Why do 'lessons' show up in your life as negative, unwanted, like things are going wrong, or something bad is happening?

Whatever your current beliefs are, your idea of truth is what you think of as 100% true. If there is anything that happens that seems to agree with these beliefs, you see those things as truth. You welcome them, see them as an ally, experience them as wanted and desirable. They reinforce your belief and confirm or provide evidence that your belief is the truth.

Even if something bad happens, let's say that you have a belief that you are unworthy of love. You will create in your life an experience where someone is mistreating you perhaps. But at first you won't really be able to see that this person is doing that, instead you'll believe that they are treating you how you are supposed to be treated, because you agree that you are unworthy. In contrast, if someone comes along and loves you unconditionally, you will recoil and attack them, certain that they are lying to you, deceiving you, and must have some secret ulterior motive. Your belief in suffering does not and cannot understand a healing presence.

So like any thought system or belief, whatever agrees with your belief you will experience as welcome and true, and anything that seems to be against your belief you will experience like it is your worst enemy. You will see everything 'false' in them and will reject them. This has nothing to do with whether they are actually the Real Truth or not, and hinges entirely around what you believe the truth is.

So now because you have a false belief, there is something that you believe falsely and so you are in need of 'learning' what the real truth is. It wouldn't really be helpful to you to send you a situation or event or person who simply exactly mirrors your own false belief, because you would see that as highly agreeable, as proof that what you believe is true. You would welcome them and learn nothing from them.

In the interests of your spiritual growth and awakening, it serves you to, instead, be given events and situations and people who seem to represent a Real Truth, or who 'carry a potential' to teach you a Real Truth, so that you will be challenged. When they show up, however, you will initially believe they fall into your 'false' category, you'll experience them as though they're your enemy, or exactly what you don't want, or you didn't ask for this, or you hate it when this happens etc. You do not yet recognize the opportunity or the benefit that's hiding in the presence of this thing. You don't recognize it AS a bringer of truth, so you think it's just there to piss you off.

Each thing that shows up in your life, that seems to be what you don't want, is put there by arrangement to help you awaken. But that means that you're going to have to go through some kind of transformation of your perspective. Your idea of truth is going to have to be challenged. It is directly challenged by what you think of as intolerably false, showing up and being *experienced* by you as unwanted, because of what you currently believe you want. You will hate and reject it and wish it weren't happening and like it's unfair and everything sucks. But, this thing, whatever it is, is actually there as your savior, attempting to help you to awaken to a shift in allegiance, from what is Truly false, to what is Truly True.

So this thing will trigger off and push your buttons and disturb your sense of status quo. It will put a crow bar in your resistance to Truth and leverage it to try to open you up. And often this happens because the thing that comes along to bother you practically 'forces' you to have to change your perspective, in order to deal with that stimuli.

For example, perhaps someone close to you becomes sick and you absolutely can't stand the fact this is happening, and it keeps triggering you, and you get upset about it a lot. Obviously this is very upsetting as though some curse has come upon your life. BUT, over the course of time, you will find that, if you are working some program of purification, healing and honesty, that this thing is triggering you only because you've got some kind of false belief or unhealed pain stuck in your awareness that needs to change.

The stimuli triggers that pain and it keeps coming up, so if you keep trying to make it go away, or if you keep trying to fix the seeming cause of the trigger - the other person or event - you are actually avoiding learning the lesson. And you WILL have this resistance to some extent especially at the beginning. Nobody in their right mind who believes they know what the truth is, would accept and not reject something that appears to be completely false. It's just that we're very mistaken about what its actually true and false.

Over time, in this example, you might come to realize that in order to not be upset and triggered, YOU need to change something about yourself. You need healing, correction, light, and a higher truth. You need to, and are often forced to, confront your own inner mental condition and belief system and bring it into question. You might even have to get down on your knees and be pleading with God before you become willing to surrender your false view of reality. But eventually, it will transform you and you will come to realize a greater truth, and you will actually let go of your false belief, and you will open up to a higher level of functioning that you never thought you were even capable of. You will find an unconditional love that you never thought you were capable of. And this was what the challenge came to give to you.

It's not until this so-called 'problem' has finished transforming you, or has 'completed the mission' that it has to stimulate your errors and to get you to look at and transform your false ATTITUDE, that it will be 'done with'. It's actually there to help you wake up, but it definitely doesn't look like this at first. It can take some time. And if you ask Holy Spirit for guidance along the way He might tell you, this is a lesson. And it's not as though the answer to the lesson is being concealed from you or made to be especially hard to 'get'... and many times you'll find yourself saying "I just don't get it!" "what am I supposed to be learning here?!".... it's just that, you need to be transformed by the situation and the transformation isn't quite complete yet. And whatever it is supposed to provoke in you, or push out of you, or get you to question, or however it's meant to open your heart or deepen your unconditionality, it has to DO that and finish doing that before the lesson is learned.

So let's say, someone comes along into your life with an attacking angry attitude. Maybe they accuse you of stuff. They seem like your enemy. They hate you. This provokes and upset you a lot and you seem victimized. You may find it unacceptable to allow them to be this way. And you may find yourself angry and having reactions and being triggered, because you believe deep down some of what they're saying. And maybe it takes time for you to realize and heal those deep-down beliefs that you have. And maybe you'll find yourself admitting, I just can't love this person.. there is just no way I can forgive and love them, I am very limited in my love.

And then if you STICK WITH IT, and persevere with learning, you will actually become willing to DIG EVEN DEEPER to find even more love and patience and unconditionality, such that you thought perhaps you could never access. And so you 'learn' how to love and forgive this person, not necessarily for their benefit, but so that YOU learn to receive and express unconditional love in the face of what appears to be an attack. And this is a GIFT that is hard-won, and this is what the attacking person was trying to GIVE you, through their role play.

So then after you've got past all the victimhood and 'why me' crap, you come to realize, the person has helped you. The person actually forced you to grow and to become more forgiving or loving or whatever. You actually gained in strength, you grew in patience, your heart opened. And that is what you needed to LEARN from this lesson. And then you can be grateful that this person came along to provoke the shit out of you, because now, on a spiritual level, you can recognize that what appeared at first to be the exact opposite of your truth, has transformed your truth to where you can now SEE, that this person is actually welcome, lovable, acceptable, forgiven - i.e. you now see Real Truth where you once saw something false.

This is why shit happens. We only see it as shit because we don't yet realize how it is not only helping us to wake up, but it is also a gift and blessing, in the bigger picture, disguised as something unwanted. It's important not to try to get rid of your lessons, or other people's lessons, or 'bad stuff', if it's meant to be there to transform you. This is not to say you have to suffer, but IF you need to grow, sometimes you need a catalist to coerce you into that growth. Into awakening. And eventually you will be grateful for every 'bad thing' that ever happened. And you can even then be grateful for what we call 'the ego', for having supplied us with every opportunity for awakening. This is how the Holy Spirit USES everything for His purposes.

Eventually it is the end of victimhood when we learn everything about the Real Truth that we need to experience it constantly. Thank you God for that.

"No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision."

"The miracle is proof he is not bound by loss or suffering in any form, because it can so easily be changed."

"I am in the likeness of my Creator. I cannot suffer I cannot experience loss and I cannot die. I am not a body. Love created me like Itself."

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Grief from a loss can be very, very difficult to deal with. I've personally had to go through a ton of it. 18 years ago I left my home country of England and immigrated to the USA.

This entailed a significant sense of loss in ways I never imagined and was just horrendous to go through producing massive amounts of tears over a span of several years. Some of the losses included:

Loss of family - not being around them or able to be around them, even on holidays. Not being able to travel easily to see them. Not a single member of my family was at our wedding or any other event. Although no-one literally died, it was as though they all had. Actually just even writing that just now has brought me to tears again.

Loss of culture - not being immersed in the culture and not even realizing it was a culture. Being surrounded by a completely alien environment where no-one even speaks your language or sounds like you, where there are no recognizable holidays or shared events, with no familiar social cues, no familiar traditions, sense of dress code, or anything. Top this off by being surrounded by an entire country that celebrates things you have no familiarity with or sense of identification with, and it adds up to even more alienation.

Loss of familiar forms - an entirely different set of foods, brands, products, money, buildings that are completely different in design, traffic laws totally flipped around, extremely different weather, totally different tv shows, clothing, standards, a different style of working, all new holidays, etc. Not to mention the loss of a sense of "home" or belonging or fitting in or being part of anything.

Loss of identity - I assumed that so much of what made me "me" was inherent to me. It was not. It was inherent to the country and culture. Once I was outside of it it brought into question who I even am, what is truly "mine" and what was just something I inherited or assumed as part of "normality". My whole sense of self was shaken to the core and transformed. I grieved even for who I used to be.

Each year various thing would trigger me off. Especially holidays, birthdays, christmas, and even American holidays which were celebrated en masse but which I could not relate to, making me feel deeply left out in a whole other way. Christmas was a nightmare. The first sign of decorations or snow or holiday jingles would immediately trigger 2 months of hell. Sometimes I felt powerfully compelled to just run away and get the hell out of here.

What I had to learn, was about what this grief is, what is causing it, and what I can do about it. Besides hundreds of boxes of tissues, accompanying the massive purge of "losses" that I perceived, I tried various things. One thing which did immediately help was EFT (emotional freedom technique) - a form of acupressure, which alleviates emotional pain. It takes the edge off and offers some relief. But I wanted to truly heal this suffering.

What I've learned about grief is that is stems entirely from ego beliefs. Just as the course say, "No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision." Meaning, unless I am doing something to myself, there can be no basis for grief.

Every single sense of grief or loss comes from a perceived "real separation" occurring. Something which seemed real, which is now inaccessible, unavailable, distant, kept apart, or more permanently removed. This can be a loss of a person's life or a country or a pet or a culture or a favorite job or a tv show or whatever.

The ego first values these things by making them special, making them real, attaching to them, identifying with them, and believing they are important. Then, when one of these things is "lost" or separated from us, we literally are experiencing this idea that we're separated from reality, from what we "love", from what we think is valuable or important. This produces a rift within our mind, a split, and it can be very deep.

This sense of "real separation happening" is absolutely nothing short of a reflection or fragment of the idea of being separated from God. Every "loss" is the idea that God has been lost. That love has gone away. This produces horrendous feelings of lack, emptiness, depression, sadness, loss, loneliness, hurt, anger, fear, guilt, shame, you name it.

Additionally, in the ego thought system there is an idea of sacrifice. Sacrifice means that you first of all make something real or valuable or special, and then you believe that in order to atone you have to forceably be deprived of it, even while you still value it, which *guarantees* that you will suffer a sense of having lost something important to you. It is the idea that if you lose i.e. sacrifice something, you will gain something. The ego is totally nuts.

Even giving something to someone else through the ego and perceiving it as you being diminished or lacking or losing in some way, is the exact same dynamic which all grief is based on. And your reaction to it will be varying degrees of a sense of loss. It may not be a deep deep grief when you begrudgingly give up something you liked, but it's still the same dynamic.

I've found over time that all of my grief stems from my false perception. i.e., it ENTIRELY erupts out of the perception that a "real separation" has occurred. There is no other cause of it. It is not really about "oh I miss that person" or "oh I lost that job I loved" or "oh I don't have my family any more". These are mere forms of the same basic content of separation. It is the sense of having lost something you are attached to or which is special to you, i.e. fake reality, that produces the ego responses of grief.

I have also found, that even if I am deep in feelings of grief and it becomes possible to reclaim or get back or visit people or things which were "lost", this still does not in any way fix the grief. It is my own perception of real separation which causes the upset and until that is undone, as a false belief, I can still be in the presence of the very people or things I lost and still feel a loss. All loss is an inside job.

The grieving is actually taking place INSIDE my mind, between one part of myself that I made special and another part which has lost it. I've seen that my grieving is entirely selfish and about myself, and never really about anything outside of me. This has also taught me that e.g. returning home or going back to family will NOT resolve the problem of grieving, and through my own experience it never has. For the ego it's a fake promise of salvation.

I've also found therefore that any grief that I am having is entirely due to my own beliefs, my own choices, my own perceptions, my own attitude, and what I choose to perceive. If I choose to believe death is real, I WILL automatically be very upset when someone dies. If I choose to make someone special or attach to them or "need" them, I will AUTOMATICALLY grieve whether I like it or not when they are taken away. I set myself up for loss every time that I try to take possession of something or depend on it too heavily or make it special or considering it more exclusively valuable or conditional. And so, I literally do this to myself.

Every ego attempt to make something special, to "have it" or value it or attach to it or believe in it (ego beliefs) or possess it or need it, will AUTOMATICALLY bring with it the conditions for its INEVITABLE LOSS. It is a total trap. You literally are signing up for LOSS, when you sign up for "getting".

The truth is, no-one needs to grieve, no-one is supposed to be experiencing loss, no-one is supposed to be crying or unhappy, no-one is supposed to spend 50 years getting over the loss of a parent or child, no-one is supposed to be SUFFERING like this. Without using ACIM whatsoever, and just fudging our way through this stuff, we will take however long it takes to cry and cathartic and remember and try to keep them alive etc...ie reluctantly letting go. Without any other tools, most people spend years dealign with deep losses.

And then there is another camp of people who are so level-confused that they'll try to force you to just "get over it" or repress it or censor it or not feel any feelings or never cry or bypass it with ACIM pleasantries like "it never happened" etc. For most people, they HAVE to go through a "grieving process" because its the only way they have to heal the ACTUAL problem, which is a sense of separation from God. And that is the ONLY problem, even in the case of grief, and even in the case of death.

If a person is having such a deep emotional pain, there is nothing helpful in repressing it or trying to ignore it or not letting it out or trying not to cry or to shove it down in some way to pretend it's not there. Feelings, once they are created, MUST be felt and allowed to flow. And usually the sense of loss is so deep that it simply generates a ton of feelings. They must be felt, not turned into emotional constipation. But that said.... tentatively.... there must be a better way, and there is.

Tackling the real issue, which is a sense of "real separation" or "real loss" or "real sacrifice" or "real absence", which is a BELIEF in your mind that has nothing to do with the world or other people, there is much more HOPE for a swifter recovery. What a person has "suffered" in a "loss" is really that they are suffering from a false perception of reality (God) being lost permanently, as though completely real. It is very, very convincing to the ego, and it produces just horrendous depths of unhappiness.

But this separation, this loss, it can be healed. And it can be SIGNIFICANTLY undone if not entirely, through applications of ACIM principles. i.e. forgiveness, seeing the truth, unearthing the lies about "justified grief" or "everyone grieves" or "loss is normal after death" or whatever else... stuff that well-meaning psychiatrists have made up to explain why most ego-driven people suffer. Jesus has a different message: "You need not suffer."

It is ONLY a perception of real separation that produces grief or loss, ever. There is no other cause. And perception CAN be healed because beliefs CAN be changed. It is NOT necessary to have terrible grief. It is NOT necessary to have a deep, bottomless pit of misery for years and years. It is NOT necessary to feel like you lost part of yourself forever and ever. It is NOT necessary to feel hurt and angry and abandoned and upset for the rest of your life. There is nothing that cannot be healed.

For me now, every single year my "christmas grief" has dwindled at a rapid rate, since doing the course. This years was the least upset I've ever been. Triggers have been collapsed. Ideas of real loss undone. A sense of major separation significantly reduced. Tears have dwindled. It's not simply been through years of suffering and tears or "normal grieving process". It's because I apply forgiveness principles to what I am experiencing. In the middle of a moment of grief, if I can even remember that "I am not separate from God", and that this grief is about that... it immediately cuts through it like a knife.

Grieving can be a very long term process for many people, me included, but it does not HAVE to be. There is no requirement in God's Creation that anyone be upset for any reason. There is no justification for unhappiness. There is no rational for why it's "normal" to be seriously upset about anything. The Course is offering us the END of all death, all suffering, all sickness, and all grieving. To restore us to life, to happiness, to joy, to freedom, to liberation from all sad feelings and all sense of God being dead.

You need not suffer. What can you possibly grieve for but the belief in separation from God, which is not real? There has been no loss. Separation has not happened. God is alive and well and loves you. What's to be grieving about in truth?

Just about everyone believes in it.

Just about everyone bows down and allows it to happen.

Just about everyone wants it to happen to them.

Just about everyone fears it as a result.

Just about everyone is choosing it.

Just about everyone knows someone who has experienced it.

Just about everyone thinks it is an inevitable, un-questionable truth.

Just about everyone is convinced it cannot be undone.

Just about everyone experiences it eventually even if they spend their entire lives saying they do not believe in it.

Just about everyone from any religion believes in it.

Just about everyone sabotages themselves so that it will happen to them.

Just about everyone has a death wish.

Just about everyone is suicidal.

Just about everyone wants it, loves it, adores it and worships it.

When all else is over, and all other thoughts and opinions and religions and ways of life come and go, it all ends at death's door with a worship of the idea that you must be sacrificed to please death.

Isn't it about time we started to defect from this death worship super-cult and started to believe in the reality of immortality?

YOU NEED TO FIX OTHERS BECAUSE YOU ARE BROKEN

This has been a major eye opener for me.

If you have a belief in your mind that you have sinned, then you'll believe that you are responsible for some kind of attack. And because you attacked, you will feel guilty. This means that your mind is now sick because it believes something untrue about itself. And your mind now needs healing.

But chances are that you'll deny this in order to try to resolve it the ego way, and this will then project onto someone else. You'll see someone else as in need of healing. You'll see that there is something dire and wrong with them. That they are seriously suffering or in trouble. It can turn into what appears to be a nightmare where you are constantly upset that there seems to be no way to solve the problem.

The problem is that you feel you are responsible for causing the guilt, the brokenness, the unhealed-nature, that you're seeing in someone else. You'll believe you caused them to suffer, to be sick, to be upset, etc. You'll seem to feel guilty for this as though your own sin has led to someone else suffering. And this puts you into a bind.

Since you now feel guilty, and you think you're guilty for making someone else suffer, you'll become compelled to want to fix them. You'll develop a strong need to change them, control them, manage them, coerce there, or get them to do something, or to make something happen, in order to make the suffering go away. You'll even feel upset that they are suffering and that you want it to end any way possible.

You then find yourself in a position where you believe you are responsible for causing someone to suffer, they need to change in order to not suffer, you need to force them to change, and you'll try anything you can to "fix it". But a problem arises, because they will now start to resist your efforts to control and dominate them. They'll see your attempts to fix and help as actual attempts to attack them. Because now you are not accepting them or allowing them freedom.

This is all driven by a need that you have developed. By seeing yourself as sinful and guilty you have entered into a needy state where you lack love and health. So you now see that if you can get the person you projected it onto to be restored to health and happiness, this will "solve" your need for healing.

But this is a big dependency and it comes with a major pitfall. If the other person does not comply, if they do not want your help, if they resist your constant attempts to fix them, and if they refuse to play along, you will not be able to get your artificial needs met. And being left in a situation where you see yourself as needing something but are denied it, the ego now goes into its dark hateful vengeful angry mode because it has no other options.

You will then start to turn to anger and force and more aggressive control in an effort to push the person into doing what you think you need them to do, in order for you to be relieved of suffering. You'll also start to believe that the reason you are now suffering is because of them. Their suffering, and their seeming inability to be healed, and their seeming unwillingness to make choices towards healing, is taken like a slap in the face.

You can't find peace because you are making peace depend entirely on whether or not the other person is free from suffering. All their suffering ties into yours and it now seems their suffering is causing you to suffer. And if only you could get them to stop suffering, you'll supposedly be happy and overjoyed.

As you make efforts or suggestions for what they must do, need to do, its very serious to do that, must comply, etc demanding they follow along, and as they fail to comply, you will just become more and more lost and exasperated and upset and stressed.

Because no matter what you try, it seems you keep hitting a dead end and nothing is working, it seems hopeless and, according to you, if these resolutions are not adopted, the person is going to be in far worse condition. You develop a progressively stronger need to fix them the more you believe they are the one with the problem. This is disassociation.

What's happening here isn't really so much to do with the other person, what their condition is, their willingness, or anything to do with whether or not they are actually in need of fixing. The real problem is that you've entered into a dynamic of believing in your own guilt, you feel responsible for causing the suffering, this is exacerbated every time they seem to refuse your efforts, and how dare they not be healed the way you need them to be healed. Why do you even need them to be healed in the first place? What's it to you?

What this means is you're trying to resolve a sense of "something is wrong", by trying to address it outside of yourself where you THINK it is, in another person, as if that's where the problem is. Not realizing you are even projecting anything at all. In fact the more you focus on the problems of the other person the more you will go into denial and unconsciousness as to it being you who needs healing. It will seem as if they are the one who clearly has all the problems, all the suffering, and not you, and all you're doing is trying to "help", trying to offer suggestions, trying to make their life better. But this really all has nothing to do with them.

This is really not much different from when you are just generally scapegoating someone due to them seeming to attack you. You blaming people for doing stuff to you. You finding them to be guilty. You judging them. The need to fix is based on the exact same dynamic except that it doesn't seem like scapegoating, because it seems like whole whole intention and desire is for the person to actually get BETTER and improve and be healed and happy.

It seems you want the best for them, but this is an illusion of healing and still a major ego trap, based in denial of your own guilt, that promises salvation in an external form rather than where it's needed. It's an illusion of a desire to truly heal, and is really an attack in disguise. You think all you're doing is wanting the person to heal, but all you're doing is seeing them as more and more in need, which means the ego is seeing more and more distance between the problem and the solution. The more you deny your own sickness the more you want to heal the supposed sickness of others.

The real issue is that you yourself feel guilty, and in an effort to get away from this guilt, you are instead seeing brokenness in another person instead of fixing yourself. The "need" to fix is still there because you believe you need fixing, but the approach to resolving it isn't working. Trying to get another person to heal in order for you to be healed, is not going to work. Trying to get another person to follow the rules or play along with the prescription or do the steps you come up with for how they must behave and act, is not going to make even a dent in how or why you feel so guilty about their condition.

It all goes back to causality, and the sense that you actually believe, deep down, that you cause other people to suffer. And this is based on the belief that you caused sin to happen. You think you actually are making someone sick. You think it's your fault that other people have issues, or are unhappy, or are sick and suffering. That because they are not loving themselves, and therefore are not loving you, there must be something wrong with you. And your wrongfulness must be the reason for their upset. This kind of stuff even goes back into childhood beliefs and wrongful conclusions.

What you really need, is a clear and definite sense of what the real cause of the situation is. And this means forgiveness clearly needs to be applied, to dismantle all sense of artificial cause and effect on the horizontal level. All sense that you are the cause of their suffering, or that their suffering is the cause of you. Because this really has nothing to do with the other person at all.

You have your own belief that you are sinful and guilty. Before the other person even becomes involved. You think you are lacking and unworthy of love. And this in turn is a state of need or lack. And this neediness will now project onto someone else as though they are the one who is lacking and in need. The more in need they seem to be the more likely they are to "map onto" your projection and be a perfect fit for you to target. You'll then be able to use them to try to fulfill your ego ambition, which is to fix something, so long as its not the real problem or where the problem really is.

Within your own mind there is a problem. It's a belief in sin and guilt. And this is based on a skewed sense of causality. Somehow you believe you are the cause of suffering in others, because you think you succeeded in sinning against God. You also believe you have caused yourself to suffer. Unresolved guilt you have about the false illusion that you caused the sickness or suffering of someone else (which does go back to the separation idea) can easily project onto another target. That you even seem to EXIST on a physical level "suggests" that you are part of sin, because the world of bodies is the world of sin.

You have to learn to become clear about the fact that you are not causing other people to suffer. The only reason you get so caught up and lost in trying to "help them" and "fix them" and "save them" is so that you won't keep feeling guilty. If you COULD save them, you think you'll be delighted. That all you want for them is to be happy. All you want for them is to be healthy and well and living life. But is this all you really want? Because behind this desire for their highest good there is really a NEED, a desire to elevate them SO THAT you can keep your guilt and continue to hide from it, because you think you are guilty for what THEY are experiencing.

If they do indeed become saved somehow, healed, healthier, holier, happier, that's all well and good and will seem to lift the burden of the sense that you need them to be this way. You might feel temporarily, fictionally better about yourself, as if you achieved something. As if they are now better "because of you", and you get to be the hero.

When they go along with your wishes, as if going along with your agenda, you'll feel your ego float in pride and success as if you won a victory and managed to coerce someone into doing what you wanted. Your ego becomes a tyrant in this, incessantly demanding conformity and compliance. So if they comply, suddenly the ego is all happy and elated. But it's fake. It's a facade of gloating and being pleased with yourself that you seemed to "cause" someone else to be in a better position, even against their will. How dare they not be happy when you need them to not be sad. How dare they be sad when you need to be made happy.

The egoic dependency on another always ends up this way. Terribly unhappy when they aren't complying, unnaturally inflated when they are finally doing what you want. But never simply at peace or calmly happy. Or detached. You have to let go of the person and honor their free will. But you'll only do that when you can realize that you've been using them to try to resolve your own issues. Otherwise if you keep intending to use them to meet your own fake needs, you won't allow them to be free of your tyrannical rule.

Recognizing you did not cause the suffering of another, gives you freedom. It's what you really need to realize. YOU DID NOT SIN. You did not cause suffering. If in particular you can pinpoint what the cause of their suffering is, and realize it is not you, that can help as well, even if on a superficial level of fake cause and effect. But mainly you need to get to the point where you admit that you are the one who needs healing and realize that this is all to do with your attempt to at "self healing" which you're trying to accomplish outside of yourself instead of within.

You have guilt in you, which shouldn't be there. It's based on beliefs that are false. Guilt is always a lie. It's based on some sense of sin - something you did or did not do, which was not what should or should not have been done. Sin is always a lie because there is no sin in reality. But there is something you have accused yourself of. Something you think you are responsible for. Something you think you caused but didn't. This is where you need forgiveness. And that's what your entire "need to fix" is coming from.

If you are not sinful or guilty, and did not cause your brother to experience anything at all, then you are not in need. You are not lacking love for yourself. And so you do not project the guilt onto another person. And so you do not see them as lacking. And so you do not see a need to fix "what's wrong". And so you do not start trying to control them. And so you do not become upset at their lack of willingness or the inability to heal the terrible problems that have now turned into a nightmare in your perception of the situation. Stuff that, if it doesn't get fixed, you think will lead to death.

Thinking you are responsible for not only making someone suffer but for also reversing the suffering, is a terribly slippery slope. This doesn't mean you can't offer miracles or that the Holy Spirit cannot heal the person and their body. But you have to get yourself healed of this distorted form of healing first. This attempt at healing is not true healing. It's the ego's form of healing. And just like "forgiveness to destroy", it is "healing to destroy."

Your ambition is not really to heal, in this condition, it's to create an illusion of healing in another person so that your own sickness remains hidden in your mind and thought to have nothing to do with you. If they get fixed, you reason that this will fix your life. But it won't. Because you yourself need healing as well and don't realize it.

The need to fix another becomes a trap and a prison, because the only way out is the way you came in, within yourself. Free yourself of the insane belief that you are the cause of suffering, an attacker, a sinner, guilty, ashamed, unworthy, or any other false belief. This will lift away from the other person all of your projected suffering and neediness, which will be a relief to both of you. Especially given that your attempt to heal them is probably hurting them more, and inducing even more guilt.

And now in your perception that you are not really sick, because you are not really sinful, you become the light of the world, in a position to now work ACTUAL miracles, TRUE healing, to be truly helpful, and to offer the kind of support that actually works. Now the person is more likely to respond, because everyone responds to love. Love can be trusted. Love is worth cooperating with. And love heals.

Now you are a miracle worker, alleviated from your own insane belief that you are deeply in need of healing, which you no longer see in others. Now you can recognize their illusions of sickness only for what they are, and offer genuine healing to cure and reverse their suffering. You're now in a position to allow the Power of God to work through you, to shine a light into their mind from your healed mind. And now you are capable of giving the miracles you have received.

"It is the privilege of the forgiven to forgive."

"The ego's plan for forgiveness is far more widely used than God's. This is because it is undertaken by unhealed healers, and IS therefore of the ego. "

"By definition, he is trying to GIVE what he has NOT received."

"I give the miracles I have received."

When you are in a mindset that tries to make the world real, it is a mindset of attempting to "make true" what is not really true.

It's the mindset of a seeker, or someone who is in denial of reality and wants to escape it. Such a mind will try to GIVE truth to an illusory world, to explain it, to describe it, to profess why and how it is true or what the truth of it is. Such a mind attempts to give a sense of reality and factuality to what is inherently unreal and artificial. Such a mind is not interested in giving up the world.

In such a mindset, you will be addicted to being the one who makes things true. Who gives reality to illusions. You will claim to be seeking the truth, but really you are not seeking the truth. You are trying to give the truth away, trying to displace it and pass it off and allocate it to something that is not true, so that it will not be recognizable.

Everyone with an ego is attempting to give the truth away. Trying to hand it over to untruth so that it is meaningless, and yet all done in the name of fervently seeking the truth. Such a mind tries to disown and give reality away, turning unreality into reality, in an attempt to deny that reality is real.

Being a truth maker means you are hell-bent on defining what the truth is, deciding what it is, and always having to have the truth be verified by your egoic understanding. Your so-called precious "opinion" is not worth anything. You're not really interested in what the truth IS, only in what YOU make of it. And so you are not really willing to accept or know the truth, only to REPLACE it with an interpretation of your own.

When there is a lack of surrender to the truth, or a lack of acceptance of its inescapable, predefined, absolute, factual nature, a person will exhibit many signs of seeking EXTERNALLY for the truth, and also signs of both deciding what is true and attempting to form a "complete picture" of the truth composed of their understanding.

They will attempt to exalt their ego to spiritual heights, claiming that they are accumulating or accessing the highest of truths, when in fact it is really the spiritualized ego attempting to create an ILLUSION of truth. Such illusions of truth can be difficult traps to avoid.

Much surrendering is needed in order to let go of all of the ways that you are trying to MAKE the truth be what you think it should be. You are trying to tell God what God is, to redefine Him in YOUR likeness. Your idea about what the truth is may not be what the truth is. Your "best guess" is not fact.

God is the truth and the truth about God is the only truth there is. There is no other truth. You cannot change this fact. There is nothing you can ever do to change this. Your only choice is either to accept it and share in it, OR to go into denial and pretend that something else is more true. Even if you can demonstrate to yourself clearly that something else is true - such as bodies or worlds - it still won't change the fact that you are still in DENIAL. You will remain in denial forever until you choose to accept God's truth.

God's truth cannot be defeated. It is immortal. It is everlasting. It is not up for question. It has no properties that waver or are undecided. It is permanently real and absolutely immovable. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change God's mind about you, and there is nothing you can do to ACTUALLY undo or harm God's reality. It is FIXED like a rock.

This is also fortunate, for you, because it means that even though you're in denial, and don't want to accept God's truth, preferring your own version of reality, once you do finally surrender and accept God's unequivocal truth, God will still be just the same as He ever was. The love will still be unconditional, God will still see you the same, God will still welcome and accept you fully without rejection, and not a single note in heaven's song will have been skipped.

Heaven's song hasn't skipped a note because the illusory separation from God did not interrupt Heaven, it merely attempted to replace it through denial, and being denial it was not ACTUALLY replaced at all, but merely blocked from awareness. Heaven is the same as ever and always will be, because God Created it in order for YOU to have an eternal home to return to, when you're done with your insane game of separation.

Give up your truth. Let God in. Let yourself be loved. Surrender your false beliefs in sin and guilt and fear and death. Only the truth is true. And because only the truth is true, nothing else can have ever happened but the truth. All else must be an illusion and must not exist. The permanence of God proves there can be no separation from reality. Your attempts to make up your own idea of the truth is an attempt to separate yourself from reality.

Still God loves you.

We rely on our own abilities. We rely on ourselves to be able to figure things out. We rely on the ability to be able to understand why things happen. We basically have appointed ourselves as some kind of know-it-all guru who supposedly has the actual ability to find out the reasons and causes of everything.

This is a complete farce. The ego cannot figure out why things happen. All the ego does is make things worse. It adds to problems, it does not objectively diagnose them. It also presents situations in which we are seeking a lot but not finding.

And this is because, as soon as the ego thinks something is happening or has gone wrong, it ACCEPT THAT AS TRUTH, and that alone shuts the entire door on all possibility of actually doing anything constructive 'about' that problem at all. You can see this in almost all medical circles where the problem is accepted as real and then 'treatment' is nothing more than maintenance, and there are no real 'cures'.

The only thing that can come from believing that something really has gone wrong, is an endless - yet seemingly purposeful and well intentioned - tirade of exploration and explanation, attempting to justify, rationalize and explain 'why' ....under the artificial hope that IF you can figure out why, you will somehow access some kind of other SPECIAL ABILITY to then do something about it.

And so not only is our ego the appointed assessor and figures-outerer, it is also going to save us from this problem once it figures it out, supposedly, with its expertise and its own reliance on itself to get itself out of this mess (which it created by the way). Pretty unlikely, and pretty funny that it was the ego who created and affirmed the reality of the problem and is now supposedly going to save us from it.

And when we do this, which is pretty much all the time, we're basically on a wild goose chase hunting after ghosts and never really solving anything. All this does is enhances our reliance on the ego, our trust in the ego - our ego self - and prevents us from turning to Holy Spirit.

The situation with Holy Spirit is that if we were trusting Him instead of attempting to do ANYTHING about this problem on our own, which requires surrendering the ego (go figure), we would not ever get into the mode of trying to figure out the 'why' of what's happening. In fact, it would be like doing absolutely nothing about the problem, not even attempting to understand it or to describe it or explain it.

To the ego that seems ridiculous. It seems ridiculous to our own ego self to suggest we should just not even attempt to get into explaining, to not even begin to figure it out, and to not even try to understand what's going on. Because what we really need to do, and all we need to do, is completely turn to Holy Spirit in trust and surrender and ALLOW HIM to solve it for us. There are parts in ACIM where it tells us this, that we need to not only turn to Him and trust Him, but that He will also then turn around and DO IT FOR US, IF we will let Him.

Allowing Him to do healing and correction for us takes a development of trust. It means putting aside the ego. It means SWITCHING OFF the ego's use of the mind to attempt to control the situation or diagnose it, and to be quiet and receptive. It means allowing our mind to be put under the control of SPIRIT, to use as it wills, and to trust that it knows what it's doing. This is an entirely different mode of functioning than depending on our own ego self to solve everything.

IF we do trust Holy Spirit and open our mind and turn over management of our mind to Him, for Him to use, then He CAN work miracles through us to solve ALL problems instantly. This doesn't take any figuring out. It doesn't take use of the mind to figure it out. The mind's function is not really as a figure-it-outer, that's just how the EGO is using the mind for controlling situations. The mind can be put into more of a passive mode of sorts where it is under the expression of Spirit, and then it is much more powerful to be a conduit for change and to receive correction.

So we need to stop depending on ourselves, our own lowly little abilities and 'learning' that we're oh-so-proud of and special because of,, and this constant determination that we are *supposed* to solve problems on our own or to try to understand and gain some kind of know-how about the problem which allegedly will help us fix it. This *seems* to work sometimes, in magical ways, to change furniture and move it around, but it does not work to actually undo problems or to correct the mind that believes they are real. And indeed the ego is incapable of solving many problems whatsoever.

Let go. Let God work through you.

You might not be used to telling illusions what to do. You are more likely conditioned and used to a certain degree of victimhood, or powerlessness, which means that you allow stuff outside of you to seem to have power, or to have a say in what happens against your will.

Or to put it another way, you are used to listening to the ego. You're used to believing appearances. You're used to letting the world tell you what is happening. You're used to believing that these illusions are real and that they dictate what you are going to experience.

With divine healing, your attitude has to be different. It has to not listen to the ego. It has to not pay attention to appearance. It has to cut through all of the incoming signals from the ego illusion, ignore them completely, and demand and command the illusion to do what you want it to do.

So because of your mental conditioning in which you are very used to being quite wishy-washy about situations, where you sit on fences and maybe 'ask' life to change, you have to get out of that PASSIVE mentality. You have to stop paying so much attention to what your senses tell you and stop acting like a weak victim.

So this can actually take some practice to overcome and push past that conditioning, that way of using your mind that you've been so used to. It takes practice to learn whether you are actually fully COMMANDING that something change or be healed, versus whether there are elements of .. indecision, doubt, fear, uncertainty, paying attention to how things look, being caught up in the seeming reality of it, having reactions based on how the situation appears, etc... you have to weed all of that stuff out.

You need to become a finely tuned, PURIFIED, focused, clear, direct, certain, creative and firmly expressive miracle worker. You need to have authority. You must not lay down and just let the illusion, sickness, or whatever walk all over you with how much power it seems to have.

There is no order of difficulty in miracles, which means one miracle is not more difficult than another. But it ALSO means, MIRACLES ARE NOT DIFFICULT! Miracles are meant to be EFFORTLESS! In fact one of the miracle principles speaks of how miracles shouldn't be under conscious control, which speaks to how we need to be a conduit or bridge for the miracle to flow across without interference. But if our bridge is only half-built and stops short of fully extending into the illusion, to fully DELIVER God's promise of divine healing, then the effects will also fall short.

So experiment. Take time to speak TO the problem and tell it what you want it to do, explicitly and directly, not taking no for an answer. You have to be firm, and you have to be very clear. This takes some refinement. I've found that I tended at first to 'ask' problems to go. This does not work. I found that I would describe the problem. That doesn't work. I found that I would talk about the problem, to myself or others or to God. That doesn't work. I found that I would then talk about what I wanted to happen in a kind of future tense, but that also did not work. You have to tell the problem directly, NOW, in first-person immediate language, in a commanding way, "sickness, leave right now. Go! Get out!". You have to CONFRONT IT, which takes some balls especially if you are a people pleaser ;-)

I've found that it took several attempts and various failures to learn how to be commanding. It was not natural to me at first. I was too passive and uncertain and afraid. I would buy into doubts too much, like wondering if it would work or what would happen. We cannot be like that. We are representatives of God. We are like his policemen, enforcing his law. We have to be AUTHORITATIVE. And illusions MUST obey. But if you are not authoritative, illusions and sickness and all other forms of suffering will STAY because you are failing to give it a direct order to leave. If you don't use very direct commanding language, which is vague and wishy-washy, you will see 'reflected back' in the dream mirror vague results or half-hearted responses.

Illusions must respond to the commanding confidence of Christ.

In all cases, when Jesus healed the sick and so on, he always gave a very direct command. "Get up and walk". "Lazarus, get up and a live". etc... these are not requests. They are powerful commands. And that is how power flows across them. Words are a transit system for the communication and flow of God's power. You have to speak to the problem and tell it what to do.

"For truly I say to you, whoever SAYS to this mountain (notice the SPOKEN command), 'Be removed and be thrown into the sea!' and does not doubt in his heart (no fear, no uncertainty, completely belief and confidence), but BELIEVES that what he says will come to pass (believing it is a very important part of conviction), he will have whatever he says" (Bible, Mark 11:23).

While you have "false perception", your mind is going to be split. It is not merely separated FROM the truth, it is separated WITHIN itself, divided against itself. The ego is a state of self conflict and contradiction. And that means there is disassociation, or two parts, where one part seems to be "you" and the other part seems to be "not you". When you have false perception you are "in two minds."

It will SEEM as though you are "separate from" this world, as a separate perceiver or some kind of bystander who just observes it. What is outside the body (split) seems to be "not you" and what is inside it seems to be you. Yet BOTH of them are in your mind, which has used the body as a separation device to split you from YOURSELF. In this state, you will think that your "illusions" are ONLY to do with your illusions ABOUT the "world that is separate from you", which seems to be objectively real.

However, the purpose of this split is to disown the fact that the whole PLANET is coming from YOUR MIND, and what is "out there" is literally just another part of YOUR MIND that you've disowned. You are the one who MADE IT, it is PART OF your false perception. "The world is false perception". And you cannot truly get to the recognition/perception that both "inside the body" and "the world out there" are BOTH in you, until you can undo enough of the disassociation. The world "out there" is your unconscious mind. The world "in here" seems to be your conscious mind. The division has to be undone.

The sense that "you are not the world" is the ego, hiding in a dream, associating "self" and "what I want" with "you in the body" and associating "what I don't want" with what's outside. When you dream at night, you create entire environments with buildings and streets and people. And it is your mind making all of it. But at the same time, your mind invents a body for you to inhabit inside of this environment, and puts your awareness into it, and makes you unconscious of the dreaming that is making the environment. And so you then perceive AS IF, you are ONLY that which is in the body, looking out upon a world that you think YOU DID NOT MAKE. Even though your mind is making EVERYTHING in the scene.

It is the same in the waking world. Earth. You SEEM to experience that you did not make the world, that it is too big and complex for you to put there yourself, that you are limited to the inside of your little body, and that everything outside the body is "not of you". You seem to have no control over it, no power to directly manipulate it with your mind, and it seems to do things "on its own". BUT THAT IS PART OF DREAMING. And it is in fact YOU, who is putting ALL of the environment there, and making the houses and streets and people. But you are not aware that your larger mind is DOING that because you've DISASSOCIATED from it and think you are just this tiny little crapper stuck in a body peering out and "perceiving" a world that you didn't make. Which leads you to believe that since you have disowned it (the other half of yourself), GOD must have created it. Which is a lie.

WHEN YOU WAKE UP to the truth, and this disassociation and pretense and "hiding in the dream in a body" is overcome, you will come to recognize that YOU ARE DREAMING THE PLANET. That you are looking at a dream that is coming from your mind in its ENTIRETY, not just your little body or your little fenced off corner of the dream. And so now your mind is responsible for MAKING THE WORLD. And it is a dream world, because you are DREAMING IT. You are inventing it as you go along.

To recognize this is to be "awake in the dream", which really means, to be STILL DREAMING but aware that the dream is coming from your mind. It isn't the end of dreaming, nor does it represent the desire to STOP dreaming and be TRULY awake. It is a state of lucidity, but NOT a state of being TOTALLY AWAKE IN REALITY. And because the body is part of the dream, having it, using it, seeing it, keeping it, is all part of STILL dreaming.

Given you are dreaming of a UNIVERSE, to truly awaken from the dreaming state is to END the universe, to DISAPPEAR the body, to see the world VANISH, and FORGET THIS WORLD ENTIRELY, this whole planet and everything on it and beyond it. And to GO HOME TO HEAVEN. Heaven is the container of your "dreaming self" which is reality and is a PLACE and has not changed since you fell asleep.

And only upon waking up FROM dreaming, do you truly awaken into a state where there IS NO DREAM OF ANY KIND, no bodies, no planets, no animals, no plants, no stars or galaxies. Just pure light, love, immortality and eternal life. Pure spirit. What you REALLY ARE. Your real self in God. The Kingdom of God, which GOD created, and which is your real home.

We're presented with an interesting challenge. Before you seems to be a brother who seems to have a body, seems to have a personality, seems to have a history, seems to believe various things and perceive in various ways.

But then, at the same time, your REAL BROTHER, is actually a spirit being, a soul, who is an absolutely perfect light of Heaven, completely invulnerable and immortal, absolutely awake, totally free from sickness and suffering, perfectly sane, happy, free, and full of love.

So now the question is, when you "relate" or interact with a person, are you going to consider that their bodily limited self is REALLY the person, or are you going to consider that their HOLY self is really the person? And if you acknowledge and relate only with the holy self, does this not show you that the bodily self is NOT WHO HE IS? Does it not frame all of his illusions AS illusions and as lies and falseties about him, that you are not supposed to believe, or see, or confirm, or hold against him?

It becomes now a matter of, are you willing to overlook everything about him that seems to be "here", as a body self, a worldly self, an ego self, and completely IGNORE all of it, and connect and relate ONLY to a REAL SELF, that is hidden by the body, obscured by false perceptions, and lurking in and BEYOND the body as your ACTUAL BROTHER?

Are you willing to realize that all of these body persons are actually not real, all of these forms and differences are illusions, no-one is really a body, no-one is different or unique, everyone is equally a brother and equally lovable? And are you willing therefore to LET GO OF, the belief you've had for thousands of years, that these "people" populating the dream that you thought were "real", they are just shadows of real beings who are temporarily invisible to your body's eyes, and who are absolutely perfect?

At some point we have to become willing to disregard these illusions that are being presented to us, these obstacles to peace, and learn to overlook them. This is literally forgiveness, which changes your perception, awakens your mind and shows you with CHRIST VISION the true nature of the brother that stands before you. And that means learning to question, let go of, ignore, not believe in, not take seriously, and basically disregard, anything and everything about a person that seems "traditionally human", and to instead look PAST THAT, to what can ONLY be the truth about them. That they are still perfectly the Christ as God created them, flawless and immaculate, perfect in every way, unconditional and universal, and free from all suffering, sin, guilt, fear and death.

It's a strange thing to do. Because we've been so used to looking with the body's eyes and seeing "people" and thinking this is all there is to them, looking at bodies and taking them as first-hand reality, looking at behaviors and appearances and differences and thinking this is TRUE of the person, and generally interacting with DREAM CHARACTERS. And these dream characters are NOT REALLY the depiction or representation of your actual brothers. Not unless, perhaps in currently rare cases, your brother is using his body to accurately symbolize his immortality. And even then, he is not his body.

Are you willing to overlook EVERYTHING your body's eyes show you? Are you willing to start interacting with the "higher self" or holy true self of your brothers? Are you willing to stop dwelling on bodies and what bodies do, and start peering deeper into people into their minds and souls? Are you willing to disbelieve anything about your brother that is not given by God, is not in accord with God's laws, and does not represent God's perfection? To recognize that all the rest is NOT TRUE of them or you? And to realize that all of your brothers are your perfect equals AS GOD CREATED US?

This is what it means to forgive your brother. To totally overlook ("to forgive is to overlook") the illusions that hide your brother from you, and learn to SEE the TRUTH of Him, which is absolutely as perfect and permanent as He has always been and forever will be.

"Look at your holy brother, sinless as yourself, and let him lead you there."

"Look, then, BEYOND error, and do not let your perception rest UPON it, for you will believe what your perception HOLDS."

"Forgive him your illusions, and behold how dear a brother he would be to you."

"Your brother has a changelessness in him beyond appearance and deception both."

"And while you see your brother as a body, APART from you and separate in his cell, you are demanding sacrifice of him AND you. "

"And to ACCEPT the limits of a body is to IMPOSE these limits on each brother that you see."

"It must reach out beyond itself, as you reached out beyond the body to LET yourselves be joined."

"Far beyond his dreams is his reality."

"When you attack a brother, you proclaim that he is limited by what you have perceived in him. You do not look beyond his errors. Rather, they are magnified, becoming blocks to your awareness of the Self that lies beyond your own mistakes, and past his seeming sins as well as yours."

I used to think that "false empathy" meant when you are basically empathizing with someone, sympathizing, or sort of getting into their emotional drama etc....

Now I see it is more than that. It means really `joining` with someone in, and agreeing about, ANY kind of ego scenario, relating to ANY appearance or ANY illusion that covers up the immortal, God-created Real Self.

If a person comes along and is in any way demonstrating belief in being anything less than God created them, perfectly whole and holy and innocent and invulnerable, then that's an ego drama. If I go along with it, buy into it, join with them in it, participate in it, take it seriously, listen to it, judge it, engage with it or any of that, that's me entering into false empathy.

It's kind of like a false Oneness... a false joining, that says, I will join with you in a subjective illusion and pretend it is objectively real, and the two of us will then be 'infected' with this ego attitude and at least we'll agree with each other that this it the truth.

Real empathy then would entail absolutely not joining in ANY ego whatsoever, overlooking all ego, persona, and appearances, not believing in or taking seriously ANY presentation that runs against that (including anyone seeming to be sick, diseased, afraid, upset, etc)... holding the light, holding the truth, being a beacon, a leader, and strength that invites the other person to remember who they really are.