Your main problem is one of identity. You've attempted to change your identity from Christ, to take on a new identity as an ego.

Your sense of your "Self" has become associated with, attached to, and confused with, an alternative model of identity.

The ego is nothing but a device, a contraption you invented like a vehicle. It's something for you to cling to and to try to model yourself on. It does absolutely nothing on its own. It is lifeless.

It's not until you attempt to become joined with the ego, as though becoming one with it, that it becomes a problem.

If you think of it as a costume (like the body), it's not until you actually wear it that it seems to change how you express yourself.

Or, like a pair of goggles, it's not until you put the goggles over your eyes that your perception is changed. You can put them down again at any time and immediately resume normal vision.

You, as a Child of God, bring your sense of Self with you wherever you go. Your Self is your identity. The ego has no real self at all. However, if you bring your sense of Self to the ego and merge with it, you combine your sense of Self with its way of filtering reality. You then see "through" it, and see in the way that it would see if it had its own ability to see.

It is only your own ability to see - awareness - that you combine with the ego, that seems to give the ego perception. It is only your own ability to experience - being - that you combine with the ego, that seems to give the ego the ability to experience. It is only your own power which you share with the ego, which seems to give the ego power. It only shares any of this with you while you are joined with it, and as soon as you take it off, it would just drop to the floor lifelessly. Just like the body.

The problem is, when you've put your ability to experience and your sense of Self into the ego, trying to cling to it tightly as though making you become like it, you will now experience life through its eyes. Whatever it sees or how it looks at things or what it wants or how it values or what it believes, now becomes your experience. And you will see reality as very frightening when you look with the ego!

That's a problem because the ego's way of looking at reality is completely backwards. Seeing life through its eyes you will instantly reject God. God will suddenly seem to be an attacker, an enemy and a threat. The truth will suddenly seem like it is against you. The truth will come across as being the complete opposite of what you are, because it does not contain any separation, and the ego identifies with being made of separation. So the truth will then seem to be an affront, highly offensive, dangerous, hideous, and like some monster come to destroy the ego.

You, as immortal spirit, using and attached to the ego, ... if you attempt to become more spiritual while still wearing the ego identity, ie still joined with the ego mind and still looking through the ego goggles, will have a pretty interesting experience. You will not want to wake up. You will see any efforts to wake up as harmful and hurtful. You will interpret efforts to wake up as suicidal and sacrificial. And you will become afraid that the truth is coming along to destroy you. This can potentially provoke you to put up defenses against the truth, producing sickness and ultimately death.

This is precisely what you will experience each time you try to open up to more truth. Each time you let in some light. Each time you want to become closer to God. You, attached to the ego, inadvertently try to bring the ego into that light with you. It cannot go there and it won't go there. It will see it as you trying to destroy it. And it will put up a fight. Part of you which seems not to be in the ego gets closer to the light, and the part of you which does not want to let go of the ego - believing it is your Self - kicks and screams and resists and hates you for it.

This produces the ego rebound. Essentially, the ego rebound comes from trying to make the ego more spiritual, by attempting to bring it closer to its opponent. While you are identified with it, your attempt to go visit God without leaving the ego behind will create an elastic effect which will snap you back into the body and you will subsequently rage because of how you did such a horrible thing to your "self".

Waking up must entail the letting GO of the ego, recognizing that it is not your identity. Otherwise, each time you pull your "Self" into the light, and thus the ego with you, it's going to hurt. The ego cannot see the truth in any other way. It only sees the opposite of the truth as being true. It will never change. The ONLY way to be free of it is to let it go, to stop being it, stop wearing it, stop looking through it, and stop using it. We have to learn that the ego is NOT our "Self".

So this is purely a matter of identity. Are you made of ego? Is your Self really separate from God? Who are you? Are you Christ? Are you a body? Are you part of the ego thought system? Are you made of sin and guilt and fear? Do you believe in what the ego believes in? It's only because you have become CONFUSED about what really is YOU, and what is the ego, that you are having to go through this struggle of "awakening'. You literally believe, through the ego, that you are trying to destroy yourself by waking up.

Sometimes when you are exposing yourself to "too much truth" or "too much Course", you'll have these ego rebounds. You kind of can't help it. You are still holding on tightly to the very thing which is clouding your judgement, while simultaneously trying to be free of it. This makes you torn. Trying to be in two thought systems at once, or two canoes. There is part of you that sincerely believes you are the ego and you are the body. The suggestion that these things don't exist frightens you.

Letting go, letting go, letting go. Stopping being ego. Surrendering the false identity. Remembering who you really are. Accepting the truth that you are Christ. Relinquishing your belief in, trust in, faith in, confusion with, and reliance on a false self that isn't really a part of your identity. You literally believe the ego is who you are. It's not. Just some clarification needed. Some discernment. Is this really true about who I really am, or is this just a misperception caused by me using the ego goggles? Is this really who I am, or is this just a body I'm wearing temporarily?

Sorting out "who you are" is what this entire process is about. Each effort to "find out" will likely be partly fruitful and partly self destructive. Each time it will potentially offend you. Gradually you will inch towards awakening. Jesus says, "most of you will come in tears".

Each time you have a rebound, try to focus on LETTING GO. Just stop to recognize that you - part of your Self that's still identified with the ego or body, has become deeply hurt and offended by what the truth said about it. IT believes that the truth is vicious and mean and disrespectful. It is scared and freaking out because it doesn't understand what the truth really means or implies.

It, seeing through the ego, sees your efforts as blasphemous and an attack, and so it feels attacked and guilty. And that's what you'll feel like when you get a rebound - attacked and hurt and guilty. Recognize that in you and have compassion for that part of you. Try to get that part of you to let go of being ego.

Try to reassure your "self" that the truth doesn't mean YOU don't exist because YOU are not the ego. Be gentle with that part of you which is just like a confused wounded animal in the corner. Be kind to it. Don't push it too far too fast, that will just hurt more.

Likely you will have to feel the feelings of the hurt that was created by "its" mis-perception of what you did. Your attempt to wake up was like an abandonment of the ego self, like a self sacrifice. It doesn't have the ability to see any other way. So take your time and rest and recover and stop pushing yourself so hard.

Gradually and gently you need to learn to just LET GO of the ego because it is not who you really are. What you'll learn about your real identity is going to be quite a surprise!

What you are, what everyone is, is only that which God has given you to be. There is no other truth about you. The only truth about you is the truth you have inherited from God, who is the only truth.

Since God is immortal and God has created you, you are immortal. You cannot be anything else. You cannot be mortal.

Since God created you to be permanent, nothing can ever interrupt or end your permanence. You cannot be attacked, degraded, changed, damaged, manipulated, destroyed, made to suffer, to be sick or dead.

It is simply literally IMPOSSIBLE that who you really are can ever be sick. There can never ever be anything wrong with you. You were created perfect by God and you are still perfect.

So if it seems that sickness is showing up, and in light of the fact that it is IMPOSSIBLE for you to be sick, the sickness CANNOT be telling the truth. It cannot be real. It cannot be actually happening.

Everything the sickness suggests HAS to be an illusion, some kind of fiction. It can't even be there. It can have no reality, no truth, no validity, no function, no value, no true purpose, no meaning, nothing. It is literally nothing because there is no sickness.

This is how we must regard all sickness, whether seemingly in ourselves or others. Sickness must be recognized as IMPOSSIBLE. The Son of God cannot become sick, get sick, contract illness, be infected, or become diseased. God's son is perfect and immortal forever.

If sickness is showing up, a lie is showing up. It has to be recognized as false. Sickness is not true. Everything about it must be a deception. It must be a fake sickness. Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing real can become sick.

When the illusion of sickness is fully recognized as false, and as impossible, and that this must mean it is LITERALLY NOT THERE, the power of God can shine through and ASSERT LIFE.

Resurrection is the assertion of life, and it has tremendous power because there is truth in it. Life is reality. Life is truth. Life is immortal. To assert that your immortal being is the only truth, is to assert and cause life. Anything that was "not alive" must resurrect. Anything that "was sick" must be overridden.

You cannot die. "You are immortal and you cannot die." "There is no death, the Son of God is free." You can never die. You will never die. You have never died. You are absolutely beyond the reach of all lies of sin and guilt and suffering and punishment.

Simply ask yourself, this simple comparison. If I am immortal and perfect forever, can it be possible that this sickness is real? Either the sickness is real, or the immortality is real. They can't both be true. As you side with the immortality, the sickness has to go.

"Did God create the mortal and corruptible?"

"I will awaken from the dream that I am mortal, fallible and full of sin, and know I am the perfect Son of God."

"You were not born to die."

"Death is the central dream from which all illusions stem. Is it not madness to think of life as being born, aging, losing vitality, and dying in the end?"

Health, is simply alignment with your true nature. It is simply "being immortal". By being your true self, you can never die. By being true to yourself, you cannot suffer. Being as God created you, and not trying to be anything opposite or contradictory, there can be no sickness in you.

Using denial, through the proper use of denial, you should reject sickness and death. You should assert that only eternal life is true. You should assert that only eternal life is POSSIBLE, because it is all that God willed there to be. And in this recognition, you should recognize that sickness and death are simply NOT POSSIBLE.

When it seems like sickness is happening, that a little death is taking hold, something illusory must be happening. It can't be actually happening. It can seem to be happening. There can be symptoms and signs and pains and disfigurements and seeming malfunctions and lacks and deprivations and decay etc. But these CANNOT be possible.

"There is no pain in God and therefore none in me."

A son of God cannot be sick, otherwise God would have to be sick, because a son of God is only the inherited attributes of the father. If sickness is real, God is sick, and is the God of sickness. This is what the ego believes in.

Through the assertion of your immortal nature, you express love, which is life. You express power, which is life. You express miraculousness, which is life. "Miracles mean life and God is the giver of life." Miracles break all the laws of spacetime which say that sickness is possible and happening. Miracles override the laws of physics. Miracles heal and undo all sickness and death.

"T-10.III.3. To believe that a Son of God can be sick is to believe that part of God can suffer. 2 Love cannot suffer, because it cannot attack. 3 The remembrance of love therefore brings invulnerability with it. 4 Do not side with sickness in the presence of a Son of God even if he believes in it, for your acceptance of God in him acknowledges the Love of God he has forgotten. 5 Your recognition of him as part of God reminds him of the truth about himself, which he is denying. 6 Would you strengthen his denial of God and thus lose sight of yourself? 7 Or would you remind him of his wholeness and remember your Creator with him?"

"To believe a Son of God is sick is to worship the same idol he does. 2 God created love, not idolatry. 3 All forms of idolatry are caricatures of creation, taught by sick minds too divided to know that creation shares power and never usurps it. 4 Sickness is idolatry, because it is the belief that power can be taken from you. 5 Yet this is impossible, because you are part of God, Who is all power."

"You made the god of sickness, and by making him you made yourself able to hear him. 5 Yet you did not create him, because he is not the Will of the Father. 6 He is therefore not eternal and will be unmade for you the instant you signify your willingness to accept only the eternal."

"You can give up the god of sickness for your brothers; in fact, you would have to do so if you give him up for yourself. 5 For if you see the god of sickness anywhere, you have accepted him. 6 And if you accept him you will bow down and worship him, because he was made as God's replacement. 7 He is the belief that you can choose which god is real. 8 Although it is clear this has nothing to do with reality, it is equally clear that it has everything to do with reality as you perceive it."

"Miracles enable you to heal the sick and raise the dead." "You made sickness and death and therefore can abolish both."

"You can do anything I ask. 2 I have asked you to perform miracles, and have made it clear that miracles are natural, corrective, healing and universal. 3 There is nothing they cannot do, but they cannot be performed in the spirit of doubt or fear. 4 When you are afraid of anything, you are acknowledging its power to hurt you. 5 Remember that where your heart is, there is your treasure also. 6 You believe in what you value. 7 If you are afraid, you are valuing wrongly. 8 Your understanding will then inevitably value wrongly, and by endowing all thoughts with equal power will inevitably destroy peace. 9 That is why the Bible speaks of "the peace of God which passeth understanding." 10 This peace is totally incapable of being shaken by errors of any kind. 11 It denies the ability of anything not of God to affect you. 12 This is the proper use of denial. 13 It is not used to hide anything, but to correct error. 14 It brings all error into the light, and since error and darkness are the same, it corrects error automatically.

T-2.II.2. True denial is a powerful protective device. 2 You can and should deny any belief that error can hurt you. 3 This kind of denial is not a concealment but a correction. 4 Your right mind depends on it. 5 Denial of error is a strong defense of truth, but denial of truth results in miscreation, the projections of the ego. 6 In the service of the right mind the denial of error frees the mind, and re-establishes the freedom of the will. 7 When the will is really free it cannot miscreate, because it recognizes only truth."

This is a conclusion I've come to over time, and I'll explain why it makes sense to me.

God is whole. Everything God does is whole. When God creates he fully creates. What he creates is fully created and is whole.

"We have also emphasized that man, insofar as the term relates to Soul, has not only been fully Created, but also been created perfect. There is no emptiness in him."

God is a creator and has many thoughts. Each of those many thoughts are also whole thoughts, and thoughts of wholeness. Each of those thoughts contains the other thoughts, because there is one wholeness shared by all of them - that's oneness.

"God created His Sons by extending His Thought and retaining the extensions of His Thought in His Mind. ALL His Thoughts are thus perfectly united within themselves and with each other because they, were created neither partially nor in part."

God has created many children, each of which therefore must be whole, and they all share the whole of God.

Now, in terms of relationship, God can ONLY relate fully. With each of those thoughts or created beings, God must have a full-on complete relationship. It is a whole relationship, in which God shares the whole of Himself. And all of Himself is received by his creations.

If you take a definition of "personal", to mean that you get the fullest most undivided attention, where someone totally commits to you and gives to you without any lack or limitation, ie you're getting "fully personal service", then God IS giving fully personal service. He is giving you ALL of the attention and service possible for anyone to ever receive. The best personal service you ever had.

God gives his full total whole attention and being to one child. That child receives the whole of God. God does not lack or limit or hold back anything he is sharing with that one child. The relationship they have is totally whole. Therefore as far as that child is concerned, God is being fully attentive, fully relating, fully present, fully focused and fully giving to them.

That is the MAXIMUM amount of personal service possible in any scenario. It's not even possible for God to be MORE personal, because he is meeting ALL of the needs of that child. He is giving them absolutely everything. There is no definition of getting fully personal attention from God than this.

The truth also is that EACH of the children of God are being given the FULL attention of God. God is wholly fully giving all of himself to child A, and to child B, and to child C. This is where God's abilities transcend ordinary states of spatial relationship, limitations, compartments and categories.

God is omnipresent. This not only means that God is everywhere but it also means that all of God is in every part of God fully, simultaneously, and without restriction or limit. God is actually capable of giving FULL attention to any given part, while also giving FULL attention to any other part.

All the parts of God, all of his creations, therefore individually experience a full, whole, completely, total, unlimited relationship with their creator. EACH of them experiences God as fully and wholly relating with them personally. Not that God is distracted with other children, or only has a short amount of time to spare.

God is entirely 100% personally attending to each child individually. Every child of God has God's full attention at all times, in a maximally personal relationship. And every child of God is receiving all of God at all times, without there being conflict, because they all share God's omnipresent transcendental nature.

This means that God is fully personal in relationship with each child. But God is also fully giving the same fullness to each child. This means there is no difference between what God is giving to one child, or what God is giving to another child. God is giving the same total wholeness to child A, and child B, and child C. They are all treated equally and fully.

Therefore, this means that God is truly being "impersonal", in the sense that none of his children are receiving SPECIAL FAVOR, and every one of them is receiving the fullness of his attention. Each child has a fully total personal whole relationship with ALL of God. While from God's perspective, he is having this full total relationship with EACH child simultaneously, and fully, without limit.

God therefore is impersonal because every single creation is related to in the SAME way, with the same wholeness and fullness and love. Nothing is given to one which is not given to another. EACH child of God has the WHOLE of God. Every child of God has EVERYTHING. All the children of God share ALL of God, and the same one whole is shared by them all. That is their oneness in holographic relationship with the whole, as whole parts.

This means, in conclusion, that God is fully entirely personal in relationship with EACH of his creations, and yet simultaneously is fully entirely personal in relationship to EVERY creation, and is therefore ALSO fully impersonal. Impersonal does not mean remote and distant and cold. It means not differentiating between any two persons, and not giving something different to one and not another.

Being impersonal is inclusive, but many people think that being personal is exclusive. And this is why many people think God cannot be personal. It is also why many people think God is COMPLETELY impersonal, without ANY "personal" (ie not fully attentive) relationship at all, which portrays God as some kind of remote uncaring generalized abstract blob that has no real personal relationship with ANYONE. That is not what God is like.

Similarly, because in the world of form and ego, people recognize that ego is selfish and exclusive, many of us also think that being personal is an ego thing. That it means exclusive, or something applies to one person and not another, or someone gets special treatment, or that someone is lacking something that another has. That is an earthly definition of "personal", based on separation, and rooted in the ego thought system. It is NOT the proper definition of personal as it applies to God.

God gives all of himself to every child, in a fully personal relationship, while also giving all of himself to the whole of creation at once, transcending earthly limits and seeming to do the impossible - being wholly in relationship with multiple beings at the same time without the slightest indication of loss or limitation or sacrifice or compromise or being distracted or special.

This is why I firmly believe God to be BOTH impersonal and personal. Fully personal, indeed MORE personal than any kind of ego-based specialness idea of personal, MORE personal than even a single person receiving something exclusively that others lack. MORE personal than the ego's definition of personal, which is a definition of lack and limitation and selfishness and hoarding. God is MORE personal than what most people think would be a maximal amount of "personal".

It is also why God is fully impersonal, in the MOST spiritual way. Impersonal not in a cold detached remote way, but in terms of absolute equality and fairness, totally treating every single person in the same way, relating with the same ONE unconditional love towards EVERYONE at the same time, and giving everything TO everyone simultaneously. This is far beyond the ego's definition of impersonal relationship, and is the guarantee that God fully personally relates to EACH AND EVERY child of God in exactly the same absolute way.

You can see these facts reflected in many statements from A Course in Miracles. For example Jesus speaks about revelations, which are communications FROM GOD, to an INDIVIDUAL soul, in which the soul experiences a HIGHLY PERSONAL relationship with God, which doesn't even entail the inclusion of others. This relationship moment reflects the original form of communication between God and ONE child, which continues to be a reflection of the PERSONAL aspect of God's relationship with EACH child.

God knows YOU personally, and fully. You have a full total whole relationship with God, personally. But at the same time, God has personal full relationships with your brothers. And his treatment of the whole Kingdom as one is his impersonal consistency and honesty with every creation. This is why I believe God to be A PERSON (or, an "impersonal fully-personal person"), why the Holy Spirit is A PERSON, why the children of God are PERSONS, and why being a person/being is completely natural. We all share everything with everyone.

"Revelation is intensely personal"

"He DOES want revelation brought to others. This cannot be done with the actual revelation, because its content cannot be expressed, and it is intensely personal to the mind which receives it."

"Revelations induce complete but temporary suspension of doubt and fear. They represent the original form of communication between God and His Souls"

"God HAS kept your kingdom for you, but He cannot share His joy with you until you know it with your whole mind."

"The purpose of the Atonement is to restore everything TO you. You had everything when you were created, just as everyone did."

"Each Soul knows God completely. This IS the miraculous power of the Soul. The fact that each Soul has this power completely is a fact that is entirely alien to human thinking, in which if any ONE has everything, there is nothing LEFT."

When we say something is unnatural, we think of it being creepy, disgusting, maybe bad for your health, opposed to the way that a loving person would be, not supposed to be happening, a bad idea, going against the grain and sure to produce suffering etc.

The world is unnatural. God did not create it.

We think of it is "natural", and we call it natural. We think of "nature" and all the forests and oceans and trees and animals and plants and fish in the sea, and puppies and kittens and rainbows and sunsets, we think it is all natural. Part of the "nature" of how things are in this so-called universe.

We even think the body is natural, part of nature, a given thing. We think having babies is natural. We think that dying is natural. We think that growth and evolution are natural. We think it is natural to be able to see and sense things with the body. We think it is natural that we are here and that we should enjoy it as much as possible then die. All of this is UN-NATURAL.

We even think that this universe is run by natural laws. We think there are laws of physics, chemistry, biology, which govern the functioning of all things we see. Laws about how two being have relationships. Laws about having to eat food and consume liquids from the external world in order to survive. We think surviving is natural. We think wanting to avoid death is natural, and yet believe death is natural. All of the ego's laws are unnatural. They are laws of chaos.

We may even think that this world is SO natural that God created it, with its natural beauty and its lovely sunsets and beautiful animals and wonderful ocean beaches. But are these things natural, an extension of the "true nature" of being, true nature of Creation or a loving creator? No.

Nothing in this world is natural. Nothing to do with our bodies is natural. Nothing in this entire physical universe is natural. This is an UNNATURAL PLACE TO BE. This world is not your home!

You would only come to recognize this IF you were to become aware of a DIFFERENT way of existing which you knew was incredibly natural, and that by contrast to it, you could recognize that the physical world is so incredibly unnatural by comparison.

Is it natural that light can be blocked by form and then produces shadows of darkness? Does that seem natural? What if it is natural that light is everywhere and darkness (matter) cannot block it at all?

Is it natural that things are born and multiply and change and evolve and grow and wither and die? How about if cell division is separation and fragmentation? How about if an increasing population is a sign of increasing fragmentation? How about if growth and change are symptomatic of trying to CHANGE GOD, and to cover up permanence? What if change and time are unnatural?

What if you experienced permanence and knew it to be changeless and constant and consistent and something you can truly TRUST and RELY ON, and then could contrast the world against that to recognize that the world is utterly UNRELIABLE, cannot be trusted, and that its changes are a pathetic substitute for life?

Change itself is an expression of the idea that we left God. Something changed. What we were experiencing before, stopped being our experience and we shifted to something else. Reality seems to adjust, change, adapt, become forever altered, incapable of returning to how it was previously. Hence time and space, which are UNNATURAL. The body itself is an idea of SIN made flesh and projected outwards. The entire physical universe is the idea of SIN projected outwards. That's hardly natural, more like a cancerous growth.

Change is not natural. Change is an illusion of impossibility - that you are succeeding in changing yourself into something you are not, and changing God's will against His will. Is this world God's will? Not in the slightest. A loving God could not create a world like this and subject his Children to it and be loving.

Is it natural for bodies to sense environments and to have the environment tell the body what exists? This is not natural. What exists is WITHIN YOU ALREADY. To have to "sense" what is out there is a poor substitute, an attempt to suggest that you have NO INNER VISION and therefore need to ask SOMETHING ELSE to tell you what exists. How unnatural is that? The bodies eyes are made to make you blind, not to make you see what exists. The world that the body looks upon is NOT THERE.

How can it be in God's nature, for any of the things that we witness in this world to be correlated with complete unconditional love and perfect PERMANENT creation? All things that perish and wither and die, including bodies, cannot be God's creation. God did not create trees and animals and people and planets. God can only create more of what he ALREADY IS, which is pure love. Nothing else. No exceptions. Anything else showing up is UNNATURAL. Something has gone wrong.

Miracles are supposed to be happening ALL THE TIME. When miracles are not happening all the time, something has gone wrong. This is because miracles express the timeless perfection and TRUTH of Love, the NATURE of God. The NATURE of real existence. It is natural to be miraculous. It is natural to be capable of ANYTHING. There is NOTHING your holiness cannot do.

When you are failing to be able to do hardly anything, but move a little body around and only do things which the body says you can do, having no direct power of the mind over matter, and no ability to affect anything external from the body, SOMETHING HAS GONE WRONG. The body was made to block vision, to block life, to block God. It is not natural to be in or showing up as a body. It goes against your God-given nature.

Miracles express the idea that what is of God is SUPERNATURAL. Or to put it more accurately, everything of God is truly NATURAL, and everything else is UNNATURAL. The world, bodies, life/death, growth/change, planets and stars, events in time, are all unnatural. This is not creation. God's creation has power over all of these unnatural things. Heaven has power over all these unnatural things. And all of these unnatural things are EASILY CHANGED if so desired, by the power of the mind.

Miracles always PROVE that the mind is more powerful than the body/form/illusion because they are capable of changing those things at will, or making or unmaking them at will, and those things can do NOTHING to prevent it. All miracles demonstrate that the mind is more powerful than the body. As demonstrations, they demonstrate what us "nature-believers" would call SUPER-NATURAL. Beyond the nature of THIS world, beyond what we think is NATURAL, because what we think is natural is NOT NATURAL.

The ego's laws are not natural. Death is not natural. Aging is not natural. Sickness is not natural. Needing to DEPEND ON something in the world to exist and survive is NOT NATURAL. We are supposed to be FULLY SUSTAINED BY THE LOVE OF GOD AT ALL TIMES, needing NOTHING ELSE. That's what is natural. Powered by love! We have no other real needs. All other needs are UNNATURAL NEEDS that we made up to replace nature, not to be nature.

When miracles demonstrate that the ego's "nature" is BULLSHIT, perhaps by instantly reversing blindness, or curing cancer, or rematerializing a missing limb, or raising someone's body from death, or curing a mental illness, or parting the ocean, or walking on water, or whatever... it is only POSSIBLE because the ego's world is UNNATURAL. What is NATURAL is to be completely free of the ego's laws, able to totally overthrow them, to IGNORE them, to demonstrate that NONE OF THEM APPLY, and therefore prove that THIS WORLD'S "NATURE" IS NOT THE WAY THINGS ARE. The world's nature is fake nature.

It is natural to be with God. It is natural to be happy all the time. It is natural to be miraculous all the time. It is is natural to receive absolutely all needs and supplies directly from God, even if that means materializing items out of thin air on demand. It is natural to be directed by God's will where to go and what to do and what to say and how to heal.

It is natural to be in a permanent state of HEALTH and HEALING. It is natural to be a healer at all times. It is natural to be awake and free of all fear, sin, guilt, suffering, sickness and death. It is natural to be IMMORTAL. It is natural to have total power over all illusions, all forms, bodies, worldly "laws" and everything else which is ego bullshit lies. That's what's natural.

God's nature is the only true nature. All other natures are false. You want the nature of the world and its naturalness? The world holds NOTHING that you want. You really want God. That's the nature you should be recognizing as real.

Sometimes it seems as though, to say something like "Heaven and earth are opposites" is actually a statement of separation. This is because whenever we talk in terms of "two" of something we think there is duality at work. That both of the two things being compared exist.

If you compare an apple to an orange for example, both seem to exist in the same realm and so you can make a comparison. One is orange, one is red (depending on what apples you like ;-)

However, if you compare something that does exist, to something that does not exist, this isn't the same logical comparison. Comparing everything to nothing, is not like putting the two things side beside within a realm where both exist, being able to look at one then look at the other and ask yourself how they differ.

You actually cannot truly compare everything to nothing, and nor does it mean there is a duality, and nor does it mean there is a separation. Only conceptually, and imaginatively, could you ever think it possible to actually strike a comparison between everything and nothing, because nothing is... well, nothing at all.

If love, heaven, God, truth, reality, eternity, creation, sonship, is EVERYTHING, there is no room for anything opposite to compare it to. There is nowhere to be and nowhere to go outside of this everything to FIND something opposite.

So then when we draw a logical comparison between everything and nothing, we're not "making separation real" by contrasting them, we're actually showing that because ONLY love is real, and because only everything exists (in God, not earth), whatever else we're comparing it to DOES NOT EXIST ANYWHERE AT ALL.

If truly we grasp that that second item does not exist whatsoever, we are actually NOT making a real separation. And we would have to also understand that this means, love HAS no opposite in truth. The truth of the logic is that there IS NOT a separation because ONLY ONE OF THEM EXISTS.

Here is how Jesus speaks of this:

"Perfect love casts out fear. If fear exists, Then there is not perfect love. But: Only perfect love exists. If there is fear, It produces a state that does not exist. Believe this and you will be free."

"The truth is simple; it is one without an opposite. "

"Love is a law without an opposite. There is no love but God's, and what He is, is everything there is. "

"There is no death because what God created shares His Life. There is no death because an opposite to God does not exist. "

"You cannot join with anything except reality. God's glory and His Son's belong to you in truth. They have no opposite, and nothing else can you bestow upon yourself."

"In me is love perfected, fear impossible, and joy established without opposite."

To compare everything to nothing, you MUST also be aware that the nothingness DOES NOT EXIST, and therefore, THERE IS ONLY THE EVERYTHING. If there is only the everything, the thing which was said to be "nothing" DOES NOT EVEN EXIST AT ALL. It has zero existence. So all that remains, is what God created, which is 100% of existence in heaven.

Now, sometimes, the Course will tell us something in slightly subtler terms, like this:

"Heaven and earth are opposite in every way."

So once again, we need to realize what this is saying. Since heaven is EVERYTHING THAT REALLY EXISTS, and since Earth (planet earth) is the "opposite", planet Earth DOES NOT EXIST AT ALL, because it is nothing. Love, heaven, does not HAVE a "real opposite", only a fake opposite. Therefore, there is no earth, there is no world, and ONLY HEAVEN IS REAL. Meaning, only heaven exists, SO THERE IS NO SEPARATION. Recognizing this does not create a split in the mind or emphasize separation, because to properly understand this is to recognize that THERE IS NO OPPOSITE.

Heaven and earth are opposites, but this actually MEANS, that earth does not exist at all! Heaven is everything God created, earth is NOTHING that God created and has no reality or existence. It is an illusion of something existing which does not. Earth is nothing. It WILL disappear into the NOTHINGNESS from which it came.

This therefore tells us, logically, that because Heaven HAS no opposite, and Earth was "part of" what we were saying is an opposite to Heaven, Earth does not exist NOW, and it will not exist LATER, and therefore it CANNOT ever be a part of heaven, or converted into heaven, or translated into heaven, or merged into heaven, or joined together WITH heaven.

There is nothing here that can be joined! This *ILLUSION* of a planet showing up, is ONLY AN ILLUSION, not a real thing. It's not there! You're sitting on a seat which does not exist at all! There IS no world TO become one with heaven in any way! Not now, not a year ago, and not in the future. Similarly, "at no point in time does the body really exist", and the earth is just another body.

The course CANNOT be teaching that Earth and Heaven will merge together, become one, unify, or transcend the separation between the two.Here is the part where people get CONFUSED LOGICALLY about what the Course is saying:

"Heaven and earth shall pass away’ means that they will not continue to exist as separate states."

First remember heaven is everything God created that DOES exist. Second remember that earth as its total opposite (and unlike it in every way), DOES NOT EXIST AT ALL.

The IDEA that there are two states, that Heaven HAS a REAL OPPOSITE, will pass away. That idea was the idea that Earth was in fact real, existed, was alongside heaven somehow, and could be compared to it! That was FALSE. That was a result SEPARATION. When separation is undone, it is recognized, perfectly logically, that HEAVEN NEVER DID HAVE AN OPPOSITE, Earth NEVER WAS ITS "REAL" OPPOSITE only an imaginary one, Earth NEVER EXISTED AT ALL IN THE FIRST PLACE, THERE IS NO WORLD, and therefore, Heaven and Earth are no longer "opposites" because ***ONLY HEAVEN EVER EXISTED AND HEAVEN HAS NO OPPOSITE****.

(ok ok, too much all-caps ;-)

If you get this LOGIC, which should be completely clear, and is bulletproof, then you will understand what the course is telling us about why "there is no world". There is no earth OR separate universe from God's universe. The world we made, never did exist at all. There IS no opposite to heaven TO translate into heaven. Heaven will REPLACE earth and ONLY HEAVEN WILL BE LEFT, because only heaven exists NOW.

"There is no life outside of heaven" literally means, love has no opposite, heaven has no opposite, and anything which is categorized as its opposite DOES NOT EXIST. Anything categorized as its opposite, IF believed to actually exist, will create a STATE WHICH DOES NOT EXIST, and will be experienced as FEAR! The world, that we made, planet earth and so on, IS MADE OF FEAR. It is an illusion and is not even here at all! 0% existing! Absolutely just a figment of your imagination. Never existed 15 billion years ago, will not exist 15 billion years from now, DOES NOT EXIST NOW.

Earth is NOT life, because ONLY HEAVEN IS LIFE. Earth is therefore DEATH, and its "life forms" are ALL DEATH FORMS. They are the opposite of life, NOT REAL LIFE. Eternal life does not shift and change and grow and suffer and die. Eternal life is not a form or an animal or a tree or a human being body. This is a DREAM OF DEATH, because it is a dream of experiencing something that is opposite to heaven that does not really exist, but we are thinking it does. It's pure fiction, and a LOGICAL ERROR.

Heaven HAS no opposite. Life HAS no opposite. Earth is NOT REALLY the opposite of heaven right now because heaven HAS no REAL opposite, and therefore, THERE IS NO WORLD. There is nothing here in this world, as this world, TO become part of heaven, ever. Not ever. Not even in some special twisted magical way that manipulates the words in the course with wishful thinking to make it SEEM as if earth becomes part of heaven because "the two real opposites" of earth and heaven cease being opposites. This is a total logical fallacy. You can never compare "all and nothing" and claim they are BOTH existing.

Only heaven is real. Only the creations of light are real. Only God's creation is real. Earth does not exist. There is no world. This is the central thought the course would attempt to teach. The central core thought of the atonement principle, that SEPARATION DID NOT HAPPEN, and therefore THERE IS NO WORLD that came about as a "real alternative" to Heaven. There is no world, IS THE ATONEMENT. It is confirmation and PROOF, experientially, that planet earth DOES NOT EXIST AT ALL. And in this *recognition*, what appeared to exist, WILL DISAPPEAR AND VANISH without a trace, because IT WAS NEVER ACTUALLY THERE TO BEGIN WITH!!!!!!!

WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT THIS WORLD, given the stunning beauty and magnificence of God's Kingdom? You think this world is a fantastic place? Even the forgiven world in all its loveliness, sparkling in the light with no guilt upon it, IT STILL NO COMPARISON to heaven. Earth will always be a "strange world you made", which in comparison to heaven, if it were possible to compare them, is UGLY and LIMITED. It is not the world you want. It is not your home. God did not create it. And there is world God DID create, heaven, which YOU DO WANT, and which is the only world lofty enough to be appropriate for the Son of God.

Earth does not exist.

"Forgive them for they know not what they do" applies to anyone who believes in separation, because literally a state of ego-mindedness renders you unaware of what you are doing or why.

When you are whole minded you'll see the whole truth. Everything will be in its correct perspective. The truth will be obvious and you'll easily recognize it as true. And in contrast to it, anything that is not true will be very obviously false. There is no effort required in that, only awareness of the whole picture.

In awareness of everything, you need do nothing about the ego because you will recognize it is not real and doesn't exist. It merely needs to be seen for what it is, an illusion, which has disappeared and never was. It is made of nothing and is nothing.

But when separation is introduced to your mind, something else happens. It makes you unconscious to some degree. Separation is a form of denial or a block to awareness, so it blocks out awareness of some parts of the whole picture. It leaves you in a state of partial perception. It's like someone just hid a bunch of facts.

In particular, the truth, which was clear and obvious, becomes obscure and hidden. And without a clear awareness of the whole truth, you don't have a barometer to compare and contrast everything else to in order to find out if its true or false. It's like you forgot what reality is like, so now you're confused about whether what you're experiencing is reality or not.

Without the truth, and with key facts concealed by denial, your mind is now in a state where it is semi-conscious. It does not really realize it is not fully conscious, because it isn't aware of the stuff it isn't aware of. So it thinks it is fully conscious. Even a mind which is severely unconscious and limited still believes that it is fully aware of everything.

At all times, we believe that we're aware of the whole truth, every fact, every detail, and every piece of evidence, regardless of whether we are. Whatever we are perceiving we always believe it is the whole truth. And we are always assuming that we are 100% objective in our perception. We also assume that we are completely unbiased and perceiving clearly and without distorting anything at all, which is far from the truth when the mind has blocks in it (there are no neutral thoughts).

On the basis of this, we also then "make sense" of what reality seems to mean, based on the extent of our awareness, or the facts that we do still have access to. But if we don't actually have all the facts, something strange happens. We come to conclusions, trying to make sense of what we're seeing, based on what we are aware of. And if that means, that we are not aware of what is really causing something, we will try to come up with an alternative cause for things.

So because we're unconscious, we don't "see" that we actually cause everything, that we made the world, that we have orchestrated all events, and that we have attacked ourselves. The causality or the act of choosing to do that, is outside of awareness. So then it seems to us, in partial consciousness, that stuff happens seemingly out of nowhere, unjustified and uncalled for and unfair, as if it happens against your conscious will. It seems like another will has willed stuff to happen, without your permission, and so now you are victimized by it. Yet it it is your own will, unconsciously, making poor choices.

Based on this unawareness, and given only the limited information you have, you'll then try to make sense out of it, you'll assess the evidence, look around you, seek inside you for any sign that you made something happen, and failing to find awareness of such a cause or intention, you'll "rationally conclude" that it must've been someone else. You will then be convinced it's an external cause, or someone else willed against you, or the world did it to you, making you an unfairly treated victim.

This will all seem to make total sense to you. Because you're always trying to make sense of what you perceive, or to understand what it means based on the limited truth. So it seems to make sense, based on not having all the evidence, that other people are guilty sinners and they're attacking you and you are justified in revenge and anger.

You don't become angry on a basis of just being an angry person or as a random thing or just some reaction. You only become angry because to your consciousness, unable to see the full picture, it seems to make total sense to you that it is justified and correct and a truthful conclusion, based on what you're aware of. You look around you and do not see what you did to yourself, or any other signs that you chose it, and so this leads to obvious yet false conclusions about the scapegoats who must've been the cause.

You can't help it, either. In essence, you are not doing this on purpose to be an asshole. You're not intentionally, in your right mind, trying to be hurtful or scapegoat. You are actually simply acting very "naturally" in accord with the scope of your awareness and the resulting effect on your thought system. In essence, anyone who comes to believe in separation, MUST see themselves as being victimized. The mind simply cannot see itself attacking itself so its only option to so believe someone else is responsible.

It's pretty much automatic. Anyone with an ego will react with anger. Anyone with an ego will see themselves treated poorly. Anyone with an ego will hallucinate and be convinced that there are causes outside of their own will doing stuff to them. Anyone with an ego will see themselves as not the cause of problems, but rather at the effect of them, helplessly, and that this is indeed an unfair attack.

There is nothing special at all about the conditions and conclusions that arise in ego mindedness. It is completely predictable, and it applies to absolutely anyone who enters separation. It's like, if you choose separation, you are guaranteed to see yourself as being victimized. And anyone who does this will see themselves this way and will then react to these false conclusions of external causes.

This is why all ego behaviors are forgivable. They are forgivable because, literally, anyone acting in the ego in this way, as a victim or victimizer, MUST NOT see themselves correctly. They are mistaken. They are not aware. They are not aware of the evidence, they don't see the whole picture, they're not aware of what the truth is, they cannot see their own causal power, they are unaware of their own influence over their own perceptions, they don't even recognize their own identity, and they are very confused about what is what.

Any behaviors or attitudes that stem from this state of unawareness HAS to be forgivable, if you can be aware of the larger picture yourself and recognize the simple mistakes that people are making. A person is not trying to be an asshole attacker. They are actually quite naturally reacting and trying to make sense of their distorted reality, based on an inability to see the whole truth. They're literally doing the best they can, or at least are reactive very predictably based on their mental illness.

This is why anyone in the ego is forgivable. Anyone in the ego is simply mistaken. It does not call for attack or revenge. It does not call for condemnation or judgement. It does not call for making guilty or sinful. If you can be in the whole picture and aware of the whole truth, it is obvious once again what is what.

It's obvious that people hurt themselves. It's obvious that people think they know what is true when they don't. It's obvious that they are calling for help. It's obvious that they are confused and hallucinating. It's obvious that they think they sinned when they didn't. It's obvious that they are following perfectly logically consistent conclusions based on the limited information they have. And it's obvious they are not trying to be "bad" or evil on purpose, they're simply unconscious and mentally ill.

People are upset and angry and confused and lashing out only because they have come to believe false truths about what is really happening. They do not see. They are asleep. They think that something bad has happened to them unfairly and people are out to get them and they need to be afraid and defenses are justified and counter-attack is survival. They're acting completely logically and predictably based on their state of awareness, or rather their 'ignorance' of the whole truth. They simply do not know what they are doing.

This is why from the highest levels, you can only have compassion and be forgiving. Forgiveness is justified in the big picture because it recognizes and sees the whole picture, has all the information, can see who does what to whom, sees no victims, does not believe any of the distorted illusions or false conclusions, and simply recognizes that people are mistaken. Awareness of the truth shows you what is true and what is false, clearly and obviously.

All sins are forgivable, because even the idea of sin is just another part of being unconscious and not aware of the whole truth. Sins are forgivable because in truth they cannot cause consequences and have no real effects. Sins are forgivable because no-one can really sin and no-one has really sinned, they just think they have, because there is key information unavailable to them. Blocks to awareness are responsible for all mistaken conclusions.

We simply need someone to tap us on the shoulder the middle of our hissy fit,to remind us, hey.... that thing you thought happened, it didn't happen. You did not hurt anyone. You did not make bad stuff happen. Other people are not trying to destroy you. You actually are doing this to yourself. There is more truth that you do not see or realize. Everything is actually ok. God has taken care of everything. Nothing is out of place. You are still worthy of love. Everything is still exactly in its correct place and everything in heaven is still continuing without missing a single note in heaven's song. It's all good.

In the physical world we often think of quantum physics as the pinnacle of scientific success in describing "reality". The more you dig into it the more subtle it becomes. Quantum flux, string theory, unified theories of gravity, multi-dimensional realities, anti-matter and dark-matter, black holes, notions of how consciousness plays a part in forming spacetime etc.

But here is the truth of it. Quantum physics is the study of an illusory world, using separation-based scientific mathematics, confirmed using illusory physical experiments, studied by illusory bodies, drawing conclusions based on a MASSIVE assumption that this world has any reality at all.

It seems at times that the physics tells us truths which might previously have only been the domain of religion or mysticism. Such that the physical nature of objects isn't wholly real, matter comes in and out of seeming existence, particles have probabilities of location which only forms into matter when observed, etc. They've done all kinds of experiments which seem to reveal at least some of the properties of spacetime.

This then leads to the idea that quantum physics is a kind of new scientific spirituality, or that it's proving things that transcend the illusory nature of the world. But we have to be clear here. It is still a mathematical scientific study of a dream world. Even at the lowest level.

Beyond quarks and muons and all manner of exotic particles, beyond the quantum fields and flux, this is all still part of a dream. At some level they still believe that the basis of all of this is reality, even if they are willing to entertain the idea that the surface layers are illusory. They never actually go so far as to say that the universe is absolutely nothing and does not exist. They won't touch ever on the idea that God is real, and they always stop short of heaven.

Here is the main problem. All of this theoretical physics is based on extremely advanced math. Math is based on the idea of separation, that one thing is not another thing. That all the numbers are separate in their values and are not the same. 1 is not 2 and 2 is different than 3. These are the 'quantum' building blocks of the physics itself. Provided numbers remain separate, then you can do math with them. You can calculate things and come up with equations. But what if numbers themselves are flawed?

In heaven's reality, the truth is that 1+1=1. And no matter how many times you "add one" (create a soul), the sum total is still 1, because they are still "one with God". There are all kinds of ways that this plays out. For example the idea that you can share an idea and retain the idea and yet both people now have the idea - the idea that giving and receiving are one, and that you lose nothing by giving everything. This is TOTALLY incompatible with the idea of numbers.

I have 1, and I give 1 to you. And now you have 1, I should have 0. But I don't. We both have 1. And moreso, it's the same one. It shouldn't ever be possible for me to have the whole of something, while you simultaneously have the whole of something, and it be the same whole. In the world of separate numbers, transferring value to you takes it away from me, and to give is to sacrifice. I lose by sharing. 1+1=2 really means separation and separation produces two separate things. It does not speak of oneness.

The entire system of math is fundamentally based on laws of separation, which is based on the ego thought system of separation from God. So that means that now we're trying to do mathematical physics based on laws of separation, trying to describe a reality that is beyond separation. All we end up doing is describing THE separation, ie a separated state, and regarding it as the whole of reality. This is what quantum physics is doing. It is blind to God and blind to heaven's nature.

When God extends the whole of himself, he gives all that he has to his creation, and yet he ALSO retains it all. He does not lose anything by giving it. He shares. Now his creation has everything, and so does he.

This would also suggest to the ego and to math, that if that first created being has everything, there is nothing left for anyone else to have. And yet God can create a second creation by sharing the whole of what he has with it, giving it everything, and now it ALSO has everything. And now two have everything. Two have the same value. And equal value is the Golden Rule.

"Each Soul knows God completely. This IS the miraculous power of the Soul. The fact that each Soul has this power completely is a fact that is entirely alien to human thinking, in which if any ONE has everything, there is nothing LEFT."

You can't describe that using math other than to say 1+1=1. Or you can even say 2=1. Well, now if the value of 2 is the same as the value of 1, and those two things ARE each other, because they are totally equated, then ALL numbers equal 1. That's what oneness is about. The many created children of God sharing everything and therefore having the same whole and the same value. That means ALL numbers equal 1.

You cannot DO math when all numbers have the same value. You cannot do quantum physics or ANY kind of physics. Heaven is NOT quantum physics and it is not run by quantum physics. It's laws transcend all of space and time and the laws of separation.

So you have to be kind of careful when you put the ego's triumph of extremely complicated analysis and calculations on a pedestal and call it "reality". They are not even studying reality, they're studying an illusion of a world that doesn't exist, under the assumption that it has reality. They don't even know what reality means. It's all a calculated guess, and it's all mistaken. Just as all beliefs in separation are mistaken.

E=MC squared which supposedly tells you the relationship of mass and energy vs speed of light and how time changes relatively and so on.... it's all made up. It might seem to roughly and closely correlate to a world of separation. Yes. Because THIS world, this illusion of a world, IS based on separation.

So it naturally SEEMS to line up with separation-based physics. The math SEEMS to correlate. AND the whole separate system of spacetime is so seemingly stable, most of the time, that you can even do experiments IN spacetime that seem to prove or correlate to what the theory says should happen. That's how they "validate" their physics. But all this is really doing is taking an illusory world, studying it with illusory means, using its illusory nature to correlate to illusory predictions, and then when they match up they claim that this is truth. It is nothing of the sort.

All that quantum physics can do is describe roughly and incorrectly and from a very false-perception vantage point, what appears to be the nature and workings of an hallucinated unreal world, without truly acknowledging its unreality. All of the "laws of physics" such as gravity, seem to be observable phenomena because of the fact that Newton got bopped on the head with an apple one day. But there are no apple trees in heaven and stuff doesn't fall on people's heads.

What this really boils down to is, the body is being used to try to tell you what the truth about the body is. And on that matter, the body is entirely biased and ONLY will tell you that the body IS real. We are using a device to try to discern whether the world exists, based on the fact that the body MAKES the world seem real.

"Only the body makes the world seem real." And then we're assuming that its reality can be studied and verified and proven. All we're doing is using a biased apparatus to make a REFLECTION of the world and are calling it a unified theory of reality. But a reflection of hell is not the truth.

You cannot look to science to tell you what is ultimately true. You CAN look to science to tell you in most cases what seems to be true in a fairly "stable" unreal world. You can use it to measure your body. You can use it to evaluate the redshift of starlight. You can use it to calculate approximately the motion of objects. But you CANNOT use it to tell you, in the big picture, ANYTHING REAL.

"I am under no laws but God's".

"There are no laws but God's. Dismiss all foolish magical beliefs today, and hold your mind in silent readiness to hear the Voice that speaks the truth to you."

"I am under no laws but God's. I am constantly tempted to make up other laws, and give them power over me. I suffer only because of my belief in them. They have no real effect on me at all. I am perfectly free of the effects of all laws save God's. And His are the laws of freedom."

"I am entitled to miracles because I am under no laws but God's. His laws release me from all grievances, and replace them with miracles. And I would accept the miracles in place of the grievances, which are but illusions that hide the miracles beyond."

"The Holy Spirit is invisible, but you CAN see the results of His Presence, and through them, you will learn that He is there. What He enables you to do is clearly NOT of this world, for miracles violate every law of reality, as this world judges it. Every law of time and space, of magnitude and mass, of prediction and control, is transcended, for what the Holy Spirit enables you to do is clearly beyond ALL of them. Perceiving His RESULTS, you will understand where He MUST be, and finally KNOW what He is."

It can be very therapeutic to just listen and be still and judge not while someone expresses themeslves. This is the essence of being forgiving.

"Forgiveness … is still, and quietly does nothing. … It merely looks, and waits, and judges not" - ACIM

When we all have egos, we're all so busy not listening. We're too busy broadcasting and transmitting illusions and stories to make ourselves special.

Even if you're in a conversation with someone and you're supposedly listening, you're probably still not FULLY listening because you're not in a state of forgiveness.

Instead you're starting to mentally engage with what was said, are starting to process it, are chewing on it, judging it, judging the person, thinking about what to say, having memories of your own personal story, resisting the person and hoping they will shut up soon, etc. All of these activities mean you are not being forgiving, but it also means you are not fully listening. You're not paying full attention. You are not being fully present because you're lost in your own ego.

So then when the person speaks, they sense this. They know in the mind/energetic level that they are not being heard. They know that there are limits and boundaries in place, which you put there, which are your attempts to make them stop and shut up. Especially if you start to offer advice or talk over them or try to stop their expression. Maybe their expression is very ego and it triggers you and you just want it to stop because you can't just be still.

The result of this is that the person does not feel permitted to fully express themselves. They don't feel that you are listening, that you recognize them deep down, that you really care unconditionally, or that you even want them to continue. They will take these cues, consciously or not, and it will stop them fully expressing.

We are all so used to walking around in a world where everyone is always broadcasting that we feel terribly constipated with ego energies, feelings and expressions, which are not being ALLOWED to fully express. Nobody is listening! And that's because everyone has egos and are not in a state of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a state of mind of stillness and listening and allowing and presence and non-judgement. That's the state that we're sorely lacking in this world.

This state is a state of "holding space". It means that you are so still and clear and non-judging and present that you simply allow and listen and permit everything. You do not resist, you do not get caught up in your own thoughts, you don't get lost in your own reactions, and you don't try to stop the person. If you do this for someone and you let them just express, you will notice something really interesting happens.

Not only will they express themselves and all their ego stories, feelings and thoughts, but they will seem to really go overboard, over the top with major ego expression. Given permission that it's okay to express fully, as proven by your forgiving willingness to listen and be present, it all just comes flooding out. The person doesn't even quite know why they are doing this. They can seem to become "very ego" while they do this. YOU MUST NOT try to stop that. It's good. They are venting. Maybe for the first time someone is finally fully listening to their heart's pain and they can therefore finally let it out and let it go all the way.

People are natural expressers. Even if it's ego shit coming out and totally bullshit, they still need to express it, and not being in a situation where it's safe and okay - unconditionally okay - to be as ego as they like, it just stays stuck inside.

Also when you are in a state of holding space and being fully present with the person, where you are actually giving your FULL ATTENTION while simultaneously backing totally off from expressing anything of your own, this creates a kind of "space". That is, your intense attention connects to the person where they are, and the fact that you are totally withholding your own expression creates "space" in between the two of you. It's a space that you're not flooding with your own expressions, because you are RECEIVING.

This space is held by the mind and can actually be an energetic presence. You form it with your EMPATHY. In True Empathy you are listening intently and sharing awareness and unconditional acceptance, WITHOUT ENTERING INTO the person's problem. This is TRUE empathy. Empathising without engaging or joining in or making real the illusions that flow out in any way. And that doesn't just mean be quiet on the outside, you must be totally present and attentive INSIDE your mind as well, otherwise you are distracted with ego and are not listening.

And because there is a kind of law that nature fills a vacuum, their ego is SUCKED OUT. It pours out to fill the space. Or to put it another way, your willingness to FULLY RECEIVE allows them to FULLY EXPRESS. The person may not even realize they are really digging deep and sharing all their deep dark secrets and even stating embarassing egoic "secrets" that they never told anyone. Onlookers might judge them and label them as evil! But you have to let it just flow out into the space. Just listen, fully. Give your full attention in silence.

After the person has "finished" expressing, having been heard deeply perhaps for the first time ever, and having aired tons of dirty laundry and guilt and everything in between, they will tell you... if you succeeded in this .... they'll tell you, they feel TREMENDOUSLY PEACEFUL. They got it out! They finally could let it all out and let it go instead of having it shoved halfway down their throat by everyone else who is too self-absorbed to ever give them permission to fully express.

I have done this before, by accident. I didn't know what I was doing, but I was doing it. I recall a person at an old job who started to brag. He was a natural bragger. But as he did, instead of wanting to shut him up as such, I just paid attention and let him get on with it. I held space, sort of accidentally. And he just kept going, and going, and going. He really really vented, and started even telling me about all these secret exploits and perversions that he'd been doing, just a great big giant ego brag. He didn't even know why he was expressing so much, he just kept going! An onlooker judged him, not understanding what was happening, telling him that he should stop talking because he was making a fool of himself. But it was a HEALING.

And then,..... he wound down, and he said, he couldn't believe how peaceful he felt. He was shocked at how calm he was. It was simple. Pay full attention and be fully present without your own mental noise.

Also, if a person is quite shy or sensitive, introverted or has difficulty or fear expressing themselves, this is like GOLD. If you are like this, you know that you are very much put off by the loud intensity of everyone else's expressions, and usually you will only express yourself to one individual in a secret corner when no-one else is looking. Only if there is near silence do you feel permitted to make sound, to speak, or to express yourself. You are really sensitive and everyone's just "regular" level of expression is experienced as like LOUD. Like, they're shouting all the time and don't really want to hear you at all. And especially if the person is domineering or controlling or takes over expressing for everyone, you can bet you will just shrivel up into a hole of loneliness.

That's why sensitive people become so quiet and shy. In their spectrum of expression, they are drowned out. Loud intense or even just regular people can "shut down" sensitive people and make them even shyer, because they're never really given an opportunity to BE HEARD. People won't shut the fuck up for long enough to let them express their soft gentle expressions!

If you say to a shy sensitive person, that you're going to be totally quiet and just listen and that they can go ahead and just talk and tell you anything... anything at all, just go ahead and I'll listen quietly.... that's like GOLD. If you will trust that as a sensitive person, you will then start to express yourself, and you'll keep going, and going, and you'll explore and uncover all kinds of things that you could never tell anyone. It's SO healing and cathartic. To be heard in this overly broadcasting ultra-loud ego-screaming world, it's absolutely treasure. It touches a person. It heals them. Sometimes as a sensitive person I wish the whole world would SHUT THE FUCK UP for long enough for me to express myself.

(I WILL BE HEARD! Thanks for letting me express that, lol)

This is also partly why my expressive energies have diverted themselves into the silent, unhurried expression through typing and writing.. ... people don't shut you up when you put it down on paper.Mostly. Until they start reading it, hah. Then it's "that's too long to read, shut up". .. ie, I can't read all that text... when will *I* be able to talk about myself! lolol

Anyway. Hold space for people. It is thoroughly deeply healing. We should have healing circles where we do nothing but let people express silently. This is partly how it's set up in Alcoholics Anonymous and AlAnon and other programs with a "no cross-talk" rule... although it should be extended to a "no mental chatter either" rule. No ego.

Be quiet. Be present. Listen. Let people be fully acknowledged. This is an expression of true forgiveness.

Remember, this is part of being truly forgiving. And having the opportunity to PRACTICE this is an opportunity to be forgiving. As Jesus said:

"Forgiveness … is still, and quietly does nothing. … It merely looks, and waits, and judges not" - ACIM

Why do 'lessons' show up in your life as negative, unwanted, like things are going wrong, or something bad is happening?

Whatever your current beliefs are, your idea of truth is what you think of as 100% true. If there is anything that happens that seems to agree with these beliefs, you see those things as truth. You welcome them, see them as an ally, experience them as wanted and desirable. They reinforce your belief and confirm or provide evidence that your belief is the truth.

Even if something bad happens, let's say that you have a belief that you are unworthy of love. You will create in your life an experience where someone is mistreating you perhaps. But at first you won't really be able to see that this person is doing that, instead you'll believe that they are treating you how you are supposed to be treated, because you agree that you are unworthy. In contrast, if someone comes along and loves you unconditionally, you will recoil and attack them, certain that they are lying to you, deceiving you, and must have some secret ulterior motive. Your belief in suffering does not and cannot understand a healing presence.

So like any thought system or belief, whatever agrees with your belief you will experience as welcome and true, and anything that seems to be against your belief you will experience like it is your worst enemy. You will see everything 'false' in them and will reject them. This has nothing to do with whether they are actually the Real Truth or not, and hinges entirely around what you believe the truth is.

So now because you have a false belief, there is something that you believe falsely and so you are in need of 'learning' what the real truth is. It wouldn't really be helpful to you to send you a situation or event or person who simply exactly mirrors your own false belief, because you would see that as highly agreeable, as proof that what you believe is true. You would welcome them and learn nothing from them.

In the interests of your spiritual growth and awakening, it serves you to, instead, be given events and situations and people who seem to represent a Real Truth, or who 'carry a potential' to teach you a Real Truth, so that you will be challenged. When they show up, however, you will initially believe they fall into your 'false' category, you'll experience them as though they're your enemy, or exactly what you don't want, or you didn't ask for this, or you hate it when this happens etc. You do not yet recognize the opportunity or the benefit that's hiding in the presence of this thing. You don't recognize it AS a bringer of truth, so you think it's just there to piss you off.

Each thing that shows up in your life, that seems to be what you don't want, is put there by arrangement to help you awaken. But that means that you're going to have to go through some kind of transformation of your perspective. Your idea of truth is going to have to be challenged. It is directly challenged by what you think of as intolerably false, showing up and being *experienced* by you as unwanted, because of what you currently believe you want. You will hate and reject it and wish it weren't happening and like it's unfair and everything sucks. But, this thing, whatever it is, is actually there as your savior, attempting to help you to awaken to a shift in allegiance, from what is Truly false, to what is Truly True.

So this thing will trigger off and push your buttons and disturb your sense of status quo. It will put a crow bar in your resistance to Truth and leverage it to try to open you up. And often this happens because the thing that comes along to bother you practically 'forces' you to have to change your perspective, in order to deal with that stimuli.

For example, perhaps someone close to you becomes sick and you absolutely can't stand the fact this is happening, and it keeps triggering you, and you get upset about it a lot. Obviously this is very upsetting as though some curse has come upon your life. BUT, over the course of time, you will find that, if you are working some program of purification, healing and honesty, that this thing is triggering you only because you've got some kind of false belief or unhealed pain stuck in your awareness that needs to change.

The stimuli triggers that pain and it keeps coming up, so if you keep trying to make it go away, or if you keep trying to fix the seeming cause of the trigger - the other person or event - you are actually avoiding learning the lesson. And you WILL have this resistance to some extent especially at the beginning. Nobody in their right mind who believes they know what the truth is, would accept and not reject something that appears to be completely false. It's just that we're very mistaken about what its actually true and false.

Over time, in this example, you might come to realize that in order to not be upset and triggered, YOU need to change something about yourself. You need healing, correction, light, and a higher truth. You need to, and are often forced to, confront your own inner mental condition and belief system and bring it into question. You might even have to get down on your knees and be pleading with God before you become willing to surrender your false view of reality. But eventually, it will transform you and you will come to realize a greater truth, and you will actually let go of your false belief, and you will open up to a higher level of functioning that you never thought you were even capable of. You will find an unconditional love that you never thought you were capable of. And this was what the challenge came to give to you.

It's not until this so-called 'problem' has finished transforming you, or has 'completed the mission' that it has to stimulate your errors and to get you to look at and transform your false ATTITUDE, that it will be 'done with'. It's actually there to help you wake up, but it definitely doesn't look like this at first. It can take some time. And if you ask Holy Spirit for guidance along the way He might tell you, this is a lesson. And it's not as though the answer to the lesson is being concealed from you or made to be especially hard to 'get'... and many times you'll find yourself saying "I just don't get it!" "what am I supposed to be learning here?!".... it's just that, you need to be transformed by the situation and the transformation isn't quite complete yet. And whatever it is supposed to provoke in you, or push out of you, or get you to question, or however it's meant to open your heart or deepen your unconditionality, it has to DO that and finish doing that before the lesson is learned.

So let's say, someone comes along into your life with an attacking angry attitude. Maybe they accuse you of stuff. They seem like your enemy. They hate you. This provokes and upset you a lot and you seem victimized. You may find it unacceptable to allow them to be this way. And you may find yourself angry and having reactions and being triggered, because you believe deep down some of what they're saying. And maybe it takes time for you to realize and heal those deep-down beliefs that you have. And maybe you'll find yourself admitting, I just can't love this person.. there is just no way I can forgive and love them, I am very limited in my love.

And then if you STICK WITH IT, and persevere with learning, you will actually become willing to DIG EVEN DEEPER to find even more love and patience and unconditionality, such that you thought perhaps you could never access. And so you 'learn' how to love and forgive this person, not necessarily for their benefit, but so that YOU learn to receive and express unconditional love in the face of what appears to be an attack. And this is a GIFT that is hard-won, and this is what the attacking person was trying to GIVE you, through their role play.

So then after you've got past all the victimhood and 'why me' crap, you come to realize, the person has helped you. The person actually forced you to grow and to become more forgiving or loving or whatever. You actually gained in strength, you grew in patience, your heart opened. And that is what you needed to LEARN from this lesson. And then you can be grateful that this person came along to provoke the shit out of you, because now, on a spiritual level, you can recognize that what appeared at first to be the exact opposite of your truth, has transformed your truth to where you can now SEE, that this person is actually welcome, lovable, acceptable, forgiven - i.e. you now see Real Truth where you once saw something false.

This is why shit happens. We only see it as shit because we don't yet realize how it is not only helping us to wake up, but it is also a gift and blessing, in the bigger picture, disguised as something unwanted. It's important not to try to get rid of your lessons, or other people's lessons, or 'bad stuff', if it's meant to be there to transform you. This is not to say you have to suffer, but IF you need to grow, sometimes you need a catalist to coerce you into that growth. Into awakening. And eventually you will be grateful for every 'bad thing' that ever happened. And you can even then be grateful for what we call 'the ego', for having supplied us with every opportunity for awakening. This is how the Holy Spirit USES everything for His purposes.

Eventually it is the end of victimhood when we learn everything about the Real Truth that we need to experience it constantly. Thank you God for that.

Cause and effect means that causes produce effects. Cause is a power and effects result from it. This is only has any meaning in terms of a dreamworld because outside the dream there is no dream and no dreamer.

Either you are identified with cause, or you are identified with effect. This means either you are dreaming the dreamworld, or the dreamworld is dreaming you. When the dreamworld is dreaming you, what this really means is the dreamer of the dream is dreaming of a world in which he himself becomes identified as part of the dream, so that it seems he is dreamed by the dream - ie dreamed by himself. This is the ego's entire concept of creation.

You come into the world through what appears to be the dream giving birth to you, originating in the parent's bodies and taking the form of a baby. If this is true, then the dream has dreamed you and you are its effect. If this is true, you were created by the ego/dream and not by God. But the truth is that you are not a body or a form of a part of a dream and God DID create you, but the dream will never testify to that. As God's creation, YOU are the cause of the dreamworld and you are the one who invented ALL bodies and all body-based relationships.

Cause and effect become reversed the moment that you identify with the dream and believe that you are a part of it, made from it, or created by it. The responsibility for causal power which was inside you, capable of dreaming, is now projected outside of you AS the dream, and the dream now seems to be the causal power. The dream IS your own causal power displaced away from you and disowned.

If the dream is causal, then it is indeed true that it would seem the dream has the power to both create you (birth) and destroy you (death) at its own whim, and in complete violation of any supposed rights or power you might have. When the dreamworld is causal, YOU become its effect. As an effect, you are powerless and are a VICTIM. Whatever the dreamworld wants to throw at you, whatever it wants to do to you, however it wants to REDEFINE who and what you are, you can do nothing to stop it.

When you are the effect of the world you see, therefore, you become 'affected by' the world. It does stuff to you. It seems to change you. It seems to be capable of eliciting a REACTION in you. This is what it means to be an effect. External causes decide who and what you are, you do not. You are then a passive victim and if the world decides to CHANGE YOU in any way, to redefine your identity, to treat you a certain way as if to say that this is how you should be treated because of what you are, you can do nothing to stop it. If you believe the dream is causal, then this is what will happen to you.

In childhood, then, when you have entered the dream through a 'doorway' of birth, after which you believe that the dream has created you, you have a mind which perceives this way. As a baby you are a passive victim. You receive. You soak everything in. You have no identity of your own but you start to develop one. You develop an identity based on what the DREAM tells you you are. This can come through the form of any person or experience that occurs, mainly through parents role-modeling or examples given by others. You "learn" an identity based on what the dream/ego tells you you are.

It goes further. Because now, anything that happens to you BY the dream, redefines not only the meaning of who you are (as anything other than powerful, unconditionally lovable, truth, God-Created, immortal etc). Since the dream is itself void of any truth it can only redefine you FALSELY, and however it treats you is like a statement telling you what is true of you. So if someone abuses you, that person represents a signal from the causal dream, as if it is an expression of TRUTH, telling you what you are.

If you are abused, and if the abuse is truth, then you MUST be something abuseable, you MUST have asked for it, there MUST be something wrong with you, and you simply ACCEPT and ALLOW this display of lies to enter your mind. It reconfigures your sense of who you ARE, which modifies your IDENTITY. And especially as a young person you have no memory of your true self and nobody is modeling unconditional love for you all the time, so you basically lose sight of the truth about you. You form a sense of self which is artificial, dictated by the world, and you actually believe it is true - it is what you are. You have been turned into an abused victim by the dream, not by the events that seemed to make this happen or by the people who were involved, but by the sheer fact that you believed and perceived the dream was your creator, it had power to define you, and that you are at its effect.

This can of course go on for years before you start to get a sense of discord within yourself, which may lead you to healing paths or exploring who you really are or trying to find out why these things happened. But ultimately, it all boils down to the reversal of cause and effect. All the ways the "dream dreams you", dictates your identity and defines what you are. If you allow that, accept it, believe it, or go along with it in any way, having abandoned your TRUE SELF, you become a powerless victim. Unconscious. The dream would kill you if you let it.

Correction is needed. Healing is called for. A reawakening to the TRUTH about you is absolutely required. You need to reverse cause and effect back to its proper orientation, which means learning that YOU are the cause and the dream is YOUR effect. You have command over it, dominion over it, power over it, and it extends solely from you. It never happens TO you, you are never victimized BY it, it is never responsible for turning you into an effect against your will, and essentially, it is nothing. Effects are nothing. They have no power, they do not make anything happen, they aren't real.

Recognize then that EVERY SINGLE TIME that you RE-ACT to the dreamworld, it must be that you believe the dream is dreaming you. You have become the effect of it, and the cause has been displaced outside of you. You are reacting TO it because of what it is doing TO you. You've disowned your power. You've got things back to front. You've forgotten that YOU are the cause, and have turned into a victim. You cannot be victimized when you take back your power and learn that you are the cause of the dream. You are the dreamer, not the other way around!

All reactions are reactions to the belief that cause is outside of you. All reactions are the responses that the `powerful dream` with an `alien will` has determined you are supposed to have. Its as if the dream is broadcasting a signal "this is what you are" and you are receiving it, and your experience of victimhood or upset is how it feels to receive that signal and to experience its power OVER you, changing you against your will. All reactions are the redefinition that the dream is trying to impose onto you, to change who you are and to affect you. All reactions are responses and retaliations that map to the stimuli that is being thrown at you.

Seemingly serious and important external causes seem to call forth seemingly larger reactions in you. This is the hierarchy of illusions. Big causes call for big effect. If you are constantly re-acting to the dreamworld, it is because you firmly believe that CAUSE is outside of you and that YOU are at its effect. Everything about the dream testifies to this. Every single thing that 'happens' is an attempt to affect you and redefine your identity as the ego. The ego is the dream fabric and the ego-dream wants you to be described AS a dream. It sees you only as a victim and as your own victimizer.

Because projection makes perception, and because perception could be likened to 'receiving' the dream into your senses (symbolically), it is perception which seems to trigger ALL reactions. You perceive something external has caused something, and now it has produced effects in you. These artificial effects attempt to mangle and distort you and throw you into chaos, with upset emotions and crazed thinking. All reactions are reactions to perceptions. What came before perception?

Before perception there is projection. And this is why you have to take responsibility for what you are projecting, in order to free yourself from your OWN reactions to your OWN STUFF. It is YOUR OWN CAUSALITY out there staring you back in the face and scaring the shit out of you, to which you then react as if it is NOT yours and is some other horror show made to upset you. YOU gave it its power, YOU gave it its causality, by disowning your own. It's YOU that is attacking you. It is YOU that has been projected AS the very dream that now attempts to dream you. You must move past the reactions by realizing you are reacting to your own projected power, AND TAKE BACK THAT POWER, so that you can admit that the cause is IN YOU. YOU are the dreamer of the dream. Get it straight! It takes orders from you. You're the boss.

What is life like when you are 100% the cause? When you are 100% cause there are no effects, no dream, no illusion, no suffering, no death. Immortality is a state of perfect causality, the 'effect' of which is the same thing as the cause, with no separation between them. You are not a victim of the world you see. Take another look at this with Holy Spirit and admit the truth. The truth shall set you free. You dreamed up all this shit, remember?