lesson learned will set you free from suffering, WHATEVER form it takes."

"The Holy Spirit will repeat this ONE inclusive lesson of deliverance, until it has been learned, REGARDLESS of the form of suffering that brings you pain. Whatever hurt you bring to Him, He will make answer with this very simple truth. For this one answer TAKES AWAY the cause of every form of sorrow and of pain. The form affects His answer not at all, for He would teach you but the SINGLE cause of all of them, no matter WHAT their form. And you will understand that miracles reflect the simple statement, "I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo."

"You who perceive yourself as weak and frail, with futile hopes and devastated dreams, born but to die, to weep and suffer pain, hear this: All power is given you in earth and Heaven. There is nothing that you cannot do. You play the game of death, of being helpless, pitifully tied to dissolution in a world which shows no mercy to you. Yet when you accord it mercy, will its mercy shine on you."

"Your holiness reverses all the laws of the world. It is beyond every restriction of time, space, distance, and limits of any kind. Your holiness is totally unlimited in its power because it establishes you as a Son of God, at one with the Mind of his Creator. Through your holiness the power of God is made manifest. Through your holiness the power of God is made available. And there is nothing the power of God cannot do."

"Say ONLY this, but MEAN it with NO reservations, for here the power of salvation lies: ... I AM responsible for what I see. I CHOSE the feelings I experience, and I DECIDED ON the goal I would achieve. And everything that SEEMS to happen TO me, I ASKED FOR and received as I had asked. ... Deceive yourself no longer that you are helpless in the face of what is done TO you. Acknowledge but that YOU have been mistaken, and ALL effects of your mistakes will disappear."

Sometimes it's very hard to forgive someone. You become fixated on what they did to you, or what they were supposed to do that they didn't do. And sometimes this might've been something that occurred over a very long period of time, such that you can't even imagine life without this grievance. You just can't see how you can forgive this person.

This way of perceiving someone is very hard to get past especially if the person is important or valuable to you. And especially if your involvement with them has been largely a 'special relationship', or a victim/victimizer role. When all your focus is on how they affected you, you become blocked and unconscious as if there is no other way of looking at this.

So there you are, your mind is fixated on this person, on what they did to hurt you, and you just can't seem to get past this experience. One thing you do need to do is allow yourself to FEEL the feelings that have arisen as a result of what seemed to happen. By not feeling it you are in profound denial. Never mind that you had anything to do with how you perceive the situation, but to even deny that you feel hurt at all is a whole other layer of denial on top of it. Pretending it didn't happen when your whole being is screaming that 'it did' is an attempt to protect yourself from it, to hide it in order to pretend it is healed. But it does not go away, and it will eat a hole in you until you acknowledge it.

So as you gather a little willingness to explore 'healing', you can begin to at first allow yourself to acknowledge more of yourself, of what you are, and of what you believe has happened to you. Let yourself feel. The feeling has to come up for release. Up and out. This isn't necessarily forgiveness, but it is a form of catharsis to release old stuck energies which do obscure your perception. It's hard to see someone with innocence or calm when you're really feeling angry and hurt. Acknowledging and feeling the feelings, by FEELING them, not describing them, is a step forward in your healing.

Once some of that is past, you have cleared the way to experience a new way of perceiving. You may already have experienced cognitive shifts as a result of releasing emotion, like clouds clearing away which expose the sun. But you need to go deeper. Because this whole dynamic of "they did this to me" leaves you a victim, and if you stay there, you are stuck. Almost all feelings besides LOVE arise from perceiving yourself unfairly treated, or outright hurt. Fears, doubts, anger, hurt, suffering, pain, embarrassment, abandonment, etc all arise from 'its happening to me'. You need to move past this way of looking at the situation. But this is where it's hard, because it requires some form of detachment or greater perspective.

This is where Holy Spirit comes in because you're now willing to change your mind/perception about what happened and potentially see it differently, even if you can't yet see how that's possible. Until you take that inward journey you won't discover the answers and clarity that you need. You must seek reunion with God by joining with Holy Spirit and asking for His Help to overlook the way you've been seeing.

Now, what you have to get past is the belief and perception that ALL of your upset is the direct result of, and put there by, the other person. That it's their fault. That they are the sole cause. That you did absolutely nothing to ask for it at any time. That's irresponsibility. You MUST take some responsibility, even if a little at first. You can't be free from the victim role if you are not responsible. So let yourself be a little willing, however small, to open up to the possibility that there might be another way to look at this. Maybe you participated somehow. Maybe you made a decision or chose a way of experiencing the situation, which resulted in the evidence of hurt that you're left with.

Maybe you choose to AGREE with what the person was doing. Maybe you choose to BELIEVE that you deserved the treatment they gave. Maybe you chose to change your own sense of who you are, based on what they seemed to demonstrate was true of you. Maybe at some point in between what they 'offered' and what you 'took' from what happened, there was a little interval of choice where you came to your OWN CONCLUSION about what this means. Maybe you therefore did this formation of a false belief to yourself, USING the situation by taking it personally. Your belief in it, your agreement with it, your perception that it is the truth having lost sight of the real truth about you, WAS the 'attack' that you perpetrated against yourself, regardless of what the person modeled for you.

Ultimately you're 100% responsible for choosing. You made up the belief you're left with, on your own. Maybe you didn't know any better. Maybe you were too young. Maybe you forgot you are unconditionally lovable. Maybe nobody told you and you lost track of who you really are. But if you're 100% responsible for AGREEING to this punishment, then you also have the POWER to "choose again". And you can do that at any time that you are willing to admit to choosing this belief, and being willing to SURRENDER it to Holy Spirit, because it is simply false.

But you can't tell a belief is false just by saying it is. You need to know what is true. You need to transfer your allegiance and faith. You need to therefore open up to a greater truth, perhaps reminding yourself of what is true of you, or how God views you, or what God thinks of this false belief, or how Holy Spirit sees you in His Light. Ultimately, to FORGIVE, you need to get `into` the light of the Holy Spirit, at least a little bit, so that it can "shed light" on your belief and SHOW YOU that it is false. False beliefs simply ARE false, and you only need to see them clearly to recognize this. It's not seeing them clearly that makes you trust them. In the light of forgiveness you can witness the obvious fact that what you thought was true of you, is completely untrue, and THEN you will be perfectly willing to let it go. You'll know it was a ridiculous, untrue belief, not in line with the Truth of God. Or in other words, you'll see the VALUE of the real truth about you, and the LACK of value of what is false, and therefore RECOGNIZE that what is false does not even apply to you.

It doesn't apply to you. Because you're innocent and holy and forgiven already. You're loved by God. You're safe. You're at peace. You're with Holy Spirit. You're whole and healed. That's the truth. This event never happened. The person never really did anything to you. You did this to yourself and now you can see that you don't want to keep doing so. So you surrender. You surrender the false sense that is MADE FROM this false belief.. this false identity that isn't a true description of you. It wasn't really who you are anyway.

Then you remember who you are as God's Innocent Child and receive HEALING.

Since my wife "died" in January, my perspective on this world and the body, sickness and death has changed drastically.

My wife (her body) was afflicted with various disabilities and medical conditions for over 12 years. For the past 4 years she lived in a bed, and unable to walk. We're talking amputations and strokes/paralysis and heart conditions and sleep disorders and cancer and diabetes and kidney failure, brain damage and dementia, eye problems, breathing problems, digestive problems, multiple trips to the ICU, declared brain-dead one time and barely making it through a triple-heart-bypass another.

The horror show compelled me to want to perform miracles, to heal her body and undo her limitations. Like any person would, driven to alleviate suffering and to make things easier. Avoiding death became the whole focus. And obviously this revolved around my mistaken belief that she was at least in part a physical body. A body with seemingly "real" sicknesses and serious problems.

For years we had this dynamic of me trying to get her (body) back to health, to keep her (body) going, to keep her (body) alive, to resurrect her (body) and fix her (body) and undo everything that happened to her (body). But it all took a toll and over time her body's condition deteriorated. It just couldn't function enough anymore to keep her going. While I helped in some ways, I failed.

Just before she passed, I reached a point where I finally found a willingness to consider, maybe I should just stop trying to keep her (body) alive. Maybe I should just let her go and let her die. All the years of fighting against it, resisting it, avoiding both sicknesses and interventions, trying to prop her up and keep her ticking, it all just kind of came to a point of surrender. It was long and cruel and stressful and fear-inducing. She'd had enough long before, and so had I. Eventually it becomes so ridiculous you just can't keep going.

It was then within a week or two that her body was really giving out, and quickly led to a brush with death, and then a very rapid but mostly peaceful passing. All the time spent resisting death, trying to stop the body being sick, and trying to keep it going indefinitely, culminated in what seemed to be a total failure. A failure to raise the dead, a failure to be miraculous, a failure to stop death itself. But despite appearances, it turns out that wasn't a bad thing.

Actually death turned out to be liberating for both of us. It wasn't what I thought it would be like, and nothing like I feared. In fact, as she continued to live in spirit and communicate me on many occasions in many ways, it proved to me that she was far better off now. She was thrilled and excited and happy, peaceful and calm, liberated and empowered. After she went through a kind of rehabilitation period, she showed up even more, refined and purified and centered in her soul.

Meanwhile her body was on ice shoved in a cardboard box, awaiting cremation. As I looked upon it I could shift perceptions back and forth between believing it was her and that it was nothing to do with her. Clearly something had left it, regardless of how convincing it looked and seemed to have all her features intact. But it wasn't her.

I deliberately viewed the corpse a few times to make the most use of the opportunity to forgive and see it correctly. To distinguish that the body was not her, and to separate out her spirit from the form. So now I was presented with this intense contrast between - the body says she's dead, and the reality and experience of spirit/mind says she's totally alive. And they can't both be true.

It became apparent while communicating to her and thinking about the soul's journey, spanning lifetimes and many bodies, that it never really was 'the plan' in this life for her body to reach an resurrected state. We had this dream that we would ascend to heaven together, and that was a total flop - but partly because in the big picture plan of atonement she is due to wake up in another lifetime, and I'm due for some radical change.

And that was ok, because there was a bigger picture. The really big picture has souls using bodies across many lifetimes, and they are just as easily discarded when no longer functioning well as they are picked up in the first place. They are just tools, devices, vehicles, that we temporarily use for a purpose and then throw away as worthless.

The destruction of the idea of saving her body from death, the complete failure to cause her to avoid death, the surprising discovery that death was liberating and "not all bad", the experience of her continuing to live and interact, the expansive perspective of the soul and its use of bodies, and the way her passing into the light lifted me into the light also, has altered how I look at all this.

What has become super clear is that as soon as we identify with bodies, we immediately go into fear, and start feeling compelled to defend the body against its own nature - its ultimate purpose of dying. As a body we want the body to carry on forever. I wanted to be with my wife's body forever. Then the body snuffs it. Good luck with that, cus you're all gunna die, unless you stop being a body.

By believing a person is a body we develop an entire culture of body preservation, keeping people in their bodies as long as possible, freaking out when the body is attacked or sick, not allowing anyone to leave their bodies voluntarily, trying to stop the body being sick, and generally just resisting the body's death at all costs. It all adds up to a mindset of the fear of death and an attempt to protect and defend the body at all costs. Until that entire mindset goes crashing against the rocks and is smashed to smithereens.

That's what's happened for me. The whole mindset of "lets keep the body going forever" has been destroyed. All the cultural and social ways that we have concern for it, fear of dying happening, avoiding things, trying to create security and safety, freaking out when "someone dies", valuing the body, wanting it to live, even the idea of using miracles to rescue the body endlessly, all has been destroyed for me. And that's a good thing because it was all rooted in believing bodies are people, valuable objects, and something to keep.

I've shifted from a horizontal to a vertical perspective. I would even go so far now as to say "let it all die". Not just the bodies, but all the things of the world. It's dying anyway, and it's going to. All the resistance I had and the fear of it happening was pointless and worthless and ended in a total inability to stop it. It was actually good that I ended up at the end of this lesson surrendering and "letting death happen". Because funnily enough, that was a key to stopping preserving it through the wish to defend the body at all costs. I'm guided now to simply "let her be dead". Because in truth, she isn't.

Trying to prevent death induces it. And I also realized that trying to stop sickness is just making it real and fueling it. So you can imagine that being exposed to someone with many severe sicknesses for a long time has drilled this home for me. I had to get past her body, get past believing she was sick, get past trying to resist the sickness, and get past believing she could even die. And she's proven to me many times over now that she absolutely has not died.

That then becomes a strange irreconcilable contrast. On the one hand the body is sprinkled in the wind as ashes and is no more, seeming to suggest the person is totally destroyed, and yet there she is even more alive than ever, happier than ever, having a great time. When I told her it would be great to be able to see her walking again, and she showed me herself running through fields, she even said "I can fly!". So she's having a great time, and what appeared to be "death" on a physical level did nothing but leave her better off.

So now my whole perspective on bodies and the world and sickness and death is different. I've used her death against death. I see people believing they are bodies, when it's been shown to me that people are not bodies. I see people fearing the body's vulnerabilities, when it's been shown to me that this is because they think they are bodies. The whole culture of body preservation and trying to stop people being sick is a joke. And even in this world the idea of voluntarily going to heaven is illegal and taboo, forcing people to suffer horrible conditions until they "naturally" snuff it.

I know this sounds a bit potentially anti-miraculous but, the hard lesson has actually been to let someone die and to stop fighting it. It was actually less spiritual and much more psychologically unhealthy to believe someone was a body and to be constantly worried for their safety and fearing for their life. What dies is not even a real thing, its not the person, and they cannot die. What dies is a lie, and death is a lie, and the whole basis for avoiding it is a lie.

So now I am much more flippant. Not to say like, okay, go ahead and die on purpose just so you can realize that being in heaven is totally amazing. Because we are still using bodies to learn shit. But in the big picture souls don't give a shit about the body really, they just use them temporarily as learning devices. Then they throw them in the trash. In and of themselves they are worthless junk. They are nothing. They are not people and they are not life.

My view now is much more aligned with my wife's view, seeing from her perspective and from the vantage point of the bigger picture. Souls coming and going, taking on bodies and then discarding them. Not identifying with them. Not falling into the trap of believing they are people, or the nightmare of fear that comes from that. My fear of death has melted because a) dying and going to heaven is wonderful and b) I can't die. Just as my wife can't die.

I've lifted up out of the body-identified body-worshipping death-avoiding culture of the world. Avoidance of death is definitely the same thing as promoting it. Nothing real can be threatened. The whole problem of the world is people believing they are a body and not knowing they are spirit, which results in a nightmare of danger and threat and attack and vulnerability. Then everyone starts barricading themselves in trying to avoid the bad stuff happening, and the sicknesses set in and the people want it to all go away so they can stay in their bodies forever and never go home to God.

I couldn't care less about stuff dying now. It's everywhere and relentless. It's the way of the world, driven by laws of death. Stuff is dead before it's even born. Everything here is guaranteed to end, to rot and decay and turn to dust. So I say, let it. Fuck it all. Who gives a shit about it anyway. It has no effect whatsoever on our reality as spiritual beings. And trying to stop it happening is madness. But what does it matter when an illusion dies? It really means nothing at all. The death of an illusion means nothing.

No-one who believes that bodies dying means something can work miracles. No-one who believes that a person is really sick can work miracles. No-one who believes that death can actually change the sons of God can work miracles. And no-one who fights against it happening can have any power over it. I had to go through the lesson of associating my beliefs in sickness and death with my wife's body, so that as her body died so too did my beliefs in these things.

I failed to raise the dead or to stop sickness happening, and it was the best thing I could've learned. The lesson is that death doesn't matter. But the key is to let death be what it is, because in truth it is not anything. Surrender the fear of death and let it all go, let it all die, and you'll be free from it. And then maybe you'll be ready to be a miracle worker. To surmount death is to transcend it, and you can't do that while you're resisting it. But letting it be also lets it go, and then you can rise above it and have power over it.

"But time, with its illusions of change and death, wears out the world and all things in it."

"But this you do not see; that you made death, and it is but illusion of an end."

"Behold the body, and you will believe that you are there. ⁴And every body that you look upon reminds you of yourself; your sinfulness, your evil and, above all, your death."

"There is a risk of thinking death is peace, because the world equates the body with the Self which God created."

"And fear, denying love and using pain to prove that God is dead, has shown that death is victor over life. ⁷The body is the Son of God, corruptible in death, as mortal as the Father he has slain."

"The “reality” of death is firmly rooted in the belief that God’s Son is a body."

"This is what death should be; a quiet choice, made joyfully and with a sense of peace, because the body has been kindly used to help the Son of God along the way he goes to God. ²We thank the body, then, for all the service it has given us. ³But we are thankful, too, the need is done to walk the world of limits, and to reach the Christ in hidden forms and clearly seen at most in lovely flashes. ⁴Now we can behold Him without blinders, in the light that we have learned to look upon again."

"False healing rests upon the body’s cure, leaving the cause of illness still unchanged, ready to strike again until it brings a cruel death in seeming victory. ²It can be held at bay a little while, and there can be brief respite as it waits to take its vengeance on the Son of God. ³Yet it cannot be overcome until all faith in it has been laid by, and placed upon God’s substitute for evil dreams; a world in which there is no veil of sin to keep it dark and comfortless. ⁴At last the gate of Heaven opens and God’s Son is free to enter in the home that stands ready to welcome him, and was prepared before time was and still but waits for him."

"The “self” that needs protection is not real. ²The body, valueless and hardly worth the least defense, need merely be perceived as quite apart from you, and it becomes a healthy, serviceable instrument through which the mind can operate until its usefulness is over. ³Who would want to keep it when its usefulness is done?"

"From here the body can be seen as what it is, and neither less nor more in worth than the extent to which it can be used to liberate God's Son unto is home."

There is a very fine line between accepting this world and justifying it.

If I am having sickness, or problems, or negative ego thoughts, then something is wrong. It does not matter whether I am accepting these things or not, or whether I'm trying to be at peace in spite of them or not. If these things are happening, something is not right.

There is a significant group of people in ACIM circles who attempt to become "at peace with" everything that happens here. This includes being at peace with sickness, being at peace with death, being at peace with negative thoughts, being at peace with problems and limitations, etc.

There is something to be said for this because, on the one hand, if I resist or block or control or read-into or project onto or manipulate or become attached to something in the world, I am in the ego for sure. When events happen, if I resist them and don't welcome them, I will fight with them. That's not good. If I cannot allow someone the free will to choose whatever they want to experience, even if that means suffering and death, then I will not allow myself the same freedom of will either.

But... and this is a big but, that does not mean, that the goal of the course is to "be okay with" all of these things, to keep these problems, to maintain sickness, to promote peaceful death, or to continue having attack thoughts that we're "not bothered by".

Yes, I am supposed to let go of the world, let go of controlling it, let go of trying to stop people's choices, let go of not allowing etc. That's all good. But when that is equated with.... well, this means that I should not do anything about the world other than transcend it, then this becomes a problem.

Because now I am going to attempt to keep experiencing ego stuff while pretending that I am not. That's actually an act of denial. If I'm still having sickness in the body, something is wrong in my mind. If I am still dying, something is wrong in my mind. If I am still having problems and limitations, something is wrong in my mind. And if I am still having negative ego thoughts or body identified thoughts, there is still something wrong in my mind.

It is not our task to sort of ... get underneath our negative thoughts, or to .... go in back of our ego judgements.... etc. We are not supposed to be becoming "okay" with problems and sickness and death. In a sense we are... we are not meant to be upset by it, but we are not meant to make it real and we're also not meant to choose it. Choosing sickness is an attack. Choosing death is an attack.

So on the one hand, we're to become "at peace with" whatever happens, but at the same time, that peace MUST include not choosing to make bad stuff happen, otherwise we are intellectualizing the truth.

A mind which is in a state of love does not have attack thoughts. A mind in a state of love does not have a sick body. A mind in a state of love does not go through death. A mind in a state of love does not have problems and limitations. A mind in a state of love does not need to a find a way to be "okay with" intolerable bullshit. It may well BE "okay" with it in a sense, but at the same time, it does not choose it, manifest it, create it, maintain it, or make it a reality.

Exactly who is making the body sick when the mind is awake? Who is responsible for that? You are. And if you are, you are not awake.

Exactly who is making attack thoughts show up in the mind, which you are happily trying to transcend and allow to continue happening? Who is thinking them? You are. If you are having attack thoughts you have an ego.

Exactly who is making the body go through death? Who is bringing about the extreme victimhood conditions which are *required* in order for death to take place? You are. If you are dying, you have an ego.

We have to take total responsibility for everything we are experiencing and expressing and causing to happen, including the undoing of all sickness, death, suffering, and ego thoughts. Only the thoughts I think with God - loving thoughts - are real. All the rest is ego and it must go, otherwise I'm hiding in a corner and thinking hate while pretending to think love.

I've been finding an increasing awareness that there are some things we invented which are not God's way.

Sin. Guilt. Fear. Sickness. Suffering. Death.

Mentally I tend to arrange these things into levels, vertically. God is at the top (symbolically in the sky), then below is the separation and sin, then a layer of guilt, then fear, then suffering, then death at the bottom (symbolically buried in the ground).

But the fact is, that all of these layers except the top one, are actually not a part of the top layer at all. All of these other layers are fictional.

And yet the whole word is spinning based on belief in the normality or justifyability of these other ideas.

I used to think, well, I need to undo my guilt and heal my sense of having sinned. But it actually goes further than this.

It's not just about undoing my guilt. It's about undoing the belief that there is any truth to guilt AT ALL, anywhere, for anyone. The entire idea of guilt itself is fictional. It's not just "am I guilty or not?" or "is there guilt in me or not?"... it's more like... is guilt even real, EVER? is it even possible?

I guess in the past I thought, well, if I undo my guilt, then I will not have guilt, but there will still be such a thing as guilt, and other people might still have guilt. But this is not the case.

Instead, I'm bringing into question whether guilt is EVER justified, whether it EVER has a foundation or if it is even supported by God in any way whatsoever.

It's not just that there is such a thing as being guilty and we get to choose whether we are guilty or not. It's more like, God does not believe in guilt AT ALL and has absolutely no place for it, and so the entire fundamental concept is actually make-believe.

That means, I invented. Or, we invented it. We invented the entire concept of being sinful or guilty or afraid, and invented all suffering and sickness and death.

The stark contrast between what is of God, and what is not of God, reveals that if there is any guilt happening, we MUST be doing it to ourselves. If there is any sense of sin, WE must have invented sin in the first place and have now condemned ourselves and are pretending somehow that God shares the sentiment.

It seems actually a kind of blasphemy, in this world's thought system, to suggest that you should NEVER believe in sin or guilt. Society is steeped in it. Duality supports it. Illusions weave stories which justify who sinned and why and explains their worthiness of guilt and punishment.

It's as if we believe there is some universal standard "law" written into the fabric of the universe, that there is such a thing as real sin and guilt, established by God, and set in stone. And since sin and guilt seem real, and therefore are associated with permanence, it's as if to say, no-one in the entire universe can escape this "law". Either you obey the law and stop being sinful, or you are a sinner.

But the truth is, that this so-called law, this assumed "natural" framework for deciding whether you are "guilty or not", or "sinful or not", is not anything to do with God at all.

So now we're in a position where we have to actually withdraw our belief in the "option" of being guilty or not. It means we have to embrace an entirely new idea, a unified idea.

The idea is simply that God is not interested in guilt or sin whatsoever. He does not support it. And in contrast to that, this society is very very twisted and sick in its dedication to this doctrine. Even the idea that you can have a "guilty conscience" or that you are supposed to be well behaved or follow rules or not do bad stuff etc, is part of the story our egotism has invented.

So let's see. You make a mistake, you do something "wrong", and..... you're supposed to be guilty. Nope. You're innocent. Can you hear all of society's combined ego roaring with protest as you suggest that you are innocent when you make mistakes, that you do not deserve punishment, that guilt is never justified, that it is impossible to be condemned of sin, and that God STILL loves you fully and happily regardless of what you think you did?

Or how about, that the idea of it ever being even POSSIBLE to sin or be guilty, is a totally bullshit idea? This is not at all how the world thinks. And because the world has become embedded in my mindset as though "normal" and natural, I have to work to undo this.

I need to recognize that God is not the kind of God that this thought system made Him out to be. God is not a God of judgement or of condemnation, He is not the slightest bit interested in finding ANYONE guilty, He isn't even remotely interested in guilt or sin at ANY time, and to Him the entire idea of sin or guilt is a total joke. He laughs in the face of death, at its sheer ridiculousness, as if it could ever oppose eternal life.

So if God does not believe in sin or guilt or fear or suffering or death, why am I believing in it? It's not just a matter of me healing and removing these attitudes from myself. I must undo the very belief that there even is such a thing a sin or guilt or death. That it even exists. Or has any merit at all. Anywhere. At any time. In relation to anyone.

These are made-up fictional lies which have formed the foundation of a way of life riddled with attack and punishment and suffering. It is a LIE that anyone should ever be guilty.

The aim of guilt is not to establish that someone is guilty. The aim of guilt is to establish that guilt ITSELF is permanent law and is not to ever be questioned.

The aim of sin similarly is not so much to establish who is or who is not sinful. It's to establish that sinfulness ITSELF is supposedly reality and truth and a law by which all things are judged (by God), should never be questioned and is a valid way to evaluate what something is or isn't.

Fear does the same thing. It distracts all attention away from ITSELF, projecting attention outward and onto other things, so that you'll be in a mode where you're asking yourself, whether you are "afraid or not". It's not a question of whether you are afraid or not. It's a matter of fear being a lie in the first place, fear being impossible, and that buying into the belief that you even CAN or SHOULD be afraid is the real problem.

We're just accepted these things like permanent laws. Somewhere on a mountain sits the God of sin, the God of guilt, and the God of fear, all "real", all used as references to determine whether anyone is sinning or guilty or fearing or not. Woebetide anyone who might question whether any of these Gods are valid at all. Who would question their reality?

If sin is real, then all the others are real too. It's not a matter of... have I sinned or not. Once you're playing that game you've already assumed the fundamental error, that sin is even possible. And this is what has to be undone now. Not just whether you sinned, but whether sin is even possible in the first place. Whether you can even BE guilty in the eyes of truth.

And as it turns out, God has absolutely no interest in and nothing to do with sin or guilt or fear or suffering or sickness or death. Absolutely no interest at all. These things play NO PART in Heaven. They do not exist. So all these beliefs that we have about them existing or being the measure of character or something that keeps you in check or modifies your behavior or whatever. It's all bullshit.

We have to undo the belief that it's even possible to sin at all. Which means questioning this and giving up this belief, even if everyone else on the planet still insists on believing in it, and realizing that to be with God does NOT entail being "sinless". It entails accepting that you CANNOT sin, you have not sinned, and sin ITSELF is a lie.

Believing in sin and trying not to sin has made sin real which means YOU ARE a sinner regardless of how well behaved you are. It's not your guilt or guiltlessness that's a problem. It's that you believe in guilt AT ALL. God does not believe in guilt. God does not believe in sin. Even when we think that we are SUPPOSED to be guilty or that we HAVE sinned, we have to question THAT, because that is a lie, and it takes some undoing of this belief in our minds to let go ENTIRELY of what is merely a CONCEPT of sinfulness being possible.

Isn't it freeing to know that God does not include sin? That God sees you ONLY as holy and innocent? That all stories about real sin and justified guilt are part of the EGO, NOT part of the laws of reality? Isn't it good to know, that not only are you sinless, but that sin ITSELF is an impossible lie, that it applies to NO ONE and it is NEVER justified?

It literally means now that no matter what you are doing, if you are inclined to feel guilty about doing it, you are going to have to learn to question that. And you are going to resist that, and in fact you are going to feel like you're being even MORE sinful when you question the validity of being guilty for what you've done. It will seem to suggest that if you do this thing WITHOUT GUILT, that you are somehow MORE guilty and evil. That's how the ego thinks.

But the truth is, that your use of this thing to make you guilty was a lie in the first place. It does not prove you are guilty. It does not mean you are sinful. It does not justify condemnation. It calls for FORGIVENESS - the recognition that THERE IS NO SIN, and that you HAVE NOT sinned. To tell yourself and believe it, that you have not sinned, when you do something that you feel guilty or ashamed or sinful about, is quite challenging. Surely God finds this guilty? Surely God would say, you shouldn't be doing this you guilty little fucker? NO.

God finds you worthy of love and does not see sin or guilty in ANYTHING. We need to learn to see ourselves in the same light.

Only the truth is true. Only love is real.

I have made a pretty big mistake with ACIM, and maybe you are doing the same. Sorry this is a bit long and rambly, I'm still coming to terms with it....

I always believed that the goal in ACIM was awakening to the awareness of God's presence, which was some kind of a singular state of being. As I read and worked with the Course it at first seemed plausible that every reference to 'what truth is like', or the high-level metaphysics, all described a single absolute state of being/mind.

I felt confused by some of the interpretations of this that other people were expressing because it seemed there was a level of truth deeper or 'more true' than what most other people were understanding. So I felt I needed to go deeper into re-reading it and re-learning what it has to say. So I started reading the urtext. And I actually learned a lot, much of which made me question what the status quo understanding was on many topics. I polished and refined my grasp of what the truth really meant, all still within this idea of 'there is only one kind of awakening', like, either you are totally doing it perfectly or you're kidding yourself.

I even saw how some people who claim to be awake were still falling short of what I believed that should really entail. I always felt a certain faith in Jesus and his example, and never could see anyone matching up to that. Yet I felt that in the Course it does directly speak to the kind of total mastery that he demonstrated. This included the ability to heal all sickness, raise the dead, have total mastery over illusions, be capable of changing form, of appearing as any kind of a body, absolute invulnerability (literally), not dying simply because you choose not to etc. I had Jesus practically flying around the room.

The thing is, all of the metaphysics in ACIM seemed to point to this potential and it made total logical sense to me that we "should" be able to wield total power over all illusions. Just like Jesus. So I had in my mind this kind of very high-level 'goal', which was very lofty, which I thought we were meant to strive to achieve. That was my idea of what it means to be fully awake, and anything short of that was not it. I felt frustrated that some people were saying they were awake and yet were clearly not demonstrating Jesus's level of mastery, and so of course that led to judgement but also confusion. Why was the Course saying one thing and then other things were happening? Why were people not matching up to Jesus's level and how is it possible there (obviously) has been an awakening of some kind in some people and yet they still can't raise the dead? The Course clearly spoke of some extremely high-level truths and implications which nobody seemed to be getting.

Well. As it turns out, the Course actually encompasses several "levels" of metaphysics. I had no idea of this, so I was always lumping everything together as a kind of super-level and then trying to attain that. I had no idea about this until Michael Murray started to bring forward this information about "the levels", or rather, the timing of me stumbling upon his videos and being ready to listen. Basically, there is much more going on than it appears, and without this extra information you'll make the huge mistakes I've made.

In very brief summary... this physical universe is only one of several levels or dimensions of the dream of separation. These dimensions are all states of mind but they also, to our senses, appear to be 'places' which have entire universes of their own. The physical universe is the lowest level. Above this there is a "spiritual universe" which is also the level at which the Holy Spirit resides. You might've heard it referred to also as the astral plane or similar. These levels are btw somewhat referred to in Hinduism and some other religions and you might be more familiar with them if you are "new age". Anyway.. above "level 2" the Holy Spirit's mind, there is a level 3 where our "higher self" resides, and also this is where angels seem to exist, the akashic records, and also this is where "the sonship" is - as separate higher selves. Above this level there is a fourth level which is the level of Christ where the sonship is ONE. Jesus 'the higher self' was the first to transcend the previous level and unify as Christ. Then above this level is Heaven - God.

Ok so... here's what I did totally wrong and this is where my spiritualizing ego got totally screwed up, and this is also probably where you are doing the same. Clearly, because there are levels to the dream beyond the physical, there are effectively different levels of awakening. This also means there are different levels of 'capability' and mastery (someone at level 3 does not have mastery over level 3 because to do that you must be on level 4). Also because of these levels, there are certain "capabilities" that are only possible at certain levels and there are certain 'parts' of the Course that are directly related to certain levels, e.g. the 'real world 'is a very high level thing (and nothing to do with the physical world). This also reveals that the Course itself 'speaks' on many different levels, in other words, in relation to different dimensions of the dream and different universes where the experience is on a whole different level. Truths which apply on one level totally superceded stuff on the levels below, so as we ASSUME that all of this is just ONE BIG LEVEL, or 'the one goal', we get really messed up and confused about what's being asked of us.

Also because of these levels, typically in order to go "up" the levels you need to go in sequence. You can't just jump to the 5th level or just pop into heaven when you're still down at level 1. And pretty much most of us are on level 1, me included. So here's the huge mistake I made.

In assuming there were no levels, and lumping them all together, and in becoming aware of the Christ-level truths in the Course, I created for myself an extremely lofty Christ-level goal, comparable to Jesus. Because I can see the parts of the Course which DO speak of/from this level (all of the course comes from the Christ level but speaks OF or as-if from other levels also), this 'highest truth' level became my concept of "the only level" or "what awakening means".

So I was basically down here on level 1, with my big ego, and trying to BYPASS all the way up to the Christ level in one straight shot. I wanted to embody and encompass ALL of the characteristics of Christ, in a kind of all-or nothing grand-master-of-the-universe power-over-everything ultra-mastery i-can-fly-around-the-room-if-i-like-and-there's-nothing-you-can-do-about-it sort of ideal. Anything short of this was "not good enough". So now I had this hugely lofty "should" or how I am supposed to be, or what I'm supposed to get to, or what I need to realize etc. And this also included this HUGE burden of 'what I am responsible for'... as if I caused the entire universe and everything in it, all by my little ego level-1 self, which is NOT true.

Having this extremely lofty goal of "be Christ", bypassing all of the levels that are REQUIRED to go THROUGH in order to get there, put an ENORMOUS BURDEN on my shoulders. A huge weight of guilt at falling short and not even barely being able to accomplish it. And believe me I tried, really hard. I even attained some small ability to bring about healing through Holy Spirit, some of the time, in small amounts. And I KNEW that the parts of the Course that speak of the Christ-level were true. So this kept me dangling from a thread, chasing after this carrot of perfection and power, but falling way short. All this did was put PRESSURE on me (and my wife) to match up to this enormous responsibility which is far beyond what 'I' (level 1 me) am actually capable of. Yes my Christ self IS capable of such things, but that's way above where I'm at or can even GET TO or ACCESS from where I'm at.

The truth is that we are only really capable of going from level 1 to level 2. The first awakening. Some people bypass this and jump to level 3 but only in extreme rare circumstances. The rest of us can only, and are only really asked to, go from level 1 to level 2, which in Course terms meaning letting go of the persona and shadow and aligning with Holy Spirit's mind and letting go of the *physical* world level. This lets us be in the "spiritual universe", or to move up from there. But we can't just jump to the top, especially not WITH the ego. And that's what we're all trying to do - a huge spiritual bypass in which our ego gets to try to be Christ.

So this is a blow to the ego. Here's little me down in level 1 world believing that I'm oh-so-spiritual, advanced, getting ready to graduate, believing that I'm more spiritual than others, and finding out that I actually am probably on this level BECAUSE I am still on level 1. Hah. Not level 2 or 3 or 4 or 5... level 1. Sucks! lol ... BUT the freedom comes from this realization..... you don't need to try to be Christ. You don't need to even try to be the higher self or to jump up to that level. You ONLY need to get to level 2 - the Holy Spirit's mind. So this somewhat lets you off the hook.

It means that you can drop all of huge expectation that you're putting on yourself to be Christ-like. It means you can stop trying to raise the dead or expect yourself to be able to. I have to tell you, I recently got a 'sty' in my eye and it was sort of infected and stuff, unsightly and uncomfortable, and I really dug DEEP into possible causes and unforgivenesses in attempt to heal it, because I was really convinced I was SUPPOSED to be able to just 'make it go away' with my mind. I did some healing, yes, but the dam fucker did not change. It didn't just disappear. So this was a blow to the spiritual ego, which thought it had to be Jesus-like or that it could. And I had to accept I just cant do that. Fuck it.

But this is really a relief. It's a huge relief to realize that you do not have to "try" to be christ. You do not have to be responsible for stuff that is in "the script" - a script written by and powered by a mind far huger than yours is now. You don't have to try to be this dead-raising master. You don't have to turn water into wine or be some extraordinary guru. You're not capable of that until probably the 5th dimensional awakening. You don't have to blame yourself for all the shit that comes from the unconscious mind that you are not consciously choosing, as if it's all your fault. You don't have to own every single little thing that happens as if, just by it happening, it proves that you SUCK and that you're a total course failure. You don't have to keep beating yourself up for "not doing the course right" ie not matching up to the kind of capabilities that you pretty much CANNOT accomplish until you ARE at the Christ level, which is not going to happen until you've at least gone through 2 or 3 other levels of awakening.

So there's all this huge weight of guilt and expectation that we've all been putting on ourselves because we're all trying to live up to this extraordinary goal of being Christ when, in fact, from this level 1, we can only really be expected to get to level 2. It's true that there is no world and its just a dream and that the Christ mind can create planets... ok... but little me, little you... at level 1, no, there isn't going to be any planets getting made. So that's not something you can be responsible for. We have this hugely inflated spiritual ego (ok, speaking for myself, but I bet you do too) that's trying to claim the "power" of being Christ while still being very limited and incapable.

We have to stop putting level 3/4/5+ realities and responsibilities and powers onto our shoulders as level 1 ego folks and stop expecting ourselves to live up to this hugely lofty standard. WE have to accept that we are NOT at the level of Jesus and probably very few people are going to be. We have to accept that even the best of the best of the ACIM teachers aren't even at that level. Not even the enlightened gurus and yogis necessarily at that level. All we need to do is do our SIMPLE job of forgiveness and development of trust in Holy Spirit and come into his mind and accept his truth and his way of perceiving. The other levels and the potency and power of those other levels will follow on from there naturally as the 'next steps'. But we can't just bypass and jump to those steps. And we have to admit we've been doing this, our spiritualized egos are about to POP, and we can take a big sigh of relief that we're NOT supposed to expect such huge things of ourselves.

This should relieve us of all the guilt, all the sense of failure, all of the exasperation at not getting it, all of the fear and guilt and frustration that we have to accomplish Christ-level capabilities otherwise we're going to die, etc. We have to strip it all back. Let go of the highest goals. Focus on the NEXT step which is just getting to level 2 - Holy Spirit's level, and letting go of the idea that our LEVEL 1 EGO is EVER going to be capable of being at the Christ level, LET ALONE even level 2. And yet it's trying. It's been trying hard this whole time to live up to some kind of universe-creating mega goal. It loves to. Even though it's a total failure at it. So we can at least admit, we don't have to think of ourselves as total failures any more because we were never meant to be level-5 ego's to begin with.

All this comes from the clarity that the Course contains levels, that we're on level 1 trying to get to level 2, and that everything else is irrelevant. Yes at some point we will create planets but not today. First things first. One step at a time. We're getting ahead of ourselves and our expectation and fear of not being able to match up to the high-level truths is, thankfully, not even being asked of us right now.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

In ACIM, mistakenness is not the same thing as how the world generally thinks of it. If you go into the women's toilet instead of the men's, it could be a mistake. A mistaken action. If you pick up the wrong set of keys, it could be a mistake. If you leave your lunch box at the workplace, it could be a mistake. Something you intended that sort of went wrong somehow.

You could then try to turn these mistakes into sins and say that the person is guilty for going into the wrong bathroom, or a bad person for forgetting the proper keys, or stupid for leaving their lunch at work. But a "forgiving" reframing of this that says like "oh well they just made a mistake because they were supposed to go into the other toilet", isn't forgiveness. It just recognizes a horizontal worldly error within this system.

Forgiveness is higher than this. True mistakenness is a recognition on a vertical axis. It's a view from above, from a mindset of sanity and truth and light. It looks down and sees something impossible, something which cannot be true, and recognizes it as not true or real. Something false. Like a lie. And because it recognizes it as untrue, it is not attracted to it, and it doesn't turn it into something to be punished for. Instead it recognizes that the error just needs to be corrected. It was just a mistaken view, a mistaken belief, which can't be true, and the mind needs to be restored to the truth.

So if in the world, say, we take something that someone is believing or doing, based on a mistake. Let's say that they're having a sickness and coughing all over everyone. You could take this mistake and turn it into a sin. Sin does the opposite of see correctable errors, and sin doesn't recognize a mistake AS a mistake. Instead it thinks of it as a TRUTH, as something real and valid, and actual. The person really is coughing all over the other real people, how horrible. What a sinner.

To move to forgiveness then, we need to shift away from "it's a sin" to "it's a mistake". But not in worldly terms. Not in social preferences or rules about how to act around people or other made up stuff. True mistakenness would recognize that a) the person is not a body even if they think they are b) they are not really sick because they are immortal c) no-one is really suffering d) contagion is a lie e) nothing real can be threatened etc... that sort of thing. In effect that ... this whole show, this body person, this coughing, this spewing, is all FALSE. It isn't true, it isn't happening, it isn't POSSIBLE in God.

If we can see that this event isn't possible, is false, isn't true of the person, they are not really doing it, its having no effect, etc, then we can recognize that the person is in a sate of insanity and is just simply mistaken about how and what they are. They're showing a lie. They're trying to convince you sin is taking place. It isn't. We recognize there are just a bit insane, a bit mistaken, calling for love, in need of healing and correction. None of what they are doing is possible, none of it is true, none of it is happening but in a dream.

That's the kind of mistakenness that the Holy Spirt recognizes. He sees errors and does not mistaken them for sins. The ego on the other hand tries to take mistakenness and hold it against people, narrows down to focus on it, judges it, makes it out to be TRUE, believe it is HAPPENING, believes it is POSSIBLE, and is HAVING EFFECTS ... and that's all basically a definition of "sin". The idea of an attack which can have real consequences against real things.

"Into eternity, where all is one, there crept a tiny, mad idea, at which the Son of God remembered not to laugh. In his forgetting did the thought become a serious idea, and possible of both accomplishment and real effects." UrT27I6

It's kind of all about recognition. If you recognize what is possible and true in God, then you recognize when someone is MISTAKEN. Their mistakenness calls for correction not punishment. You recognize what they are presenting is NOT POSSIBLE, and can't be true, so is not actual or real. So you can't hold it against them.

If you FAIL to recognize that the person is just mistaken or "being false", you make another mistake, by mistaking a mistake for NOT a mistake..... you turn the mistake or falseness into a TRUTH, and now because it is true it seems REAL to you. Or like a fact. The person really is coughing all over everyone. The person really did go into the wrong bathroom. The person really did leave their lunch at work for the 5th time.

"The Holy Spirit CANNOT punish sin. Mistakes He recognizes, and would correct them all, as God entrusted Him to do. But SIN He knows not, nor can He RECOGNIZE mistakes that cannot be corrected. For a mistake that cannot be corrected is MEANINGLESS to Him. Mistakes are FOR correction. They call for NOTHING ELSE." UrT19D4

Largely such mistakes are easy to mistake for sins, rooted in physical stuff. All the things we do with the body, all the things in the world, are all IMPOSSIBLE. ... and they present temptations, and illusions that you can do things which CANNOT BE TRUE in God, such as being sick. If you take those illusions AS TRUTH, you believe they are real, and now the physical act is interpreted as a sin. You lock it in place as though it can't be reversed or forgiven. And now in unforgiveness you "accuse" the person of "really doing this", and justifying punishment. Who moved my cheese?!

So basically we have a mind full of illusions and insanity which is just a state of making a lot of mistakes and believing untrue stuff. That only calls for correction. But if you take that stuff and do not recognize it and do not realize it is untrue, you will MISTAKE IT for truth and now it becomes SIN. As though you're really doing it. That's the little shift the ego insanity makes. That little shift from "it's just an illusion" to "taking that illusion seriously because you're actually really doing it." Ego grabs ahold of mistakes and corrupts them into punishable acts of evil. As if you intended it on purpose.

We are just mistaken. And we are mistaken about being mistaken. And when we lift away the mistakenness about being mistaken, we'll recognize we are mistaken, and then stop being mistaken. And that is forgiving.

The simple change that must occur in order to wake up to reality, is a change in premise. If the premise is that this world (earth etc) is real, then everything that happens in the world is real, and is God's will. Because God is the author of reality.

So now everything you see in the world is real and cannot be undone, and cannot be forgiven, and sin is real and death is real and there is no escape from hell. Or more to the point, murder is no longer a sin but is God's blessing.

But if the premise changes from "this world is real" to "this world is a dream", ie is not real, then this changes the entire perspective on the world and what seems to happen in it. EVERYTHING in the world now must take on a new meaning in light of this information, because if the world is NOT real, it changes your ENTIRE relationship to it.

All events ultimately are therefore nowhere, the changes wrought are substanceless, nothing is really causing anything, there is no meaning in the world of itself, it is all just a dream, the whole planet is an illusion, nothing is really being hurt or attacked, all sickness is a lie, death is impossible, and there isn't even really a world here.

That is the simple change in vantage point which ACIM and any spiritual path entails. Ultimately it leads to the simple recognition that only God's reality is real, and this world is NOT God's reality. This world is a dream in which imaginary figures seem to come and go and try to destroy each other. Where lovely illusions come to soften the blow of death, and where everything turns into something it is not.

Either the world is real, or it isn't. If it is real, it cannot be changed or undone, or forgiven or overlooked. You are then required to love death and murder, to look on war as justified and attack as healing. All of hell seems to be heaven to you, as you use it to avoid God and to hide from sanity. If the world is real, God himself ordains its every property, all happenings are his doing, and there is nowhere else to go.

But fortunately the world is not God's doing, nor does it represent him, nor is it anything like him. Fortunately when your mind fully reframes the world as "this is just a dream", it changes the ENTIRE context of the WHOLE universe in which you think you live.

If it is just a dream, nothing here really matters, nothing is really any more difficult or easy than anything else, nothing really means anything more or less than anything else, all senses of separation and difference are illusions, the very form of objects is a fantasy disguise pretending that it is not the same as something else, and everything your body sees is not really there.

It ultimately and simply leads to the fact that there is no world. A world which is just a dream isn't really a world. It's an illusion of a world, held in a mind that is seeming to be asleep a while. When that mind awakens, it does not awaken to the world it was already dreaming of, it stops dreaming it entirely and awakens to God's reality of heaven.

There is really no world here because the world is not real. Anything you take seriously in the world is deception. Any time you buy into it you are falling for temptation. Any time you think someone is a body and refer to their body as their self, you do not see them. Bodies are illusions of life which are not even really alive, or really anything. Everything in a dream world is literally NOTHING pretending to be something.

All things in this world are impossible. It was made to be impossible. There is no permanent solution to anything. There is no escape from problems. There is an endless barrage of attack and strife. Death is waiting inevitably for every single thing that thinks it lives. And everything in the entire cosmos eventually destroys itself. There is no salvation here, no freedom, no real safety, and nothing to gain. It is a tired old world that was ready to rot as soon as you dreamed of living like a mortal.

In truth you are an immortal being in heaven who is simply asleep at the wheel, dreaming of being not mortal. Of being not yourself, being opposite to your God-given nature, pretending to be things you are not, believing false truths, and trying to GIVE reality to a world that isn't real. To a premise that isn't real. A premise that God is dead and you can make of yourself what you will. None of that is possible or true beacuse God means permanence.

There is no world, there is no sickness, there is no suffering, there is no pain, there is no death, there is no cancer, there is no heart disease, there is no war, there is no torture, there is no abuse, there is no attack, there is no sin, there is no guilt, there is no fear, there is no difference, there are no races, there is no earth, there is no solar system, there are no galaxies, there is no sun, there is nothing here whatsoever.

"There IS no life outside of Heaven. Where God created life, there life must be. In ANY state apart from Heaven, life is illusion. At best, it SEEMS like life; at worst, like death. Yet both are judgments on what is NOT life, equal in their inaccuracy and lack of meaning. Life not in Heaven is impossible, and what is NOT in Heaven is not ANYWHERE. Outside of Heaven, only the conflict of illusions stands; senseless, impossible, and beyond ALL reason, and yet perceived as an eternal BARRIER to Heaven. Illusions ARE but forms. Their content is NEVER true."

"The miracle establishes you dream a dream, and that its content is not true. This is a crucial step in dealing with illusions. No-one is AFRAID of them, when he perceives HE MADE THEM UP. The fear was held in place BECAUSE he did not see that he was AUTHOR of the dream, and not a figure IN the dream. He gives HIMSELF the consequences that he dreams he gave his brother. And it is but this the dream has put together and has offered him, to show him that his wishes have been done. Thus does he fear his OWN attack, but sees it at another's hands. As victim, he is suffering from its effects, but NOT their cause. He authored NOT his own attack, and he is innocent of what he caused."

"The world you see is an illusion of a world, God did not create it, for what He creates must be eternal as Himself."

1. God is permanent. Earth is not. Earth will end.

2. God is eternal. Earth is not. Earth does not last forever.

3. God can only create by extending himself, and so whatever He creates has to be LIKE Himself in EVERY way, having extended from His own nature. For God to create Earth, God has to be a planet.

4. God, being eternal, never changes. He is changeless. And everything He creates CANNOT change. Earth changes all the time and at NO TIME has a permanent identity.

5. God is eternity, in which there is no time, because there is no beginning or end. He is everywhere at once. In God, there is no space or time. Earth 100% relies on the seeming existence of space and time without which it cannot show up as a 3D planet. And spacetime is just a belief.

6. Nothing God creates can ever be sick or decay or die. Nothing real can be threatened. Everything real last forever. On Earth, everything is sick, decaying and dying.

7. God can only create ONE Kingdom or world. That world has to mirror His nature. Earth, is opposite to Heaven in every way, and God would have to have a contradictory split mind in order to produce TWO DIFFERENT worlds. "Earth, Heaven's opposite in every way."

8. In God's perfect extension, He can only create like Himself, and so creates CREATORS, who in turn have the ability to create like God. Everything on Earth CANNOT CREATE, cannot pass down all of its own qualities and abilities, and everything on Earth is a dead end.

9. Knowledge is only possible in God, where there is no perception, and nothing to perceive. Earth requires perception in order to see it, and without a body it cannot be experienced. "To sense is not to know", and the body is a sensor. Knowledge is not possible in a body. "You cannot remain in this world with this knowledge." It requires the end of perception, and the end of the body.

10. Immortality is God's nature. Nothing real can be threatened, attacked, changed or hurt. Everything about Earth can be threatened, attacked, changed and hurt. It cannot be real.

11. Because God creates/extends only Himself, in His likeness, everything He creates is equal and identical. There is no difference between any Son of God. On Earth, everything is different, unequal, there is no harmony and therefore inherent war.

12. Life means eternal life, that which is sustained forever. God sustains it forever by His permanent will that there be eternal life. Real life never ends. On Earth, all life has a non-existence, followed by an illusion of a beginning, followed by illusory suffering, followed by an illusory death, followed by a non-existence. That is not eternal life.

13. God, being forever, is always the same. Eternity is always the same. It never changes. Time, is the idea that nothing is EVER the same, and everything always changes. It is totally opposite to eternity. Earth, governed by time, is never the same and always changing. Earth is not eternal.

14. God creates only the perfect, being perfect, and creates them perfectly. This perfection is flawless, has no damage, no imperfections, no lack, nothing missing, no corruption or limitation. Everything on Earth is flawed, damaged, imperfect, lacking, missing something, and severely limited.

15. Holiness is a quality and condition possible only in the Kingdom. Holiness comes from wholeness. In God, who is whole, He creates wholes, who create wholes. Wholeness only begets wholeness. On Earth, nothing is whole, because everything lacks what everything else has. This is what makes all thing unique and different. The world cannot be holy.

16. Only the truth of God is true. And God is everywhere. This is why love has no opposite. There is nowhere for an opposite to exist. That which is false is unreal and nothing unreal exists. Earth is opposite to truth, being an illusion which attempts to oppose reality. Everything about it is false. This is why it doesn't exist.

17. In God, there is only love. The extension of God's likeness produces the Golden Rule. What is true of one Son is true of all others. What applies to one, applies to both. Earth is an attempt to break this law, by making it seem possible that what applies to one thing does not apply to another. That you can cause, and escape the effects. That something can be true of another and not you. This is the idea of getting away with murder. Earth is the idea of the crucifixion of God's Son. "The world was made as a picture of the crucifixion of God's Son." The planet is murderous.

18. Life in God is eternal. It is real. Life means eternal life, life without end. Everything in the Kingdom has eternal life. That which does not last forever is the idea of death. That which can be attacked is the idea of death. "The world was made as an attack on God." "Without the idea of death there is no world." Earth is the idea of death, a dream of death, and is not life. "An illusion of life at best, at worst, death." Earth is not alive or dead, it is nothing.

19. The world God "projected" ie extended or created, is the Sonship. God's ONE SON, is God's ONE CREATION. The Son, is God's world. "You are the Kingdom of Heaven." "We are creation, WE, the sons of God". When the son sleeps, God creates the Holy Spirit. This forms the TRINITY. God never creates ANYTHING ELSE. Father, Sonship an Holy Spirit are all that exist. There is no Earth in this equation.

20. God's world is reality. The Kingdom is real. Because it is permanent and never changes. Anything as an alternative to reality must be unreality, or illusion. Another word for illusion is dream, and all dreams are dreams of opposition to life. "Death is the central dream from which all illusions stem." Even "the real world" is an illusion of death. Illusions are not eternal life. Every part of the dream, does not exist in reality. No part of the dream is created by God. God is not a dreamer. When the dreamer (sons) wakes up, the entire dream content vanishes, having never existed. Earth is a dream world. There is no Earth in Reality, and Earth will vanish BECAUSE it is not really there. "Illusions recognized must disappear." "The world will spin into the nothingness from which it came." "There is no world."